Comments on: Holiday Weekend Open Thread

By: Blue

Blue — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 14:37:58 +0000

I couldn’t (or more accurately didn’t want to) do that any longer, either. I’ve been in-house for 14 years now and am much, much happier.

By: J

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 17:59:29 +0000

My grandmother has given me Starbucks gift cards. I wasn’t offended, nor did I think it was impersonal. I just enjoyed the lattes!

By: dr

dr — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 21:07:21 +0000

For 10-15 dollars you can probably find some monogrammed notes or writing paper at a local card shop. Somewhat personal but distant, useful, and likely welcome for all those of us who still “write.” If you avoid the odious tin of cookies or popcorn, you won’t be on her short list of targets, which may help you maintain the distance. Who knows, she might be touched in some way by something “personal” and turn happy a bit. Worth a chance, esp. if you’re out buying cards or gift wrap anyway.

By: Erin M.

Erin M. — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 06:06:53 +0000

Just give her something nice, but generic, that requires a little more thought than a gift card. Like a pretty mug and a bag of nice coffee, a fruit basket, or a matching hat and gloves. You’re stuck with her now and may as well make yourself look gracious – if you give her a thoughtless or cheap gift, you look bad too.

By: Gem

Gem — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 16:37:18 +0000

I used to do 18hrs on, 6 off (with 2 meals to eat, personal hygiene to sort and a weapon to clean in that 6 hrs) so I can manage on 4 hrs sleep no problem. For days when it stretched to 24 or 36 on napping helps. I’ve never stretched past about 52hrs without crashing out to sleep for about 8 hrs after. But if anyone gets the napping theory to beyond three days and to feel good on it I’d love to hear about it.

By: Lawgirl

Lawgirl — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 14:39:22 +0000

@KH, your advice sounds like the kind I give to my daughter, particularly when I struggle personally with the same challenges that she faces. You can’t tell your kids: “Screw her; get her a crappy gift and be done with it.” Ha. Having kids does make us better human beings, doesn’t it? :-)

By: E

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:42:45 +0000

Do you have a person in the program you could switch with? Someone who would understand your feelings but maybe doesn’t find the person so odious?

Or, go generic, and live with it. You don’t love her. Starbucks cards are always nice (unless she is allergic to coffee, and then it would be kind of awesome, if she really is that bad).

By: KH

KH — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 04:11:01 +0000

Totally easy for me to ‘fantasize’ being “above it all” so if this following makes you gag, I totally get it. I don’t know where all my sweetness is coming from – must be Thanksgiving.

Try to imagine what would make you feel good right now and ask if she might be in the same place. If your feet are cold, remember that she too has feet and get her some nice socks. Are you missing your family? She has family – get her a pretty picture frame. Feeling busy and wishing someone would cook for you? Give her a GC for a restaurant with carry out or a grocery store with a prepared foods deli and a note telling her to treat herself next time cooking seems like too much.

The point is: think of how you and she DO share something – common humanity. It will make you feel better to focus on that, rather than how awful she is – a gift to yourself that will last at least until the next time she does you find unforgivable.

Now, if I were only good at taking my own advice.

Happy Day-After-Thanksgiving, ya’ll.

By: SRS

SRS — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 00:39:43 +0000

I’m in a fairly close-knit master’s program of about 25 people and we are doing a Secret Santa exchange before our holiday party next week. Unfortunately, I don’t like the person whose name I drew from the hat. I don’t mean that I find her kind of annoying, but rather that I think she is a genuinely awful person and take steps to have as little interaction with her as possible. What I should have done was pretend that I drew my own name and then tried again, but it is too late for that now and I’m hoping that people can give me some suggestions for gift ideas.

I’ve considered just giving her a cop-out present like a Starbucks card, but last year most people got quite creative with their presents and I feel like if I give a gift cart it will be obvious that I put absolutely no thought or effort into it. We have a $10-$15 price limit and I appreciate any suggestions y’all have.

By: Mel^2

Mel^2 — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 21:54:37 +0000

I had a friend in law school whose prior job required 24-36 hour shirts. She told me 20 minute or 90 minute naps were the best way to go. If you try a 2-hour nap it doesn’t work quite right with your sleep cycle and you just end up more groggy.