Comments on: Reader mail: On holiday parties

By: Res Ipsa

Res Ipsa — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:45:38 +0000

I think it completely depends on the culture of the particular office. Some offices think that the significant other must also be a “team player” supporting the office. Personally, I’ve yet to go to a work event where the conversation didn’t devolve into “shop talk” within 10 minutes and the significant others sit around bored out of their mind. I’d just as rather spare my spouse that! But if you have people at work you want your SO to meet, go for it!

By: A

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:29:15 +0000

@LPC thank you for the gracious apology.

We exist in engineering, I promise! Though our numbers are low, they’ve been climbing over the past decade.

By: georgienyc

georgienyc — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 18:07:02 +0000

i like simple black shifts as well. splurge and buy a great one that’ll last for a while and you can always funk up with some cool accessories.
Here are some of our favorites:
http://www.what2wearwhere.com/blog/post/2009/12/03/Revive-Your-LBD.aspx

By: SummerAssociate

SummerAssociate — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:39:25 +0000

Significant Others were explicity invited, and I suppose my thought was that it would seem hostile not to bring him when he was invited, and people I’ve spoken with have already indicated a desire to meet him. He’s a law student too, and I’ve attended the Christmas party at his firm already. Is it “done” to tell your spouse to stay home, when he’s been invited and welcomed by the hosts?

By: Ashley

Ashley — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:38:18 +0000

I’m with corporette. The safest thing you could wear is a black shift dress, black hose/shoes, and pearls. Classy, safe, elegant. If the dress is sleeveless, I might consider a nice cardigan that had a bit of sheen to it. (Or, if the cardigan has no sheen, a broach).

By: Res Ipsa

Res Ipsa — Mon, 07 Dec 2009 15:41:59 +0000

The fashion advice here is sound, but I guess the underlying question is: is it appropriate/necessary to use a spouse as a “prop” for one’s career? I wouldn’t expect my spouse to attend my work functions, nor would I attend theirs. We’re in different fields; would it be different if there were networking possibilities available?

By: LPC

LPC — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:12:52 +0000

I meant Star Trek gear:). And I thought the Ruby on Rails porn star slides were evil. It’s always terrible when our discomfort with the public usage of women’s sexual aspect is used to make us seem like whiners. Or asexual clones.

By: LPC

LPC — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:10:59 +0000

Exactly. It’s not about being the good little woman. You can and should be what you are – within appropriate boundaries. It’s about realizing that *in this moment* what you are is secondary to the role you are playing. In this situation, it’s just the same for support husbands at their executive wives’ holiday parties. As I said above, this applies primarily to larger companies, where the ceremonial aspect prevails over the personal.

By: LPC

LPC — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 17:08:34 +0000

A. My apologies – I think I was not clear. I did not mean to imply that women in tech are likely to dress in Star Trek great. I meant that many of the uber-geeks I know and love, of the male variety, seem to focus more on their tecchie mythic passions than on stimuli before their eyes. I totally have your backs. When I can find you. I was in product management, eventually a VP leading a group of product managers. I hired women. I rarely met them amongst my engineering counterparts.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 04:30:33 +0000

Well said