Bargain Friday’s TPS Report: Asymmetrical Gathered T

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Gap Asymmetrical TI love nothing more than finding a great basic on sale – and judging from the reviews on Gap.com this top is the rare find in that it is both loose and comfortable — but also slimming. Brilliant. The “hushed violet” (pictured) and black are on the deepest sale ($17.99); there’s also a plum for $19.99 and a “twilight navy” for $24.99. The tee was originally $29.50 at Gap. Gap Asymmetrical gathered T


Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected] with “TPS” in the subject line.

(L-2)

Comments

  1. Housecounsel :

    It’s cute, but I’m quite sure I’d have to wear it with some sort of Spanxlike cami underneath. Those superthin tees show every bulge.

  2. I just fell asleep looking at this post. . . boring color, boring shirt.

    • Associette :

      Ha! Anonymous – funny stuff and I agree. There is nothing fabulous about this shirt; the color, shape, and fabric are all unremarkable. I would not wear this to work.

    • Not my cup of tea either.

      I look good in that color but that styling does not look work appropriate to me. It is too low cut, too sheer and just too casual hanging out with the gal pals on the weekend to me.

  3. AnonymousFRA :

    This looks too much like PJs to be office-appropriate, I think. I’m seeing this with sweatpants, cocoa and a fireplace.

    • Me too! I have several of these super-thin, loungey/stretchy/v-neck cotton and/or modal tops that I wear with pajama bottoms on Sundays or snowdays (like now) :-) I get mine for $3.99 or so from NY&Co or TJ Maxx.

      • govvie girl :

        Yep…got lots of these from Target. At least we’re all comfy in these when we’re home! Unfortunately, I do not have the fireplace… :(

  4. Ok for casual but probably would be dangerous to bend and pick up anything as it would probably show more than I’d want to:) though would be a great ‘maternity’ top with the drape.

  5. I dont get this bl0g these last couple of days. We have a purse no one can afford, or a cheap, boring pajama top that’s inappropriate for the office.

    WTF.

    • I sort of agree with this. I rarely see stuff I would I actually want to buy for myself. I think someone mentioned it before but the Bargain Reports would be so much better if they were actual bargains – say a silk blouse reduced by 60% or something similar. Crappy GAP tee shirts don’t count.

      • Totally agree. $5 off a Gap t-shirt is hardly a bargain. (Since the violet is the ugliest color I’ve seen that would wash out anyone who doesn’t have really dark skin.)

        • I think the navy and plum would look great on fair skinned/dark haired ladies (which includes me). Taste differs I guess.

          • lawyerette :

            I think jjio was talking about the lavender/violet pictured, which I agree would not look good on most pale people (except maybe redheads). And completely agree: navy/plum would look great on winters, especially fair skinned brunettes!

          • I agree, but a t-shirt for $25 instead of $30 is hardly a bargain. So the $17 deal is a color a think many would look horrible in. Not to mention I can’t even dream of wearing this to work. There’s casual friday and then there’s “it’s a t-shirt I’m wearing, completely crosses over to the too casual for work” category.

          • Gotcha – the “violet” looks pink to me, I didn’t really pay attention to the name of it. I still think that it would work for work (like EC suggested), but acknowledge that it may not be your personal style.

        • I am under the impression that Monday posts are the relatively more expensive items and the Friday posts are less expensive items. Maybe not a “bargain” in the sense that it had a significant price reduction, but that it’s a “bargain” in the sense that it’s significantly cheaper than getting a designer version of the item.

          • Yeah, but a bargain does not just mean something cheap. It has to be a great price + a great deal. This is not a great deal. Putting aside it’s pajama aspects, this shirt will be at the gap for $6.99 in 2 weeks time, if not sooner.

            For anyone who does want it, enter GAPSALE30 at checkout to get an extra 30 % off any sale items.

        • Divaliscious11 :

          Well, I am certain not everyone who reads this sight falls into the category of not having “really dark skin,” so it’s hardly offensive for Kat to post something that may not be flattering to everyone who reads the blog. Lots of things that get posted aren’t flattering because I have dark skin. I’d never suggest Kat not post them….

          • I never meant it that way. I just meant usually things seem to be flattering to multiple types of women.

          • Black, which is a color that multiples types of women can wear, is the same price at the light pink.

            Additionally, I have fair skin and this shade of pink looks great on me. It’s nearly the same color as my skin, though, so I do have to be careful when it comes to wearing it to work, though.

          • it’s a plain black t. I got bored to death reading about it.

          • The Original Yada :

            The comment at 2:24 is not, in fact, me (Yada from 2:21). It looks like 8989 is in fact the same commenter who has done this to me (under a different name, which I was forced to change) in the past. Sigh. Kat, is there any way to set up your blog so users would have the option of registering? (I’ve seen blogs like this before. People can have a registered username and password, preventing others from using the same name to comment. However, if people are adverse to registering for some reason, it’s not necessarily required to comment.)

          • I agree with this comment completely. I don’t have the “really dark skin” (unless all shades of brown are considered really dark) and pastels such as this are very flattering on me. I’m not sure what multiple types of women mean (once again, unless all ‘brown’ women, the majority worldwide, are just one type of woman). Please be more careful in making comments like this that are ‘othering’, as it suggests that clothing that only suits “dark skin” isn’t worth posting.

    • Your snarkiness is uncalled for. Kat can’t please every person every day. Particularly because this blog’s audience has such a wide income range and (predictably) varying tastes. It’s ridiculous and juvenile to expect otherwise. Obviously any given person is going to feel inclined to actually purchase a very small number of suggested items. For example, I would never in a million years pay $1500 for a handbag, but I thought the bag was beautiful and good for inspiration.

      • And the snarky one is not you? Wow, you need to re-read your post.

      • Calling names isn’t exactly a step in the right direction, either.

      • well-said, meme.

        • Anonymous :

          She expressed an opinion that the suggestions dont seem relevant to most who visit this blog. She never attacked Kat. The attack from meme was just mean.

          • Agreed.

            Face it, we are an opinionated and usually quite articulate lot. If someone hits a nerve, then a time out, not a knee jerk reaction are called for. Name calling is just juvenile and does nothing but reflect poorly on the person who has to resort to that to make a point.

        • I don’t see any snarkiness in meme’s post. I can’t afford to buy a $1500 purse but those posts can still be used as inspiration in their shape, color, texture, styling etc. This shirt may not be your style, but it is a basic at almost half off for some of the colors.

          • Anonymous :

            “ridiculous and juvenile” is very snarky. Someone just saying they dont see the purpose of the posts lately wasn’t mean or attacking. I think meme was way out of line.

      • anonymous :

        I think many of these posts congratulating meme are actually meme herself. It’s plain her comment was meant to cause drama.

        • And I think all of the anonymouses are actually 8989. It’s plain she’s the one trolling/trying to cause drama (and I believe she’s someone I’ve seen do this before).

          • I am not 898989, but maybe it’s you? Or maybe there are multiple people commenting?

          • The Original Yada :

            Fine if you claim not to be the originaly 898989, but why use the same name as me? Extremely immature, at best. Sigh. Some people always insist on coming in and attempting to ruin good online communities.

          • Yada = prior K something that was mean to my cubical mate? I tend to think so.

          • The Original Yada :

            Huh? I’m not really sure what you’re referring to…

          • The Original Yada :

            But, I think it’s funny that you’re accusing someone of being mean when you’re the one who went out of your way to use someone else’s name. Trolling FTW!

            And with that, I’m done. I’m now all but certain that you (or your “cubicle mate”) are the person who railed on and on calling another user fat and telling her that her house probably looked like a fatty museum. Frankly, you’re not worth any more of my (or anyone else’s) time.

          • Woah, I most certainly NEVER called anyone fat or attacked their appearance.

            But way to think that as opposed to having fun with someone who called me juvenile by using their name. :) Totally different levels. . the one even borders on cruel.

            This is just for you being a snarky little I think I know it all.

          • Yada (the second one, or whoever you are), please, just stop. You’re being mean, I’ve seen people who seem like you use similar language and tactics before, you’re the one acting like a know-it-all, and nothing anyone’s done or said here even borders on cruel.

            And yes, it is juvenile (not to mention confusing to other posters) to intentionally use the same name as someone else. Why do it? (I’m sure I will never get an answer to this question, as I will never understand internet trolls and why they find it so amusing to be mean to others.)

          • You need to be morecreative. Considering Yada said Sigh in 4 posts here I can only believe it’s you.

            And you’re just changing your screen name multiple times to attack someone else, so I think you are the mean girl.

            Get over yourself.

          • Ha ha ha. Nope, I’m not the original yada. I must have picked up on the sigh from reading all of her posts. And this is the only name I’ve used on this thread, so nope, no changing of the name!

      • Ugh. I am so sick of the word “snarky”. It’s Friday, ladies. If you can’t get excited about the actual posts, no big deal – at least reflect some positive energy for the weekend!

        • govvie girl :

          Agree…fighters, please get a life (anonymous Internet blog fighting… new concept). So back to our regularly scheduled program…

    • Divaliscious11 :

      No offense 89s, but just because you may not be able to afford the bag, doesn’t mean that others who read this blog can not. Similarly, while this top may not appeal to you, or be suitable for your work environment, doesn’t mean it doesn’t appeal, work for someone else.

      What I don’t get is when Kat posts high end, people complain, and when she posts bargains, people complain. Like what you like, but don’t project your limitations on others.

      • Hold on. Forgive me if I think the purpose of this blog was to show suggestions appropriate for those who are professional women (i.e., not jeans and t-shirt type workplaces) who are looking to further their careers, etc.

        t-shirt to me is not appropriate. Also, I can pick up vogue/many other fashion magazies and see a $2000 purse that’s lovely. Usually these posts are to a find that’s office appropriate and either a deal or reasonably priced.

        • I would say a good portion of the items aren’t reasonably priced or deals (of course, everyone’s definition of reasonably priced is different). As had been discussed many times before, a lot of readers view the pieces Kat features as inspirational; even though they may not buy the specific piece, the posts give readers inspiration in terms of color, shape, etc.

          And I think there’s a way to style this shirt that’s entirely office appropriate, particularly in an office with casual Fridays.

          • Am I the only person who sees cleavage in the shirt above and the shirt looks see-thoughish (i.e., your bra or bra outline would definitely show through?)

            I dont think this is an appropriate top for any office, even if you are allowed to wear t-shirts.

          • I’m sure you’re not the only person, but I don’t see it, even upon zooming in further. Doesn’t mean it’s not there, but I’m not seeing it!

        • T-shirts may not be appropriate to you or in your opinion (which is totally fine), but may be to some. On many occassions, commenters here have talked about wearing t-shirts under suits (also, totally fine). They’re comfortable, machine wash/dryable, and can even do double-duty.

          Let’s ALL just cut the snark/drama, shall we?

        • I think the key here is “to me is not appropriate”. We’ve gone around and around on the discussion of not all offices being the same and not all body types being the same and not all tastes being the same. So on any given day, there is someone who doesn’t like the selected item or for whom the suggestion doesn’t work. You may use this blog as a resource for suggestions on professional attire, but that doesn’t mean that is the exclusive purpose of it.

          This blog is servicing a wide audience – and is not meant to serve as a personal shopper for any one person, profession, or geographic area. So, not everything is going to be applicable to everyone – including you. And maybe the rest of us aren’t flipping through the various fashion magazine available to see what the “in” color is, or to drool over a pretty piece of construction.

          So, I’m sorry that you’re upset that this blog isn’t being written with your situation specifically in mind.

          • You sound like a dream.

            If I saw a collegue wearing a suit with a t-shirt underneath I certainly would not think it’s appropriate.

          • The Original Yada :

            Just want to clarify that Yada at 2:34 is not me. I agree, the “to me” is important. And I want to make it clear that I wasn’t saying this would be appropriate at every office, just that for some, it would work for the office.

          • ‘The original Yada” is an imitation Yada poster.

          • The Original Yada :

            Actually, I’m not, but this is not worth arguing over. Why must trolls insist on invading every online community?

          • Calling someonea troll is mean. Why do you attack people like that? So I may be short, no need to call me names.

          • Pk/new yada (I’m assuming you’re the same person since no one called “you” anything) “troll” on the internet has nothing to do with height! By definition it’s exactly what the new yada is…someone who comes on to a message board with the intent of riling people up. I guess sometimes they find themselves funny? I also think a lot of the trolls on Corporette are men who like to say, “see, women are all so mean and catty.” Who knows if that’s true or not, though.

          • JESUS CHRIST, it was a joke. Internet troll, short person called a troll, get a sense of humor.

            I’m not someone else, but thanks for accusing me of things.

          • anonymous :

            Yada/Sigh quit f*&king responding if your not the same person (which you seem like you are).

            I find it amusing you call someone else a troll yet you are doing the exact definition of trolling yourself.

          • Ha ha ha ha ha.

            Anonymous/pk/yada/898989, you are funny! I do like seeing you get all riled up. And nope, I’m not either yada. And yep, I do have a sense of humor, which apparently was very lost on you!

        • Divaliscious11 :

          But, assuming people aren’t lying about their various workplaces, and why would they, we absolutely have professional environments where this top, properly styled, would be appropriate. The suggestion of pairing with a pencil skirt, pumps and jewelry would be absolutely acceptable where I currently work, and three prior jobs. Add a jacket, and I’d have been okay at my biglaw firm as well. Similarly, the bag has flown at last three jobs, although I have it in chocolate brown, not blue. I KNOW there are lots of posters with both more income, and disposable income (I have 2 kids!) on this board who can purchase a $1500 bag without blinking. So I am not suggesting you not have your opinion, but just suggesting that you remember the spectrum of the blogs audience.

          • I am amused/appaled/perplexed by the amount of posters who think a skirt 2″ above the knee is not appropriate but a tissue weight t-shirt is? Are you ladies serious?

            This isn’t even appropriate on a jeans friday unless it has a buttoned up blazer over it. It’s a tissue weight/practically see-through/low gaping neckline/t-shirt material shirt.

            This is what I’d expect a 20 year old intern to think is appropriate with a pencil skirt to work.

          • I agree with bev.

          • It’s tissue weight? I didn’t see that anywhere in the description – have you seen it in person?

        • I am still in agreement with you. I can afford that bag, love the color but don’t want to carry it to work.

          I would rather spend a little more for a shirt that covers me appropriately than spend anything, even $5 on a cheap bizarrely gathered t-shirt that will look worn out in 2 washings.

          And that is MY opinion.

      • I’m with Divaliscious on this one. I’d also like to respectfully point out that at the bottom of Kat’s post she requests that readers e-mail her with suggestions for future items to post for Bargain Friday. So if you think that there are better items that could be featured on the blog, send ‘em along to Kat!

        Although I don’t always like the items featured or agree on their office-appropriateness, I think the bottom line here is that Kat works hard to produce a good blog here–but we shouldn’t forget that she’s also holding down a demanding day job just like the rest of us. I believe she once posted that sometimes the clothes she picks for posts are things she really loves or thought were great deals, but sometimes it’s just the best thing she could find in the time she had to find an item to feature. So let’s be respectful.

    • Co-signing.

      And as usual 95% of the comments have nothing to do with the post.

  6. At first I thought this shirt wasn’t work appropriate, but after more contemplation I think I could wear it with a black or charcoal gray suit that had a close tailored jacket (to offset the bagginess of the shirt) and an opera-length necklace of purple or gray faux pearls or glass beads. Or I might wear it with a charcoal gray pencil skirt and put a skinny belt (or tie a colorful scarf) over the shirt at or slightly higher than my natural waist, then wear the aforementioned opera-length necklace and shoes that picked up a color in the scarf or the necklace.

    And yes, I’d wear a cami as well!

  7. Is it just me, or does everyone sound grumpy? At least its Friday.

    • Agree! But maybe it’s just because I actually AM grumpy today, so it makes everyone else seems grumpy. I need sunshine and warmth…no more snow.

      • govvie girl :

        Have been hitting my new lightbox mornings and after work 20 min each. I think it’s helping (whether “actually” or by placebo); I’m not feeling as much wintertime inertia and moodiness. I also call the doldroms my hibernating bear persona.

    • totally.

      I am feeling awfully grumpy myself. at least I am keeping it to myself.

    • cold gray anon :

      Where I am everyone has been grumpy this week. It’s been cold and gray and I know I’m feeling really unmotivated. TGIF indeed.

    • Grumpy and bitchy is apparently the new normal ’round these here comment parts.

    • Seriously. Is it possible that an on-line community of women could actually start cycling together? ;) j/k

      Just a few more hours to the weekend!

      • I was kind of wondering the same thing. :)

      • LOL at “an on-line community of women could actually start cycling together?”

      • I’m pretty sure, after reading through the comments, that one person is commenting under different names to try to stir up drama and some people are getting drawn in. Don’t feed the trolls, ladies!

        (And have a good weekend, all!)

        • “Don’t feed the trolls, ladies!”

          Haha! That needs to be the new motto for today.

          • I kind of just want to buy the shirt and wear it to work. Just to prove I can.

        • If you do, give us a report!

          FWIW, I’m pretty firmly in the, “this could be worn to some workplaces, if styled correctly, but would not be appropriate in all workplaces and could also be worn casually if styled casually” camp. (Wow, that’s a mouthful.) So, assuming your workplace is one of the ones that this could easily be worn to, I guess I doubt there would really be much to report!

  8. Use promotional code GAPSALE30 and get 30% off sale stuff. I just scored three tops to mix and match with sweaters and blazers for work. Entire order under $50 with free shipping. Thanks for the heads up, Kat!

  9. The problem with finding stylish discounted items, that I’ve found when scouting stuff for my blog, is that there will only be one or two sizes left for any given piece. So it’s kind of a gamble featuring one of those items in a post, when most readers will be disappointed.

    But yeah, I agree that this shirt is not the best work option — I’m not sure the asymmetrical gathering would look good under a blazer.

    • See I would really disagree with this. I don’t think I’ve ever (well nearly) bought something that wasn’t discounted and my wardrobe has its fair share of good quality silk and poly blouses, decent tailoring and knitwear pretty dresses. I usually find that everything I want ends up on sale. I mean hell, I remember liking a cardigan from Brooks’ Brothers’ Spring 2010 line…and I just bought it, in both the colours I had initially liked, in January 2011 for 70% off the price. I don’t think I’ve ever been in a ‘oh shucks, it sold out situation.’

      • I agree. It may require more effort but there are tons of bargains out there.
        Brooks Brothers has really nice silk/cotton cardigans on sale for $39 (down from $99) and the great bright purple shade, e.g., is available in all sizes.
        Talbots has several sweaters marked down to $12 – $15 dollars, also available in many sizes.
        I honestly haven’t paid full price for anything at the Gap in years (maybe ever) because their stuff gets discounted so often and so quickly. I think that’s the reason that it just doesn’t strike anyone as a bargain. If anything, this top strikes me as vastly overpriced.

      • Are you finding this stuff online? I’ll admit I don’t go to Brooks’ Brothers very often, but I find it’s the case with J.Crew and department stores. I guess I’m looking in the wrong spots.

        I also rarely get things full price, but I’m more often than not disappointed to find that something I love on sale isn’t in my size.

        • I find that the better deals are often online. However, I think ‘killer’ deals are often to be had instore. What I mean by this is that you might find stuff reduced by 50-60% online under websites’ sale section but if you want a crazy 80% deal or something ridiculous, you proabably need to hit the store’s Outlet at sale time.

        • Brooks Brothers almost never does in-store sales (save for occasional promotions), same for many other stores. With BB, you have to go to their “clearance” section on their website. I usually find a lot of what I buy online, and will return to the store if it doesn’t work out. I don’t get disappointed when something is not in my size b/c it’s no different then when you’re in a store and something is not your size.
          I just don’t think of something as a potential purchase until I see my size in that item.
          Agree that sometimes a super amazing deal requires in store appearance (like when I got DKNY leather riding boots for $20 one August), but that’s not something you can ever plan for. More like a super lucky break :)

        • govvie girl :

          I just got a great deal on a new pair of nice wellies, tipped from a friend’s Facebook posting of same shoes she’d just bought. Didn’t know they were on major sale until I hit the Nine West site. Shopping tips are everywhere :)

        • We must be the same size! When I find something I love, but can’t afford full price, it’s very likely that it will be gone in my size by the time it’s on sale. I usually shop sales instead of full price, but that means compromising

  10. Threadjack!
    Obviously I like to wear makeup. Not many women in my office do, but whatever, I wear it and I like it.
    We were recently re-organized and put on ae trial prep team, where we sit with others. One woman seems to have taken a keen interest in my makeup.
    Things she has said:
    You must be late because you’ve been putting on makeup (never mind we have open hours so we can rock up whenever we want).
    Must be nice to have enough time to put on makeup.
    On payday she asked if I was going to Sephora to spend my paycheck.
    Yesterday I took my bag into the bathroom with me (to change a tampon) and she said – Oh! Going to put on more makeup?

    Yesterday I snapped at her that I could show her some application tips, which was very unkind of me because she is not an attractive woman and she takes no pride in her appearance.

    The really embarrassing part of this is that she says it loudly in front of everyone, so now my other co-workers are chiming in with comments on my appearance as if to counter her. They tell me I look nice, or how I don’t look tired even though we’re on 14-hour days, etc, all very kind…but it’s so awkward.

    I don’t think there’s anything I can do but thanks for listening to the rant.

    • This story is hilarious.

      • Anonymous :

        That’s just mean. The gal is bullied and you laugh at her expense? Shame on you.

        • Come on, just picture one woman snarkily commenting on another woman’s makeup. It’s like a sitcom. It’s an objectively funny story.

          My advice would be to just confront the person and be like, “I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to comment on my makeup, it makes me uncomfortable and I don’t see how it’s your business.” If she’s your level or junior it shouldn’t be an issue and the ensuing conversation/humiliation is probably going to be entertaining as well.

          • Actually, I can see this (being like sitcom, I mean.) It sounds like the type of thing that the mother on Everybody Loves Raymond would say to Raymond’s wife… Which I think is a testament to how ridiculous Makeup Junkie’s co-worker is being.

    • She sounds like a miserable bitch. Kill her with kindness.

      I too have worked with and hate these women who dont die thier hair, wear makeup, no perfume, etc. who preach to those of us who do. I look damn good platinum blond. If you dont so be it. Dont hate on me and my gwen stephanie looking awesomeness.

      And I dont wear an excessive amount or look inappropriate (biglaw, NY associate). I just don’t look like a banana republic drone.

      • This made me happy. Good for you!

        • Thanks! I feel like if I see one more gal in my office all in the same grey banana dress and brown with blond highlights 4″ below the sholder hair I’m going to scream.

          I wish more people had the guts to not listen to those who preach these rules some old person made up and embrace their fashion sense. No one’s ever commented I look inappropriate. I’m not rocking a skin tight dress that shows cleavage (hello some of these banana dresses I regularly see in teh office), but I also refuse to have some old lady tell me a deep colored lipstick is inappropriate.

      • MakeUp Junkie :

        I don’t really care how others look so I find it strange that anyone would care about me, but I guess I’m naive like that.
        I’m just going to keep my iPod on

        • I’d say ” wow you seem to spend more time noticing my makeup than I do” or if you want to be mean ” well not all of us are natural beauties like u so I do need makeup”

    • Next time she says something like this in public, you may want to pause, look at her in silence for a moment with a puzzled expression (possibly a tilted head to play up your befuddlement). Then say “Gosh, [snark queen], you seem very interested in my makeup. What’s that about?” and maintain the look. Let her do the squirming and explanation, instead of you! :)

    • First off, that sucks. No one deserves to have someone comment on their physical appearance.

      Second, I can’t help but wonder if this is her way of suggesting you are wearing way too much make up? I’ve always been of the school of thought that the perfect amount of make up is where you look like you have very little (if any) on but you look fresher, better, etc. Her methods may such but maybe she’s trying to do you a favor and let you know it’s too much?

      Or, also possible and maybe more likely: she’s insecure and thinks you’re better looking so she wants to knock you down a peg publicly.

      • I think it’s the latter – the girl is insecure. If she actually thought Makeup Junkie wore too much makeup, she would either keep it to herself or confront MJ privately. Calling her out in public is just a way to make herself feel better.

    • Something strikes me as sad about this. It sounds like this person is maybe threatened by you, or that wearing make-up is something that she’d like to explore, but is afraid to.

      I’m sorry you have to deal with this – I worked in business development at an overseas scientific research facility, and got a lot of snide remarks from some of the female scientists about the fact that I wore make-up (and I actually only work lipstick and mascara, so it wasn’t particularly pronounced) and “girly” clothes. When word went around that I’d gotten into a top-5 law school, one woman said that I must have slept my way in (as if somehow, from thousands of miles away, I managed to seduce a member of the admissions committee!).

      Anyway, I know that it feels unpleasant to get these kinds of remarks if you’re the only person who wears make-up in a professional environment where it’s uncommon. Unfortunately, I have no advice – only sympathy.

      • surrounded by lawyers :

        I found it sad too. It seems to illustrate the double bind: you’re supposed to be pretty, but you can’t be too pretty. Both women in the story are getting called out, for opposite offenses. Sometimes I wish I could wear a bag over my head and skip all the conflicting pressures.

      • Like cbackson, I thought this sounded quite sad. You say that the woman making these comments doesn’t take much pride in her appearance. Maybe it is just that no-one has ever taught her how and she doesn’t even know where to start, and as a result she feels really insecure. I feel quite sorry for her. I don’t really have any advice for you except to try to be good-natured about it, hard though it may be!

        • Yes she is really passive aggressive. I am not the only one getting these comments.

          Thanks for listening ladies

          • MakeUp Junkie :

            Techno fail. I tried to post without my link lest I be accused of trolling but I somehow changed my user name only.

            I would say I’m glad it’s Friday but we’ll be working all weekend

      • anon in science :

        cbackson: Sing it. There is still the old stigma that if you take an interest in your appearance or are in any way “conventionally attractive” (as a therapist of mine once put it) you can’t possibly be serious about your work. Definitely a huge issue in the scientific fields.

        As for the original poster, there may be some of the attitude that pretty cannot be smart, or as others have said, the snarker is insecure. Would snarker be open to makeup tips? It would be difficult not to offer in a passive-aggressive way.

      • It is sad, but on the other hand, I don’t understand why people who don’t care about their own appearance care about someone else’s. I see women all the time who don’t get decent haircuts, don’t wash or sometimes seemingly even brush their hair before they leave in the morning, don’t wear a lick of makeup, and wear sloppy clothes. You know what? Fine. Not everyone has the same priorities in regards to their appearance. But why in the world would those people then want to make bad comments and make problems for those who have a different set of priorities? Why do they care, and especially, why would they care enough to make snide comments that are just going to cause interpersonal problems.

        I also don’t have any advice for the OP that would be productive, other than maybe confronting the woman directly and asking her to stop, which may or may not have any affect. In any case, don’t change what you’re doing if you’re comfortable with how you look. No need to give in to misdirected peer pressure.

        • It’s weird isn’t it? I don’t think anyone would question the idea that a man can be attractive and care about his appearance while also intelligent and successful. The only explanation that I can think of is that this woman has bought into the sexist notion that women are either “boring and ugly and serious” (shout out to the Legally Blonde quote above–love it!) or attractive and dumb as a rock. And the real irony is that she probably thinks of herself as a feminist for holding this view!

          Only advice I have for the OP: haters gonna hate. This woman sounds like a real piece of work and the fact that your coworkers are chiming in to defend you means that they recognize her craziness. She probably relishes the idea of getting under your skin. Carry on with as much grace and professionalism as you can muster and let her undermine her own career by burning bridges and mistreating her coworkers.

    • This woman sounds truly bizarre. Not that it would excuse her comments, but do you wear obviously noticeable make-up (e.g. bright red lipstick)? Maybe she’s trying to make a point about needing to be conservative for trial or something (of course, this is not at all the appropriate way to do that).

      But I like Lizbet’s suggestion, though maybe toned down a bit so you sound like the bigger person. Just politely ask her, in private, if she is concerned about your make up for some professional reason. If she says no, tell her that her comments are not appropriate. What she’s doing right now sounds like she’s attempting to undermine you…though it probably makes her appear unprofessional more than you. My guess is that she’s insecure about her own appearance, but you could diffuse the situation by addressing her directly and in a non-confrontational way.

      • I think this sounds like the best idea. I’m sorry you have to go through this.

      • Anonymous :

        I totally disagree that this woman may be pointing out she wears too much makeup.

        For one, a bright red lip is totally acceptable if you wear minimal eye makeup, it’s classic and in style and shows you have some style. Same with eyeliner and a nude lip. The not noticeable makeup rule is fine for some, but to wear a red lip or some blush that’s noticeable doesn’t mean your makeup is inappropriate.

        The commenter just sounds like a mean busybody who I suggest you just kill with kindness.

        • Just a question :

          Is this even a real story or are you just trying to get more page views for your make-up blog?

          • Anonymous :

            Im not the OP.

          • Anonymous :

            Makeup Junkie posts somewhat regularly on this blog, so I don’t think she is just trying to gain page views for her own blog.

          • Anonymous :

            I think this just shows how snarky people are being today. Someone posted an opinion and someone else assumes it’s fake for their own blog. Someone says the t-shirt is boring and inappropriate and gets yelled at above. What the frick?

          • LOL at “Frick.” I say “eff.”

        • We don’t even know what MJ wears to work on a daily basis. There are certainly some looks that are more appropriate for evening/weekend wear than they are for work or courtroom wear. It’s very likely that the coworker is just being ornery, but taking her aside to ask whether she has any specific complaints and letting her know in private that the snide remarks aren’t appreciated seem like a better bet than killing with kindness.

          • anonymous :

            To each his own. I wold just smile and ignore her. But I prefer being nice and not making unnescessary drama.

          • I’m with you, Mel. I don’t think it’s making unnecessary drama if you politely take someone aside and speak with her. In fact, I think it’s quite the opposite. It seems like this situation is causing a lot of unnecessary drama already and ignoring it means it will continue to do so.

    • I’m fond of saying, “Pretty doesn’t pay my bills.” Adjust it for your needs (e.g. “Too bad my make-up won’t win us this case – now back to what will.”)

      • “Pretty doesn’t pay my bills.” Love that! Going to keep it in mind for future use. :)

      • When would this be appropriate? I’m sure it is true, but when do you say it? Surely not when someone says “you look pretty today,” because, in my world, most comments are sincere.

    • I usually wear champagne eyeshadow, black eyeliner and foundation to work and on the random occasion that I wake up 5 minutes early, I wear a slightly darker eyeshadow in my creases. *Every* time I did, this woman who does data entry would comment on how nice it looked and how she wondered how I did it. She was sincere but it embarrassed me so much because I’m one of very few female engineers and she would say it really loudly in the corridors. Taught me that work isn’t the place to embellish makeup, no matter how subtly.

      • Don’t mind her. What you described sounds quite lovely.

        • Thanks =)

          • Why don’t you just tell her how you do it?

            I find talking girly stuff with the other women in the office is a great way to forge good relationships with them, be they other engineers, admins, hr, or whoever. I’ve found the guys to be very understanding of me needing some girl talk :)

    • govvie girl :

      Haven’t read all the comments but this strange woman sounds like she’s got some mental health issues, beyond bitchy. What person says things like that unless they’re, um, emotionally challenged, shall we say, or just coming out of the junior high girls’ bathroom? It’s one thing to vent or gossip about other offices or people not present-not nice but we all do it. Face to face targeted personal insults (by an adult?) are simply bizarre – beyond mean. Hopefully someone who can direct this creature will direct her to mandatory help (let’s see, six weeks in sunny wherever…). Not that it doesn’t suck in the meantime.

    • Anonymous :

      Sad, mean, eternal, transparent, etc., yes.

      But…

      Do you wear too much makeup?

      We, your fellow ‘Rettes, aren’t jealous of you, would never put you down, think you’re pretty, smart, connected, current, lovely. It isn’t personal with us, couldn’t be, we’ll never know you. Want only the best.

      Have you taken the (unasked-for, unkind, for sure) opportunity to honestly assess the situation, your priorities, the way you are (it has been revealed) seen by others?

      Be smart, act smart, yes. But appearances (as a stylish, makeup-loving beauty knows) count. In many ways, aesthetic and otherwise.

      Stay yourself, stay sane, stay cool. But we none of us exist in a vacuum. Maybe there’s a time and place for every look?

      But you don’t deserve unkindness and I’m glad you can vent to us.

      • Anonymous :

        So continue to be smart, act smart, and take the opportunity to look smart, too? Yes, while staying stylish and femme and fun. I agree, for all of us. It’s a balance to be a woman, a lady, a girl, and dudes will never know… it can be hard. But it’s a privilege to find that balance and rock it. I agree, less makeup could be in order (could! only could and only the OP knows), but the sense of self and strength and girlyness should stay put exactly.

      • I just want to say that this was very gently and kindly put, Anonymous. Supportive, yet with that edge of “have you considered?” that a true friend would ask.

        Sometimes I am humbled and amazed at how gracious and lovely this community is. And given how cranky some of the first commenters were in this thread, it’s good to see some grace and loveliness further down!

        • I agree, this is so nicely put.

          I’d do what Lizbet suggested – look at her quizzically, and ask why she is so obsessed with your makeup. Preferably in front of others.

  11. SF Bay Associate :

    Reporting back on the Ivanka Trump Indico pumps in beige – they are lovely, but the shoes are too pale for my skin (they match her skin, I think), so sadly they must go back. I had a nice bit of toe wiggle room in my usual size, plenty of space to add the heel pads and ball of foot pads I like to add to my pumps. The shoes weren’t super narrow in the toebox, unlike say Cole Haan. They looked high quality for the $120 price, and this from someone who usually only buys Italian-made shoes (on clearance).

    I expect I will end up purchasing shoes from her line. Very impressed!

  12. I was reading the thread from the YSL bag and saw someone complain about their assistants. Oh boy! I work in a small office with 2 assistants, one who is nice and completely incompetent, one who is super-competent and has a matching chip on her shoulder. That chip, it should be mentioned, is directed solely at me. I really have no idea why she has chosen to single me out but she makes up all these inane reasons to dislike me – I slurp my coffee too loudly, I laugh too much, I have too many shoes in my office. I have theories about why she actually dislikes me but it’s not anything I can actually change (i.e., I’m the lawyer and she’s the secretary – things like that). I can tell it’s a bad day when I saw “Hi ______!” on my way to my office and she like glowers at me and says “hi.” very curtly.

    I can’t really complain because the partner loooooooves her. It’s more like something I have to deal with and rant about to my friends.

    • WorkingWithSnark :

      Unfortunately, women are not the nicest to each other in the workplace, especially when there is a power difference. I vividly remember (when I was a law clerk way back when) how one particular assistant would comment on my outfits pretty much everyday. Things like “How many handbags do you have?!” or “Do you go shopping like every weekend?!” but there were never any compliments. (For the record I only had a few bags on rotation). It is not something you can change. It is their issue, not yours. Be yourself.

    • That sucks.
      I don’t know if it will work but when I have to deal with these people I find that pretending they are not a**holes is the way to go. Kill them with kindness and all of that. It becomes almost like a game, and as a result even if I don’t win them over, I find that I am no longer annoyed by their hostility. It’s like, “of course, so-and-so would respond like that!” instead of “why oh why is that person acting like that?”
      Maybe it would help?

      • The way I handle it is I just generally ignore her when she gets snarky. I know it’s not me – the things she chooses to pick at (another associate tells me about it) are little things I can’t control (seriously, how does having too many shoes in *my* office affect *her* life?) so I’ve given up trying to please. One of my friends suggested that I give her a bunch of menial tasks to do to enforce the power structure, which is an interesting idea. I don’t know if it’s a good or bad idea, just interesting.

        What I really worry about is that she makes these kinds of comments (similar to what WorkingWithSnark mentioned) to my superiors. I don’t need her telling my boss that I carry a different handbag every day or spend $x on clothing. I assume my bosses (who are mostly men) don’t realize/don’t care/have wives who also spend money on things, but it’s not something I want people discussing.

        • I don’t think you should change your behavior for her. But I wouldn’t assign her menial tasks just to make the point, either — that sounds like it would escalate things.

        • Of course I don’t know your boss, but I cannot imagine a busy man (or even a not so busy man) entertaining that conversation with even the best of assistants. I think you can and should deal with her without the additional worry about what she is saying to your boss.

          Good luck.

    • I’m sorry you have to deal with this. I’ve dealt with it in the past. I’ve noticed this problem where older female support staff have are nasty to younger female attorneys and believe the problem is due to jealousy. Can you imagine a female legal assistant complaining to an older male attorney that he laughs too much, drinks coffee too loudly and has too many shoes in his office? I think “killing with kindness” is not adviseable, because it comes off as fake. The way to go is to be polite and professional, but make expectations about work assignments clear.

    • My assistant makes fun of me for having my suit coats hung in my office and too many shoes as well. OY!
      And, same sitch with the partner loving her. She hangs the frickin’ moon and the sun shines out her… well. You know what I mean.
      I’ll say it, even though I might get flamed, I wish I had a male assistant. Like that will ever happen…

      • I think the problem isn’t so much that she is a woman as it is that she’s only a few years older than me. If I had someone younger than me it wouldn’t be an issue because it would be acceptable for me to be senior to her. If I had someone much older than me, she probably would have gotten over these issues a long time ago. But because she’s about my age, I feel like she bridles at having someone slightly younger than her be her “boss”. She doesn’t take me seriously and thinks that “we’re about equal” (she actually said this). That’s why she feels so comfortable being so rude to me.

        • Does your firm/company have a review process for support staff? I would address this behavior in her review. When I first came to my current firm I was assigned an assistant who seemed to resent my very existence. When I would ask her to do something she would try and direct me to someone else or how to do it myself. I soon discovered she did this with everyone who was not a partner. I managed to get a new assignment but definitely noted the attitude issues in the review – for what they were worth.

          • oh, and I feel to be fair – anytime you are putting something in someone’s review, you should give the person a head’s up so it isn’t a surprise. Take her for coffee or something and explain that while she does x, y and z very well, she needs to improve her attitude because it is not professional. Putting it in the context of the review process reinforces your position without being condescending, in my opinion.
            I will add that I worked with an associate who was significantly junior to me who had similar attitude issues (in terms of thinking we were on the same level) and this is essentially the advice I was given in terms of how to address the issue.

    • Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to put up with a certain level of this.

      I once did a short stint in a small law office where the office manager/head secretary had some weird sexual tension with the main partner. She had been a teenage mom, never finished college, and she had worked for this guy for most of her career. They spent a lot of time flirting at work, even though they were both in committed relationships with others. When I started there, I think she was really jealous of me, partly because I was getting attention from the partner, and partly because I was a young, single woman with a lot more education than her, and who could party into the night with no child-rearing responsibilities.

      Our office would go out for happy hours sometimes, and once, after a beer or two, she told me that no man would ever be attracted to me. In front of everyone. It was awful.

      But, unfortunately, that was part of the dynamic of that office. There wasn’t anything I could do to change the relationship she had with the partner. So I just dealt with it until my time there came to an end.

  13. Threadjack (networking follow-up question):

    I met someone at a company that I’m interested in at a conference. He’s in a different, but closely tied, division to the one I’d like to learn more about. I followed up after the conference with an email and my resume. He just sent me email saying that he had forwarded my resume along to the appropriate people in the other division. He also included their names but not their emails or an e-introduction. I can figure out these people’s emails, would it be appropriate to follow-up directly with them even though I haven’t formally been given their contact info? Or should I wait to give them a chance to look my resume over? Or some third option like asking my contact if it would be appropriate to email them directly?

    TIA!

    • I think you’d be fine following up with them directly in a day or two. If someone was given my full name, I wouldn’t think it odd if they contacted me even if I somehow knew my specific contact info wasn’t provided, nor would I think it were odd if I gave someone a coworker’s name and that person reached out on her own to said coworker.

      • Yeah, I think it’s ok to follow-up with the names he gave you. I don’t think he would have given you their full names had he not wanted you to check in with them.

        It wouldn’t hurt to check with him, if it makes you uncomfortable.

        Chances are, he’s done all he can.

  14. Not slimming for the busty among us.

  15. Random thought:

    I received a thank you card today from a law student with whom I had lunch. Instead of a plain card, she used a blank note with an image of our school. It made me nostalgic and I thought it was a nice touch.

    Back to work…

  16. You don’t say in your orginal post but, while you were talking with this gentleman at the conference, did he specifically tell you that there were openings at his company and suggest that you send your resume? Did he suggest that you talk to some other employees at his office? If not, then I think you should have just sent an email to him to say that you enjoyed meeting him, fowarding along your resume may have been a bit presumptive. If his company is not currently hiring, why should any one call you and why would you have to make any follow up calls?

  17. I am amused/appaled/perplexed by the amount of posters who think a skirt 2″ above the knee is not appropriate but a tissue weight t-shirt is? Are you ladies serious?

    This isn’t even appropriate on a jeans friday unless it has a buttoned up blazer over it. It’s a tissue weight/practically see-through/low gaping neckline/t-shirt material shirt.

    This is what I’d expect a 20 year old intern to think is appropriate with a pencil skirt to work.

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