Coffee Break – Knightsbridge Jasper Tote

kate spade new york Knightsbridge Jasper ToteI like this boxy, briefcasey tote from Kate Spade — the crocodile-embossed patent looks really sharp. It’s available at Kate Spade in the teal pictured here, and both Bloomie’s and Kate Spade have it in a dark brown “cajun toffee,” as well as a light beige “goose” for $425. kate spade new york Knightsbridge Jasper Tote

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Comments

  1. I LOVE Kate Spade. I wish I could get a job in their legal department just to get some sort of discount. I actually might even work there if they paid me solely in purses, clothes, and shoes.

    • Hee hee, you’d be fighting me for the job. :-)

      • Me too! I adore her stuff. I only have a few pieces, but I feel so sassy every time I wear what I do have. If only I didn’t have to buy only the seriously-reduced-in price items.

        By the way, I am wearing a bright red pair of wool, wide leg pants from her today. I am generally not a pants person, but I really love these. With a light blue BB no-iron shirt and long yellow necklace, I feel pretty awesome.

        On another note, the inside of the pants say: “He went off to buy her a pair of pants and when he returned she had fled for France” or something like that. It makes me smile. I love it when designers do stuff like that.

        Okay, ending my love affair with Kate Spade right.now.

        • That outfit sounds awesome! I have one of her iPhone cases and it says “HAVE COURAGE” on the inside. It’s a nice phrase to keep in mind whenever I’m looking at the inside of the case (meaning I dropped my phone and it popped out and I need courage to look and see if my phone is still working!)

          The ways I talk myself out of her pieces:
          1. look at my bank account. or
          2. look and see if it has a zipper to close the purse. Usually hers don’t and the need for closure on my bags takes care of the decision itself.

          • I have that one too :) And the matching umbrella. And bracelet. I looove KS.

      • Agreed. I love kate spade. Love. I wish they’d add feet to the bottom of the purses, though. i hate having to put my pretty pretty purse directly on the ground.

      • SF Bay Associate :

        Me too. I seem to love everything she makes, especially her shoes. They are the best. I also love this bag, though I wish the handles were long enough to throw over the shoulder.

    • I want to like Kate Spade, but every time I look at the clothes on the site they seem to send off a weird 1950-60′s glamorous wife vibe. Like Betty Draper meets Jackie O. Am I making that up, or is that one of the reasons people like it so much?

      Nothing against Betty Draper/Jackie O, but if I am reading that correctly then yeah, I guess it won’t ever work for me. Cute bags, though.

    • Le Corbeau :

      Some of her things are nice, but I was in one of the stores this summer and was disappointed. Dismissive staff, and the racks were full of heavy, unattractive, WASP-matron clothes. It was like something out of an A.R. Gurney play.

      • I like a good play, but i had to look up A.R. Gurney as that reference meant nothing to me. And Wiki says his plays generally focus on “WASPs of the American Northeast” — given your above comment that seems very apropos (and funny). Thanks!

    • I also love Kate Spade. Bags, jewelry, clothes, and especially the shoes! I like that the line, which does color amazingly well, is vintage meets modern. I posted on KS shoes Deb Wedges that I have been oogling over, on Monday!

      http://theonlineshopper.blogspot.com/2011/08/wear-it-to-work-monday-kate-spade-deb.html

  2. I was just oogling over this very bag – I love it and the color, but have decided to take a shopping respite. I did, however, receive a coupon code from Kate Spade for 20% off a full-priced handbag – use FALLBAG11 at checkout!

  3. I love this. Very pretty. Teal is such an unusual color for something like this, but I think it looks great and is a nice switch from the normal black or brown.

  4. A friend of mine has this, or something almost identical to it, in white and I looove it.

  5. This is kind of a similar idea to a three-piece suit (thinking about the Talbot’s suit that Kat posted) — it’s just a dress that’s all-in-one. I tend to like it, but wondered what you guys think: Is it too youthful looking, because it’s almost like a school uniform or something?

    http://www.jcrew.com/womens_feature/NewArrivals/suiting/PRDOVR~48492/48492.jsp

    • I could see why you gravitated towards it because it’s crisp and clean but I do think it’s a bit school uniform-ish.

    • I had an Ann Taylor dress that looked just like that back when I was right out of grad school. I loved it. I like this one, too, but it’s out of my price range.

    • Barrister in the Bayou :

      It looks a little young, but I think that’s due to the styling (i.e. solid colored button down, no accessories, plain hair and very plain shoes). I think if done up a little bit this has a lot of potential.

      • That makes sense. How would you style it?

        • hmm. a more interesting button down, something with a refined stripe? skip the shirt but wear a short blazer or sweater over it? platform heels? i somehow think if you wore your hair up and put heels on it would kick it up a bit.

          i had a very similar dress that i used to wear with a plain white button down. it looked fine but i was 23 at the time.

        • Barrister in the Bayou :

          Maybe the gray dress would work better? You could wear either with a pattern that is brighter and/or bolder and offers more of a contrast. I think I have a button down or two that were fabulous in the store, but when I got home I thought they would be too loud to wear without a blazer all day; I think a shirt like that would work.

          I’m also thinking a belt would look nice with this dress as well and some bright heels.

      • Formerly Preggo Angie :

        Barrister – had a great trip to your area, although it was hotter than h3ll!!! Still dreaming of Cafe du Monde…

        • Barrister in the Bayou :

          I love living down here! To be honest, I prefer hotter than hades to snow, so I’ve just found a way to work around it (former Jersey girl here). There was one December where I was walking around the French Quarter in a tank top!

          And yes, Cafe du Monde is flippin’ magical. Try to come back when the kids are a little older, I bet the whole family would enjoy some of the larger music festivals or even Mardi Gras… Just to clear up a common misconception: most of Mardi Gras is actually very family friendly. It tends to get somewhat questionable at night and when you’re close to the Quarter; other than that all you see during Mardi Gras is a bunch of kids having fun and getting more beads and stuffed animals than they can handle.

          • SF Bay Associate :

            I visit nola almost every year – my favorite city outside of SF, bar none. The food, the music, the art, the people – wonderful.

            Barrister, have you found it easy enough to break into the nola legal field? From what I understand, it’s a pretty insular, southern, christian, good-old-boys network simply based on who has been practicing there historically, which is hard on non-southern people, non-christian-church attendees, and women. I don’t mean to simply be perpetuating stereotypes about the south, but that is what I understand from friends in LA. Would you agree, or has that not been your experience as a former outsider? My SO has ties to the area, so we semi-flirt with the idea of moving there someday, but I’m totally unconvinced I could fit in.

    • Yeah…sort of reminds me of a school uniform.

    • Taco Lover :

      I never understand all-in-one dresses. I’d rather have two pieces that I can wear as separates and style differently than just one piece that I can only wear one way.

      I do like the look of a button-down under a sheath dress, though.

      • Taco Lover :

        Oh wait, now I clicked on another picture and I see the shirt isn’t actually attached to it. I like the dress on its own.

        • Yeah whoops, by “all-in-one” I meant vest attached to skirt kinda thing.

          • Oh, ok. I also thought that the buttondown and dress were attached together. Yes, I like the dress (vest/skirt?) on its own. With the button down, reminds me of a private school uniform.

    • With the buttondown it looks like a uniform, but on its own I really like it.

    • I love this, though, as suggested, I would style it to make it look more grown-up. I hate having to deal with dry-cleaning/ironing button-ups, so I hesitate to pull the trigger on this.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Cute, minus the stupid boob pockets. Better to get a skirt and vest so you can mix and match more frequently.

    • Pride of the Sixth Form :

      I love it. You might want to temper it with a jacket, but if you can carry it off, go ahead. One reason I resent Talbots is that I attended private school on a scholarship. I would always see catalogs lying around and to me it was a preppy aspirational brand. Imagine my surprise upon realizing the clothes aren’t very nice. Maybe the line has gone downhill since my school days, I don’t know.

      I don’t care about trends, but vests seem to be making a reappearance.

  6. I love the style of this (teal crocodile-embossed patent leather? Be still my heart), but I can’t help but think this would be hugely impractical in day-to-day life (at least for me) because there is no shoulder strap option and there’s no way to close the bag.

  7. I have the matching wallet in this color; it’s a lovely color and stands out amongst the rest of the stuff in the bag.

  8. Gorgeous, just gorgeous.

  9. Beautiful, but way out of my price range.

    I thought that you gals would get a kick out of this article from Above the Law (I know, I really shouldn’t read that crap) about the website of a young, solo female attorney, and particularly the pictures that she chose to use on it: http://abovethelaw.com/2011/08/solo-practitioner-fighting-injustice-in-cute-outfits/

    • WOW.

      I also love that she has a “Make Payment” tab, so that you can pay her via Paypal. That can’t be normal.

    • I saw it too…hysterical!

    • I think the one on the escalator where she’s in white is the funniest.

    • Oh my word. I like color, but the lacy, cleavage-baring top on her “about” page would get her thrown out of court in many places. I suspect she’s hoping her clients select an attorney based not only on resume.

    • I actually found the personal attacks to another female attorney on such a broad scale to be deplorable. With the exception of the lacy top, which is not even low cut, I don’t find her outfits to be inappropriate.

      I’d rather see someone who puts this much effort into her appearance than someone who doesn’t care. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen attorneys come to court in sweatpants, (yes, sweatpants) and think it is acceptable.

      But really, how would any of you feel if you were personally attacked on ATL?

      • ATL’s stance is that if you put it online, it’s fair game. I tend to agree, especially when you attach your name and face to what you put online. This entire blog is about making sure the image you project is the one you want. Her outfits are probably not too inappropriate (cute white dress!) but the photoshoot in general looks silly and unprofessional. This is the reason none of us put pictures of ourselves in bikinis on public facebook pages, for example. Sure, ATL is extra snarky sometimes, but so is the world in general. Maybe they shouldn’t be so judgmental, but it’s your job to make sure you keep your online persona professional and boring.

      • I used to have nightmares about ending up on ATL somehow. My law school had a completely tongue-in-cheek “hottest 3L” competition (nominations would be based on really nerdy criteria, like one’s con law expertise), for which I was nominated as a joke by my journal staff when I was editor-in-chief. It would have been cute and funny, except that I was terrified that ATL would pick it up and my appearance and personal accomplishments would be shredded by ATL.

        They did pick it up, but the next year. So I was spared.

      • I don’t know, she’s out there, doing her thang and looking good. No hate from me

  10. Wow. Just . . . wow.

    She even looks like Alicia Silverstone in her “about” picture. Apparently I missed the “fashionista” section of our legal ethics class in law school. To think how much more fun I could’ve had . . .

  11. I for one have been obsessing over this bag that Kat linked to in her fb article recommendations: http://www.refinery29.com/12-work-bags-for-women/slideshow#slide-1

    Anyone else find it just as droolworthy? I’m two steps from using that 20% off coupon that Selia above shared!

  12. What makes “cajun toffee” a different color than regular toffee? And what does “cajun toffee” taste like – does it have Old Bay in it?

  13. Party Animal Part 2 :

    If people have workplace birthday parties, are people expected to contribute money to getting all the guests of honor gifts? Some of these gifts are in the $50+ range depending on the individual involved. Initially our parties were just having some cake and ice cream for 10 minutes of the day and now they’ve evolved into full-on bashes with expensive party favors and gifts.

  14. I am a Miami girl who is heading to San Francisco in September for a week long vacation. I do not own a jacket (other than suit jackets) and think I will need one for my trip. I was thinking of getting a traditional belted trench coat. Is this appropriate to wear out in the evenings with cocktail attire? I have no idea and would appreciate any feedback.

  15. Threadjack: I’m entering law school in the fall and my first firm reception is next week. I hear the men are wearing suits. The dress code (I’ve heard) ranges from everything from business casual to cocktail attire.

    How would a black pencil skirt with a belted wrap top be? I’ll bring a matching blazer just in case everyone’s in suits. I figure that the lawyers will be coming straight from work so it won’t make me look out of place.

  16. Blonde Lawyer :

    Any tips on dealing with a spouse that works normal hours when you work long hours? My husband gets out of work at 4:00 every day. Even though I’m in law (obviously from my moniker) I am usually out of work by 7. I live near the office so I’m always home for dinner though sometimes not until 8 or 8:30 if I have errands to run after work. My husband cooks so it doesn’t force us to eat late or anything. But . . . he would love me to be home earlier.

    Often, he will call me and say, want to meet for a drink after work? And I’ll say, sure, see you at 7. And he’ll say, never mind, that’s too late. I’m sure there are a ton of other examples but you catch my drift. How do y’all deal with the mopey lonely spouse? I guess I should just be flattered he wants more time with me.

    • I used to be in this same exact predicament (except I was the mopey lonely gf who got out of work much earlier). I dealt with it by either: going to yoga class; shopping; errands; or surfing the net until my S.O. got out of work. Moping around rarely helped. I’d have hubs find a hobby or squeeze in gym time (or a movie) before you get home.

    • Maddie Ross :

      Ugh, I can sorta relate, but don’t have any great remedies. My husband, though also a lawyer, is in a small firm and never (ever) has to work weekends. He also tends to leave the house about an hour after me each morning (though at least that means we get home about the same time at night). Every time I have to work a weekend, he complains and gets pouty, begging me to stay home, telling me that it honestly can’t be that important and “it will be there Monday.” Sigh. I wish I could skip work that easily on the weekends. So no advice, but commiseration. I would obviously rather be home with him than in the office. I think he gets that as time goes on, but it doesn’t make the episodes easier to deal with.

    • i have no creative solutions. my SO has an easier schedule than I do but he’s also better at entertaining himself if home alone.

      Do you guys have a Date Night? or something less formal, like thai food + movie every Thursday or something? sounds silly but at least that way we *know* we’ll have some quality time together during the week, and something to look forward to if one of us is sitting around waiting.

    • He needs a hobby. Maybe an after-work exercise class?

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        He does go to the gym after work each day but is still home by 5.

        • Lucky man!

          Seriously, I can’t imagine being so extroverted that if I found myself with two hours alone every day I’d call up someone and beg them to hang out. I’d probably lay down in my bed in the starfish position and exult in the fact that it’s MINE ALL MINE.

          But maybe he could take a cooking class and start working on some fancy dinners? Cook his way through Mastering the Art of French Cooking? That way he isn’t bored, and you get some fancy dinners. Win-win!

          • I was going to say I get home at 6 and my bf gets home at 8 and i love those hours. those are my clean/face mask/bad tv hours

          • I get home around 6 or 6:30 and H gets home at about 9:30. I love those hours to myself, as well. I never feel guilty about a happy hour that runs long and I always have time to do laundry, clean the house, make dinner, watch terrible reality TV… in peace and quiet. I love H… but I love those hours too :)

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I think what complicates it is I’m really bad at guessing when I can leave work. I can leave when my work is done. So since he normally is the cook, he likes to know when I will expect to be home so he can plan accordingly. Just the other night I said “tonight I’m leaving at 6.” That was around 4. Then, I didn’t finish what I was doing until 7.

      The night before he asked at lunch if I wanted to go out for dinner and I said no because I thought I was working late but then at 6 I had everything done so I called and we went. He just doesn’t “get” that I can’t accurately know when I can leave work.

      • can you do any work from home? or is it a matter of managing upward? if you can, IMO it’s worth it to sometimes bring the laptop home and work at night so we can have dinner together at, say, 730. Important to me/us.

        if not, unfortunately you have to come to some sort of understanding about your lack of control over schedule .. and, on days when you KNOW you can get out (i.e. Partner on vacation, or whatever) make the extra-special effort to get outta there early and spend time together.

        My two cents.

      • i hate posting too quickly!!!

        here is the short version: Ive been on both sides of this. when you say youre gonna leave at 6 (or whatever), really do it (take work home etc). It sucks to cook for someone and have them not get home and the food gets cold and you feel let down. but hopefully if you make it home more often when you say you will — and try to be realistic — then hopefully he will be less pouty on the other stuff. you give a little, he gives a little.

        • I agree with this. Yes, things will sometimes come up that are hard to predict, but for the most part it sounds like you just need to be better at managing your time and knowing how long it take you to do X. Figure out what it is that causes you to mis-estimate your own time and try to plan for it.

      • Can you have a standing dinner date at, say, 8pm? There’s no reason you have to eat at the precise moment you arrive home from work, so if you get home early you can just hang out while he cooks. It sounds like you’re almost always home by 8, so it’d be rare that you have to bail on him (or you could take work home).

      • I’m in a similar situation – BF gets off everyday at 4:30 no exceptions (yes, I’m jealous!). While I do the actual cooking, he’ll do a lot of the prep work, etc and usually likes to have it all ready when I walk through the door. Wasn’t working for awhile but finally realized that my commute (I’m in DC so it takes awhile) was just about the right amount of time he needed. Maybe this could work for you? I’ll do a quick email as I’m walking out of the building.

        That or get him a new electronic something. Seems to keep most guys distracted for hours!

    • When I was working really late, sometimes I’d just compromise by leaving work a little earlier to eat dinner out and then I’d finish reading transcripts or whatever at home.

  17. Golden Gate Girl :

    Hello Hive Mind,

    Trying to relocate to the Bay Area for personal reasons (husband is being transferred there, and I would like to move too).

    I would love to know anything that you know about smaller, boutique consulting firms there. Any recommendations for legit companies to check out? I currently work for a “Big Five” consulting firm, but an internal transfer seems very unlikely at this point, so I am trying to broaden my search. Working for a large company has its advantages, but I’m thinking I’d like to try out a smaller, more unique, more boutique firm (rather than trying to get into another similarly large company).

    As for where I am in my career, I have a Master’s degree and about 2 years work experience, so I am still pretty versatile/not very specialized and could probably still work in most industries (save for very technical IT/medical/science ones). Really, I’m just looking for recommendations of anywhere to check out, and I am open to all ideas. I’d really love to send off some applications, but I have no idea where to even begin.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Have you looked at McKesson? They have a huge office in downtown SF, and their GC/top women seem heavily involved in women-mentoring events I’ve gone to. It seems, at least from what I can tell, to be family and female friendly. Even if you’re not focused on work-life balance, it can also be really nice to work at a place that supports that.

      • Golden Gate Girl :

        Thanks for the lead. I will keep it on my short list. I took a perusal through their CA job listings and most seem to be more specialized positions in the healthcare/pharmaceutical industry. I am looking more for consulting opportunities or enty level business analyst type positions at boutique consulting/analysis/market research firms, but you never know- one could pop up at a corporation like that. It’s at least something to keep in mind.

        But these are the kinds of ideas I am looking for regardless, just because I really have no idea about the area at all (lived mostly on the East Coast for the last 6-7 years).

        • If you have the interest in/skillset for economic consulting, I enjoyed my pre-grad school career at The Brattle Group. While I was there, it was voted one of the best small companies to work for. The work is heavy on the data analysis and econometrics, which may or may not be what you’re looking for. The SF office is pretty small (about 15 consultants).

    • karenpadi :

      I have no real recommendations for you…

      Just want to say Welcome to the Bay Area!

      • Golden Gate Girl :

        Thanks! Not there yet, though… if I can’t find a job in the next 2-4 months (before our move), I may bide my time a bit on the East Coast and stay at my current job, but sure hope I can find one so that I can move with my husband. Being apart is awful.

    • Are you sure they won’t let you internally transfer? I was in your situation recently and they didn’t care as long as I was near an airport. I might internally transfer first and then look for a job out there because it’s easier to find a job that way. Also, the benefit of that is that you can always use travel as your excuse for wanting a new position and everyone understands.

      • Golden Gate Girl :

        The problem is less the transfer per se and more than our share of projects in the Bay Area is VERY small and limited mostly to more advanced healthcare/IT systems development work, neither of which I am remotely qualified for. If I can find a project out there I’m qualified for, the transfer will be easy, but I can’t go without a project/billable work, if that makes sense.

        I’ve been internally networking/following our project lists/in contact with recruiters and HR managers for about 4-5 months now and have no solid leads for billable work out there, so unfortunately I’m beginning to have to consider other options. Truthfully I am nervous about moving without a job, just because the economy is awful in general and I am still relatively junior. I hope something comes up internally with my company, but I also think I have to be realistic at this point and start at least poking my head around elsewhere.

    • Marakon is hiring.

      • Golden Gate Girl :

        Do you have any information on that? I just checked their website and it says that they are not hiring experienced professionals in any US locations. It seems they focus their post grad recruiting on a few schools. Any tips or inside info?

  18. Ladies, please help!

    I am interviewing for an associate position tomorrow at a mid-size firm (approximately 150 attorneys over 7 offices). I had advised the office manager that I would be leaving the interview and immediately heading to the airport for a weekend family function (so she knew I had to leave by 4pm), and she has now requested that I wear casual attire so that I am comfortable on my flight. What would you wear to this interview?

    • That’s very nice of her. Thank her but I would wear a suit anyway. Change at the airport. Score one for a seemingly nice office vibe, though.

    • If you are meeting attorneys, I would wear a suit (even though she said to wear casual attire). You don’t want to explain to each person you meet that you were instructed to wear casual attire. It would seem odd also to be wearing casual attire without providing an explanation. I think even business casual would be a mistake. If your interview schedule includes meeting the office manager, I would just thank her for thinking of you, but you thought you would be fine on the plane in a suit. (Or if you wear a pants suit, say thanks for thinking of me, so I decided to wear a pants suit instead of a skirt suit today).

  19. Hey, can I ask a weird question?

    Do you review companies on yelp, and if so have you ever had any consequences of placing a (truthful) negative review?

    I reviewed a service provider with a one-star rating, which was consistent with ~80% of her other ratings, and now she has sent me increasingly crazy emails demanding that I not only remove my negative review, but replace it with a positive one, or she will sue me. Or in her words, “ask a judge to decide.”

    Judging from her emails she’s bananas, but I don’t want the hassle of actually having to appear in court, much less hire an attorney.

    Is it at all possible for her to even bring suit?

    Thanks in advance for any advice. I should be able to brush this aside with an, “Eh, crazy people. What are you gonna do?” but it really is bugging me.

    • Don’t worry about it!

    • she’s nutty, she can’t do anything legally, and you should a) forward her emails to Yelp to let them know this is happening – they would definitely want to know and b) maybe even post another/an addendum to your original review, so that other people are aware of it, too.

      Ok maybe b) is too much, but definitely tell Yelp. And then tag her email address as spam/block the address and then forget about it.

    • CA lawyer :

      It’s pretty easy for anyone to file a lawsuit. Yelp might be able to provide some guidance on dealing with crazy.

    • I’d report her to yelp, as the others suggest, and maybe also the BBB

      • Thank you, everyone. I did report this to yelp following their “contact us” guidelines, but I got an automated response telling me that they might get back to me in a week.

        I appreciate everyone telling me to not worry. I am worrying and then I get mad at myself for worrying!

    • How does she know who you are? And how’d she get your email address? I’d report this to Yelp immediately.

      I had a business provider contact me via Yelp’s messaging system asking me to provide more information because they disagreed with my review, but that’s the only time anything even remotely negative has happened to me.

      • ep – she’s a pet sitter and doesn’t have many clients. Plus yelp lists first name last initial. I had no reason to use a false name – all my other reivews have been positive.

        • Weirdly, the negative review I mentioned above was also for a pet sitter, in the DC area.

          • Reaching back into the recesses of my memory of Barbri classes, truth is a defense to libel, no?

          • As my new petsitter says, a lot of people choose to work with animals because they can’t work with people. :)

            I did tell the truth in my review and she doesn’t dispute that. She wants me to tell the positive things about her work, like how she came back to search for my cat after she let him get out. And then demanded another visits’ payment for that.

          • @mamabear – OMG, if someone let my cat get out I’d be murderous. Literally seething with rage. If all you did was post a negative review on Yelp she should thank you.

            I hope your kitty is home safe and sound.

          • Yes, Eponine, she found my kitty (thankfully!) for which, apparently, she would like a medal. Maybe a commemorative coin or a parade.

  20. So today I started reading The Partnership on my kindle. It’s a thriller set at a Big Law firm. What I’m really enjoying, though, is the insight on Big Law firms. I just learned what golden handcuffs are.

    I’m not a lawyer, but most of you guys are and now I’ve got a better idea of what you all went through.

    • Only $2.99 on Kindle – snagged! Thanks for the rec. (I’m a lawyer but have never worked in Big Law, though many of my friends do, so it’s an interesting milieu for me.)

  21. Anyone know the dimensions on this bag (please tell me it’ll fit an 8 1/2 by 11 notebook)? I called Kate Spade and they couldn’t find the info, which strikes me as very odd. Anyways, if any of you have it, let me know, because I was already eyeing this color, which I ADORE, and am seriously tempted…

    • The Bloomie’s link that Kat posted includes the dimensions. 12 3/4″W x 9″H x 4″D. 4″ strap drop.

      I am drooling over the Jackson and the Helena bags in this collection, myself…

  22. Just need to vent for a minute.

    I hate dealing with really stressful family situations when I have a firm deadline the next day. Really want to go home and have a glass of wine and try to forget about everything instead of forcing myself to focus (rather ineffectively) on the task at hand.

    That’s all. Back to work…

    • Anonymous :

      hang in there! you will get through both work and life dramas and be proud of yourself. think things through, but let yourself do or fix one thing at a time, with whatever breathers you can afford timewise in between tasks– stand up and touch your toes, crack your knuckles, apply lip balm, walk to the vending machine or coffee bar… then back to the next task. you can do it!

  23. Hi ladies, I’m a long time reader but this is my first time posting. I need some advice on dealing with a coworker who basically got the job through connections. She’s great at small talk and networking but it just irritates me so much that shes’s always trying to brown nose, or so it seems. I’m all for meeting new people, especially since we both started about a month ago. Our titles are exactly the same and we are on the same team. But because she’s always chatting up other people in Hebrew, she ends up getting more projects and exposure. I do volunteer myself for work but I end up being told to just help out my coworker. But the truth is that she has no idea what to do. Once, she asked me how to copy and paste data into excel as well as un-hide cells. We work at a finance firm where knowledge of excel is a very basic requirement. I guess I’m just frustrated over the fact that she acts all friendly and nice when she needs me, but when there are higher ups, she just chats in Hebrew to block me off and I’ve noticed recently she ignores me completely.

    Apologies for the long rant. I know there will always be someone at work we don’t like but I hate feeling like I’m getting chosen over just because I don’t have race in common with some people.

    • If I were you, I’d be pleasant because if she’s chatty and you’re rude or unhelpful, others will hear about it.

    • Keep in mind that you’ve just been there a month and all they have to go on at this point is your personalities. Yes, she’s at an advantage that she can chat in Hebrew, but once management has time to see more of your respective work products, they’ll probably notice yours is better than hers. I also don’t think there’s anything wrong with suggesting that the conversation be in the language that everyone uses at work if you’re in a group situation discussing work and she suddenly starts switching into Hebrew to block you off.

    • I would counsel you to be very, very patient and not to let your resentment show, at all. Try to look at the situation objectively: she has connections, and gets assignments. You don’t. To me, it seems like maybe you should be spending your time trying befriend her/get on her good side so that the two of you are perceived as a team, especially since you’re at the same level. Work on developing relationships with everybody at the office, which is what she’s doing so effectively (although maybe not as fairly?). If she was doing the same sort of schmoozing in English, would you still think it’s unfair? It sounds like you need to step up your game in the soft skills arena.

      Eventually, crunch time will appear and someone (or everyone) will notice who is completing the work. You go on vacation or an extended meeting and she has to get something out quick and she may not be able to. Focus on your job function, what can be done to improve workflow processes (if any) and complete the routine assignments ahead of schedule. Let your work speak for you.

    • Little Lurker :

      Hey Ess, I don’t know if you’re still checking replies, but I felt this needs to be said.

      You mention that she chats in Hebrew, so I’m guessing she’s Israeli. Just so you know, this behavior is VERY common among Israeli ex-pats, and a lot of Americans not fluent in Hebrew find it really annoying. I’m fluent in Hebrew and I’d find it annoying too.

      Just make sure she’s actually ignoring you before you write her off entirely: ex-pats are often so relieved to see someone who knows their language that they just start blurting out things in their native tongue. Especially if she’s new and confused about things. Remember the last time you travelled somewhere where they didn’t speak English? Multiply that feeling!

      If your industry is full of Israelis AND you want to make friends: ask her, on your break, the words for some basic terminology in Hebrew. It’ll make her day and one day the knowledge will come in handy.

      Also, definitely work on your soft skills. There’ll never be a time when knowing how to network will hurt you.

      PS Unless you’re actually visibly different skin colors, what you don’t have in common with her is a language and a culture, not a race. Just so you know.

  24. maybe moving :

    Any experience/recommendations of recruiters to use for a job search in Asia (US lawyer, hoping to move to Hong Kong or Singapore)?

    • Pacific Bridge (pacificbridge.com) – not sure if it does legal or just corporate

      They are both fantastic places to live. If you head to HK, prepare to be surrounded with transplanted English lawyers (barristers?) busy mangling the local language and getting drunk at the Rugby/Yacht/Cricket Club.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I don’t but my husband grew up as an ex-pat American in Singapore. If you need other advice feel free to post again and I will pass the question along.

  25. Formerexpat :

    No advice, just want to say both are fabulous places to live!!!
    Good luck!

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