Splurge Tuesday’s TPS Report: Printed Wrapped Waist Silk Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Issa Printed Wrapped Waist Silk DressWow: love this multiprink silk dress from Issa, available at MyTheresa. The blues, purples, and reds — along with what looks like several animal prints and at least one geometric print — all make for such a crazy dress that it’s too fun not to love. For the office, I’m particularly fond of the subdued neckline and elbow-length sleeves, as well as the sash detail at the waist. It was $635, but is now marked to $385 (limited sizes only, alas). Issa Printed Wrapped Waist Silk Dress

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Comments

  1. $400 for RAYON? Marked down from $600? Shame on Issa.

    Also, this looks like a minidress. Way too short for work (and I’m 5’4″).

    Gorgeous print though.

    • Diana Barry :

      Ditto, too short. I do like the print, but worry that prints like that would stand out too much for you to wear it often. (I have a wrap dress from Boden in a loud print that I almost never wear bc of that.)

    • The website says the model is 5’10″. At 5’9″, I’d have to shrink lots to be able to wear this to work!

    • Why does it say silk in the title if it is 100% rayon?

  2. I love this dress and that it’s styled with blue shoes. It’s probably longer on a non-model body. Still a lot for rayon.

  3. I kind of love it and want it now. And I’m glad it’s rayon — more durable than silk.

  4. This is way to expensive for my taste’s! FOOEY!

  5. Litigatrix :

    Ladies, I need some encouragement and help from the hive! I am a 2nd year associate in a small firm and need to get out (I am not being paid my worth and want better opportunities). There is a great job opening and I want to apply for it but I am having the worst time coming up with a great cover letter. I had a great one that I used in law school, but now that I have been practicing, I need to completely change it up. Can anyone suggest some resources or examples? Plus, can you still submit a writing sample from law school?

    Thank you! :)

    • Have you ever been to askamanager.org? It is a great blog and she gives lots of good cover-letter advice!

    • I wouldn’t submit a WS from law school because it suggests you haven’t done anything more important since LS. I would make an exception if it’s particularly on point to the job (e.g., a law review Comment directly relevant to the practice area) – but even in that instance, I would probably send along a brief second and more recent writing sample.

    • We have been looking for a new 3rd-5th year associate at my mid-sized firm. We immediately toss anyone whose cover letter looks like one from law school and same with anyone who provides a writing sample from law school. To us, that shows that either they haven’t done any substantive work in 3-5 years or they can’t be bothered to spend 10 minutes to put together their application packet. Either way, not a good fit for a detail-oriented position.

      Is there a reason you don’t want to submit a current writing sample?

      As for the cover letter, you should explain what sorts of litigation (I assume litigation, given your moniker) experience you have gained in 2 years, what skill sets you have developed, etc. A firm is likely not interested in your law school achievements anymore.

      • anon for this one :

        I’m embarrassed to ask this, but in what city is your mid-sized firm? I know of someone who is looking.

        • agreed. I have a friend who recently graduated Stetson in search of a firm.

          • Litigatrix :

            Thank you everyone for your suggestions! :) I am cery grateful for the guidance- I think I am just overwhelmed and nervous about jumping ship. I was hopeful that I would want to stay at my current firm for a few more years, but alas, this is not the case.

            I have other options (motions, etc.) for a more current writing sample, but will need some time to pull them together and the job posting is closing in just a few days. I am already probably behind many other applications (it is a desirable position). My boss must have a 6th sense that I am looking and needing to apply, because I have been deluged with work, even in the evenings and have not been able to work on my application! Argh! :)

          • You need more than a few days to gather a writing sample?

        • DC Mid Law :

          My mid-size firm in DC is looking for an mid-level energy associate; I can point people towards it if interested.

          • Litigatrix :

            Hel-l0, yes it does when you work 12+ hour days and are managing a family to boot. I want to put some thought into what I select for a sample.

          • anon for this one :

            Thank you. My friend is interested.

    • related question on writing samples: if you’re looking for a new job, what’s the rules on using a writing sample from your current job? Normally I would put “redacted and used with permission of firm XYZ,” but what if I don’t want firm XYZ to know I’m looking for a new job?

      • Amelia Bedelia :

        I pulled a relevant section I wanted to use from a larger brief. I redacted all identifying information and changed some of the facts. Then I noted in my cover letter that I attached, as a writing sample, a portion of XX kind of brief. blah, blah, blah. It worked well for me.

        I then did the same thing on a client advice memo — and put a description in my cover letter.

        • Am I missing something? If you’ve filed a brief or a motion then it’s public – you shouldn’t need to redact (unless for space reasons). I understand redacting on an internal memo, etc.

          • Although it is public record if it has been filed with the court, that doesn’t mean practically speaking that anyone knows what’s going on with your clients’ lives or businesses or that they would like people to know. So just as a courtesy I usually change all names and maybe some facts slightly to preserve anonymity/privacy to the extent it still exists.

          • karenpadi :

            We also use publicly available writing samples. I would be curious as to why someone would change facts or names in a public document. Honestly, the changes would really trigger some big red flags.

            When submitting public documents, I appreciate it when the candidate notes the source of the public document. In patents, it’s usually a pdf of the published application (not the as-filed application) or a note stating that the document was downloaded from Public PAIR (the Patent Office’s document portal) on January nn, 2012.

          • What kind of “big red flags” would it trigger?

          • karenpadi :

            When I evaluate a candidate, I want to see their actual work product, produced for a client, on a budget. I don’t want to see a “polished” product–that’s what the cover letter is for. “fixing up” a writing sample, in this context, borders on dishonesty and lacking integrity.

            Plus, the documents are publicly available. They are not secret and there is no expectation that they be secret. Using a document you wrote to show to potential employers is not a big deal. I think most attorneys have enough discretion to view sensitive (if public) documents for the purpose it was given to them (evaluating a job candidate) without publishing it to Above The Law.

            In some instances, I will pull up the file history on a case to put the writing sample in context. I might have some questions about why things were done. If I have the unredacted copy, I can do this pretty easily.

            Plus, as a legal employer, and in the context of privilege, I want to be absolutely certain that the document I’m reading is, in fact, a public document. By changing facts or redacting details, I have no way of knowing this is not an earlier draft or an alternate draft or a privileged document. That makes me question how seriously the candidate views privilege and whether the candidate is dim enough to actually submit a privileged document to a potential employer.

      • I have submitted briefs I wrote and signed, which were filed with the court. I always use a file-stamped copy, so it’s clear it’s a public record. I don’t see any problem with doing that. It’s a little more difficult if you’re at the stage that your briefs are revised by someone higher up, and both names are on the signature block. In that situation, I explained that the brief was 90% my work product (or whatever, I tried to be very honest). I think I only had to do that once very early in my career, and as I recall, I did not get that job. It’s always better to use something that is 100% your work product.

        I have also used internal research memos, and in that case, always replace all names with generic names like ABC, Corp., and if necessary take out any other identifying information.

        • What if it’s not my name on the signature block? I have a motion I want to use that I drafted, partner made one or two tiny changes, but partner’s name goes on the motion? I don’t think I have a pre-revised version (we tend to just work in one word file rather than saving different drafts so the wrong version doesn’t get sent out. Had I realized I was going to use it for a writing sample, I would have saved my initial version elsewhere…) Should I just explain “this was 95% written by me with some revisions”?
          (I don’t have anything that’s not revised at least a little before it went out. I’m way junior)

  6. Oh.so.tired :

    Early Threadjack-

    Lately I’v enoticed that my mother has been feeling very down lately. She’s a lot more quiet and seems unhappy. She’s nearing 50, and I’m wondering whether this could be related to menopause or post-menopause. I’ve read on here about Hormone Replacement Therapy to combat post-menopause depression, and I think my mother could probably benefit from this. The problem is, she has no insurance and no regular ob/gyn. Can anyone recommend an ob/gyn in the Northern Virginia region? As well as offer insight into what the HRT process is like, what the cost might be, and cheaper (OTC or otherwise) alternatives to battle the depression?

    • If you want to read about HRT (and all else menopause-related), you might try “Our Bodies, Ourselves: Menopause.”

    • I’m the same age as your mom, and have been taking soy supplements as well as St. John’s Wort. I really believe it’s making a difference – not night-and-day-difference, but definitely taking the edge off my blue mood and occasional hot flashes. I hope she finds some relief from a simple solution like this; I’ve been very pleased. Both were recommended by my pharmacist.

      • Oooh, recs on the supplements you use? I used to be able to find soy supplements for my mom but they were discontinued. Bonus points for vegetarian/pescetarian supplements. Thanks!

        • I don’t have the bottle here and in Googling wasn’t able to determine if they are vegetarian. I use a product called SoyCare for Menopause, in a green box. The “e” in care swoops up into an arrow – I also found it on amazon. My pharmacist had it in a drawer behind her counter, not out on a shelf.

          • Dang, it has gelatin, as per drugstore.com’s description. Thanks for the rec!

      • Oh.so.tired :

        Thanks, Elizabeth. I’m going to go drop by a few drugstores and see if I can locate these. I hope it gives her some relief.

    • tip of the iceberg :

      Also seek a psychotherapist – which an ob/gyn should tell you to do anyway. Honestly, I would start there, from the mental/emotional health side. You don’t say anything about lifestyle changes or precipitating events, but looking for those is also worthwhile. There may be psych graduate student clinics that can help her if cost is an issue.

      Good luck to both of you. This could be a very long process, unfortunately.

      • so I’m 26, so I have no experience with horemone therapy, but as far as an ObGYN in NOVA, the office of Dr. Reiter Hill Johnson Nevin (i wont put a link in so i dont get moderated but they are the first google search if you search them) I’ve had good experiences at the Falls Church office.

    • Has this just been in the last few months? It could be seasonal. Is she in a cold climate, and getting outside enough during the day?

      • Oh.so.tired :

        I guess it could be seasonal – she certainly doesnt go out as much as she should. Because of the timing, I correaleated her depression with menopause. It’s been about 6 months that I’ve seen her like this, and I’m at a loss for what to do. Do you have any suggestions for combatting seasonal depression? Or any information you think I should know?

        • My best friend gets SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder, although it makes her sad) and she swears by those broad-spectrum lights sold to treat SAD. She uses hers a couple of hours a day in the wintertime. She also takes supplements – melatonin, Vitamin D, and a B-complex, as I recall.

          If you seek help for the menopause angle (which is a good idea – a couple of my friends are your mom’s age, and I cannot overestimate the effect the big M has had on their moods) and the OB/GYN is not much help, you might want to think about seeing a naturopath/alternative medicine practitioner (or Chinese medicine practitioner) to see if they can help. My friend went through several doctors before a doctor of osteopathy, who was also a naturopath, diagnosed her SAD.

  7. I like this print a lot and love the blue suede shoes pairing. I’m not sure how subdued the neckline would actually be on someone with a less subdued bust, but I think the length might be okay on someone of more average height (or, at least, on 5’3 me). But I do agree that rayon – even fancy rayon — is not worth the price here.

  8. Gorgeous pick, Kat! I’d buy a cheap knock-off of this (if it were longer) in a heartbeat!

  9. Looking for shirts for suits :

    Hivemind:

    I am looking for some shirts/tops for under suits for court. I have an extremely large chest, so button downs are out. For reference, I usually need an XL. I have been searching for 3-4 months and can’t seem to find any tops with sleeves that are not either too frilly or that are dressy enough to go underneath a suit.

    Any suggestions would be much appreciated!

    • I’m usually a small, but busty. I like August Silk shells. They have a namesake website, but I usually buy mine at Macys or Marshalls/TJ Maxx. I have sleeveless and short sleeve styles. They’re not the greatest quality, but they’re fairly cheap, very comfortable and professional looking.

      Because my upper body is bigger relative to my bottom half I like that these are thin and simple. I don’t to wear bulky fabrics or ruffles up top.

      • Looking for shirts for suits :

        Funny you should mention them… August Silk is so far the only brand I have found that really works and holds up over time!. Thanks for the suggestion, Red.

    • I have H cup breasts. I like silk knit shells, or woven ones with some spandex woven in for stretch. I have several silk tees from Ann Taylor, which are great. They stretch a little and have a slight cowl, which flatters my body type. For knit shells, August Silk is a good brand (available at Macy’s), and Land’s End also tends to have what I’d call short-sleeved sweaters that work well under a suit.

    • North Shore :

      I’m in a cold climate, so I like short-sleeved cashmere sweaters. They go on sale at Lord & Taylor with some regularity, look nice with a suit, and don’t need to be tucked. In my opinion, they are nice enough for court (I wore one to a fed app argument, even), though some might disagree.

      • Anastasia :

        Thanks! There are several colors on sale now … shells and short sleeves marked down to $39 and $49 respectively, and long sleeve pullovers and cardigans for $59.

        Can you comment on sizing?

    • I am also very busy and teeter on the plus-size on top. If I buy a women’s button down rather than misses’, Land’s End button-downs work for me. They also have great sweaters, as the poster above stated.

      Talbots usually has some nice short-sleeved blouses, especially in the spring/summer/fall seasons, which means there are good ones on sale now.

      I’ve also had success at Coldwater Creek.

      • I got a catalog from Talbot’s a few weeks ago with some great sale prices on long-sleeved tees with embellishments (subtle ruffles, etc.) that would look great under suits, and have high-enough necklines to be work-appropriate on the more-end0wed-than-me.

    • I like the AT Cowl Neck Cap Sleeve tops. It looks the they are polyester this season, but sometimes they come in silk and those are the best.

  10. I bought the Jcrew lady coat in size 6 and am really annoyed that it’s too tight for me. I’m normally a size 4, but it looks like I should have gone up two sizes.

    My question is – are the coats truly final sale? I really want to return or exchange the coat for a bigger size.

    Finally, if anyone is in a similar boat and wants to do an even exchange, please let me know. I bought the lady coat in majestic purple (more like royal blue), size 6, $175.

    TIA!

    • On more than one occasion, I have requested that J.Crew make an exception to their final sale policy and allow me to return something if I believe it is SNAD. They’ve always allowed it.

      • I had to google SNAD, and cracked up laughing at the first definition that came up from Urban Dictionary. Hopefully you meant Significantly Not As Described, but if you meant the other one, points for hilarity.

    • I think they’d be willing to let you do an exchange. I agree that the Lady Day coat runs small – it is definitely not for anyone with an above-average bust.

    • If there is a store by you, they will usually give you an exchange for what you paid. Say you shop there all the time, have many coats in size 4 and be pleasant.

  11. For the shorties :

    My DH is on the shorter side, about 5’6. He has the hardest time finding non-work shirts to wear to go out because the shirts are really long and make him look any shorter. Anyone know of men’s stores that cater to shorter guys? Or can you recommend brands that work? We haven’t had good luck with Banana as of late. Thanks!

    • My S.O. is a similar size. He never wears button downs casually because he hates how they look hanging down or tucked into jeans. Instead, he usually wears sweaters, sweatshirts, or polo shirts. His go-to brands are J.Crew (he’s not skinny, but their smalls and slim fits work well on him), Urban Outfitters, Brooklyn Industries, and Uniqlo and Top Shop in NYC.

      Now that I’m writing this out, it seems that he wears brands that are slimmer/skinnier than average. He has very broad shoulders but he’s short (like Mark Wahlberg, at least in my dreams), so perhaps the slim fits can double as short fits?

    • Research, Not Law :

      My husband’s the same height, broad/boxy build. He’s mainly a t-shirt or sweater guy outside of work. He doesn’t have much of a problem and doesn’t shop anywhere special. Honestly, most of his clothing comes from JC Penny via his mother (LOL, that makes him sound 22) or circa 1995. He has a sizable collection of t-shirts from travel, bands, and quirky finds. Most are random brands, but several are American Apparel. He has to size up since they run trim, but they fit well.

      If he wears a button-down outside of work, he still tucks. The exceptions are his flannel work shirts. I just bought him some new ones at Lands End (not Canvas, the regular store) and they fit him perfectly. They would actually be too short on someone 5’9” or so. Their other button-downs may be the same. (Although, if your husband likes flannel, I highly recommend. My husband has worn them like crazy).

      • This is helpful, thanks. DH has very broad shoulders as well. He loves flannel, so I will definitely check out Lands End. If you have a link to a specific shirt, please share – thanks!

        • My DH is about 5’8 and likes the more casual Lands End button downs as well. His are from last season, so I don’t have a link.

        • Research, Not Law :

          Here it is – and on sale!
          http://www.landsend.com/pp/mens-long-sleeve-flannel-buttondown-shirt~202399_59.html

          These are literally his go-to since I got them two months ago. Now I understand the reviews saying that they own them in every color and am strongly considering getting a couple more. First I was thrown because they were thinner and brighter than I expected, but my husband was happy and they have held up beautifully – been washed at least six times already. They are very soft.

        • I bought all the men in my life (bf, brothers, Dad) those shirts for Christmas. Grab some more – it’s a fantastic sale price.

    • Baby DC Attorney :

      My 5’7″ fiance LOVES the shirts from a store called Hugh & Crye. In particular, he loves that they offer a more tailored fit – he was getting annoyed at how blousey his dress shirts were when he would tuck them in for work. I know they’re not cheap, but they have sales pretty regularly and they’re really great quality.

  12. Question for my husband that I know someone out there will have some insight about:

    He wears suits 5 days per week and Brooks Brothers has been his go-to for years. Recently they changed the fit on the suit pants he usually buys to have a much lower rise. This won’t work for DH because he is very long waisted with average length legs and the low rise is not as comfortable and makes his legs look stumpy.

    Where do the men in your life shop for suits of quality comparable to BB? With regular-rise pants? Any ideas greatly appreciated!

    • Not as nice as BB, but Jos A Bank often has some great suiting options.

    • Try Nordstroms. They have a ton of nice quality stuff for men (I think their house brand is a particularly good deal, but they also have other stuff). I also find their on floor customer service to be really outstanding for me, while it was at times very average in the women’s department.

    • I got my hubby a great Calvin Klein suit from their outlet store that has held up great for several years and was under $300. Might be worth a look!

  13. Can anyone tell me how Ann Taylor pumps fit? I need to order some black pumps for a funeral, and I’m not going to have time to go by the store and try any on in the next few days, and they don’t have the style I want at my store anyway. I’m looking at the Perfect Leather Kitten Heel pumps. I have kind of a wide toe box, but a narrow heel, so shoes that run narrow just don’t work on me, but wides are usually too wide in the heel. I generally wear an 8 or an 81/2 medium, depending on how they run in size. Thanks for any help.

    • I love the Ann Taylor kitten heels. I have pretty narrow feet but not narrow enough to buy narrow widths. So I usually gravitate toward shoes that run slightly narrow in regular width. I’d put these in that category.

      • Thanks, sounds like they won’t fit me. I used to try Ecco shoes on all the time, thinking eventually I would find a pair that fit, but they just run too narrow, and never do fit. These sound like they may fall into that category. Shoes that run a little wide usually fit me in an 8, and if they run true to width, I can usually wear an 8 1/2 (which are usualy a little long, but fixable with gel pads), but if they run narrow, forget it. Stupid wide toe box.

    • I have these (wearing them right now, in fact) and like them as well. They’re attractive and a nice heel height. I think they work well on narrower feet, but I can wear narrow sizes. I usually wear a 7.5 or 8 in shoes and I have the 8.

      Not sure if you can order the shoes with overnight or express shipping – as I recall, mine took awhile to arrive.

    • Prob not the best for a wide toe box :

      I’d skip AT if you have a wide toebox. I have bunions and recently had to part with a pair of AT heels that caused extreme foot pain for me. I loved them, but I had red lines over the front of my foot after only a few hours of use.

    • I have feet similar to yours and I almost exclusive wear the AT perfect pumps and perfect kitten heels. To be completely honest, I own at least 8 pairs. They are very comfortable and stretch over time. FWIW, I usually wear a. 9-9.5 in most brands, and I wear a 9 in the perfect pumps/kitten heels.

      • I should clarify- I have a wider toe box and regular sized heels.

        • Your feet sound like mine. Have you tried Franco Sarto shoes? Other brands that consistently work for me are Circa Joan and David, AK Anne Klein, and Cole Haan.

        • My feet are shaped like Mere’s and I have also been happy with the AT perfect heels – both the kitten and the regular heel. I usually wear a 8.5 or 9 depending on the brand; I get the 8.5 at AT.

    • I would order several from zappos and return the ones you don’t keep. Free return shipping!

    • just Karen :

      My feet are built just like yours, but an 8 1/2 to 9 size. Naturalizer is usually my best bet if I don’t have time to shop around, but in general I have discovered that I can buy a wide shoe in a slingback and have it fit great – if you can’t try anything on and a slingback (closed toe) would be appropriate, that might be your safest bet.

    • Have you ever tried Bandolinos? Also, I’m sorry for your loss.

  14. anon in NY :

    Ladies, today I had a second interview with the same person at a firm. I interviewed with this person two weeks ago, then someone in a different department late last week and then repeat with interviewer one today. Do I send another thank you note to the first interviewer (I sent one after the first interview). I guess I’m just sort of baffled how to make this not a direct repeat of the one I sent two weeks ago.

    • The only time this happened to me the second interview with the person (and another) was over dinner, so I sent a brief thank you because a meal was involved. I said something like this:

      “Thank you for arranging dinner Monday night and keeping me in mind as your firm moves forward. I hope I have the opportunity to practice with you, and contribute to the success of your firm.”

      Also, there were months between 1st 2nd and 3rd interviews, not two weeks.

    • I think keep it short and sweet, don’t pretend like you have some great new insight or something, but reiterate your interest in their firm and reference something that occurred in the actual interview.

      :-)

  15. I love this dress, and the shoes with it. Looks like a perfect first date outfit to me!

    • Me too. I have a cobalt blue Issa dress that I adore (but silk jersey, not rayon) – so comfortable and so flattering. I am totally looking for an excuse to buy another Issa dress.

  16. Woods-comma-Elle :

    I’ve just finished my first all-nighter. Three years in BigLaw so it’s not so bad, but I was working for 38 hours straight and I feel like death… I really can’t understand how some people do this all the time…

  17. I am LOLing today, you guise. I just discovered my handle has its own definition on Urban Dictionary.

  18. MaggieLizer :

    Rant: I really wish it were socially acceptable to write discovery-esque deficiency letters to people outside of work who refuse to answer your questions.

    Dear Mortgage Broker:

    Thank you for sending me a mortgage pre-approval that included a first time homebuyer credit even though you knew my income disqualified me from such credit. I have emailed you several questions regarding how this error will affect my down payment and mortgage. Your responses have not been illuminating. Please respond to the following:
    1. Will my down payment increase? Your response “It will be in closing costs” is unresponsive. Please answer yes or no and provide an estimate of how much the down payment might increase.
    2. Will my mortgage increase? You did not respond to this question. Please answer yes or no.
    3. Will settlement assistance reduce the impact of the loss of this credit? By how much? Your response “We can request closing assistance from the seller” is unresponsive. Please answer the question.

    Sigh. Deep breath, must not be a B must not be a B must not be a B.

    • CA lawyer :

      The letter is respectful and clear. It’s not mean or unpleasant. Why not send it?

    • As Dan Savage would say, DTMFA! There are plenty of banks/mortgage brokers out there who would love your business. And in this mortgage climate where all sorts of things can cause the deal to fall through, you need someone who will respond to your questions directly and not sound like an automated bot.

      • Yay! I approve of applying DTMFA to things other than relationships. I apply it to all sorts of things. :-) (Unrelated to OP’s problem of course….I actually think you could basically send that letter….)

    • a passion for fashion :

      Um. . . I dont see why you cannot send this (or say this) to your mortgage broker and make him/her answer. Or you can go somewhere else to get a mortgage.

      • Diana Barry :

        I agree. No reason to work with a broker who’s being unresponsive. There are TONS of brokers out there who are desperate for business.

    • Seriously. You should send it to Broker and let us know what the response is. (And then start looking for a smarter broker.)

    • Sydney Bristow :

      D absolutely send it! It sounds like you don’t have a good working relationship with your broker in the first place, so at worst this makes it a little worse but at best it gets you answers to important questions and causes him/her to work more carefully with you from now on.

    • Anastasia :

      Send it! It’s respectful, but it also registers that you’re an informed, assertive customer who isn’t going to accept non-answers. You’ll either get better service, or you will know that the person isn’t worth working with.

      I sent plenty of “please refer to my original inquiry” messages when I got autobot “what is the purchase price of the house?” type responses to my detailed requests for estimates when I was shopping. I found people were more responsive after I politely called them out once.

    • I’m frequently tempted to send letters like this to one of the partners at my firm.

      • Suited Up :

        I concur with everyone- send it, and if you don’t get a satisfactory response, find another broker! You are being more than reasonable.

    • Ugh I had to cross examine the hubbo in re: his methodology of cleaning the kitchen floor the other night. I feel ya.

      You testified earlier that you wanted to help with the chores, is that right? yes
      You also testified that you were not asking to help just to be polite, that you really wanted to help, correct? yes
      And then you said you were going to mop the kitchen, is that right? Yes, I said I was going to mop and I mopped.
      (Me pacing room.) I see. Now, the floor remains dirty? Yes.
      And there were no intervening filthy floor events or other such increase traffic? No, but I think the mop was too dry. I didn’t know how to fix it.
      So your defense, is that you do not know how to “re-wet” something that has become too dry, is that correct? Husband admits defeat and makes dinner.

    • My husband and I frequently write letters like this to his kids’ mom.

      Sometimes we send them.

      She still never answers the questions.

      Also, she is not nearly as much fun to impeach with her prior inconsistent statements as a real witness in front of a jury because she doesn’t care about lying.

      I say you send it. Please.

    • MaggieLizer :

      Thanks for the replies, all. I didn’t send the letter per se, but I did pick up the phone and call Mortgage Broker to get the answers I wanted. He was much better over the phone. That being said, I prefer email for a number of reasons, so I think I’m still going to look for another broker anyway.

  19. burnt out anon :

    Every day at work I feel more and more inclined not to come back after lunch.

  20. springtime :

    Need to vent.

    I was set up by a friend last night with a guy he works with. We got along well, had lots in common, and there was lot’s of laughing and mutual interests. This morning, he tells my friend I’m not his type.

    Just find it super frustrating the level of pickiness in my city. I am attractive and smart and successful and athletic and happy and fun. I don’t see how you can write someone off so quickly. I feel like if I get along with someone I will at least go on another date with them. GRRRRRR. Getting really frustrated because I never meet anyone!!!

    Vent over :(

    • By not your type, he meant that you weren’t a 22 year old bimbo I’m sure. I’m always amazed at the women guys I used to date get serious with.

      • springtime :

        You know how many people have said that to me since I told them! It’s hilarious how everyone is on that same wavelength (I actually thought he was just expecting utter perfection).

        I unfortunately am beginning to think it’s true. So sad. Don’t ask your friend to set you up with someone you met at the law review if you don’t want a girl with a brain and opinions.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I was told that once when I was in college. Except it was delivered as “he normally dates girls who look like models.” Luckily he was the worst kisser in the entire world and I didn’t want to see him again anyway, but it still hurt.

      • Wow, unrealistic expectations on his part, and I bet he had very average looks, possibly has a tendency towards fat when he gets to middle-age, and only average income-prospects.

    • Not giving this guy any credit at all, but I wouldn’t necessarily think it’s that he wants a 22 year old model, etc.

      I try to think of it as them doing me a favor (when I’m feeling charitable at least) b/c maybe they picked up on some sort of incompatibility that I didn’t and they’re just saving us both a little time. I’m just saying, don’t think it’s about your own deficiencies because it’s probably not. It’s much more likely that it’s about something that has much more to do with him than you. Maybe he’s seeing someone else casually or just got out of something.

      • springtime :

        Right, I guess my point is that I was written off immediately without much of a chance. Think about all of those posts over the weekend where most people give someone a few dates before they decide that.

        I dunno, to be able to concretely say you have some sort of incompatibility after such a short time really cuts off a lot of opportunities and makes me feel like he ran a mental checklist and I didn’t have some arbitrary quality.

        • springtime :

          Sorry for the run on sentence. I really should be working and not typing comments on corporette like a mad woman!

          • Yes, I do think that one date isn’t really enough to know whether there’s a connection…but it’s enough to sense that there isn’t. I’ve been out with guys who are great but just clearly not for me. I can have a good conversation with almost anybody if I try–but that doesn’t mean we were compatible. I had something similar happen to me a few months back and I’m glad that it did because I met someone better a week later. I might not have been open to the second guy had I not had the experience with the first.

            And my first date with the second guy? It was fireworks. Made me realize that sometimes you just know. Maybe you don’t know if it’s work forever, but you just know that it’ll work for at least a good run.

            Good luck! I know where you’re at–I’ve been there a ton.

        • Which means you are totally better off without him. :)

        • Seattleite :

          OTOH, he has shown you that he is quick to judgment and hard to please. Not optimal qualities in a mate. Thus, you and he really incompatible – just in a different way than he thought.

      • This. It is absolutely about him, and not about you at all!

      • I love this attitude!

        • Anonymous :

          Haven’t you ever gone out with a really attractive nice man who you didn’t really want to see again? That is why we date – we are looking for the right guy.

    • karenpadi :

      Here’s my take. I went on three dates in one weekend. All were good dates but one was spectacular. All three were deserving of a second date. So second got no second date and the third got a second date but I ended up telling him I wasn’t interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with him the next day.

      I have many friends I would not want to marry so it’s conceivable that a guy I go on a date with would be friend-material but not LTR-material. So I don’t have second dates if there is a base incompatibility.

      During the date, if I notice a base incompatibility but can acknowledge that he’s a good guy, I try to end the date on a good note and make the other person feel positive about the date.

      • springtime :

        If only I got 3 dates in one weekend- i meet someone probably once every three months. Other guys I meet ask for my number and say “I had a great time and I’d love to hang out again” when we meet but then never call. And that’s pretty much the status quo for most people I know. If I knew I’d likely meet another opportunity in a few weeks I wouldn’t feel so bad. But when you only meet people as rarely as I do, it stings.

        FWIW, I don’t live in the US- I live in a very closed off city where people DO NOT DATE. Sounds weird to say but everyone I know (guys included) feel the same and a large part of it is I hear people being SUPER picky and not giving people a chance.

        Whenever I travel to the US there are ALWAYS some guy who’s interested in talking and hanging out. It’s such a stark difference.

        Anyway, not looking for an argument but if I knew that there were indeed more fish in the sea I would be fine with it. Now I know it’s going to be dry until spring based on my 5 years experience here. Hence why I’m mopey about it.

        • Hah! From your description of where you live, I find myself wondering if you live in Vancouver (BC, not WA).

          • springtime :

            Not in Vancouver, but another major Canadian city. Seems to be country-wide!

        • Maybe this will cheer you up: a friend of mine dated a guy for SIX MONTHS and was waiting for a proposal/invitation to move in together when he told her that:
          A. she wasn’t really his type
          B. he didn’t really find her either all that attractive, or all that interesting;
          and C. he was basically just using her as a placeholder date (with benefits) until he found someone better, and he was telling her all this because guess what? he had.

          The guy you went out with did you a HUUUUGE favor by admitting to the lack of connection after one date. I feel your frustration, and I agree it sucks, but getting used/strung along is way worse.

          • 6 months? I’ve been dating a guy for a little over that, and a ring would scare the crap out of me.

            It’s awful to be used. He should have dumped her as soon as he knew she wasn’t the right one.

            But… not everyone wants to move as fast as you friend. Better that she found out after 6m than after she moved in with him.

    • secretly gay

  21. Moot Court :

    Thanks for all of the great advice yesterday for moot court competitions. I also wanted to know what you took with you to the podium, or did you go paperless. Also if you felt like skirt suits were preferred over pantsuits. I’d like to take one jacket with a matching skirt and pants, but I don’t want to be viewed as less formal. Same with heels, are these necessary? I’m perfectly capable of walking in heels, but I figure it would be hours on my feet over the course of the day. Thanks again!

    • associate :

      I took a brief outline in a stapled into a manila folder to the podium and kept thick binder with cases, record, etc nearby on my table. I still do this in real life OA’s and have never had to use to binder. In tryouts and competitions, I thought people who went paperless seemed a little overconfident/naive. I’ve never seen somebody go paperless in real life.

    • I cannot add to everything — didn’t do a formal moot court in law school but took trial advocacy.

      1. I always took something to the podium, but make sure you don’t over-rely.

      2. Skirt vs. pant — the endless debate. Probably depends on region and which you are most comfortable with, but I’d say either is probably fine (though I would wear hose if you wear a skirt, it is frequently cold in these rooms and nothing says unprofessional like goosebumpy legs, imho).

      3. Heels — I know the general consensus is yes, but I think you can get away with no if you are going to have issues in them. My only advice/comment is this: I was on a jury for another trial ad. class when I was a 3L and after we walked out of the room to “deliberate” we spent the first 10 minutes talking about how we didn’t know how the girls had stood up in their shoes. Don’t get me wrong, they were fabulous shoes, but they distracted us and that’s never good. So no matter what you choose go conservative.

      Otherwise, good luck.

      • I only did trial ad too. I was the only girl in pants and the only one with a button down (at least it was french cuff!). Everyone wore heels.

      • If you wear heels, wear low heels, like 2″ or so. Then you don’t have to worry about the pain of the day, and you will still look formal.

        This is advice for your real career, too.

    • phillygirlruns :

      i always wore the one skirt suit i owned for moot court out of caution, but having been on the other side of the coin for a few years now, i think a pants suit is perfectly acceptable.

      i prefer heels, particularly with skirts – i don’t love how i look in skirts and flats. nothing wrong with stashing a pair of heels in your bag and changing right before argument.

      finally, i always took an outline to the podium with me (and still do) – maybe 1-2 sheets of paper. i almost never look at it but feel (and felt) much more confident in my argument having it there just in case.

    • hey, I did 4 moot court competitions while in Law school. 2 in NYC, 1 in Houston, and 1 in Chicago. What you wear I found would vary greatly on where the competition was located, and the type of law. In Houston, every single woman wore skirt suits (with 1 expection – I’m not kidding). Pumps, crisp white or very light pink button down shirts were everywhere, and lots of pearls.

      In New York and Chicago it was much more casual, pants were regularly seen, and more color. Though, I always found that it is better to err on the side of being more conservative/formal. You’ll never inadvertantly offend a judge that way. Though, I’ve had male judges comment that pants suits were inappropriate for women (sigh). So I always wore skirt suits at competitions.

      Also – for the pumps/heels. Yes, you are in them all day. I brought ballet flats in my purse and would change inbetween rounds. This was nice because it poured rain between rounds in NYC and Houston as we are running around looking for food.

      As for what to bring to the podium: take 2 manila folders. over lap to sides and staple them toogether. it makes a trifold. Then I kept caselaw on the right hand side (highlight green for helpful, pink for distinguish – stop and go was the idea). Outline, and record cites very sparsly on the left and middle. Make 2 of these, 1 for P (Blue line on the outside) and 1 for R (red line on the outside). Prep this early on, and try to leave it unchanged as you practice so you are trained where information is through practice. No scanning notes.

      Though, at Houston I was memorized. There I took up only my brief (opened to Table of Authorities) and the record. This was key because a judge actually asked for a full case cite during a round.

      In the end the best advice is that less is more. If you have too much, your argument will become messy and ineffective. You will waste time finding the “perfect” point in your notes, and loose the overall argument. With time and practice you will know your argument so well that you shouldn’t need many, if any notes. So don’t worry.

      Good luck!

      • This. I also competed in four moot court comps in law school and now do exclusively appellate work. I always wore a skirt suit with a white or light pink button down shirt (in the real world I still wear a skirt suit but I’m not so strict with the shirt).

        Definitely wear a low heel. Be sure that you practice in the heels too, because you don’t want to be behind the podium rocking back and forth in them.

        Creating the tri-fold folder was absolutely priceless to me (and is still what I use for OA).

    • AnonInfinity :

      Pants are fine, in my experience. I would wear heels, but that’s because I feel more formal and confident in them. If you wear flats, obviously make sure that they are sufficiently dressy and professional.

      As for the podium — I did not take notes to the podium. I tend to look at something if I have it in front of me, even if I know it cold. Some judges noticed and were very impressed, some did not notice. If you practice your argument enough and practice with people who will grill you with hard questions, then you will not need to take anything up there.

    • I also take up a manilla folder with one page devoted to each issue. I rarely use my notes but it makes me feel better to have them up with me! As long as you’re professionally dressed, I don’t think anyone will judge you for wearing a pant suit instead of a skirt. I usually wear skirts for oral arguments but it’s only because I am more comfortable in skirts than pants. Have you thought about wearing wedges instead of heels? IMO they’re more comfortable than regular heels and dressier than flats.

    • Thanks so much for the advice. You’re a wealth of information. Did anyone do Jessup in particular?

  22. Somebody tell me I’m not crazy for what I just did. We’re going to be paying for IVF soon so I applied for a credit card to get some free flights. There’s no annual fee and the card will be paid off each month and closed as soon as we get the tickets. Crazy?

    • Not crazy, as long as you’re aware that closing a credit card will negatively impact your credit score, and have decided that’s less important to you than getting the flights.

    • Not crazy at all. The only downside is if this somehow lowers your score and kicks you into a higher rate for an upcoming major purchase (e.g., a house or a car). Otherwise, sounds like you did something smart. Just keep your promise to yourself and pay it off monthly, and enjoy your free flights. Good luck with the IVF too!

    • Not crazy. I’ve done it before with an old card for miles, then closed it, years ago. We use our no annual fee card now for groceries and gas only, which we already have to buy, and usually get the max $300 in cash back every year.

    • nope, I’ve done that a couple times in the last few years, and paid off the entire balance every month. we’ve got some great vacation plans :-) I was actually told not to close the card when we’re finished with the “bonus points” part, because a credit line that’s been open for a long time improves your credit score. not sure if that’s true but as long as there’s no fee, it’s probably not hurting anything.

      • Diana Barry :

        Ditto, just don’t close it after you are done using it…I just keep mine open but inactive.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        Yup, don’t close it as having a high available credit amount is positive for your score. Also, I’ve heard it’s best to use it a couple of times a year. Not sure what the reason is, but my guess is that it lessens the chance the issuer will decide to close it on their own.

    • Not crazy. We put a car downpayment on a credit card rather than give the dealership the check, just to get the miles. We paid it off the same month and got a little closer to a vacation.

      You might consider keeping it open even if you don’t use it, as debt-to-credit ratio helps determine your score (so the more credit available to you but unused the better the score), but closing one (as a. mentions) can ding it.

    • We put my husband’s MBA and Master’s in Comm on a credit card that we immediately paid off, and will now be using the points to take a vacation to celebrate his graduation.

    • Thanks all. It’s not a bad card so I’ll keep it open if they continue to waive the annual fee.

    • On a related note: can people give their credit card recommendations? I have been using bank of america for years and years and really dislike them. I get tons of credit card apps every month, but it seems overwhelming to choose a new one. Any suggestions? I currently get no freebies on my card, so miles/flights/other points would be a welcome change. Thanks!

      • Northwesterner :

        I hate them, too, but I have an Alaska Airlines card with them, and put up with them for the benefit of miles.

      • Seattleite :

        My card is through my credit union. No annual fee if no rewards. If rewards, $30 per year, with 1:1 points:dollars that rewards to about 1% cash or miles.

      • May be too late, but learnvest had an article (i think it linked to creditguru) that can help you select the best card for your needs. That said, I love my Marriott Chase card. Half the time I can find a cheap flight, but the hotel is killer. Free Marriott points = cheap vacations.

      • associate :

        I like my Visa Signature through BOA. No fee and 1 point for every $1 plus bonus points every now any then, concierge service etc. I just trade in my points for cash. I can’t comment on interest rates b/c I use it almost exclusively and pay it off almost every day.

      • Thanks all, this is very helpful. I’ll check out that article. Thanks!

      • Discover is my favorite. They have amazing customer service. I also get cash back, which is basically points.

  23. What is everyone’s favorite eyeshadow for everyday/office-type situations? I’ve been switching between Stila Kitten & Stila Cloud forever and want to switch it up a bit. Bonus points if fair-skinned, blue-eyed brunettes can answer this question. :)

    • Always a NYer :

      I’m a fair-skinned, green-eyed brunette, does that count?

      My favorite combo for my eyes is MAC Girlie (wash of pink that’s surprisingly flattering for looking so pink in the pan) on my lids with a wash of MAC Era (pale golden brown) on top to mute it. I’ll highlight my browbone with MAC Phloof! and a swipe of black mascara and LM’s Eye Kohl in Black Violet on the waterlines and I’m ready to go.

    • phillygirlruns :

      brunette, light olive/yellow-undertoned skin, dark eyes. favorite ever is MAC’s “all that glitters.” they always seem to be out of it when i stop in, so i haven’t worn it in a while, and have struggled to find a good replacement. everything else is just a little off – too much pink, not enough pink, weird shimmer, etc. i like urban decay’s naked palette the best so far – about 50% of the colors are off-limits for work, but the rest of them are great. i’ve been test-driving different combinations.

    • karenpadi :

      Same skin tone. I’m going to check this thread too. I don’t normally wear eyeshadow to work because it looks so dramatic on pale skin and blue eyes.

      I wear bare essentials fairly light foundation and a light “base” eyeshadow like cultured pearl, brown powder eyeliner in retro, and black mascara. If I’m trying to be fancier, I have a pallet that has a yellow-y base, a pinkish-rose color for the lids, a dark brown for the outer corners, and the retro eyeliner.

    • I’m a fair-skinned, blue-eyed dark blonde.

      I use Urban Decay’s Naked palette and switch between shades within that palette depending on how I am feeling each day.

      Previously, I used Clinique’s “Teddy Bear” palette and was very happy with it…I just switched to Urban Decay because I wanted some variety.

    • I (and all my friends with a variety of skin/hair/eye colors and combinations) all use and swear by the Urban Decay Naked Palette. Granted, I think we all have different favorites within that palette, but everyone loves it in general.

    • I’m fair-skinned, blue-eyed brunette. I always wear Clinique Beige Shimmer, I probably need to branch out. I use Clinique Canvas Touch Base, then Beige Shimmer all over the lid, and put a little dark brown shadow in the crease. Also use Topaz eyeliner pencil from Almay.

    • lightly applied mahogony or coco in the Stila would look nice. I use Dior eye shadow that I really like and it is a light shimmer coffee color (can’t find online). But I get the most compliments with the maroon type eye shadow, lightly applied but darker in the crease with a black eye liner pencil.

      I guess I am fair skinned with pinky undertones though and that might be why if it is different pale, brunette, blue eyed pallette.

  24. Help my husband! :

    What brand of jeans do your men prefer? My husband spent 2 hours at Macy’s this weekend and came home with jeans that do not fit (too baggy) and are not stylish at all. His priority is comfort, hence the jeans that are too big. Any tips would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!

    • Diana Barry :

      My DH likes Banana and, oddly enough, some jeans (calvin klein?) he got at Costco. They are lighter weight and thus more comfy.

    • I just bought new jeans for my guy at Gap. He hasn’t worn them yet, but they came highly rated on the site.

      (He has a bunch of Wranglers in a light wash that really weren’t flattering.)

    • I buy all of H’s clothes (because he despises shopping) and he seems to gravitate toward the Citizens of Humanity and 7 For All Mankind jeans I have gotten him over the last few years. He also really likes BKE jeans (Buckle’s house brand). BKE jeans come in a wide variety of fits and washes, so I cannot advise re: a particular fit. They are reasonably priced and if you have about thirty minutes and allow one of the sales associates to help, they can find a fit that is comfortable and not baggy.

      • My husband also likes 7 for all mankind, citizens of humanity, and joe’s jeans, because they are all soft.

        • I am *sure* this is why my H likes those brands as well. He has no clue that they are “designer”, so it’s definitely not the label. It’s alllll about comfort. :)

    • My S.O. wears Levi’s, but in their higher end cuts from the Levi’s store. He tried on a bunch at Macy’s and they looked terrible on him (like Barack Obama’s dad jeans). The actual Levi’s store has more cuts and better fabrics/tints. He had to try on about 10 pairs before he found some that he liked though.

    • Mine wears almost exclusively Lucky Brand jeans. I’ve purchased others, but he always pulls the Luckys out of the closet.

      • Anonymous :

        Ditto on Lucky for my DH. They often have specials for 30-40% off, so I can get a nice pair for around $60. So much nicer than anything I have seen for DH in the stores!

  25. Love the new picture at the top of the page, and the dual-column format!

    • Praxidike :

      Heh, I was just going to leave a comment saying how much I dislike it. Different strokes, I guess.

      • Research, Not Law :

        Haha! So true.

        My gut was that I didn’t like it, but I’ve warmed up to it and like the new look. I can’t put my finger on what changed in the comments area, but it seems easier to read.

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