Weekly News Update

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- Shoppers beware — Racked lists the “top lies” salespeople say during January sales.

- The Catalyst Group suggests that women don’t lack ambition.  Lifehacker tells you how to use “the briefcase technique” to negotiate a higher salary.

- Savvy Sugar has some tips on the etiquette of going out to lunch.  Meanwhile, Jezebel suggests how to “stop worrying about being bitchy and assert yourself.”

- NPR rounded up the best songs for workout mixes, as suggested by their audience.

Did we miss anything? Add ‘em here, or send them to [email protected] Thank you!

Comments

  1. Anonymous :

    Dear Hive:

    There was a post earlier today about including family information in a cover letter (don’t!) that made me want to share my unique situation, in the hopes that the good ideas and maturity usually found here could apply.

    Facts: I’m 29 years old. I’m 9 weeks pregnant. Started a new job 3 months ago. We have learned, for sure, that I have a very mis-shaped shaped uterus – a rare birth defect – and that this pregnancy, and every subsequent pregnancy, has only a 1/3 chance of making it to the point of viability without miscarrying, and that because of an anticipated ‘weak’ placenta, the point of viability will be later than 24 weeks – but that miscarriages are more likely to take place in the second trimester than the first.

    There’s a lot of personal emotional issues going on with this that we’re working through with family and our pastor, and that I wouldn’t dream of asking the Corporette community to handle.

    I am open to anyone’s suggestions on how to handle this situation professionally. This situation – in order to have a child, we will likely have to go through quite a few second trimester miscarriages. Of course, I will announce this pregnancy as late as I can possibly get away with it outside of our immediate family. And although I will likely have to reveal it is a high risk pregnancy (doctor’s appointments every other week at week 14, then every week starting at week 20), I don’t necessarily want to reveal just how high-risk it is. I don’t want my employer to write me off of projects and cases at this job I love and want to spend my career in.

    Does anyone have experience with a high-risk pregnancy, or other medical challenge that might involve the same sort of issues? How does one handle this sort of thing gracefully, while showing that you’re competent and enthusiastic?

    • Anonymous :

      Oh Corporettes, I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean to be the first post on this thread and so serious and depressing. Please post below about positive and fashion issues not related to me at all.

    • karenpadi :

      This is a difficult situation. I don’t have much advice except what I saw a mentor do with her high-risk pregnancy. She actually didn’t announce the pregnancy until 6 weeks before she was due. Yes, there was a lot of speculation (and the speculation included that it might be a high risk pregnancy) but we had a firm culture that wasn’t “nosey” about personal matters. I think the partner in charge of the practice group knew about it earlier but didn’t announce it either.

      I know some office cultures would allow people to ask questions and be curious. From my experience, I can see people in the Midwest demanding to know whether you are pregnant. In the Silicon Valley, I can see people keeping their questions to themselves and respecting your right to not make an announcement.

    • I don’t have experience with high-risk pregnancy, but I do have experience with confidential medical issues. I work for a fairly large employer (~1500 employees) with a large HR department. I was able to work directly with HR to accommodate my medical needs, without having to disclose the actual medical condition (I just needed letters from medical providers stating what accommodation I needed due to a medical condition, without explaining what the medical condition was). My boss only knew about it if I needed time off, and he didn’t know what the medical condition was, nor did he have the ability to deny me time off since it was due to a medical accommodation. So, my suggestion would be to work with HR. That will keep your issues confidential, and HR will also ensure that you’re given at least the benefits required by law and company policy.

      Of course, if confidentiality isn’t hugely important to you, you also can always work directly with your boss, but HR will probably have to approve the accommodations anyway. I had a coworker who spent a couple of months on bed rest in her third trimester, and she was able to telecommute as an accommodation. My boss was ok with it, but HR had to approve it because it was an exception to our usual anti-telecommuting policy.

      I’d suggest just letting HR know in advance that you have a medical condition that requires regular medical appointments and may require time off with extremely short or no notice. You don’t have to tell them it’s a pregnancy. You’ll probably need a letter from a doctor stating that you’ll need extra leave, and that should be enough.

      I think it’s fine not to tell colleagues you’re pregnant. As for being written off projects and cases, it’s inevitable that if you miss work, you’ll get staffed on fewer projects. But I think that’s ok. No one is going to judge you harshly for being sick, and once you are better, then things will go back to normal.

      Best wishes – this sounds like an extremely difficult situation, and I sincerely hope you’re snuggling a wee one 8 months from now.

    • You may want to post this on the weekend thread as well to get more responses.

    • I know you asked for professional advice, and I am sure you will get plenty of great responses, but I wanted to share with you that one of my very best childhood friends has a similar condition (a wishbone shaped uterus). She has successfully carried and delivered two full-term babies, and the pregnancies themselves were in no way problematic. I know every person is different, and your condition may not be the same, but I hope this gives you some comfort and hope. Best wishes for you and your growing family’s continued good health.

  2. karenpadi :

    OK, Silicon Valley Corporettes, please save the date for Saturday, March 24th, around 1pm, for a meet-up. I’m thinking Palo Alto again. If you have any restaurant requests, please do post them.

    Feel free to email me at karenpadi at hotmail and I’ll send out an email when we have a location and definite time. I’ll be sure to post it on Corporette too.

  3. Formerly Preggo Angie :

    My first pregnancy became high-risk at around 34 weeks, and I was immediately put on bedrest THAT DAY. I couldn’t finish up any outstanding projects or anything. So be sure to be able to leave at the drop of a hat. Make sure people know what you’re doing so nothing gets dropped.

    I agree with everyone’s else advice, and best of luck to you. Please take care of yourself and wishing you only the best.

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