Thursday’s TPS Report: Stretch Rayon Pique Jacket

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

STRETCH RAYON PIQUÉ JACKET-8-BLACKThis jacket is not for everyone — but it’s interesting enough and has a chance that it might be flattering, and so if I were looking for a slightly different take on a black blazer, I would order this one to give it a try. (Alas, N.B.: it’s marked down so much it’s non-returnable.) I like the sculptural folds, as well as the “hint of stretch.” It was $298, but is now marked to $98 at MaxStudio.com. STRETCH RAYON PIQUÉ JACKET

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Comments

  1. PSA – There are several pairs of Apepazza Lulu shoes still available on Amazon in a few lucky sizes.

    Today I have thrown away my much-beloved Apepazza slingbacks that had the same Lucite ombre wedge as the Lulus. I have worn them to pieces, they were beautiful, unusual, and insanely comfortable. I found the Lulus but my size is already sold out – maybe the ‘rettes will benefit! Oh, and they are at half-price, too.
    (You can tell I am seriously grieving!)

  2. Exposed Zippers :

    Exposed zipper yay or nay?

    I found this awesome skirt (link follows in a reply), I don’t think anybody in my office would say something if I wear it, I work in a business casual office in the marketing field and we can actually wear sweats on casual days. Not that I would ever do that, but we get away with a lot.

    Still, my inner conservative thinks that the zipper would draw the eye to all the wrong places. Just because the dress code allows it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, right?

    Ignoring the fact that thinking all this might just make me uncomfortable enough to not wear the skirt I would like to hear other opinions.

    • Exposed Zippers :
    • i am all about exposed zippers along the spine of dresses and it never stops me from wearing the dress to work. but an exposed zipper over my behind would stop me. i’d be uncomfortable with people’s potential thoughts.

      • SAlit-a-gator :

        Ditto, since this goes all the way down it’s in a whole other category than your run of the mill exposed zipper. The color is already a stretch, combined with the zipper, this screams UNZIP ME! Definitely not the message I want to send at work. I can’t get on board with this one.

      • If it’s the shape of the skirt you like, since it’s a pattern, why not just make it a hidden zipper that only goes part way down? Would require a little reworking of the pattern, but shouldn’t be too hard if you (or whoever is making it for you) know what you’re doing. I think the shape is really nice, but agree about the zipper being too much. Also, it seems like it would be uncomforable to sit on all day at work!

    • I like it, but experience on c*rporette has shown me that I trend less conservative than many. I would keep it mostly zipped though (very little open vent) and pair it with longer sleeves.

    • Former MidLevel :

      I have no issue with exposed zippers in general – especially in a business casual environment. And because this one goes all the way down the length of the skirt, it seems more like a stripe, in visual effect, than an arrow to your derriere (which I agree would be less than ideal). But if just the thought of wearing this makes you uncomfortable, then you won’t wear it.

    • I had a skirt like this once, and it was a PIA. Unless you leave the zipper completely closed, it will work its way higher and higher whenever you move, until you are indecently unzipped. There is nothing keeping the zipper in place to allow you to customize the slit height. If the skirt is stretchy enough, you may be able to leave it completely closed and still be able to walk. I had to get rid of my skirt because it was not stretchy, and there was no way to adjust it so that it was possible to walk without getting involuntarily unzipped.

    • I recently saw someone waiting for the subway wearing a skirt with a zipper like this, and it looked weird to me. Too much “unzip me.” To me, an office that is casual enough that you wear sweats sometimes does not really make a difference–it’s a s*xiness issue, not a dressed down issue.

    • Accountress :

      Have you already located it in this color combo, or are you planning on making it/having it made?

      If you’re going to cause it to be made, don’t go bright for the skirt- that totally limits your possible outfits. Instead, go with a dark heathered grey, with an all-black zipper. The zipper won’t stick out as much, and you can wear all sorts of brights colors or neutrals with the darker skirt to make your outfit pop.

    • I tried on a very similar skirt at Zara a month or two ago. It was black, so I was hoping that would tone down the look a bit, but I still didn’t feel comfortable in it – the zipper followed the curve of my backside a bit too closely. Great for a dinner date or party, but not the impression I’d want to give at work.

  3. Hunger Games tonight! And horray for living in Europe and getting to see it a day or two early!

    So excited.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      I’m seeing it tomorrow and I bought a t-shirt (it says LOVE and the “O” has a mockingjay inside!) — so excited! I need to avoid media tomorrow so I don’t get spoiled!

    • canadian anon :

      Hurray! I am waiting for a few weeks to see it with my sisters. I’ll have to pretend the premiere is really not for another two weeks. That won’t be difficult at all..

    • I’m going Saturday night and I’m soooo excited!

    • I just read the book this past weekend. Now I can’t wait to see it!

  4. The flowers were appreciated. The lipstick was tolerated. Some of it got on his shirt. #AIMSwasright

  5. Got stuck in moderation yesterday: after much flailing about for months over what to do with my life, I went back to ATL for a visit this weekend and realized that my parents are getting older and I don’t want to be 3,000 miles away from them. And that maybe, just maybe, I’m actually a southerner at heart. I have an extensive network in the city, but would love to get corporette input on the legal market for transactional attorneys – any thoughts? My email is linked above if you’d prefer that.

    • Leslie Knope :

      I’m not a lawyer, much less a transactional one, but welcome back to Atlanta! I know you have a network here already, but if you have any Atlanta-specific questions post them here and I’ll do my best.

      P.S. I don’t think your email is linked in your username.

      • Argh! I thought it was. It’s cbackson at the mail service google brings us (I think that naming it got me moderated last time).

    • Rose in Bloom :

      Yay Atlanta!

      I’m a 3L living in Atlanta, and I will be doing transactional law at a large firm here. I believe you are currently in BigLaw? My sense from interviewing (I didn’t summer here as a 2L) last fall is that the transactional practices are slowly recovering – even some real estate practices. Of my friends who will also be going to large ATL firms, I think a fair number are doing transactional so business does seem to be getting better. That said, most attorneys I’ve spoken with have said they think Atlanta has lagged a bit behind the curve.

      Let me know if you have any specific questions, although since I haven’t started practicing, I’m not sure how much help I can be.

      • Yup, Biglaw, mid-level doing M&A and securities work. My preference is in-house at this point rather than jumping to A&B, K&S, TS, etc. – just hard for me to get excited about going from Biglaw to Biglaw. I have a niche subspecialty that I’d love to work in, but it’s more likely to be luck more than anything if I find a job in that.

        Did you find it hard to get a job after not summering in ATL? I’m trying to figure out, in general, if the market is tough to get into as an “outsider” – I grew up in ATL and went to Emory, but my JD is not from a Georgia school (although it’s from a top-5 school, so hopefully not TOO much of an obstacle) and I’m not admitted in GA. I’m one year shy of being able to waive in, presently.

      • Rose in Bloom :

        I would think that Atlanta would be a good city for in-house work given the number of large companies HQ’d or with major offices here.

        I didn’t find it too difficult to get a job, and I didn’t go through the normal OCI process (long story), so I was searching for jobs on my own. I’m from the South, but I have family here which I stressed in every interview because firms were clearly worried that I would want to go back to my hometown shortly. I would think that growing up here + parents here + Emory undergrad would suffice to show your connections as that is even stronger than my less immediate family here + Emory Law. In short, this is a much less insular legal market than many Southern cities.

        In case you think of moving before being able to waive in, the GA section of the bar is only one day and from what I understand, is not very difficult (at least I hope so!).

        • Awesome, this is really helpful. I would probably have to take the full bar, because I’m from a non-MBE state (ugh).

  6. So we are buying a house (from a condo) and I am currently obsessed with outdoor furniture and beds. Because I have to buy both.

    Anyone have any reviews/input on:
    Target Smith & Hawken teak outdoor furniture
    and/or
    Saatva mattresses? They keep popping up in my sidebar ads.

    • Stay far far away form Target Smith & Hawken. We bought some for our back deck (in shade) and our roofdeck (in sun), oiled it when we first got it and repeatedly thereafter, nad took cushions in in the wintertime . . . and it really did not hold up well at all. The stuff in the sun particularly turned gray and cracked. Plus, we noticed that the “identical’ pieces we got (like, multiples of the same chair) came from different factoreis, with different screws / assembly instructions, which made me feel like the product hadn’t been designed thoughtfully.

    • phillygirlruns :

      no input on that particular brand of mattress, but i will implore you to spend as much as you can afford. husband and i replaced our very, VERY old and saggy mattress a few years ago, during my first year of practice when i hadn’t had actual income for very long. spending a couple thousand dollars on a mattress just about made me cry then, but once we started sleeping on that thing, tears were forgotten. you will be spending a third of your life on that mattress for many, many years – invest!

    • I have bought outdoor furniture from Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware. The regular prices are absolutely insane. But sale-stalk and you can get a crazy deal. The furniture has held up well — I’m especially happy with some faux-wicker chairs from PB, which are super comfy and holding up really well.

  7. At the request of my lawyer bro-in-law, I have agreed to be part of a mock trial competition. It’s this afternoon, and I’m realizing I have no idea what to expect, and thus starting to freak a little. Anyone have any tips for me? Or can you give me some insight into what it will be like? Thank you!!

    • SpaceMountain :

      What will your role be? Usually participants act as jurors or play witnesses, reading from a script. It should be fun.

      • I am a witness. I’ve been given a copy of my deposition and two exhibits. But I don’t have a script. They said in the instructions to be consistent so they don’t try to impeach me as a witness. Nice.

        • Your “script” will be a copy of your deposition transcript – if you said at your deposition that the car was blue, you should say the same on the stand, etc. Although it could be fun to make the attorney impeach you.

        • AnonInfinity :

          I was a witness at one of these once, and it was a lot of fun. Just try to remember everything in your deposition and look over the exhibits. They didn’t ask me anything that was terribly terrible. I did accidentally add a word that probably made a difference — in my dep, I said there was “blood” on a shirt, and on the stand I said there was “a lot of blood” on the shirt. This caused the participant to try to impeach me, but it wasn’t horrible. I just said I misspoke or something like that and she eventually moved on.

          I’d do it again!

    • I’ve been a mock witness and a juror. If you’re a witness, it’s very helpful to know your story (I did not read from a script). As a juror, it was interesting for me to see (as a lawyer) how passionate people get about the actual evidence presented (as opposed to what they think the lawyers should have presented). Both experiences were quite fun.

  8. I’m getting an 80s/early 90s power suit vibe from this pick. Yipes.

  9. I am cold emailing resumes/cover letters to various law firms of various sizes. Is it typical to get no response? In the old days, I would at least get a letter (before email) thanking me for my interest and letting me know that they would keep my resume on file. Now things seem to go into a big black hole. Is this hopeless, or does anyone have any encouraging stories about hearing from someone much later?

  10. just Karen :

    Thank you so much to everyone who made recommendations and gave advice re: Belize and Guatemala yesterday – I got sucked into mediation and didn’t get a chance to check back until today. I will definitely keep the safety warnings in mind – I did look at the state department warnings before we booked our plane tickets, but at least at that point in time there wasn’t anything overly worrisome (nothing beyond what you would expect). I will definitely look more into it and plan with caution. Does anyone have a sense for whether some areas are safer than others (or if there’s anywhere I just absolutely need to avoid)?

    • When I went we stayed in heavily touristed areas and took the touristy buses between locations rather than public buses (we flew from Tikal back to Guatemala City, and didn’t wander around the latter willy-nilly either). We felt pretty safe doing that (and did check the state department warnings for up-to-date info).

    • just Karen :

      I just went back and read the state department site again, not sure if I was overly optimistic before or if the information has changed… or if I looked at Belize and forgot to ever look at Guatemala (not normally something I would forget, but wedding planning has fried my brain). We may be spending the majority of our time in Belize…

    • We went to Guatemala about a year ago and were slightly oblivious to the danger aspect. I felt safe the entire time I was there, however, largely because we were always with guides who knew the country very well. I think Antigua is perfectly safe (although I’d avoid the volcano hike, mostly because it’s not worth it) as is the Lake Atitlan area. Tikal is also very safe because it’s so touristy. We went to see more remote Mayan ruins, which was totally worth it (although I will never sleep in a jungle lodge again), but I wouldn’t do that unless I was with a very very reputable and experienced guide. And boat driver. (Our boat driver had a machete, which was both reassuring and frightening.)

    • AlwaysAnon :

      My husband and I went to Guatemala about 3 years ago. Although we were with a friend (ex-pat) who now lives there, we teaveled all over the country – Lake Atitlan, Lago de Izbal, Tikal, Antigua – we never felt any more unsafe than, say, across the US/Mexico border, and we had a once-in-a-lifetime trip. I would highly encourage you to go. Most Guatemalans are such warm people who truly want you to enjoy their country that I wouldn’t think twice about going again. For what it’s worth, we speak minimal Spanish. Especially in Antigua and Tikal, this was not a problem.

  11. Vacation Days :

    Long time reader, first time poster…

    I am a mid-level associate in Big Law and just received an offer from a large university for a quasi-legal position. (I’m not certain that I’m going to take the job.) In any event, I have never had “vacation days” per se at my firm, so I’m curious to know if the university’s policy is pretty standard.

    They told me that you accrue 1 day of vacation for every month you work (not sure when this maxes out — I guess I should find out), plus all of the standard holidays. After four years, you get 1.5 days per year. Is this normal?

    • Leslie Knope :

      That seems a little low to me. At my university, hourly staff (secretaries, etc) with less than 5 years seniority accrue about 1 day per month, and salaried staff accrue much faster. The cap is somewhere over 300 hours.

    • You might also want to look at their sick days policy. Whereas most companies now combine vacation and sick into “PTO” some universities still have sick days separately, which does make a difference. My husband works at top university and has like 87 sick days that he’s accrued over a couple years.

    • Do you get sick days on top of that? If so, that’s fairly comparable to fed govt (in my experience, at least), although I think it’s not a lot. Can you negotiate for more–or at least maybe only one year of accumulating at 1 day/month, since you’re coming from a mid-level position?

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      I earn 2.9 days/month but don’t have any additional company vacation days or sick leave so all time away from work is treated as PTO.

    • State University :

      I work at a state university. I got 15 vacation days/year until my fifth year, then I got 18 days/year. Sick days are different: I accrue either 12 or 18/year (I forget).

      Pay attention to what happens when you max out your vacation days. Once we max them out, we stop accruing. When you leave the university, you get paid for yourunused vacation days.

      Also, what happens when you leave with unused sick days? Ours morph into service credit to increase our “years of service” for the purposes of calculating our pension payments. (Yes, we still have an old-fashioned defined-benefit pension.)

      The policies of all public schools should be online (ours are), so you can find some comparator schools to the one where you got your offer (try to find out what schools they compare themselves to when they want to benchmark themselves) and see how their policies compare.

      Another thought: find out what the “usual” holidays are and when the campus is closed. Our campus is closed for the week between Christmas and New Year for “Winter Recess.” Two of those days are paid holidays, we have to use our vacation days for the other three. This was news to me the first December I was there: I wanted to use my vacation days for my holiday (Hanukkah, which was not contemporaneous with Christmas that year) and instead had to use them for Christmas (which I don’t celebrate). I might have been less aggravated by being forced to use my vacation days for a religious holiday I don’t celebrate by a government entity that isn’t supposed to be involved in religion if I had known about it in advance. /end rant here/

      • Geezerette :

        That’s terrible that you have to use leave for the “extra” days between Christmas and New Year’s! If the campus is closed, you shouldn’t be expected to take leave!

    • Vacation Days :

      Thank you everyone for your comments! They are all very helpful. It is a private university, but I will definitely look at some of the state school policies for the sake of comparison.

      I got my current job during law school, so I have never had to think about any of this stuff. One day per month just seems so low to me…. I need to look in to the sick day situation as well, because additional “sick” days on top of the 12 vacation days per year could be OK. Eeeeeks!

    • Geezerette :

      This is about what new staff get at my university. The amount of leave increases with longevity. We do get the week between Christmas and New Year’s and Good Friday and Easter Monday off, most of the usual national holidays, plus three “personal days” per year. Sick leave is different, but also increases with longevity.

    • anon for this :

      Remember that with a university, you may get other days off other than “standard” holidays. We get the usual holidays (including both the Friday and Monday around Easter) plus the whole week between Christmas and New Years. That makes a big difference when you look at total days off.

    • My dh works for a college as an instructional designer. He accrues 1.67 vacation days per month worked in addition to having a flex day per month, 5 days he must take around Christmas time, and a very generous sick leave policy. He is not a union employee, and even though we live in Canada, the policy at his institution is generous compared to corporations. I believe they are extra generous in leave time because their wages are not very high considering the education requirements of his position (Masters degree).

    • dancinglonghorn :

      In the state of Texas, that’s the standard government worker vacation policy…at least at the 2 state institutions I worked. If the university is a state school, it may be the standard policy.

  12. I went on a job interview this morning and now I can’t concentrate at work because all I can think about is how it went. Ahhh. I hate interviews, I feel like I just babble on and on.

    • Anonymous NYer :

      same thing happened to me 2 weeks ago. I’m still thinking about the interview (I don’t expect to hear anytime soon – which is normal). I completely commiserate with you. I’m still replaying the worst answer ever to come out of my babbling mouth for a fairly simple question. ugh.

  13. MaggieLizer :

    Someone posted about a beige Elie Tahari top at Nordie’s not long ago (385116) and was debating pulling the trigger in part because of price. It’s on sale now, FYI.

  14. lucy stone :

    I am getting marred in June and can’t find wedding shoes. Corporette, I need your help!

    My dress is the Dolly Couture Avila Bay in ivory over champagne with the champagne waistband. I’ll post links below to avoid moderation. I am looking for a fun pair of heels to go with this that have no more than 3″ heel because the future Mr. Lucy Stone is only 2″ taller than me. I was thinking about gold glitter shoes but am worried that might to be too wild for my conservative in-laws. The ceremony is a Catholic wedding outside the Mass and our reception is at a golf course. Bridesmaids are wearing teal dresses, groomsmen are wearing tan suits. I’m willing to spend up to $300 if I think I can wear them again.

    • lucy stone :

      This is the dress on the manufacturer’s website: http://www.dollycouture.com/pink-label/avilabay-short-wedding-dress-1405.html

    • Former MidLevel :

      First of all, this is a lovely dress! My wedding dress was a similar length and I wore pale gold sandals—albeit without sparkles.

    • momentsofabsurdity :

      I think gold glitter pumps would be adorable, but if you think it might be too out there, what about silver glitter, which would “blend” more with the white of your dress?

      • lucy stone :

        My dress is the ivory lace over champagne, so it’s a little less white and a little more gold. I am the world’s palest blonde (I think the Twilight kids are tanner than me).

    • just Karen :

      With your budget, check out the options at Milk & Honey – you design your own shoes, get to pick out all the details to make them perfect for you. If I had money in my budget for them, that would have been my choice hands down.

      • lucy stone :

        I am overwhelmed by the options there! I keep going back to it but I think I need to see an actual shoe before I order it.

    • karenpadi :

      Oooh. I’m going to love/hate you. That was going to be my wedding dress. Great minds think alike.

      Congrats on your big day!

    • phillygirlruns :

      that is a fabulous dress. please don’t choose your wedding shoes to make your inlaws happy – there are only a few times where you can wear gold glitter shoes without anyone batting an eye.

      • lucy stone :

        My in-laws are a bit off (see, can you reschedule your honeymoon for our hastily planned wedding?) but I think you are right.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      I pinned 81 pairs of 3″ heels on my Pinterest board for my wedding. I ended up buying the Jimmy Choo Logan d’Orsay ($495) at Saks and love them to pieces. Front runners were Kate Spades (note that Neiman sometimes carries different styles than the KS site) which were around $300, the Badgley “Salsa” d’Orsay, Hey Lady shoes, and Milk & Honey.

      Your in-laws can get over it :). Gold glitter are not too much, especially if it’s not super flashy glitter a la Jimmy Choo style as opposed to Steve Madden -style. Are you going to be walking on grass at all though? You don’t want to be aerating the golf course all day.

      • lucy stone :

        Thanks for sharing! What is your Pinterest, if you don’t mind my asking?

        I don’t think we’ll be on grass much and I do have fun flip flops to wear while walking around to take photos in between shots, so I don’t make any extra holes.

    • Kate Spade Charm shoes. They also have a flats version, I believe. BHLDN, Anthropologie’s wedding store has ADORABLE shoes including blue which make me want to get married all over again (same guy, better shoes!). Congratulations!

    • Curious about the ceremony? We want to do a Catholic ceremony outside but we thought it wasn’t possible? Are there other options that you know of?

      • lucy stone :

        I meant outside the Mass in that there won’t be Communion since my fiance is not Catholic. Our wedding will be inside at a church.

        • That’s a great way of working around the different religions thing.

          My DH is Catholic, I’m not, and we had an outdoor wedding ceremony, but performed by a family friend who is also a Catholic priest and seminary prof. So, we did not have a Catholic ceremony, although it was nice to have a Catholic priest (and presence) to it.

    • Saw a neat DIY project on pinterest- the person glued gold glitter (say that 5 times fast) on her heels. It was on the visible part of the soles, like Louboutins but glittery. So you could do more conservative cream heels with a kick. I can’t vouch for how well the glitter will stay though. I’m having visions of a glittery-footprinted aisle runner

      • lucy stone :

        I like this idea very much! I was going to write our initials on the bottoms of my shoes but perhaps I’ll glitter them instead.

  15. Mad Men & Downton Abbey Threadjack:

    http://www.slate.com/slideshows/arts/pairing-up-the-heroes-of-downton-abbey-with-their-mad-men-soul-mates.html?wpisrc=msn_gallery#slide_1

    This Slate piece pairs up Downton Abbey characters with their character analogues on Mad Men. Love it!

  16. Did I hallucinate? (Possible– been working too many hrs on too few hours of sleep)

    My post seemed to have disappeared.

    For those who like Mad Men & Downton Abbey, Slate put together a slideshow pairing the Downton Abbey characters with their analogues on Mad Men:
    http://www.slate.com/slideshows/arts/pairing-up-the-heroes-of-downton-abbey-with-their-mad-men-soul-mates.html?wpisrc=msn_gallery#slide_1

    • *headdesk*

      Never attribute to hallucination what is merely website delay. *sigh*

      Another threadjack:
      Do you have any friends at your company?

      By friends, I mean someone you’d invite over to your apartment/house and vice versa, and someone you’d stay friends with even after one or both of you left your firm. In the building where I’m at, there’s about 400+ people, and many I’m on great terms with, but only 2 friends.

      • Meh. There are 50-70 staff members at my office, and I have a positive working relationship with everyone I interact with, but I wouldn’t say that I have “friends.” I live with a coworker, who sucks as a human but is mostly tolerable as a roommate; then I have a coworker + his wife that I hang out with once every couple of months, but I don’t see us keeping in touch after I move; and finally there is my work “best friend,” who is the person I go to when I need to vent (or vice versa), but due to her having a toddler and living 45 minutes away, we’ve never been to each others’ homes. I will probably stay in casual touch with her when I leave. In conclusion: meh again.

        • Wow. I have to give you credit just for the civility and self-control alone– I don’t think I could live with a coworker who sucked as a human (but was mostly tolerable as a roommate.)

          I think it’s mostly a crapshoot. You never know when or where you’ll meet someone you’ll become great friends with, but one should probably not expect it of any workplace. If it happens, it’s great, if not, then life goes on and one can seek one’s friends elsewhere.

  17. I need some advice. I’m a 2L and I’m working part-time as a law clerk at a firm. Recently, another law student started working with me. She is constantly asking for my help. I honestly don’t mind helping with a time-sensitive project when someone legitimately needs my help. It seems that she doesn’t actually need the help though; she just doesn’t want to do the work. For instance, yesterday after asking for help she started chatting about a book she was reading on her computer. I helped out the first time she asked me, and since then every time I’ve come into work she’s asked for help. I get the sense that if I let her, I’d spend most of my time helping her with her assignments (for which she will get the credit). I’m hoping to eventually work at this firm, so I need to do work for which I will get the credit. I have no problem saying no when I have assignments of my own to do. When I don’t have work, though, I don’t know whether to seek out work of my own or help her out. If she was legitimately swamped I wouldn’t mind helping, but I can’t tell when she actually needs help and when she just wants someone else to do the less interesting work for her. Any advice?

    • Former MidLevel :

      When you don’t have work, seek out new work. If people don’t have projects for you, ask if you can observe their next hearing/dep/whatever. And in the meantime, you have no obligation to “help” her by doing her work for her.

      Remember, when she asks for help, you have every right to say “no.” Period. No explanation needed.

  18. Let me just say, I love it when protracted fighting with the government about taxes results in the feds sending me money. That is all. :-)

  19. Threadjack: What criteria/how long do you give a new city before you decide that you want to move back to your original city/hometown? Last July moved to NYC from Chicago for my then long-distance relationship of 3 years. Very shortly after, said relationship ended. Not an attorney, but I work in the field. Not in love with my job, but I knew that going in. My priority was to enjoy my relationship and have fun in the city for a while, then re-focus on moving on to a more rewarding job.

    I’ve been slooow to make friends. Did date someone new but that didn’t work out. I feel like I’m in a constant state of new-ness. It’s uncomfortable. Moving home has crossed my mind, but if I do, I want to make sure it is for the right reasons. If I ask my family, their answer is always “move home”. Also, I’m not the type to go running home when things don’t work out & I knew the risk involved when I moved here.

    Single, no kids, 29, no other reason than family(who have their own lives) to go back to Chicago. Although, I do enjoy Chicago. Maybe I just need to find my niche in life. If I did that , I suppose I could be happy here or there. Thoughts?

    • I would apply for jobs in Chicago and see what happens.

      I’m getting the sense that the thing holding you back is that you think you would be “quitting” if you go back or that you “knew the risks” and therefore need to bear the consequences. But life is too short to live in a place you don’t like with a job you don’t love for those types of reasons.

      Plus, Chicago is awesome! :)

    • My experience is that NYC is a difficult city to thrive in unless you are super focused with a clear goal in mind, which you don’t seem to have. I would first figure out if there is something like this inside you before deciding yea or nay on the city.

    • Backgrounder :

      I’m single, 29, no kids and did the move from Chi to NYC and back from NYC to Chi. The first move to NYC was after grad school and I stayed in the city less than 2 years. I would say NYC, and it sounds so cliche to say, is one of those places where you pretty much love it and are willing to make the sacrifices to live there or you hate it. I fell into the latter category. The cost of living was way too high and I felt like I was constantly in the “rat race” there to keep up professionally, socially, financially, etc.

      I made the choice to move back to Chicago after an internal transfer came up at my job. My parents live outside of Chicago as well so that also influenced my decision to move back. Overall, I’ve been happy back in the Chi and the cost of living certainly is much less. I personally think Chicago offers all of the same amenities (night life, plays, cultural events, etc) as NYC but at a lower cost. The only dilemma I have is now that I’ve moved back here is that all my friends from grad school and elsewhere have migrated back to the East Coast so it’s ironically been slower making friends here than in NYC.

      Just my 2 cents and experience though.

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