Wednesday’s TPS Report: Merino Crewneck Cardigan

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Merino Crewneck CardiganBrooks Brothers has some great sales going on in their Black Fleece section. While I normally can’t stand any of the styling in that section (they look so bored yet angry at the same time), I can’t deny that the clothes look great. This merino crewneck cardigan, for example, has mother of pearl buttons, grosgrain at the placket, and — so cute! — sleeve cuffs, a feature I see all too rarely on sweaters. I like the cobalt details, too (it’s also available in a bright blue with navy details). Was $395, now marked to $158, at Brooks Brothers. Merino Crewneck Cardigan

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Comments

  1. That’s really cute. I still wouldn’t pay $158 for a sweater, but it is awfully cute.

    • Agreed. Unless perhaps it came with some sort of guarantee.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        Like a guarantee that every time you leave the house in it that you receive compliments, free coffees, and your employer gives you a raise? Because that sounds nice. ;-)

        • Throw in a pony and I’m sold.

          I’d also settle for something that didn’t pill after just a few wears.

          • Cb, what do people there wear in the chilly winters?

          • It’s comparatively mild, only a week or two of snow this year. Mostly jumpers, jeans, and skirts with thick tights. I spent my winter in a wool coat, wool skirts, fleece lined tights, and light-ish jumpers, hats, scarves, gloves.

          • You said “jumper” :)

    • anon-oh-no :

      really? just as a matter of course you wouldnt pay $158 for a sweater? Or for this particular sweater?

      How do you decied what, as a matter of course, you would not pay $x for? I dont have those type of rules. Obviously there are things i cant afford and things i dont like that much to pay what they are asking for it, but otherwise, if I like something and i have the money (and I’m shopping), Ill buy it.

      • As a matter of course, I wouldn’t pay over $200 for almost any item of clothing, but I recognize that puts me in the minority on This Site. It’s not really a conscious decision – it’s more likely, any amount over that just feels over a mental threshold that I don’t want to breach.

        • That would make an interesting topic for a (later – too late here) thread – what’s the max you would pay for X item of clothing.

          Anonymous, I completely hear your wouldn’t pay over $200 – personally, I would be hard pressed to pay over $100 for most individual items (except perhaps very nice dresses or outerwear, but even then, it would have to be for something that I really like). That said, most of my nice clothes are gifts from my husband, who will spend more than I will.

          I’m constantly in shock over what is considered a “bargain” here. But I know that I’m a cheapskate, too. :)

          • Sydney Bristow :

            Lyssa, my limits are similar. I don’t really go over $100 except for a coat that I love or shoes that I’d wear all the time.

      • I’m a total cheapskate when it comes to clothing. As a general rule, I won’t pay over $50 or so for a sweater or a casual dress, $75 for jeans or a blazer and about $100 or so for a work dress. I will rarely buy something more expensive if 1) I love it, 2) its classic and something I know I will wear for years, 3) it seems well-made and 4) its versatile and will work with lots of things in my wardrobe. Not many things fit all four categories, so I rarely buy stuff outside of my typical price range. I’m not into shoes at all and usually get <$25 shoes at DSW or Payless. My splurge is handbags and I buy a couple $300 or so (usually Coach but not the ones covered in C's) handbags a year. I don't put a large amount of my budget into clothing (I prioritize other things like travel and meals out, as well as saving) and buying cheaper clothing allows me to buy more pieces. Back when I was younger and more into labels, I bought some more expensive things, and I haven't found $100 sweaters to hold up better or last longer than the $20 Merona sweaters I get at Target. I'd rather get the $20 sweater and spend the rest on something else, or even get several $20 sweaters so I can have different colors and styles. I get the majority of my wardrobe at Target, Old Navy, and H&M and during sales at stores like Gap, Banana, Ann Taylor, Talbot's and The Limited.

  2. Threadjack - Law and Mental Health :

    I’ve seen a few threads and comments touching on this topic recently and I’m starting to worry.

    (Details vague for anonymity).

    I’m a mid-to-senior level associate, practicing in the same state since I graduated. No issues with admission to the bar. A few years ago, I started seeing a therapist (approx once every 2-3 weeks) to talk through some personal issues. No previous therapy. No medications. But I do go through insurance. I think her diagnosis was “general anxiety” or something like that.

    Recent comments are making me worry that, if/when we move to a different state and I apply for admission to that state’s bar, this therapy is going to become a problem. Am I overreacting?

    • I think you’re overreacting. You’ll probably have to disclose you’ve been seeing her, but if state bars refused to admit anyone who had seen a therapist for anxiety, the ranks of lawyers will drop to almost zero.

      • “… if the state bars refused to admit anyone who had seen a therapist for anxiety, the ranks of lawyers will drop to almost zero.”

        This. I think the state bar realizes that law is (a) stressful and anxiety causing and (b) would prefer people address that instead of foregoing help.

      • It is NOT a bad thing to see a counselor. In fact, when I was thru with Alan, I saw a theraepist for 2 month’s. She told me I was the better person to get OUT of a stifeleing relationship, and that NO ONE deserved to be treated as a maid and a sexueal object. FOOEY ON HIM!

        That, she said is the PRODUCT of alchoholism. She wanted me to go to Al Anon, but the NAME was to close to Alan, so I decideded I was OVER him, and when I did, that was it.

        The manageing partner paid for those treatement’s OUT OF POCKET b/c he knew how valueable I was to the FIRM and that I would be over him soon, b/c there were SO many other men at that time that wanted to date me. I agreed to take the remembursement and now I am ALL better. YAY!!!!!

    • I’ve been undergoing therapy and taking anti-anxiety medication for years. It was never an issue with bar admission.

    • If state bars excluded all the lawyers who have ever sought mental health treatment, they would solve the lack of jobs crisis for new lawyers. I think you are fine. I’m not trying to be glib, but even if asked, it sounds like your treatment isn’t going to negatively impact a bar application.

    • Cornellian :

      I think you’ll be fine. I had a friend who was hospitalized twice for suicide attempts in college, and although they asked him about it in his interview, it was fine. But yes, it will probably need to be disclosed.

    • My psychiatrist wouldn’t even fill out the character and fitness form on mental health treatment when I brought it to him because he said he felt my issues didn’t rise to the level of required reporting.

    • My state actually requires that our CLE credits include a certain number of hours of mental health and substance abuse credits every year. The stigma isn’t nearly what it was at one time — I think bar associations across the country have realized that this is a really stressful field full of really stressed out people, and that those of us who aren’t in therapy probably should consider it.

      • I wish we had this! I see a lot of alcoholism in my peers.

        • Yeah, it’s a really good idea. I have no idea what the statistics are on whether it’s making a difference in the general mental health of the profession, but I appreciate that the bar at least acknowledges that it’s a huge concern.

    • This will definitely not be an issue, at all. Practically every lawyer is in therapy or has been at some point!

    • I’d think it’d be a civil rights violation if it did cause a problem.

    • just Karen :

      I have been admitted to the Bar in two states while on antidepressants – I disclosed, and there was absolutely no problem. Agreed with the above comments that it reflects well on you that you sought help to keep yourself healthy.

    • anonforthis :

      In Indiana, I had to discuss it with my character & fitness interviewer, but it wasn’t an issue. In Texas, I believe I had to disclose it, but, again, no issue. Pretty sure I saw a statistic at some point that more than 40% of attorneys are being treated or have been treated at some point for mental health issues–you’re in good (and plentiful!) company.

    • OP: it pains me to say this, but you are not overreacting. It depends very much on the particular jurisdiction, so if you have an idea of where you might practice in the future, I encourage you to look at those states’ bar application forms and disclosure requirements. Do it as early as possible.

      In many states, seeking treatment for a mental health issue, or support for addiction or alcoholism, for example, is of absolutely no consequence. There are, however, jurisdictions that will make it very difficult for you to practice–even if you’re already admitted and in good standing in another state–for the mere fact of having met with a mental health professional. I am personally involved in lawyer assistance programs, and I’ve seen it happen. It’s hideous and wrong and shameful, but it happens.

      I don’t want to scare you, but this is the reality in some states. You are not overreacting, and you are wise to be thinking about this issue at this stage.

      TL;DR:

      Mental health treatment (as well as addiction, alcoholism, and criminal records) is something a lot of law students, would-be lawyers, and already-admitted lawyers don’t think about until they’ve invested years of their lives and hundreds of thousands of dollars in tuition and fees. It shouldn’t be a barrier to the profession, but in some jurisdictions, it absolutely is. There are states where the mere fact of having sought treatment can be enough to prevent you from practicing–even if you are already admitted in another state. On the flip side, there are people out there who want to help you and advocate for you if you find yourself in a difficult situation. If you need help finding those people and organizations, please hit me up.

  3. darjeeling :

    Wow, that is SUPER cute. Great pick!

  4. Anonymous :

    Just wanted to say I appreciated the firearm discussion yesterday – it made me think a lot.

    I have a question – for those of you who support in home gun ownership for citizens, would you support law mandates about gun storage (some people mentioned safes, etc), mandatory insurance for gun owners, or holding gun owners liable if they do not store their guns appropriately and someone is hurt, or if they do not follow appropriate sale procedures and end up privately selling their guns to a criminal who uses it to harm others?

    • Cornellian :

      I don’t own guns, but think in the abstract people should be able to. I’ve shot guns and think it’s a legitimate hobby, and date a serious hunter with upwards of five guns and lots of other arms. I won’t personally live in a house unless the ammo is stored separately and there are locks through the trigger. I’m not sure those sorts of storage requirements should be required of everyone, but I’m super in to the idea of insurance being mandatory for guns like it is for cars. I’m not sure how it would work from a constitutional perspective, but it seems like it could be tailored in a way to make it pass muster. Everyone needs insurance, it’s cheaper for less dangerous guns and if you take lots of training courses, like car insurance gets cheaper if you take defensive driving. If you don’t store your guns safely and your psychotic son (or curious five year old) gets a hold of them, it’s on you.

      It is INSANE how screwed victims of gunshot wounds are. They might get urgent care for free, but those without health insurance (or with crappy health insurance) can’t get follow-up coverage, which is unbelievable. Yes, they can sue the shooter. But usually shooters are nto financially solvent people with bright financial futures who can pay judgments to their victims. it should be more like car insurance.

    • In order of your questions –

      No. Yes. No. Yes.

      • No, Yes, Uncertain, Yes.

        I’d be very interested in hearing arguments about the third question from both pro- and anti- gun people. Not being a gun owner myself, I think there are probably a lot of dimensions to the issue that I’m unaware of.

    • The problem with laws about gun storage is how they are to be enforced. Can the government go into your house if you have a gun license and make sure you’re storing it properly? I would have a major problem with that, but I lean toward libertarianism. I generally want the government out of my house.

      • Well for me it’s sort of the same as the laws about car registration, or laws mandating insurance coverage when you drive. You can “get away” with not having those things, but when you get caught its a PITA, so most people go ahead and do them (which makes things safer/better for everyone).

        I imagine whatever gun laws are in place, there will be people who don’t follow them, but I would think by mandating appropriate storage, you could greatly reduce at least the number of accidental gun deaths. Of course, stupid people will always be stupid (I am remembering that case in CO, a few years back, where a husband and wife were doing a “home invader” security drill where the husband pretended to be breaking in with a gun, and he ended up accidentally *actually* shooting and killing his wife) but I imagine you could at least cut the rates down.

      • The other thing is children. Kids are killed in gun accidents regularly. Some are cleaning guns. Some are playing with guns. Some are under the supervision of an adult, and some aren’t.

        Chances are, if you’re the kind of parent whose kid is playing with a gun outside your supervision, you aren’t the kind of parent that is responsible in a lot of other ways either.

    • I don’t really support gun ownership other than for recreational purposes, but we have a lot of guns in our home for work/recreation/protection. Although I was the one who said people should have to take a course on gun safety, I don’t really support laws requiring safe storage because they can be very expensive. However, I think having an operational gun in a home with children that is not locked (taking out the firing pin isn’t good enough for me) rises to the level of child endangerment and should be prosecuted as such in the event something happens.

      I guess it depends on your state, but in mine “appropriate” sale procedures really can’t prevent you from selling to a criminal in a private sale. My husband asks for their driver’s license and makes them fill out a form where they sign a statement saying that can legally own a gun, etc. but honestly, he could be selling to a criminal and would have no idea.

      I’m interested in what you mean by insuring guns. Do you mean liability insurance? Beyond 2nd amendment issues (because I believe there are limits on all of our constitutional freedoms), I’m not sure that from a business standpoint you could ever find an insurance pool for that.

    • I know that this is specifically about guns, but I can’t support extending laws to citizens on any topic beyond generally. In a state where I lived once, it was illegal to have a bike without a horn on it. Known to most people? Unlikely, given that horns on bikes are largely for the lunchbox and grade school set (I prefer a bell). But should someone have to suffer any consequence for not knowing that?

      Ditto for anything that’s not per se bad (so: killing people — it’s one of the 10 commandments and also illegal and yet people do it). These things I don’t see as meaningfully preventing bad things from happening and can be a significant trap for the unwary (and upping the odds of selective enforcement — one jurisdiction may charge it a lot and another may have too much real crime to bother with things like this).

      I’m a lawyer and really think that there are so many laws that they are essentially unknowable for the typical person (in the jurisdiction in which they live, never mind if they go to another locality or state). I don’t want to make criminals of people who are just going through their lives and would rather focus on the bad actors for their bad acts (as opposed to clerical errors; it’s OK to get Al Capone for tax evasion, but not to get Grandma for a bad act done by her grandson — go after the grandson).

    • No, no, yes, no. What’s next, requiring knives to be in a kid proof drawer? Random inspections to make sure the guns and knives are locked up correctly? There should be some level of personal responsibility, the government does not need to police everything that goes on inside a person’s home.

    • Woods-comma-Elle :

      I missed the gun discussion, though have scanned through it now. I find this particularly interesting because here in the UK it’s not even a debate. Nobody wants guns. Nobody can have guns. Police officers don’t carry guns (except the airport ones). The number of people who believe that everyone should be allowed to buy handguns is miniscule so this never even comes up.

      I am completely anti-guns, but I also recognise that this is at least in large part a consequence of my culture/upbringing etc. If I had grown up in, say, Texas or if my parents liked to hunt, I may feel differently.

      Here’s my question. Perhaps I shouldn’t ask this so as not to open up the debate again, but here goes. There is a view that having a handgun in your house offers you protection from intruders etc. However, there is also a what seems like generally accepted view that guns should be stored in houses in a safe manner for example in safes, with the safety on, no bullets in etc. There is a conflict here, I think.

      If your gun is in a safe and someone breaks into your house, how is that going to help you? You might not have time to go to the safe. Or if the guns are not in your bedroom, maybe the intruder will get to them first (if you just have them in a case and not a safe). Just a thought. The gun doesn’t protect you if it’s in a safe, so why do you need to have it in your house at all?

      • I think that the two things that are most likely to kill my children are car accidents and swimming accidents. Both of which are almost totally preventable (or able to minimize the harm), but are a complete pain in the butt to do in a safe manner.

        Car: big, safe car, driven safely, with proper safety equipment for children (which is a pain to clean when they throw up on, which they will), and no phone / texting (so my husband, who would not have an unlocked gun, calls me when he knows I’m driving with them — dude, the phone’s in my bag on the floor next to my seat — not only can’t I get it, I won’t get it; it can wait). Now if the other drivers could stop talking / texting as they drive . . .

        Swimming: lessons, lessons, lessons (which are never close to an uptown office job and never seem to have free time on the weekends) and a non-distracted adult in the pool at all times until they can swim (which I think of an Olympic pool length, unaided) and then nearby. So if someone has to pee, we all have to get out and go.

        HUGE PITAs to do everything right. And yet, you can’t control everything (visiting people with unlocked-up pool, other drivers). You do your best.

      • Woods-comma-Elle, I am an American and I have the same questions.

    • In answer to your questions: no, no, no, yes.

      Truly I feel like this is a case by case basis. Who’s to say what is “proper” storage for guns? If you live in a kid-less household, having guns in the closet doesn’t bother me. But if a guest comes into your house and uses your gun to shoot someone, why should you be liable? Under most circumstances, you probably had no idea your guest was going to do so.

      Also, to the one yes: I think you should always follow proper procedure to sell guns, but if you DO follow proper procedure, and the person still turns out to be a criminal, that’s not your fault. You tried to the best of your ability but had no idea.

  5. Any ideas for birthday gifts for boy and girl twins turning one? Plus a gold star if it can be ordered on Amazon Prime.

  6. My fruitless search for bright yellow shoes continues. These aren’t the style I had in mind at all, but something about them strikes me as adorable. But are they really just super frumpy and grandma-esque? I am not trusting my own judgment here… Also, can anyone speak to comfort? I would hate for this kind of shoe to be uncomfortable (I’m willing to suffer for gorgeous heels, but not round toe chunky low ones). Thanks in advance!
    http://www.jcrew.com/womens_special_sizes/sizes512shoes/size5/PRDOVR~98428/99102869692/ENE~1+2+3+22+4294967294+20~~~20+17+4294966707+105~90~~~~~~~/98428.jsp

  7. Hi all, this is the poster who posted Thursday last week about realizing a parent may have abused her. I just wanted to check back in and say thanks to every single person who commented. I’ve been trying to take better care of myself (despite things getting awkward this week because I had to accept said parent’s help with something which resulted in “they helped me with this, how can what happened really be that bad, I’m overreacting like they always said”). I actually cooked last night instead of getting delivery or a tv dinner — granted it was pasta, but still.

    Since my last post I hadn’t worked myself up to calling a crisis hotline or doing the RAINN online hotline, but the crisis center counseling service had promised to call me back Tuesday (yesterday) and I told myself (per your advice) I would not restrict myself to only appointments outside my work schedule because taking care of this is important… well it worked out anyway because they had an appointment open up this evening! After work today I’ll be getting dinner with my SO, who is coming into town to support me, and then going to my first counseling appointment. Thanks again everyone. I’m glad I follow this site — I knew immediately I could post here and get heartfelt advice, and I did. Y’all are fantastic!

  8. Non-smelly self tanner? :

    Hey guys. I need to have a little color for a wedding this weekend (wearing a champagne-colored dress as a bridesmaid!) and despite wanting an airbrush tan, I just won’t have the time for an appointment between now and then. Can anyone recommend a self-tanner (preferably that can be found at a drugstore) that doesn’t SMELL like self tanner?

    I tried the Jergens foam one and although it is admittedly better than their lotion used to be, it still smelled enough that I could smell it on my legs for the entire work day yesterday.

    Thanks!!!

  9. Any suggestions for firming lotions that work well?

  10. Homeland -- Carrie's Suit :

    Do we know what brand /style black suit that Carrie has been wearing for two seasons of Homeland? I like it! [I think it’s one suit that she rewears, but it never sticks out as “Carrie wore that suit earlier in the week,” it’s just “Carrie’s at work,” the way a good suit should be. I know that the show must have a rack of them to keep them looking fresh. But a suit that holds up for manic breakdown / bombings / hooking up / getting arrested / etc. might survive what I throw at it.

    My prior black pantsuit was very Hillary Clinton, so I’d like to upgrade to The Carrie. Any thoughts?

    • Looks like Theory to me. She is beautifully dressed.

      • Pantsuit -- Theory Novice :

        So when is a good time to look for a Theory pantsuit? The NAS? Other stores friends-and-family sales? Or do they never go on sale?

        I am a Theory novice (and not sure how they compare to JCrew in terms of fit / look / drape / overall style) and appreciate any advice.

        • They’re on sale in the NAS now. I go up one from my normal size in the jacket and the skirt, but the pants seem to fit me in my normal size. But, the pants are a bit short–I’m 5’8″ and they are perfect length for flats but too short for any kind of heel. For me, they fit better than J Crew suits–I always have to tailor J Crew but Theory fits me off the rack.

        • Nordie’s has free tailoring, so may as well let some hem out when you purchase.

  11. anonforthis :

    Long time lurker, first time posting for some career advice from the hive. I’m an attorney. I practiced for 2 years in one state and moved (following husband’s job) to another state. Because of the timing of the move and the (ridiculously long) time it took to get bar results, I was unemployed for nearly 11 months until joining a small firm two months ago. Owner of the firm told me that business was going to pick up and that I could expect to have a full caseload soon. Because I am being paid by billable hours collected, this was very important…two months in, and business is slower than it was when I got here! She does not seem concerned and isn’t doing anything to correct. I’m thinking of moving on but am worried that having such a short tenure at a job will hurt my work history…thoughts?

    • Haven’t been in this situation, but I think that if you explained to whomever you interviewed with exactly what you just said here, no one would ding you for it.

      • You may not be able to change the collection rate given the client mix and that’s understandable. I would also be prepared to answer the follow-up question of what you are doing to help the situation. Are you trying to bring in new clients, are you trying to develop the existing clients, are all the hours you are billing making onto the bill or is she having to cut time, that sort of thing.

        • anonforthis :

          I’m trying to bring in and develop, but she’s unwilling to advertise the firm at all. She also shoots down any ideas for community development that I have. To give an idea, I have billed about 8 hours in the last two weeks (and she’s only billed about 4 hours in that period–so it’s not that there’s work that I’m not getting)!

        • This is an unfortunate situation. Someone with 2 years experience should still be focusing on building skills, not rainmaking. My first job out of law school was similar, though thankfully my pay was not based on my billables. Obviously it’s not ideal to leave a job after 2 months, but you should look for other opportunities/put feelers out. Just focus on what is the different about the job you are applying for and make a case that that is the reason you want to make a change.

        • What about pro bono hours? You could be building your network (and thereby bringing in business) by being on nonprofit boards, volunteering at community events, etc.

          • anonforthis :

            I’m involved in my community but don’t get any credit for it with the firm. As far as pro bono cases, we are allowed only one per year, so that’s not taking up a lot of my time… I am on a few court appointment lists, so that should help some, but I’m not optimistic that it will solve the problem.

    • I don’t think it hurts to say that business has been slower than expected and you’re looking for something more.

    • saacnmama :

      Could you take on consulting work and then see if that “happens” to grow into something else?

  12. Does anyone have an idea of how Dorothy Perkins sizing works? Some of the shells/sheath dresses are so adorable but I’m hesitant to order online without getting a better idea of the sizing.

    Thanks all!

  13. I’m the person who was asking this weekend about cold-calling attorneys to set up informational interviews. Just found out that a grad school colleague knows the director of a 900-person unit at THE international agency in this field. She’s not in the location we’ll be traveling to in a few weeks, but she might be able to set me up for coffee with someone. She lives in the location I’d love to be in.

  14. OverandOut :

    I am leaving my biglaw job after near on three (mostly wonderful) years to make a geographic move, primarily for personal reasons. I already have the next job lined up, and have told my closest work friends, but I had planned on waiting a bit longer to tell some of the higher-ups (partners, etc.). I am still well out in front of any notice requirement (by a matter of weeks), but the way my appointments/assignments are lining up, I realized that today is the more natural day to tell these people, rather than artificially waiting a few more days. I’m happy and excited about my next step, but I’m still having a hard time psyching myself up to tell people, particularly the ones I’ve known and worked for a lot. I feel like my conversations are going to be along “it’s not you, it’s me” lines – if I didn’t want to ultimately be in another area of the world, I wouldn’t be leaving right now, but I know that this is the next step I want to take. Everyone close to me has said that they’re sure my job will be sad to see me go, but how do I get over the hurdle of getting the words out? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated at this point – I just feel like in leaving, I’m letting people down who have helped me a lot in getting me to where I am today.

    • LeChouette :

      I am in basically your same exact position and totally dreading. it. I think my only advice is to remember that, at any Big Law firm, almost everyone leaves eventually. While your higher ups might be disappointed they will undoubtedly not be incredibly surprised, as nearly every associate they liked over the years has left eventually.

      Are you telling people in person? I know its probably the right thing to do but having fantasies of telling everyone over the phone.

      • OverandOut :

        Yes, in person. I think I’d be even more jittery over the phone. I know I’ve got to put on my big girl shorts and just do it, and I know that everyone will be happy and say the right thing/be supportive, but it’s just a knot in the pit of my stomach at the moment. Maybe it’s for the best to get it out of the way…

    • It’s natural and expected that people leave biglaw jobs. The business model is based on attrition, so even if they’re sad to see you go because they like you as a person, it won’t come as a huge surprise or slap in the face (especially after only 3 years). Just thank them for the wonderful learning opportunities and make sure they know how grateful you were for working with them. Congrats!

    • Make sure you do it quickly. I’d tell your immediate supervisor first, and then go *immediately* to others you want to tell in person. If you supervise anyone, they should hear it from you, as a group. “I want you all to know that I just told Jan that I am resigning effective June 15, and will be moving to Chicago.” (Or whatever.)

      Recognize that as soon as you tell one person, the news will travel among everyone else. So tell the people you want to tell in person as quickly as possible after you tell the first one.

      • Anonymous :

        You mean quickly as in soon, or as in be fast once she starts it? I was thinking that if she has vacay time left, she could schedule it for the weeks she’ll be moving, thus extending the amount of time before she has to tell without inconveniencing people by having things on her calander when she won’t be there.

        • I meant that as soon as she tells one person, it will spread like wildfire, so if there are other people she wants to tell in person, she should book it to their office immediately before they find out through the grapevine.

  15. Corso Como 'Del' shoes :

    Does anyone have these shoes? I thought I read about them on this site before I ordered them. They just arrived, and somewhere I read that I should order one half-size up, so I ordered in two sizes. The size I regularly wear is a touch tight, but the half-size up feels a touch too big. Do they stretch at all?
    Thanks!

  16. S in Chicago :

    PSA: MZ Wallace sale is on! If you sign up for their emails, you can get in today.

  17. I wore the dress below to a more casual wedding (wore it with flat sandals), and now I’m hoping to be able to wear it again to a slightly dressier wedding. I’m thinking strappy sandals, but should I go with nude or gold? Or a different type of heel?

    http://www.loft.com/loft/product/product%3A298942/product%3A298942/Notched-Neck-Slubbed-Shift-Dress/298942?colorExplode=false&skuId=13900045&catid=catl000013&productPageType=fullPriceProducts&defaultColor=8287

  18. Does anyone in NYC have experience with the FedKids childcare program? We’re considering it but would love to hear any personal experiences. Other ideas welcome, too.

  19. Changing job question.
    I’m a 3rd year lawyer working at a small-mid size firm in NY. I just got an offer at a large (but not one of the ones that do lock step) firm that is based in NY/London. I’ll be working in Singapore & HK.
    They want me to start as a 1st year– is this normal?
    What should I be asking for as compensation? Salary & Extras?
    Any advise would be super helpful.
    Thanks!
    (might post again tmrw too for more advice)

    • btw it’s the same area of law.

    • I don’t think it’s unusual to take a “years haircut” if you are moving from small-mid to biglaw. I would ask for relocation (e.g. moving expenses/shipping/customs), housing stipend (this is pretty common for expat attorneys), corporate housing for your first few weeks or 2 months, broker’s fee for apt, find out if you are a “local hire” or will be put on payroll through a US entity, ask for tax preparation advice/covering the cost of that, travel (e.g. your ticket there AND a ticket home when you are leaving). I haven’t lived in Sing/HK (but have friends who have done) and I don’t think that any of this is out of line. I worked in my firm’s London office for a bit, and all of the above was standard (except that it was a rotational thing, so the return was all baked in because they were supposed to return to the mother ship in NY after their rotation). Enjoy your next adventure.

    • I don’t think it’s that unusual to get dinged, but you may want to make an issue of it. Perhaps you can negotiate in advance to be bumped back up to a higher year if you hit your hours, have a good review, etc.

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