Weekend Open Thread

Classiques Entier 'Carlotta' Tweed & Ponte Moto Jacket | CorporetteSomething on your mind? Chat about it here.

I love tweed, and I love moto jackets, so of course I love this jacket that combines them both. Tweed always looks so luxe and classic to me, and I like it best when it’s paired with something fun — here, the moto jacket style. I’m a total sucker for that asymmetrical zipper, and while I wouldn’t wear this to the office, I would totally wear it with boyfriend jeans and a plain t-shirt (why not white?) for a fabulous weekend of flea-market shopping, leisurely hotspot brunching, and Match.com dates that are sure to be full of laughter and good chemistry (or, okay, more likely a weekend of oversleeping, buying too much at Target, trying to motivate myself to get to the gym, walking my dog, eating takeout, and trying to make plans with friends who live across town, but still: it’s important to have goals, even if the goal is just brunch). It’s available at Nordstrom for $143.98, marked down from $288. Classiques Entier “Carlotta” Tweed & Ponte Moto Jacket

Have a great weekend, everyone! Thanks, Kat, for trusting me with a whole week’s worth of TPS reports!  — Auntie M

(L-2)

Psst: The Nordstrom Half-Yearly Sale is still going, and we’ll try to round up some of the other Memorial Day Sales happening.  If you haven’t already, do check out our top workwear picks and our top shoe picks at the Nordstrom sale…  Also, working moms — come on over to CorporetteMoms and check out the open thread! – Kat.

Comments

  1. Yay! Weekend Open Thread’s! I love Weekend Open thread’s! But Kat, why isn’t it HOLIDAY weekend Open thread’s? Monday is a HOLIDAY, so you probabley will NOT publish, will you? I know alot of the peeople in the HIVE will be eateing at the barbeqoo and I am comeing back from the HAMTON’s by then and hopefuly will have had a good time tho it is VERY nasty here and there is NOT any SUN, so the beach will be VERY cold, to cold to go even NEAR the water. It is luckey that I have a new pair of Capri pant’s to wear on the beach. I worry a littel b/c tight leg’s make’s my tuchus look even bigger, but I can NOT wear short’s yet and I do NOT want to wear painter’s pants or something that REALY make’s my tuchus look like a boat ancher. FOOEY! So with a littel luck, my jacket will cover my tuchus and I will be OK. If it get’s hot, I will wrap my jacket around my waist so that my tuchus will NOT be so noticable. Happy Holiday to the HIVE and b/c of it being Memorial Day I want to thank all of the troops (includeing my dad), for his service to the USA. YAY!!!!!!

    • I second Ellen’s call-out to the military this Memorial Day.

      It’s also Fleet Week in NY City this week, so let’s go out and give all those yummy sailors something safe to salute!

      • Agree to have fun with the sailors. But please insist on protection. These guys have likely had risky sex with women all over the place. And needless to say do not rely on his word that he is clean!

    • Senior Attorney :

      Even though I always twitch a little when people confuse Memorial Day (honoring those who died in military service) with Veteran’s Day (honoring all past and present servicemembers), I’m always happy to thank those serving in the military!

  2. FYI, I saw this in the store and it looks a lot more neon in real life.

  3. sweetknee :

    I really like the jacket. It’s not my style, but I can appreciate it.

    Sorry for the immediate TJ. I am trying to figure out if I should say something to a person at my gym.
    I drive to the gym, located in a strip mall type place very early in the morning, around 5am. I have seen the same lady on several occasions recently, jogging around the perimeter road of the strip mall. The first time I saw her, I almost hit her, because it was dark, there are lots of trees, and she was an African American lady wearing all black and gray. I later saw her come into the gym to lift weights.

    I have since seen her jogging three additional times, still wearing all black or gray, with no reflective vest or other device to make it easier to see her. On one hand, I don’t want to mind her business for her, but on the other hand, I am not sure she realizes how hard it is to see her, especially that early in the morning. I know that I am not the most alert person at 5 am, and I assume others are not either.

    Should I just mind my own business ? I told the desk clerk about it the first day, and they knew exactly who I was talking about. I asked if they had ever mentioned it to her, and they said that they had not.

    Hope everyone has a great Memorial Day weekend.

    • I’d mention something kindly – leaving her race out of it, like “Hey, I almost hit you there! There are these cool things you can get for your jacket that reflect light to keep safe!” More casual and informational than “You really need to do this.”

      • sweetknee :

        I mentioned her race on my post only to elaborate on the issue that she was difficult to see. I definitely would not mention her race.

    • I don’t think this is a sensitive subject, and it’s a matter of safety. Definitely stop and tell her. If you really want to do something helpful, you can pick up a lightweight cheap reflective vest for $5-$10 (or less?). Ask her if she would like it (you can tell her you had an extra in your vehicle). Yes, there’s no real reason to lay out money for a total stranger, but it seems like you are really concerned and it’s not a huge expenditure.

    • How about :

      “I hope I didn’t startle you, but I almost didn’t see you when you were jogging the other day with it being so dark still in the morning.”

      I used to have the ugliest white and red windbreaker just for visibility. After my neighbor almost hit my black-coated self in a crosswalk at dusk. [FWIW I am pasty white and I have almost been hit with a giant blaze orange double-jogger, also while in a crosswalk during the day by someone on a cellphone.] It is terrifying. Maybe she’s multitasking or tuning out, but this scared the cr@p out of me — I am no match for a few tons of steel.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m sorry, what does her race have to do with this?

      • Sweet knee :

        Read my comment above re her race.

        • Anonymous :

          So if she was white it would have been okay, because white people glow? But black people just “blend into the night”?

          Saying that it is harder to see a black person at night is a little racist.

          Example:
          http://twitchy.com/2013/02/12/real-journalist-anderson-cooper-asks-if-a-black-man-is-harder-to-find-at-night/

          • Yes, I agree with sweetknee that the relative lightness or darkness of one’s skin affects visibility in low-light conditions. Why wouldn’t it? Isn’t this the reason behind the common safety slogan, “Wear white at night”? I have chalky white skin myself; numerous doctors have told me I have the palest skin they have ever seen. I once asked my husband if he could think of any possible advantage to being so pale. He thought for a moment and then said, “I can always see you in a dark room.”

          • Sweet knee :

            For gosh sakes, I was describing the many factors that make it difficult to see her. Dark clothes, poorly lighted area, early morning area, lots of trees, etc. I would feel the same way about a white person, but it might be a slight bit easier to see apple blond woman, for example. Whether I say anything to her or not has nothing to do with her race.

          • Sweet knee :

            Pale, that is, not apple.

          • It’s not racist; it’s true. Seeing someone with darker skin and hair in a poorly lit area is more difficult.

      • Easy soul sista! A few Years ago any black person “jogging” through a nice neighborhood– with or without a hoodie– would be questioned by the police. Now, the issue is only visibility. If she’s black and it’s dark, unless she’s wearing reflectors, someone could run her over! She’s being smart to warn her! Seesh!

    • I think the type of person who would be willing to wear a bright reflective vest for safety is likely the type of person who already has one. Given that she runs a lot, it’s unlikely that she’s unaware these exist and hasn’t considered that drivers might have trouble seeing her in the dark. Possible, but unlikely.

      Personally I would only consider wearing one if I couldn’t avoid jogging in the road. While tesya a’s advice of offering her an “extra” vest is thoughtful, if someone offered me a vest under those circumstances I would politely decline, but be bothered by their presumption.

      Also I think your hesitance stems from a social dynamic that’s a bit more complex than we’re really getting into here. When you do something like this your motives are only what, 80-90% pure? You don’t feel the need to go tell any person you encounter on a motorcycle or smoking a cigarette that they’re doing something dangerous, though they are. Why this person? It’s because the dangerous thing she’s doing is messing with you personally; you’re having to deal with mild anxiety about hitting her as you’re driving around because of her decision to run without reflective gear in the wee hours of the morning. Which is totally legitimate. It’s not really fair for someone else’s personal decisions to cause you that kind of stress, but sometimes people’s interests conflict and we have to decide where your elbow room ends and hers begins. Now in a battle between her right to run without reflective gear and your right to not have to worry so much about hitting her, reasonable parties could disagree, but I think she wins by a landslide. This is the problem I think with saying something. It’s hard to say anything to her without it having an undercurrent of ‘I’m trying to tell you to not do something you have a right to do because you’re bothering me, and I’m going to couch it in terms of your safety.’

      • I'm an associate :

        I see where you are coming from, but as a new-ish runner (I’ve been running for about two years) I still don’t know all of the good tips for being safe. I don’t own a vest but have run when it gets dark and now am considering a vest! I’d be really happy if someone suggested this to me if I was constantly risking being hit by a car!

        • Wildkitten :

          You should get one that is reflective or light up or blinking. I wear all of the above when running, but I would also decline if a stranger offered me an extra, because that’s weird.

    • Just tell her. I also run in the dark, and had a reflective vest that stopped working. I hadn’t noticed, and once someone told me, I switched to a yellow or orange vest. (The one I had was an expensive black one with reflection built in. My husband and I tested it, but I guess it didn’t last.). So, she just might not realize.

      • I'm Just Me :

        I agree, just tell her. I drive along a long winding road in the dark every morning, every few months I pull over and tell a bicyclist or runner that they are difficult to see. My hope is that they take my comment with the good intent that I mean it. I’m frequently surprised that people who run/bike/walk at 4 am think that all dark clothing is appropriate.

        On days that I walk in either the early morning hours or late evening hours I wear a lovely bright yellow vest like construction workers wear.

      • Anonymous :

        I recently almost hit a mom who was, as it turns out, running to pick up her kid at my kid’s dance studio. Similar situation: dark, somewhat rainy, no reflective clothing, etc. I noted that she went into the studio, and then said very nicely when I walked in a minute later, “Hey, I noticed you running. You have such great form, but I almost hit you because I didn’t see you. Might be worth getting some reflective tape!”

        It doesn’t cost you anything but 30 seconds of potentially slightly awkward conversation. It might save her life, and might save you or someone else the misery of killing another human being by accident.

  4. Anon Question :

    Happy weekend! Gorgeous jacket.

    Has anyone here successfully lost a lot of weight and kept it off (I’m talking 80+ pounds, not the 10-15 vanity pounds frequently discussed here). Any tips? Did you have loose skin afterwards?

    • Wildkitten :
    • I did. I haven’t kept all of it off (for various reasons, some about age) but I’ll never let myself get back up to where I was. I lost 90-95 lbs. My stepmother called it the move more/eat less plan, but I call it the move more/eat better plan. I was 40, had high blood pressure, and I realized that I was eating poorly and eating when I wasn’t hungry, and drinking too much (due to stress and an unhappy marriage).

      I switched to all weight-bearing exercise (elliptical or treadmill or walking fast outdoors) and I exercised 6 days a week. I still do that and have added weights. I cut waaaaay back on my alcohol consumption and eating out. I still went out once a week but never had dessert and alcohol on the same night. I incorporated as many vegetables as I possibly could into my diet and I ate very few sweets (although after Katrina, living in PA, I had a twist cone at Dairy Queen every Monday). For example, I’d still eat pasta, but probably with at least as much vegetable as pasta and a little protein. I lost it pretty slowly – over about a year and a half. Started in April 2005, stayed on track even living with my parents after Katrina and being out of my home for 5 1/2 months. There was a point in early 2006 when it seemed like I was losing so fast I couldn’t keep up with my clothes. I hit my lowest weight around the summer of 2006.

      And yes, I have a lot of loose skin. Drives me crazy. If I had the money and the time, I’d have it removed. But I always had a stomach from yo-yo dieting from being overweight in my younger years.

    • I resent your comment that “10-15 pounds is vanity weight” – for a lot of people (especially when you’re more petite), 10-15 pounds can equal at least 3 dress sizes – that’s not “vanity weight”

      • Orangerie :

        +1.

        • 15 lost and 15 gained :

          +1000 – 3 dress sizes is right and a huge difference on a petite, small frame. Completely different person in a photograph, frumpy versus not.

      • Anonymous :

        Yeah, at 5’3″ I’d say a 15-lb weight gain would mean needing to replace essentially all of my clothing. Likewise with a 15-lb loss, most of my clothes would probably look shlumpy.

        • Whatever % of your body weight 15 pounds is, you’d have to be a grade-schooler for it to be of the order of magnitude that an 80-pound loss is.

          I have gained/lost 25 pounds when pregnant and it was very significant on my frame, but it didn’t leave me with the sagging skin that I’m imagining an 80-pound weight loss would entail (also: wear-and-tear and health issues). Also, non-pregnancy weight loss probably involves much more in the lifestyle change department than the mere tweaking that can help one drop smaller amounts and keep them off.

          IMO, they are not the same sorts of weight loss.

          • Anonymous :

            Definitely granted that it is not similar to 80 lbs, and the skin issues are not the same. I was just disputing the idea that 15 lbs is just “vanity” for everyone.

      • In Agreement :

        10lbs is the difference between a 0 and a 4 for me. By no means vanity weight. I’d hate to see how much 15 pounds would fluctuate my size.

        • Not the Same :

          Yeah, but 80 pounds on those who are heavier (like me) means the difference between a 24 and a 16, so there is a difference. And even then, I’m still considered “fat” by you size 0-4 people.

          • size 0-4 people :

            Please don’t put words in our mouths.

          • In Agreement :

            Good to know this sight considers my weight woes less meaningful because I am on the smaller side of the spectrum, and for what its worth I am a very squishy 4, not healthy and toned.

          • Actually, I am six feet tall, so 16-20 isn’t about health. It’s about the same as a small person whinging about 0-4. So…let’s drop the “you’re a different size than me so it’s fine to body snark” talk, OK?

        • Anonymous :

          Really ? The difference between being size 0 and size 4 isn’t vanity? Sure. Whatever you say.

          • Haha. Thanks for this. I am so done with my size 4-6 friend who, after aging, is now is a size 0-00, and refuses to wear anything that isn’tcompleted fitted or bodycon. So done.

          • Orangerie :

            Is the difference between size 16 and 20 vanity? It’s still just 4 dress sizes, but for both ends of the spectrum that means a complete difference in how you look in your clothes.

          • Anonymous :

            Nope! 20-16 is about health. 4-0 isn’t.

          • Orangerie :

            Where is your arbitrary line between vanity and health?

          • Anonymous :

            Oh come on, healthy comes in all different shapes and sizes. Are you really saying that size 20 is not healthy? Or that it’s not possible for someone to be unhealthy at a size 4? If I’m a size 4 and consume more sugar than Buddy the Elf (second part is true), and then cut out sugar and in the process lose 10 pounds and go down to a 0, that weight loss is absolutely about health.

      • AnonLawMom :

        Really? I think the OP was really referring to whether the weight was truly a health issue. Of course 10-15 pounds is significant in terms of how we feel, our clothes, etc. but 15 pounds is generally not a major health issue nor would it cause skin issues.

        My good friend is in the (very difficult) process of losing 80ish pounds. Do you think it would be appropriate for me to chime in with how much I really need to lose the last few pounds of pregnancy weight so I can go back to my size 0/2 and stop buying size 4? No, it wouldn’t. Would she roll her eyes and see me as being a bit vain for doing so? Ya, probably. Does that mean that I have no right to be concerned or care about losing that weight? Of course not. But I should keep it in proper perspective.

        • anon-oh-no :

          Yeah, but i think the off-putting part of the comment about “vanity” weight loss is that it minimizes what is important. Losing 80 lbs to you is not more important than losing 20 lbs to me (or, obviously, whomever). Weight is a personal subject. Sure, there are health issues on both ends of the spectrum, but many people ignore the health issues, again, on both ends of the spectrum.

          And as many people who need to lose 80 lbs know, it is a slippery slope; the weight creeps on over time. 15 lbs may not seem like a big deal now, but if you don’t lose it, what happens when the next 15 creeps on. And the next and the next.

          • Anonymous :

            No. Losing 80 pounds is more important than losing 20.

          • Wildkitten :

            For some people losing 20 is the difference between diabetes or not. So. Pretty important.

        • Anonymous Poser :

          Accidentally hit “report” while scrolling (sleepily) on my phone. Sorry!

      • Anonymous :

        How your clothes fit/what size you wear is an issue about how you look, hence “vanity.” Even if you’re only 4’8″, losing 10 or 15 pounds is not enough to take you from obese to a normal weight on the BMI charts. Losing a few sizes is not the same thing as dramatically changing your life expectancy.

      • Do the math :

        I’m 5’2″ and 100 lbs. This is my natural weight even when I am not on any kind of exercise regimen (I swear I am not trying to subtle brag). I’m quite petite in all respects. If I gained/lost 15 lbs, I’d gain/lose about 10-15% of my body weight. For someone losing 80 lbs to be 10-15% of their body weight, they’d have to be weighing in at 533-800 lbs.

        What I am trying to say is, as a petite person, I am NOT offended by someone calling 10-15 lbs vanity weight loss, no matter the original size of the person. 80 lbs, on the other hand, is a significant weight loss that would cause someone to have excess skin. It is not the same in any way as losing 15 lbs, even considering a very petite person (and yes I realize there are people smaller than me).

        I do not; however, agree with the poster below who said going from size 20-16 is less “vanity” than going from 4-0. That seems arbitrary.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      I’ve lost 85 pounds, which happened in two parts. When I moved to NYC and went from a car-centric lifestyle to one entered on walking and subway stairs, I lost 30 pounds pretty quickly without changing my diet. About 1.5 years later I started seeing a nutritionist once a month and changed my diet to be much more focused on protein and veggies. I lost 50 pounds over the course of a year and I’ve kept it all off for more than a year now. My weight loss has stalled for now (I still have 30-40 pounds to lose) because I’ve relaxed what I eat and no currently seeing my nutritionist. I don’t have much loose skin actually, just a little on my stomach. I’m not sure if I’ll have more after losing more weight though.

      My experience taught me that sometimes you need to just do what works for you instead of following one set of advice over another. My 50 pound loss came solely from changing what I ate and eating less overall. I never have successfully added exercise to the equation like NOLA has, although I’ve tried in fits and starts. I’ve read that diet is more important that exercise when it comes to losing weight, but there is likely information going the other way on that. If you can get on an exercise plan but can’t seem to work out the dietary changes at first, or vice versa, then just go with that and don’t beat yourself up over it. Making one change at a time can really help overall, although I’m sure that some people are able to change one thing which snowballs into changing everything. Do what you are able to do and can stick with and try to do better at it every day.

      • Hey Sydney – I should add that I have pretty much always exercised since my mid-20s, even when I was overweight. So it was truly diet that made a difference. I think you do have to figure out what your own demons are. For me, it was overindulgence in general, eating fries when I should have chosen salad, eating sweets, and too much alcohol.

        • Sydney Bristow :

          Yeah, I totally agree with that advice about figuring out what your demons are. Mine was definitely overindulgence too, with a big snacking issue. Throw in a love of baking desserts and it all added up to a big problem.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I had weight loss surgery four years ago to lose 60 pounds that I had gained and lost multiple times over the years. I’m only 5’2″ and for me that was the difference between a size 16 and a size 2. I completely understand that sugery isn’t for everyone and of course one should consult one’s doctor to see if it is an option for one, but for me it was a total game-changer. I’m sharing because I didn’t know it was an option for me until I heard about somebody else close to my size having it, and I will be forever grateful to that person for telling me about it.

      The surgery I had is called a vertical sleeve gastrectomy and involved simply making my stomach much smaller — it didn’t touch my intestines at all. If you are interested in exploring this option, there is a great web site called obesityhelp dot com with all kinds of message boards and articles about the various kinds of surgeries.

      Yes, I had extra skin on my neck and stomach, and I had a facelift and a tummy tuck, two years apart. I will say that both of the cosmetic procedures kicked my butt far, far more than the WLS itself, but I’m very happy with the results. (I was 51 when I had the surgery. I had lost a similar amount of weight in my 30s with no loose skin to speak of, but age and the yo-yo thing caught up with me in the end.)

      Surgery is not a panacea. I have completely changed the way I eat (which is much easier thanks to my small stomach) and I work out hard 4-5 days a week. But I’m maintaining the loss and couldn’t be happier. For me, I am absolutely convinced that I would not have been able to lose the weight again and maintain the loss without the surgery. It leveled the playing field and gave me a fighting chance.

    • Sboplifter :

      Shayna

    • I hate heels :

      Yes, I’ve done it. Was 218 lbs; have been 145 – 150 for five yrs now. I’m 5’6″. It took me about a year to lose it all. I went on 1500 calories/day + 45 min of exercise 6 days a week. And I learned how to run. For maintenance, I run at least 2 days a week at 4 – 6 miles per run and if the weight climbs near 150, it’s back to the restrictive diet. I gain very easily, so usually between January 1 – Easter, I’m dieting more seriously. I only have extra skin in the tummy – but I’m not sure if it’s from babies or fat. Probably both. :) Good luck to you – you CAN do it!

  5. Orangerie :

    Thanks to all who provided NYC restaurant recommendations! We were able to hit several places on the list – Gato was as fantastic as everyone said.

  6. Kat, I appreciate the reminder about Corporette Moms. Can I offer some feeback? Specifically, the logo is SO offputting! The crayon-y typeface (?) for the “Moms” looks like it should say “Kids.” It’s so infantalizing and doesn’t appear at like something that targets “working moms” like it’s billed. (Not that it would be any more appealing to SAHM’s…. it’s not attractive for adults, period!). It just looks like something designed for kids, not adult women.
    I’m really happy you avoided using the term “mommy,” but with that logo, you might as well have.
    It’s one person’s opinion, but it’s really bothering me and keeping me away from the site, so I thought I’d let you know.

    • +1. The logo is completely opposite to what I’d expect for a “working moms” site. Plus the site’s interface is difficult to navigate, it feels more like an early 90s website. Not sure why it’s not the same as here, but I find the site very juvenile or sophomoric so I don’t visit.

      • Maddie Ross :

        + 1 for impossible to navigate. I posted a question on a previous week’s page and couldn’t figure out how to go back and see if anyone had responded. This site is so easy to navigate (even in earlier versions), I was surprised by the difficulty.

        • Agree with this. I’m about to have my first baby and would really like to be active on the site, but I cannot find anything (and I build ugly, complex web applications with bad UIs for a living). I don’t understand why it isn’t a straightforward blog format like… every other blog. (Some things are popular for a reason.)

          Lack of RSS is also a problem.

    • +1. I really do appreciate the efforts on and existence of Corporette MOMS, but would respectfully request reconsideration of the logo.

    • Agreed. The whole thing is kind of off putting–like the site is a complete afterthought that Kat doesn’t want to put any time into. And the focus on maternity wear is odd to me–it’s such a narrow slice of motherhood.

    • Anonymous :

      +3 to all of this. Love the idea of a Corporette Moms though!

    • I also find it difficult to navigate, and the comments I’ve posted took a ridiculously long time to appear (hours to days), making it impossible to engage with other readers. It’s a shame; I’ve been looking forward to being an active member of that community, but so far it’s just been too much of a hassle.

      • Sorry you guys are having problems — the comments take time because they have to be approved manually until the program recognizes you, so that’s a startup issue. (In theory it SHOULD only take one approved comment — still trying to assess whether it’s working as it should.)

        We’re finally getting ramped up with some of the guest-bloggers (after weeks of sickness here at Casa Griffin) and I’m trying to kick the ball as far forward as I can there before I deliver. We have a lot on the horizon for CorporetteMoms readers, and we’re really excited about it!

        As for the UI — is actually the “newer” iteration of the same theme we’re running on Corporette — thankful I haven’t changed Corporette over because it’s been one technical headache after another (many of which we only discovered after we went live). (Do you mean just that it’s hard to see what’s been published recently beyond the home page?)

        Re: maternity clothes — how do you guys think your wardrobes have changed since having kids, assuming you are still in conservative workplaces? (In other words, does Corporette not address those fashion needs?) One can argue that moms dress in washable-only clothes, in less expensive outfits (because all the $ is going to childcare/529 plans), and even in more casual/comfy outfits because the moms have leaned back into family friendly environments, or off-ramped entirely — but then I’m not sure that’s something for CorporetteMoms to address. So I’m really curious to hear more thoughts from you guys.

        • The two changes for me are that I don’t wear white if I can help it (other than white camisoles that are easy to clean and replace), and since my kids are in a no-shoe/no-bare feet room until they turn one or so, I find myself wearing frumpy shoes with socks all the time. But now I’ve realized that I just like frumpy shoes with socks (because my feet stay warm) so I’m on the lookout for not so frumpy shoes with socks. Any ideas?

          • How have your buying habits changed post-kids? Personally I buy fewer pieces of clothing now but more jewelry … because jewelry always fits!

        • Anonymous :

          re the issues with the “look” of the website: all of my blog reading is done on my smartphone. This site is perfectly readable on my phone, but the moms site is not because there is a ton of white space and the font is much larger.

          Re style, my work style and shopping habits haven’t changed. I just get out of my dry clean only work clothes as soon as I get home.

          • haha — the most annoying thing is that the C-moms site is supposedly “mobile friendly” — the hot new thing in website design is “responsive design” and i feel like it’s never done well. i vastly prefer the “old,” non-responsive look (of, say, Corporette) on my iPad and Android. (and I haaaaate the sites that have that on-swipe stuff when i try to visit them on my ipad). I just thought I was being old and daft. Will go see if my tech guy can turn off the responsive design entirely.

          • SuziStockbroker :

            If anything, I have become more stylish at work since becoming a mommy. In part, for sure, because I make more money than before I became a mom almost 12 years ago. But also I am more confident in myself all around.
            My youngest is 4 so the work clothes come off immediately once I get home and on goes what my little guy used to call my ‘nuniform’, yoga pants or shorts and a t shirt or hoodie.

          • My issue with the site is that I have no idea how to find previous posts. I’m staring at the front page on my ipad right now. I know you had a post about pregnancy books this week, but I don’t see it. And I don’t see anything for Page 2 or Blog or Previous Post. Nothing. I clicked on the open thread, and still see nothing. I see the open thread, two weekly updates, and then a bunch of announcement/ ad type things (like the recommended but not maternity thing).

        • Agree with the no-white commenter. If I wear white, I look like that Dustbin character from Charlie Brown by the time I get to work what with drop offs, hand offs, food prep, etc.

          The ‘rette main site does help a ton with my post-mom clothes buying. (That’s when I stumbled onto the site when I was updating my wardrobe after having babies). I had to basically reconfigure (no pun intended) my whole wardrobe because, while my weight went back to pre-preg wt, my shape was different (boobs lower, hips higher, waist wider, etc). I needed better supporting bras, more durable wearing stuff, low maintenance…ie, can’t wear wrap dresses because my toddler likes to tug on my baubles, belts, clothes…so i would be unwrapped out the door. So my main issue is looking well put together, but in a low maintenance-y sort of way…

          One main thing is that 95% of my wardrobe buying occurs ONLINE because i simply. do. not. have. time. to. shop. So all the tips on good sites, good service, good shipping policies, here help a ton. (For instance, I like the way Boden looks, but I skip reading the Boden posts because shipping takes forever and the ding the h3ll out of you on return fees, lost shipping fees, etc). I scour this site for fit specifics for brands (runs big, runs small) and reviews of wardrobe staples for specific body types, etc…it has saved me so. much. time. that i don’t have to go try stuff on. (I really also don’t have a ton of time to mail stuff back for returns, so I try to keep that to a minimum. )

          So all this is to say, that maybe the C-mom’s site can also focus on fashion for those of us who want to look sharp but must stay practical. I don’t want to wear an all polyester frump uniform, but I do have to consider whether what I am wearing could sustain a full pre-work kid-readying steeplechase and maybe withstand or be modified to get through soccer practice and not be an automatic dry cleaning nightmare or regarded as a disposable outfit.

        • Having “a lot om the horizon” for the site, while it’s still this offputting, unusable, and content-light at its official launch, doesn’t make me want to read it. There was this big unveiling, so I went there looking for interesting content, and found nothing. I’ve been checking back once a week or so and finding nothing of interest (not to mention it being impossible to tell when new posts go up due to the unintuitive UI + no RSS) , so I’m virtually certain to give up completely within another week or two.

          Had you waited until you had interesting content and a usable UI before ‘launching’, I would be all over this, but my expectations weren’t met so now I’m pretty much done.

        • Sorry, also hit reply instead of report!

          I am interested in the change in buying habits. Aboutt six months before I got pregnant, I switched to a more casual office. As I deal with my post pregnancy body, I find myself buying for a casual office. I also want comfortable weekend clothes that don’t look awful, which is an area I am looking to improve since weekend clothes are kid don’t work well on the playground! Also, I want long shirts and everything has to be machine washable.

          Also, I know this is my issue, but it is hard to invest in new clothes that fit my saggy body. I have a great kiddo but she took a toll on my body. I know that if I get off the couch and move, I will lose some of this weight, but I would rather read a book. And buy her cute clothes. I have become the mom I said I would never be!

          • Meant to say my pre kid weekend clothes don’t work well for the playground!

        • anonymama :

          +1000 on dislike of the new format and the logo.

          I’m also done having kids (4y and 2y) and would like more discussions not about maternity wear.

          Weekend clothes that work with kids = washable, not white/light colors, play well. I can come to the regular site for casual/nice/date clothes.

          Also, dealing with weight fluctuations that I never had to deal with before (combination of getting older and hormone changes: +35 lbs with pregnancy -45 lbs with breastfeeding +20 lbs after weaning…and the weight is in different places than pre-pregnancy. Not so much body image issues as how do we deal with these shifts in our bodies and how we understand what fits us well and how to deal with a wardrobe that is constantly in flux. (at least for a few years)

          Makeup (I didn’t wear makeup regularly until my 2nd child, when I realized I had to do something to avoid looking like death warmed over! So tips on easy makeup and hair routines and general grooming stuff.)

          • anonymama :

            I meant to elaborate on the format issues: It’s hard to tell what is new content and what is old, where I can comment and what is just to be read, etc…

        • Watermelon :

          I’d love a feature on nursing-friendly, machine-washable (even on gentle with line drying) business casual clothes. Everything I wear these days needs to be nursing-friendly, which is hard enough for casual clothes.

    • Need to Improve :

      I had the same reaction to the logo. I felt very “mommied.”

    • +1000
      I’ve stayed away from the new site b/c of the weird infantalizing graphic and tone. Pregnancy/ nursing “brain” turned out to be a real thing, much to my dismay, but now that I’m back to my regular work schedule and my toddler is weaned, I’m looking for thoughtful conversation about managing toddler + career + husband + home + personal time. The tone of the new site feels condescending.

    • My kids are older (8,12 & 14)) and I’m just not interested in pregnancy/baby/toddler issues because I am WAY past those stages and they will never be visited again. I checked the site out once after it launched, and realized that even though I’m technically a c’r-e-t-t-e mom, I’m not the target demographic for that site. And that’s OK. If there was more content on a variety of ages, I might be more interested.

  7. Platinomad :

    I have this jacket and absolutely love it. I also wear it to work on more casual days over black sheath dresses, or with a pair of wide leg navy trousers (there is blue and black in this of this jacket, if that isn’t apparent here, so it goes well with both black and navy). It also gets a lot of weekend wear with black jeans and simple tops. Great pick Kat!

  8. I’m with Sweetknee – not my style but I like it. Thanks Auntie M for pinch-hitting for Kat.

    BTW, I have never had much style but one of my coworkers today said “I just have to tell you that I like your fashion choices.” I think my style is pretty boring but has definitely gone up a few notches since I started reading thissite. I’m wearing a dress that was featured here and nude-for-me shoes and a statement necklace. Thanks to Kat and all you fashion-savvy ladies.

  9. A paralegal in another office (geographically distant) just saved my butt on a big deal. What should I get her as a thank you?

    • I think sending an email to her and her boss thanking her for the work she did would go a long way. Maybe also send her a gift card or maybe a basket (or edible arrangement or something) she can share with the office (with a nice thank you note).

    • An email to her direct supervisor and whoever else might maintain her personnel file stating her invaluable contribution to your deal, cc to her.

      • AnonLawMom :

        +1. It’s amazing how far this will go. Lawyers are terrible at praise in general so doing something like this will really make her day and could affect her compensation going forward.

    • As a former paralegal, we like wine, gift cards and praise not just to our managers, but to the partners we work for–the partners are our real managers, even if there is some sort of off-in-the-ether supervisor too. It’s nice of you to recognize this paralegal’s contribution!

  10. My husband and I are hoping to hit some memorial day furniture sales this weekend. This will be our first time buying real, grown up furniture. We’ll be looking for a couch (we need both a normal couch and a sectional, for different rooms), a dining room set, a recliner, and one of those comfy chairs that are between chair size and loveseat size, although we won’t be buying all of this at once. My husband wants to buy high quality stuff, but I don’t think he has any idea how much high quality furniture costs. I think our price range is around $2k for the couch and dining room set and less than $1k for everything else. I don’t know anything about shopping for furniture that doesn’t come from Walmart, and I’d love to hear everyone’s thoughts on what I should be looking for as we shop.

    TL;DR: Any tips for shopping for nice furniture for the first time?

    • Crate & Barrel is 15% off this weekend and free shipping for furniture items over $1500! Just thought I’d share.

      I don’t have a lot of tips, but here’s a basic one: look for real wood construction and not particle board (or engineered wood). North Carolina produces a lot of good furniture. Definitely Google your furniture options – I remember learning a lot about couch construction when I was looking for one. Good luck, happy hunting, and remember, you don’t HAVE to keep it forever (unless you want to!).

      • Maddie Ross :

        I’d say in the price ranges you’ve indicated, you’re highly unlikely to be able to afford furniture made in NC. Only the really high end stuff is made in NC anymore – the majority is made in China and shipped over sadly.

        If I were you, I’d focus more $ on the dining room set (assuming that you want that to be something you’re keeping for a long time) and less on the upholstered pieces. Couches and comfy chairs, no matter how expensive, just get a lot of wear. Unless you’re furnishing a formal sitting room that won’t really be used that much, I would anticipate that you’ll want to replace some of it in 5-10 years, or even less.

      • Our couch (NC made) from a local furniture store, with custom fabric, was around $1300. There are definitely still midrange lines out of NC. The brand we got was Craftmaster. Best Home Furnishings is another US company with reasonable prices, although the quality is a little lower. The recliner in our Nursery is Klaussner (also of NC), and is the most comfortable chair you could want at 3am. It was around $500, so that might be another brand with competitive pricing.

    • Furniture :

      Look for solid wood, glass, natural fabrics, and coated metals. Avoid “bonded” leather, any synthetic fabrics, anything that’s laminated, or plated. Chances are any of the good qualities above wont be cheap, but those will be pieces that last a life time, and in a cost per use analysis will be cheaper in the long run.

    • Whatever you end up purchasing, know all your dimensions ahead of time. We went in with our max length on a couch and I was surprised both by how small that was compared to what’s on the market now, and how pushy some of the salespeople were at trying to sell us something larger than we could fit. I think the price ranges sound reasonable for good quality furniture, particularly with sales this weekend (but that may also depend on your location).

      I highly recommend LaZBoy – we got a sectional there that has held up really well, and they have a great warranty. My prior couch came from JC Penney and it didn’t hold up that well after five years. I’ve never known anyone with a good experience at Room Place.

      • Lorelai Gilmore :

        Totally recommend knowing your dimensions – and think about all of the dimensions that might matter, not just the length and width. We went out and sat in a million chairs and concluded that we wanted chairs where the seat was X inches above the ground, the back was X height, and the arms were X height taller than the seat. There was basically a magic ratio for us that equalled comfort. (We are both tall, so for us, we wanted tall furniture!)

        I echo the recommendation for LaZBoy. I think you can often get great furniture at Macys or JC Penney. I do not recommend Crate and Barrel or Pottery Barn – I’ve had pretty bad experiences at both places, though I’m always suckered in by their styling.

      • Not LaZBoy :

        My family used to be into LaZBoy but the last piece we bought there had a crazy chemical smell and gave both me and my husband a headache. We aren’t usually sensitive people, so that was weird for us. We’ve stayed away from LaZBoy after that one bad experience. Hopefully they fix the issue, as they have some great and comfortable pieces.

    • I like my couch from Ethan Allen. They seem to rotate 20% off sales on different lines, so if you like one kind of couch in particular, it’s probably worth waiting a few months to see if you can get it 20% off. A manager tipped me off that the one I liked was going to go on sale the next month, so we waited. The sectionals get pretty pricey, but the regular couches end up comparable to Pottery Barn/ Crate and Barrel.

    • Be prepared for sticker shock! It continually amazes me how much “real” furniture costs. You are working on a budget, so I suggest you shop online first and know what’s realistic before you walk into the store. In many places $1000 won’t even cover the dining *chairs*. (So if it’s $2K apiece for couch and dining, you’re OK; much harder but maybe doable if you mean $2K for both of those.)
      Oh, and ask about floor models to save money.

    • If you have furniture outlets near you, check those out too. It’s more frustrating because it’s a more random stock but you can get some great deals. Just be careful the item is in good shape, but for wood furniture it can be a great way to save money. Pottery Barn, West Elm, Restoration Hardware, etc. all have outlets.

    • Thank you everyone for all the tips! I’ve been reading a lot about furniture quality on the interwebs, but it’s really nice to get people’s personal experiences (and the articles I’ve been reading don’t give much advice on where to go to buy nice furniture, just how to tell if the furniture you find is nice).

      I wanted to clarify that the amounts I listed were per item and are very much estimates, we have wiggle room to go up to $3k-$4k on the sectional, but not to $8k or $9k, etc.

      • That’ s a pretty good budget for a sofa. Typical mid-range places with decent quality furniture includ Room & Board, Crate & Barrel, Ligne Roset, Pottery Barn, etc. Check out Apartment Therapy’s guide to buying a sofa. I ended up buying a sectional from Room & Board and I’m pretty happy with the quality – plus the customer service was much, much better than buying from a place like West Elm (which has TERRIBLE service, along with probably Pottery Barn and RH since they’re all the same company).

  11. Ah, thanks to Auntie M for perfectly illustrating the difference between my real weekends and my fantasy ones. :)

  12. Going anon for this :

    I have BIG interview on Tuesday in the marketing field for a major company. An hour interview followed by two hours of a writing test. Any advice? Tips that have helped you during interviews? I’m freaking out a little (okay a lot).

    • West Coast :

      My few major tips that I always focus on, aside from know what you are going to wear, leave extra time:

      A) Know your “walk me through your resume” answer cold. It should be 2-3 minutes long, and mention they key items from your past that make you a good fit for the job–you are teeing up the next questions the interviewer asks so that you can highlight your strengths. If you haven’t really worked on this answer before, take at least 2 hours to practice with a friend. They should let you know if: 1) they are ever bored listening (an interviewer would be too), 2) parts of the story don’t flow, 3) if there is anything that is a red flag that makes an interviewer want to dig (I started at college X, and then finished up at college Y… interview will want to ask, better to avoid mentioning, even if you have a good answer), and 4) if you are missing one of your strengths.

      B) have 5-6 rehearsed stories that you can tell about challenges, accomplishments, etc for the other questions. Again, practicing here with a friend is helpful so that you can make sure that you are explaining the situation/challenge as concisely as possible, and then have time to elaborate on your action and the outcome.

      C) Think about the 1-2 questions that you dread being asked by the interviewer… and then practice answering those–a friend can help practice here too so that you get feedback on whether you are convincing or not.

      D) Memorize or note down in your padfolio the questions you will want to ask during the “any questions that you have” portion of the interview; make sure to have,”I’m really interested in this position, when might I expect to hear about the next steps in the recruiting process?”

      E) Set a few timers for yourself during the writing test to keep yourself on track.

  13. Lorelai Gilmore :

    One other thing – if you think you might have kids some day, buy furniture that is stain resistant and kid-friendly. We spent some money on “real furniture” but then had kids, and despite my best attempt, my favorite expensive chair now has pen scribbles on it. Someday I’ll recover, but it’s not worth it until my children are old enough to stay away from the markers!

    • for the kids issue: MICROFIBER. I know you think you don’t want it, but if you are going to have kids, you really do. MICROFIBER , I tell you.

      • Microfiber is my must have for any upholstered item! We don’t have kids, but we will someday, and in the meantime we have cats, which can be pretty tough on furniture on their own.

        • Good to know. The cats have ruined our couch, which currently has a slipcover on it that collects cat hair and crumbs and is impossible to clean, yay. Amazon reviews didn’t mention that… So do they ever scratch the microfiber? I suppose since it’s smooth they probably don’t want to. Does it attract cat hair?

      • anon-oh-no :

        We have good luck with leather for this reason. When someone pees on the couch ( which has happened on more that one occasion), spills red wine, etc, it comes right off.

  14. Philanthropy Girl :

    Did anyone read the hairstyle article in the previous post?

    I’ve been dedicated to my long hair for a while. It roughly hits the bottom of my shoulder blades on my 5’9″ frame. Typically for work I wear it up in a bun, although once a week or so I’ll pop in a headband or straighten it. After reading that article, I’m beginning to wonder if it’s time to ditch the long hair.

    I’ve been concerned for a while that while I’m highly qualified, and highly productive, in my job that I haven’t been taken seriously by the “powers that be” in terms of how I can move our organization forward in regards to my department. I feel that I am often treated as a very nice, polite, hard-working girl – but that my advice for major strategic change are viewed as completely irrelevant.

    I’m the youngest person on our management team, although only by a few years. I’m also expecting, which I think tends towards the treatment of “nice little girl” who needs to be protected rather than a woman serious about my job with valid suggestions and ideas.

    While I recognize that there are many organizational and personality issues going on here, is it possible that my long hair and young appearance (I’m often asked if I’m a college student although I’m in my early 30s) are having an impact on how I’m perceived? Is it time to update my look?

    • I’m in the same age range as you and I would definitely stay away from headbands because I think it reads as young. I have a similar issue (young, round face; mistaken for a college kid whenever I’m wearing gym clothes) and I’ve found what helps most at work is wearing blazers and a little bit of makeup. Also, making sure your hair is in a style where you’re never tempted to play with it. I have also found it helpful to do a quick read-through of the behaviors listed in the book “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office.” Appearance aside, there are a lot of examples in there of unconscious behavior that can make you seem younger and less “serious” (e.g., higher pitched voice, uptalk, speaking tentatively as opposed to declaratively) that I’ve found to be helpful reminders.

    • Appearing young can be a drawback at work, IMHO. So, I would ask myself whether my long hair contributesd to looking young? ( Is it the same style from college or that collge kids like? Do I play with it at work? ect.) If the answer was yes, I would consider a shorter hair style. If you have had long hair for a while, you might enjoy the change. Having said that, if I loved my long hair, I wouldn’t cut it just for that reason.

      If you do get a haircut that is going to cut 10 in. or more off, please consider donating the hair.

      • It really depends on where you work and what industry. In many, looking and being young is a major asset. All of that said – I don’t think you need to cut your hair. If you like long hair, keep it. Learn to style it in a professional way. It’s not that hard to put it up in a neat “power bun” if you feel leaving it down isn’t sending the right message at your current job.

    • Philanthropy Girl :

      Thanks for your thoughts, ladies. Since I wear my hair up most of the time, I’m not playing or fussing with it. I have no idea if my long hair contributes to my young appearance. I see women ten years older than me with lovely long hair who neither look “too young,” nor are they treated as such. So it must be the way I’m styling or other factors like L in DC mentioned that are contributing to being treated as young.

    • Lorelai Gilmore :

      I’d go to a hairstylist and tell them you want to make your long hair look more updated, without losing the length. I think some effective layers around your face can go a long way to helping make you look more sophisticated. The long, straight hair that is all one length can look a little young or even sometimes retro. I know it works on Gwyneth Paltrow, but I think the rest of us need a little shaping.

  15. Slightly random, I know, but – I’m looking to get a personalized bobblehead doll made. There are tons of websites to order from, and it’s a little difficult to tell them apart. Anyone who’s ordered one before – is there a particular company you’d recommend? TIA!!

    • Clementine :

      At first I thought ‘wow. that is random’, but I’m starting to think that this might be the perfect gift for everyone on my ‘what the heck do I get this person’ gift.

    • If you’re still reading this, I used ‘whoopass enterprises’ (or industries?) The name sounds ridiculous, I know. That being said, I submitted photographs of profile, front on, etc. and they re-shaped the face/head for me at least twice before the final product, I was pleased with that aspect. It did take a LONG time to ship, and I recall the packaging indicating it was shipped from China, which I didn’t realize. That being said, when it finally did arrive, it looked great — which I was expecting because I had received so many photographs along the way and approved before it was finished. I think it cost around $150.

  16. Any St. Louis ‘rettes interested in meeting up?

  17. KS IT Chick :

    For the first time that I can ever remember, I have bare legs at work. Yes, I’m the person who has still been buying pantyhose. The dress code no longer requires covered legs, so I’m trying to update the look.

    I like the idea of bare legs. The reality is that I have thigh rub/chub rub going on. I’ve tried Body Glide before, but I have to apply it about 4 times a day to not have chafing. Today, I’m wearing a Spanx-knockoff under my dress, and I absolutely hate it. (Let’s be honest: Spanx is pretty much a girdle, and girdles are awful.)

    So, I’m looking for something to wear under skirts & dresses that isn’t girdle-like, leaning more towards bike shorts but a little looser. I’m not really looking for support & compression so much as chafe-prevention. Back when I was involved in renaissance festivals, we wore light-weight cotton bloomers under our skirts, but those are poofy and usually at least mid-calf length, so not really the answer, either, when I’m wearing a skirt that ends just above the knee.

  18. Does anyone work as an in-house attorney at a college or university? I’m applying for a low-level general counsel position at a university that has a team of in-house attorneys and would like to get any perspective on a) what a position like this is like, and b) what to keep in mind for an interview. Tips on questions to ask or topics to be prepared to discuss would be much appreciated! Btw – I do have some experience in higher education law so I am going into this was some base knowledge about what the position would entail.

    • Wildkitten :

      I have a cousin who does this – I don’t know a ton but since nobody else has responded – I know she has to make sure they have everything perfect for their non-profit status, since if they mess that up all h3ll breaks loose.

  19. Philantrophy girl: as long as your hair touches your shoulders, it still reads long and is long enough to put up or put in a ponytail. The extra length is what makes it look young. And layers around your face would make it look more sophisticated.

  20. So I just found out I’m having twins. Total shock! Good thing I was lying down for the ultrasound otherwise I think I would have passed out. Never imagined us as a family of five (husband and myself + 2 year old daughter + twins to be). Excited but terrified. Any advice/tips or suggestions on resources for information?

    • Congrats! It’s a ton of work but so special. I was told early on in my pregnancy that tons of water and lots of protein were important to avoid preterm labor and boost birth weight. It worked for me.

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