Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Duchess Blazer

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

smythe duchess blazerSmythe’s popular Duchess blazer has been around for years, but I haven’t seen this army green color before. I like it as styled, with all white, but if you’re a fan of whites, beiges, browns, army green looks great with those softer colors — it can also look great with a pop of light pink or another pastel, particularly when worn with a darker neutral like navy or black. The blazer is $595 at Shopbop, with select styles also available at Nordstrom and Amazon. SMYTHE Duchess Blazer

Psst: if you’re curious about the dress we accidentally posted first this morning, here are details on the original post from April.

2017 Update: This blazer has been around forever, so we are adding it to our Workwear Hall of Fame!

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]

 

Comments

  1. Genevieve :

    Gorgeous blazer. Until I saw the back view….. looks like the flap on baby pajamas back there!

    • I think it would look like a wardrobe malfunction on me.

      • After the sleeveless blazers and mesh back blazers, I guess not many more options for designers to make ridiculous so called work clothes for women (rant over).

    • I love that detail! I think it’s distinctive enough to look intentional, rather than “my prankster still unbeknowst-to-each-other twin cut the back off my dress while I was standing outside at the camp mixer dance.”

      I am also wondering if Smythe renamed the blazer after Duchess Kate, as she’s been seen wearing the navy version a number of times over the years.

      • Man, I LOVE that movie!

        • me too, obviously :) Both iterations are impossible to turn off if I see them on TV.

        • I immediately started humming “lets get together, yeah yeah yeah!” … I love that movie So Much.

          • i love the original and was really annoyed this weekend when my cable menu said hayley mills and when i clicked it was lindsay lohan. the second was cute, but lacked some of the charm of the first.

      • I like the blazer detail, too. Obviously not everyone’s cup of tea, but I think it looks really fresh and unique.

        • Anonymous :

          I like it too. I’ve tried it in the navy version and it’s made beautifully and hangs well. It’s also cut very narrow and long.

    • I love unique details but not a fan of this one.

    • It looks cheap and hangs terrible.

  2. Hmmm, the other Splurge Monday and my post disappeared

    Last night I was awake and didn’t sleep well because I forgot to do something that was due the very first thing this morning. I got up and logged in at the first possible minute this morning only to find that I did it and handed it off last Wednesday. I have no recollection of this. I’ve been really busy lately. Has anyone else had this happen? How did you handle it?

    Also, I’m SO tired now because of this lack of sleep.

    • That’s one thing that drives me crazy about this site. Whenever they make a mistake they just try to hide it when it’s really not a big deal. Kat posted a dress , I commented that the dress was already posted in April and instead of just being like oh my bad, here is a new post she just deletes the whole thing.

      To your question yes that happens- means you are tired and prob over capacity.

      • Anonymous :

        I agree. The fact that she hides all evidence of mistakes is really annoying.

        • This seems a little silly. I mean, when a partner points out a typo in my draft, I fix it. I don’t leave it in with a note that, oh, that was a mistake and I realize it. Why should she leave up a mistaken post?

          • Yep, putting up the correct post and taking down a duplicate seems 100% normal to me.

          • I like how it’s been edited now- in case people saw the dress and liked it they can still find it

          • So people’s comments stay. Or for when it’s something offensive like the r- word one, to apologize for it. The more apt analogy is the partner gives you back red lines and then you give him a new draft on a different subject and don’t acknowledge the change. Makes people scratch their heads

          • She did apologize for that post.

          • Only once people commented on the fact that replacing the image without addressing it was kind of a cowardly move. It was edited first to replace the image, then later for the apology.

    • Sleep deprivation will really mess up your brain.

  3. This blazer :

    I have a pretty high waist and wear dresses a lot. This jacket might work on a dress. But, oh man, those pants are verging into Mom Jeans territory. The pants look fine on the model. But this dress and the waist stance would probably do no favors for me (a bit of a pear). I think it would just shrink my top half and further magnify everthing else.

  4. Anonymous :

    Those of you who have or have had nannies:

    What kind of things are permissible reasons to be late? Ours lives far out. She says she doesn’t like to drive in the rain, so she waits until it is light to start driving when it’s raining, which makes her pretty late. This morning, she was late because her (adult, college-aged) daughter had food poisoning. That was the worst one. Sometimes there’s an accident on the freeway, which I understand is insurmountable. I would say things like this happen maybe every six weeks, so it’s not a huge deal, but if it happens on the right day, it can really screw us. I just don’t know where the line is and when to say something.

    • Anonymous :

      Also, the kids love her, and she is great with them.

      • anon-oh-no :

        if she is otherwise good and you are not getting in trouble at work when you are late, then I wouldn’t worry about it. there is always some give and take and if a late day every 6 weeks is your thing, that’s not so bad. (id ask her to please text when she is going to be late, with an estimated time, so you can at least use that extra time at home wisely)

        • Shopaholic :

          Granted I don’t have kids but I feel like being late once every 6 weeks is so minor in the grand scheme of things, especially since your kids love her and she’s good with them.

    • We had a nanny like that one summer and it was really annoying. I addressed it after the first few times but it kept happening. She ended up leaving to move out of state and when we hired the next one I stressed that timeliness is of utmost importance. The next one was never ever late.

    • I don’t think once every six weeks is atrocious; I think for most workers they’re late at least that often due to traffic, weather or other nonsense.

      As for the adult-daughter, true food poisoning, and not just “eghhhhhh my stomach is a bit rumbly after that restaurant” is pretty terrifying. I had food poisoning and ended up in the hospital for three days, so I tend to be more sympathetic.

      • But I think then the excuse is “my daughter is in the hospital” not “my daughter has food-poisoning.” People generally try to let their employer know when an illness is serious and if the daughter was actually hospitalized I’m sure she would have said that. “True” food poisoning is awful, but it’s extremely rare for an otherwise healthy young adult to require medical care for it, let alone hospitalization. I’m sorry you had a terrible experience, but that doesn’t make this excuse anywhere near legit.

        • Brunette Elle Woods :

          I agree. Unless you’re in the hospital, food poisoning is not a real threat and she’s an adult. The nanny being late is annoying, but the reasons are not justifiable. She doesn’t like driving in the rain??? She’s an adult. She should know how to drive! Her excuses are unreasonable, but I wouldn’t fire her if she’s great in every other way….yet.

          • It sounds like this nanny is older and drives from far out. It seems that a lot of older people don’t like driving at night and on busy highways where all of the other drivers before daybreak are giant trucks. I can see that. There is a road near me where I wouldn’t love that (another route is a state road with lots of stoplights).

            Would you be willing to pay the nanny for the time to take a slower / safer road to get to your house when you want her there?

            How much before daybreak does she need to leave to get to you? And to you live in rainy Seattle or sunny Tuscon?

        • Maybe the issue isn’t that you have a nanny who is a robot on punctuality and has no other issues in her life, but that you have no backup plan.

          I worked with a guy who had a nanny and the nanny had been in an accident (not with his kids in the car). She needed PT and some medical follow up. Oh the whining from . . . him! It never stopped.

          The minus of daycare is that if your kids are sick you stay home. The minus of nannies is that they are like other employees — they may need unscheduled time off or same-day variations. And they also need to go to the dentist, etc.

          Decide your mission-critical days and communicate that in well in advance. Investigate back-up care. For other days, build in a margin of error and pay for it (so: pay for an extra half hour of care even if you don’t need it — go to the store or just relax). There’s no great solution here.

          • To be fair, backup care won’t resolve an issue with lateness. I have multiple backup care options, but none of them would save me time if my nanny was an hour late or less.

          • Being late once every 6 weeks is 8 late days a year. And the lateness seems to be communicated in real time and < 2 hours and is b/c of something (i.e., not slacking / partying the night before / slept over at new BF's house and didn't bring stuff for the next day).

            This doesn't sound like a huge deal to me. Is something else going on?

    • Does she call? Or just show up late? I would feel so differently about a 5:30am text saying she’s running late and will be there at 8:45 vs 8:15.

      You might try letting her know you really need her physically there by (time) but if she has an issue like a daughter with food poisoning it’s OK to drake other that “on the clock.” If your issue is getting out the door, I’d rather her spend 10’min on the phone with her kid while watching my kids than be late.

    • Anonymous :

      This would be unacceptable to me. Taking care of an adult daughter with food poisoning? Come on. An adult child with a life-threatening illness or a sick minor child is a different story, but that is ridiculous. Also if there are enough accidents that she’s late due to traffic every six weeks or so, she needs to leave earlier, even if it means most days she gets to your area early and has to kill time at a coffee shop.

      • What? No. Being a nanny doesn’t pay enough to warrant free time every single morning on the off chance of an accident. Sure you can expect that of someone who makes 6 figures but not household help.

        • I don’t know. Secretaries don’t make much more than nannies in my area ($25k or so) and they have to be at work at 8 am on the dot. They can come late if they have a sick child or another emergency, and they let people know, but they can’t just stroll in at 8:30 and say “sorry there was traffic.” If they live far away they have to build that time in and generally arrive early so they arrive on time if the traffic is bad.

        • Anonymous :

          In my area (SE US city), secretaries make 50K to start + 401K match + health insurance + vacations, so at least 2x what a nanny makes if you factor in value of health care.

      • Agreed.

        I don’t make six figures but I show up early and stay late. Even when I worked part time and non career related jobs, I showed up at least early enough that, if I ran into delays, I’d still be on time for work. That’s part of being an adult.

        I work at a place with a manager who will suddenly leave to take her daughter places (checkups, drive to work, whatever) and recently found out the daughter in mid 20s. I thought she was like in high school. It’s just how some do it, I guess.

    • I’d be annoyed by this, but if it’s only happening 1x every six weeks (so if she’s working 5 days per week, that’s…. 1/30th of the time? That actually sounds pretty reasonable (and probably works out to about my schedule of unintended lateness to the office). I agree with prior posters that the food poisoning issue may be a somewhat serious & unexpected issue, but unless the rain is an actual emergency, that strikes me as a week excuse.

      I would sit her down and stress, “we count on being out of the house by __ a.m., so we really need you hear at [15 minutes before __] a.m. every day. If something comes up at the last minute, please calls so we can try to move our schedule around.”

      • Oh, and if you’re asking her to come early, obviously pay for that time — I think the extra 1.25 hours pay per week if well worth it compared to the stress of “will she get here in time or not???” even if the 15 minutes is generally spent drinking her coffee.

    • How late is she? I understand that most employees (myself included) have unexpected delays once every 6 weeks, but there’s a huge difference between 10-15 minutes and 1-2 hours. With the rain, it sounds like she just waits until she’s comfortable driving. Unless there are truly hazardous conditions on the roads, that’s crazy. She took the job knowing she would have to drive and that it sometimes rains. I’m a little more sympathetic with traffic, but only for large, unanticipated events. She shouldn’t be cutting it so close that slightly-heavier-than-usual traffic makes her late, especially more than 15 minutes late. I see taking care of her sick daughter as probably a one-time thing, and my sympathy on that would depend on a lot of factors.

      All that said, if you nanny is 15 minutes late (or less) once every 6 weeks, I think that’s within the norm for most employees everywhere. If that messes up your schedules too much, then consider asking her to arrive 15 minutes earlier. My nanny is never late, but she arrives 15 minutes before we need to leave the house. It allows us time to say good morning to her, catch her up on the previous evening and morning, and do the last-minute stuff before getting out the door. In theory, it provides a little cushion for her to be late too. If your nanny is an hour or more late once every 6 weeks because she’s not comfortable driving to your house in normal weather conditions, then you need to find other arrangements.

    • How long has she been working with you? My concern is that right now it’s summer and light out pretty early – will she want to wait until it’s light out any time there is iffy weather in the winter when it gets light 2 hours later? Will every 6 weeks start becoming more frequent when the weather gets worse?

      I think being late once every 6 weeks, especially if she calls or texts to let you know, and it’s 15-30 minutes late not hours isn’t atrocious if that’s the only issue, especially if she doesn’t otherwise call off or ask for a lot of time off that leaves you scrambling. But it’s possible that this is a dealbreaker for you – and if so, you need to let her know that in no uncertain terms. But if she shows up late and you say “no problem” – well, she doesn’t know that it really is a problem.

  5. Anonymous :

    I’m getting a duplicate comment notice but my comment about my nanny isn’t appearing.

  6. Small Firm Pay :

    I currently work at a large law firm and received an offer at a small firm to join as an associate. The small firm specializes exclusively in my niche practice area. Since it is a small firm, they do not have a set compensation package and are willing to work with me to structure compensation the way I would like. We have discussed rough numbers and I expect they will be comfortable at paying me about $80 per billable hour.

    I am looking for suggestions on how I can maximize my compensation (salary and bonus). What is the best way to structure this? Is there another option other than “salary (based on 1800 hours) plus bonus for over 1800 hours”? I have a high risk tolerance fwiw so am okay with fluctuations in income.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m not sure what part of the country you’re in but at $80 a billable hour (assuming you mean billable, not billed) times 1800 a year is $144K which is really high for a small firm associate. FWIW, I make $78K (salary)as a fifth year. If you’re comfortable with the fluctuation in income, it sounds like a pretty good deal to me. I wouldn’t think you’d get a bonus if you’re paid per billable hour, because the point of a bonus is to reward high billers who make the same base salary as low billers and if you’re paid per hour, your base salary already reflects your production.

      • Just to add a counter datapoint, I’m a small firm fifth year associate making between $155-160k base, with an 1800 hours minimum (and that’s an actual expectation, not “1800 min but we really expect 2400”).

        I have to say, maybe I just really hate law, but there is no way I would deal with our clients for the lifestyle 78k buys you in my city. My undergrad field pays more than that to 5th years, and that’s not even factoring in that if I hadn’t gone to law school I’d be an 8th year there and not have $130k of law school debt.

      • Anon at 9:50 :

        I’m in a very LCOL area, for sure. $78K buys a very nice lifestyle around here, since the average single family home costs about $150K. I’m sure there are some CEOs and such in my area who make six figures but the average white collar professional (including engineers and nurses and other in demand professions) makes less than I do. But I will say, I know people in Chicago and SF who work for small law firms as attorneys and don’t make six figures. “Small law” is a really broad category with a much wider pay range than Big Law.

      • Anonymous :

        First year midlaw, niche area, Northeast, 75k, no bonuses

        Yeah, it varies a lot. I’m hoping for a decent raise, but we’ll see. Even in this area, small and mid vary tremendously. If I don’t get a raise, I could likely move elsewhere and make more (but this place gives me good experience in a niche).

    • sweetknee :

      You could do some sort of tiered system where if you bill “X”, you salary is one number, but for each increment above X, you get an increasingly larger portion of the fee. That’s pretty much the way it works here. I have a base salary. At the first tier above the billable hour goal ( which takes into account my salary and a reasonable level of overhead), I get 10 % of the fees that I bill out/collect. At the second tier, its 25%, and at the third tier its 35%. I usually am in the 25% tier, and last year made it to the 35% tier, although just barely.

    • Yay Kat and Kate! My p’ost on Friday got lost! FOOEY! This is a great blazer, but soooo pricey! It is even out of my price range. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      As for the OP, be glad about the part time job. I would love to get paid for just 1800 hours. It almost looked like a transpasition typo to me b/c the manageing partner would love for ME to do 81o0 hours. I told him it would be dificult for me to do that many this year b/c I want to take a week off in August to go to see the mountain’s. He said NO, I could go to the Hamton’s and stay with Margie and the baby. FOOOEY!

    • Stormtrooper :

      Ask for origination credit…. 10-15% of collections on cases you originate.

    • big orange drink :

      I’m a 6th year in a small town, small firm in the south, salaried in the low 70s. No billables requirement; bonuses are paid to all employees or none at year end depending on firm’s performance. I know I could make more in a bigger city but don’t want to give up my quality of life or work-life balance.

  7. Rant:

    I am a Samoyed lover (dog breed, medium sized dog with long white hair–they resemble white, fluffy huskies). I grew up with them and have one now. They are very different than most dogs and have very specific needs, especially in terms of constant grooming and exercise.

    Anyway, a local shelter has a male Samoyed scheduled to be put down; he’s good with other dogs, well-mannered and housebroken. I met him and then reached out to them and said I’d adopt him; I work from home, my pup and I go for adventures every day (she gets about 2 hours of exercise a day during the summer, 3-4 in the winter), we do daily grooming sessions, etc, so I thought I’d be a good candidate and of course they’d let me adopt him.

    They told me they don’t adopt out to people who don’t have backyards. So despite the fact that my pup runs for hours every day, because I’m in an apartment, I can’t have him. So he is getting put down tomorrow and I’m crushed and I can’t believe this is happening.

    • Nooo! I’m so sorry. That’s awful.

    • Who oversees this shelter? Is there a local animal rescue group that can pull him and then hand him off to you if you cover the adoption fee?

      • See if the Samoyed Rescue Society has a chapter nearby who could help out.

        http://www.samoyedrescue.org/affiliates_map/advanced/

    • That is horrific. Is there a breed-specific or some other rescue organization that could help you and the pup out?

      • I’ve reached out to the breed rescues, but it’s not a common breed so they’re few and packed :(

        • Do the breed rescues foster? Could they pull him if they knew he would go directly to you as a foster (and then adopt), so it would limit their commitment to him?

        • Even if packed, they may still be able to do the pull. I’d contact the rescue coordinator for the Florida branch and explain the situation.

    • Can you cause a stink on local news or do a social media blast to find someone willing to be your backyard proxy? That’s madness that they won’t adopt to you and would rather put him down!

      • I’m trying! They’re adamant and say it’s their policy, and so far people have been supporting them, saying its unfair for a dog to not have a yard :(

        • Absolutely. Must more unfair than being dead.

          I thought of adopting when I had a house with a yard and a dog run. But I was gone at least 8 hours a day and there was no one else in the home. I could have had a baby of my own, but not a dog from a shelter.

        • That is absurd. Honestly, most of the dogs I know that have backyards live worse lives than those in apartments–the backyard is a benefit to the OWNER, not the dog. It allows the owner to just leave the door open and expect the dog to entertain/exercise/relieve itself with minimal work on the part of its human. The dog is basically a backyard decoration that gets left out in rain and heat and escapes onto crowded streets once a month. The owners I know who are in apartments are incredibly active like OP in going to dog parks, doggy day care, multiple walks, and lots of hands-on interaction with their dog.

          • I agree. The backyard seems to give certain owners a false sense that they don’t actually have to put active effort into exercising and entertaining their pet. I know a lot of dogs that have big backyards that aren’t getting enough exercise and attention, and dogs that live in apartments that are getting tons.

        • AnonLondon :

          As a lifelong owner of dogs (I have so far have had a hand in raising/caring for 8 who’ve all made it into their teens), it drives me a up a wall when people think that a dog can’t be happy without a yard. And doubly so when the alternative is being put down! They could at least be willing to let you foster him!

    • That’s ridiculous. Definitely keep calling and appeal to someone higher. Contact the local news if necessary.

    • I’m so sorry. That’s horrible. Can you shame them on social media? Alternately, could you have a friend with a backyard officially adopt him and then give him to you immediately?

      Shelter adoption is ridiculous. When we wanted to adopt, most shelters wanted to do a home visit, multiple references, proof he wouldn’t spend more than a certain number of hours alone each day…it was like adopting a child. I can’t believe so many people think death is better for a dog than apartment living or living with someone who works long hours. I understand not wanting to place dogs with abusive people, but if you can tell the potential parent(s) are loving people who are going to give the dog lots of care and attention, less than perfect living conditions aren’t the worst thing in the world.

      • That’s what’s so tough. EVERYONE rents around here; I don’t know anyone who isn’t in a apartment or yard-less townhome :(

        • DC Energy Associate :

          KT – see my comments below. I also grew up with Sams and have been wanting one for years! I also have a backyard. Only problem is I’m in D.C. There is a rescue organization here called City Dogs Rescue. I can contact them to see if they’d be willing to contact the shelter to arrange the rescue. I’d pay for transport, etc. and adopt him that way. Let me know.

      • Having done animal rescue work and also looked into fostering human children, in some ways the hoops to foster/adopt a rescue dog were more cumbersome than fostering human kids :/

      • I agree that shaming on social media can be HUGELY helpful. I don’t do it often but the few times I have, the problem is immediately solved.

        I would post a message to the shelter on Facebook and Twitter if you haven’t already.

        I’m so sorry to hear this. Sending good vibes that this works out.

      • +1 to shelter adoption being ridiculous. When I decided to get a dog a few years ago, I looked at all the local shelters and I was deemed not a qualified adopter because (a) I live in an apartment, (b) I have a job, (c) I haven’t previously had a dog as an adult, and (d) I’m a female of childbearing age.

        So, I did months of research to find the least bad option of the not-ideal breeder world–one that did extensive health testing to ensure that only genetically sound parents were breeding, very few litters from each mom and very few litters by the breeder in total each year, and where I could see the home environment the puppies and adult dogs lived in, etc. Obviously it wasn’t ideal, but the shelters slammed the door in my face so I did the best I could.

        I’d like to get a second dog and have established that my dog is very well cared for, gets plenty of socialization and exercise even with my job and apartment, etc. But now the shelters have denied me because I obtained my first dog from a breeder–how else was I supposed to get the first dog to overcome their requirement that this not be my first dog as an adult? Kidnap a lost one?!

        Maybe this is just my city where the rescues are run by bored SAHW socialites who want another reason to look down on working women, but it’s just ridiculous.

        • Yup. It’s a huge problem. Animal lovers who stridently believe that their way is the only way and if you do it differently than them, you must be evil.

          • + 100

          • OMG — this is a thing? My husband is breed-particular (of the breed he had as a child, which seems to be wonderful). I am Team Mutt. This is horrifying that if we get His Doggie then I won’t ever get a mutt as Doggie #2.

            This will drive me over to Team Fish.

        • Yeah, I wanted to adopt from a breed rescue and the fact that I lived in an apartment and worked out of the home meant I didn’t pass their requirements. I ended up getting my puppy from a breeder, who was primarily concerned with making sure I understood the type and amount of exercise the dog would need and that I had a plan for making sure he got it.

          (My dog walker comes twice a day for a half hour to 45 minutes per session of walking/interactive play, and then Mr. Pup and I have another 45 minute to an hour session of walking or training/playtime after I get home from work. My dog gets more exercise and excitement than pretty much any dog I know that isn’t a working dog.)

        • As an alternative, there are a lot of families who need to give up their dogs who post on craigslit, ebay, or somewhere else online first before turning their dog over to a rescue. I realize this seems really weird, but I eventually adopted my 2 year old dog after seeing a posting on ebay. I had similar issues with the rescues so I left no stone unturned finding a dog from a non-breeder. We met our dog and the family before adopting him and corresponded quite a bit. He was a super well-loved dog, and I think the family just didn’t know how to go about finding him a new home after asking everyone they knew. It worked out well, but there were definitely people I emailed with who seemed like they didn’t care much for their dog. It was a huge red flag if someone never asked me anything about myself that might help them gauge what kind of dog owner I would be, but would talk a lot about how much they wanted for the dog.

          • LostInTranslation :

            I applaud you for adopting on ebay and for going out of your way to take in a dog that nobody wanted but I feel compelled to warn anyone who doesn’t know – do not EVER offer your animal on Craigslist (don’t know if ebay is any better at screening). On CL people run businesses posing as interested adopters only to sell the animal for a higher price to someone else. Others take whatever supplies you offer with the animal (cage, flea meds, food, etc.), dump the animal on the side of the road, and then sell the supplies. If you absolutely must go this route to re-home an animal, get references from the person, including their vet if possible.

          • Oh, I would never try to rehome an animal this way, but I know I’m a great puppy mom, and I am glad that I could ensure that this didn’t happen to at least one dog.

        • Meg Murry :

          Yes, some shelters have reached the point where they are practically insane. Obviously not the same in this case if the dog is being put down, but apparently our local no-kill shelter has reached the point where people are concerned the person running it has basically become a dog hoarder. She has turned down a lot of families on technicalities for being not quite perfect enough to adopt, despite the fact that the shelter is overcrowded. There are also stories of people finally getting approved to adopt but then it falls through because “there was a misunderstanding, that dog was already in the process of being adopted” or “I’m so sorry, but the dog is sick and has to go out to a foster family”- but then a dog that is remarkably similar shows back up a few days later, although the shelter manager insists it’s a different dog and makes the adopting family start the process all over again.

          I’m glad someone is making sure the people adopting a pet have thought through the process, but sometimes the level of bureaucracy is just insane.

          • Anonymous :

            Please report this to the authorities if you have concerns about the care the animals receive.

            I work for a local government and we had an issue with someone taking over the local shelter and basically turning into an animal hoarder. When I looked into the issues associated, it turns out that this is not an uncommon problem. The earlier this is caught and addressed the better, it doesn’t help the animals to be in an overcrowded environment whether it’s private home or a shelter.

      • Wildkitten :

        Are they municipal or private?

    • Would a friend with a backyard pose as adopters for you?

      • I would totally do this. I don’t have a backyard and I’m not in your area, but it’s worth asking around.

      • I’m the anon above who posted above about doing rescue work. Any chance you are in the middle of the country? If so, I may have rescue contacts that could help.

        • Nope, Florida :(

          • LostInTranslation :

            Will they adopt to someone out of state? My husband and I have done a lot of dog/cat fostering and we do have a yard. We are in TX. Samoyeds are also near and dear to my heart. We have an Eskie which, I’m sure you know, is like a mini Samoyed.

          • Ugh thanks so much for offering! They only adopt out within a 2 hour radius :(

            And I love Eskies!

          • I know I’m late, but a friend of my mom lives in Florida with a big yard (and big dogs), but I don’t know exactly where (she just moved and I haven’t been). If you run out of options, I can try to reach out.
            burner address is code 4 fun at gmail

    • I am so sorry. Social media shaming sounds good–maybe post picts with your happy pup as a “the shelter thinks euthanasia would be better for this dog than joining our family.” Also, if you would be willing to post your location and an anon email address or if you can somehow share a FB post about it, I would guess folks here would help you get the word out.

    • Post the name of the shelter. They will get shamed by tens of angry working women. You will get that doggie. Time to put the corpor*tt* community to work

    • LostInTranslation :

      If you absolutely can’t make it work any other way, contact me. Consultatiotladydotcom. Maybe you can contact a local Samoyed rescue in your area, let them know someone from out of state is willing to take the dog if they pull it but don’t have room to foster.

    • I had a rescue hem and haw because I didn’t have a fenced yard and had to go all the way up the food chain of the rescue to get the requirement waived. The ridiculous thing was the dog I was adopting was known to jump fences. You’d think it would have been a positive that my yard wasn’t fenced, since it obviously wasn’t going to be a barrier anyhow.

      Good luck!! If it’s a non-profit with a board, is there any chance you could reach out to a board member to take care of this ridiculousness?

    • I would honestly contact the local news.

    • DC Energy Associate :

      Where is this? I’d adopt him in a heartbeat — I grew up with Sams and would love to have one (and have a backyard).

      • DC Energy Associate :

        Oh sorry — just saw above this is in Florida and they won’t adopt out of state.

        • DC Energy Associate :

          One other idea — City Dogs Rescue here in DC might be willing to save him — I’d pay for the transport/vet bills and then adopt him from here. Let me know if you’d be interested in this and I’ll jump on contacting them.

  8. Ann Nonymous :

    I’m kind of stuck in an uncomfortable situation at work and I have no idea how to deal with it.

    I’m an assistant, and back in January my boss switched over to a natural kind of deodorant. She hasn’t told me this but I heard her mention it to a colleague and also to someone she spoke to on the phone (when her door was open, I wasn’t listening to a private call). She said something about wanting to avoid aluminium.

    The issue is that she smells. Bad. It’s to the point where I can smell her at my desk outside of her office when the door is open. I know that she showers, wears clean clothes and brushes her teeth and her overall hygiene has not taken a dive. But I can barely stand it anymore. I have been her assistant for three years and this wasn’t an issue before. Most of her job is done on the phone and over email and she rarely deals with colleagues or clients face to face so I’m not sure if anyone else has noticed. She is a good boss and I don’t want to embarrass her but I also don’t want other people talking behind her back. I can already smell her first thing in the morning and as the day goes on I feel suffocated and am always gagging. I don’t know how to bring it up to her though.

    • Never too many shoes :

      Yikes, that is a fairly awful situation to be in and I feel bad for you. I would like to think that after three years of working together my assistant would feel comfortable enough to tell me…in the same way that she would if I had lettuce in my teeth or similar.

      I honestly think your best bet is to speak to HR/ My office has a scent-free policy and it applies to lawyer s as well as staff, so I would liken it to that. Maybe they can speak with her?

      • I agree, I think given that you’re her assistant the best thing to do is to go to HR. I wouldn’t feel comfortable going directly to her.

    • Since she doesn’t know that you know she made the switch, how about this?

      “Lawyer, this is a bit awkward but I was wondering if you’ve switched to a new deodorant lately because the new one doesn’t seem to be quite as effective?”

      YMMV of course

    • Not stinky ... :

      There must be something else going on. If it’s obvious that the rest of her hygiene has not changed, so she is showering and wearing clean clothing everyday, it’s highly unlikely that a change in deodorant would lead to gag-worthy body odor. Especially first thing in the morning.

      I would mention it to her, softly, privately, gently. She may have a medical issue that is causing the change in body chemistry.

      • You might look at the whatever posts AskAManager has done on this type of topic. Those posts will be focused on managers addressing it with their employees, so the opposite of your situation, but might have some useful scripts/language.

      • lawsuited :

        It really could just be the deodorant. I have attempted the switch to natural deodorant twice, and didn’t make it past 3 months either time because the smell was so horrific. I have a family member who switched over a few years ago, and she has smelled like body odour since.

        Apparently the lymph nodes in your armpits “detox” when you stop using aluminum and start using natural deodorant, and the toxins are what smell so terrible. Some online sources say the detox lasts a few weeks, but for me it started the second week in and never stopped.

    • I would consider other options as well to make your area smell better. Of course, this depends on what’s appropriate in your office. But maybe using light essential oils would be good.

      I would be careful about bringing it up directly with her, unless you’re sure that it would be okay. It strikes me as something that could make things incredibly awkward. If there is somebody else, like in HR, that you can speak to, that seems like the best option.

      I have to wonder if your boss notices it at all herself. I have tried various deodorants, and I know that certain ones haven’t been as effective. I kind of figured that nobody else could notice, but I definitely did. There’s a chance that your boss knows that the new deodorant isn’t quite as effective, but she just doesn’t think anyone else notices.

    • I would def NOT mention it to her directly. I do not see a scenario in which your relationship could survive that, it is just too embarrassing .. i would mention in an offhanded way that something smelled strange, maybe mold or a dead animal or something else unrelated to her and see if she herself connects the dots.. blame the unclean vents or whatever.. spray perfume around your desk when she walks by so she understands you smell something and perhaps she’ll pick up on it.. i think you need to give her a face-saving way out.

      • Yes, I’m sure likening the smell to a dead animal will go over SOOO much better than just telling her directly in private.

      • LOL wut? Seriously implying that her boss smells like a dead animal?

  9. Update on my match.com date mentioned last week (the one where we realized we had been a date once before – in 1980):

    We had a great time at dinner on Saturday night but he is not relationship material and knows it because, well, issues. We probably will be very close friends, though, we have a strong rapport. So, moving on.

    But in more weirdness, he showed me a very flattering recent Facebook post about him from a former student that included a photo taken 20 years ago by another former student, in a city on the opposite side of the country from where we live and met. The guy who took that photo? I went on one date with HIM in college, too. This is no longer a rom-com, it’s the Twilight Zone.

    • Ha!

      That’s crazy! How many guys did you date in 1980??? ;)

    • Why. Why are you going to be very close friends with a guy you wanna bang but who has issues? Because you want to tie up your emotional self in a complicated situation.

      You do you, but I feel like you are about to take the first step into a “relationship” you’ll be posting about a year from now.

      • This is kind of harsh, but I agree. I don’t think this is someone you want to be friends with. Be friends with women and guys you’re not attracted to. Don’t be friends with a guy you like but can’t be with because of his issues.

        • Oh I didn’t mean it to be harsh! I just feel like we’ve all been there and this is that pivotal moment where you can avoid the drama.

      • ^This

      • Hmm, not really the point. But to acknowledge your concern and respond: I am very realistic about this and know what’s a deal-breaker, have told him that his issues are deal-breakers. (And in fact I never said I wanted to bang this guy, not sure where that’s coming from). I’ve been straight-up with him that we’re not going to be in a relationship and he sees that too, but we do have an uncommon rapport and I don’t see a reason not to be friends with him.

        And I have a second date tomorrow with a much more suitable guy – closer to my age, has a sunny outlook, is apparently remarkably well-adjusted. I’ve had drama before and most definitely am not looking for more.

        • Here’s the thing though. You weren’t looking for friends, you were looking for a relationship. This guy can’t give you that. And now instead of a maybe I’ll see him around/get drinks every 6 months, you’re jumping after 2 dates on which you learned he has issues to being very close friends. If you’re not into drama, then you lean out of this. Or, you lean in, bang for 6 weeks, and move on

      • I do appreciate everyone’s concern, really. And, yes, I am on match to find a relationship but have also had generally the goal of expanding my friend circle as well as seeing my existing friends more. (Until last year, I was married to a frankly anti-social person and my social life was much more narrow than I wanted it to be.) And although issues-guy and I actually saw each other only twice, we talked and texted daily and became surprisingly close and comfortable rather quickly. I am happy to have a friendship with him (and, while he is a great guy, I am not all that attracted to him — among other things, the age difference is big) and do not see it as a potential drama vortex into the future. But if it’s headed that way, I know how to get out.

        • This sounds completely reasonable. Friends come into our lives from all kinds of directions; I don’t see why you’re getting all the blowback.

          • I don’t think being friends with him is a big deal either. I’ve made friends out of much more complicated scenarios than “reconnecting over a couple of dinners after years of not seeing each other.”

          • Anonymous :

            +1

        • I don’t think turning a guy you met on Match but didn’t click with romantically into a friend is weird at all. I think it’s fairly common. The red flags for me in the original comment were that you said you had “strong rapport” and you described him as someone you wanted to be “close friends” with. And honestly your follow-up comment is making things worse, not better: “we talked and texted daily and became surprisingly close and comfortable rather quickly.” This all suggests to me that even if you don’t have a crazy strong physical attraction to him, you have a desire for more than a friendship with this guy, but for his issues. I wouldn’t have said anything if you’d said “I went out to dinner with this guy twice and I don’t think we’re going to be a couple but I’d like to see him again as friends.” But you’re not saying you might like to get together with him as friends at some point in the future, you seem to want to turn him into your bestie over night and that just doesn’t seem like a healthy thing to do with a recent romantic interest.

    • Hilarious!

  10. Breakfast for the Busy?? :

    I’m on the hunt for a breakfast that keeps well (can be prepped 2-3 days in advance or in no time) and is otherwise very healthy for you. I used to religiously make an egg white veggie scramble but I just don’t have the time these days. I had been eating bagel thins with avocado on top for a while because I can eat it in the car on my morning commute, but I don’t like the thought of doing the bagel thin daily. What’s your best breakfast??

    Bonus points if it meets any of these:
    – Not peanut butter (no allergy; just no preference for it)
    – WW friendly or super well-rounded
    – Not packed with sugar
    – Not overnight oats

    • Eggs- hardboiled or scrambled in the microwave in a coffee mug. Or make some of those make-ahead crust-less quiches in muffin tins.
      Yogurt parfaits- berries, chia seeds, your sweetener of choice.
      Protein powder with any type of milk or water in a blender cup- takes 30 seconds to scoop and shake.

    • I have not made these myself but there are lot of recipes for egg muffins/quiches — you basically just put egg batter, veggies/meat, cheese in muffin pans and bake.

      • Meg Murry :

        Yes, you could adapt your egg white scramble to an egg white fritatta/quiche/mini quiche and then freeze it, and defrost a slice or mini quiche daily. Just make sure it is completely cool before freezing (I put in the fridge, then wrap and freeze once it’s cold) so you don’t wind up with a ton of frozen ice crystal in it.

        It tastes best to pull from the freezer to fridge the night before and then heat through in a pan on the stove or microwave the next morning, but you can go from freezer to microwave as long as you do it at 50% or lower power.

      • Anonymous :

        I do this all the time. I just use egg beaters, fill up a muffin tin, add spices, bacon/whatever kind of meat I am in the mood for, a little cheese, green onion/spinach/whatever else I have on hand that sounds moderately delicious. Bake for 350ish degrees for however long it takes to get the eggs firm. Typically 15-20 mins.

        • Anonymous :

          Sorry I forgot to say that I refrigerate and then eat one or two for breakfast by heating it up in the microwave.

    • why not just prep some chopped veggies on a Sunday, and then add them to your scrambled eggs? scrambled eggs literally take 3 minutes, tops. Faster than toasting a bagel, actually. You can also used leftover veggies from dinner (like roasted brussel sprouts, or sautéed whatever) and throw them in your scramble.

    • Yogurt or instant oatmeal packets. Get used to eating them unsweetened and with fruit.

    • Yogurt parfait: Plain yogurt, handful of berries (no cutting up required), honey, granola

    • Never too many shoes :

      On Sunday, I usually make a baked crustless quiche – sauté whatever type of veg/meat that you like (I usually do a combo of ham and mushroom but almost anything works), place a layer of shredded cheese on bottom of round non-stick cake pan, layer veggies on top, then whisk 8 eggs (can use a combo of full and whites) and 3/4 cup of whipping cream and pour over. Bake at 350 for 40 minutes. Can be eaten hot or cold, just carve a slice and go! Hold up well in fridge for full work week.

    • Do you need to eat in the car? What about a smoothie with frozen fruit, unsweetened yogurt and milk?

    • Pretty Primadonna :

      What about make-ahead egg muffins? You could use egg whites and add veggies and cheese, make a muffin tin full in advance for the week, freeze them, then microwave in the morning as you’re getting ready for work. There are several recipes available online.

      • +1 to making a large batch of muffins, freezing and pulling however many out you want that morning and warming them up in the microwave. I do an almond butter cinnamon muffin, but it sounds like nut butters may not be OP’s thing so eggs are a good choice. When you freeze them, put paper towels over the top of the muffins to catch any moisture from the lid–it helps them keep better in the freezer.

        • Do you microwave straight from frozen, or pull them out the night before?

          • I make these too and just microwave them straight from frozen. They’re miraculous.

            You can make frozen breakfast sandwiches the same way – english muffin, scrambled egg, and canadian bacon, wrap in foil and freeze, nuke for 1 minute to eat.

          • Anonymous :

            I usually do straight from frozen just because I never end up remembering to take two out the night before. I’m taking a break from muffins for summer since the cinnamon one is more of a winter breakfast to me, but IIRC I do 30 seconds on power level 3. It might be full power though if you try that and they’re still ice cold. I’d definitely do lower power levels for eggs though.

  11. I have my first or * l argument in a few days. I just realized there was a factual mistake in my brief. Uggghh. And it is a fact that played into one of my (backup) arguments rather heavily. What would you do? File a letter with the court before the argument? If you didn’t do that and it came up during argument, what would you say?

    • Yes, I would do a correction letter to the court and also address it head-on in your oral argument (assuming you are the appellant and will go first) rather than waiting for it to come up. State the correction early on, apologize directly but very briefly for the error and then explain why your arguments are still correct even with that factual change.

      And good luck at the argument!

    • Does it completely destroy that back-up argument? Because the easiest thing to do would probably be to send a correction letter and tell them you are withdrawing argument D because of mistake X. Then be ready to argue why it doesn’t affect your other arguments. But if it only affects a minor argument and you can withdraw that argument before hand, I wouldn’t waste time arguing it or excusing yourself unless someone else brings it up. (Assuming this is appellate and you will have a limited time to speak).

      • It doesn’t affect the other arguments, it’s like a sub-argument to our fourth argument (which I didn’t want to include anyway). It was like three lines long but I did say that the other party’s brief misstated the fact, when actually I got it wrong. That’s what is making me feel so stupid and mortified.

        • Any suggestions for how to word the letter?

          • Party X’s counsel regret having stated, incorrectly, in its brief that [incorrect fact]. (Cite brief where you made error.) [Party Y] is correct in stating [correct fact.] The larger arguments, however, about [your solid arguments] still stand.

          • I’d go a step further to formally withdraw. That way, opposing counsel will look a little nasty/be wasting time if they try to harp on it:
            Party X’s counsel regret having stated, incorrectly, in its brief that [incorrect fact]. (Cite brief where you made error.) [Party Y] is correct in stating [correct fact.] Accordingly, Party X withdraws [minor argument]. Party X’s counsel regret having stated, incorrectly, in its brief that [incorrect fact]. (Cite brief where you made error.) [Party Y] is correct in stating [correct fact.]

  12. Senior Attorney Paging The Silent Treatment :

    How are you this morning? Did your SO ever reach out to you? Did you get through the weekend okay?

    I’ve been thinking about you!

    • The Silent Treatment :

      Hey Senior Attorney- thanks for the well wishes! No, we havenot spoken since. I did survive the weekend and only needed the Benadryl on Friday night, though ;-).

      I am focusing all of my efforts on preparing for my second language testing this week and had a funny, encouraging exchange with the HR department this morning. Though my first language is English, I’d been speaking to the HR department in French (it’s a Canadian federal government office where both are used). They accidentally scheduled me for English testing assuming that I was francophone. It was a nice boost of confidence to know they’d made that assumption. I only wish I could test in English… (kidding, I’ll be fine)

      • Senior Attorney :

        Thanks for checking in!

        I suspect if you don’t get in contact with The Sulker, you may find yourself de facto broken up, and how surprised will be be when he finds out you’ve moved on with your life? I love it!

        Good luck with the testing and congrats on being mistaken for a francophone!

      • That is great re their assuming you are francophone :). What do you need, a B or a C? Sounds like you’ve got it in the bag, either way. Good luck, my DH tests in a couple of weeks.

        • The Silent Treatment :

          Hey Ottawan! Thank you for the encouragement. I only need to be CBC – so a combo! I know that this is possible for me, but I still find the prospect of being evaluated in a second langue – especially in the context of an oral exam – intimidating. It’s just not easy for me to improvise in a second language, especially when I’m nervous. I’m just giving myself permission to stop and think about what I want to say before I say it and to take little notes if I need to before beginning.

          As a Canadian, I am surrounded everyday by people working and living in their second languages. It really does take so much courage. I didn’t realize until I started learning French in my early 20s. For a long time my personality was VERY different in French. It’s only been recently that I feel I have enough mastery to really be myself when I speak French. I hope this makes sense?

  13. SuziStockbroker paging Wild Kitten :

    Wild Kitten, I just read your post from the weekend.

    I am so sorry!

    How are you feeling today?

  14. AnonForThis :

    Work vent. Do any of you have workplaces with stupid and cheesy orgs meant to raise morale?

    We have a “wellness” committee that is ridiculous. They force members to dress up like vegetables and deliver carrot sticks to people’s desks. You cannot NOT be on the committee, you’re drafted and it’s mandatory.

    They had a “wellness event” today consisting of hula hooping and bingo and free boxed lunches. I’m on a deadline, so I stopped by, then grabbed a lunch and made my way out. I got stopped at the door and told because I didn’t play bingo, I’m not allowed to have lunch. And they took my sandwich away.

    It was so petty and ridiculous I had to laugh, but I hate when companies do this cutesy crap–it ends up taking so much time away from the real work and everyone seems to hate it

    • OMG this sounds like something out of a sitcom! My former law firm had a wellness committee but it wasn’t cheesy like this. They pretty much just gave us free food once in a while and brought in a yoga instructor over the lunch hour, which was amazing. I can’t believe they grabbed the sandwich out of your hand! That is insane.

    • My company makes junior people dress up as Santa and deliver Christmas candy to clients and vendors in late December. It’s so cheesy and also incredibly time-consuming. I’m also not Christian and am kind of uncomfortable with the whole thing even though I know Santa is not a religious symbol.

  15. Just made plans for DH and myself to fly into Atlanta on 7/16 for a relative’s surprise birthday party in Birmingham, AL at 3pm the next day. Any good ideas for how and where to spend the time in between? Not at all familiar with the area but will have a car. TIA!

    • OfCounsel :

      Depending on what you are interested in, you could go to the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historic Site (which is amazing and would be my first recommendation) or the Center of Civil and Human Rights (which has the added advantage of being in Centennial Park). They would only take a few hours each (not sure what time you are arriving) but you will only have the morning if you have to be in Birmingham at 3. If you have more time, Atlanta has a wonderful zoo, but it will be really hot.

      • brokentoe :

        Thanks – these sound great. We’ll be arriving around noon on Saturday. Any interesting places to stay? We will need to stay somewhere Saturday night (Sunday with the relatives) and are leaving Tuesday at 10:30am so assuming we’ll stay in ATL area Monday night.

    • Anonymous2 :

      College Football Hall of Fame, Georgia Auarium

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