Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Bea Pleated Sheath Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

The German brand St. Emile is new to me, and I see that a lot of their stuff seems designed with “desk to dinner” looks in mind. (Click here for our last discussion on it; clearly we need to have another one soon!) This dress seems awesome — I like the small, asymmetric pleat details, the fact that the back zipper is concealed, and the 3/4-length sleeves. It’s $495, available at Bloomingdale’s. Bea Pleated Sheath Dress

Here’s a plus-size option, and two lower-priced options are from Lark & Ro (Amazon) and ModCloth.

Psst: I just noticed that the Instant Pot (corrected; whoops!) is one of Amazon’s deals for today, down to $69, which if memory serves is the price it was on Black Friday last year. Here was our discussion with Instant Pot tips for busy ladies.

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Comments

  1. Mediterranean Diet :

    Can anyone recommend resources, ideally cookbooks but also blogs, that describe meal planning and portion sizes for the Mediterranean diet? DH wants to follow it, but he’s not understanding the transition to low fat/low starch and large amounts of veggies. For relationship reasons, I’d rather bring in outside sources than educate him myself. TIA.

    • Anonymous :

      The Greek food blog Olive Tomato is really wonderful. The blogger is a dietician.

    • Nancy Harmon Jenkins has a fantastic New Mediterranean Diet Cookbook that I read cover-to-cover when I started moving toward that style of eating (or, simply putting a name to what I was mostly already doing!). I see that ATK has a Med Diet cookbook, too, but I haven’t tried it (though I generally enjoy their books).

      I also follow The Mediterranean Dish blog (https://www.themediterraneandish.com/) on Pinterest, though I don’t usually read the blog itself.

      Happy eating!

      • (also, not a blog or resource necessarily, but when I started, I made basically a chart with what I could eat and how much per day/week/month; I tracked portions and things there. It was really helpful when I got started, and kept me on track without being obsessive…I am someone for whom WW-style tracking has worked but crossed the line into obsessive and frankly unhealthy. Loose tracking was good!)

    • I have some good Mediterranean cookbooks, but most are not “lifestyle” cookbooks — more like special/ celebratory meals. My husband has family in Lebanon, and as you pointed out, there is abundant produce (trays of apricots when you arrive at someone’s house, fruit for dessert, lots of vegetables and herbs straight from the garden), lots of grains and legumes, very little meat (more for seasoning than central component of the plate), and very little processed food (one family member worked full-time, commutes a good distance, and spent all weekend cooking and freezing). The way they eat/cook doesn’t really require a recipe. And this isn’t just one house — it’s lots of relatives in several villages and even the restaurants to some extent.

    • Anony Mouse :

      I’ve been a fan of Mediterrasian.com for a number of years. They have lots of recipes on their website (http://mediterrasian.com/), and their cookbook, The Mediterrasian Way, goes more in-depth into lifestyle aspects.

  2. Anonymous :

    Any suggestions for what to wear to the Pitbull/Enrique concert? I’m working on making new friends and got invited but it’s not what I normally would have bought tickets for. I’ve spent all weekend listening to their songs and I’m excited, just not a clue how to dress…

    • Anonymous :

      Why not ask the friends what they are wearing?

    • Pretty sure you could go naked to that concert and be appropriately dressed.

    • Anonymous :

      Pretty much any concert is covered off with dark denim + off the shoulder top + heels or booties

    • Reply All :

      I’d do a ripped jean, booties, and a not-too-polished top. Now is the time to pull out the clearance rack crop-top that you bought because it was $7 but have never actually worn!

      • Ha, I love that “we all got that one top in our closet…”

        Alternatively, OP, you can hit up a Ross or Rainbow and buy a top for $10. Anything with cutouts, lace panels, or foil accents will work.

    • Anonymous :

      Does this work?
      https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07177K121/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A2IPD98RVM3DTL&psc=1

  3. Any recommendations on an itinerary that includes Lisbon? I’m planning a girls trip in the spring and that’s the only sure part. I’ve seen Madrid and Barcelona add-ons but I’ve already been to both those places. Is Seville worth it for a few days? Any other suggestions?

    • A friend of mine went to Lisbon and then rented a car and drove around Portugal and had the best time. Why not do something like that? If you google Portugal itenarary lots of suggestions will pop up.

    • How long do you have? If it’s about a week, I’d do Porto and Lisbon (with day trips to Sintra and the beach, if the weather’s nice). Seville or Cadiz could be good subs for Porto if you’d rather get into Spain. But really, Porto is amazingly beautiful, even before you get into all the fabulous booze. If port’s not your thing, there are a lot of other wineries in the Douro region. But then my dream girls trip is basically boozing around Europe, so I might be biased…

      I think Madrid and Barcelona would be too far to be worth it, unless you want to burn a lot of time in airports.

    • Are you into art/architecture? Seville is GORGEOUS and we had an amazing time exploring the castles/cathedrals and museums, but if you’re more looking to wander the streets and eat (or lounge) you can do that too. I’d highly recommend it. I think you can definitely cover the highlights in 2-3 days especially if you pre-book your tickets for any museums or tours.

      • Thanks all. We have about 9 days not including travel so I’m looking for the best use of time and sounds like it’s not worth flying anywhere far. Also love booze and Port wine!

        • With nine days, I’d stick with Lisbon and Porto as the backbone of your itinerary, and add in a couple of fun day trips to wineries or random, pretty little Portuguese towns. Coimbra is a BEAUTIFUL college town about halfway between Lisbon and Porto; Evora is also cool and would give you a totally different view of Portugal than the other two. Another off the beaten track option would be to hop into Spain north of Porto, instead of heading south towards Seville. There’s also serious “undiscovered” wine country up there (Rias Baixas, Ribeira Sacra, etc.), and Galicia’s wine festival season should be starting up in the spring. Ourense is a super-quaint little city if you wanted to crash there for a night and see a totally different side of Spain than you’d get in Seville.

          The good news is that booze will be excellent and cheap wherever you go :)

    • Tons to see in Portugal. Spent two weeks there this summer. I really enjoyed Evora and the Alentejo region, but Rick Steves has some great itinerary ideas.
      If you rent a car (which I’d recommend if you want to see more than Porto and Lisbon) wait until you are ready to leave Lisbon. You can get everywhere you need to within Lisbon and teh common side trips (including Sintra) on public transit, Uber, walking and parking/driving is a pain

      • Yep, agreed with the driving.we had to park our car in city parking lots then taxi to our arbnb apartments as we couldn’t get any of the cars into the old streets in Lisbon or Porto
        . We also wasted money on car rental while it sat there

        Hubs and I are very used to North american driving and standard cars but the inner city driving was extremely stressful

    • Just spent 3 days in Porto and 4 days in Lisbon (loved it!). Recommend Duoro Valley as a day trip outside Porto. Day trips from Lisbon include Sintra and Belem.

    • A former colleague of mine just started a travel company called Travel Honey. I’m pretty sure they are offering a free Portugal itinerary right now that includes Lisbon and Porto. Might be worth checking out!

  4. pineapple :

    I am a recent graduate and have landed a place on a really well respected graduate engineering programme here in the UK. I am required to relocate every 4 months for a year, after which I will be given a permanent role (in one place). I got engaged in April, and am quite nervous about leaving my Fiance at home whilst I move around the country. I have never lived alone before and feel quite anxious about the prospect.

    Similarly, when I do receive my permanent role next year, my Fiance will probably relocate with me (assuming the job will require me to move from our current location). He will either work remotely, or find a new job. I am apprehensive about this, and feel a lot of guilt around making him move. He would be perfectly willing as he has no family ties etc in our current town. I like the idea of moving and starting our ‘real lives’ together, but I just feel it’s a lot of responsibility on my shoulders. Side note: We have lived together for 4 years already.

    Thoughts? xox

    • You said he “would be perfectly willing” and I can’t tell if that means you’ve talked about it in depth and you know he’s comfortable. I think after having a few conversations and making a more reliable job plan for him will help ease both yours and his anxieties.

    • Flats Only :

      Since you’ve never lived alone, and don’t seem to want to now, why not plan on finding a short term flat share in each location? Perhaps your programme will assist in that process.

  5. givemyregards :

    Anyone up for vicarious shopping? I seem to have hit a wall trying to find new work pants. I’m looking for black, skinny(ish) style that are NOT ankle length. I need a 32-32 inch inseam. A little bit of stretch would be nice, but not essential. The closest I’ve found are the J. Crew Paley pants, but they’re just a little too cropped and wide at the ankle. I honestly feel kind of dumb that I’m having such a hard time finding something, but all the old standbys (J. Crew, BR, Ann Taylor) seem to be exclusively cropped or trouser/flare styles. Under $150 would be preferable, but at this point I’d probably spend anything for the right pair!

    • givemyregards :

      Meant to add that AT/Loft pants just…do not fit me very well. I’ve tried all three of their fits and just can’t seem to make it work, so those options are probably out?

    • Have you checked out Theory?

      • givemyregards :

        That’s a good suggestion. I’ve looked online but their website just says “full length” which has got to be the most useless piece of information possible. It does say their models is 5’10 and shows them as full length on her, but still…is it that hard to put the actual inseam online? I probably should just go find a pair to try on in a store, though.

        • I’m 5’4 and when I buy full length Theory pants (though it’s been a few years since my last purchase) I sometimes need to hem them by 6″

      • Anonymous :

        Seconding, Theory has a great pair of slim-straight pants that I think are a 33-inch inseam.

    • I really like the “Bi-stretch skinny ankle pants” from the gap.

      They are ankle pants but you can get them in tall sizes which come with a 32 inch inseam. I have them in several colors and they work well for me in my business casual job that requires a lot of travel.

      • givemyregards :

        I think I actually have a pair of these too! They’re really old, so I’m not sure if it’s the exact same style but I loooove them. They’re just a little casual for my office, though, so I only wear them on days I don’t have meetings (which is rare). But I will take another look at these – maybe I can make ’em work.

      • BR pants come in Tall too.

    • First Year Anon :

      Why don’t you try to order some of the “cropped” styles in the tall/long length? then they will be full length on you!

      • givemyregards :

        I’ve tried! But at lot of places, they’re still too short. J. Crew’s tall length for some of their cropped styles is 28 1/4″ inches, which just makes it looks like I grew out of my pants.

    • I just don’t understand how this is not an act of terr*rism? That’s all I heard on the news this morning and it’s absolutely absurd to me. Agree that nothing will change, although the naïve, optimistic side of me is thinking that just maybe the fact that it’s a country music concert, NV, and the GOP is in charge will somehow mean that they’ll care (but I know they wont).

      • OOPS. Wrong post. Ankle pants or full length. def not the issue.

        • Never too many shoes... :

          I actually thought your first sentence was about the proliferation of ankle pants… which seemed a bit over the top but not completely outside the realm of possibility here.

          • Hahaha – I don’t want to make light of a very serious issue, but imagining that as the start of a rant about ankle pants put a smile on my sad face this morning.

    • If you are willing to spend that much, why not get a less expensive trouser or flare style and have a tailor take in the legs to your desired level of skinnyness? It is not a difficult alteration if the pants aren’t lined.

      • givemyregards :

        I have actually done this, with varying degrees of success. I bought a couple pairs of J. Crew wider leg trousers (more of a bootcut, really) and had them taken in. The problem was that I didn’t realize that the seat of the pants would also need to be reworked; it was designed for the leg of the pant to flow more, so it sort of bubbled out when the legs were taken in (sorry if this makes no sense, it’s kind of hard to explain). The alterations were extensive/expensive so I didn’t want to pay more to have them redone. I still wear them, but only with longer jackets/cardigans that cover it up. I would be willing to try this again, but I think it’d be better to at least start with a pair that are meant to be slimmer.

        • Sorry it didn’t work for you; I can picture what you are saying. (I have big thighs so I think it might work better for me). Hope some others have useful tips. I don’t understand the ankle-length obsession at all.

          • givemyregards :

            I don’t either! I feel like if you need to wear a suit to work you probably also need to wear full length pants…

    • white house black market has some good pants this season

    • Old Navy pixie pants come in long inseams.

    • Banana Republic makes their Ryan-fit pants, which have a straight/slim (not quite skinny though) leg shape, in a tall length with a 33-inch inseam. I have them in both the black bi-stretch and the black wool, and they look terrific for a nice full-length pant alternative to flowy trousers in my business professional office.

      • givemyregards :

        Thanks! I will check these out – I think BR is having a good sale right now, too…

  6. Blonde Lawyer :

    I just wanted to start a Las Vegas post. Not much to say. These tragedies are becoming so common. If Sandy Hook didn’t change anything, I fear nothing will. I’m still waiting to hear from a friend that just moved back to Vegas. We don’t know if he was there but it’s definitely his type of scene. We are hoping he went to bed early, is still asleep and blissfully unaware of what happened and all of the texts he is getting.

    • Anonymous :

      Hope your friend is found safe. Sadly, your Sandy Hook comment completely encompasses how I feel. Las Vegas is a huge tragedy but I would be very surprised if it changes anything. This will be the biggest one ever, until the next one.

    • Hugsssss

    • One of my SO’s friends was at the concert, with his wife and six-month-old baby. They’re fine, thank god, but it’s just horrifying.

      And the most awful thing is that nothing will change. I’m in total agreement that if Sandy Hook didn’t force changes, nothing will.

    • givemyregards :

      Also hoping your friend is safe and sound. And I agree with you and Anon at 9:39 – what will it take to change people’s perceptions? I’ve heard a lot of “this is why we need more guns, so we can protect ourselves,” but to me that’s such flawed logic. How are you going to protect yourself from a guy on the 32nd floor?

    • Boston Legal Eagle :

      I hope you friend is safe. I hate how these tragedies are becoming so common and how fearful I become to just live my life, especially with a child now. I keep thinking of the phrase (I think someone here said it) – look for the helpers. There are always helpers in every tragedy and that is who I am grateful for.

      • Look for the helpers :

        Mr Rogers said it.

      • I go to that same quote (originally a Mister Rogers quote!), and while it offers a glimmer of hope, it still makes me feel so deflated about where we are as a nation and society of neighbors.

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        Not a single person has mentioned it at work so far today. Maybe because no one knows what to say anymore. When mass shootings were less common, everything halted to a stop and everyone gathered around the break room TV in disbelief. Now it’s just another day in the USA.

        • Yup. Columbine felt like it stopped the world. I turned on the radio this morning and it was all chatter about college sports, like nothing had happened.

          • + I remember exact where I was when I heard about Columbine and the feeling of horror. I can barely remember where I was for Sandy Hook and I’m terrified that in a year I won’t remember where I was when I heard about Las Vegas. I can’t stand that in the last 20 years, this has become our new normal. Everyone at work is just saying ‘how sad’ and carrying on like it’s NBD.

          • So true. I was in high school for Columbine and it was A Very Big Deal to the point that class time was devoted to watching/discussing the news, school counselors were out in force, etc. I remember Sandy Hook because I was pregnant and the news hit while I was at work in a “watch” environment where a big screen at the front of the room was always devoted to a news channel, and it was really, really hard for me to get through the day.

            But already I don’t remember having a visceral reaction or even surprise to Aurora, San Bernadino, Pulse, or this shooting, or to any of the other steady trickle of mass-casualty shootings that have happened in the last few years. The fact that that there are enough of them that I need an “any of the others” to act as a catch-all is just disgusting.

      • Love the Mr. Rogers quote, but I can’t call this a tragedy. It’s terrorism, plain and simple.

        • I haven’t seen anything about a political motive that would render this terrorism – has something come out?

          • Any mass shooting is terrorism, IMO. It’s an act meant to terrorize the population. It doesn’t matter if the motive is religious, political, or “I hate women/white people/concerts/people who are not me.”

          • Yes but your opinion is wrong. Terrorism has an actual meaning. If the motive is not political in some way, if it’s just I’m crazy and hate people and like murder, that is tragic. Not terrorism.

          • anon 10:02 :

            +1 to Anon at 12:52

          • By Nevada law, I think it fits the definition.

            “NRS 202.4415 “Act of terrorism” defined.

            “Act of terrorism” means any act that involves the use or attempted use of sabotage, coercion or violence which is intended to:

            (a) Cause great bodily harm or death to the general population; or

            (b) Cause substantial destruction, contamination or impairment of:

            (1) Any building or infrastructure, communications, transportation, utilities or services; or

            (2) Any natural resource or the environment.”

          • Anonymous :

            A lot of post-9/11 terrorism legislation contained very broad definitions. The term has been around a lot longer than those pieces of legislation. Just like terrorism itself has been around a long time. But if you are interested in comparing legal definitions:

            The U.S. Code of Federal Regulations defines terrorism as “the unlawful use of force and violence against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a government, the civilian population, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives” (28 C.F.R. Section 0.85)

            “Terrorism is commonly understood to refer to acts of violence that target
            civilians in the pursuit of political or ideological aims. ” – http://www.ohchr.org/Documents/Publications/Factsheet32EN.pdf

        • Pretty Primadonna :

          Yep. Domestic terrorism.

          • Anonymous :

            Terrorism can be domestic or international. It can be state-sponsored or undertaken by non-state entities. But the definition of the word requires a political or ideological aim. This was a horrific mass murder. That’s not worse or better than terrorism. It’s just different.

          • Anonymous :

            To be domestic terrorism, it would still require a political or ideological goal.

            Terrorism can be domestic or international. It can be state-sponsored or undertaken by non-state entities. But the definition of the word requires a political or ideological aim. This was a horrific mass murder. That’s not worse or better than terrorism. It’s just different.

    • Hope your friend is okay. This seems like the new reality in which we live. It’s not big wars fought in far off places. Instead it’s mass shootings and maniacs driving cars into crowds. Nothing is going to change from this. There will just be more of this in the future. The root cause is the mental illness that causes people to think it’s okay to commit mass murder. There’s no way to fix this unless you’re a mind reader and can anticipate all the evil things people are going to do.

      • This is probably true, but we as a nation have an obligation to make this kind of event “inefficient”. Assault weapons make it too, too easily to have mass casualties.

      • The way to fix this is gun control which ever other western industrialized country has and which means they hardly ever have these kinds of mass shootings. Yes they have other violent incidents but non-terrorism related mass shootings or mass casualty incidents are incredibly minimal in comparison to the daily reality of the USA.

        And don’t blame this on ‘mental illness’. It’s only ever ‘mental illness’ which the person who does it is white. If they are brown it’s ‘terrorism’ and if they are black it’s ‘gang violence’.

        • I think anyone of any color is mentally ill if they want to kill random strangers.

        • Could not agree more. Also, are we to believe that being American (whether by birth or location) predisposes people to mental illness? Because every.single.other.country has figured out how to protect its citizens from widespread gun violence and help its citizens suffering from mental illness.

        • +1. Of course people who kill others have mental illness, but the point is only white people have the privilege of committing mass murders and having it explained away as mental illness. Brown people=terrorists, black people=violent gang bangers.

          Of course people of all backgrounds have mental illness. Let’s not forget that includes PTSD from trauma. We know that kids who witness domestic violence, for example, are more likely to perpetrate it. But people of color are framed as violant deviants, not as traumatized individuals, unlike white perpetrators.

    • I just don’t understand how this is not an act of terr*rism? That’s all I heard on the news this morning and it’s absolutely absurd to me. Agree that nothing will change, although the naïve, optimistic side of me is thinking that just maybe the fact that it’s a country music concert, NV, and the GOP is in charge will somehow mean that they’ll care (but I know they wont).

      • Because he’s white. So we need to wait to see what his motivations were, apparently. That need to wait never applies when the shooter is brown and/or Muslim. *shakes head*

        • Linda from HR :

          From what I’ve read, he’d never shown any signs of being a violent person and had no political or religious identity, BUT he’s been going through a rough divorce. I wonder if he just snapped.

          • He didn’t snap. He staked out hotels, picked the best vantage point, and armed himself to the gills. This was a premeditated attack.

        • As a WOC and a Muslim, I had a huge sigh of relief when I realized the shooter was a white man. Every time I hear about an attack, I’m terrified it was perpetrated by someone who looks like me or someone I love, because then we’re not safe.

      • Terrorism isn’t just mass violence. It is the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims. There are no identified political aims in relation to this incident. That said, it may later be found to be domestic terrorism is the perpetrator had terrorist ties but that seems unlikely if they have stated it is not a terrorism incident.

        • I would agree if this was a workplace shooting. It’s a concert. Hard to think of a motivation for indiscriminately killing 50+ and injuring who knows how many more that isn’t at least somewhat political. And the point of terrorism is to incite terror in people doing every day things – this seems like it was right on the money in that regard.

          • Terrorism always has a political purpose. It’s the literal definition of the word. Inciting terror in people doing everyday things is done for a political purpose. Las Vegas is a horrific mass murder but it is not clear at this point that it is terrorism. Calling all mass killings terrorism causes confusion about what it means and confuses how different responses to different types of violence are necessary to try and prevent recurrence.

          • Spirograph :

            I agree with Anonymous at 10:30 about the definition of terrorism, and also that it’s a distinction without a difference to most people. Whether this was a result of mental illness or politically inspired, the result is a terrorized populace.

            In any case, the comments above lamenting that this isn’t going to move the gun control needle at all are how I feel as well, and it’s just sad. No matter what the inspiration was, it’s impossible to argue that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people” here. or that “more good guys with guns” would have helped. You cannot single-handedly inflict 450+ casualties from 400 yards away without several guns and a bunch of ammo. (OK maybe a bomb, too, but researching/building one of that size is much more likely to trigger an investigation that might prevent the mass casualty event)

        • Agreed completely.

      • This article raised some interesting points about why domestic terrorism isn’t itself a crime http://www.npr.org/2017/08/14/543462676/why-the-govt-cant-bring-terrorism-charges-in-charlottesville

        • This is very interesting, but seems to me like the problem is with the statute not with what the actions in question should be labeled.

      • I’m not hopeful this one will be different. If a gunman shorting at the congressional baseball team didn’t change the view of the GOP, I don’t think anything will

        • Fair point. We should just arm concert goers. They can shoot back at the 32nd floor hotel room and that will solve everything.

          • Blonde Lawyer :

            I was thinking that this one might change that response at least. I’ll be honest. I’ve been guilty of thinking in past incidents (movie theaters and mall shootings for example) that a well trained armed individual could have prevented further casualties. A handgun is no match for an automatic weapon / sniper rifle. The only thing that would we know for sure would have prevented this is no access to that type of gun/ammo.

          • This is the most encouraging thing I’ve read today. Thank you for posting.

          • Blonde Lawyer :

            Suburban – Caleb Keeter, a guitarist for Josh Abbott Band is also posting on Twitter about how his crew had legal handguns on the bus and they were useless. They were afraid to touch them lest they be confused with the shooters. They also would not have helped in this situation. He says he was a 2A proponent before and believes that we need gun control now. It’s more encouraging news.

          • Thanks blonde lawyer. That is encouraging.

    • Anonattorney :

      Can I just say that I really could not care less about Trump’s take on things like this? I wish they would just not report about him anymore. Maybe we could have a news source that literally refers to him as “the head of the executive branch” and otherwise we can just go about our business. He has no moral authority and he does not care about bringing people together in times of crisis.

      • I hate him as much as anyone, but he is the President of the United States. It is the media’s job to report on the president’s actions. What he says and does after an incident like this is newsworthy.

        • Anonattorney :

          Except that’s my point – what Trump says after an incident like this is empty and meaningless, i.e., not worthy of reporting. Again, obviously this is just my opinion, and lots of people disagree. And of course the media is going to report on it. I just think it’s boring and pointless. And he really needs to focus on Puerto Rico, where he actually has the power to do something important and helpful, instead of showing up in Las Vegas on Wednesday for photo ops.

          • Anonattorney :

            Note – Trump’s take on the shooting is pointless (boring was a poor choice of words – I just mean that it doesn’t interest me). The shooting itself is a huge tragedy, and, once again, I feel sad and helpless in the face of another mass shooting in America.

          • Spirograph :

            I found his response to the Charlottesville incident extremely newsworthy. The fact that his empty platitudes and paraphrasing of scripture after the shooting yesterday was “boring” is probably a good thing. Although, it’s unfortunate he didn’t make it newsworthy in a good (IMHO) way by bringing gun control back into focus.

          • nasty woman :

            But the fact that his responses are so empty, meaningless, flippant, insensitive, insipid, glib, logically flawed, and detached from reality is entirely worth reporting.

    • For anyone outside of Las Vegas wanting to help somehow, please consider donating to the official victims’ fund. https://www.gofundme.com/dr2ks2-las-vegas-victims-fund

      • Am I the only one a little put off that the official victims’ fund is being administered through GoFundMe? There isn’t much detail about where this money will go or how it will be used, and we have to assume that GoFundMe is taking their portion of this, too. Certainly a day or two of time to pull together a more efficient donation setup would have been worthwhile?

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          It’s also very easy to fake a fraudulent one.

          • I agree it is not optimal, but it is easy for people to use/share and fast to put up. The linked campaign is legitimate.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      My friend is ok!!!! Thank you for all the thoughts!

  7. I’ve seen people here refer to a “right hand ring.” I’ve gathered that it means a nice ring that is worn on the right hand (so not an engagement ring) and is part of your standard daily jewelry (as opposed to a c*cktail ring). Does anyone have suggestions for where to find such a ring? I love wearing rings and want to invest in a single signature piece, but everything I can find is diamond engagement rings with the occasional token sapphire thrown in. TIA!

    • I would look at c o c k t a i l rings, or peruse some vintage selections. A few years back, jewelry stores used to have sections on their websites called “Right Hand Rings” but a quick check of an old favorite (Ross Simon) doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. They do have a “diamond fashion rings” section, though, that looks like it is full of what I’d consider right hand rings.

      My right hand ring is a stone-free white gold rope band that I bought on an anniversary trip in KW by jeweler whitfield jack. Some digging to find the non-wacky stuff, but man, his shop was interesting!

    • Gemvara

    • Do you want a sparkly right hand ring? Or a beautiful plain metal piece? Tiffany, from what I recall, often has attractive metal-only designs. The Cartier trinity ring is also subtle and lovely.

    • I had one made by a local female jeweler. It’s a fairly large golden rutilated quartz stone in an interesting cut with a band and setting designed by moi!

      It cost around $1500, which to me is not much for a unique investment piece and one I wear almost every day.

      • Agreed. I was casual friends with a jeweler and had him make me a ring for less than $500 when I was like 23. I’m almost 40 and the ring still looks impressive unique and not-dated. The key is to figure out what the jeweler like and give them an opportunity to be creative – you’ll be rewarded. That said, you have to find a jeweler that isn’t insulted by your price point. Most times they can recommend stones and material to keep you in your price point and to maximize your price point even. No Macy’s or BlueNile can compare (although they are probably good options).

      • MarieCurie :

        I’m in science and we routinely buy crystals (made in a lab) from different suppliers. Until right now I never knew what rutile crystals were, only that we wanted non-rutile. I’ve gotten a lot of insight on professional relationships from this blog, but never expected to get a technical assist!

      • Can you talk about how you found that person? Love the idea of supporting someone local but I’m not sure how to look at someone’s portfolio and see if they match with my style.

        • I asked for recommendations from friends. Two of my friends’ engagement rings were designed by this jeweler and I have several other friends who buy pieces from her. I went to her website and browsed her own custom designs and found something similar to what I wanted. FWIW, she carries a lot in the store that isn’t my style, but quite a bit that is. I created a Pinterest board for them with rings that I liked, then we worked from there to come up with my ring. I requested some changes to the initial design and she was more than happy to incorporate the ones that did not affect the structural integrity of the ring. She also had to get several different stones for me before I found one I liked.

          Hope that helps!

        • My response is in moderation.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      It can be whatever you like, really. I wear a right-hand ring which is three sapphires that belonged to my grandmother surrounded by diamonds. It is a bit blingy but it makes me so happy that I really do not care…

    • A Practical Wedding has several posts about non-traditional, ethically sourced engagement rings that would make beautiful right hand rings.

    • Baconpancakes :

      My next big professional milestone, I intend to buy myself a right hand ring that is marketed as a wedding band, but if it’s on my right hand, I doubt anyone will even realize it was marketed as a wedding band. I think if you look for “organic” or “vintage” style rings, you might find something you like, even if it’s technically an engagement ring or a wedding band.

      (The one I’m looking at is the Selene at Ken and Dana Design, if anyone’s interested).

      • Oh that is gorgeous! I love the image with the ring stacked in three different colors. My style is a little more modern/edgy, but this is a great suggestion!

    • Macy’s actually has some very beautiful gemstone rings at good prices. A lot of their stuff is clunky and ugly, of course, but there were a few morganite pieces I loved, and I wound up with a delicate vintage-looking emerald and diamond ring I was not expecting to find there that was appraised for almost 4x what I paid for it. Their sapphires are generally too dark for my taste, but emeralds, topaz, pearls, rubies, etc., are nice.

    • Catbird.

    • New Tampanian :

      I think mine could technically be called an engagement ring but IDGAF. It’s a Le’vian, “strawberry” gold. Very dainty. has a bunch of little diamonds up the band two “larger” (they are not large – just relative to the teeny ones up the band they are bigger) diamonds and in the center is morganite. Similar to this but with morganite in the middle. I bought it for my 34th birthday as a “welp, I’m not going to wait around for someone else to buy me a sparkly ring”. It was under $900.

      https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjs6_2XpdLWAhXL7iYKHbloCBcQjRwIBw&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.jewelers.org%2Fjewelry-gallery%2Fproduct%2FNDQ4OQ%3D%3D&psig=AOvVaw34fStqtkorLkaym4GQ9D0R&ust=1507045639262974

    • anonlawyer :

      david yurman. I have 3 such rings that I rotate regularly on my right hand. I mix in some of my heirlooms from my mom when I wear gold.

    • Look for a jeweler that has a “full bench” – usually these jewelers make a lot of engagement rings. That’s kind of bread and butter for jewelers. Go look in their case. Does anything strike your fancy? Try on a bunch of rings, even if they don’t hit you immediately, you might like them on your hand.

      Your ring is going to be – like this one, by different, with a stone like that but larger/smaller, and a wider/narrower band, and in platinum/rose gold/titanium and not yellow gold etc. and a jeweler with a bench can easily do all of that.

      My current right hand ring, made by my neighborhood jeweler, is a wide band inset with different sparkly little gems in a random pattern.

    • I crave a Spinelli Kilcollin for my right hand ring. Gotta dream big!

  8. Recs for some basic long sleeve tops to put under a work blazer? No button downs and something I can buy in 5 colors a plus.

    • Banana Republic makes a long-sleeve modal t-shirt that I wear under blazers a lot. The fabric is softer and a little dressier than a normal t-shirt, and they cut them closer to the body so there isn’t too much fabric bulking you up under the blazer but your arms still stay warm.

  9. New Orleans advice please! :

    My girlfriends and I are planning a girls’ weekend in New Orleans in the spring. We prefer to stay in VRBOs rather than hotels. Does anyone have any recommendations for neighborhoods? We want to shop (boutiques), eat, drink, and maybe do a little sightseeing. We don’t need to be in the center of the action, but we want to be within walking distance or a short uber ride away. Thanks for your help!

    • I think of the French Quarter as the center of the action in NOLA, so you may want to try the Garden District. It’s not far via Uber.

    • I would look into staying near Magazine Street. It’s a fun little district with restaurants and shopping and would be a quick uber to other uptown areas (I’d recommend Audobon Park) and the french quarter. Have fun!

    • New Orleans :

      Sounds like you want to be Uptown. (So look for Irish Channel, Garden District, Audubon.) However, the Frenchquarter, CBD, Warehouse District could also work for you – it’s a quick Uber ride between the Uptown and Downtown areas. You can also take the streetcar to get between Uptown and Downtown.

      I would skip neighborhoods like: Marigny, Bywater, Midcity, City Park, Esplanade – while they can be a great neighborhoods, I think they’re too far out for what you want.

    • A friend of mine has a large (3 br) apartment on VRBO that would probably suit you well. It’s a block off of St. Charles uptown past the universities. It’s in a great neighborhood for getting other places and restaurants, etc. and not bad for the Quarter either. Email me at nolar e t t [email protected] for more info, if you’re interested.

  10. Any suggestions for a last-minute-ish girls trip between Christmas and New Years? Coming from the Northeast US, open to US and Europe, no zika zones. Thanks in advance!!

    • spa/ski in Banff? Spa at Banff Spring Fairmont property is great. But it does book up.

    • Calibrachoa :

      Would European Christmas markets be too cheesy?A lot of them run into early January and the cities have a lot more to offer, too

    • Asheville! If you’re interested in the Biltmore at all, it is gorgeous at Christmastime.

    • New Orleans can be chilly or warm at that time of year (no telling), but it’s actually a great time of year to visit.

  11. Shopping help pls :

    I am having SUCH a hard time lately finding work tops for fall that aren’t off the shoulder, cold shoulder, bell sleeves, or covered in ruffles. I want tops that are more interesting than a basic button-up or long-sleeved tee, but not THAT interesting. Banana and J Crew, my old stand bys, look like ruffles threw up all over them. I do not understand fashion these days.

    • givemyregards :

      I am also very baffled by the ruffle trend that has resurfaced. I went into BR last week and everything was HIDEOUS. I managed to find one plain cardigan that fit my needs but was otherwise totally unimpressed. I personally wear a blazer over everything, so I’ve been doing sleeveless tops with long sleeve scoop neck t-shirts under them for warmth. My SO teases me about it because without the blazer it looks pretty ridiculous, but so it goes!

    • This is only available in XS right now but their inventory changes frequently and I absolutely love it. Actually considered ordering it in my regular size for later despite being pregnant at the moment and then convinced myself to be reasonable. Still debating it! https://factory.jcrew.com/p/womens-clothing/shirts_tops/blouses/longsleeve-printed-tieneck-top/H0903?color_name=gilded-amber-copper

      • This may be a bit too hippie dippie for you, but I would totally wear this one to work too: https://www.loft.com/autumn-dream-henley-blouse/439130?skuId=23674912&defaultColor=0473&colorExplode=false&catid=catl000011

      • It’s recommended here a lot, but I’ve had really good luck at Talbots lately. Yes, there are still some things with ruffles, but many more work appropriate choices than I’ve seen at other stores. Definitely no weird cutouts. It’s one of the few places where I feel the quality and durability are still on point.

    • I know! I usually pick up a few JCrew pieces (off the sale rack, but still) each month, and I have apparently been on an accidental shopping ban. I spent $55 in August (one pair of shoes) and nothing in September. October isn’t looking promising either, based on the amount of ruffles and bows in the new additions.

      It IS good motivation to go through my closet and find pieces that I’d half forgotten about, though!

    • I think it’s backlash from the oversimplified drapey blouse trend. Now I’m seeing things that are somewhat drapey AND covered in ruffles. I don’t understand it.

    • And what’s up with button front cold shoulder tops???

    • Anonymous :

      I have no encouragement, just commiseration. The new line from AT is all these beautiful olives which is great for my coloring but every.single.top has some goofy sleeve, or ruffles, or pleating out the wazoo. WHYYY

    • I feel the same way! I recently ordered — and like — the Ann Taylor Faux Wrap Knit Top, which is long-sleeved. It’s very close to the BR shawl-collar wrap top from a couple of years ago. The AT version does have 19% wool in the blend, though, so some commenters have found it too itchy. I think it will be okay for me personally, and hope that may keep it from pilling as fast as the BR tops did.

    • This is going to sound nuts, but Zara actually has some nice work-appropriate blouses! Granted, some of the styling is a little cray, and if your office is suuuuuper conservative these might not work, but these are ones I’m considering for my own office (finance, business but not biz formal):
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/v-neck-top-c733890p5090028.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/satin-blouse-with-gathered-detail-c733890p4933596.html These sleeves could be nuts, could be fine
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/floral-bodysuit-with-long-sleeves-c733890p5052061.html with a black pencil skirt
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/sleeveless-top-c733890p4661035.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/-c733890p5137024.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/high-neck-draped-top-c733890p4744036.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/top-with-contrasting-piping-c733890p4770512.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/flowing-blouse-with-gathered-sleeves-c733890p4835039.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/tweed-peplum-top-c733890p4795083.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/long-sleeve-crossed-front-blouse-c733890p4765553.html
      https://www.zara.com/us/en/woman/tops/view-all/v-neck-blouse-c733890p4908379.html

  12. I’m applying for career type jobs after flunking out of grad school (phd) (it’s been a hard process and about a year later I’m ready emotionally to search seriously). So, do I really really need a linked in? I’m so weirded out by putting so much personal information in the public domain (not only for potential employers and HR staff but also for people that know me personally who may like to stalk). The other dilemma is that I don’t know what to put as a generic thing about what I do — think historian back ground willing/keen to do research in that field if it exists but simultaneously (because I know there are so few historian positions out there) communications/marketing where I have a little training and some decent volunteer experience to back me up (the area that I’m quite interested in but I do realize that I have to compete with those whose education and experience far surpass mine). How useful is it to have a very broad contact list on linked in? I’m so private I’d prefer only professional but I hear all these things about any person may be a good contact. Lastly, do I need to upload all my employment, volunteer, education, etc. details or is a highlight sufficient and if the latter how does one determine what is sufficient? I’m just trying to get things done here through so much anxiety. Thanks so much in advance.

    • JMO, but I don’t think you need a LinkedIn. As a lawyer, the only thing I use it for is seeing which old classmates are at which firms now and thinking how that might come in handy if I ever need to reach out. If I didn’t have a public-facing career, I probably wouldn’t have one. If you have privacy concerns or just don’t want your information out there, I say it’s perfectly fine to skip out on this.

      • Oh no I couldn’t disagree more with this. I have a number of friends who are recruiters (one of whom specializes in flunked out PhD candidates to work in tech, I am not kidding) and they all use Linked In almost exclusively to find candidates.

        Don’t overthink it. Just put the basics in there – dates and degrees and prior jobs – you don’t need a mission statement or a description of what you’re looking for. Just your contact information. Then “friend” everyone in your contacts on there whom you know professionally or even semi-professionally.

        Yes, you need a Linked in. Just do it.

    • Maddie Ross :

      I am not a Linked In fan, I’ll be honest, but I’m not job searching, so I guess it’s less relevant to me (and as an attorney, I have a firm bio up with the same type of relevant info). I don’t understand your concern about the “personal” information on a Linked In page though. I don’t like them because I think they’re messy, the “recommendations” section is odd and I hate getting invites from people I don’t know who are trolling. The info that goes on them though is so very very benign – your name, your education, some professional background. A good g**gle search could turn all that up anyway…

    • I know the HR at my company and the in-house recruiting specialist that works closely with my team trawl social media for leads… but I think developing an in-person network is going to help you much more unless you’re the type who would post your own professional blog posts/ articles that could get you a wider look.

      I have a bare-bones LinkedIn profile, and don’t accept connections from anyone I don’t know personally. I do get the cyber equivalent of cold-calls from recruiters occasionally, but I am not looking and ignore them at the moment. It’s worth having a profile, but if you’re not comfortable with fully fleshing it out, I don’t think you’re missing much.

      • +1

        Keep it super bare bones. People who really get into detail on LinkedIn seem like complete over-sharers to me.

    • I think LinkedIn can be beneficial but would advise against creating an account as part of your job search. If potential employers look you up and see that you only have a handful of connections, it might work against you.

    • Triangle Pose :

      Curious, how are recruiters or hiring managers going to find you if you don’t have even a bare bones LinkedIn? You say you are unemployed so it’s not like you have a firm bio or university bio up online for someone to stuble across. I would recommend you put up a bare bones one and include field-relevant volunteer experience (pro bono work or the like). You don’t need every hobby but if you are on a non-profit board or otherwise relevant “extra curricular” I would include it to widen your network and your chance of coming up in profile searches.

    • I’m in HR and I get being weirded out by LinkedIn if you’re not used to it, but it is considered kind of weird when people are applying for jobs and they don’t have a bare bones profile. Just put high-level information on there.

    • I would get a LinkedIn account b/c people use it to fact check your resume. Your resume and LinkedIn should match and you should have contacts from prior work/school, otherwise, things can look suspicious to fact checkers.

  13. Debt v Retirement :

    Jumping off the really interesting post about finances for those entering big law, I’d love to hear from people about how they balance big salaries, big debt, and retirement?

    • For me — I maxed out retirement to 18k from day 1 regardless of the amount of debt. I considered the time value of money/benefit of starting at 25 and also considered what the market had been returning vs. relatively low interest loans. My other consideration — if I threw every $ into loans including retirement/other savings/bonuses –maybe I would’ve finished them off in 4-5 yrs. That would have meant I’d be 30 with $0 in retirement and little/no other savings. I know people say — so what — you can catch up quickly. But looking at the state of biglaw, nothing is guaranteed anymore; sure maybe you’ll make it to partner or to 8th-9th yr associate before being told no partnership but at my firm, there are a LOT of cuts made at the 4th-5th yr level (if there isn’t enough attrition and they just don’t need 50 4th yrs the way they needed 50 juniors doing diligence). So worse case scenario, you pay off loans in 5 yrs, get pushed out immediately after and are walking away with $0 retirement and minimal savings and then land a 110k job — where it won’t be easy to double down on savings. Much better to balance it IMO — max out saving/retirement — while also paying down loans and biglaw salaries are big enough that you can pay 2x or 3x monthly payments — so pay it down faster but not asap and you can still build up retirement/other savings.

    • I’m a second-soon-to-be-third year in BigLaw, but didn’t start my firm job until after a year-long clerkship. I’m in the hole for $253K in student loan debt right now, which was originally at $285K (thought I was going into government, plans changed, and under the assumption that I was going PSLF, I was on IBR for a year, and didn’t make the interest payments I should have).

      So, I’m prioritizing by saving ~$9,000 each year in retirement, and throwing the remainder at student loans. The plan is to split any raises 50/50 between retirement and student loans in order to build savings while I can, and get rid of student loans as quickly as possible. This means not saving for a house/wedding. With a SO in grad school too (but a much healthier financial approach), it’s going to be a while before we can start reaching financial goals.

      Sigh. Oh the things I would tell 22-year-old me!

    • I didn’t put any money in retirement in my Big Law days. I had no employer match, the market was not doing great (this was in the recession) and my loans were at 7-8%, so I don’t regret paying off the loans first. Once my loans were paid off, I probably should have started saving for retirement but I didn’t, and prioritized cash savings so we could buy a house in cash. We began saving for retirement around age 30 and save a *lot* for our ~$150k HHI (spouse and I each max a 401k and Roth IRA, both get a very sizable employer contribution and save quite a bit beyond all that). Would I advise waiting until 30 to start saving for retirement? Not necessarily, but I also don’t have huge regrets about it. The paid off house gives us huge peace of mind (our property taxes are very low, so we could live for years without draining savings even if both of us lost our jobs) and we are on track to have plenty of money by age 65.

    • Anonymous :

      I had about $110K in student loans going into Big Law, about $48K of which was at 6.8%. I spent my first year and a half or two years making gigantic payments on those loans. My firm didn’t match 401K contributions, and the interest rate was so high that I couldn’t stomach a slow approach. Once I paid off the high-interest loans, I changed my approach. I started maxing out my 401K as a third year. I continued to aggressively pay down my loans while also saving substantially for a down payment in my HCOL area. I finished paying off my loans a few years ago. As a sixth year, my loans are gone, I have about $130K in 401K and another $140K in index funds, and 35% equity in my home. If I weren’t currently paying cash for my wedding next year, I’d have even more saved.

      The absolute key was not giving in to too much lifestyle inflation. I had a roommate for my first three years in Big Law. I save like I might get fired tomorrow.

    • Cornellian :

      I also maxed my 401K and backdoor IRA from the first year in big law. I chased scholarship money to a state school for law school, so only ended up with a combined five-figure debt load (no parental help on college or grad school), aggressively paid down the 6 and 8% stuff and then threw some extra at the small ones.

      I would prioritize retirement over paying down student loans, unless there’s some weird fact pattern that I’m not thinking about.

    • Anon BTDT :

      If you contribute to a 401k, you can borrow against it later at lower interest rates than most other debts.

      You could, theoretically, build up 401k, and then take a loan against it to pay off other debts like student loans, or use the cash for a downpayment or wedding expenses, etc. The money you put away in a 401k might also help you qualify for a jumbo home mortgage one day (and jumbo loans gets used to buy starter homes these days so maybe plan on it). I guess the point is just b/c you put money away into a 401k doesn’t mean it isn’t there to help you manage debt – it has a role to play when you retire student debt and/or qualify for mortgage debt down the road. I would contribute to 401k at least to take advantage of employer match and probably up to the IRS maximum – 18K right? Beyond that, I’d pay debt off.

      Also, if you think the stock market is due for a crash, you might wait to start investing AFTER the crash when the price is “low” to you; however, I’d bet on run-away prices for a few more years. But that’s just a personal opinion.

  14. Let’s say you check in with a friend undergoing a very tough (but very busy) life season (dying parent). They respond they are doing OK all things considered and might be able to hook up for lunch/coffee the next day or later in the week. You can only do later in the week and they say let’s see how the week goes. Then no follow-up from them. It’s been a couple weeks now. Would you reach back out?

    • Yes

    • Yes, along the lines of “hey, thinking about you and your family.”

    • I dropped a lot of balls when my father was dying. Even if your friend is normally very good at keeping in touch she’s not playing her A game right now. She needs the support and friendship more than ever though.

    • Yup, as someone who went through that this year, reach out. If she’s too overwhelmed to get together, she’ll still appreciate hearing from you.

      Also, after the parent passes she’s going to need just as much support. People tend to be supportive around when they hear the news (parent is dying, then parent has died), and the support may not be there in between those times.

  15. Cusp and plus-size ladies: I found a great new work top at JCPenney that is similar to my beloved Calvin Klein pleat-neck shells, but comes in more colors and is less expensive. It’s the Worthington Essential Tee and it comes in plus, straight and petite sizes. It has short sleeves which is nice as I usually don’t go sleeveless at work. It’s a thinner matte jersey fabric – not shiny, which I was concerned about, but no worries. Machine washable. I am usually a 16w/18w; I ordered a 2x and it fits fine although I could have sized down. I got 5 tops in my core wardrobe colors for $10 each – not a bad deal! Link following.

    • https://m.jcpenney.com/p/worthington-essential-tee-plus/ppr5007252065?COLOR=Fantasia&N=287&catId=SearchResults&pTmplType=regular&searchTerm=Worthington+essential+tee

    • I looked for the non plus size version of this top on JCPenney website – FYI there isn’t one

      • So weird! I know they used to have it in misses, as I bought 3 or 4 earlier in the summer. Meanwhile search “Worthington® Short-Sleeve Scoopneck Top” or “Worthington® Short-Sleeve Keyhole Blouse” for a couple similar options. (The different colors come up as different entries, at least for me, just to make it more confusing.) The Worthington polyester does wear like iron without getting shiny, at least for me – I was it in lingerie bags, but then throw in the dryer and it’s good to go.

  16. It’s Instant Pot, not Instapot.

  17. Recruiting committee member :

    For anyone who is considering law school or in law school and deciding on a practice area, this resource could be extremely useful. It is a compilation of real-world descriptions by lawyers in different practice areas, including biglaw, in-house, government and public interest. I came across this while doing some investigation on law student perspectives on firms and on-campus recruiting during the recruiting process for my firm. The description of my practice was detailed, accurate and insightful. I wish this had existed when I was a law student. http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=23&t=228583

  18. Any recommendations for jeans (or any pants for that matter) for someone with a very straight figure? I am semi-apple in that I carry all of my weight in the middle, but I’m not overweight (though on the high end of the normal BMI range) so my torso is basically just the same width throughout, and it’s impossible to find jeans/pants because most seem to anticipate bigger hips or a more defined waist. Stretchy jeans are good for a while but then I inevitably have to spend the day hoisting them up.

    Any other recommendations for how to dress my body would be appreciated! Feeling sort of hopeless clothes-wise.

    • I’m roughly the same shape. I’ve gained some weight recently, all around the middle, which has bumped me up a couple sizes, but I’ve been relatively happy with NYDJ jeans and pants. Some are still a little bit tight in the waist and thus prone to falling down, but if I lost a little weight, they’d probably be perfect. I’m also quite short, so something that comes in petite is key, and most NYDJ does.

    • Anonymous :

      What about trying men’s styles? They would be cut more straight up and down.

    • Anony Mouse :

      I’m a fan of Madewell’s Rail Straight jeans from a couple of years ago. You can still find pairs on eBay, Poshmark and the like.

    • Anonymous :

      Try belts. I am pretty straight up and down, though I’m overweight, and it makes such a difference in my day not to have to hoist my pants all the time. If you don’t like to tuck or semi-tuck, they make very flat belts that are meant to be worn under untucked shirts.

    • I have the same problem. The only ones that work for me are a German brand. I don’t know about the availability in the US, but MAC dream jeans. They somehow keep their shape eventhough they are stretchy, so they never sag.

  19. Small Intestine Bacterial Overgrowth :

    Has anyone ever been diagnosed with this? My doctor wants me to have a test done for it based on some GI issues I have when I eat certain foods.

    • Yep. Took a course of highly targeted antibiotics for it a few months ago and showed some improvement, but not perfect yet. Still working with my doctors to figure out what is going on and improve my absorption. Any questions I can answer for you?

      • Not sure if you’ll see this – but I suppose I am just generally wondering about the treatment and prospects for a “cure.” From what I’ve read online, it seems the recurrence rate is pretty high. I’m somewhat tempted to just avoid the foods that give me problems and call it a day, but I don’t know if that would be bad for my health long-term.

        • My understanding from my doctors is that it depends on the underlying reasons why you have the SIBO in the first place. For me, there is a low probability of total “cure” since I have some structural issues with my small intestine that make it a more hospitable environment for the wrong kind of bacteria to grow out of control. That means that I likely can’t just rely on one shot of antibiotics, but instead will have to take antibiotic courses from time to time (like, 1-2x per year for a week at a time), avoid certain foods, take probiotics, etc.–basically a holistic approach to keeping my microbiome in check. So I would ask if your doctors have a sense of the underlying cause which I think can vary from person to person.

          My doctors have emphasized the importance of keeping on top of this despite the low probability for permanent “cure” since in my case, the SIBO is not only causing IBS symptoms which are unpleasant enough on their own, but more seriously, I am having trouble absorbing vitamins because of it which of course can lead to a lot of health issues (especially as I am about to TTC). For me personally, I don’t mind taking all the recommended steps since I see such a difference in my health and well-being as a result.

          If you are only having discomfort and bloating, I think it’s your call as to how much work you are willing to put in to prevent it and what the trade-offs are. But I do think it’s worth asking your doctor whether you are at risk for anything more serious or long-term. At minimum, get your vitamin levels checked as my understanding is that SIBO causes absorption issues in a lot of people. Also consider that a lot of seemingly random or inexplicable symptoms you might be experiencing could be caused by absorption and vitamin issues (e.g., my random rashes and constantly feeling cold went away when I got my vitamin levels up to normal–I never thought that would have been the cause–and more importantly I have tons more energy).

  20. Sharing a Success! :

    A small (but feels huge) victory for me today! I normally go to bed fairly early (I don’t function well on little sleep), but last night I spent two and a half hours (maybe more) releasing and updating my time. I have had some great months were I keep up with my time–we are encouraged to release time every week and a half–but generally, unlike the rest of my Type A personality, I avoid it–even failing to update time narratives, which is always a disaster–and end up spending the last day or the first day of the month releasing and updating my timers.

    I finally said “enough” after getting very very little sleep last night (while nursing an epic cold). I came in today and deleted old timers, added new ones for all the new matters I was recently staffed on (I had a bad habit of using “blank” timers and then just putting Matter X on the narrative, which again, total disaster to decipher at the end of the month), and I am super committed to nipping this in the bud. While I’ve told myself I would “fix” these behaviors every time this happens, I actually took actions today to make it happen. My assistant is also emailing me the day before the midweek release suggestion date to remind me that I need to release and update my time.

    This is only my second year practicing, but I know it will only get worse as I become staffed on more matters and have a ton happening on a daily basis. I’m sure there’s some kind of psychological reason for my avoidance once I hit halfway through the month and it seems hopeless to release and update time (though obviously, I know I will have to do it eventually), but other than sheer laziness, I had no good excuse.

    Anyway, I’m super excited and feel like I conquered a big thing (for me). So yay!

    • Cornellian :

      This is amazing and I am jealous.

      Timekeeping is the bane of my job. I would take a 20% pay cut to avoid it.

  21. Anonymous :

    Has anyone thought about becoming a judge? Why or why not? I’m at the end of my first year in private practice, and am considering a goal of becoming a judge in my county (Cook County) eventually.

    • Anonymous :

      Why do you want to be a judge?

    • I have recently applied to be a judge but I’ve been a litigator for quite a while. A year of private practice doesn’t seem to be enough to know exactly what a judge does.

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