Coffee Break: Long Cotton Coat

Spring Coat: Brooks Brothers Long Cotton CoatI’ll admit, this coat seems like it might be a bit better for fall rather than spring — but I think you can even wear it now if you want to. Try it with a chambray or other light blue bottom (seriously, if you haven’t tried dark red and light blue together for a work outfit, try it — it’s a powerful pairing!), and I also think this would be great with my spring/summer favorite, light gray pants. The coat is $750 at Brooks Brothers. Brooks Brothers Long Cotton Coat

Here are several lower-priced options in spring-y colors: coral, light pinklight blue, and green (includes petite, tall, and plus).

(L-all)

Comments

  1. I’m 35 and divorced and so is the guy I’ve been seeing for 6 months. I was stunned last night to hear him talk about his divorce in the present tense – his wife left him 20 months ago and the divorce has been final for 6 months. It turns out that he’s really struggling with some things related to it (he didn’t say and I didn’t pry).

    I’m not concerned about our relationship – we’re kind of casual – but I’m concerned about him as a friend, as a person. I had no idea that after all this time he was really struggling. I want him to get through this to be happy and healthy and whole for his own sake, not for whatever relationship we might have.

    I’m not sure what I should do now that I know he’s struggling. He’s not the type to talk about his feelings (obviously, since this is the first I’m hearing about it!), so asking him what he wants from me isn’t going to get me too far.

    Do I tell him I want a break so that he has time to heal without me as a distraction? Or will that remind him of his wife leaving? Should I suggest he seek therapy? I worry that will come across as meddling or patronizing. Should I act like nothing’s different and just keep being me and let him privately work through it on his own? I think the privately working through it isn’t going so well.

    Right now, I just really want to support him as a friend, and I have no idea how to best do that.

    • YAY Kat and Kate! Another great Pick! This is the season for a cotton overcoat and I love the color’s at BROOK’s Brother’s. I think I will walk over there on my way home and see if they are in stock, since it is onley 2 block’s out of the way for me.

      As for the OP, yes, you are doeing the right thing with him, keepeing it causal. You must be careful, at your age, not to waste to much time with him if you want to get MARRIED and have kid’s, b/c he sound’s like a mess that can NOT be fixed to quickley. Men like this tend to be schlubby for years, and do NOT outgrow the fact they have been in a failed releationship. I know that with my Shektovits, he had been dateing other women, but gave them all up for me, but at the same time, he never got over them and what they could have been to him that I could not, etc., etc. I realy did NOT like babying that schmoe, but since I had no other boyfreind, I wasted alot of time b/f I finally threw him out. Good ridence.

      Grandma Leyeh is a pretty good trooper. Dad is here with her, giveing her some corn beef b/c it is Saint Patties’ Day. He got it from Pastrami Queen, but he will NOT give me any, tho b/c he says my tuchus is to big. FOOEY on him. He know’s I love corn beef and Pastrami Queen. Beside’s, his tuchus is much bigger and HE is eating corn beef. DOUBEL FOOEY on Dad. FOOEY!

    • Anonymous :

      Do nothing. You aren’t his friend, you are his girlfriend. It is not your place, appropriate, or helpful for you to support him in this.

      All this time? Therapy? It’s been 6 months!

      Your job is to decide if you’re happy with the relationship. If yes, keep dating. If no, stop. And don’t suggest a break. That’s just silly.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve never been divorced, but still being raw from your divorce six months after it is final doesn’t seem abnormal. Maybe I’m misinterpreting, but it doesn’t sound like he said he can’t get out of bed in the morning or wants to hurt himself. It sounds like he just said he is sad about the divorce and still working through some of his feelings about it. That sounds completely normal to me, and I think he probably didn’t unload his feelings about this on you before because you’re his girlfriend and he didn’t want to be disrespectful. It seems like you’re way overreacting to the situation. If you want someone who is more “over” his divorce, then you cut ties and move on. I agree you don’t “take a break” (how very Ross and Rachel) or try to be a friend to him.

      • Anonymous :

        +1 Totally normal.

        While men often jump into new relationships much faster than women after a divorce/death, it doesn’t mean that they necessarily have less emotional baggage. It’s just the way they deal.

        Honestly, I always stay away from men freshly divorced. And starting to date a man whose divorce as only just been finalized is fresh, to me. It sounds like you started dating him close to the day he got divorced. But all of us are different with what we can manage and what we are looking for.

        So he sounds pretty normal to me. Divorce is very painful for most people. And if his wife left him, who knows what self doubt / issues he is going through.

        I might actually offer to him…. do you think it might help to have someone to talk to?

    • A divorce is traumatic. Six months is nothing.

  2. Anonymous :

    I’m working through something with my boyfriend and I’m trying to understand where he’s coming from. (Sorry in advance for the novella.)

    Last night we were on the phone. I was packing to go out of town and I was only listening to him with half an ear. He had been talking about his greatest hobby – movies – for probably 20 mins. I don’t care much about movies, but I understand they’re a big deal to him, so I watch them with him and try to engage with him about them.

    He asked if I remembered XYZ movie, I said no, not off the top of my head, he asked why not, and literally with my head in my drawer looking for panties (so I was distracted), I said because my head is full of work stuff. Cue 90 minute argument about how my “disinterest” seems “pompous” (because I’m in law and movies aren’t on the same significance level as cases). We had a 2 hour discussion about this nearly 4 months ago – similar thing, me saying that I didn’t remember the plot because I guess I had other things on my mind/I just don’t commit them to memory. He said both times that I was showing him that I didn’t care about him.

    Ok, I totally understand how my remark can seem flippant, but OMG, I’m really frustrated here. It’s two remarks over four months about movies. Never mind all the time I watch movies with him, listen to him talk about movies, get excited about upcoming premieres with him. I sent him a Captain America text the other day! Like, look, this isn’t my hobby. I’m genuinely trying to demonstrate interest here, but cut me some slack. I actually DON’T care about movies – I care about YOU. I feel like we’re a really good couple in other ways and I try to be very caring in lots of ways – I cook his favorite foods, encourage him about work, iron his shirts, and we have lots of great s3x. What more do you want?!

    He has this notion that you have to get DEEPLY interested in another person’s interests – even people you meet at a cocktail party (that was a whole other argument once) – or you’re being rude. I haven’t asked him to get into my hobby of biographies of Catholic saints…because I wouldn’t ask anybody to do that lol. But he says he would dive deep into it as a show of caring if I asked him to.

    Can someone interpret for me and tell me what’s really going on? I’m feeling dense and confused.

    • Anonymous :

      Wtf? He needs to grow up. And obsessing over the next Marvel movie doesn’t count as a “hobby” imo.

    • “I actually DON’T care about movies – I care about YOU. ”

      Can those actually be separated? The fact that the hobby is “movies” aside, if someone is so passionately involved with a hobby, can you reasonably expect the person to distance themselves from said hobby for a relationship? I don’t think so.

      • But reasonable adults can be fully supportive of each other’s interests without participating in those interests.

        I enjoy what my husband refers to as “boring British shows” (Downton Abbey, Call the Midwife, Mr Selfridge, etc). He totally doesnt get it. He is 100% in favor of me watching them whenever I want to, and he’s happy to do something else while i enjoy my show. He volunteers to watch one with me about 1x a year as a good sport. Do i expect him to enjoy them or want me to dissect the episodes with him? Heck no – that is unrealistic. He doesnt have to share my interests – he just cant be dismissive of them.

      • +1. “I don’t care about movies, but I know you do and care that you like them. I am happy to listen to you talk about movies, but I don’t have the same capacity to recall details about movie. I will probably never like them as much as you do, but I think that’s okay and would hope you do too. I have a go-to movie expert if I need one and that is you.”

        With this level of geek/nerding on a subject, I’d also check out Captain Awkward – I feel like that sight delves into some of the issues that can become especially evident when someone is this fanatical about a subject.

      • Definitely. My husband’s big hobby competitive bass fishing. My big hobbies are yoga and skydiving. Neither one of us likes to do or is interested in the other ones. We listen to each other, cheerlead for each other and will go on trips together where one hobby is the focus…but we don’t pretend that its our thing too.

    • My fiance also loves movies and pop culture stuff, and talks to me about it a lot. Sometimes I am engaged in the conversation, and sometimes I don’t really care. The difference is that he knows that and isn’t offended when I can’t follow what he’s talking about. It really helps that there are other interests we very much share and enjoy together. So sometimes I half-listen to him discuss Nintendo and sometimes he half-listens to me discuss my workplace drama, but we both totally get into politics/law nerdery, so it’s fine. You definitely don’t have to 100% share interests and hobbies to have a good relationship. You just need to show respect for each other and each other’s interests.

      • Men can be such schlubs. If they weren’t good for at least 2 thing’s, I would banish them entireley!

      • Anonymous :

        Haha, yes, us too. My husband will say things like, can I tell you about the game? I give precisely zero sh!+s about the game and he knows that, he just needs someone to say things out loud to. He expects me to be only barely listening, though I do try (albeit less than OP!) to ask some follow-up questions so he’s not speaking completely into a void. He does the same for me, especially for work drama he couldn’t care less about (and sometimes will surprise me by remembering a detail about one of the cast of characters whom he has never met, “Sandra, the one who broke the copy machine?” And I’m like, YES! SAME SANDRA!)

        • Yes! My husband is super into this cities building game and I heartily endorse this habit (noises are less annoying than war games). I ask him to show me his city and listen when he tells me about the new metro line but he doesn’t expect me to build cities with him.

      • TO Lawyer :

        +1 – do you think it’s maybe an issue of your tone? I’m not necessarily blaming you but FWIW: my boyfriend and I don’t share hobbies. I like fashion and shopping, he plays video games. Sometimes he’ll tell me about the plot of a video game (I don’t care at all, before him, I didn’t even know video games had plots). Sometimes I’ll tell him about something I read in a fashion magazine that I found interesting. I have to force myself really hard sometimes to concentrate on the video game talk and ask questions and stay engaged because I know he’s interested in this and I think being a good listener is a big part of being in a relationship.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        Totally agree. My husband is a huge history nut and has an unfulfilled dream of being a college history professor so he likes to lecture on these topics. I don’t learn as well through listening so I often forget the specifics about what he has tried to teach me. But he is good natured about it and never gets upset by it.

        Likewise, he’ll listen to me talk about what I’m reading but I know he’s not actually interested in the subject matter. I like that he shows an interest in what I’m into but could never expect him to be as into it as I am.

        OP it sounds like your boyfriend had a major overreaction to something that is totally normal.

      • Yep. My husband’s hobby is rum. I listen to him when he talks about all the variation, flavors, etc but I don’t recall all the details and he doesn’t expect me to. He has friends in a bartender’s guild where he can really geek out on that stuff. I support his hobby by taste testing any cocktails that he makes.

    • Anonymous :

      He’s insecure about how his interests stack up to yours.

      Your non-interest in movies is obviously because you are so high-brow that you’re the snob and just don’t understand all the backstory/subtext/significance of the movie and it’s relationship to current events. /sarcasam.

      Do you have a hobby that you do share? Something you can geek out about together?

      • Anonymous :

        +1

        Does your boyfriend have job that he might feel insecure about in comparison to yours? It sucks and it’s unfair and he needs to get over it, but it might explain his behaviour.

      • Anonymous :

        +1 It’s not movies vs Catholic saints (hobby v hobby). It’s movies vs career (hobby v IMPORTANT). You said you can’t recall the movie plots because your head was full of work stuff. I wonder if his response would have been different if you’d said “I’m sorry, I can’t always recall because plots don’t resonate with me the way they do with you” instead of “I’m sorry, I can’t always recall because LAWYER.” I also agree with TO Lawyer that your tone might be conveying something you don’t mean, like “I can’t be bothered with trivialities like movies because I’m a lawyer la la la.” I’m not saying you’re thinking that, but it could be what he’s hearing.

    • Anonymous :

      I totally agree. I run and do long distance cycling and my husband collects baseball cards and 80s comics. Never the two shall meet. If I had to be in to comic books to stay with him? Well, no.

      It sounds to like the OP’s situation may be a tone issue, not necessarily the idea that she needs to become the next Siskel & Ebert to stay with this guy. Did he think you were belittling him or his hobby with your tone? Also, I know it’s hard when you are LD/don’t live together and busy, but maybe trying to focus more on him when you’re on the phone would alleviate this? It’s easier when you’re live in person I think and it’s clear to the other individual that you’re not giving the situation your full attention (not necessarily less rude, but at least obvious).

    • Anonymous :

      A 2 hour fight because you don’t care about movies? And you want to be with this person?

      This is why dating is a thing. So you can find out he is unreasonable about his hobbies while you can just walk away instead of trying to “work through”.

    • Meg Murry :

      It sounds to me like it is important to your boyfriend that you share this hobby (movies) at least a little, while you don’t think it’s so important.

      I think you need to say something to him like “Look, I get that you love movies – love watching them, love talking about them, love everything about them. I’m never going to be that into them. I’ll occasionally watch them with you, and I’ll smile and nod while you talk about them – but I’m never going to become a passionate movie person. Are you ok with this relationship, understanding that I’m not going to be that person?”

      It sounds to me like you are ok with the two of you not sharing a passion – but he seems to believe that everyone should (or should at least fake an interest, which you didn’t seem to be doing). So I think the two of you need to have an honest talk about what that means for your future.

      It also sounds like it’s important to him that you at least fake enthusiasm. So if you aren’t in a mental place to do that (trying to multi-task packing while talking to him), you probably should instead give him 10 focused minutes of a phone call and then tell him you have to go – not 20 minutes of you listening to him ramble while you “mmm-hmmm” and otherwise ignore him.

      • Anonymous :

        I think the point is that OP is doing more than that though. More than occasionally watching movies, more than smiling and nodding. It sounds to me like OP is really trying and her boyfriend is just being childish.

    • Jitterbug :

      Nerd here! I love me some comics and video games, although I’m way behind on the Marvel movies. I know that my interests are niche, especially for my age group (mid 20’s) and I don’t expect everyone I talk to – much less date – to share that interest. It’s great when they do, but if it doesn’t interest them, it’s not a deal-breaker. Now, if they tell me I’m childish for liking them, that’s another issue, and it’s possible he suspects you’re judging him for his interest in nerdy stuff and getting defensive. Make it clear that you respect his interest in movies, you just don’t share it. And if he can’t tell the difference, it’s probably not a good match.

    • Why is he testing your love for him by whether you remember a freaking movie plot? This is so bananas. It’s one thing to expect your SO to be politely interested in your hobbies. It’s another thing altogether to expect your SO to be as obsessive as you are about something they don’t care about. You are not required to have the same interests or to adopt your SO’s interests. Frankly, he sounds like a nutjob control freak. Does he exhibit other controlling behaviors?

      • Anonymous :

        +1

        Does he have other strange, overly nerdy tendencies? Does the movie obsession hamper his daily life?

      • +1

        I agree that his quizzing you on the movie plot and then asking you why you didn’t remember is a bit crazypants in the first place. Not to mention the ensuring hours-long fight.

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      You’re not missing anything, except maybe that you’re actually fundamentally incompatible with your boyfriend. He, it sounds like, has made it very clear that it’s very important to him that the person he is with become deeply interested in the things he is interested in. We can debate about whether that’s “normal” or “weird” or “unreasonable” or whatever, but it’s his prerogative to have that as a relationship requirement, no matter what anyone else thinks about that particular requirement.

      You, on the other hand, don’t agree that deep interest in his interests is a necessary component of the relationship, and you’re not going to change your interests/movie-plot-retention habits for this guy. So, this works long-term, how, exactly? You absolutely will not deliver something he is asking you for. He will absolutely never agree that he should stop asking for it, and he will be upset when you don’t deliver it. It doesn’t actually matter whether this is reasonable or unreasonable on either/both of your parts – it’s just reality. He has a need. You have no interest in meeting it. That’s not a foundation for a relationship.

      • Anonymous :

        I agree, but not that she has no interest in meeting it. It’s more like she’s not wired that way.

        He’s a bit like insisting not that someone go to church with you (reasonable request), but that a person go to church and have a sincere conversion to its faith or love it in the same exact way (unreasonable expectation, esp if the person shares that they are happy go but just aren’t feeling it that way).

        • Killer Kitten Heels :

          I guess I just don’t see the point in even getting into whether it’s reasonable or unreasonable. Also, it’s kind of ridiculous to say she’s not “wired” to be able to remember details of stuff – she’s a lawyer! Of course she’s capable of remembering complex fact patterns (which is all a movie is, really). She’s not retaining the movie plots because, at a fundamental level, she doesn’t much care about the movies. My guess is these fights are happening because boyfriend can sense her fundamental disinterest, and he wants it to change.

          So basically, I think they’re both being pointlessly stubborn – b/f because he thinks he can badger OP into actually caring about something she just doesn’t care about, and OP for thinking she can somehow convince b/f that his desire to have an SO who is as deeply interested in movies as he is, is somehow unreasonable and he should just stop wanting it. Neither one of them is a bad person here, they’re just not right for each other.

          • Senior Attorney :

            Yes. I couldn’t agree with this more.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2ff8qXa248&list=RDb2ff8qXa248#t=0

    • I think it’s likely that this is more about the response you gave than anything else. “I don’t remember the details because WORK” could come across, especially with the right tone, as “I don’t remember the insignificant and stupid details about this thing that you love, because my brain is actually devoted to important things, unlike you, you child.” Particularly if you have had any disagreements regarding work in the past or if he has some insecurities about whether you perceive him to be your equal career-wise. I’m not saying he is in the right, but I think this is what most likely explains the fact that you ended up in a 2 hour conversation–it’s not about his hobby, but rather that he has set up your interest in his hobby as a litmus test for something else. Without knowing your relationship, it’s hard to say whether this is something you would want to try to work past or if it’s a sign to move on.

      • Anonymous :

        Yes, I’ve definitely gotten upset with my husband when I’m talking to him about some inane thing, and he says “I just don’t care!” That’s mean! I told him I don’t care if he cares or not, but he has to at least be respectful that it’s something I want to talk about, and nod and grunt appropriately.

    • It sounds like he’s feeling like he’s not being heard in your relationship … you were only half listening/distracted … it probably isn’t the first time you’ve come across like that. (No judgment here … just observation) and this movie/detail thing is just a sticking point in a larger issue.

    • I agree with the comments above that there may just be a fundamental incompatibility here. All the things you do (and it sounds like a lot) are never going to be enough if he wants someone who is also passionate about his hobbies. That’s not important to everyone, as the comments above show, but it sounds like he’s telling you it’s a deal-breaker for him. I’d talk to him ASAP about that and assess whether you both really want to move forward if you’re not super passionate about movies.

      Also, two-hour fight? That sounds to me that you two have trouble communicating and resolving disagreements. And apparently, after two hours of talking about it with him, it’s not resolved, because you’re writing that you’re frustrated on an anonymous internet board. So, in addition to the movie stuff, you need to look at whether there are any patterns in your fights that you need to work on or walk away from.

  3. Bluestocking :

    I love the color of this coat!

    • daydreamer :

      I would love to see it open and paired with a floral dress with shades of pink/reds, perfect for spring and fall!

    • ME TOO!!! It reminds me of a gown that Laverne Cox wore recently and I felt she could literally not have worn a more flattering color. It’s unique and gorgeous without being flashy.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Yes! So fresh! I want to see it with baby blue!

    • Baconpancakes :

      I had a dusty brick red coat a while ago – not as maroon as this, but dang I wore that coat all over the place. Looks great with a vibrant cobalt as well.

    • Anonymous :

      I love the color, but does this look like a bathrobe to anyone else?

    • I like this coat too but it doesn’t look like a spring coat. In fact, the whole Brooks Brothers Zac Posen thing is not resonating with me! Dark colors, more expensive, and none of my favorite go tos…Blazers, tailored pants and shirts. I hope next season is better.

  4. raquiescence :

    Help! I bought two pairs of seemingly perfect patent leather pumps — one in black, and one in nude. They look great with everything and are surprisingly comfortable even after a day in court… but they SQUEAK like nobody’s business. You can hear me coming from a mile away. Will this go away? Anything I can do to alleviate the squeaking quickly? I love these pumps and would hate to have to relegate them to non-work use only.

    • Baconpancakes :

      I would also like to know this, and have no suggestions, but squeaking shoes always reminds me of Almanzo Wilder in the Little House series, who asked the cobbler to make his shoes extra squeaky!

    • Anonymous :

      You can buy non-slip sticky pads to put on the bottom of your shoes for better grip, maybe that would help with squeaking?

    • It’s annoying, but rub hand cream in the shoes or on your feet. It’s not a long term solution, but helps out quickly.

    • Anonymous :

      I had a squeaky pair and it never went away.

    • I’ve had temporary success with baby powder – sprinkle a bit more than seems reasonable along the inside edges.

  5. Easter Brunch :

    I’m hosting an Easter brunch for 6 people at our home in a few weeks. I have never hosted a holiday event before, so this feels a little momentous to me (my husband and I finally have enough house and dining/entertaining items to do this!).

    Any suggestions for easy or make-ahead brunch recipes? I’d like to serve a mix of both breakfast and lunch options. I’m not opposed to buying or catering a few things, but I would like to make the majority of the food so it feels special.

    • daydreamer :

      EGGS! Try deviled eggs or an easy frittata. I make a ham and cheese one, pair with asparagus, and it makes for a great brunch dish.

    • I love doing brunches, but expectations for brunch can vary wildly around the country ;) Mine’s pretty southern. My go-to make-ahead menu is the following:

      Sliced ham (I like Kentucky Legend)
      Biscuits/rolls
      A honey mustard sauce for those

      Hash brown casserole

      Egg and sausage casserole

      Fruit tray

      A sweet quick bread (pumpkin, date, etc)

      If I want to make it lunchier, I add a green salad or veggie tray and chicken salad.

      All of these are made the night before and just heated/put out the morning of.

    • Agh, it ate my reply!

      I love doing brunch! I’ve discovered what passes for brunch can vary widely across the country. Here’s my (southern) make-ahead menu that’s always a big hit.

      Sliced ham (I like Kentucky Legend)
      Biscuits/rolls
      Honey mustard for those

      Hash brown casserole

      Egg and sausage casserole

      A sweet bread (pumpkin, date) or doughnut holes

      Fruit tray

      I add a green salad/veggie tray and chicken salad if I want to make it lunchier.

      Everything’s made ahead and just heated/put out in the morning. No stress!

    • Anonymous :

      quiche, baked French toast, fruit salad, bacon, hot cross buns, green salad with strawberries, and a lemon tart.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I am obsessed with homemade English muffins these days. It took a few tries to get the perfectly round and symmetrical, and they take hours of elapsed time because they need to rise, but OMG they are fab and very impressive. I use the recipe here and the video is very helpful: http://www.laurainthekitchen.com/recipes/english-muffins/

      Hint: to get them the right shape and approximately equal size, I shape the dough into a log and then just hack of approximately equal-sized pieces for each muffin, which I then roll between my palms to make a ball and then roll between one palm and the counter to make a rounder ball. Then squish per the recipe/video.

      • This is amazing! We don’t have these in Scotland and I miss them.

        • You don’t have English muffins in Scotland?! I might have to reconsider my plans to move north…

          • I know, it’s weird! But then I asked my English husband about them and he wasn’t sure what I was talking about either.

            But you should move north, it’s lovely here! Full disclosure, I have adapted to the local ways and grumble every time I have to go south of Newcastle (my money doesn’t work here, people are less friendly)

    • http://smittenkitchen.com/blog/2009/12/how-to-host-brunch-and-still-sleep-in/

    • I love hosting brunch! Overnight french toast is one of my favs. I’m partial to the pioneer woman’s recipe and sometimes make it with croissants for extra decadence. Prep the night before and then just throw it in the oven the next morning.

      If there’s a Whole Foods near you, get your bacon from their breakfast buffet. You can do this the same day or the day before and then just reheat that morning. Last time I hosted bought a full container of good quality bacon for about $12, which is might be cheaper than purchasing it raw and eliminates the hassle of cooking it myself.

      Add some eggs (quiche or fritatta), a green salad or fruit salad (depending on where your crowd falls on the breakfast/lunch spectrum), and maybe some type of muffin or breakfast pastry and you’re good to go!

    • lawsuited :

      STRATA! I made this for brunch three times over the holiday season and all three times people could not stop raving about it. It is insanely easy and insanely good.

    • Breakfast burritos!

      Insides can include haloumi, smashed white beans and chives, garlic spinach as well as more traditional burrito filling. I prep everything the night before and keep a couple of cheap frying pans on hand so I don’t have to worry about washing up between the 2-3 cooked items….everything else I serve cold.

  6. I always have difficulty transitioning to spring. My coloring does best with jewel tones, which always seem a bit dark in the spring. I also wear black and white a lot. Too many neutrals or pastels are not flattering. Fair skin with a touch of ruddy, medium brown hair.

    If you have coloring like me, what are your favorite color combos in spring?

    • I have similar coloring and I find that emerald/shades of lighter green that are flattering can work. I wear kelly green as well. I also wear quite a bit of white and like to wear a patterned scarf with a white top in the spring and summer. I think a navy and white pattern is still spring-like while working with my coloring.

    • Baconpancakes :

      Do you like yellow? A pop of sunshine yellow makes black and white look cheerful, and paired with navy or emerald, it makes the dark colors look spring-appropriate.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer :

      Bright pinks with a tough of purple (like magentas/fuschias) always work very well for me, and I have the same colouring. I like those colours year-round and they work well for spring. Or navy and white, as the above poster said.

    • Anonymous :

      I look best in jewel tones as well… and the truth is that I care more about that than about looking spring-y. That said, white with royal blue is one of my favourite combos for spring-summer, usually keep the blue close to my face and pair it with white bottoms or white suit.

    • I look best in jewel tones as well… and the truth is that I care more about that than about looking spring-y. That said, white with royal blue is one of my favourite combos for spring-summer, usually keep the blue close to my face and pair it with white bottoms or white suit.

    • Anonymous :

      Saturated colors work best for me – right now, I’ve got on a real rich seafoam green top, and I have a number of teal or green options that have a lot of color, but not necessarily a /dark/ color, if that makes sense?

      As far as specific colors, I (slightly different coloring – pink tones rather than ruddy, dark blonde hair) like bright sky blues, any kind of green or teal, sunflower yellow – flower colors, basically.

    • I have somewhat similar coloring, but darker hair and not ruddy skin (my coloring is almost exactly the same as Anne Hathaway’s). I find light, clear versions of pastels work on me. It’s very old-school, but in the 80s my mom had one of those Color Me Beautiful books that has the full palate for each “seasons.” I think you can still find the palates online. If you find the right one, it will include darker shades (that work for colder months) but also lighter summery shades that are the right tone for your coloring. Search for something like “winter palate” (assuming you’re a winter).

    • I have similar coloring but darker hair. I really have a limited color palette year round: black, grey, and navy are my neutrals, and I add red, violet, magenta, cobalt, and teal, along with white (mostly in patterns). I change up the fabrics for different seasons, and wear more cool light grey in the spring and summer, but the colors never change. I can appreciate pastels and warm brights on other people, but they’re not me.

    • lawsuited :

      I switch to a taupe bag, wear more navy, white, emerald green, hot pink and bright coral , bust out my collection suede shoes, and put a couple of very spring-y accessories (a floral scarf, a floral statement necklace).

    • Anonymous :

      I have your identical coloring!

      I change up the fabrics I wear in spring but not the colors. I wear saturated jewel tons year round. Lots of navy, black and white dresses, eggplant/plum, indigo cobalt, dark teal, and pine green.

    • +2 for navy and white. I also love a lighter heather grey suit for spring/summer — I wear it with a white top and cognac leather accessories — doesn’t feel dark/wintry.

  7. Need some shopping help for my mom! She bought these two dresses to wear on my wedding weekend (the red at our very small church ceremony the night before, and the purple at the secular ceremony/reception). She’d like to just purchase 1 pair of shoes to go with both. Any ideas? (Nothing over $100 please…)

    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/553098397967130299/
    https://www.pinterest.com/pin/553098397967130478/

    • Senior Attorney :

      Links aren’t working! :(

      • Clementine :

        Without having any idea of what these dresses look like, my suggestion is a pair of nude-for-her wedges or heels.

        Cap Hill Style has a good bunch of suggestions in a variety of tones. I’ll post a couple suggestions below.

        • Clementine :

          These are my super comfy nude pumps… I actually prefer them to my MK Flex pumps… http://www1.macys.com/shop/product/inc-international-concepts-womens-zitah-pointed-toe-mid-heel-pumps?ID=918725&CategoryID=26481&swatchColor=Rose%20Gold%20Gold#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D566%26ruleId%3D78|BS%26slotId%3D2

          https://factory.jcrew.com/womens-clothing/shoes/pumpsandheels/PRDOVR~C5111/C5111.jsp?color_name=saddle

          https://factory.jcrew.com/womens-clothing/shoes/pumpsandheels/PRDOVR~95993/95993.jsp?color_name=bronzed-clay

    • Trying again:

      http://www.zappos.com/adrianna-papell-l-s-lace-dress-mulberry?ef_id=VtXuyQAAAdkUTFJo:20160317185851:s

      http://www.bostonstore.com/sc1/women/womens-dresses/julian-taylor-floral-patterned-midi-dress-1022025.html#.VqqnTnX7Jy8.pinterest

      • I’d go with any nude shoe that interests her and feels comfortable to her (heel height, strappy vs covered, etc). I don’t think she can really wrong with a nude.

      • 4th coffee :

        I think a black pump would be nice too. It would pick up the black in the pattern on the brighter dress and also play well with the burgundy. I think you really have to go with a neutral here because the burgundy dress is warm while the patterned dress reads cool (bluer).

  8. San Jose Meet-up:

    Saturday, March 26, 2016 1pm. Original Gravity at 66 S 1st St, San Jose, CA 95113.

    I hope to see you there!

    Let me know if you plan to be there so I can claim table space.

  9. My manager told my coworkers I was in the hospital this week. I wasn’t planning on telling anyone and I don’t want to discuss what I was there.

    What’s my best reaction when the “helpful” coworkers inquire?

    • Anonymous :

      Assuming it’s essentially true, “Thanks for your concern, but I’m doing fine now.” And leave it at that.

    • Meg Murry :

      “Thanks for your concern. I’m doing better now and really just want to focus on catching up. Thanks for handling XYZ for me while I was out (if relevant).”

      If applicable, the phrase “nothing life threatening, but something my doctor wanted to get taken care of before it became a bigger problem” is a good way to diffuse rumors and gently let people know “not dying, not cancer, but not something I want to talk about”.

      And then turn the conversation back to the XYZ account or whatever.

  10. I’m tired of reading so many ignorant comments from bigots who try to claim they’re not racist or misogynistic. Guess what? You are. Stop trying to hide it. And please spare us all your posts – nobody has time for it!

  11. Perfect! Thanks

  12. I work in litigation. My cousin is a police officer. One of our clients is the defendant in a case that my cousin helped to investigate criminally. The partners I report to are aware and have purposely not assigned me any work related to that case. My cousin and I don’t have the same last name so none of my co-workers know that I’m related to her. I keep hearing them complain about how her notes are so good that there aren’t any holes they can poke in her part of the investigation. I have been an attorney for three years and this is the first time my firm has represented a someone that she investigated. It feels weird to hear people talking about her while I’m at work.

    • Anonymous :

      You should be ethically screened from this. Disclose the relationship and tell them not to discuss it where you can hear.

  13. friend or foe :

    So I have two different groups of friends. I had a party with friend group A and friend group B found out and are all upset. They’re “joking” about it a lot. I have had friend group B over before, but the groups don’t usually mesh. Do I do anything or just wait for it to blow over?

  14. Design Help :

    Picture this: ~12′ wall in a somewhat dark basement that will be converted into a “wet bar” containing a below-counter fridge, slide-in stove, and sink. Flooring, back splash, cabinets, counter tops.. haaaaalp! I’m thinking no upper cabinets (drying to downplay “kitchen” feel) and stainless appliances.

    Where do you start? Cabinets? Countertops? Flooring? I’m overwhelmed with options!

    • Anonymous :

      I think this wet bar is great for a basement: http://www.ikeahackers.net/2014/06/effektiv-cocktails.html

    • Anonymous :

      Typically, a wet bar is only a sink and a small fridge. If you have a stove, that’s a whole kitchen. Why do you need flooring?

      • Anonymous :

        Typically if the basement is carpeted, the wet bar area is tiled or hardwood to make clean-up easier. I agree though, definitely no stove!

      • We are doing a “slide in” versus “free standing” style stove. It took a while, but the idea of including one has grown on me for a couple of reasons having to do with the house and it’s overall features (leaving them out for anonymity reasons because they are quite unique). So, the stove is happening but its style we’re going after will help reduce the typical kitchen feel. Also, removing upper cabinets should help this. Materials/colors are where I’m just overcome by the sheer number of choices.

        Also, entire basement is being redone, so that’s why flooring is going to be unique to this area.

    • Anonymous :

      If you really have no idea where you want to start, I highly recommend a design-build contractor that helps you design the area as well as build it. We used one for our kitchen remodel and it turned out better than my wildest dreams. Backsplash is definitely the last thing you do, and you pick something that matches the rest of the kitchen. We kept our original flooring, so I can’t say for sure, but I think I’d pick cabinets and countertop colors first, then flooring, then backsplash. You must have some idea of what color schemes you like – dark cabinets and creamy granite? white cabinets and carerra marble countertops? If you really have no idea, start browsing Pinterest and Houzz and seeing what strikes your fancy.

    • Anonymous :

      Speaking of wet bars, thoughts on whether they’re worth it or not? We’re finishing our basement soon and I’m not sure whether to put one in. Neither my husband nor I feels a strong desire for one, although the basement will be primarily a TV/rec room and I suppose it would be nice to be able to grab a cold drink without going upstairs. I’ve heard they increase resale value but we hope and plan to stay in our house for the rest of our lives, so it’s not a primary concern.

      • Anonymous :

        I keep hearing that basement wet bars are a waste of money and a thing of the past.

      • lawsuited :

        My sister and her husband put a bar in the basement, but it just has a bar fridge, a wine fridge, and a keg fridge, no sink, so it’d be really easy to remove it if they outgrow it or sell their place to someone who doesn’t want built in counter tops and a sink in their basement.

    • Come up with a theme: Irish Pub? French Country? Asian Bistro? Surf Bar? Moroccan Coffee House? Modern? Contemporary? Traditional? Some combination of the above?

      • What about a dishwasher? I always wonder why people don’t put a dishwasher in a downstairs wet bar.

        • Yes, a dishwasher would be a wonderful idea! They make smaller units, if space is an issue.

  15. Advice needed. I have an intern doing the first cut on a brief. He’s extremely bright and has a genuine interest in the issues (he wrote a note for his journal on one of the issues), but he’s awkward and interrupts. When I was giving him the assignment, he literally interrupted me every sentence. We have a call with co-counsel next week to talk about briefing strategy and I know it would be helpful to him to hear the discussion, but I cannot have him interrupting everyone every two seconds. A less awkward intern would know not to talk at all (for the most part — there are exceptions of course, but they’re very few) but I don’t trust this guy not to try to take over the whole thing. Would it be worth inviting him but telling him to keep quiet? Or should I just plan to fill him in after the fact? I’m leaning toward the latter, but it seems like it would be doing him a favor to help him understand how to behave in this type of situation.

    • Anonymous :

      Honestly, it sounds like he is somewhere on the autism spectrum.

      • If that’s true, it seems it would be helpful for him to hear what’s expected in a call like this, right? I just don’t know how to say it in a way that’s not patronizing.

      • Anonymous :

        Really?? He just sounds like a guy to me. Definitely invite him to the call and ask him not to speak. I was given similar instructions during the early years of my career, even though I err on the side of being too quiet and never in a million years would have spoken on an external call without explicitly being invited to.

    • Anonymous :

      “Please sit in on this call with me- just listen though. If you have questions you can ask me after we are done, but I need to be the only one from our office speaking on the call.”

      Not a weird ask.

      • Okay, now you write it out it seems fine. I guess sometimes these things seem bigger when you’re imagining them.

      • I would say exactly that, and even add “In fact, the best plan would be for you to keep your phone on mute .” if that’s how your phone system works. Both because he may not realize that this is the proper etiquette for listening in to a call, and because it will further drive home your intended message.

        • Killer Kitten Heels :

          I’d actually recommend taking the call on speaker with him in your office – that way you’re in control of the mute button and he literally can’t chime in without your leave.

      • I wish someone would tell me things like this. It’s easier than guessing what is expected. And no one is offended, as expectations are met.

    • I would invite him and say “I’ll introduce you but I’ll be doing the talking with the client; please listen and take notes.”

      • Anonymous :

        This is just me, but after giving this type of instruction, if he starts talking out of turn on the call, I would not hesitate to pick up the receiver and finish the call out of his earshot.

    • Killer Kitten Heels :

      I’d invite him with the instruction that he’s not to speak and see how he does. It’s easy to think “ohmigosh he should just know not to do that,” but it’s entirely possible – for any number of reasons – that he doesn’t realize exactly how awful interrupting is in a work setting. I grew up in a family where, as my husband describes it, “conversation is a contact sport,” and interruption is pretty much how we all communicate. I started working young enough that I had mostly figured out not to interrupt at work by the time I hit the professional-intern stage of my working life, but I don’t know that I would’ve known not to do it on my own, and it took me a pretty long time to unlearn my interrupter habit in social settings. You’d be doing him a favor by acknowledging the issue and giving him a chance to work on it, instead of just shutting him out of an opportunity.

      • Totally unrelated, but I love your husband’s description of conversation as a contact sport. My family is that way too, but I never had such a pithy phrase to describe it. Thanks!

  16. Meg Murry :

    Can I get a rrrraaaaawwwwr for remodel jobs that don’t include outlets? I am so happy to be in a real office with a door instead of a cube farm, but I seriously only have 2 electrical outlets, and they are both on the same side of the room within feet of each other. The building was remodeled before my company bought it, and the previous people made some really stupid decisions. I keep trying to re-arrange the space to make it more functional for me and not being able to without running an extension cord around the room or some other mess – and there is a random bump-out between the outlets and the wall with none, so it would be super ugly. Re-wiring my office is not exactly high on the company’s list of remodeling plans, so I’m just trying to figure out how to live with it. Blech.

    • Wildkitten :

      My (rent controlled) apartment is shit for outlets too. We install extension cords and cover them with these: http://www.amazon.com/Wiremold-CMK50-Cord-Mate-Kit/dp/B0015EDVVU

    • hoola hoopa :

      I’m sorry, that is annoying.

      It’s likely not only poor decision making; the placement and number of wall outlets is commonly part of building code. What you describe would not meet my local code.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      That sucks. A big selling point for our apartment was that they had renovated it and put in a ton of outlets. I always think that should be at the top of the list. Hotels are usually awful at this too.

    • I’ll add a RAWR. Before I sold the house, I had to add two outlets to the (remodeled) kitchen so that half of the kitchen would be usable prep space. Who designs a kitchen that doesn’t have outlets along an entire wall?

      OK, the new buyers may hate me for putting them at counter height but I sold the (non-permanent) island placed along the wall with the house.

  17. Buying a Fixer Upper :

    Has anyone bought a fixer upper and completely remodeled? Mind sharing what that experience was like?

    DH and I are house hunting and originally wanted a completely updated home. Once we started looking in our desired area (suburbs of a LCOL city), we realized that the kind of beautiful, grand home we envisioned would also come with a pretty high pricetag. We were originally comfortable with and approved for this high price range, but the more houses we saw, we started to feel like 1) we’d rather save more or spend elsewhere (not on housing), and 2) the houses available didn’t seem worth the price. There’s a house we recently found that is exactly the size and neighborhood we want but needs a complete remodel. Like at least 100-150K. The house would cost 1/3 of our initial budget. So even with the remodel, the numbers make sense. But we’re apprehensive about getting into a full remodel while also paying two mortgages (we own a home now that we would list) plus a remodel loan. We’d expect to sell our current house for about the price of this new house. FWIW, we would hire a general contractor and do everything before moving in.
    Other than the finances, what concerns should we have about getting into this? For those who’ve done something similar, was it worth it?

    • Anonymous :

      I wouldn’t take on two mortgages and a remodel loan. I would wait to do any remodeling until the first house is sold. If the house is unliveable as is, that means I wouldn’t buy it. If it’s liveable but not nice, then I would move in and deal with it for a little while and then do the remodel while living there.

      FWIW, I didn’t think I could be any more opposed to remodeling and was adamant that I would buy new construction. But then I fell in love with a slightly older house in a great location, and we remodeled the kitchen and mud room (everything but the floors), had the whole house painted, and did minor cosmetic changes elsewhere in the house (wainscoting in the dining room, changed out the fireplace, added doors to a room without them). We didn’t tear down any walls and we didn’t do anything electrical anywhere except the kitchen. Overall, remodeling wasn’t nearly as bad as I anticipated, and our kitchen looks every bit as beautiful as new construction, but better because I got to design everything and choose all the finishes myself. But I imagine doing more major stuff like tearing down walls might be a much more significant undertaking.

    • Anonymous :

      IDK

      My MO is to move into a cosmetic fixer in a great neighborhood with the best of intentions.

      Pre-move:
      redo floors (contractor)
      paint (contractor; used to be me)
      landscaping (front yard especially; IME this gets the most thank-yours fron neighbors)

      and then nothing else gets done barring structural issues (which I wind up being OK with; I guess it keeps me from feeling that I have a dated kitchen and need to redo in 10-15 years if it was already dated) and easy cosmetic things that I can do myself in an afternoon (switching out knobs or fixtures).

    • Have you done an extensive renovation before? Try running your likely worst-case scenario in terms of time and money. Now double the renovation cost and triple the time estimate (and adjust accordingly for the cost of carrying 2 houses during the longer period of time). Can you handle that scenario? I’m basically Cassandra, giving this advice over and over to my friends (based on personal and observed experience), watching their annoyance at my perceived pessimism, and then watching their worst nightmares come to life when they attempt the project. I’m just saying, consider whether your finances, your life situation, your relationship, and your personality can handle it – it’s really not for everyone.

      • renovation question :

        Why are people who perform renovations so unable to give accurate time estimates? I understand that unexpected things can come up, but a professional who does this kind of work on a regular basis should be better able than me to estimate the potential delays, and the total possible window of time a job can take. Why not say something like what I tell my clients (I’m not a contractor): “This type of work typically takes between x and y weeks/months. If applicable, here are the potential common issues that may extend the timeline and that we already know apply to you. The shortest that this type of job has ever taken is x (or x minus ___) and the longest has taken y + __. ”

        Why can’t/won’t contractors give truthful and informative (though less specific) information about jobs they take on? Why why why do they just say “3 weeks” when they (should) know that’s not going to happen?

        (I have done a lot of renovation, major and minor, and EVERYBODY has given me a fixed time for how long the work will take and only twice has that timeline been met. Every other time, the work has gone longer, sometimes significantly so. Never shorter. I’m really struggling to find some other explanation for this besides either dishonesty or incompetence.)

        This is probably more of a vent than an actual question, but I would be interested in why this phenomenon exists, if someone understands it better than I do.

        • A friend owns a construction company. He used to give time quotes, like “assuming everything is perfect, 3 weeks, if there is problems in the walls 4-5 weeks” what he found is that people will take the shortest date and run with it. He’d have clients trying to move in on 3 weeks+1 day even if he told them that they ran into problems. So no time quotes anymore, he said other companies he works with had the same problem too.

          • renovation question :

            I would have loved working with someone like your friend. I could have planned on 5 weeks of disruption, and if it ended up being less, awesome!

    • Anonymous :

      How much of a remodel are you talking about? Surface updating or structural changes? If the bones are good and you’re just replacing cabinets, counters, floors, it should be manageable. More than that? I’d talk to experts in your area to get estimates and tips and I’d plan a 50% cushion in your budget and time.

    • I’ve done it and I’d never do it again. It was almost a part time job dealing with all the contractor questions and managing the project. Carrying two mortgages sucked. Also picking out everything started fun and ended up being exhausting. The upside is now I really understand what’s involved in home repairs and upgrades so I’ve been less hesitant to keep improving my space than I was before I knew how “easy” doing some things can be (like changing light fixtures). In hindsight I’d buy something turn-key or close to it. Painting? Fine. Remodel. No thanks.

    • In House Lobbyist :

      My husband and I have remodeled two houses and made tons of money off them when we sold. BUT we did most of the work ourselves (this was my husband’s full time job during that time) and it was pre-children. It takes a lot more time and money than you believe and it can be very hard finding good, quality contractors. I think this also applies to houses in hot neighborhoods that have been flipped by people too. Things are never as easy as HGTV makes it look. I hate to be a downer but unless you are willing to invest a lot of time, mental energy or just throw tons of money at it, then I would not do it.

  18. Talk or fade? Followup :

    Several weeks, I posted about difficulties with my BFF of decades, wondering whether I should try to talk to her, or just fade away. Many of posters suggested “she’s just not that into you” and that it is time to bail. Others suggested that after a friendship of so many years, it was at least worth a conversation.

    We did finally meet up, though she was not open to talking about our friendship. Instead we had two casual hours of small talk, I paid for our drinks after she fumbled ineffectually for her wallet, and I went home wishing I’d stayed at home with my family. It was like one of those horrible dates that you have to get through. Not that our small talk was pained… just that it was so small.

    At this point, I think my hurt feelings, and her unwillingness to acknowledge them, preclude continuing the friendship, and that I cannot continue to hang out with her b/c it causes me the pain of invisibility.

    So my question now is for suggestions getting over this. It feels like a significant breakup. Other than my family, this friend has been in my life longer than anyone I know. We’ve shared a lot of significant milestones. But her disregard of my feelings is something I can no longer stomach, and I don’t see it changing. Any suggestions?

    • Senior Attorney :

      I’m so sorry it worked out this way, but I applaud you for giving it one more go.

      I don’t have a whole lot of suggestions for getting over it. I had a similar breakup a few years ago and it was awful for a long time. I miss her even now. Maybe my best advice is to mourn it for the loss it is, and be kind to yourself as you mourn. As time passes the hurt won’t be so fresh, at least.

    • Anonymous :

      It is a significant breakup and you’re allowed to mourn it just like you would the end of a romantic relationship.

    • hoola hoopa :

      Although this sounds silly/overly-simplistic or something out of a cliche self-help book, I had to give myself permission to quit the relationship. The relationship at that point was so tired and toxic that I didn’t really have to mourn, but I did have to give myself permission to quit something that I had invested a lot into.

    • Similar situation occurred in my life. My “best friend” since 5th grade and I no longer talk on a regular basis (more like once every 6 months). For years, she was able to visit friends in states across the nation, but was unable/unwilling to visit me with less than a 1 hour drive. On many occasions, I would inform her that I would be in her city for the day/weekend, and she always was too “busy” to make time to meet up with me. The final straw was when I was getting married – she didn’t make any attempt at being there for me at any big events during the process like I had been there for her the prior year for her wedding.

      Now, we exchange Christmas cards, birthday cards and the occasional text. I “unfollowed” her on Facebook because I found it to be hard to see her new “best friends” and her with actual relationships. I think it’s completely normal to treat the end of the relationship as you’ve been doing.

      • Ooof! Sorry you had to go through that! And thanks for the commiseration.

        I have had the same issues with my “BFF” being “too busy” — though we live ONE MILE from each other! I text when I am walking past her house, and she is “too busy” with her kids… one of whom is about to start high school, so it’s not like they’re infants needing constant care!

        Though she was one of two ‘best women’ at my wedding, she was unable to come to the [local] rehearsal or rehearsal dinner because of “scheduling difficulties”… and now tells about how she’ll be flying half way across the country for another friend’s wedding, which will surely include pre-wedding festivities. grrr…..

        I think I’d better unfollow her on FB so I don’t have to see all the new BFFs.

    • You’re mourning. You’re grieving. Acknowledge it. Write her a letter, don’t send it. Watch friendship movies? Anne of Green Gables? Then… give yourself permission to get more into different kinds of hobbies and friendships. It’s ok. People grow and change. You’re awesome and a good friend and you’ll find your kindred spirit again soon.

  19. Springing into Spring :

    What’s one or two new clothing items or accessories you want to buy for spring? For work or weekend.

    I’m looking for inspiration, as my wardrobe is feeling pretty stale and fall/winter.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I bought the white J Crew suit that was the Suit of the Week here last week: http://corporette.com/2016/03/09/suit-of-the-week-j-crew-5/

      And since I said I’d report back, I am pleased to report that I love it. It arrived yesterday (the white one) and I’m wearing it today with a navy silk blouse with green and white polka dots. I ordered several sizes and I found that the pieces run pretty small. I’m usually a 2P on the bottom and the 4P skirt fit just right. My sizing is all over the place in tops and jackets and I ended up keeping the 10P (34DD bra size with broadish shoulders, if that helps). I have tiny short T Rex arms and the “bracelet length” sleeves on the petite jacket fit me like full-length sleeves would fit a normal-armed person. Even though I’m mostly off suits I am really happy with this purchase and look forward to wearing the pieces separately as well.

    • A fun pair of flats – my go to for weekend wear. I just picked up a fun pair of brightly colored ‘floral’ flats. I wear with jeans and t-shirt for weekend, black or solid colored dress for church, etc.

    • I just bought a new pair of the Chuck Taylor IIs which I’m excited to try. I love how Chucks look with skirts and dresses in summer.

  20. Does anyone know if there is a way to make outlook automatically reply to messages that are marked “urgent” by senders outside of your organization? Basically, I find it beyond infuriating when someone decides their message should be more important to me than anyone elses.’ (And it’s usually something really mundane and not an emergency). I find it super rude and I want to push back on it.

    • Anonymous :

      Hahahah. No don’t do this.

    • lawsuited :

      What are you going to put in the automatic reply? “I don’t think your email is urgent despite you marking it as such, so I’ll be responding to you according to my normal response time.” ? I don’t know why you can’t just skip the automatic reply step and respond according to your normal response time anyway. At least in my inbox, the emails marked “urgent” don’t appear higher up in my inbox, don’t prompt me to respond to them quicker, they just behave exactly like any other email. If you don’t want to drop everything to respond to email from outside of your organization marked “urgent”, don’t.

      • Normally this is how I handle it, I am just abnormally grumpy today and particularly annoyed by this specific email for other reasons (the contents). I was actually thinking a generic reply would be better than the alternative I considered (calling up this individual and b–ing him out for the “urgent” flag but also for other aspects of the email).

        I’m sure you’re both right that ignoring it is the better, bigger-person way to deal…sometime it is not that rewarding to be the bigger person, at least not in the short term.

        • Anonymous :

          If “marked as urgent” means the red exclamation mark, just remove that column from your outlook inbox. That way you don’t even see if someone has them marked as such. (right click on the exclamation mark header and choose “remove column”).

    • But isn’t it nice to get an e-mail you can just…delete? Ahhhhh.

  21. Women with . :

    May be too late to post – but has anyone here tried thinx or anything similar (i.e., period underwear). I’m tempted. I would love to live without fear of leaks… but hesitant to pull the trigger…. Anyone?

    • Anonymous :

      Just use tampons.

      • Wildkitten :

        I know that so many women love their divacups and a lot of them like the combo of the special underwear with the divacup. I haven’t tried them but they sound awesome – you should definitely try a pair!

    • Another Anon :

      No. I use mattress pads (ha) on days I am heavy and even double-up with tampons.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      Yes! Thinx are no good because they are not machine washable, I use Dear Kate’s. But I use them with a Diva Cup. It is the BEST method — no leaks and no mess.

    • Late to this, but I have Thinx, and I love them, I just ordered another set so I don’t need to wash them twice in a cycle. On my heaviest days I use two tampons and the Thinx for backup, and I change them in the morning and at night. You are suggested to hand-rinse them (I’m not sure it’s necessary but I have), then I put them in the wash in a lingerie bag and hang dry. I have risked low heat with the dryer twice now with no harm done, but that’s why I ordered more. No smell, no diaper feeling, and maybe a bit damp feeling at the very end of a heavier day when I didn’t use a tampon. I love them!!

  22. Just a late afternoon shout-out to Zappos — I got a “$30 credit” email from them and was assuming it would apply to some minimum purchase such as $150. Nope — just free money to use on a purchase of any size. So, new flip flops are headed my way for free!

    • I’ve received this before as well! My package was delayed by 1 extra day, so instead of receiving it in 2 days it took 3. I wasn’t the least bit upset about it being delayed a day (I know some would be, though) and they gave me $20 off. Kudos to great customer service!

    • Boden do this too. I got £10 for my birthday and then another £10 voucher came in that order, which I used to order my dress for graduation. (!).

      Someone mentioned graduation gifts when I asked for bag advice a couple of weeks ago – my parents have offered to buy me the watch I was planning to buy with my signing bonus! It’s one from the Mondaine line, which is a design classic that I love.

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