A recent SNL episode featured a fictional campaign advertisement for a mayoral candidate.  The character, Glenda Okones (played by Kristen Wiig),  listed her flaws, including her reputation for being harsh and cold.  “Here’s why,” she said:  “I just have a naturally frowny face. Not ugly, but certainly severe looking.”

Ah, perfect, I thought: an opportunity to talk about bitchface.

I’ll admit: the main reason we haven’t talked about it before is because I didn’t want to use bad words in the headline of the post!  But I think this is something that can affect a professional woman’s career, and something we should talk about.

Now I admit, wholeheartedly, that I have a naturally frowny face.  A reader once remarked that in my videos I’m always super smiley — it’s primarily because I end up looking super annoyed if I’m not.  (If I have time I’ll have to dig out some scrapped footage from the Lancome sponsored post — I couldn’t believe the video editors got so much usable footage of me looking serious because when I sent it in I worried I just looked bitchy.  Here:  me, serene but not smiling , versus me, actually pissed off.) I think most times it doesn’t matter.  After all, if I’m talking with people they can usually tell that I’m not super annoyed, and if I’m not talking to people (such as if I’m just walking down the street), I don’t really care what you think of me.

That said, I can think of at least one time this trait affected me professionally.  A few years ago I was part of a very small trial team in federal court in Philadelphia.  After a few days of trial, I grew weary of the high calorie, rushed lunches my colleagues ate, and so I excused myself and ducked out to the Subway across the street… and promptly found myself in line, in a very small shop, with all of the female members of the jury.  The first thought that went through my mind was panic — should I turn and walk out?  (I stayed. Which, looking back, was probably the wrong decision.)  Would they recognize me?  (Of course they would — it was an empty courtroom every day except for the lawyers, jury, judge, and occasional witness.)  Should I try to make conversation?  Compliment someone’s bag?  Talk about the sandwich I was looking forward to?  (I decided not to speak unless spoken to.)

Having made all these difficult decisions in the space of about two seconds, I was left standing there wondering what to do.  I didn’t want to fiddle with my phone or Blackberry — they might see some private conversation or think I was self-absorbed.  I realized that, no matter what they thought of my case, my fellow attorneys, or my behavior during the trial, I wanted them, above all else, to not think I was a total bitch.  I didn’t want it to come up in the jury deliberation room — “oh, the side with those stuck-up New York lawyers?” — and I didn’t want it to come up in the back of their minds.  In fact, never in my life had I wanted to look so approachable, so reasonable, so likeable, as I did in those few minutes… and that includes the first time I met my future in-laws.

What I wound up doing was studying the menu — like I had never been to a Subway before in my life! — and doing my very, very best to think happy, contented thoughts.  I thought of my then-boyfriend (now husband), and our upcoming trip to Paris.  I thought of a great sale that I’d been to a week or so before.  I thought of a funny inside joke my brother and I have shared for the past 25 years or so.  And then I ordered my sandwich (being extra careful to say please and thank you), and got the heck out of that Subway shop.

Ever since that Subway experience, I’ve wondered about bitchface.  Can it really affect you professionally?  I can imagine that I probably looked like a bitch when I was taking notes in all of my classes, particularly the classes where I wasn’t engaged — did teachers think less of me because of my naturally frowny face?  In interviews, many people say the first impression, such as seeing someone in a waiting room, is what matters — should I always attempt to “think happy thoughts” during those time periods?  Does it matter that this is one of those peculiar female problems — for example, how many male politicians and trial lawyers tell themselves to think happy thoughts during their moments in repose?

Readers, what do you think?  Do you think you have a naturally frowny face — and how has it affected your professional life? 

Reader K asks about the merits of cheap suits for women…

I’m in the process of changing from a career where pajamas are appropriate work attire to something more “professional” and need all the help I can get. I have been shopping for an interview suit (my first ever and I am almost 40!) and am not sure how to weigh quality vs cost. My clothes budget has been limited to a few t-shirts, a pair of jeans, and maybe a sweater per year so I am unaccustomed to spending a significant amount of money on clothes. I have been browsing at discount stores like Ross, Marshalls, and Kohls to try and find my interview suit for under $100. However, the more I read your blog the more I am wondering if I should suck it up and spend $200-300 on a suit that is wool from a store like Ann Taylor or Banana Republic. Aside from the fact that a well made wool suit will last longer than a synthetic Calvin Klein suit from Ross, do you think there is a significant visual difference? I figure that if my cheap suit works for the interview I can always invest in quality clothes once I have a job that pays more. However, the last thing I want is for the interviewer to think “damn, that’s a cheap suit!”. Any advice?

Great, great question, and I think we should expand the discussion to the differences between LOTS of different price ranges. (The pictured suit is actually not a cheap one, but rather an expensive one — I’ve just been looking for an excuse to share it with you guys without recommending it.  Tee hee.) Here’s my take:

- Under $100. There are lots of suits to be found for under $100, but in general these are going to be sold as a single “suit” — one price for both the jacket and bottoms, whether you’re getting pants or a skirt. While the skirts can sometimes look OK when worn as a separate, the pants almost never do (at least, that’s my experience). Furthermore, because these suits are so inexpensive, the fabric they’re made of is often difficult to work with and may wrinkle easily, hold smells more easily, and start to get a bit shiny when you dryclean them. Bottom line: These suits are great for when you want to bolster a professional wardrobe — particularly if you have to wear suits 5 times a week — but for my money, I would not purchase this kind of suit for an interview/wardrobe basic.

- Under $200. There are suit separates to be had for under $200, particularly at mall stores (think The Limited, Express, or LOFT), as well as at department stores (Macy’s in particular has a number of “Every Day Value” separates from AK Anne Klein, Ellen Tracy, and Calvin Klein). These will be in basic, solid colors, you can get both pants and skirts (and maybe even multiple jackets) to match, in separate sizes (perfect if you need an 8 on top and a 6 in the bottom). The fabric will not be the best (see above), but in terms of bang for your buck, you’re going to get a lot more wear out of these pieces as a wardrobe staple as WELL as an interview suit. Furthermore, if you have to interview twice, you can wear the skirt once and the pants the next time, instead of wearing the same suit. You can also get a better suit that’s sold as a single unit for around $150 or so — I’ve had good luck with Tahari suits off the rack at Macy’s. Bottom line: If you’re working on a very limited budget, these suits are going to be a better use of your money, give you more wardrobe flexibility, and generally look better than the $100-and-under category.

- $200-$500. This is where your ability to watch sales is going to come into play, because it’s pretty common to see a $500 suit go on sale for under $250 if you know what you’re buying. This price range puts you into the better mall stores — Ann Taylor, J.Crew, Banana Republic — and you’ll start to see better fabrics here, such as natural fibers (look for wool you can wear year-round) as well as suiting separates. These suits are going to wear better, fit better, and be easier to wear as separates than any of the cheaper categories.

- $500-$1000.  The fabrics just keep getting better as you get into the range of Theory, Elie Tahari, Nanette Lepore, Rebecca Taylor, Hugo Boss, and more.  In addition to seeing some great basics (Theory suits are, of course, a perennial favorite), there are some more interesting, lovely suits (as we frequently discover in our Suit of the Week feature).

- $1K+.  I’m sure there are differences in the fabrics and fit for this price range, but let’s just say it:  if you buy a suit in this price range it’s pretty much a) to cross something off your Fashion Bucket List, or b) because you’re so rich the price just does not matter.  (Neither of those are bad reasons!)

Ladies, what differences do you see in different price ranges for suits?  How much does YOUR average suit cost (both in terms of sticker price and in terms of what you’ll actually pay, after any discounts)?

Reader C has a great question about thank yous to your references…

I’m anxiously awaiting a few job offers–and am wondering if a $100 gift card to a delicious local restaurant is an appropriate thank you for each of my references? (The potential offers are for healthcare-related opportunities–hospital positions and consulting gigs.) What have you done in the past?

I first misread this question as how to thank your interviewers. (No gift cards to interviewers!) I think this is a cute idea, but one that could be tweaked to make it even better:

Instead of gift cards, take your references to lunch. Ask their career advice, what they think your strong suits are heading into any new job (and, just for your ears, what they think your weaknesses might be!). Ask them how they got to where they are, what they might have done differently given the clarity of hindsight. And then… stay in touch with them. Tell them how you’re doing, ask them to lunch once a year or so and see how they’re doing.

This is how you turn a work colleague into a mentor, at least in my experience. But if you’re far away, a gift card is a nice idea. (Although, truth be told, I don’t think I’ve ever thanked my references with any specific “gift”!)  (Pictured above: Steve’s 80′s Party, originally uploaded to Flickr by Bob. B. Brown.)

Readers, how do you thank the people who serve as your references on your resume?

Sure, we all know what basics professional women are supposed to have in their closets, but if you’re buying one for the first time or replacing one you’ve worn into the ground, it can be a pain to find exactly the right incarnation in stores. In “The Hunt,” we search the stores for a basic item that every woman should have.

I feel like a good black tote bag is something every professional woman needs — particularly if you’re gearing up for interviews.  They’re large enough for a folder with your resume, as well as some reading or work (should you find yourself waiting or with some free time), and they’re also great for stashing all of the items you generally carry in your purse.  Readers, have you recently purchased any great black tote bags?  Do you have a classic that you’ve been using for years?

I’m not generally a fan of faux leather, but it’s hard to beat the price for this one (at least as far as online sales go): it was $135, now marked to $70. London Fog is a respected name, and I like that it comes with a clutch. It’s 16.25″ at the widest point, 11.5″ high and 5.75″ deep — plenty of space. It was $135, now marked to $69.99 at SmartBargains.com. London Fog “Miranda” Tote & Clutch Set

$220 seems like a lot for a nylon bag, but I actually prefer nylon for tote bags because I think it wears better and is lighter weight. This is just a basic black bag, but I like the internal pockets (including one for your ipad and cell phone), and there are removable and repositionable interior dividers. I like it in black for work, but there are a number of fun colors marked 30% off which might be better for a general purpose “tote bag.” The black is $220 at Mandarina Duck. Mandarina Duck Unexpected Shopper

Tumi is another brand I know and like, particularly for business bags for men and women. I like the leather and nylon combination of this one, as well as the little details like the feet on the bag and the interior pockets. It’s $345 at Amazon. Tumi Voyageur Derby Business Tote

I’m actually most excited about this bag — it seems like ages since Kate Spade had a good nylon tote out. I like the hardware for a bit of interest, as well as the feet, interior pockets, and fun lining. It’s $395 at Bloomingdale’s. kate spade new york Nylon Maryanne Tote

I like the durability of patent leather for something like a tote bag — it’s easy to clean and can generally take a lot of use. This East/West tote is simple and basic — I like the slim shoulder straps as well as the toggle closure. It’s $475 at Bloomingdale’s. Longchamp Roseau Patent East West Tote

Hello, lovah. This Fendi bag has me drooling — the pebbled leather! the contrast stitching! the three interior compartments! It’s even on sale at Bluefly: was $2250, now marked to $1620 (including an extra 10% off). Lovely. Fendi black ‘Roman’ leather ‘Selleria’ medium tote

Like this feature? Check out other recent installments!

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Should your Greek affiliations be on your resume?  Reader C wonders…

I’m a current undergrad applying to law schools this fall and am finalizing my resume. I have a fairly senior professor/administrator who insists that students not put their Greek affiliation anywhere on their resume because he worries that being in a sorority/fraternity (or even the “wrong one”) could hurt a chance of a job/admissions offer. I held a leadership role in my sorority (one where there was no committee under me, but I did initiate and successfully complete some large projects) and was also a recruitment counselor for Greek life for two years (a highly competitive position at my school). If I omit these positions, my resume is rather sparse in the leadership category. Do you have any suggestions? Should I say that I was in Greek life, but leave the name of the sorority off? Or can I hope that I won’t be judged to be a shallow, snooty “sorority girl” before they meet me?

I was not a member of a sorority in my undergrad years — something that I slightly regret now.  I went about halfway through the “rush” process, but dropped out of the process before pledging (I seem to remember some frenzied late-night conversation with friends — you know the kind in college, where the World Suddenly Makes Sense — about how “sister” meant more to me than “group of girls I live with” and therefore I should drop out of the process.)  In terms of my college social life, I don’t regret the decision at all — my friends and I had great fun, and I was very involved with a more subject-specific “residential college,” as NU called them — but in the <cough> many years since college, I’ve come to wonder whether a sorority affiliation would have been helpful from a networking perspective.  I seem to remember there being a slight bias against the Greek system from professors, administrators, and a lot of students* as well. (Pictured: I just rewatched the movie “Old School” and laughed really hard — I recommend it if you haven’t seen it!)

Now, that said, should Reader C put her leadership positions on her resume? Well… I’m not sure.  In the “applying to grad school” context, I think there may be a bias against sorority girls and I think your professor might have some good points.  I’m also not sure whether “leadership” is really a quality that grad schools are looking for, above and beyond, say, critical thinking, researching, and writing skills.  I often talk about my theory of preparing for an interview by thinking of three great traits, with stories to accompany them — I wouldn’t have a problem with you pulling a story from your leadership experience at the sorority.  But in terms of written application materials, I might leave your sorority experiences as one-liners in a “Other Interests” type of section.

Ultimately it depends what else your resume looks like, though — if you really have very little work experience then a sorority-filled resume is better than an extremely sparse resume.  However you put it on your resume, I think it would look very weird to leave off the specific affiliation and just “say you were in Greek life.”

All right, ladies, I’m curious — how many of you were in the Greek system in college?  How has it affected your professional lives since — have you used your sorority as a networking tool? And, of course, what’s your advice to Reader C?

*I will always, always, always remember taking a psych class in college and having a teacher ask the class, “What affiliation are you?” and hearing a student immediately call out, loudly and proudly from the front row, “GDI.”  “What affiliation is that?” asked the professor.  “Gawwwwd Damn Independent,” she said just as loudly and proudly. Ohhhhhhh-kay.

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Should she accept a job offer on the spot? How else can she prepare for an exit interview for her summer gig? Reader J wonders…

The summer is coming to a close and soon to be 3L’s who happened to land a summer job are waiting anxiously and eagerly for the famous “exit interview.” I, too, am one of those 3L’s. Most likely the firm I’m interning at will offer me a job or tell me that I wasn’t a perfect fit. I want to be prepared as much as possible for how to handle both situations. I feel the summer has gone well, so I especially want to know how to react if I’m given a job offer. Personally, I would like at least a little bit of time to think about all the nitty gritty’s and frankly just some time to step away and evaluate the summer. At the same time, I looked at the list of OCI’s this year and there are literally only 5 firms coming to interview us 3L’s; all of which I’m sure I have, at the most, a 1 out of 10 chance of landing. Yes, the market is still quite awful. That begs the question of whether I should accept on the spot. Further, if I do decide to accept should I attempt to negotiate a salary, figure out expectations that they have of me, express my interests, etc.? I’m totally at a loss, and any help would be fabulous.

Great question. I think the best case scenario is the easiest to prepare for, but maybe that’s me. I’m really curious to hear what the readers say here. (Pictured: Welcome, originally uploaded to Flickr by alborzshawn.)

In the event that you’re offered a job:
The summer has gone well! They like you! Do you like them? The ball is in your court now. Reader J notes that she wants time to consider the “nitty gritty” details and evaluate the summer — but in this economy I’d advise caution, because I think a lot of prospective employers would be surprised (and WILL remember) if you don’t accept on the spot. What “nitty gritty” details do you want to consider? If they are questions that you haven’t asked yet — salary/bonus information, benefits information, information about the company or practice itself — those are all valid questions, and I urge you to ask them IN the exit interview. If the details you want “time to evaluate” are things like the general experience and the people… well, I’m not sure what further information you’re going to gain after leaving the interview.

Just to play the devil’s advocate, what are your other options at this point? As you note, your chances for getting another job through OCI are extremely slim — and I hate to break it to you but having a job already in your pocket puts you in a much better position for clerkships, fellowships, and more. (I might also argue that firms are fungible from the perspective of a junior lawyer, but I’ll save my cynicism for now.) From a realistic standpoint, also, I can remember a ton of other circumstances where people haven’t returned to the firm after accepting their offer, either because they had a baby, their significant other got a job elsewhere, they started their own company, or they followed a different career path that presented itself after the fact. If their relationship with the firm was affected (and I doubt it was, honestly), it no longer mattered at that point because they already had something else lined up. Here, where you’re just trying to “consider your options” in an economy where millions of people have been laid off or can’t find legal work — and so hot on the heels of the firm’s own consideration of WHO should get an offer that summer — your hesitance may not sit so great with the firm, particularly because they know there’s a dearth of other options.

Regarding negotiating a salary — if that sort of thing is on the table, by all means negotiate.  Many firms are changing from the “lockstep” salary arrangements of years past, and you should make sure that you’re covered and even, perhaps, locked into the best position for you.  One thing to keep in mind is that the economy is extremely volatile right now — if you accept the job offer and don’t return to work for one year to three years (say, if you take a clerkship or two in the interim) then the economy could have a) rebounded and the starting salary offered could be higher than what it currently is now, or b) sunk even further and the salary offered to people who did NOT negotiate could be lower than whatever you bargained for, which might make you a candidate if the firm needs to “defer” associates.

Some other suggestions for an “exit” interview:

• Try to go in with some questions. “Was there any specific feedback in my evaluations for areas upon which I could improve? Especially since I still have a year of law school left, I’d love to know if I should beef up my legal writing or research skills, or if I should gain more knowledge in a specific area of law.”
• Stay professional.
• Stay positive (unless there’s some feedback the firm really needs to get).  Complaining about colleagues, whining about firm benefits (e.g., “Geez, could you improve the quality of the snack cookies? Other firms bake theirs from scratch”), or focusing on other petty things is not going to be helpful.

Readers, what are your suggestions for Reader J?  Should she accept a job offer on the spot?  What other advise do you have for the exit interview?

Reader S wonders how one can change jobs without changing companies — including getting your current boss to champion the change.

I am a fairly new admittee to the bar in the state where I live (just under 2 years). For the past 2 years I have been working in a quasi-legal position that was created just for me. Recently, I’ve been feeling a serious internal pull towards a more traditional legal career and a litigation position has opened up on my company that I plan to apply for. My concern is that I feel some allegiance to my current supervisor because she brought me in, but I am convinced that the traditional position would be a better career move. How do I tell my supervisor that I am applying for an internal position without losing her trust?

This is one of the hardest questions, I think — and one that comes up frequently. I would first caution you to learn as much about the position without talking to your supervisor — are you really a good fit, or are they looking for someone with a lot of litigation experience already?  The person who recently vacated this position may be the best person to talk to first.  If you decide to go for it and want to talk with your supervisor, I’d take her out to lunch and say something like this:

“I wanted to talk with you about something delicate — the litigation position that just opened up. I can’t begin to tell you how much your mentoring has meant to me over the past two years, and I trust your advice with regards to my career. When I saw that there was a recent opening, I got excited because it seems like I would be a perfect fit — particularly given that I already know the company so well and so many of the legal issues that arise. What are your thoughts?”

(Pictured above: Fork in the Road, originally uploaded to Flickr by Randy Levine.)

Some points to pull out from those brief sentences:

• Cut to the chase quickly. If you find yourself fumbling for words or have some perfectly planned but long intro, she may be sitting there wondering “Has she already found another job? Is she quitting right now?” and not listen to a word you’re saying. Don’t lose her attention like that — put it on the table as quickly and as clearly as possible as you can.
• Focus first on what you can bring to the company, not what the company/position will give to you. You’ve got some huge strengths over any other candidate that you should call out immediately, such as your knowledge of both the issues that you’ve seen in your “quasi-legal” position as well as the players involved (such as, I’m guessing, the inside and outside lawyers). You hopefully know who to go to in the company to get information you need (or where to go in the company files). This all will help you hit the ground running if and when you start. I would treat this as a quasi job interview and go in prepared to discuss some of your top achievements in your quasi-legal position, as well as evidence of how you’ve grown in the position. As always, I advise you to try to think of your three best qualities as a worker, and give them life by finding correlating stories, in this case, preferably from your two years of employment with that company.
• Asking her for advice is a good way to broach the subject and it will give you some ideas of where to go from there. In an ideal world she’ll say “What a great idea, I was thinking the same thing!” and be your advocate to the Powers That Be. However, she may also say any of the following kind of things, and you should be prepared to rebut or discuss any of them in a friendly, non-argumentative, advice-seeking manner. For example:
  • “But we can’t lose you!” Are you really irreplaceable in your current job? What would your transition plan be to leave your current job? Wouldn’t your inside knowledge of the company make the transition into the new job easier for the company?
  • “But you’re not qualified!” I don’t know the specifics of your role, but if you’ve only worked in a quasi-legal capacity for the company (such as a paralegal role) that may not equate, at all, to the kind of experience an in-house company would expect from a lawyer who has been gaining experience with a law firm. In that event, ask more questions to understand the role that’s open — what specific types of things would you be handling? Would there be anyone above you to mentor you? One thing to consider — if you truly think this is the best career move for you — is whether you’d be open to other options, such as taking a salary somewhere between your current one and the one offered for the position for a temporary, well-defined “learning” time period, designed to ensure that if you’re leaning heavily on the other lawyers that the company is at least saving some money from the experience. Let me be clear, though — the last thing you want is to get into some situation where the company gives you more work (such as litigation work) in addition to your current quasi-legal job without extra salary or a new title.  If she really does not think you are currently qualified for the role, is there anything you can do in your current position to get more qualified the next time such a position opens up?
  • <Stunned bitter silence> I’ve had some bosses who would have given me the stink eye if I brought up something like this, and if this is the response you get then you need to figure out why they’re reacting this way.  Sometimes it’s more about them (they’re thinking selfish thoughts like “Now I have to retrain someone” or “I thought she could handle X but now I have to” or “Why doesn’t she like working with me?”); other times it might legitimately be about you and your competence to do the job. I’m hoping your current boss isn’t one of those people, but if it is then you just have to really prepare yourself to draw her out. What are her hesitations? Doesn’t she think that you would be able to hit the ground running? Doesn’t she think you’ve mastered your current roster of duties and would be better for the company elsewhere?

Finally, a word of advice: you are putting yourself on the line here. No company is going to fire you for aspiring to be in a better position, but it may hurt your relationship with your current boss as well as your prospects for advancement in your quasi-legal role. So I would cover my bases by looking to see if there are other open jobs that you should be applying for at the same time as this current job. Set up a search on a career site like Monster.com or The Ladders, put a call in to your school’s career center, and contact a recruiter.

Readers, what advice do you have for reader S?  Have you ever tried to change jobs but not companies?

Is curly hair professional enough for interviews? Reader R writes in to ask the question, which has come up a ton of times in comments but hasn’t been discussed directly. So let’s talk about it. First, her Q:

I am 23 and interviewing for a new position. I have the suit/shoes/accessories combo set for interviews, but my problem is my hair. I have very curly (shoulder length)hair, which is made more curly because I live in the very hot, humid South. I do have any frizz under control (with a veritable arsenal of hair products), but I have had trouble deciding exactly what to do with my hair on interview. I have worn my hair both straight and curly for interviews in the past, but it takes forever to blow my hair out, and it seems like my potential new bosses should see me the way I will really look when I come to work everyday. What do you think?

This question hits near and dear to my heart because, as I’ve mentioned a few times, the older I get, the curlier/wavier my hair gets. For my $.02: There is nothing unprofessional about curly hair. It looks beautiful, and a lot of strong, professional women I know (whose style I envy!) in fact have long curls. Furthermore, I strongly believe that it takes more time and energy to FIGHT your hair’s natural texture than it does to work with it — time that, frankly, is better spent elsewhere for most women.  (Pictured: Curls 1/27/09, originally uploaded to Flickr by dianecordell.)

That said, I think a few facets of The Curly Life give women pause as to its professionalism. A lot of these are personal observations, so I’m curious to hear what my fellow curly girls will say.

a) Wet hair is not professional. My curls/waves look best if they airdry. Which means that either I have to be up and out of the shower about an hour and a half before leaving for the destination, or I show up with slightly wet hair (depending how cooperative the commute is). Most women would agree that wet hair is not professional. So if you’re going anywhere important — certainly to court, a big meeting, or an interview, or even just for your regular office look — your hair should be dry.

b) Personally, my curls are unpredictable, which means that for me I would not rely on them for an interview. Some days I’ll come out of the shower — having used the same products I used the day before, the same drying techniques I’ve used before — but something in the air that day makes them dry beautifully. And I feel like a million bucks on those days! Other days I’ll repeat the exact same techniques and come out looking like a frizzy-haired mess. I’m still working out the kinks (ha ha) to my system, but for now if I have anything important going on then I’ll probably get a professional blow-out or flatiron my hair (which is so, so much worse for your hair than a blow-out). Pulling your hair back is another option.  I totally envy those curly girls who have their systems down pat — my own curly hair system has gotten a lot better over the past year or so but it still needs tweaking.  (I’d say what I’m doing now, but it wouldn’t be a complete discussion without a list of the things that I’ve tried and rejected, which would take too long and, I suspect, not be that interesting for anyone but me!)

c)  Next-day curls are something unto themselves. This doesn’t relate to professionalism, but it does factor into time (and is one of the reasons why I will spend more time in the winter to blowdry my hair).  I’ve tried a number of products designed to “perk up” next day curls, but they all offend me in some manner — either they smell too much, they make my hair too crunchy, or they make my hair LOOK too crunchy or wet (just a spritzer filled with water seems to work best for me if I try anything).  So in the winter, when it takes forever for my curls to dry and the air is fairly dry anyway, I will spend 5-10 minutes trying to blowdry my hair straight, which is all I generally have patience for.  (I do find that anti-frizz treatments help tremendously, specifically John Frieda Frizz-Ease Hair Serum, Extra Strength Formula or Lotus Shield Frizz Control Anti-Frizz Treatment.  I’m looking forward to trying the reader-recommended John Frieda Frizz-Ease 3-Day Straight Semi-Permanent Styling Spray this fall.)  This past winter it was really easy to ride that one blowout for 2 or 3 days because I wasn’t working out (I was way too nauseous and exhausted from December to February anyway) and when I started working out again I was primarily doing workouts that didn’t work up quite a sweat… I’ll be curious to see how it goes this winter when I return to more rigorous workouts like running and my beloved Jari Love/Jillian Michaels/The FIRM DVDs.  (For the record you can run well into your pregnancy — one rockstar friend ran up 5-10K daily up to her 8th month! — but one of the first pregnancy symptoms that hit me was a real lack of lung capacity, so running was really uncomfortable.  Aerobic DVDs aren’t generally encouraged because your balance is off and your risk of falling is greater.)

Those are actually the most negative things I can come up with for curly hair — so if Reader R has her system down better than mine, I encourage her to go to the interview with her regular curly hair.  Readers, what are your thoughts on the professionalism of curly hair?  Does anyone think that curly hair, in and of itself, is NOT professional — and if so why?  For those of you with curly hair, what are your best tips for getting it consistently styled?

Reader L has a question about networking and job hunting in a different geographic area…

I just became engaged to a wonderful young man who lives an hour and a half away from me. This is the closest we’ve lived since we began dating a long time ago, due to jobs and schooling. I’ve been at my job for 3 years, and am not happy. He loves his job of one year and it has much more potential for growth.  I’ve been quietly asking around, trying to see if anyone knows people in his city, which is the largest in our state, and he is not in the same field as I am and doesn’t have connections. Ideally I’d like to go to the same office as I work in (government) in boyfriend’s city, but it turns out there are 3 people in my own office who told me they’ve already submitted their resumes months ago to that city’s office and no response. These are people with much more experience than me so I’m quite discouraged. Should I just send my resume blindly and hope? Should I mention in the cover letter that my future husband lives in the city and that’s why I want to move there, or not say anything about my desire to move? I’ve already tried the local bar association there and the website of my law school’s career services office, but it seems like no one is hiring. One thing that’s a possibility is telling my bosses that I want to go elsewhere for a few years until my fiancee can start telecommuting with his job and then we can move back. There are 3 women in my office who have done that – 2 have done it multiple times now – and they are always welcomed back with open arms. Since both fiancee and I are from the town I live in now, I think that’s a reasonable and believable request. Unfortunately we can’t just live halfway between our jobs as my office has a residency requirement to live within a certain mileage of work.

I’m curious to see what the readers say about this one.  First, to Reader L, congratulations on your engagement!  Some thoughts on job hunting and networking are below, but I’ll say up front that the telecommuting option sounds like a great option for your situation, particularly if you know your boss is open to the idea.  Talk with the women who’ve done it before and see what they thought of the experience — what is their advice to you in talking to your boss?  what is their advice to you in telecommuting?  Once you start telecommuting you can network (and interview, depending on whatever agreement you strike with your boss in order to telecommute) in your new city without fear of using all those vacation days that I’m sure you’re hoping to save for the wedding festivities and your honeymoon. (Pictured: Map, originally uploaded to Flickr by NeilsPhotography.)

Now, some ideas on networking and jobhunting in a different city than your own…

a) Borrow your fiance’s address. One of the tips I remember from my college years (where the university was in Chicago but many people migrated to New York to work) was that you should “borrow” a local friend’s address to use on your resume and correspondence so it looks like you’re a local.  If the city is only an hour and a half drive, it should be no problem if the prospective employer wants to interview you sometime soon, like in a day or two.

b) Make plans to be in the city for Week X.  Even if you don’t have any job interviews planned, write to the employers you’re interested in and tell them that you’ll be moving to the city soon and would love to hear more about their business, and could you arrange an informational interview for the week of X?  Arrange as many as you can.  I would also add to this mix any alumni (whether you knew them or not) who are working in the industry you’d like to be in, or who work for employers you’d like to work for.  Repeat as often as you can given your current vacation time allotment.

c) Use online social networks to see who you know in the city. For example, if you sign up for LinkedIn Pro you can use the “Advanced” tab to search for connections located “in or near” a certain zipcode, and you can filter them by seniority level, which groups they have in common with you, what level of connection they are to you, and even by where they fall in the Fortune 1000 rankings.  So if I were moving to LA and wanted to find a legal job that had some relation to the IP or media law field, I would search for people working within 50 miles of 90036 (the zip code of a friend’s LA address), who work in Industries such as Judiciary, Law Practice, Legal Services, or Legislative Offices, of all Seniority Levels, who are affiliated with some of the Groups I’ve joined (such as Media & Entertainment Law Group, Medill Alumni, ThoseInMedia, The Copyright Society of the USA, Digital Breakfast, etc), and look only for 1st or 2d connections and group members who speak English.  Given my current connections, that search nets me 397 results — not a bad place to start. (Full disclosure: I have a LinkedIn Pro membership courtesy of LinkedIn;  I also have purchased a small amount of stock in the company.)

d) If you do start telecommuting, do your best to network and expand your connections. A number of my friends swear by charitable groups like the Junior League as a great way to meet new people in a city; you may also find that a number of local institutions such as museums have “under 35″ networking groups that may be great ways for you to network.  Get involved in alumni groups, local chapters of the bar association or specialty associations, church groups — whatever interests you.  You don’t mention where you’ll be holding the wedding (your city or his), but as you get to know your vendors I’d even suggest asking them if they know anyone in your field — you just never know.

e) Since you do recognize that it’s likely you’ll be back in your current city one day, don’t forget about it once you’re away. Continue to network and make business lunches with people whenever you’re back in the city.

Readers, what are your tips for jobhunting from afar? What other resources would you recommend to Reader L?

Reader H wonders whether students should get business cards…

A couple weeks ago, you did a post about stationery and handwritten notes. In the run-up to OCI, I’m wondering if I should order business cards. Many law schools offer student business cards but I personally think the branding is sort of tacky and would much rather have a plain card with my name, email, and phone number. Should students going into interview season suck it up and buy their schools’ cards? Or is there a way to have a simple, stylish card of one’s own (without seeming pretentious)?

I guess this is an issue many people will have in the corporate world, too, but at least once you have a job, someone else is paying for your cards… as long as I’m paying for my own cards, I want to be able to design them well, but I’m wondering what’s appropriate.

I think I’ve mentioned my point of view here and there on the blog before, but I don’t think I’ve ever been really clear about it: I think everybody should have business cards. Ok, not small children, but everyone else — students! people out of work! people seeking new work!  stay at home moms! In short: business cards for everybody. (Pictured: Wellspring Double Flip Case, Audrey Medallion (2420), available at Amazon for $5.91. Check out our previous guide to business card cases!)

This actually isn’t such a new idea — back in the olden days, well-bred single women were supposed to have “calling cards” that had their name and address on it, as well as the time of day (usually a 2-hour window or so) in which they accepted gentlemen callers.  I don’t remember where exactly I read about this, but when I was single I remember thinking that this was a much better idea than handing out my business card to the occasional cute stranger.  So I got my first “personal” set of business cards from Vista Print — they just had my first name, my phone number, and an email address that I used for dating.  Now, I’ll be the first to admit that this was mildly insane: I probably needn’t have worried quite so much about stalkers and spammers — and it was a little bit weird to give out a card that didn’t have my last name.  (I called them my “playa” cards, and actually was so embarrassed by them that I did in fact give my future husband my business card when we first met.)  Still, I had such a great time being freed from the law firm business card (and realized that the prices were so low) that I’ve since gotten lots, and lots, of other personal business cards, including

• when I was actively hunting for a new job — these had my full name, my phone number, and the email address that’s on my resume.  If I’d been smart about it I’d have set up a professional website for myself and my CV and added that URL as well, or just given the URL to my LinkedIn page.
• really nice Moo cards for guests at my wedding (Moo cards are great quality, but very photo-driven — so they were a perfect way to use some of our “engagement shots.”)  In the pack we bought we used 10 different images on the front, and on the back we listed the photo-sharing site that we hoped all of our wedding guests would use to share their personal pictures from the wedding with us.
• when we moved into a new apartment — we moved in December 2009, so we just tucked these cards into our holiday cards and, subsequently, gave them to people we hadn’t seen in a while.  It just seemed like the cheapest and easiest way to distribute our new address.
• for Corporette — I’ve actually ordered several packs of business cards for Corporette, not because I’ve gone through them so rapidly but more because I couldn’t decide what name I was going to use for the blog  until I actually came out back in April 2010 (Nickname or Full Name? Maiden Name Last Name? Just last name? Just maiden name?) or what I wanted to call myself (my current cards just say “Kat Griffin, Publisher.”)  I’ve used a few different companies, but have found that I really like the cards from one of the big box office stores — I’m trying to find my latest receipt and will update when I figure out which one.  The colors are nice, the ink is raised, the cards are on good stock — and the prices were really competitive. (I actually have a bit of paper guilt that I have so many unused business cards — let’s just say my necklaces are really, really organized.)

To answer Reader H’s question — I think you can have a bit of fun with design, but keep in mind that you’re representing yourself. A plain design might show that you’re no-nonsense, functional, not fussy.  A unique design might show that you’re creative, stylish, not content with the boring white card.  I think either of these two options are great — they represent who you are.  I think you want to be very careful about choosing a card using stock images (a tiny flower! or heart! or wavy lines that are slightly reminiscent of the 80s!) because it may convey things about you that you don’t intend.  Similarly, one person I know has a card that has a caricature of herself on it, looking slightly tarted up and comical — which would be great if she were a comedienne.  (Unfortunately, she isn’t.)  If you’re not overly creative but don’t want a plain design, you might want to just design a simple monogram for your card.  Some places to check them out:  Vista Print, Fine Stationery, Office Max, Staples, and other “big box” paper stores.  I usually think of Moo Cards being used by artists or graphic designers (although I know one blogger who has them), but if your personal hobby is photography (or travel, or photographing your travels) using some of your own images for the photos could be a fun but classy way to use cards with a bit of design on them.

Readers, have you ordered your own business cards?  Where have you had great experiences? How much design is too much design for an “I’m looking for a job” card?