Reader A asks a great question for everyone who had a wilder youth: what to do about tattoos in the office?
As I’m now a law student, I’m worried about how to dress in order to hide my tattoos, which go from both shoulders down to right above my elbows; they’re dark enough to be seen through most lighter button-downs. Not that it matters, but they’re all very tasteful– I went to art school in my wild undergrad days. Now, though, I’m wondering whether I’ll be forever banned from wearing any sheer blouse or sleeveless shirt. Am I destined to wear collared shirts for the next thirty years of work? Any advice would be appreciated immensely.
We haven’t talked about tattoos in the workplace for years, so let’s revisit the subject. I will say at the outset that I think tattoo sleeves are in a very different category than the tiny tattoo somewhere noticeable (wrist, ankle) or the bigger tattoo somewhere generally hidden (lower back, shoulder blade). As someone with tattoo sleeves (or half-sleeves) (tattoo ballet sleeves?), you should not only know your office, but I think should also know a) yourself, b) your boss, and c) your business relationships. (Pictured: Shading, originally uploaded to Flickr by liquidnight.) Here’s what I mean:
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By the time I started working in BigLaw, I’d had about seven jobs before that. For four of those jobs, my bosses were women; the other jobs (lifeguarding and two fashion magazines) were, well, not exactly testosterone-fueled environments. Everyone had called me by my first name, and we generally enjoyed a collegial atmosphere. However, when I started working at the law firm, I began to notice what felt like a very male-friendly environment. Nothing was sexist, per se, but it still contrasted sharply with the work atmospheres I’d known before, and made me feel out of place. (Pictured: Team jersey, originally uploaded to Flickr by nats.)
One of those things was being called by my last name. I’d always hated sports growing up (despite having, at various points, been a member of the tennis and swimming teams), and nothing annoyed me more than people saying “Let’s call Vogele” or “Whazzup, Vogele?” (As you may have guessed, my maiden name is Vogele.) What annoyed me even more about the last name thing was that it wasn’t men who were perpetuating it — it was women, who, I assumed, were trying to fit in with the old boys’ club.
At one point, in my first or second year, I was on a team of four female associates, led by another woman or two in charge of us — and yet we still all went by last names. One night, behind closed doors, I ranted to my good friend about it, going on and on about how much I hated it. Was I supposed to catch a ball sometime soon, or go long? (Alternately, where was my pipe, whiskey, and manservant?)
And she pointed out that two of the four of us had the same first name. Well…. FINE.
I’ve learned to live with being called by my last name only — but I’m curious what everyone else’s take on it is? Do you get called by your last name in your workplace? Does it seem like a part of the old boys’ club? Are there other little things that grate on your nerves?
What kind of car should the overachieving chick drive? On the one hand, a designer car could impress clients and colleagues… but on the other hand, it can also convey that you’re “not working for the money.” Reader K wonders:
I’m graduating from law school next month and I’ll be starting at a large regional firm in the Fall. For the past 11 years, I’ve been driving an old 2-door Honda. It was a great car for commuting to law school, but I’m definitely ready for an upgrade. My husband and I have talked about buying a new car and he really wants a higher-end sedan (audi, lexus, acura). I would love a luxury car, but I would be equally happy with something more modest. I’m worried that if I pull up in an expensive new car on my first day at the firm, my colleagues will assume that 1. I don’t really need to work (untrue) or 2. I’m materialistic and fiscally irresponsible (also untrue). My husband and I are in our 30′s, we’ve both worked and saved for quite a few years, and I have a small amount of law school debt, so it’s within our reach to upgrade.
Am I worrying about nothing or should I consider my colleagues’ perception when deciding what type of car to purchase?
This should be a fun one — I’m already seeing shades of our engagement ring discussion, as well as our intern-with-the-Birkin discussion. I should say upfront that I’ve been living and working in NYC for about 15 years now, and cars just don’t matter that much here. (Pictured: Devan’s Pimped-Out Ride 3, originally uploaded to Flickr by Jennerally.)
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Reader B writes with a great question: should she leave her well-located office and move to a bigger one down the hall?
There is a large office that has been vacant in our firm for 9 months or so (another associate was let go). I have a small office, but I like the location of it. It’s right next to the partner I work for and the assistant we share, and there’s always activity around it, which suits my work style. The large office is down the hall a bit, in a quieter area with less activity and visibility, all of which are “cons” for me. I’ve been going back and forth with asking to move (I know they’d say yes). I think the large office looks better to clients, I’ve been here for several years now, and I’m the only attorney still in a small office, the rest are occupied by paralegals. Any thoughts as to size versus location and which is more important?
Tough, tough question. My gut reaction is you should stay put because you seem happy in your current office… but your points about the paralegals and clients are serious things to consider. (Pictured: Office Hallway HDR Test, originally uploaded to Flickr by WintrHawk.) Whichever one you choose, you may want to read our suggestions on office decor.
I suppose the first question to ask is whether there are any dream offices — i.e., larger offices, near your partner or in other active areas — even if they may be occupied at the moment? [click to continue…]
Reader N writes in with a sticky situation: in the midst of a company “reorganization,” a female subordinate who has been with the company for much longer than she has has been badmouthing Reader N to her future bosses. We’ve talked about spiteful coworkers before, but not in the context of a reorganization where your job might actually be at risk. (Pictured: Spite House, originally uploaded to Flickr by Blind Grasshopper.)
I wondered if you and the readers could offer some advice. I lucked out with a fairly high powered in house counsel position only one year out of law school. I love, love love my job and all the challenges it brings. I have fantastic coworkers, and am super lucky to be working with people like the CEO, CFO and COO, and of course my boss the General Counsel.
The problem is that there is a member of my team who has been a thorn in my side since I started. This person is a paralegal and is a valuable member of the team, but she is on a destructive mission and is determined to get rid of me. She constantly badmouths me behind my back. At first it was the secretaries in our suite, and it may even have reached senior management. Eventually it reached my boss’s ears, and he had a long and firm chat with her, during which she insisted that I “wasn’t working out.” She didn’t have any evidence of this of why, and her comments were things like “well, you [boss] are so busy and she isn’t really helping you- I just don’t think she’s working out.”
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Do you give graduation gifts for friends? Reader E wonders…
I have a good friend from undergrad graduating from business school this spring. Any thoughts on an appropriate gift?
I’ll throw out a few ideas, but I’m curious to hear from you guys — how often do you gift friends? Friends and I used to exchange holiday and birthday gifts (all around $30, if memory serves), and we all just kind of stopped doing it sometime in our mid-20s, I think because we had mostly passed the realm of being excited about $30 gifts. I still gift for weddings and showers, of course, but having gone through them myself now I know that there’s a huge range of what people give, with some sticking in the $50 and under range, while others go for bigger ticket items. (The hardest thing I’ve had to realize about the wide range of gifts is that they don’t necessarily reflect how “good” a friend you are — sometimes a friend gets you a bigger or smaller gift because it’s how she was raised; maybe she’s on a budget; maybe she factored her travel costs into her gift-giving budget, and sometimes she just procrastinated and had a limited selection from the registry by the time she bought.) It’s easy to “respond” in kind if you know how much someone gave you for your own wedding or baby shower (ladies, this is an excellent reason to keep track!) but if you’re the first you sort of have to pick a target price out of thin air. For non-wedding/baby events — such as my girlfriend who just made partner at her law firm — my go-to gift is a bottle of Veuve Clicquot, which I always think of as being classy and celebratory without being overly expensive. As for graduation… all of my friends graduated generally at the same time I did, so I don’t think I got them anything beyond maybe dinner or drinks. (Pictured: Graduation cake topper, originally uploaded to Flickr by Lou.)
Anyway, if you’re inclined to give a graduation gift to a friend, here are some ideas… [click to continue…]
