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What To Do When Your Boss Has It Out For You

05/09/2013 By 80 Comments

what to do when your boss hates you.indexedHow can you avoid getting fired when your boss has it out for you? In general, how can you deal with horrible bosses? Reader M has a good question:

I know you’ve covered things like workplace etiquette and tips on dealing with co-workers, but do you have any suggestions on how to deal with horrible bosses? A friend of mine has been having issues with a boss (male, if that matters) who has been bullying her recently through means of intimidation, threatening her position in the workplace, and embarrassing her in front of clients. With a downward spiraling economy and many people being laid off, what is the best approach to dealing with someone who is looking for a reason to fire you?

Ouch. I’m sorry for your friend, M! Vivia Chen at The Careerist just covered what to do when you’re getting fired, so this seems timely to me.  Everyone has a lousy manager at some point in their life, some of whom actually hate you.  I once clashed so badly with a superior that she actually threw a redweld at my head (yep, Professional was her middle name); I’ve fortunately blocked out most things about that time in my life beyond the fact that I woke up, every day, to Whitney Houston’s song, “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay.“  You will get out.  Here are some tips for the friend with the bad boss:
[Read more...]

Filed Under: Professionalism, Transitions, Work Styles

How to Promote Your Friends Professionally

05/02/2013 By 25 Comments

how-to-promote-friendsHow can you promote your friends and colleagues in a positive way? Considering all the talk from Lean In about how women should be more supportive of each other in the office, I thought this was a great question from Reader E:

I am an intern (waiting on bar results) at a small law firm. A branch office of my firm is hiring a new attorney for that office, and my supervisor asked me If I knew anyone who was looking. I suggested my friend A., who submitted a resume. Today I found out that the attorney in the branch office wants to interview A. This attorney also wants to talk to me, “candidly,” about A. I am confident in my friend’s ability, but I know this office has had a friend of a current attorney not work out. What can I say to promote my friend and what topics or traits should I avoid?

I actually think there is some etiquette involved when it comes to promoting friends and colleagues, talking up their accomplishments, and even helping them network. Here are some pointers, but I’m curious to hear what else the readers say:

- When suggesting your friend for a specific job: Ask A (let’s say her name is Allison) for a copy of her resume, and what she thinks her top three selling points are. I would then either a) write a short email attaching the resume, or b) swing by the hiring partner’s office, hand-delivering a copy of the resume, to say basically, “My friend Allison just applied for Position Y, but I wanted to bring you her resume myself. Allison is a good friend from law school; we worked together on law review and she won the moot trial competition. I think she’d be a great addition to the firm.  Please let me know if I can answer any other questions.” Note a few things about this: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, Career, Interviewing, Job Hunting, Networking, Professionalism

Statement Pieces and the Intern

04/16/2013 By 85 Comments

statement pieces for internsWhen can interns wear statement pieces like necklaces or shoes?  Reader C, a law student, wonders….

I am a current law student preparing for a summer internship. I’ve been reading through a lot of your old posts trying to get a gauge on appropriate office wear. My question is about shoes.

I’m wondering how far is too far with statement shoes. If I am wearing a more muted outfit, is it okay to have a more colorful pair of shoes? For instance, I was considering a pair of shoes like these from Loft.

Would those be considered too bold for an office?

Interesting question. We get into this time and time again, but I’m always curious to see what the readers have to say. For my own $.02: Those are not first day shoes. Those are not big meeting shoes, or networking shoes. But: they could be office shoes. As in, you’re having a low key day, you’re not seeing anyone important, and you just want to mix it up a little bit. To be honest, if you’re interning at a BigLaw firm, there probably are not going to be very many of those days. So this becomes an issue of budget: if you have the money to spend for shoes that you may way a few times during the summer, then knock yourself out.  (There are very limited sizes left at Loft, but they are crazy affordable with today’s 40% off sale — they were $79.50, then marked to $69.50, with the extra 40% off they come to $41.99.  Petra Multicolored Floral Print Pumps)

(Update: If you really like the floral look, these very similar Ivanka Trump pumps are on sale at Nordstrom for $99.)

Just to back up a little bit — why, you may be asking, should the intern not wear these shoes to meetings and networking events?  [Read more...]

Filed Under: Basics, Internships/Summer Jobs, Interviewing, Just Starting Out, Professionalism, Shoes, Style, Wear to Work

How to Do the Work You’re Not Ready For

03/14/2013 By 45 Comments

how-to-do-work-youre-not-ready-forWhat do you do when your boss gives you work that is beyond your skill level? Reader C asks a great question…

How do you handle a situation when you’re asked to do a task you’re definitely not ready for? I am a newly admitted lawyer in my first job out of law school and I have been doing mostly doc review for 6 months, only within the past 2 weeks have I started doing substantive legal work. My boss asked me to cover a meeting he could not attend. The purpose of which was to allow non-lawyers within the agency to play “ask the lawyer” (me) about general legal questions accumulated over the past month. I am unfamiliar with the legal material and do not have time to prepare. I told my boss I didn’t feel I could competently answer the questions in the allotted time and asked if we could reschedule. Did this make me seem incapable, weak, etc.?

This seems timely, especially since I just read an article with Marissa Mayer where she noted that she never felt ready for any of the work that she did. From the article:

“I always did something I was a little not ready to do,” she said last year while speaking on her best decisions in a talk with NPR Correspondent Laura Sydell. “That feeling at the end of the day, where you’re like, ‘what have I gotten myself into?’ I realized that sometimes when you have that feeling and you push through it, something really great happens.”

So how do you do the work you’re not ready for?  How do you figure it out without screwing up?  I hope that this can be a great thread where we share stories and advice for one another.  Here are some tips, both for Reader C and for other women in this situation.  (And let me just say, I totally get why Reader C was hesitant about this meeting — it sounds like a minefield.)  That said… [Read more...]

Filed Under: Career, Intense Work Period, Professionalism, Success, Transitions, Work Styles

When Can You Buy an Expensive Handbag?

03/12/2013 By 152 Comments

when-can-you-buy-an-expensive-handbagWe’ve talked about how a $9,000 handbag might be a bit much for an intern — but Reader E wonders when in your career women can buy expensive briefcases and work totes.  How soon is too soon?

I was wondering if you could do a post about expensive handbags for work. Kind of like the Hermes post, but a little bit of a different situation. I’m graduating law school this spring and will be working in a large law firm in the Fall. I want to purchase the Celine mini luggage bag with money I made as a summer associate, but I’m wondering if it’s inappropriate, since the bag costs around $2700. I’d get it in the plain black color. I don’t think it’s nearly as recognizable as the Birkin you discussed (I doubt most people know what it is), but it IS an expensive purchase for someone just starting their career. What do you think for a new associate? The only logo is a small imprint of Celine Paris on the front of the bag.

Great question.  To review: back in 2010, a reader wrote in to ask whether she could carry her Hermes Birkin bag around her law internship.  Considering she was still in school (and didn’t have the job yet), a Birkin bag — which generally costs about the price of a small car — seemed a bit much.  Specifically, back then I worried that the message the intern was sending was that she was rich, and not working for the money.  Since that email, I’ve come up with a rule of thumb:  if you haven’t made enough in paychecks to both pay your rent and buy the bag, you probably shouldn’t bring the bag to work.  So Reader E — who’s already made the money — would be well within my little rule of thumb.  (Pictured:  Celine – Luggage.  N.B.: Overstock has a few Celine Luggage bags on sale for as low as $1960.)

But I think there are other important differences between Reader E and the Birkin-toting intern: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Bags, Briefcases/Totes, Just Starting Out, Looking Young, Professionalism, Shopping

How to Show Your Secretary You Appreciate Her

03/07/2013 By 77 Comments

how-to-show-your-secretary-you-appreciate-herReader L has a great question about how to show her appreciation for a new secretary who’s doing a great job:

I’m a young associate at a new firm and a few times recently, my secretary has helped me put together and file huge motions. Of course such filings are always done up against tight deadlines , so my secretary has stayed late to do this. What’s an appropriate way to show her how much I appreciate this? I barely know her and am much younger, so I don’t feel comfortable inviting her out to lunch. I rarely take a lunch break anyway. We have coffee, tea, etc. in the office, so bringing her a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts coffee tomorrow, doesn’t seem much of a gesture. I don’t want to buy her a gift, I just want to do something thoughtful to show how much I appreciate her help. Any ideas?

This is a great question — I’ve had older secretaries myself and I know how difficult it can be to strike the right tone!  We’ve shared stories about great support staff, discussed how to use administrative assistants, and talked about what to get secretaries for holidays — but we haven’t talked about small gestures of thanks for staffers.

- You’re new, she’s been helpful — make the time to take her to lunch!  [Read more...]

Filed Under: Being a Boss, Career, CoWorker Problems, Just Starting Out, Professionalism, Work Styles