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What To Do When Your Boss Has It Out For You

05/09/2013 By 80 Comments

what to do when your boss hates you.indexedHow can you avoid getting fired when your boss has it out for you? In general, how can you deal with horrible bosses? Reader M has a good question:

I know you’ve covered things like workplace etiquette and tips on dealing with co-workers, but do you have any suggestions on how to deal with horrible bosses? A friend of mine has been having issues with a boss (male, if that matters) who has been bullying her recently through means of intimidation, threatening her position in the workplace, and embarrassing her in front of clients. With a downward spiraling economy and many people being laid off, what is the best approach to dealing with someone who is looking for a reason to fire you?

Ouch. I’m sorry for your friend, M! Vivia Chen at The Careerist just covered what to do when you’re getting fired, so this seems timely to me.  Everyone has a lousy manager at some point in their life, some of whom actually hate you.  I once clashed so badly with a superior that she actually threw a redweld at my head (yep, Professional was her middle name); I’ve fortunately blocked out most things about that time in my life beyond the fact that I woke up, every day, to Whitney Houston’s song, “It’s Not Right, But It’s Okay.“  You will get out.  Here are some tips for the friend with the bad boss:
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Filed Under: Professionalism, Transitions, Work Styles

How to Do the Work You’re Not Ready For

03/14/2013 By 45 Comments

how-to-do-work-youre-not-ready-forWhat do you do when your boss gives you work that is beyond your skill level? Reader C asks a great question…

How do you handle a situation when you’re asked to do a task you’re definitely not ready for? I am a newly admitted lawyer in my first job out of law school and I have been doing mostly doc review for 6 months, only within the past 2 weeks have I started doing substantive legal work. My boss asked me to cover a meeting he could not attend. The purpose of which was to allow non-lawyers within the agency to play “ask the lawyer” (me) about general legal questions accumulated over the past month. I am unfamiliar with the legal material and do not have time to prepare. I told my boss I didn’t feel I could competently answer the questions in the allotted time and asked if we could reschedule. Did this make me seem incapable, weak, etc.?

This seems timely, especially since I just read an article with Marissa Mayer where she noted that she never felt ready for any of the work that she did. From the article:

“I always did something I was a little not ready to do,” she said last year while speaking on her best decisions in a talk with NPR Correspondent Laura Sydell. “That feeling at the end of the day, where you’re like, ‘what have I gotten myself into?’ I realized that sometimes when you have that feeling and you push through it, something really great happens.”

So how do you do the work you’re not ready for?  How do you figure it out without screwing up?  I hope that this can be a great thread where we share stories and advice for one another.  Here are some tips, both for Reader C and for other women in this situation.  (And let me just say, I totally get why Reader C was hesitant about this meeting — it sounds like a minefield.)  That said… [Read more...]

Filed Under: Career, Intense Work Period, Professionalism, Success, Transitions, Work Styles

How to Show Your Secretary You Appreciate Her

03/07/2013 By 77 Comments

how-to-show-your-secretary-you-appreciate-herReader L has a great question about how to show her appreciation for a new secretary who’s doing a great job:

I’m a young associate at a new firm and a few times recently, my secretary has helped me put together and file huge motions. Of course such filings are always done up against tight deadlines , so my secretary has stayed late to do this. What’s an appropriate way to show her how much I appreciate this? I barely know her and am much younger, so I don’t feel comfortable inviting her out to lunch. I rarely take a lunch break anyway. We have coffee, tea, etc. in the office, so bringing her a Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts coffee tomorrow, doesn’t seem much of a gesture. I don’t want to buy her a gift, I just want to do something thoughtful to show how much I appreciate her help. Any ideas?

This is a great question — I’ve had older secretaries myself and I know how difficult it can be to strike the right tone!  We’ve shared stories about great support staff, discussed how to use administrative assistants, and talked about what to get secretaries for holidays — but we haven’t talked about small gestures of thanks for staffers.

- You’re new, she’s been helpful — make the time to take her to lunch!  [Read more...]

Filed Under: Being a Boss, Career, CoWorker Problems, Just Starting Out, Professionalism, Work Styles

How to Nap at Work

02/25/2013 By 43 Comments

how-to-nap-at-workDo you nap at the office?  What are your best tips for napping at the office (possibly without getting caught)?  We took a poll on office naps a thousand years ago, but haven’t really discussed since then, and I thought it might be an interesting topic.

First, some factoids from the Internet — according to Inc., researchers concluded in 2010 that “napping can improve the brain’s ability to retain information, noting that a middle-of-the-day reprieve ‘not only rights the wrong of prolonged wakefulness but, at a neurocognitive level, it moves you beyond where you were before.’”  More and more offices are adding nap rooms (or buying “sleep capsules,” which give you a bit more privacy).  (On the flip side, as Salary.com notes, some companies still consider it grounds for firing – know your office!)  For the DIY-nappers, there’s even a fully funded Kickstarter campaign for a pillow that gives you a “micro environment in which to take a comfortable power nap” (pictured — you can now buy the pillow for $99). Apparently, in Japan napping is so popular among top executives that there’s an entire culture around it.  It’s important to note that napping is not necessarily “sleeping” — and even if you normally take 30+ minutes to fall asleep at night you can reap the benefits.  According to Lifehacker, Pzizz is a new tool that can help you “learn” to power nap (and help with nighttime insomnia too).

So, ladies — do you nap at the office?  Is there a nap room or other space available for napping, and do you actually use it?  Have you picked up any tips or tricks (signs on the door, special messages for your secretary, etc) that makes napping at work easier? [Read more...]

Filed Under: Energy, Intense Work Period, No Time, Personal Care, Productivity, Professionalism, Sleep, Stress, Work Styles

OMG, LOL!!! How to Convey Tone In Email Without Seeming Childish

02/14/2013 By 111 Comments

How do you convey tone in email without seeming childish or girlish?  Can you ever use exclamations in emails?  Reader C wonders…

I’m hoping you can address the issue of using !’s in emails at work. As we all know, tone is hard to convey properly via email. However, whenever I am inclined to use an ! to convey a positive tone, I get the sense that it actually reads as childish or immature. I also never seem to notice men using !’s in emails, either…. I’d love to hear yours and others thoughts on this!

Outstanding question, and I can’t wait to hear what readers say.  A lot has been written about overuse of exclamations in emails — with some people even suggesting that one exclamation mark per email is a good rule to follow.  There’s even an app to help you check the tone of your email!  My best general advice is that abbreviations, multiple punctuation marks (!!!), and overly casual phrases (“amazeballs!”) have no place in professional emails.   Beyond that, I think a lot of this depends on why you want to use a positive tone.  For example: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Being Girly, Business Etiquette, CoWorker Problems, Professionalism, Social Media, Tech, Work Styles

Dazed and Confused: How to Help a Coworker Present Herself Better

09/13/2012 By 71 Comments

How do you help someone present herself well, without insulting her personality and other innate qualities? Reader A wonders…

I work at a pretty low-key office and am friendly with the other associates I work with. Recently, my partner (who I’m also close with) mentioned off-handedly that she wondered if, as a friend, I could help K (a lower-level associate I’m friendly with) with the way she presents herself in meetings and office interactions. K is super smart—which my partner knows and has also repeatedly told her/coached her—but she walks around dazedly, she takes a long time to answer questions, and in general, just seems a little out to lunch. My theory: She never wears her glasses or contacts, so she can’t see—which translates into her looking kind of dazed in meetings. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or seem like I’m pulling rank, and I’m just wondering if you or any readers have experienced something like this—I do want to help her, I know she’s smart, and I feel like she has no idea how badly she’s coming across to others.

Ouch. I think this is a great question, and I’m dying to hear what the readers say, because I don’t really have much. I think there are people who, for better or worse, seem to go through life dazed and confused (the fictional Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter immediately comes to mind). Obviously, not all of these people ARE dazed and confused — I know some brilliant people (including some very successful ones) who dance to the beat of their own drummer. I’ve always thought that a lot of these traits were innate personality characteristics, and I think the people who’ve succeeded (despite?) those traits got in great situations where they were understood and encouraged by their superiors. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, Career, CoWorker Problems, Professionalism, Work Styles