So here’s a fun question:  how has your skincare routine changed through the years?  For the older readers, when did you notice that you needed to add a little “somethin somethin” to your routine?  Do you think particular brands matter, or is it just important to do something?  (For example: does a particular brand of eye cream work better than the others, or does your eye area just need extra moisture and any eye cream will work as long as you’re consistent?)  (Pictured:  wrinkles – part I, originally uploaded to Flickr by kroszk@.)

For my $.02:  For the most part, my skincare routine is roughly the same as it was when I first settled onto it at as a pre-teen.  Most mornings, I wash my face with Basis, and (once I’m out of the shower), I follow up with a light moisturizer with SPF in it (usually Neutrogena’s basic one sans retinols, but I’m still finishing a container of Kimberly Sayer that I bought during my pregnancy because it had proper zinc oxide instead of chemical SPF).  Things I’ve added over the years:

• Around age 25 I tried an exfoliant with beta-hydroxy acid in it and noticed that people immediately started complimenting me on my “glowing” skin; since then I have tried to use one once or twice a week.  (Annoyingly they keep discontinuing whichever one I like — my pet theory is that perhaps research is moving so fast that the skincare companies keep coming up with new, better products.)  I kept reading that you aren’t supposed to use retinols while pregnant, so for that time period I used an exfoliating glove and/or St. Ives Olive Scrub.  I’m in the market for a new exfoliant right now, actually.  Occasionally I’ll buy a moisturizer with anti-aging ingredients in it (such as Neutrogena’s Healthy Skin or Age Defense) and use that once a week instead of my regular, plain moisturizer.
• Also around age 25 I started buying special eye cream, mostly for when I get out of the shower but occasionally for before I go to bed at night. Right now I’m using Clinique All About Eyes, but I’ve used Aveeno’s in the past.  I’m wondering if, at 35, it’s time to splurge on some eye cream, and get Creme de la Mer or perhaps the Caudalie one.
• Before bed I try to apply a special lip cream.  My all-time favorite is Caudalie’s, but I also like the new Neosporin one (which I originally bought for my husband!).
• Before bed I remove my eye makeup, but don’t wash my face unless I’ve been wearing foundation (which is next to never).  If I do wash my face I remoisturize.  Right now I love the Neutrogena cream remover.

- Stuff I no longer do:  Toner/astringent.  I used this a lot during my teen years but don’t any more because it seemed too drying.  I also used to use a lip exfoliant pretty regularly, which I almost never do now — it may be because I tend to wear lighter glosses and tints instead of heavier lipsticks, but it may also be because of my nighttime lip routine.

I also never try new products unless I’m in the market for something particular — I credit my generally good skin to my consistent routine (and good genes).  As you can tell, I’m a big fan of drugstore skin products.

How about you guys — what is your skincare routine like?  How has it changed over the years? 

A recent SNL episode featured a fictional campaign advertisement for a mayoral candidate.  The character, Glenda Okones (played by Kristen Wiig),  listed her flaws, including her reputation for being harsh and cold.  “Here’s why,” she said:  “I just have a naturally frowny face. Not ugly, but certainly severe looking.”

Ah, perfect, I thought: an opportunity to talk about bitchface.

I’ll admit: the main reason we haven’t talked about it before is because I didn’t want to use bad words in the headline of the post!  But I think this is something that can affect a professional woman’s career, and something we should talk about.

Now I admit, wholeheartedly, that I have a naturally frowny face.  A reader once remarked that in my videos I’m always super smiley — it’s primarily because I end up looking super annoyed if I’m not.  (If I have time I’ll have to dig out some scrapped footage from the Lancome sponsored post — I couldn’t believe the video editors got so much usable footage of me looking serious because when I sent it in I worried I just looked bitchy.  Here:  me, serene but not smiling , versus me, actually pissed off.) I think most times it doesn’t matter.  After all, if I’m talking with people they can usually tell that I’m not super annoyed, and if I’m not talking to people (such as if I’m just walking down the street), I don’t really care what you think of me.

That said, I can think of at least one time this trait affected me professionally.  A few years ago I was part of a very small trial team in federal court in Philadelphia.  After a few days of trial, I grew weary of the high calorie, rushed lunches my colleagues ate, and so I excused myself and ducked out to the Subway across the street… and promptly found myself in line, in a very small shop, with all of the female members of the jury.  The first thought that went through my mind was panic — should I turn and walk out?  (I stayed. Which, looking back, was probably the wrong decision.)  Would they recognize me?  (Of course they would — it was an empty courtroom every day except for the lawyers, jury, judge, and occasional witness.)  Should I try to make conversation?  Compliment someone’s bag?  Talk about the sandwich I was looking forward to?  (I decided not to speak unless spoken to.)

Having made all these difficult decisions in the space of about two seconds, I was left standing there wondering what to do.  I didn’t want to fiddle with my phone or Blackberry — they might see some private conversation or think I was self-absorbed.  I realized that, no matter what they thought of my case, my fellow attorneys, or my behavior during the trial, I wanted them, above all else, to not think I was a total bitch.  I didn’t want it to come up in the jury deliberation room — “oh, the side with those stuck-up New York lawyers?” — and I didn’t want it to come up in the back of their minds.  In fact, never in my life had I wanted to look so approachable, so reasonable, so likeable, as I did in those few minutes… and that includes the first time I met my future in-laws.

What I wound up doing was studying the menu — like I had never been to a Subway before in my life! — and doing my very, very best to think happy, contented thoughts.  I thought of my then-boyfriend (now husband), and our upcoming trip to Paris.  I thought of a great sale that I’d been to a week or so before.  I thought of a funny inside joke my brother and I have shared for the past 25 years or so.  And then I ordered my sandwich (being extra careful to say please and thank you), and got the heck out of that Subway shop.

Ever since that Subway experience, I’ve wondered about bitchface.  Can it really affect you professionally?  I can imagine that I probably looked like a bitch when I was taking notes in all of my classes, particularly the classes where I wasn’t engaged — did teachers think less of me because of my naturally frowny face?  In interviews, many people say the first impression, such as seeing someone in a waiting room, is what matters — should I always attempt to “think happy thoughts” during those time periods?  Does it matter that this is one of those peculiar female problems — for example, how many male politicians and trial lawyers tell themselves to think happy thoughts during their moments in repose?

Readers, what do you think?  Do you think you have a naturally frowny face — and how has it affected your professional life? 

I don’t know about you, but I end up pulling my hair back a lot in the winter — the frizz, the hat hair, etc., etc. I always used to keep a few bobby-pins and other pretty hair supplies in my office so I could pull it back once I got into work, but I never made it all day in any one up-do because it started to hurt. It even feels weird to write that — your hair hurting you — because I’ve never seen anyone talk about it in magazines, but after an hour or two my head and scalp would start to hurt, and I always seemed to end up with a headache. Probably the longest I’ve ever made it in one updo was while carrying out bridesmaid duties, and I remember vividly getting home each time and ripping out the hundreds and hundreds of bobby pins (or so it seemed) stuck in my hair. Ahhh… relief! (Pictured: A Gibson Roll, from the tutorial by A Cup of Jo.)

So the notion that you could wear an up-do in a “looser” way was, amazingly enough, a game changer for me. I was puttering around on the Interwebs and found this tutorial by style blogger Keiko Lynn. In it, she talks about how she does her trademark messy bun, and — shocker of shockers — how she pulls her hair back tightly into a ponytail and then “loosens it” by pulling her hair forward a bit before tightening the ponytail holder. It makes more sense when she explains it, promise (it’s nearly all the way at the end of her tutorial).

Anyway, for some reason this never occurred to me — a “looser” updo — and so now I feel like I should revisit almost all of the updos I’ve tried over the years and try them again. Another blogger, Joanna Goddard at A Cup of Jo, has a few cute ones that might be good for the office, including the Gibson Roll (pictured at top) and a Chestnut Bun. On the weekends, I’ve also been experimenting with braided looks (a bit like this, though pulled back into a bun), although I’m not sure whether they feel 100% office appropriate to me or not (or, ha, whether I’m too old for the look or not).   I’m still playing with the Goody Spin Pins beloved by so many readers, and I have only failed miserably while attempting a sock bun (I think I have too many layers to make it work, boo).

Readers, what up-dos do you do for the office? Do you think some of the popular looks right now, such as braids and topknots, are appropriate for work?

If you’re looking for a simple way to “clean” your look up for the holidays, one thing I always do is to get my eyebrows done.  I was reluctant for years (years!) to get any professional eyebrow maintenance, but I’m here to tell you that, when done right, it cleans up your face oh-so-subtly, and makes you look more refined and elegant.  I also think that if you wear glasses frequently (as I do) it puts even more emphasis on your brows to be perfect.  For example, one of my brow’s arches goes much higher than the other, and it’s really noticeable when I wear my glasses, I think because there’s a straight line to gauge how far apart/even things are on your face.  (This sounds crazy, but I swear it’s true.)

I’ve tried plucking them myself, shaping, waxing, and threading, and personally I prefer threading — the look is sharper and more uniform, and while the pain is more intense than waxing the experience is generally shorter — much better for a busy day.  I’ve paid anywhere from $9-$20 for threading, and $9-22 for waxing, so the price is about the same.  The first few times I got them done I wound up paying $60 (!!!) but I suspect the woman I went to would call herself a “shaper” since she both plucked and waxed my brows.  But she cost so much more ($60) and took an hour, so I’d much rather take my quick and cheap threading, thankyouverymuch.

I’ve posted some brow-only pictures below the jump, for those who care to see…

I started plucking my brows in high school, encouraged by one of my frenemies who suggested I do it. Hate to admit it, but she was right — here’s a picture of my brows probably from around the time I started plucking them.  (Let’s ignore the overdose of brow pencil. Sigh.)

I always hated that over-plucked look, though, so I was careful to be judicious in my plucking. Here’s another shot of me before I started handing it over to the professionals. (This was before a friend’s wedding, hence the sparkly makeup.)

It wasn’t until 2008 or so when I thought to have them done professionally. This was in part from a girl I knew through work (another frenemy, oddly enough) who encouraged all of the girls at work to use her “brow specialist,” and even worked out a deal with a local salon to let “her” girl come downtown and do all of our brows. I didn’t know it then, but this was fantastically expensive for essentially a wax job: $60. Anyway, here’s the first time she did my brows.  I was surprised that she plucked from the top of my brow — I had always read that you should ONLY pluck from the bottom side.  Sadly I think for my brows it does make a big difference!

I first tried threading a few months before my wedding: I’d read good things about it and wondered how it would go. The look tends to be much more angled than a waxing because of the way it’s done — the thread creates a straight line. This is actually a picture from my wedding day; I’m sure I had my brows done about a week or so before the wedding, almost certainly at the Shobha salon in NYC’s Soho.  (While on the pricier side, this is a great way to give threading a try if you’re scared — it’s much more of a salon experience than the $9 places.  One of my favorite cheaper places is Yuva Threading Salon.

Readers, do you wax, thread, pluck, or just go au naturel for your brows?  Are you religious about it?  Any favorite spots?

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So a few weeks ago there was this survey: more makeup makes you look more competent. Or so they say. This seems like exactly the kind of thing we should explore here… hence today’s open thread.

So here are some of the pictures they showed to test subjects. And I thought I’d share my thoughts (I typed these specifically for the first row, but really they sort of apply across the board).
- Picture 1: Aww, is she a college student on summer break? (Which is really interesting, because while we’ve talked about young women feeling unprofessional if they’re not wearing makeup, it isn’t a bias I generally think I have.)
- Picture 2: Meh. No opinion. She doesn’t look very friendly.
- Picture 3: Ok, if I were this chick, this is probably the amount of makeup that I’d be comfortable wearing on a daily basis, at least at the beginning of the day. That said, does it affect how I feel to look at her as a potential colleague? I suppose it does, but it comes back to me — she and I both feel comfortable putting the same amount of work into our makeup and outfits, so we must have similar/same outlooks on life. Great!
- Picture 4: This is the “glamorous” look. Maybe I’ve been hanging out with fashion bloggers too long, but she doesn’t look particularly glamorous to me. She looks kind of like the villainous boss in a movie. Is it because of the makeup? Because of the darker brows and lighter hair? The expression? This is also interesting, because according to the study, “women in glamorous makeup were found to be less trustworthy.”

The thing that I kept thinking while looking at the pictures, though is this:  expressions are huge.  I’ve worked with a lot of young newbies starting their first job, and thinking back to that first meeting, whatever impression I had of them was formed not through abstract things (like their makeup, or even their clothes) but rather their expressions.  If someone comes into your office, plops down and gives you the dead stare seen in each of the 12 pictures:  you curse the hiring department.  Whereas, if she’s eagerly listening to what you’re assigning, and maybe even suggesting other avenues for research or development — it doesn’t matter if she’s wearing buckets of makeup or not, you think, WOW, it’s gonna be great to work with her.

So let’s take it back to the realm of photographs.  Would you want to work with her based ONLY on her picture?  Honestly, I wouldn’t want to work with any of the women in this photo — they all look humorless, tired, and a bit wary.  I’ve advised this for corporate photos, and I’ll advise it again here:  your resume and your achievements are usually posted alongside your photo, so the main thing your photo needs to convey is friendliness.  Forget “smize-ing” (as Tyra would say) or trying to give some smoldering look of sheer intelligence… just look like someone trustworthy, responsive, and friendly — the kind of person you’d want at the other end of a phone line if you’ve got a problem.

I’m not saying that makeup doesn’t matter — but I think it speaks to judgment calls you make.  The woman in the third row — her first picture makes her look tired, weary, as if she is so overworked and overstressed that it is all she can do to get a shower in and show up at the office on time.  Her fourth picture (with the heavy lipstick) makes her look high maintenance, even vain, to me, because I know how much work maintaining that dark perfect lip must take. Women wearing the completely wrong color of lipstick similarly get dinged — they look like they haven’t done a self-assessment in a while.

I don’t know (um, obviously): readers, what do you think?  What do you think about the women in the photographs? And do you think those thoughts translate to makeup… or that the bigger thing you’re evaluating in the photos is the expression?  Do you take anything away from the study re: how much makeup to wear for the office?

What nail polish colors are acceptable in a conservative office? It has been ages since we visited this subject, so I thought we should revisit. For my $.02, I really think your fingernails should be limited to the pinks and beiges… possibly entering the reds and purples family. If I were in a daring mood, I might try to get away with the “it” color of the season (which I believe, this season, is Chanel’s silvery-gray Graphite) — but I suspect any other color really is going to cause people to notice your fashion sense, and probably not in a good way. (Pictured: Colorful argyle nails, originally uploaded to Flickr by borispumps.)

But that’s just my $.02 — readers, let’s hear what you think…

Hat tip to Fashion Prospectress for this one: Sephora is having their 20% off Friends & Family sale (go here for your code; deal ends 11/2) and there are a ton of great basics, as well as gift sets (perfect for the holidays!). I like this kit that takes you through two looks: a natural eye and a smokey eye. This one is for brown eyes, but they also have them for blue and green eyes. The kit is $28 at Sephora. SEPHORA COLLECTION Pro Lesson Palette: Brown Eyes ($65 Value) Pro Lesson Palette: Brown Eyes

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Can natural, kinky hair be a professional look for women of color? We’ve talked about long hair, blonde hair, even no hair — but we haven’t truly talked about this. Accordingly, I’m thrilled to introduce Patrice Yursik, the blogger behind Afrobella, where natural hair is a regular topic. (It was not so long ago that some women — even fashion magazine editors! — professed that natural hair was a “don’t,” so I’m curious to see what readers say here.) – Kat

There are so many things to consider when beginning a new job. Will you be able to live up to expectations at work? What will your new coworkers be like? What should you wear? And what about your hair — how should you wear it to the office? Hair might not seem like an issue worth seriously worrying about, especially if you’re born with naturally straight tresses. However for many women around the world with naturally curly hair, there can be deeper issues at play. You might encounter old fashioned and unfortunate attitudes about office appropriate hairstyles. And if you’re a woman of color who wants to wear your hair as it naturally grows out of your head, things can be even more complicated. (Photo credit: stevendepolo.)

Kat sent me this email from O as an example of the dilemma:

I truly believe in always looking your best. I will soon be starting a job at a midsize business casual law firm in NYC which only has one other woman of color, and no men of color to speak of. As a black female in the corporate setting, an issue that always comes up is our hair. Currently, I have a “natural”, but often change up my style depending on my mood. I go from twists to wigs. Lately I have been sporting a short styled wig, which gives me some sass, and must say looks great. However, this summer, I want to be carefree, and embrace my natural kinky hairdo. I would have what you would call a mini afro. However, I am curious of the reaction that I might receive from others at the firm. Trust me, I know how to play the game, and have been playing the game all my life. I am wondering what the other seasoned women of color out there have done with their hair, have they received crazy looks, and am I making something out of nothing.

Reader O, congratulations on your new position! And congratulations on embracing your hair’s natural texture. It isn’t always an easy decision to stick to. My blog, Afrobella.com, is all about celebrating natural hair. In the course of five years blogging about this topic and interviewing women from around the world who have gone natural, I’ve come to realize that it takes courage.

Embracing your natural, kinky hair can mean going against your family’s wishes. It can mean dealing with insensitive comments from friends, and it can mean having to deflect ignorance at the workplace. And yes — as covered in this recent CNN article, sometimes it comes with unsolicited attempts at hair touching. I’ve experienced all of the above. In your personal life, you can give a snappy answer to a stupid hair question. In a corporate workplace…not so much. But as your circumstances would have it, I doubt you’ll have to worry much about dealing with “crazy looks.”

You describe your new workplace as a “business casual law firm in NYC.” Please feel free to e mail me and let me know if I’m wrong when you’ve been there for a little while, but I’m going to go ahead and predict that the reception to natural hair in your corporate environment will be politically correct and welcoming. New York City is a mecca for natural hair, and while many women of color there do use heat, relax their hair or wear wigs and weaves to achieve a straight look, there are many, many women who rock their natural hair to corporate jobs and are making names for themselves in the Big Apple.

You mentioned that you enjoy a variety of hairstyles including wigs, but be aware that constant switching of your hairstyle might encourage your colleagues to comment on your changed appearance or ask questions about your hair. In general, I’ve found that my reaction can shape the outcome of these hair question exchanges entirely. I am the type who enjoys a good teachable moment and doesn’t mind answering respectful and well meaning hair questions. However, if you’re not inclined to be the office’s question-and-answer afro ambassador, keep your answers to any and all hair-related questions friendly but brief. Carefully deflect personal conversation to relevant work-related topics. The asker will eventually get the hint.

Carolyn Edgar

For Naturally Professional, a monthly interview series on Afrobella.com and CurlyNikki.com, I recently featured Carolyn Edgar, a stunning woman with beautiful locks, who works as Vice President and Legal Counsel for The Estee Lauder Companies. She knows professional women in every imaginable field, who wear their hair naturally and are well respected for their talents. Carolyn also pointed out that most often, we expect judgment from others because of our own fears and past experiences. “It turned out no one cared what I did with my hair, as long as it was neat. That doesn’t mean people didn’t notice, or ask questions. But I have never been reprimanded, ‘talked to,’ or discriminated against because of my hair,” she said. Carolyn also pointed out that concern about hair texture in the office isn’t solely a black female issue. Black men can face a different experience and find more judgment about their hair choices, particularly in corporate environments. Also white women with curly hair often also feel a pressure to straighten their hair so as to appear “professional.” “Curly-haired women of all races and cultures feel pressured to wear their hair straight and think of their own natural hair as “unmanageable.” I think all women would benefit if acceptance of our hair’s natural texture became a cross-cultural or multi-cultural conversation,” Carolyn added.

The experience a professional woman might have working in New York City is likely to be quite different from the experience other women might have across the country, particularly in areas where natural hair is not as commonplace. Another lawyer recently featured on Afrobella.com, Alycia Carter, hails from Memphis, Tennessee. According to Alycia, natural hair hasn’t held her back in the slightest. “All of the response I’ve had towards my hair in the workplace has been positive. In the professional realm, your work will speak for itself.”

When I specifically asked Carolyn Edgar about your prospects at your law firm, Reader O, she shared a similar sentiment. “As long as her hair is styled neatly and she dresses professionally, I doubt that her hair will be an issue.”

Even though I work as a full time blogger (which just might be the diametrical opposite of corporate life), I would agree with Carolyn. If you come to work looking well groomed and office appropriate from head to toe and bring your A-game on the job, the way you wear your hair should not matter. And if you do get a question or reaction to your hair, don’t let it disquiet your spirit or make you question what you bring to the workplace. You’re a lawyer, and a professional. Like you said, you “know how to play the game, and have been playing the game all [your] life.” Should you ever get a crazy look from a coworker about wearing your hair in a natural style, brush your shoulders off and continue to do your job to the best of your ability. Their reaction might reveal more about their antiquated ideas about natural beauty, than it will reflect on you and how well you fit in at the office.

Readers, what are your thoughts on natural, kinky hair at the office?  What about wigs, dreadlocks, cornrows, braids — is anything off limits in the corporate environment?

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The hunt for the perfect, clump-free mascara can be trying — are lash extensions the answer?  The first person to introduce me to this concept was Amber Katz of Beauty Blogging Junkie — we met at a PR dinner for bloggers and I couldn’t take my eyes off her lashes!  Today she’s sharing some of the most common questions she gets (both as a beauty blogger and a girl with fabulous lashes) here with us today.  Welcome, Amber! – Kat

I’m so excited to guest post today on Corporette. It’s especially apropos as I’m just “rolling off” an 8-year corporate experience fully to be 100% freelance. After 3 jobs at various financial firms ranging from suit-corporate to business casual, I’m fully versed in the magical world of staid nail polish, patent pumps and wearing hemlines that won’t cause people to call me “that girl who wears the minis” at work. Running a beauty and fashion blog by night and being a financial writer by day often caused wardrobe conundrums–anything I wore that was appropriate for my day job made me look as if I belonged at a nunnery at my post-work event. By the same token, anything I wore that was remotely fashionable and cool for a beauty launch was TOTALLY tarty for work. But one thing that was always appropriate and–dare I use this terminology–a PARADIGM SHIFT? My eyelash extensions. I started getting them in 2009 and I haven’t stopped. I tell you, corporate women of the world–this procedure while lengthy in one shot will save you an abundance of time in the morning putting on mascara and liner. You simply won’t need it for daytime. Imagine a world where you WAKE UP Starbucks ready. It’s amazing and I’m never going back to the clumpy world of mascara. However, be prepared for a metric TON of questions about your lashes. I half-joke that 87% of my conversations are lash-extension related. I’m constantly answering the same few questions from everyone to my former financial side-hustle’s CFO to the woman in front of me at Jamba Juice. Here they are:

1. What kind of mascara are you wearing?
I’m not wearing mascara. These are lash extensions.

2. Do you do it yourself every morning? How long does the treatment take?
No, I go once every 4-6 weeks to a lash technician to get them applied. The process takes about two hours. Your lashes are taped down and a lash tech glues an individual lash to each of your eyelashes so they look thicker, darker, longer and more dense. It yields the effect of liner and mascara.

3. How long does it last?
About 3-6 weeks, depending on where you go. Most places charge less the more often you get touched up.

4. Does it hurt?
It doesn’t hurt, but if your eyes are sensitive, the glue may bother you a bit. Also, it takes about a day to get used to seeing the lashes in your peripheral vision (just a tiny bit), but you get used it.

5. Is there a break-in period? Or can you go do dinner afterwards looking great?
Nope, unless your eyes are sensitive, you can do whatever you need to do right after. But be prepared: You’ll be obsessed with checking yourself out in the mirror.

6. Are there different styles of lashes?
Yes, there are “C” curls and “J” curls. I always go with the former for a more awake, curled lash look. Also, they come in different lengths. I always get “11s” with “12s” on the ends. I have no idea what this means, but it produces a ’60s effect that’s dramatic, but not too drag queeny. I have friends who get “13s” and “14s,” but even that’s a bit much for me–despite my flaming inner gay man.

7. Where do you go?
I go to Courtney Akai, who has her own lash boutique. She’s amazing, but a little pricey. Her prices range from $250-$500, depending on which technician you see. She is the absolute best. I used to go to JJ Eyelashes (about $120 for a full set) and while they’re decent, Courtney’s quality is MUCH more impressive and her lashes last about twice as long.

8. How much does it cost?
See above!

9. What’s happening underneath? Does it break off all your lashes?
I actually am not sure, as I have been reapplying them every 4-6 weeks but I do let them run down to almost nothing and I haven’t noticed that my lashes are weaker. Says Courtney, “As long as you don’t tamper with them (rub, pull, pick or play with them), you’re natural lashes won’t be shorter or weaker. ”

10. What’s involved in the procedure? Is it a single strip?
Nope, they’re individual synthetic lashes (some lash boutiques have mink ones, as well) that are glued carefully to each of your natural lashes.

11. Can you wear mascara? What about shadow and liner?
You can wear mascara, but it’s difficult to remove. Besides, why would you want to when your lashes are already dark, thick and long (the entire point of mascara)? Shadow and liner are fine to wear with extensions–just take it off with Q-tips and eye makeup remover instead of your regularly scheduled wash.

Happy extensioning!

Readers, have you ever tried lash extensions? What have your experiences been? (You can also read more about Amber’s experiences with lash extensions here!)

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I thought it might be interesting to have an open thread about some of the most stylish professional women we know personally. I would suggest we avoid names and, instead, focus on painting a picture of the women who inspire us. I also suggest that we limit this to women we know personally, not famous people — unless you see the person every day it doesn’t count.

Personally, I’m lucky to have almost too many women to inspire me! It’s funny to me that some of the most stylish professional women I know are also some of the most senior and successful women I know. Some of the stylish women I remember the most…

• When I was an assistant editor at Family Circle magazine in my early 20s, the editor in chief of the magazine was stunningly put together every day. Beautiful suits that never looked wrinkled… shoulder-length blonde hair that was somehow perfectly coiffed — it had volume and bounce and curl. She had 2 or 3 children under the age of 15, also, if memory serves — no idea how she did it.  She was an extremely intelligent woman who had interviewed for an assistant editor’s position and, when asked what her ideal job was, had said “editor in chief of this magazine” during the interview — and 15 years later, there she was.
• A female partner I used to work with also stands out in my mind. She had silver hair, just below her chin, and had a collection of eyeglasses that all had a bit of spunk to them. I remember admiring her Chanel bags and her Valentino suits — and her extremely, extremely successful career in a niche practice area. She had a very low voice, and a dry sense of humor.
• The third I’ll mention is another female partner I used to work with.  She was the first woman to make partner at the firm, and I marveled at her ability to write the most ladylike “f__ you” letters to our opponents. I remember her very simple pieces of clothing (mostly black or gray trousers, black or cream jackets, a few solid colored silk tees) and her beautiful, colorful collection of Hermes scarves. She told me once she wore the scarves because she found tags at the back of her neck to be itchy.

Looking back, I think it’s interesting that all three had some of the same things in common. For example:

• They nailed the hair. Each of these women had figured out a hairstyle that worked for her (flattering and, I’d imagine, easy to do) and she wore it that way, every day — there was no frizz, there was no sloppy ponytail or bun, and there were no “wow she’s really past her appointment to get her roots done.” Perhaps it’s a reflection of my own taste that each woman wore her hair loose, and not done up in a French twist or whatnot.
• They went for quality over quantity. I wouldn’t say that any of their wardrobes were extensive — instead, I probably saw the same pieces repeat once every two weeks or so — but they all wore quality items of clothing that fit them like a glove (nothing too tight or too loose) and were well-taken care of.
• I primarily remember the woman — not the style. Nothing was overly trendy or of-the-moment (and nothing ever seemed dated) — and her style didn’t speak louder than her words. That said, each woman took her own risks — the funky glasses, the colorful scarves — and had, I imagine, fun shopping and putting together her working wardrobe.

All right, readers, who are your real-life style inspirations? What lessons have you learned from them (tips and tricks you’ve picked up and implemented), what lessons CAN you learn from them as you think about them today?