Hair

To Try: Work-Appropriate Up-Dos

by Kat on 01/04/2012 · 68 comments

in Hair

I don’t know about you, but I end up pulling my hair back a lot in the winter — the frizz, the hat hair, etc., etc. I always used to keep a few bobby-pins and other pretty hair supplies in my office so I could pull it back once I got into work, but I never made it all day in any one up-do because it started to hurt. It even feels weird to write that — your hair hurting you — because I’ve never seen anyone talk about it in magazines, but after an hour or two my head and scalp would start to hurt, and I always seemed to end up with a headache. Probably the longest I’ve ever made it in one updo was while carrying out bridesmaid duties, and I remember vividly getting home each time and ripping out the hundreds and hundreds of bobby pins (or so it seemed) stuck in my hair. Ahhh… relief! (Pictured: A Gibson Roll, from the tutorial by A Cup of Jo.)

So the notion that you could wear an up-do in a “looser” way was, amazingly enough, a game changer for me. I was puttering around on the Interwebs and found this tutorial by style blogger Keiko Lynn. In it, she talks about how she does her trademark messy bun, and — shocker of shockers — how she pulls her hair back tightly into a ponytail and then “loosens it” by pulling her hair forward a bit before tightening the ponytail holder. It makes more sense when she explains it, promise (it’s nearly all the way at the end of her tutorial).

Anyway, for some reason this never occurred to me — a “looser” updo — and so now I feel like I should revisit almost all of the updos I’ve tried over the years and try them again. Another blogger, Joanna Goddard at A Cup of Jo, has a few cute ones that might be good for the office, including the Gibson Roll (pictured at top) and a Chestnut Bun. On the weekends, I’ve also been experimenting with braided looks (a bit like this, though pulled back into a bun), although I’m not sure whether they feel 100% office appropriate to me or not (or, ha, whether I’m too old for the look or not).   I’m still playing with the Goody Spin Pins beloved by so many readers, and I have only failed miserably while attempting a sock bun (I think I have too many layers to make it work, boo).

Readers, what up-dos do you do for the office? Do you think some of the popular looks right now, such as braids and topknots, are appropriate for work?

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On Natural Hair in the Corporate Environment

by GuestPoster on 10/06/2011 · 125 comments

in Fashion Gaffes, Hair, Professionalism, The Personal Shopper (TPS)

Can natural, kinky hair be a professional look for women of color? We’ve talked about long hair, blonde hair, even no hair — but we haven’t truly talked about this. Accordingly, I’m thrilled to introduce Patrice Yursik, the blogger behind Afrobella, where natural hair is a regular topic. (It was not so long ago that some women — even fashion magazine editors! — professed that natural hair was a “don’t,” so I’m curious to see what readers say here.) – Kat

There are so many things to consider when beginning a new job. Will you be able to live up to expectations at work? What will your new coworkers be like? What should you wear? And what about your hair — how should you wear it to the office? Hair might not seem like an issue worth seriously worrying about, especially if you’re born with naturally straight tresses. However for many women around the world with naturally curly hair, there can be deeper issues at play. You might encounter old fashioned and unfortunate attitudes about office appropriate hairstyles. And if you’re a woman of color who wants to wear your hair as it naturally grows out of your head, things can be even more complicated. (Photo credit: stevendepolo.)

Kat sent me this email from O as an example of the dilemma:

I truly believe in always looking your best. I will soon be starting a job at a midsize business casual law firm in NYC which only has one other woman of color, and no men of color to speak of. As a black female in the corporate setting, an issue that always comes up is our hair. Currently, I have a “natural”, but often change up my style depending on my mood. I go from twists to wigs. Lately I have been sporting a short styled wig, which gives me some sass, and must say looks great. However, this summer, I want to be carefree, and embrace my natural kinky hairdo. I would have what you would call a mini afro. However, I am curious of the reaction that I might receive from others at the firm. Trust me, I know how to play the game, and have been playing the game all my life. I am wondering what the other seasoned women of color out there have done with their hair, have they received crazy looks, and am I making something out of nothing.

Reader O, congratulations on your new position! And congratulations on embracing your hair’s natural texture. It isn’t always an easy decision to stick to. My blog, Afrobella.com, is all about celebrating natural hair. In the course of five years blogging about this topic and interviewing women from around the world who have gone natural, I’ve come to realize that it takes courage.

Embracing your natural, kinky hair can mean going against your family’s wishes. It can mean dealing with insensitive comments from friends, and it can mean having to deflect ignorance at the workplace. And yes — as covered in this recent CNN article, sometimes it comes with unsolicited attempts at hair touching. I’ve experienced all of the above. In your personal life, you can give a snappy answer to a stupid hair question. In a corporate workplace…not so much. But as your circumstances would have it, I doubt you’ll have to worry much about dealing with “crazy looks.”

You describe your new workplace as a “business casual law firm in NYC.” Please feel free to e mail me and let me know if I’m wrong when you’ve been there for a little while, but I’m going to go ahead and predict that the reception to natural hair in your corporate environment will be politically correct and welcoming. New York City is a mecca for natural hair, and while many women of color there do use heat, relax their hair or wear wigs and weaves to achieve a straight look, there are many, many women who rock their natural hair to corporate jobs and are making names for themselves in the Big Apple.

You mentioned that you enjoy a variety of hairstyles including wigs, but be aware that constant switching of your hairstyle might encourage your colleagues to comment on your changed appearance or ask questions about your hair. In general, I’ve found that my reaction can shape the outcome of these hair question exchanges entirely. I am the type who enjoys a good teachable moment and doesn’t mind answering respectful and well meaning hair questions. However, if you’re not inclined to be the office’s question-and-answer afro ambassador, keep your answers to any and all hair-related questions friendly but brief. Carefully deflect personal conversation to relevant work-related topics. The asker will eventually get the hint.

Carolyn Edgar

For Naturally Professional, a monthly interview series on Afrobella.com and CurlyNikki.com, I recently featured Carolyn Edgar, a stunning woman with beautiful locks, who works as Vice President and Legal Counsel for The Estee Lauder Companies. She knows professional women in every imaginable field, who wear their hair naturally and are well respected for their talents. Carolyn also pointed out that most often, we expect judgment from others because of our own fears and past experiences. “It turned out no one cared what I did with my hair, as long as it was neat. That doesn’t mean people didn’t notice, or ask questions. But I have never been reprimanded, ‘talked to,’ or discriminated against because of my hair,” she said. Carolyn also pointed out that concern about hair texture in the office isn’t solely a black female issue. Black men can face a different experience and find more judgment about their hair choices, particularly in corporate environments. Also white women with curly hair often also feel a pressure to straighten their hair so as to appear “professional.” “Curly-haired women of all races and cultures feel pressured to wear their hair straight and think of their own natural hair as “unmanageable.” I think all women would benefit if acceptance of our hair’s natural texture became a cross-cultural or multi-cultural conversation,” Carolyn added.

The experience a professional woman might have working in New York City is likely to be quite different from the experience other women might have across the country, particularly in areas where natural hair is not as commonplace. Another lawyer recently featured on Afrobella.com, Alycia Carter, hails from Memphis, Tennessee. According to Alycia, natural hair hasn’t held her back in the slightest. “All of the response I’ve had towards my hair in the workplace has been positive. In the professional realm, your work will speak for itself.”

When I specifically asked Carolyn Edgar about your prospects at your law firm, Reader O, she shared a similar sentiment. “As long as her hair is styled neatly and she dresses professionally, I doubt that her hair will be an issue.”

Even though I work as a full time blogger (which just might be the diametrical opposite of corporate life), I would agree with Carolyn. If you come to work looking well groomed and office appropriate from head to toe and bring your A-game on the job, the way you wear your hair should not matter. And if you do get a question or reaction to your hair, don’t let it disquiet your spirit or make you question what you bring to the workplace. You’re a lawyer, and a professional. Like you said, you “know how to play the game, and have been playing the game all [your] life.” Should you ever get a crazy look from a coworker about wearing your hair in a natural style, brush your shoulders off and continue to do your job to the best of your ability. Their reaction might reveal more about their antiquated ideas about natural beauty, than it will reflect on you and how well you fit in at the office.

Readers, what are your thoughts on natural, kinky hair at the office?  What about wigs, dreadlocks, cornrows, braids — is anything off limits in the corporate environment?

(L-0)

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Open Thread: Tell Us About the Most Stylish Professional Woman You Know

by Kat on 09/12/2011 · 106 comments

in Hair, Inspiration, Nostalgia, Professionalism, Success

I thought it might be interesting to have an open thread about some of the most stylish professional women we know personally. I would suggest we avoid names and, instead, focus on painting a picture of the women who inspire us. I also suggest that we limit this to women we know personally, not famous people — unless you see the person every day it doesn’t count.

Personally, I’m lucky to have almost too many women to inspire me! It’s funny to me that some of the most stylish professional women I know are also some of the most senior and successful women I know. Some of the stylish women I remember the most…

  • When I was an assistant editor at Family Circle magazine in my early 20s, the editor in chief of the magazine was stunningly put together every day. Beautiful suits that never looked wrinkled… shoulder-length blonde hair that was somehow perfectly coiffed — it had volume and bounce and curl. She had 2 or 3 children under the age of 15, also, if memory serves — no idea how she did it.  She was an extremely intelligent woman who had interviewed for an assistant editor’s position and, when asked what her ideal job was, had said “editor in chief of this magazine” during the interview — and 15 years later, there she was.
  • A female partner I used to work with also stands out in my mind. She had silver hair, just below her chin, and had a collection of eyeglasses that all had a bit of spunk to them. I remember admiring her Chanel bags and her Valentino suits — and her extremely, extremely successful career in a niche practice area. She had a very low voice, and a dry sense of humor.
  • The third I’ll mention is another female partner I used to work with.  She was the first woman to make partner at the firm, and I marveled at her ability to write the most ladylike “f__ you” letters to our opponents. I remember her very simple pieces of clothing (mostly black or gray trousers, black or cream jackets, a few solid colored silk tees) and her beautiful, colorful collection of Hermes scarves. She told me once she wore the scarves because she found tags at the back of her neck to be itchy.

Looking back, I think it’s interesting that all three had some of the same things in common. For example:

  • They nailed the hair. Each of these women had figured out a hairstyle that worked for her (flattering and, I’d imagine, easy to do) and she wore it that way, every day — there was no frizz, there was no sloppy ponytail or bun, and there were no “wow she’s really past her appointment to get her roots done.” Perhaps it’s a reflection of my own taste that each woman wore her hair loose, and not done up in a French twist or whatnot.
  • They went for quality over quantity. I wouldn’t say that any of their wardrobes were extensive — instead, I probably saw the same pieces repeat once every two weeks or so — but they all wore quality items of clothing that fit them like a glove (nothing too tight or too loose) and were well-taken care of.
  • I primarily remember the woman — not the style. Nothing was overly trendy or of-the-moment (and nothing ever seemed dated) — and her style didn’t speak louder than her words. That said, each woman took her own risks — the funky glasses, the colorful scarves — and had, I imagine, fun shopping and putting together her working wardrobe.

All right, readers, who are your real-life style inspirations? What lessons have you learned from them (tips and tricks you’ve picked up and implemented), what lessons CAN you learn from them as you think about them today?

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The Feminine Touch of Gray

by GuestPoster on 09/01/2011 · 155 comments

in Beauty, Career, Hair, Personal Care, Professionalism

Men who go gray gain an air of experience and gravitas — but women who go gray are often seen as “letting themselves go.” Why can’t we go gray too (wonders the girl who first saw gray hairs at age 26)? Today’s guest post from anonymous blogger Siouxsie Law tackles the issue. – Kat

The recent lawsuit filed by a 52-year-old woman who says she was fired over her gray hair makes me wonder whether it is okay to go just a little gray in the corporate world.

There are, of course, some women in the corporate world who have a complete head of stunning silver hair.  This, though, is only occasional.  But what is rarer yet is a woman who is partially gray.

For men it is common.  There are even products designed to let them retain some of the gray to achieve that “distinguished look.”

But this touch-of-gray look doesn’t seem to be an option for women.  Most of us start with a few gray hairs in our 30s.  And many of us choose to cover the gray completely.  We fight the line of demarcation for years, and only dare transition to completely gray when we are much older.

When it comes to going gray for men and women, there is a double standard.  Just watch the commercial for product above.  The ad features a man interviewing for a job.  When he has a head full of gray hair, he thinks he looks too old for the job.  But without the gray, he worries he looks too young and inexperienced.  Meanwhile, a much younger woman (the sexy-librarian type) is the person interviewing him for the job.   The woman doesn’t have a single gray hair on her head.

This probably isn’t too surprising.  Men are encouraged to keep some gray because on them it symbolizes wisdom and experience.  It gives them an air of gravitas.  But on women, gray is often associated with old age, and of not keeping up one’s appearance (recently, Katie Holmes’ gray strands caused a brouhaha).

But graying hair on women can look great too.  And it should be socially acceptable.  Moreover, deciding to embrace some gray at a time (and at an age) when many choose not to do so is a statement of extreme confidence.  It can be a powerful look and if done right, can be completely professional, edgy and youthful.  Plus, if you are lucky enough to start with a few gray streaks, you get the added bonus of looking beautiful and kind of punk rock.

Here are some of my favorite partially gray-haired ladies:

From left to right, Dr. Julia Gerberding (former head of the CDC), Rogue (member of the X-Men), Stacy London (host of TLC’s What Not to Wear); Lily Munster (matriarch of the Munster household); and the late Susan Sontag (author and activist).

Readers, when did you first notice gray hairs — and what have you been doing about them?  Is anyone currently rocking a gray or silver streak (or a full head of gray or silver)?

(Note from Kat: I’d love to rock a silver streak some day or even a full head of silver, but at this point the lowest maintenance option is for me to pluck the grays. I’m always amused when I find a long strand that I somehow missed.)

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Is Curly Hair Professional?

by Kat on 07/26/2011 · 208 comments

in Hair, Interviewing, Professionalism, The Personal Shopper (TPS)

Pictured: Curls 1/27/09, originally uploaded to Flickr by dianecordell.Is curly hair professional enough for interviews? Reader R writes in to ask the question, which has come up a ton of times in comments but hasn’t been discussed directly. So let’s talk about it. First, her Q:

I am 23 and interviewing for a new position. I have the suit/shoes/accessories combo set for interviews, but my problem is my hair. I have very curly (shoulder length)hair, which is made more curly because I live in the very hot, humid South. I do have any frizz under control (with a veritable arsenal of hair products), but I have had trouble deciding exactly what to do with my hair on interview. I have worn my hair both straight and curly for interviews in the past, but it takes forever to blow my hair out, and it seems like my potential new bosses should see me the way I will really look when I come to work everyday. What do you think?

This question hits near and dear to my heart because, as I’ve mentioned a few times, the older I get, the curlier/wavier my hair gets. For my $.02: There is nothing unprofessional about curly hair. It looks beautiful, and a lot of strong, professional women I know (whose style I envy!) in fact have long curls. Furthermore, I strongly believe that it takes more time and energy to FIGHT your hair’s natural texture than it does to work with it — time that, frankly, is better spent elsewhere for most women.  (Pictured: Curls 1/27/09, originally uploaded to Flickr by dianecordell.)

That said, I think a few facets of The Curly Life give women pause as to its professionalism. A lot of these are personal observations, so I’m curious to hear what my fellow curly girls will say.

a) Wet hair is not professional. My curls/waves look best if they airdry. Which means that either I have to be up and out of the shower about an hour and a half before leaving for the destination, or I show up with slightly wet hair (depending how cooperative the commute is). Most women would agree that wet hair is not professional. So if you’re going anywhere important — certainly to court, a big meeting, or an interview, or even just for your regular office look — your hair should be dry.

b) Personally, my curls are unpredictable, which means that for me I would not rely on them for an interview. Some days I’ll come out of the shower — having used the same products I used the day before, the same drying techniques I’ve used before — but something in the air that day makes them dry beautifully. And I feel like a million bucks on those days! Other days I’ll repeat the exact same techniques and come out looking like a frizzy-haired mess. I’m still working out the kinks (ha ha) to my system, but for now if I have anything important going on then I’ll probably get a professional blow-out or flatiron my hair (which is so, so much worse for your hair than a blow-out). Pulling your hair back is another option.  I totally envy those curly girls who have their systems down pat — my own curly hair system has gotten a lot better over the past year or so but it still needs tweaking.  (I’d say what I’m doing now, but it wouldn’t be a complete discussion without a list of the things that I’ve tried and rejected, which would take too long and, I suspect, not be that interesting for anyone but me!)

c)  Next-day curls are something unto themselves. This doesn’t relate to professionalism, but it does factor into time (and is one of the reasons why I will spend more time in the winter to blowdry my hair).  I’ve tried a number of products designed to “perk up” next day curls, but they all offend me in some manner — either they smell too much, they make my hair too crunchy, or they make my hair LOOK too crunchy or wet (just a spritzer filled with water seems to work best for me if I try anything).  So in the winter, when it takes forever for my curls to dry and the air is fairly dry anyway, I will spend 5-10 minutes trying to blowdry my hair straight, which is all I generally have patience for.  (I do find that anti-frizz treatments help tremendously, specifically John Frieda Frizz-Ease Hair Serum, Extra Strength Formula or Lotus Shield Frizz Control Anti-Frizz Treatment.  I’m looking forward to trying the reader-recommended John Frieda Frizz-Ease 3-Day Straight Semi-Permanent Styling Spray this fall.)  This past winter it was really easy to ride that one blowout for 2 or 3 days because I wasn’t working out (I was way too nauseous and exhausted from December to February anyway) and when I started working out again I was primarily doing workouts that didn’t work up quite a sweat… I’ll be curious to see how it goes this winter when I return to more rigorous workouts like running and my beloved Jari Love/Jillian Michaels/The FIRM DVDs.  (For the record you can run well into your pregnancy — one rockstar friend ran up 5-10K daily up to her 8th month! — but one of the first pregnancy symptoms that hit me was a real lack of lung capacity, so running was really uncomfortable.  Aerobic DVDs aren’t generally encouraged because your balance is off and your risk of falling is greater.)

Those are actually the most negative things I can come up with for curly hair — so if Reader R has her system down better than mine, I encourage her to go to the interview with her regular curly hair.  Readers, what are your thoughts on the professionalism of curly hair?  Does anyone think that curly hair, in and of itself, is NOT professional — and if so why?  For those of you with curly hair, what are your best tips for getting it consistently styled?

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Can Long, Platinum Blonde Hair Be Professional?

by Kat on 06/30/2011 · 113 comments

in Hair, Interviewing, Looking Young, No Time, Professionalism

This is a perennial question:  is long hair professional?  Reader K wonders:

I’m a law student with upcoming fall recruiting, and want advice for doing my hair for interviews. I have naturally platinum blonde hair (which is long – about 4″ below the shoulder). It makes me look younger than I am, but I don’t want to dye it or cut it short. How do I make it look professional and say, “I am not an airhead” for interviews?

I’m curious what the readers are going to have to say about this one, because we haven’t talked about long hair for the office in a long while, and I don’t think we’ve ever talked about platinum blonde hair.  (Pictured: If you’re not watching HBO’s Game of Thrones yet, I highly recommend it — the first season just ended.)

First: Is Long Hair Professional?

I know a lot of other sources say that long hair is unprofessional — it makes young women look younger, and older women are too old for long hair. Here’s my strongest argument for why long hair is totally fine:  Long hair, for some women, is the EASIEST.  It’s easiest to pull back into a professional-looking updo (French twist, bun, low neat ponytail), and it’s easiest to maintain in the morning without too much styling.  Personally, I prefer to wear my hair below my shoulders because when it’s shorter, it’s natural shape creates a “triangle head” look (which, trust me, is about as flattering as it sounds) and it requires 15+ minutes of styling in the morning (versus the 5 minutes I can get away with for longer hair, where the length and weight of my hair keeps it from creating a triangle shape).  Furthermore, I know several very established and accomplished lawyers who look gorgeous and professional with their long hair, and I can think of a lot of others in the media spotlight — in the real world think Maria Shriver or Huma Abedin; in the fictional world think Dr. Lisa Cuddy, Veronica Palmer, or Jane Bingum.

That said, there are some limits and rules to “long hair.”  My rules would be:

  • You are never, ever, ever allowed to play with it.  No twirling, no repeated smoothing of it, and certainly no absent-minded chewing or braiding of it during meetings.
  • Your hair shouldn’t be overly long.  I’ve said before that I think hair that approaches your bra strap (in the back) is too long.  I’ve gotten some pushback on that from readers, and even though I agree that longer lengths can look professional on some women, I would still use the bra strap benchmark as the “it’s time to question whether you should get a hair cut.”  For reader K, 4″ below the shoulder sounds like she might be approaching the bra strap.
  • Long hair must be maintained well — the ends should be trimmed and shaped regularly, and if you have frizziness issues you should be taking steps to combat them (conditioners, etc).

Second:  Is Platinum Hair Professional?

For my $.02, as long as it’s natural, rock out with your bad self.  I would even say that platinum highlights on dirty blonde hair are fine — I have one friend whose hair has changed from platinum to dirty blonde as she’s gotten older, and she does upkeep to keep it blonder.  On the other hand — I think it’s the rare woman who can change her hair color entirely and go platinum blonde.  Furthermore, I’d say that any dyed hair that has that crunchy, “if it’s pulled too tight it might break off” look is not professional.

Third: How Should Long Hair Be Worn for Interviews?

For the most part, I think long hair can be worn long and neatly parted for interviews.  For all those JD and MBA students going into an intense interview week, you might consider getting a blowout if your hair looks better with one — nothing too bouncy, but just simple, straight, silky hair — and then rocking that for a few days.  For interviews, I think an “I intended this” updo or half-updo is fine — think a French twist, a bun, a hair-pulled-half-back-and-bound-with-simple-barrette, maybe even a very neat ponytail with your hair wrapped around the elastic.  My only caution would be that you should avoid the “I suddenly got hot/tired of having long hair and yanked it back into a sloppy ponytail/bun with this elastic that has lived on my wrist for the past two months.”

OK — that’s my advice.  Readers, let’s hear it — what are your thoughts on long hair?  Platinum hair?  Interview hair?  Is there an age limit for longer hair?  How long is too long?

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