How do you deal with back-handed “compliments” in the office? Reader B wonders…
I am a 30 year old lawyer working in Washington, DC. My late 20’s/early 30’s professional female friends and I have experienced a strange and disconcerting dynamic amongst women in the workplace: getting negative comments from other women for being smartly/well- dressed. These outfits, I believe, would objectively be considered professional, age-appropriate, and well-fitting: tailored suits in feminine cuts, pencil skirts to the knee, or pumps with a modest heel. They would certainly be similar to those depicted on the Corporette website. The comments often take the form of backhanded compliments, such as, “That shirt makes you look soooooo thin.” They may also be cautionary, like “Wow, you had better be careful not to hurt yourself in those heels”. This feedback comes from women at a similar professional level and more senior employees. It most often comes from women whom are a generation older and seem to be, at times, more about our size and age than what we are wearing. It also seems to be more of an issue in government and non-profit environments, as we haven’t noticed it to be a problem in the private sector. How should we respond to this type of feedback? At what point should we give in to workplace pressure to dress in a more bland way versus continuing to wear clothing that makes us feel sophisticated and professional?
This issue comes up a lot, and as your friendly blogger I see both sides of it: the younger women wondering why these older women are giving them these back-handed compliments, and the older women asking me how in the world they tell someone they’re dressed wildly inappropriate for the office in a casual way. I’m curious to hear what readers think about this. [click to continue…]
Sure, we all know what basics professional women are supposed to have in their closets, but if you’re buying one for the first time or replacing one you’ve worn into the ground, it can be a pain to find exactly the right incarnation in stores. In “The Hunt,” we search the stores for a basic item that every woman should have.
I’ve gotten a few requests for suggestions for “lightweight blazers” for hot summer months, so I thought I’d round up a few for today’s Hunt. For my $.02: if you’re really going to be wearing a blazer outside or in another hot environment, linen is the way to go — it just breathes so well. Silk is another good choice, but the tradeoff for all that, um, breathing (for both linen and silk) is the mad wrinkling that occurs. Cotton holds up much better (and I always think a cotton pique fabric looks pretty but professional, while a cotton seersucker can be classic) — if you can find a linen and cotton blend, or silk and cotton blend, that may be the holy grail. Right now I’m seeing a lot of blazers with eyelet details — I honestly don’t think they’re appropriate for most conservative offices, but they can be another option if you’re attending an outdoor event. Readers, what is your favorite type of blazer to wear on hot days? Do you have any tricks to keep linen or silk from wrinkling?
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Do you have to wear pantyhose in the summer? The pantyhose-at-the-office question comes up so often, but I don’t think we’ve addressed it in a while — and Reader N wonders…
I had a question about wearing pantyhose. I’m about to start my first internship in finance (a mid-sized hedge fund) this summer and I’m really confused as to what to wear. It’ll be in London, so I don’t know if that changes business formal guidelines. Anyway, I’m 20 years old and a southern girl, and I’ve never worn pantyhose in my life. Is it really necessary to wear pantyhose with a skirt suit, even in the middle of July? I’m tempted to just wear a pant suit the first day and see what everyone else is wearing, but then I’ve heard people say that pantsuits aren’t conservative enough and I should wear a skirtsuit the first day just in case.
Obviously, I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh dear.
Congratulations on your summer internship — it sounds excellent. There is a really big range in what’s acceptable at conservative offices, and so — for my $.02 — it’s always best to get started on the right foot, which is to say the safest foot. You don’t want people’s first impression of you to be of your clothes — you want it to be of your work, your accomplishments. So for the first day — probably even the first week — I would suggest wearing: [click to continue…]
401K fees can be such a complicated topic — so when the good folks at DailyWorth offered to guest post I jumped at the chance to have someone wiser than myself cover it! – Kat
Is your 401k plan costing you too much?
Many people don’t realize that they’re being charged a fee (or fees) for participating in their 401k plan–and over time, those fees can eat up a chunk of your savings. (Pictured: Erosion Control? originally uploaded to Flickr by muffinman71xx.)
Shocked? You’re not alone. In fact, new federal rules requiring 401k plans to be more transparent about fees take effect in July — and women everywhere should sit up and take notice.
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I’ve written before about how I love to get up early because that’s my most productive time of the day — but I don’t think we’ve ever talked about how to optimize those productive hours to get the most stuff done. I have my own tricks; I’d love to hear what you guys use as well. (I usually can be focused enough without time management techniques during this time — but they can be super helpful during other times of the day. Pictured: Pomodoro Kitchen Timer for Action Logging, originally uploaded by AndyRobertsPhotos. )
1) Know what you want to do. I always find this time is best to focus on ONE THING, not a whole to-do list. I don’t even WRITE my to-do list until later in the day, to be honest. When I get up early, I do the one thing that I need/want to do, and nothing else.
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What is the best bag to carry if you walk to work? Reader A wonders…
I’ve had a bag dilemma for years and though this venue might provide a solution. I thought perhaps someone out there might have found the holy grail of bags to address the following issues, and I’m sure others are looking for the same. I would certainly love a post on this. I’m a lawyer and I walk almost two miles to work everyday. Here’s what I’m looking for:
- Big enough to carry folders, papers, occasional laptop and occasional change of clothes
-Color-neutral enough to be worn with anything for everyday use
-Professional looking
- Comfortable to carry long distances, such as a cross-body style with comfortable strap. Maybe a backpack style?
Does such a bag exist? I sure hope so.
I’ve always loved walking to work, and I’ve regularly schlepped about that distance. While there are so many benefits to walking to work (fresh air! clear head! some exercise!), I do feel like I’ve done some serious damage to my body from walking so much. [click to continue…]
