Open Thread: How to Turn Off Work Mode

turning off work mode - toastI have a question for you ladies: how do you turn off work mode? Marie Forleo had a video on this a week ago, and I haven’t stopped thinking about it ever since I saw it, so I thought it would be an interesting conversation. We’ve talked before about how to relax, as well as about juggling work and life (um: a post I finished from the postpartum ward of the hospital…), but not in a long while. I was particularly struck by this part of Forleo’s video:

When it’s time for me to shift out of work mode, I think of myself as butter and [my fiance as] the toast.  … This comfort food is best when the toast is like firm and stiff and the butter is soft and velvety and creamy and spreads all over the place.  So I know that’s a little dumb, but it actually works — it’s a really easy metaphor to remember, and it affects my physicality, it affects my voice, and I can slip into it really fast.

I’ve been thinking about this far too much — I am so not warm butter! (I’m more like cold butter if anything — barely melting, maintaining its own little form and function.) So here’s the question, guys: How do you disconnect from work? Do you have an easy metaphor to think of (or some other strategy you use) when you’re with your loved ones?

(Updating, just to be clear: this struck me as an odd analogy also, which is why I wanted to talk about it here with you guys!  As commenter cbackson noted below, the desire to not to have to be such a hard-ass when you get home from work is not a gendered one — and as other commenters note, turning off work mode can be easier for men.  Maybe this gets into shades of the weekend you – do you have a very different persona at home? How do you slip into or out of it? Or is it enough for you to create rituals (changing clothes, putting away devices) to slip out of work mode?)

(Pictured: apricot and raisin toast, originally uploaded to Flickr by penguincakes.)

How to Relax After Work | Corporette

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Which Fall TV Are You Excited About?

Fall TV for Smart Women | CorporetteWhat fall TV is everyone excited about? What shows do you think are smart, or make good TV for smart women?   Which old friends are you happy to see return, and which new shows are you psyched about? (Any other shows on Netflix or Amazon Prime worth binge watching?) 

For my $.02 — we’ve finally gotten around to binge watching season 2 of Orange is the New Black, but beyond that it’s felt a bit quiet on the TV front.  So far I have my TiVo set for

  • Galavant — My brother convinced me to add this to the list after showing me this trailer.
  • Shark Tank — as I mentioned on CorporetteMoms, I only got into this show during my maternity leave, but I’m totally obsessed with it… I feel like there are a lot of great business lessons to learn, as well as lessons about great presentations as well as negotiations.
  • Selfie — I don’t even truly understand the premise, but John Cho and Karen Gillan? Sign me up.
  • How to Get Away With Murder — looks ridiculous, but hey, sometimes ridiculous is good
  • Forever — I only added it after seeing approximately 10 billion commercials for it during the Shark Tank marathon.  (My almost-4-month-old is apparently teething and having sleep regression issues already, so I’ve been watching a ton of TV while trying to nurse him and rock him to sleep.)

We’re still watching Masters of Sex, but I’ve been underwhelmed by the second season.  I realllly want to see Outlander… but not enough to sign up for Starz.  I have no idea when The Americans comes back on, but I’m totally obsessed with the show.  (And, annoyingly, everyone I know has had a Keri Russell sighting in my neighborhood except me — grumble!)

In terms of old favorites, I guess I’m excited for Modern Family, Hannibal (how are they going to get out of that season finale?), The Mindy Project (ooh, I always forget about this show but love it), Castle, and Game of Thrones (although, like The Americans, I have no idea when that’s coming back on).  (Ditto for Mad Men, although for some reason I am preparing myself to be disappointed in the final season.)  For binge watching, I highly recommend Veep, House of Cards, Orange is the New Black, and Silicon Valley.

Ladies, let’s hear from you — what are you looking forward to? Any new shows I should definitely add to my TiVo wish list? Any old favorites I’m not watching?  (Another Q: how much tv do you watch? Do you take advantage of the ability to watch wherever and watch at the gym, the office on your lunch hour, or other places that are not your couch?)

Foot Tattoos and Interviews

How to Cover Your Tattoos for Interviews | CorporetteShould You Cover Your Tattoos for Interviews? | CorporetteShould you cover a tattoo for an interview?  What if it’s in a place that’s hard to cover — should you go the extra mile just for the interview?  Reader A wonders about her foot tattoo:

I am a 2L at a Midwestern law school and going through the interview process for next summer. I would like to build my professional wardrobe, but shoes always stump me. I have a tattoo across the top of my foot; a quote in black ink. I would like to cover it up for interviews and other conservative, professional events, but still look feminine, professional, and seasonal.

The compromise I have come up with is either wearing a pant suit with black leather booties or a skirt suit with black pantyhose and pumps. Either option is too hot for the summer and prevents me from wearing other colors.

Any advice for cute, professional shoes that would cover my ink and allow me to lighten up my wardrobe?

Great question, reader A!  I was just talking with a reporter about looking professional with tattoos, and I’m surprised we haven’t covered them since our interviewing with tattoo sleeves post a few years ago.  In general, I agree with my old advice, which is that you should a) avoid getting visible tattoos in the first place, and b) keep your tattoos covered for interviews, big/first meetings, court appearances, and more.

Here’s the thing, though: a foot tattoo is kind of hard to cover up easily.  Something to keep in mind when interviewing is that a very conservative job may require you to keep a tattoo covered almost all the time — so consider beginning as you mean to go on.  By this I mean: If you’re ok with taking the steps below on all but casual days (after you’ve gotten to know your office, of course), then great.  But if this all sounds like a lot of work and you plan to wear regular pumps or ballet flats 90% of the time, you may want to consider just leaving the tattoo exposed during part of the interview process (such as the second round of interviews), since this will weed out a lot of fit problems with your future office early on.

That said — here are some solutions for covering tattoos that may work for you if you want to wear the most conservative, safest outfit choice for an interview — a skirt suit, nude-for-you pantyhose, and comfortable pumps or flats:

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Lifting for Women

Lifting for Women | CorporetteDo you lift weights? I’ve noticed a TON of readers mentioning how weight lifting and strength training “changed their lives,” and so I thought it might be a good idea to round up some of the oft-cited resources to learn more about it, and have a discussion in one place. As I’ve mentioned before I’ve been a fan of heavy toning videos like Jari Love, but doing deadlifts or squats with serious weights is an idea I’m only getting used to now. (I’m even pondering joining a gym again!)  I thought I’d round up some of the resources most readers have recommended:

Some questions for those of you who have been doing it:  what weight ranges did you start out with — and what are you up to now? (Go ahead, brag a bit!)  Did anyone do it without a gym or trainer?  If you want to buy weights yourself, can anyone recommend a particularly good set or place to buy weights?  (Also: has anyone done video programs like Body Beast to get started?  I know in previous threads readers have recommended T25 or Ripped in 30 for body weight exercises; before I got pregnant I was working out with the bodyweight version of the Rebel Strength Guide.)

Psst: we’ve already talked about how to find time to exercise, as well as how to find a trainer you like.

Update: If you’re worried about getting too bulky, check out this blogger’s before and afters, after doing four stages of NROLFW — she’s lifting serious weights and not showing any bulk at all.

Pictured: dumbells_adjusted, originally uploaded to Flickr by jerryonlife.

Book Excerpt: Are Some Men Not Interested in “Career Women”?

Book Excerpt: Single without Kids, But Not By Choice | Corporette Are men not interested in career women?  I’m thrilled to introduce Melanie Notkin, founder of the site Savvy Auntie, and author of the new book, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of HappinessShe describes the book this way: “Otherhood is the story of so many women of my generation, the daughters of the modern feminist movement, who expected to have the social, economic and political equality our mothers didn’t have, and surely the husband and children they did. But many of us remain single and/or childless as our fertile years wane.” She shared an excerpt with Corporette: 

Jared, a divorced dad friend of mine, asked me to set him up. I acquiesced immediately; he’s a nice-looking man, early forties, works in commercial real estate. I was sure he’d be a good match for one of my friends, so I asked him what he was looking for. He prefers tall brunettes, he told me, and someone, he added, who is “down-to-earth.” This remark was curious to me. What did “down-to-earth” mean? Did he want someone who’s charitable? Someone who wasn’t materialistic? Someone who was sincere?

“I mean,” he explained when I pressed, “I don’t want someone with a fancy career like, you know, a doctor, a lawyer, or like a PR person. I want a teacher or social worker type.” Oh, I thought immediately. He wants someone who won’t threaten him. “Fancy careers” were only for men, it seemed. It begged the question: Are so-called career women really not interested in men, as is so often presumed, or are some men simply not interested in “career women”?

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What To Do When You’re Overqualified

What to Do When You're Overqualified For Your Job | CorporetteHave you ever taken a job for which you’re overqualified?  Reader C recently took a step back from her career in order to spend more time with her family, and while she likes the money and hours, she isn’t thrilled with the level of daily challenge:

I’m a midcareer professional taking a step back into a new company. I made this choice to spend more time with my family and because the pay is great. However, I miscalculated how much of a step back it was and I want to position myself for rapid advancement within the co. to a level more consistent with my capabilities by trying to highlight my strengths and experience. I find myself handling many clerical level tasks due lack of staff to delegate to and I’m often complimented on very mundane activities (“nice job organizing that meeting!”) which happen to be much more visible than my strategic responsibilities and I don’t know how to respond. I want to acknowledge the compliment but also make clear that work of that nature doesn’t reflect my full role or potential. Jokes like “you should see what I’m really capable of” are vague, not always appropriate and wear thin quickly. Any recommendations for responding to these specific comments and for positioning for future advancement?

Hmmmn.  I’m curious to hear what readers say here.  You say the pay is great, and it sounds like the work/life juggle is in alignment — so what you want is more challenging work for the hours you’re there.  A few things to ask yourself:

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