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OMG, LOL!!! How to Convey Tone In Email Without Seeming Childish

02/14/2013 By 111 Comments

How do you convey tone in email without seeming childish or girlish?  Can you ever use exclamations in emails?  Reader C wonders…

I’m hoping you can address the issue of using !’s in emails at work. As we all know, tone is hard to convey properly via email. However, whenever I am inclined to use an ! to convey a positive tone, I get the sense that it actually reads as childish or immature. I also never seem to notice men using !’s in emails, either…. I’d love to hear yours and others thoughts on this!

Outstanding question, and I can’t wait to hear what readers say.  A lot has been written about overuse of exclamations in emails — with some people even suggesting that one exclamation mark per email is a good rule to follow.  There’s even an app to help you check the tone of your email!  My best general advice is that abbreviations, multiple punctuation marks (!!!), and overly casual phrases (“amazeballs!”) have no place in professional emails.   Beyond that, I think a lot of this depends on why you want to use a positive tone.  For example: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Being Girly, Business Etiquette, CoWorker Problems, Professionalism, Social Media, Tech, Work Styles

How to De-Smell Your Office… Without Annoying Your CoWorkers

12/11/2012 By 55 Comments

Cuppa, originally uploaded to Flickr by grimescene.How do you make your office smell nice — without offending any of your coworkers or clients?  Reader P asks a great question:

I work at a law firm, and my office is pretty close to the kitchen on my floor. My office inevitably ends up smelling like food during lunch time because of people constantly microwaving their lunch. Do you, or your readers, have any suggestions for an office-appropriate air freshener that won’t smell too floral and isn’t too overpowering, but would take care of the food smells? I hate it when people walk in and my office smells like Lean Cuisine! Thank you!

I’ve advised against office fragrances in the past (in part because I think I made that mistake when I started!), and readers are always against easily-smelled perfume at the office.  (Pictured.) A few ideas… [Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, CoWorker Problems, Office Decor, Productivity

Staying Cool in a Hot Office

12/04/2012 By 55 Comments

Fan, originally uploaded to Flickr by Ryk Neethling.How do you stay cool in an overheated office? Reader L — who notes that she is nowhere near “hot flash” territory — wants some advice on working with some overactive radiators:

You’ve written about staying warm in a cold office. What about staying cool in a hot office? The weather outside is frightful, but my office feeling as hot as fire is not so delightful.

Great question, and I’m curious to hear what readers say. (Pictured.) Some tips off the top of my head:

  • Dress in layers. Obviously. You may want to particularly look into breathable fabrics like cotton, linen, and silk (which can block cold winds outside but still be comfortable inside).

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, CoWorker Problems, Layering Pieces, Office Supplies, Weather, Work-Related Pain

Dazed and Confused: How to Help a Coworker Present Herself Better

09/13/2012 By 71 Comments

How do you help someone present herself well, without insulting her personality and other innate qualities? Reader A wonders…

I work at a pretty low-key office and am friendly with the other associates I work with. Recently, my partner (who I’m also close with) mentioned off-handedly that she wondered if, as a friend, I could help K (a lower-level associate I’m friendly with) with the way she presents herself in meetings and office interactions. K is super smart—which my partner knows and has also repeatedly told her/coached her—but she walks around dazedly, she takes a long time to answer questions, and in general, just seems a little out to lunch. My theory: She never wears her glasses or contacts, so she can’t see—which translates into her looking kind of dazed in meetings. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or seem like I’m pulling rank, and I’m just wondering if you or any readers have experienced something like this—I do want to help her, I know she’s smart, and I feel like she has no idea how badly she’s coming across to others.

Ouch. I think this is a great question, and I’m dying to hear what the readers say, because I don’t really have much. I think there are people who, for better or worse, seem to go through life dazed and confused (the fictional Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter immediately comes to mind). Obviously, not all of these people ARE dazed and confused — I know some brilliant people (including some very successful ones) who dance to the beat of their own drummer. I’ve always thought that a lot of these traits were innate personality characteristics, and I think the people who’ve succeeded (despite?) those traits got in great situations where they were understood and encouraged by their superiors. [Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, Career, CoWorker Problems, Professionalism, Work Styles

The Incompetent Boss

07/05/2012 By 60 Comments

How do you handle an incompetent boss? Reader C wonders…

Corporette is my top go to blog for advice on anything career related.  I haven’t found much on dealing with an incompetent boss though.  Could you consider doing a post on how to handle a thoroughly incompetent boss? It’s almost worse than incompetent – she actually does some level of harm whenever she is involved in a meeting, on a project, etc.  (As a bonus which you may or may not want to tackle – she has 0 social intelligence, micromanages and is a chatty Kathy all wrapped into one.)

She sounds delightful!  We have talked about how to handle a chatty boss, as well as how to handle a micromanager boss, but let’s talk about the incompetent boss.

First: Figure out if this is a personality conflict between you and her.  For example, does she horde work she should have /could have given to you, and then get overwhelmed and ask you for help with it at the very last minute out of desperation?  This may stem from her lack of trust in you  — she may not want to delegate your work to you because she doesn’t trust you, so she takes on too much and has to ask you for help out of desperation at the very last minute… in which case you need to build up her trust so you can get the work done.  A few more ideas: [Read more...]

Filed Under: Career, CoWorker Problems, Professionalism, Success, Work Styles

What To Do When Your Mentor Hates You

06/14/2012 By 102 Comments

my mentor is a bitchWhat do you do when your assigned mentor is a bitch?  Reader C wonders…

I have a question about female competition in the workplace. I am a young legal assistant at a larger law firm and have had a string of disheartening interactions with a female coworker. Although she was assigned to be my mentor and we work together daily, this coworker has repeatedly refrained from telling me about social events and happy hours within our department, completed projects for clients to which I have been assigned (again, without telling me), given me incorrect information on project details and then denied it to our attorneys, cuts me off whenever we are presenting in a meeting to partners, etc. This started around the six month mark of my job. I have considered that it is simply her personality or that it is a product of female competition in the workplace. In either event, can you give me any tips or suggestions as to how to combat this? Unfortunately we work in a group and at a firm where any sort of confrontation is highly discouraged and knowing this girl she would deny away, but perhaps there is a less direct strategy I can use to handle this and discourage the behavior? Thank you!

Here’s the thing:  this person is not your “mentor.”  This woman may be the person HR is expecting to do some things, such as be a liaison between you and the higher office, or “help” you get your job off to a great start — but she isn’t an actual mentor.  I had something similar happen when I was at the law firm — my “mentor” kept calling me Kathy.  No matter how many times I corrected him, it persisted:  “Oh, hey, Kathy, let’s get lunch.”  Ugh.  I don’t think he meant me any ill will; I just don’t think he ever cared to learn my name or help me in any way. (Pictured: Originally uploaded to Flickr by TW Collins.) So what do you do?

[Read more...]

Filed Under: Business Etiquette, Career, CoWorker Problems, Professionalism, Transitions, Work Styles