Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Contrast Trip Jacket

Classiques Entier ‘Riley Weave’ Contrast Trip Jacket | CorporetteOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This week’s guest posts are from one of my best friends since college, who we’ve called Auntie M when she’s guest posted for us in the past (taking a week of TPS reports back in 2011, as well as sharing her experiences with freezing her eggs).  Welcome back, Auntie M! – Kat. 

I like this jacket. I see you wearing it to a meeting where you stand confidently in the front of the room to give a presentation or make a proposal. Your hair is sleek and pulled back, your makeup flawless, and your presentation informative, enlightening, and motivating to your team. You are wearing mostly black with this jacket, as it doesn’t need anything competing with it — a simple dark or black shell, black wide-legged trousers, and black pumps, probably in patent leather just for that extra bit of polish. This jacket will also look great when you go out for post-work drinks or dinner, congratulating yourself on a job well done. Treat yourself! You deserve it. It’s $298 at Nordstrom. Classiques Entier ‘Riley Weave’ Contrast Trip Jacket

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please [email protected]

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Comments

  1. I love this jacket! It does the ‘Chanel jacket’ thing but in a more modern way.
    Now… has anyone seen any cheaper similar ones?

    • Yay! Splurge Monday’s, and the price for this Channel Jacket is not that bad! YAY! I might think that I could get the manageing partner to reimburse for this? I think I should. And I could get it @ Nordstrom’s so I can try it on with Rosa! YAY!!!!

      Lynn just came in with Mason — I hope he is treateing her right. It would be a shame if she wound up with NOTHING after sleepeing with him all these month’s. He walk’s with a swagger — it’s as if he is telling the world he is getting SEX from her without saying so.

      BTW, the Butch guy is holdeing to his word. He was nice, and asked me alot of question’s but did NOT grab me or even hint at haveing sex. That is good b/c I am still a littel worried that that is all they want. Myrna says I am jaded, but she treat’s sex like some kind of FLOOR exercize. I am much more emotional then she is. To Myrna, a guy is just a 3 dimentional way of getting orgazzm’s. Not me. I do NOT want that way to have sex. FOOEY! I want a real MAN, not just his impliment. Beside’s, it is so messy that it has to be worth it. It never was with Alan, b/c he was drunk most of the time and he alway’s left my apartement a mess, and NEVER helped me wash the sheet’s. FOOEY on Alan. I wonder how the HIVE handel’s guy’s like this?

    • Sizing question :

      FWIW, Classiques tends to go on sale pretty consistently. When I see a CE item I like, I just add it to my Nordie’s wish list and wait to buy until it’s at least 40% off.

      • Even $180 is out of my price range for something that can’t be worn every day (which I don’t think this could), sadly – and I don’t think Nordstrom’s ships to the UK. Thanks for the information, though – I’ll definitely store it for future use!

        • I tried this on this weekend and loved it. Not sure how the Nordstrom’s/Topshop collaboration works but maybe the UK Topshop stores have this or something similar. It looks kind of hideous online, esp. as styled, but super cute in person. Fit is much more flattering than on the model, too.
          http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/topshop-freya-tile-pattern-crop-jacket/3740862?origin=category-personalizedsort&contextualcategoryid=0&fashionColor=&resultback=494&cm_sp=personalizedsort-_-browseresults-_-1_2_D

          • Wow, that is some horrific styling :) Shorts AND a midriff? Jacket does look cute though!

          • That has unfortunately disappeared off the UK Topshop site by now – I’m sure I had seen it online and dismissed it on the basis of it being short in the body (I’m tall but not leggy, so all my height is in my tors0).

            I was in Topshop a few weeks ago and heard some 15 year old girls walking around saying ‘but how could you even WEAR that with anything?’ and I thought ‘finally, it’s not just me who has that issue with Topshop!’ Occasionally, there are gems, but it’s usually a bit overly fashion-y for me.

            But if Topshop had it and has sold out… that implies the cheaper high street shops will have something similar in time, so thank you :)

      • I do the same thing, and it look like a bunch of CE just got marked down 40% :)

    • Try Ivanka Trump :) I got a nice black and white one on sale at Lord& Taylor!

    • This one from Lands End is similar (though the plaid is maybe a bit more casual and its weirdly bulky on the model – not sure how it will look in real life.)

      http://www.landsend.com/products/womens-collarless-foiled-tweed-jacket/id_246162_59?cm_mmc=CJ-_-Lands%27+End+Product+Catalog-_-1909792_2178999-_-ShopStyle.com&CJSID=974710555

      • This one from Bluefly is also cool – and it has a nice black and white print. Though the black and white and tweed is probably more fall/winter – but its on a good sale now.

        http://www.bluefly.com/nell-cream-and-black-boucle-ken-zip-blazer/PRODUCT_FEED/326684501/detail.fly?referer=ca_shopstyle&cm_mmc=ca_shopstyle-_–_-jackets-_-3266845&partner=Gate_CSE_shopstyle__jackets

        • If you’d like something more springy, I like this one from House of Frasier (which unfortunately is from a British store and I would imagine it would be expensive to ship.)

          http://www.houseoffraser.co.uk/Eastex+Turquoise+Tweed+Jacket/194592082,default,pd.html?cm_mmc=ShopStyle-_-Women-_-Coats+%26+Jackets-_-Turquoise+Tweed+Jacket&_$ja=tsid%3a45090%7ckw%3ahttp%3a%2f%2fwww.shopstyle.com%7ccgn%3a202819&awinDCS=3100_1400512966_a3ae107512439000e9ce2780db94f5e3%7c%7c0%7c%7c0%7c%7c0%7c%7c974712712&awc=3100_1400512966_a3ae107512439000e9ce2780db94f5e3&cm_mmc=AWIN-_-Deeplink-_-NULL-_-NULL&istCompanyId=17910aed-1bae-4362-9580-b523eb87a91e&istItemId=imrqpqmx&istBid=t

          • House of Frasier is the most brilliant Freudian slip ever! I’m so going to call it that in the future. The branch in my university town is an old established department store that they bought up so it still has its old name (Like Jenners in Edinburgh, which is famous).

          • I have to admit, I’m a bit confused. I mean, I see I included an extra i in there, but here in the US those are both alternative spellings of the same name (plus Frazier.) Am I missing a good joke here? I would love to say I was clever on purpose, but that would be quite untrue.

          • Wildkitten :

            Really? Cuz over here in the US that’s a TV show – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frasier

          • Well, sure, there’s the show Frasier (his first name is pronounced like the surname) – I assume that some time in the past people used a last name as a first name and it stuck. But I guess I still don’t understand why calling “House of Fraser,” House of Frasier is funny? What does a 1990s show about a snooty psychiatrist living in Seattle have to do with a British department store?

            Okay – I’m going to stop worrying about it, sometimes you’re just not destined to understand things.

          • Just that I imagined a ‘house of Frasier’, and then next to it a ‘House of Seinfeld’, and then next to that a ‘House of Friends’… Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could go into a house and step into the world of a television show?

        • There are a bunch more also on sale this time of year (stores are trying to sell all their tweed) – if you go to your favorite department store’s websites or search tweed on shopstyle, you’ll probably find something you like.

          • Following that instruction, I just tried Asos, and turned up this ‘gem’. The jacket is nice, but the styling… very ‘Clueless’!
            http://www.asos.com/Jovonnista/Jovonnista-Mellisa-Tweed-Biker-Jacket/Prod/pgeproduct.aspx?iid=3562956&SearchQuery=tweed&sh=0&pge=0&pgesize=36&sort=-1&clr=Pinktweed

      • TGFKAC! Woot. :)

    • locomotive :

      Really love this jacket as well

    • Ann Klein has a couple of nice tweedy jackets and I love the cut of the one I got a couple of months ago. Only drawback is that the weave is so loose it pills like nobody’s business.
      I do love the jacket featured today but it strikes me as a fall or winter wear, a bit tweedy for spring.

  2. Ciao, pues :

    Rage against fluorescent lighting!

    Anyone have any recommendations for a small office desk lamp and the best bulbs for soft, naturalish light? Lights on in my office = migraine. Lights off in my office = naptime. I need a desklamp that brightens up my workspace without inducing a headache!

    • Not a desk lamp, but if your IT Policies allow it, try f.lux on your computer. it makes the color of your computer’s display adapt to the time of day, warm at night and like sunlight during the day.

    • Argh. Typed my letters in the wrong order!

  3. Diana Barry :

    I do like this jacket. Very nice!

    Just met with a potential client and had to decline representation (no $$). Person was very odd. I know many people have to do this all the time, but this was a first for me.

    • Are you a solo? I worked for a solo practitioner pre-law school, and he had to turn people down all the time. Everyone thought they had a case, just because they were mad, usually neighbor squabbles.

      It was difficult to do, though. They never took “no” gracefully.

      • Diana Barry :

        Nope, at a firm. You’re right, the person had to hear “There is nothing I can do” a few different ways before getting it.

        • I had a pro-bono divorce client who wanted something from the court that the court simply couldn’t do (outside their power and jurisdiction) and she complained about it constantly, no matter how frequently I explained to her why it was impossible. And then, when we finished the representation, she wrote me several emails saying she was deeply disappointed that we had failed to get what she wanted, and implying that she wanted me to do something about it. Eventually I had to send her an email and letter terminating the representation (and yet again telling her we got everything we could get) because I think otherwise she would have continued to write me about it forever.

          I guess what I”m saying is that some people don’t take no for an answer. :-P

          • Diana Barry :

            No kidding! Then they also complain when you want to charge them for the hour you spent on the phone with them listening to them complain.

      • This is a daily part of my practice, and it really doesn’t get easier. What does get easier is declining the people who say “you should really take my case for free, it will make you famous!”

  4. PSA – When I posted about getting my wooden file cabinet from Home Decorators Collection, a few of you said you were interested in ordered other things from that site. They are currently having a sale – 25% off of Outlet items and free shipping. I have to say, I couldn’t have been happier with the item I purchased. It’s functional and pretty. I’m considering buying another piece of furniture.

    http://www.homedecorators.com/S/735whseoutlet/

    • Senior Attorney :

      +1 for Home Decorators. I bought a fab aqua leather chair and ottoman from them and have been really happy with them.

    • Thanks for the tip! Home Decorators is opening a store up in Maryland, and I can’t wait. Finally, an option to Ikea!

      • Oooh! A store! That would be even better. I’m looking at a small cabinet. It’s a great price and would be a good storage alternative to the open Ikea bookcase I have in my guestroom. I like to have a piece of furniture for guests to put things on but am not in love with the bookcase.

      • Oh really? Do you know where in MD?

    • DC Wonkette :

      I kid you not, I was going to page NOLA this morning to check which filing cabinet you recommended — too funny. Thanks!

      • Awesome! I think mine is the Oxford Filing cabinet. It comes in white or brown and 2, 3, or 4 drawers. I ordered the 3 drawer and it’s a good size. When my friend was staying with me recently, she commented about how pretty it is and a great choice for her, too. You’d never know it was a filing cabinet.

  5. How do you handle people who seem to only want to communicate on their terms?

    When one of my friends needs something, she finds a way to get in touch. But when I share links or email just to check in, she’ll ignore a lot of what I send. So then I’ll ignore her back… until she gets in touch and is like, “Oh, we need to catch up! It’s been so long!”

    I also struggle with friends who are very present when they live in my city, but once they move, they basically drop off the face of the earth. It’s like they don’t need me anymore now that we can’t hang out regularly. I know we can’t have the same kind of friendship that we did when we could do yoga and brunch a few times a month, but it frustrates me that people seem to just focus on what’s immediately around them instead of nurturing relationships long-term.

    • Anne Shirley :

      I try and take relationships for what they are. Friend A loves calling and chatting every few days but never responds to email. Friend B likes to get a drink every 6 weeks or so but really isn’t interested in keeping up on a day to say basis. Friend C was really awesome when we lived close by, and is great to visit, but has her own stuff going on. To be blunt: they may not need another person to keep in touch with long distance and might have found you an awesome local friend but not want to nurture a long term relationship. I try and remember the example of my parents who moved to the other side of the world with little kids. Most of their friends became just people on the Christmas card list. Now that they’re all retired they meet up with different friends all over the world because that’s the kind of friendship that works for them. People don’t owe you the type of relationship you want.

      • I”m with Anne Shirley. Your friends are telling/showing you what kind of relationship they have time for/want. You can’t do anything to change how they are going to act. The only thing you get to choose is when to accept their invitations, when to make your own invitations, and how you feel when things don’t meet your expectations.

    • Two things I’ve learned regarding this:
      1) If it matters to you, you need to take the initiative to reach out. I’ve always been bad about keeping in touch with people once they move, but now I make it a point to email them or make time to see them if I am in their area. Unless they’re sociopaths, most people won’t mind hearing from you even if you haven’t spoken in years.

      2) Don’t take it personally if they don’t respond. People are different. They are busy. They forget things. I used to be really bad at this and brood about why they won’t respond. Some of them do eventually respond. Some of them never do and I have to sort of write them off.

    • Math Chick :

      Could this be an example of “80% of success is showing up”? When a friend is close, it is easy to do things with them all the time and feel really close. But then when they aren’t there, it’s just much harder and different (and you’re doing the “showing up” stuff with whomever is close by).

      I had a friend who was in my field and who later became a neighbor. Very easy to be friends with and do a ton with. And then I moved. We keep in touch and I wish that we were geographically closer, but at least I know we did have more going than “you are a convenient friend.”

      It’s hard to know what you have until you have to make an effort to have it. What really gets me are the people who only want to hang out when they are single or their SO isn’t around. Who likes being your B-list friend?

    • Hildegarde :

      I often don’t respond to e-mails from friends that are just links; a couple of friends reliably send me items I find interesting, but lots of link forwards are not worth the time to look at them. Everyone is inundated with that sort of information. This doesn’t mean I like those friends less; just that I don’t share their taste in what is funny or interesting on the internet.

      I think there are a couple of ways to “e-mail to check in.” If your entire e-mail consists of “Haven’t seen you in forever! How are things?”, this type of e-mail is pretty difficult to respond to. It puts the burden on the other person to type out a whole life update, whereas all you’ve done is “checked in.” If you’re sending her a life update and aren’t receiving one in return, however, then I agree with Anne Shirley: people communicate in different ways, and her ways might not be your ways.

      Finally, it takes much more effort to nuture a long-distance friendship than a close-by friendship. I think most people only have the time and ability for a very small number of high or even medium-intensity long distance friendships. Someone with whom I only did yoga and brunch a few times a month when we lived in the same town is probably not a close enough friend that I’m going to neglect friends in my new city to keep up with her with more than an occasional e-mail or phone call.

      I don’t think any of this means your friendship with this person wasn’t, or isn’t, real; I just think friendships go through phases depending on where people are in the world and in their lives.

    • I’ve actually learned in the last 6 months or so that I’m the “flaky” friend from one of my best friends. Honestly, I didn’t know it until she told me she was feeling this way.

      Before that point, I’d been working long law firm hours and just couldn’t get out for a 6pm dinner or was too tired on the weekend to do much more than sleep. She’s a teacher and I know she works hard but, honestly, she had way more time and energy than I did (and week-long breaks: winter! summer! spring!). I would save her texts and emails, hoping that I would have a response and then just completely not responding. Oops. I’ve learned my lesson, I respond that I don’t have an answer now.

      I also changed meeting with her from a random occurrence to a planned once-per-week activity. It’s not ideal for her but, honestly, it’s the only way I can meet her needs without going a little crazy with “is it this weekend or next?” “Tuesday or Thursday?” “6pm or 7pm?

    • Thanks. I needed that dose of tough love. I know I am overly sensitive about these things. I appreciate hearing the different perspectives.

      • anon, I appreciate hearing your feelings on this. I’m the one that tends to fall off the map when friends move away- a little bit of out of sight, out of mind, but I also don’t like talking over the phone or texting extensively. I need to hear this from time to time so I remember to up my game.

        • I agree with everyone who says to “take each friendship for what it is.” There are some friends who I may only talk to once or twice a year but I consider them better friends than the “friends of convenience,” the people who may be around me and I see them often. Sometimes a friend of convenience can turn into a Real Friend, but sometimes not.

          Sometimes it’s the other end of things — someone you thought was a Real Friend treats you like a Friend of Convenience when you move away. This happened with an old grad school roommate of mine — literally haven’t talked to her in 10 years since I called to wish her a happy birthday, having just moved away, and she acted like I interrupted her day and she had much better things to do … and promptly stopped returning my emails and phone calls. To this day I wonder if I did something to her — I seriously thought we were like sisters, like bridesmaid-worthy friends — but after all this time I just have to accept that we were never the good friends I thought we were (or maybe she just can’t appreciate good friends?) but that either way, she’s incapable of keeping a relationship that is out of sight/out of mind. It still hurts a little bit, to be honest, but it is what it is. (We’re FB friends, and it’s always interesting to see who posts on her wall for her bday — lots of local people and family, and that’s it. So after all this time I suspect it wasn’t me, it’s her.)

  6. We went on a group trip to Mexico last week (5 couples) and all stayed in one big house. A great time was had by all. Side note: the house was awesome and was a great deal….if anyone is interested in details I’d be happy to pass along information. We’ll definitely be back!

    One of the wives in the group found out she is pregnant with her second child right before we left for Mexico (7 weeks along). She also found out right before we left for Mexico at the same last year that she was pregnant with her first child. The biggest difference between last year’s trip and this year’s trip was that she chose to drink on a daily basis. She had a margarita everyday we were there – I made them so I know that they were more on the stiff side. I didn’t say anything but I was so mad. Am I overreacting? Would you have said anything?

    • You are overreacting. It’s none of your business whether she chooses to drink or not.

    • Math Chick :

      2 first trimesters a year apart? I would be drinking, too.

      Seriously, all of the important neural stuff is done by now. 1 drink a day on vacation won’t amount to a hill of beans. Your drive to work was more statistically dangerous.

      • Amen to this. She was probably excited that she was going on a Mexican vacation and finally able to drink on the beach to her heart’s content and then found out right before that she couldn’t. I had the same thing happen to me with my second child. I chose not to drink until the middle of my second trimester and then only had a glass of wine every few days. But I wouldn’t judge your friend’s choices. Not your business.

      • Anonynonynony :

        This. In many countries (notably France, for example) having a glass of wine or a single drink is considered normal and even possibly good for the baby. But on the flip side, they consider eating salad to be paramount to child abuse whereas American mothers view it as a way to eat healthy while pregnant (as long as the lettuce is well cleaned.) And of course, all of parent’s parents drank and smoked throughout their pregnancies.

        Anyway – I guess what I’m saying is that the lady on her second pregnancy in 12 months probably knows more about what is or isn’t allowed than you do. So unless she starts drinking whole pitchers of margaritas or bottles of wine, just leave it be (and if god forbid, that does happen, talk to her in a sensitive not accusatory manner for god’s sake.)

        • French anon :

          I’m sure, but this is bs. French moms don’t ‘drank and smoked throughout their pregnancies’. Please stop the French bashing.

          • French anon :

            this should have started with ‘ I’m sorry’ …

          • That was a reference to “parents parents”- 40 years ago everyone smoke and drank through their pregnancies. Not directed at the French.

          • Giving her the benefit of the doubt, I think she meant that all “our” parents drank and smoked through their pregnancies.

          • “All of our parents’ parents…”

            I think the smoking comment was aimed to the previous generation of American parents (like in first half of the 1900s), not French bashing.

          • Anonynonynony :

            Sorry – I meant our parent’s parents – as in our grandparents – who were pregnant in the 40s, 50s, and 60s probably. All I was saying about the French is that they are okay with a glass of wine during pregnancy. Perhaps not universally (nothing is universal), but I don’t think it is treated the way Americans treat drinking (which is practically treated like a crime or something.)

            Sorry for the confusion.

      • Disagree that “all the important neural stuff” is done by 7 weeks. That goes on well into the first trimester.

        She might subscribe to the “yolk sac” standard — that is, until the umbilical cord & placenta are fully functioning (8 weeks or later)—she’s not sharing directly with the baby. This is true, so she’s definitely not going to give the baby FAS or the like (not that one drink per day could do that, anyway). But it doesn’t mean it’s healthy for the development of the embryo; that’s a totally separate question.

        I’m actually surprised by how many people think it’s NBD during this very critical stage of development. I’ve seen lots of literature saying it’s OK to drink moderately but not any that refers to this stage of pregnancy— can someone point to the science you’re referring to?

        • YES!, she mentioned something about this.

        • There’s a chapter in Expecting Better on this. IIRC, there is an increased risk of miscarriage with moderate drinking in the first trimester, but no substantiated effects on successful pregnancies. Increase miscarriage risk from this study: http://ije.oxfordjournals.org/content/41/2/405.short

          • Actually that study only looked at the risk of fetal death so does not support your statement that there was no effect on successful pregnancies; the study did not look at that. Also, only 2.2% of the study participants had 4 or more drinks per week.

        • One of a number of studies suggesting no effect on successful pregnancies: http://journals.lww.com/obgynsurvey/Abstract/2010/12000/Low_Moderate_Prenatal_Alcohol_Exposure_and_Risk_to.6.aspx

          • Thanks for the info!

          • A more recent study, came to the opposite conclusion: http://www.plosone.org/article/info%3Adoi%2F10.1371%2Fjournal.pone.0074844
            So the question remains unanswered.

    • Wildkitten :

      Don’t tell other people what to do with their bodies.

    • You were “mad”? Who made you queen?

    • If she had 1 margarita a day I would keep my mouth shut and my judgment to myself. That’s between her and her husband. The closest I might come to involvement is to maybe make the margaritas a bit weaker. But even then – did you watch her finish each drop? How do you know she didn’t just take a few sips, walk around with it, give her husband half to drink and then leave the rest to icy evaporation?

      I can see being upset if she got wasted every day but not over her simply having 1 drink. Also, not to start a debate over what’s good or bad, but people have been having babies for thousands of years and they didn’t stop drinking during pregnancy until the last 40, maybe less. And many women don’t find out they are pregnant right away and continue to drink in moderation with no ill effects well into their early pregnancy with no consequences. Sometimes best practices are just that – best, not only. I would trust this woman to make her own judgments. Don’t let it spoil your vacation.

    • I don’t think you are overreacting, but I also don’t think it is your place to say anything.

      My 2 cents:
      – Am I the other parent? (No)
      – Am I her doctor ? (No)

      Then I say nothing. I can wear my silent, judgey pants if I want to, but I’m not allowed to say anything.

      I’d only say something if she didn’t know what she was about to consume (ex: she thought the lemonade was just lemonade when it was actually spiked with vodka, or she didn’t know about the “special ingredient” in the brownies). Then I get to tell her what is in there, but I don’t get to tell her whether to consume.

      • Math Chick :

        My sister did this — she is a bit sheltered and didn’t know what Mike’s Hard Lemonade was. We had to tell her not to give it to her children or drink it before nursery school pick-up.

    • Perhaps, in the intervening year, she read one of the many pieces of scientific literature showing very low risks from small amounts of alcohol consumption in pregnancy! You are operating on your own folk knowledge of pregnancy-related risks. Drinking less than one unit of alcohol per day is not a big deal.

      I mean, you shouldn’t tell her what to do with her body even if it were actually a high-risk activity. But in this situation, it’s even more clearcut.

    • “One of the wives”? Not “one of my friends”. Makes it pretty clear how you feel about this woman.

      • Didn’t even catch this on the first read, but I agree. Sounds like OP may be trying to find something wrong with her.

        • I didn’t mean it that way – all the people that went on the trip are people I know well and all are “my friends”.

    • I disagree with everyone who says its no big deal – a stiff margarita is really different than a couple of sips of wine and I would have been as horrified as you. That said, its not your place to say anything about it unless you’re her spouse or her doctor.

      • I basically agree. Maybe I’d say that it’s not a *big* deal, but it’s a little bit of a deal. I’ve always been a strong defender of moderate drinking while pregnant, but I do think that there’s a difference between a strong margarita each day and a glass of wine or beer. But the likelihood of it being an actual problem is still pretty low. So, it’s not something that you should say something about, but I wouldn’t think less of you for a little silent judgment. And I probably would have started mixing weak drinks.

        BTW, I had what she had happen – planned a vacation (to an all-inclusive including drinks resort!) and got a surprise before hand. I did drink wine and beer, and a few times I had them mix a very weak drink (like, just put a drizzle of rum in), but a full-strength full drink each day seems over the top. (But then, I’m fairly small, and a drink like that is likely to actually get me a little bit buzzed. Perhaps if she is larger and has a higher tolerance, it’s different?)

      • Anonymous :

        Agreed. A standard margarita has 3+ shots of tequila per drink. (See Food Network). If OP said, I saw a pregnant woman toss back 3 tequila shots in about an hour, I really doubt people would have this “It’s totes cool don’t judge!” reaction.

        That said, as (I think) is reflected on this board, not everyone knows how much booze goes into a mixed drink. I would have told her how much alcohol was in each drink and offered to make a less boozy version for her so she could still feel festive. She should’ve realized the drink was too strong to be having while PG, but I’m not sure that you get to be mad about a PG lady drinking a strong drink if you didn’t tell her how strong it was.

        • You can generally tell how strong a drink is when you take a sip. I don’t think I needed to warn her and I think by warning her that would’ve come off as passive aggressive…like P.S. I’m judging you for drinking that margarita…which I was doing but didn’t want to be a passive aggressive b*itch about it.

    • I would judge her silently for drinking hard alcohol but wouldn’t say anything.

      • This is precisely what I did and I had no plans of saying anything. I’m just wondering if anyone out there feels strongly enough that they would say something.

  7. Nanny issues :

    Some of you may recall that I posted six weeks ago about my unreliable nanny. Well, I didn’t fire her then. But since then, she’s missed an additional 8 days of work for various reasons. I’ve had three serious xonversations with her about it, and yet it doesn’t improve. So we are letting her go today. I could really use some encouragement and reassurance. We are paying severance, but I still feel lousy. She’s a good nanny when she’s around – but I need childcare 100%, not 80%, of the time. Any words of encouragement?

    • Sure – there are other good nannies out there. You did the right thing. Keep looking.

      • If it makes you feel better, she’s not a good nanny if she’s that unreliable.

        • Exactly.

          Would you think that you had a “good car” if it didn’t start one weekday each week when you needed to get to work? 80% reliability is not reliable.

        • Diana Barry :

          +1000. You will feel so much better when you have someone reliable!

    • My nanny has missed work twice in six years – both times because she was sick with something my kids had given her. Do NOT feel lousy about this.

    • Your life will be a LOT easier once you have reliable childcare. You’re doing the right thing that will make you happier and less stressed in the long run.

    • I wouldn’t pay severance, so you are nice to provide that to her, given her short tenure with your family. Illness aside, if she is not available for work every day, she’s not performing her job. Once you have reliable childcare in place, you will look back and realize that you did the right thing.

      • anon-oh-no :

        yeah, i wouldnt pay severance under the circumstances either, so you are being super nice. I’ve only had my current nanny for a year, but she has never missed work. ever. i remember you and thought you should have let her go then, so go for you for doing it now. you need reliable daycare.

        • nanny issues :

          Yeah, we’re signing up for daycare. It’s going to be harder on me (more drop-offs and pick-ups, more logistics) but I really think it will be better on the family as a whole. And it will definitely be more consistent and reliable.

          • anon-oh-no :

            this may be too late for you to see, but FWIW, we used daycare for 5 years and loved it.

            We switched when our son started kindergarten and it was too hard to get the kids to two locations that were not close together. Our daughter is back in a daycare now that is very close to our house and our son is in a school that is also very close. We just have a babysitter for afterschool care for my son and pick-up for my daughter until we get home from work.

            As much as we love a good daycare, having a good babysitter/nanny is also fantastic. you need to be able to have complete confidence in who your children are with, and to me, reliability tends to be symptomatic of other things. So Im glad for you that you have found a more reliable source of child care.

    • nanny issues :

      Thank you all. I really needed the encouragement on this one.

  8. Until I manage to lose about 10 pounds, I am without adequate spring suiting (whomp whomp…). Because it’s impossible to “hate myself skinny”–thanks @SeniorAttorney!–I would like to find a nice a-line skirt suit to bridge the, erm, gap. Where can I find a great and affordable a line skirt suit?

    • Check out Lord and Taylor. You can usually find something on sale and they have loads of suit and suit separates options.

    • I always recommend the Calvin Klein suiting separates at Macy’s (I think it’s their everyday value series). A line skirt, pencil skirt, dress, pants, and 2 different jackets–all fairly reasonably priced.

    • Lorelai Gilmore :

      +1 for the Calvin Klein suiting. I also really like the Sejour pieces at Nordstrom and for a really cheap suit, try Dress Barn’s Jones New York line.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Seconding Macy’s for lower-priced suits that don’t need to last forever.

      And keep on loving yourself!! :)

    • If its available in your size, this Calvin Klein charcoal suit might be perfect. I really like the amount of flare in the skirt – it looks nicely comfortable and flattering while still being entirely professional.

      http://tinyurl.com/kbf3ocd

      • Killer Kitten Heels :

        I’m wearing this exact suit today, and the flare of the a-line is, indeed, entirely professional.

      • TCFKAG, I really appreciate all you do to help the ladies here and am not opposed to anyone here using an affiliate link, but it seems strange that you wouldn’t give a heads up when you planned to use one…

    • Try discount sites like 6PM.com that have a pretty good supply of career suiting. Also, depending where you are, there are some terrific thrift shops out there which I use a lot for transitional wardrobe pieces. Get yourself a nice designer suit for less than $50 now that fits and then when you’ve lost some weight, get it altered to fit your new size and you’ve spent just peanuts total. :)

  9. I have a meeting with my boss coming up and I’m pretty sure I’m going to get a reprimand based on the wording used to schedule it. The thing is, I have NO IDEA what I’ve done wrong. All my feedback in this job so far has been positive to glowing. I’m stressing about what it could possibly be, and how to react. Though I wish I could just forget about it until I actually hear some information. I’ve decided not to ask around with anyone else because I don’t want to start rumors or potentially make things worse, so nobody else knows to my knowledge.

    Any suggestions for getting through this waiting period, and then the conversation itself?

    • Can you share the wording that has you worried? If it was done through email it may just be a tone issue, and everything might be absolutely fine.

      • Something I sent out has “raised concerns.” I’ve pored back over it repeatedly and just can’t see anything inappropriate or unprofessional. And it’s actually a very informal work culture anyway. I’m baffled.

        • Anne Shirley :

          If you know which thing you sent out raised concerns, and all you don’t know is why, I wouldn’t ask for more info pre-meeting. If they wanted to tell you they would have. Asking for more info now risks making this into a bigger thing than it needs to be. I would look over similar items that didn’t raise concerns to see if you can spot a difference, and so that you can use them as examples to help you figure out how not to make the same mistake again.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      Request more info. Say you would like to adequately prepare for the meeting and need more information about what specifically this is regarding.

      • I think a request for more info is likely to make it a bigger issue without the potential for much upside.

        If it is something bad, the best thing you can do is listen and then identify what you will do to not repeat the problem. The last thing you want to do is make excuses–and preknowledge coupled with pride is going to make that more likely. It also risks annoying them further with having to spend more if their time focusing on an issue rather than just having the meeting to focus on the issue. You don’t want to ask for a premeeting to a meeting essentially.

        I also agree with the earlier poster that “raised concerns” could be something totally unrelated to your performance–concerns that you are taking on tasks that you shouldn’t have to, concerns that you are being spread too thin, concerns that a colleague isn’t doing what they need to, etc. Or concerns that the customer or client has something going on (indication of a sale or contact turnover) that’s entirely unrelated to your interaction but that you should know about since you won’t want to be communicating “business as usual” with the knowledge.

        If it were me, I would wait to hear what they have to say before immediately trying to CYA since nothing seems obvious at his point.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Is it possible it has raised concerns about something other than you and your performance? I’ll never forget once when I was a young associate, a couple of partners called me in and grilled me on a project I was working on for a new-to-the-firm partner. I was flabbergasted when it turned out they were worried about his performance rather than mine. Just a thought.

    • hellskitchen :

      My strategy is these situations is not worry until I actually have to worry. You have looked over your materials and found nothing concerning, you have decided not to ask around about it… now just let it go until you have to talk to your boss. Walk in there calmly and confidently – if you indeed did make a mistake, then apologize for it, correct it, and move on. If you didn’t then defend your decision and ask how what they want you do in future. If you are really stressing out, perhaps have a non-work friend or SO read your materials and see if they spot anything off about the tone or language.

  10. Famouscait :

    Can anyone recommend a foam roller for low back pain? I had no idea there’d be so many choices on Amazon…

    • I’m pretty sure it doesn’t matter which one you get, as long as you do it consistently. :) I have a blue one from KMart. Did your doctor or some other knowledgeable person recommend foam rolling your lower back? My trainer discourages using it on that area.

      • Famouscait :

        I asked my OB about foam rolling to relive lower back pain from pregnancy. She was fine with it, but I have read a few things on the interwebs that it’s not a good idea… but I cant grasp why. Ideas?

        Yes – the overabundance of product choices had me leaning towards whichever one I could find in my favorite color, purple. =)

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          The colors usually have to do with the firmness. I had a light blue one and it completely buckled over a short period of time and I am on the lower end of normal weights for my height. I now have a black one that is supposed to be the densest and it hasn’t event got a dent in it from my use. I got it on Amazon but was shocked to see how long it is. It could be cut into two foam rollers.

        • Foam rolling is terrific for relieving pain/loosening fascia. Just never roll over a joint. For your back, keep it between sacrum and just above your shoulder blades, and you should be fine. You definitely don’t want to get up into your neck.

          I am not a trainer or PT – or anything medical, so be sure to check with someone trained/knowledgeable.

    • I bought one from City Sports years ago. There are different firmness ones (the one my physical therapist has & sells is much harder than the one I bought). If someone (doctor/PT/etc.) suggested you foam roll, I would ask them what firmness they would recommend you get for your intended purpose.

    • I have one called “the grid” or something of that sort. It works really well.

    • Coach Laura :

      Famouscait- I recommend the Miracle Ball book and ball set. There’s also one for pregnancy. I (not pregnant) love them and after a session using these therapy balls I feel like I’ve had a massage. You can find the sets on amazon and also just the book on Kindle version.

    • PB Elite Molded Foam Rollers

      available at www DOT performbetter DOT com

      6″ round, 3′ long

  11. A little late to the game, but I’m thrilled that Auntie M is back. I thought her picks were consistently great last time. Welcome back!

  12. Miz Swizz :

    Can anyone recommend a black shell with sleeves? I don’t know if it’s considered a shell at that point but I have some sleeveless shells that I really like but my office has already cranked the A/C so sleeveless is a distant memory.

  13. Love this jacket! Does anyone know what the sizing is like in this brand (Classiques Entier)? They list M as 8-10, and L as 12-14. I currently fit best in sizes labeled 10-12, so do I order M or L?

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