Coffee Break: Emilia Pump

I’m always a fan of witty, colorful pumps like this — they can really make an outfit entirely by themselves. I love the low heel and classic almond toe shape — and note that if the pink/brown/black color scheme isn’t for you, the pump also comes in a light beige and a black. The shoe is $180 at Zappos, available in sizes 5-11. Amazon also has it in black and beige, as does Nordstrom — whoa, Nordstrom also has a teal/yellow version that’s definitely a statement. Pictured: Emilia Pump

Admin Update 2: I’m still emailing with my ad company regarding the bottom “Report” button not working, and I’ve seen at least one ad that didn’t even have a Report button. For the sidebar ads, though, note that the “Report ad” button is below the ad, as pictured here. If anyone ISN’T seeing that “Report ad” text, please send me a screenshot. (Also, if anyone can pretty please send me a screenshot of the CW ad, that would be greatly appreciated — I’m trying to bring it up by toggling between and Corporette but I’m not getting any ads regarding CW.) Thank you for your patience!

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  1. I’d like to buy a pair of cowboy boots. How should I think about styling them, or what color to get? I’m 30 and my style tends to be relatively simple and minimalist. I like a little edge or a hint of something out of the ordinary as well.

    • Pick a color that goes with a lot of pieces in your wardrobe. I prefer the shorter ones and wear them like booties with pants and dresses.

    • If you’re not from the west and are thinking you’d like them more for appearance than anything, consider the Frye Harness boot. I’ve had a pair for almost a decade now and they’re indestructible. Sure, Texans will say they aren’t cowboy boots (and they aren’t), but they give you the feel when you live in other parts of the country where cowboy boots can read as playing dress up.

      • I have a lot of cowboy boots :

        +1 My Frye harness boots and my Justin ropers definitely get the most mileage.

        • Anonymous :

          What do you wear your Justin ropers with? I have some and wore with pants for 10+ years and never reach for them lately.

          • I have a lot of cowboy boots :

            I still wear my ropers over and under jeans. In the summer, I wear them with short, breezy sundresses and under straight or wide legged linen pants. I’ve worn them with full skirts but heeled booties honestly look much better.

            I’m sensitive to insect bites and seem to attract them, so I often wear boots instead of sandals if I’m going to be walking on grass (at cookouts or the park) when it’s buggy. The ropers are my go-to for a lot of summery outfits that would otherwise involve sandals.

    • I have a lot of cowboy boots :

      Like full-on embroidered lizard-skin-optional cowboy boots, or harness boots, or ropers..?

      I think it can be flattering to choose a natural leather that subtly complements your hair. Alternatively, an accent color that will work for your wardrobe is fun (e.g. teal).

      As for styling, start with your most flattering jeans and go from there. Don’t be afraid to wear them with casual skirts and dresses in the summer.

    • I have some Justins that are classic style, darkish brown leather with white stitching and teal inserts. They seem to go with everything. I like to wear them with skirts in the in-between weather – basically this time of year in a California. The style name is Arizona. I’m not sure whether that style is still made, but it’s a good one.

      • Boy I just googled Justin Boot Arizona and got all kinds of different styles. It’s basically this style, different color.

        Justin Ladies Bent Rail Rnd Toe Mocha Boots 8.5

      • This one is pretty cute. FYI I had to go with a wide width to compensate for my high instep – could not get my foot into many regular width western boots.

        Justin Boots Women’s Vintage Fashion 13″ Boot Narrow Square Toe Vintage Rubber Outsole,Mocha Damiana/Taupe Damiana/Taupe Damiana Wingtip,9.5 C US

    • This is kind of weird advice, but look for boots with a narrow shaft: they are easier to fit under bootcut jeans. That’s the easiest way to style them, IMO. Then, +1 to everything I Have Lots of Cowboy Boots said. Justins are my favorite because they are so comfy but Fryes are also a great jumping off point. Go for it! I think cowboy boots are some of the most comfy footwear out there. Don’t skimp on price but don’t be fooled either: you don’t need to buy Luccheses to be comfortable/stylish.

    • I think cognac/lighter brown is a fairly neutral color and goes with everything.

      Tecovas is a new brand that I’ve heard good things about. They have a waterproof bootie I’m tempted to try.

      There are lots of options for the style, I find a snip & pointed toe to be the most flattering toe style.

      The leather will really drive the price. I believe cowhide is the most economical option. Ostrich is a beautiful option.

  2. Love these shoes. I can see them with a black dress and bare legs in the summer.

    • Anon for this :

      I so agree! I would love to be able to wear these pumps just like you suggest, but also be able to wear them to work on Casual Fridays, with no stockings! They have a distinct Western flavour to them!!!!

  3. brokentoe paging ORD-MSP :

    You received some good advice yesterday about your upcoming move to the Twin Cities. I’m a Twin Cities-based Realtor and would love to help you find the right place for you and your young family…..

    • Thanks, if I was looking for one I would have asked.

      One the the best things about this site is the lack of direct salesey pitches on the forum. Im hoping we can keep that to a minimum.

      • Anonymous :

        Wow that is so incredibly rude. She’s a regular poster offering to help. Get the stick out of your t_$h.

      • So unnecessarily rude, yesterday. It’s not like she was inviting you to a party to buy essential oils once you get to Mpls.

      • You are totally not rude and, like always, everybody is being wayyyy too sensitive. It is absolutely not rude in any world to say no to unsolicited sales pitches.

    • hey! for the record, the “Ystrdy” poster was not me; I appreciate the this-site connection but we are not looking to buy this year. I did get good advice yesterday – thanks everyone!

      Also, for the poster who asked where we are now, we are in the Lincoln Square/Ravenswood/North Center region and couldn’t be happier.

  4. Wedding Question :

    I’m getting married in September in my home city where I met and live with my fiance. His family is from the South. My parents have generously offered to pay for the wedding, which is small, and his family is traveling in for it and has also offered to throw us a pig roast afterwards at the family property, which my folks will travel to, for everyone who couldn’t make it up North for the wedding.

    So here’s my question: we’re pretty much maxing out the wedding budget already, and because of where we live we aren’t really in a position to host a brunch at our place the next day. We’d have to rent a place. In this situation, does etiquette dictate we host dinner the night before the wedding for out of town guests AND a post-wedding brunch? Between the two, I think a brunch would be more fun, but I don’t want to commit a faux pas by omitting a “rehearsal dinner,” even though there isn’t really anything to rehearse.

    Thank you!

    • Do you have relatives in your current city who do have more space? Because I think hosting dinner – something as casual as a backyard cookout – and I mean a cookout, not a fancy catered thing – the night before would be a warm introduction for the families. I think post-wedding brunch is the modern wedding machine at work – I know when I got married, many people had their flights out of town already arranged for that morning.

    • Anonymous :

      This post-wedding brunch thing is a completely new creation. Like within the last 10-15 years I think. Not saying people didn’t do it before that, but the “necessity” of it is new. If you don’t want to do it, don’t. We had a block of rooms at a hotel that offered breakfast/brunch and my new H and I, and our immediate families, all hung out down there for a couple of hours on Sunday morning after our wedding. And then had a small brunch for immediate family only at noon at a restaurant. I heard no complaints. Same with the rehearsal. Small dinner for immediate family (we only had one attendant each and they attended as well with their SOs) and then told everyone what bar we’d be at that night.

      • I don’t think the post-wedding brunch is a new creation. We did it 30 years ago and it was standard within our circles to invite the out of towners.

    • WasAChicagoan :

      I think some entertainment for out-of-town guests is called for, but it doesn’t have to be a 4 course meal. We did pizza in a local Italian restaurant for a rehearsal dinner (I’m originally from Chicago which was my excuse). I attended a wine/beer + chips reception held at a bridesmaid’s apartment which was probably also low budget (and super fun).

    • Anon in NYC :

      We didn’t host a post-wedding brunch. We had very early flights the next day for our honeymoon. We did host a rehearsal dinner that was limited to the wedding party (as opposed to the trend of inviting all out of town guests).

    • There is no need to host a post-wedding brunch.

      The following is NOT meant to shame anyone who lives their lives like, well, modern people, but allow me to point out that no couple who waits for their wedding night has ever desired to crawl out of bed the next morning at 8 am and entertain guests.

      Even if it is your 500th night together, the logic applies. There is no etiquette requirement for a brunch. If you want one, great, but no need.

      • anonymous :

        True story: my parents planned a wedding brunch the morning after our wedding and didn’t tell us until the day before the wedding. “Well, we figured since everyone is in town”… They didn’t ask us to plan it or help with it, but expected us to show up even though we’d been tied up with guests and wedding-related events for the week prior to the wedding, and had flights leaving at 11 the day after the wedding for our honeymoon. NOPE.

        • Wow.

          I can see how some people, especially extroverts, would love a wedding brunch, but it seems fantastically rude to expect the newlyweds to continue to host. They have honeymoons, might want to decompress, or might just want to… be newlyweds.

          • Lana Del Raygun :

            I am super extroverted and I love my family and friends, but once I left the wedding reception it was BYE, SEE Y’ALL IN A WEEK, I’M TURNING MY PHONE OFF. Go enjoy being married! You are not obligated to host a brunch.

            Your parents can certainly host one if they want to see more of out-of-town family and friends, but you don’t have to be there. :)

        • My dad came to our house the morning after our wedding and pounded on the door at 6:00 AM, yelling at us to get up and come say goodbye to the relatives who “had traveled all this way” and were leaving for the airport.

          My husband answered the door in his underwear, and suddenly Dad realized that Things Had Changed.

    • Senior Attorney :

      We hosted a rehearsal dinner for out-of-town guests and spread the word that we would be brunching the next (late!) morning at our hotel and anybody who wanted to join us was welcome to do so on a no-host basis. It worked out just fine.

    • You don’t need to do either. Traditionally you do a rehearsal dinner with immediate family and bridal party only (if you have a rehearsal you should feed and host), but nothing else requires you to host out of town guests before or after the wedding.

      • Anonymous :

        So, two things. 1,) the brunch thing is newish in the last 10-15 years, as other posters have mentioned. 2.) I know there is something out there saying that a rehearsal dinner should be all out of town guests, etc., but with the transient nature of people these days, I feel like that just turns into “Wedding Part II” with respect to the number of people. I did the following, and several of my friends who have gotten married since have followed suit: the rehearsal dinner is: the wedding party + wedding party significant others + immediate family + grandparents. They, you meet everyone afterwards at a bar/other location for a night cap. OR, the rehearsal dinner is super, super casual like pizza or bbq and a “seat yourself” mentality.

        Also, this usually gives people from out of town a chance to try a fun local restaurant or similar in the area, which I always appreciate.

      • Lana Del Raygun :

        And that means it’s your close friends, so it can be super casual, like pizza. My rehearsal dinner was pizza on paper plates in my parents’ living room; most people without arthritis sat on the floor.

  5. Can anyone recommend some tights that come in a range of tones meant to match different skin tones? I am looking for something that is ‘nude for me’, but I am a pale Caucasian, so even regular beige can be too dark for me. I don’t need pantyhose- I need actual tights. I wear a M in most everything, so no special size requirements. Thanks so much!

    • Maybe Danskin or Capezio? If you truly need skin-tone TIGHTS (rather than sheer nylons), the first thing I think of are dancers and figure skaters who wear nude-to-them rather opaque tights. (I skated as a teenager, so I know my nude tights!.) I have to say, I think it might be an odd look outside of a dance studio or ice rink. You could try Discount Dance Supply for other brands.

    • Berkshire, available on amazon, has a “nude” colored right that is a pretty good skin colored shade for this lass of Irish heritage. Actual tights in skin tones are a lot harder to find than pantyhose.

      Micro fishnets in “nude” are good too. I like the ones by Spanx but I hear the Hue brand makes some nice ones as well.

      • Link to nude tights – these are like microfiber in texture, softer and thicker than sheer hose.

        Berkshire Women’s Luxe Opaque Control Top Tights, Nude, Medium


    Might be worth using up my limited clothing budget for the year… (I made it to March without a frivolous purchase; that’s pretty good, right?)

  7. Earrings? :

    I recently inherited a pair of two carat diamond studs from an aunt. I don’t really wear earrings much or diamonds at all, so I am unsure about the protocol here. Are they too much for the work day? Can I wear them to day time events at all?

    • Anonymous :

      I think the whole no diamonds in the daytime rule no longer applies. I wouldn’t think twice about wearing diamond studs during the daytime unless they were huge or set in flashy jackets. Are these 2cts each or total weight? If the former, I’d be a little more mindful of my audience when wearing them and make sure that they are securely fastened with screw backs.

      • +1

        If they were 2cts each, that’s a bit much flash for a day at the office. But that’s my comfort level.

        And I would also be afraid of losing one, which would probably also discourage me from “routine” wear. I don’t wear my diamonds daily – I wear my fakes instead.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      Diamonds are day wear in 2018. I am actually surprised that this is even a discussion today here, practically every woman I know wears diamond earrings to work.

    • With the caveat of know your office to everything above.

    • I’d wear the crap out of 2ct diamond studs, if I had 2ct diamond studs.

      Everyone will assume they’re fake anyway, at that size, so counterintuitively, you’re pretty safe wearing them.

  8. Anon - considering in-house :

    Might be too late so I’ll try again tomorrow –

    I’m a BigLaw midlevel thinking about going in-house. I am partway through an interview process with a PE portfolio company. Today I had a fabulous annual review at my firm. I’m absolutely sure I don’t want to make partner here, but it made me think that I might want to stay a little longer to feel out other options in the future.

    Should I stick around a little longer and consider lateraling to another firm in the future (I would wait at least 6-12 months, since I like the work I’m currently doing)? I would also consider a geographic move (either to another firm or in-house, depending on availability – might wait a little longer to make that kind of move since I think my seniority would matter less).

    Basically – how do you decide on a legal career trajectory after Biglaw? I find lots of “life after law” resources but surprisingly not a lot of “legal life after biglaw” resources.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m confused as to why you think that “life after law” and “life after biglaw” would be so different. You may have access to larger companies for in-house positions or seemingly more prestigious gov’t jobs or something, but if you leave law, you leave law. It’s not all that different to the world at large. The option that you have as a biglaw lawyer that you might not otherwise, I suppose, is going to smaller law. But weigh your options there. Some people do great, some don’t.

      • Anon - considering in-house :

        Well, I’m looking for some sort of structure to evaluate options after biglaw that are still in the legal space. I think it’s different to make a decision to go completely to the business side versus making a decision about going in-house to PE, going in-house to a public company, lateraling to a boutique, or lateraling to make a geographic move. Sorry if my question didn’t make sense, I will rephrase tomorrow.

        • Anonymous :

          Are you totally confident that you don’t want to be a partner? I would have said the same thing as a midlevel – but discovered that I liked the job more and more as I got further along, and now am a very happy BigLaw partner. It might be worth it to spend another year at the firm to see how things are going. I did look at other jobs throughout my tenure as an associate, but never interviewed for a job that I liked more than my BigLaw work.

    • ERISA Lady :

      It gets harder to find a new job, not easier. In general, you have more options to move as s mid level than as a senior associate. If you want to go in house, go now. You might find something later, but it’s a lot easier to go in house to in house than senior associate to in house.
      If you want advice on options as you get more senior, find someone in your practice area to talk to. If you don’t have a mentor or someone senior to talk to already, ask your law school’s alumni association to connect you.

  9. EuroMover :

    Any Product Managers here? So I have “The best PM problem to have” and am totally freaking out.
    I got a bunch of projects that definitely fit the description of Big Hairy Audacious Goals and am not sure I even know how to start. The projects have market/model, tech, regulatory/legal considerations and are generally complex- thoughts/suggestions for resources on how to stop panicking and start making progress?

    • Anonymous :

      eat the elephant one bite at a time. In other words, break it down into step by step and follow the steps. Don’t let yourself overwhelm yourself.

    • Can you do a 4 block or 9 block matrix for each major consideration rank to prioritize. Then schedule your time according to priority?

      Similar to this?

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