Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Hannah Jersey Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

We did a roundup about a year ago of sleeved dresses with pockets, with my theory that they’re the perfect thing to wear to a conference if you don’t need to wear a suit. It’s very difficult to find them, but Boden has this really nice dress with sleeves and pockets — and very cute yellow flats, as pictured here. (Check out our post on how to build a work wardrobe at Boden.) It comes in petite, regular, and long sizes in six colors, and, bonus: it’s machine washable. I like that it’s not a shapeless shift dress; the semi-fitted shape gives it a flattering look. The dress is $110 at Boden. Hannah Jersey Dress

Here’s a sleeved dress with pockets that comes in plus sizes.

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Comments

  1. My son is in the Marines, training to be on a certain aircraft. One of those particular aircrafts just crashed, killing all 3 Marines aboard. I am completely unable to “get it together” at the moment. I’m at work, at my very open and public desk, unable to stop crying. My son is fine right now, but the risk…

    • Anonymous :

      Hugs from an internet stranger <3

    • Sending love and strength. That must be really hard to see, and heck, I’m not sure you’re “supposed to” get it together right now.

      Might want to connect with Senior Attorney, who (IIRC) has a son who served. She’s on West Coast time, so usually chimes in a bit later in the am.

    • Hugs

    • Marshmallow :

      Hugs from me too.

    • Thinking of you. Can you take a walk around the block? Go to the bathroom for a few minutes? Or go grab a coffee to reset?

    • <3

    • Hugs, that is so so hard. Is it possible for you to work from home the rest of the day?

    • I’m so sorry to hear this. I’ll be thinking of you and your son. Can you go home for a bit? Maybe get a coffee or take a walk? Please be kind to yourself right now.

    • I’m so sorry. Sending hugs and virtual love.

    • Sending virtual hugs and love.

    • Delta Dawn :

      I’m so sorry. I appreciate your son’s service so much. Thank you both for your bravery. Will be thinking of you today. Try to do some nice things for yourself today if you can. I guess you can’t just call your son any time you want, but maybe you can write him a letter or put together a care package for him? Maybe moreso for you than for him, but might make you feel a little better….

    • Anon in NYC :

      Hugs. Can you take a mental health day? Or go to a conference room / the bathroom and just sob? It might feel better to get it all out.

    • Hugs. I don’t know if this helps, but it always helps me to remind that there’s inherent risk in life in everything we do. Last year, someone in NYC was killed because an object fell on them from a building. A friend of a friend was killed while out for a jog because a car backed out of the driveway. Another friend of a friend was severely brain damaged because something fell on him while in the subway. Another acquaintance of mine died of pancreatic cancer at age 22.

      I’m not trying to be morbid — but for me, realizing that life is always risky, and we can’t control it, is very helpful in controlling my anxiety about losing my friends and family.

      • Anonymous :

        Yeah normal life has some inherent risk, but serving in the armed forces is obviously riskier than just living normal life. Military folks are susceptible to all the normal risks of daily life, including cancer or being hit by a car while jogging, PLUS all the risks of serving in the military. I wouldn’t really find this comforting if I had a loved one serving.

    • Belle Boyd :

      I’m so sorry, too. Add my hugs to everyone else’s.

      I also agree with everyone else — try to get away from your desk for a bit if you can’t go home. Take a walk. Get something to drink. Collect your thoughts. Take care of YOU right now. This is a harsh blow to your reality and you need to regroup.

    • Put it out of your mind and deal with it after 6 pm?

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Oh god how scary. Hugs from me too!

      Advice, feel free to skip: can you give yourself tiny rewards to get through five minutes at a time? Like seriously buy a pack of M&Ms, and every 5 minutes you get a few? Just something to keep those minutes passing by?

      • LOL, I love the M&M reward. Texted him, without mentioning the accident, and was rewarded with a nice message and a phone call tonight. Thanks for all your kind words. Two of my kids may be adults but I would love to keep them all safe at home forever.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      I’m so sorry. Yes, do check in with senior attorney. Also, read Be Safe, Love Mom. It’s a book just for moms whose kids are going into or who are in the military. The author had, at one point, 3 kids in. I have a copy I can send you or could buy you an Amazon copy and have it delivered ASAP. Email me at my username plus e t t e at the google mail with your address if you want me to send you my copy or buy one for you.

    • Hey, you aren’t alone and I hope that’s comforting to you.

      My son is an officer in the Navy and has had back to back deployments. It’s so scary, especially when awful things happen where he’s been serving. I’ll echo everyone’s excellent suggestions to be kind to yourself today, and know that not only do you have a lot of internet strangers offering comfort, you’re part of a wide circle of military family members.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Oh big hugs from the mom of a Marine Corps veteran! I remember losing it at my desk more than once, but at least I had a private office! Go to the ladies’ room if you need to and just let it out! So happy you got to text and will talk! I lived for my weekly phone calls!

      Gah. It’s hard. Love to you and your Devil Dog!

      • Senior Attorney :

        … and now you’ve got me all weepy! Once a Marine Mom, always a Marine Mom!

        • Thank you! I had no idea how difficult this would be, for me. On his end, he’s loving it.

          • Senior Attorney :

            That’s great. I thought for sure my son would be the one nut the USMC couldn’t crack, but OMG they shaped him up and really did make a man out of him! And now they’ve paid for his grad school and the world is his oyster!

          • Anonymous :

            This reminds me of something astronaut Gene Cernan’s wife once said: “If you think going to the moon is hard, you should try staying home.” Hugs to you. No matter how old your kids are, it’s hard to send them out into the world and watch them face risks.

    • You are very brave. I can’t imagine how hard it must be to have a son in the military. Could you leave and do something to take your mind off it a bit such as take a walk or go to a movie? Any boss would surely understand.

      Thank you and your son for your service because you are in it as much as he is.

  2. Anonymous :

    Hugs

  3. Cute shoes! :

    I really like the shoes pictured with this dress! I want to try to wear more flats and these look dressy enough to work (while keeping my feet happy).

    Does anyone have thoughts or strong feelings on Boden’s shoes? My feet are a bit triangular — B width but with narrow heels that frequently can’t keep some shoes on.

    I have a love / hate relationship with Boden dresses — my stomach is not flat and I usually buy the Loft Julie pants, but somehow I always look pregnant in Boden dresses that I’ve got recently (but not so much with my ones that are a bit older). They are usually so cute and the quality is good (my ones from 5 years ago are still going strong).

    • I have similar feet and have had a good experience with boden shoes. I usually wear a 7, occasionally 7 1/2 and always get the 37 1/2. These look like they’d stay on given the straps.

    • Boden shoes run narrow in my experience. However I think the quality of the heels and flats are excellent. I have had trouble with their tall boots in the past due to my calves (they aren’t even that yuge).

    • I really like their flats, they run pretty true to size (I wear a 7.5/38) and are generally pretty comfy and a lot dressier/cuter looking than most other flats I can find. I try to wait for sales though, the 20% off deals make them a lot easier for me to justify.

    • fake coffee snob :

      These are slightly less formal than the pictured shoes so they might not work for your environment but I have similar-shaped feet and the “Bandolino Womens Ceferino” style on 6pm are some of the most comfortable office shoes I’ve ever worn. Really affordable, too.

  4. I usually have a work conference in Miami Beach in January. It’s in the big hotels that are beach front.

    I know y’all just had a hurricane (and more are coming). Is it realistic to think that it will occur still?

    Now that the kids are back at school I’m busy calendar-ing our lives / activities / work commitments and trying to figure out work travel on top of that while my husband has hurricane-related disaster recovery to deal with in his business and also has work travel to deal with, too.

    • Anonymous :

      Clarifying: Is your question that you’re wondering if the January conference will be cancelled because there might be a hurricane in January, or are you wondering the conference might be cancelled because the hotel sustained damage in Irma?

    • Anonymous :

      Damage from Irma (and whatever Jose / Katia may do later this month).

      The spousal schedule bargaining for away trips is such a thing in my life. If nature has already taken this out of my hands, it’s just easier.

      • Jose is spinning east so not likely to hit the continental US and Katia made landfall in Mexico so neither of those are a concern. The hurricane season has peaked and ends in November, so (fingers crossed; knock wood) it is not likely that another big one will hit Miami Beach. There is quite a bit of damage, but the damage to the hotels is primarily non-structural so January should be pretty safe. I expect the businesses will have replaced windows and cleaned up their lobbies by then.

        The Keys would be an entirely different story!

      • “Spousal schedule bargaining” is such a thing. I feel like organizing a NATO conference would be easier than making all the provisions for me to be out of town.

    • I would be very surprised if your conference is cancelled. Most of the big hotels in Miami Beach made out fine.

      (Keys, various parts of Caribbean, etc. would be a different story.)

  5. Can anyone recommend a good fabric shaver for getting rid of fuzzies?

  6. Paging: Tree :

    Paging Tree – I just saw your post from a few days ago asking about spas in Baltimore. I’m in Baltimore and would definitely recommend the spa in the The Four Seasons hotel, which is in Harbor East (swanky area right next to Inner Harbor). Amazing spa that gives you a day pass to their rooftop pool when you book services.

    I wouldn’t recommend About Faces. It’s not particularly luxurious and I think has gone a little down hill over the last few years. Outside of Four Seasons, there’s a Red Door Spa just outside the city (short drive, worth it) that is very serene and luxurious.

    Hope that helps!

  7. Anonymous :

    Looking for a silky (not necessarily real silk) white-ish (not necessarily exactly white) button down which is reasonably opaque. Has anyone tried the MM Lafleur Lagarde? How see-through is it? Any recommendations from other retailers? TIA!

    • Shopaholic :

      Have you checked Aritzia? I took a quick browse and there seem to be some white silk button downs – I haven’t tried them but I bought a white silk cami in the summer from there and it’s pretty opaque.

    • No experience with their white, but MM lafleur light colored shirts are generally see through so I wouldn’t get your hopes up

    • I have tried the Lagarde in MM’s popup and the fabric is quite thick and had a nice drape. I was seriously tempted to buy it but I don’t know if I need a white blouse in my closet right now.

      • do I need bifocals :

        I was just at a pop-up and my MM LaFleur stylists was wearing this blouse. It looked quite opaque. It fit her very well – she was plus sized. Very nice drape.

        I don’t think it was true white. More creme….. Unfortunately a lot of MM Lafleur light colors are too warm for my coloring and make me look ill. Otherwise I would have considered that blouse.

    • Lafayette 148 has good quality silk button fronts in a sort of almost white.

  8. PSA: get a professional headshot of you on internet, at least on LinkedIn.
    I am preparing a slide with all panel members for a key meeting and sadly realized all men had amazing professionally taken photos. For women, I spent most of my time cropping crazy necklaces and necklines out of random facebook photos.
    I have a decent photo but note to self: I’m scheduling a professional headshot asap

    • Anonymous :

      Or ask them for a headshot? If they gave you something with a “crazy” necklace just use it. Not your job.

    • Every woman I know has a nice professional photo (appropriate dress, etc.) on their LinkedIn page. I don’t think this is a gender thing.

    • I think this might be a problem specific to your group, though decent advice in general. I manage a conference for a male-dominated industry and have seen my fair share of terrible photos submitted for member elections, panels, keynotes, and programs. I have never received anything less than a professional headshot from a woman. To promote this professional advice/wise action, we offer students free professional headshots via our conference photographer.

      • That’s an amazing idea, I should propose it. Thanks for the tip

      • Senior Attorney :

        Oh my gosh. My son just graduated with his Master’s and his birthday is this Friday. I think I will give him a professional head shot for his birthday! Boom! Genius!

    • S in Chicago :

      I frequently have to work with headshots. It’s not a gender thing. But someone wearing a polo when everyone else has suit and tie is less eye-catching than someone wearing a strapless dress. For the love of Pete, if it’s important enough to feature you, than it’s important enough for you to take 15 min at the local Sears or Picture People instead of sending something from your vacation in Hawaii, you know?

    • Rainbow Hair :

      The ACC Annual Conference has free headshots with a professional. I got one done in SF with the accompanying frizzy hair, but it’s still really handy to have one. Hmmm I might actually ask our conference photog to take one of me this year… he did one two years ago but I was new-baby flustered and not looking my best.

      • Triangle Pose :

        Our local chapter of ACC has an annual all-day CLE conference a year where you can get fulfill just about your entire year’s CLE requirements in one day. At this conference they had priofessional headshot sign-ups. It was was a super nice free perk! I think ACC paid for the photographer, but it would be a great thing for a law firm sponsoring to do – better than a booth with some mints or othe run-of-the-mill swag.

        Rainbow Hair, are you going to the ACC Annual Meeting in D.C. next month? I am going for the first time and looking forward to it! Oct in D.C. should mean less frizz? Hopefully?

        • Rainbow Hair :

          Yes I am going! It coincides/conflicts with another industry thing, also in DC, so I am not sure which days I’ll be where, but I am definitely going. I found it pretty great, education-wise. And there’s a truly hilarious amount of swag, so if you know a kid who needs a rubber ducky, you’re in the right place!

          I wonder how many of us on this board are going. We should plan to meet up at one of the c*cktail events! (:

          • Triangle Pose :

            Yes, let’s do it! Closer to the date I’ll post on the board to see if we can do a meet-up. This is my first time going (I jad JUST moved in-house last year) and I’m pretty excited. My head is already spinning from all the events tacked on (the golf/spa classic on Saturday, law firm dinner, cocktails at the Smithsonian, my local chapter’s party Monday night) Gahhh!

          • Rainbow Hair :

            I am SO going to the Smithsonian drinks (if it doesn’t conflict with my other thing)!

            Tiniest brag: the first year I went, my then-new boss said to me, “I’m glad you’re going, so now I can go to some of the receptions since I’ll have someone to go with!” — I was like, “huh I was totally planning on going alone!?” It made me feel like a brave networker (which is not a way I usually feel).

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      And Ask a Manager has a post today about a (male) manager having a shirtless picture as his internal headshot LOL.

      • Oh you should see some of the pics people use on our internal system. High school photos, a field service tech with his hard hat on, arm on head, suggestively posed like it’s a hot construction worker calendar, people’s dogs, all sorts of amusing and unprofessional things!

        • Same! Everything from artful pose holding a coffee mug and gazing off into the distance to an outfit that veered very close to a naughty secretary costume. My husband works at a construction company and had to ask one of his managers to change his LinkedIn photo because it was a photo of the guy from 30 years ago when he was a cop sprawled out on the hood of his cop car.

      • I didn’t realize that was an option…making appointment now…

        • Blonde Lawyer :

          I’m sure you are replying to someone above but I love the idea of you making an appointment to get a professional shirtless head shot.

          • I agree with the Blonde Lawyer, but when I showed this p’ost to the manageing partner’s brother when he came into my office today, the manageing partner’s brother actually sugested that I get a shirtless head shot for my linked.in.com photo. I told him that would NOT be profesional, and he said that mabye not, but I could always share the picture with HIM. FOOEY! He is such a dirtbag! If his brother did not pay me so much money, I would punch him in the nose!

      • I once had a coworker turn one where he was shirtless and photoshopped blue.

        Can’t make that up.

  9. Somebody please talk me out of buying this dress. With the exception of the Phoebe Jersey Dress (which I purchased after hearing it recommended here – thanks!), Boden dresses are too high waisted and do not fit me. I know this. But this one is really tempting me.

    • Since this one doesn’t have a clearly defined waist, maybe it would work? Sorry, not what you needed to hear.

    • anon a mouse :

      I’ve had good luck buying the tall size of Boden dresses to get the waist at the right place, and then hemming to the appropriate length. A bit of extra work, but their measurements work well for this curvy pear.

    • Don’t buy it. I keep buying Boden dresses (bc the colors! the prints!) and with the exception of one, they do not work on me and the time for a refund has long passed. So now I am stuck with dresses with too high of a waist that I rarely use. Don’t do it!

      • Triangle Pose :

        What size – can I buy them from you? (offline – this board seems to hard pass on being used as a sales space)

    • Triangle Pose :

      Am I the only person who likes/fits Boden dresses? I see on this board a lot of women who say the Boden dresses fit terribly by their ottoman fabric dresses (Aurelia Ottoman in particular) are my favorite, go to works dresses. I get compliments on them all the time and can count on the fit.

      • Anonymous :

        I’m sadly one of the people they don’t fit, I’m pear shaped and every style of work dress I’ve tried from Boden leaves an extra fabric pooch of spare fabric around my lower stomach.

      • I’m wearing a Boden ottoman dress today! I can’t remember which one, but it has a backwards collar detail (looks like a turtleneck from the front). It’s not the *most* flattering dress I own – complicated seaming makes it difficult to tailor. But it is fairly flattering, hits my waist in the right spot, and is super comfortable!

        • Triangle Pose :

          I have that one too! Love it. I love the collar detail – I have it in the blue and the burgandy.

      • I really like them and they work for me! I get compliments on them all the time, but it seems their stuff it seriously hit or miss depending on body type.

      • Boden works well for me. I actually need that extra fabric around my stomach.

      • I love them. I wasn’t a dress peron before I moved to Boston, but they are perfect with tights in winter and they have the right amount of cool for summer. Probably half my work wardrobe is from there!

  10. BensonRabble :

    Thanks everyone who had advice on the Galapagos. Really appreciated the tips. I just came back and had an amazing time. Highly recommend if you can swing it!

    • Glad you had an awesome trip! Can I piggyback on this and ask anyone who has been with kids what you think the minimum age is for kids to enjoy? Our daughter is 4 and I’m guessing that’s too young but I would love to go in 2-3 years if people who have been think that’s doable.

      • Anon in NYC :

        Isn’t scuba diving part of a Galapagos trip? Obviously not necessary to scuba dive, but if that’s a desired activity I don’t think kids can do that until they’re 10.

        • Their are a lot of scuba restrictions in the Galapagos. At least when I looked a few years ago, there were only no scuba trips and all scuba trips

        • Anon at 10:04 :

          My husband and I don’t scuba dive (I can’t for health reasons) so we have no interest in doing that. We do want to snorkel, but if the snorkeling is too rough for a kid we would be ok taking turns going in the water so one of us can stay on board with our daughter. My husband would probably be ok sitting it out entirely, since snorkeling is much more important to me than him. I’ve heard the hikes can be challenging and I don’t think either DH or I would want to sit those out, but on the other hand I know a lot of 70+ year-olds who have done Galapagos cruises and my 4 yo already has more hiking stamina than my 70 year old parents, so that makes me think the hikes will be doable for her, at least within a couple of years.

      • I was in the Galapagos a few years ago and went on one of the bigger boats (about 90 people) because I thought that would be more family friendly. I was there in the summer and there were about 8 kids in the 10-17 age range. No one younger than that. And no scuba was involved, but plenty of great snorkeling.

      • Listen to this radio lab episode and re consider a trip there. In order to protect it people need to stop traveling there: http://www.radiolab.org/story/galapagos/

  11. How should a suit skirt fit? I ordered one from JCrew and think I’m between sizes on the skirt. The smaller size doesn’t have much give (but no “smiles” or pulling). I think it’s ok but am worried if I gain a pound it won’t fit anymore. But in the larger size I can fit two fists between my waist and the skirt, and it rides very low (and looks too long) because it’s too big. Should I keep the smaller size or could a tailor fix the larger size?

    • Neither. This suit doesn’t fit.

    • How’s the smaller size when you sit, or walk? If it’s a bit snug when you sit, or it shimmies up your hips when you walk, I’d go with the larger size and have a tailor nip it in ever so slightly to be the equivalent of the in between size.

    • I think I’d get the larger size and have it taken in at the waist.

    • I would go with the larger size and have a tailor nip it in a way that can be loosened should there be a need to do so.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        Same. You can even DIY it, probably, in a really simple way that would be easy to let out. It sounds like your hip/waist ratio is just a bit different than the one JCrew made the skirt for.

    • This is exactly my issue with J.Crew suiting, but unfortunately my budget doesn’t permit something more expensive where the fit would be better from the get-go. I always buy the larger size skirt and have it taken to my tailor. Works out great.

    • I just ordered suiting from Talbots and J.Crew based on this board’s recs. The J.Crew didn’t fit me well, but the Talbots did. I have an hourglassy figure, and the J.Crew was much too straight for me. My tailor was very impressed with the Talbots quality, too. (Had to have the skirt waist taken in…like I do with pretty much everything.)

  12. So excited for this dress, until I realized Boden’s petite options stop at a size 10. Any similar recommendations from other retailers in the 14-16 range?

    • Cornellian :

      I’m petite, and not plus sized, but I find Boden hems to be very high and their shoulders a bit narrow. So you might consider the regular (non-petite) size.

      • Thanks, I appreciate the feedback! Shopping for cusp sizes is so hard, because the fit of plus size clothing really changes compared to regular sizes. And the odds of finding a petite plus size that isn’t cut like a burlap sack is super slim.

        • I’d second this – I’m cusp sized and at 5’4″, just on the edge of petite. I’ve worn longs from Boden and they’re not in any way long on me (just like, slightly conservative business length), so I depending on your height, you could very well be OK in a regular length.

    • https://www.talbots.com/online/plus-size-petites/dresses/moss-crepe-shift-with-scalloped-neck-prdi43299/N-10189?conceptDim=4294966545&selectedConcept=Woman+Petites&isConceptFirst=true

      I dont know if this link will work, but Talbots has something very similar in plus size petitie. The “Moss Crepe Shift”. It’s really highly rated too.

  13. France in September :

    I’m always curious how people’s trips went after they post for recs here… so here goes (I was debating between a Paris-based trip or splitting the trip in two with some time elsewhere, and thanks to people’s advice here, decided stay based in Paris the whole time).

    Context: We lucked out with perfect weather (warmest at the start of the week, but very little rain), so ended up spending more time outside wandering/cafe-sitting, and less time in museums. We’d done a few of the “must sees” on a prior short visit (Notre Dame, Orsay, a bit of the Louvre, climbing the Eiffel) so you’ll note we didn’t revisit this time.

    High level itinerary, which actually left us feeling both relaxed AND energized/inspired as a result:

    Saturday – arrive in the morning, settle into Airbnb (we stayed on Ile de la Cite and loved it), short 1-hr nap, walked around the 6th for a bit and grocery shopped/nibbled, and had the first of many wonderful dinners. We chose our first restaurant, SeQuana, because (1) it was in our apartment building, and (2) it had great reviews for its tasting menu – you’re surprised by each course. LOVED it despite a 4-course meal actually taking 4 hours — we were glad we had napped or we would NOT have made it to the end.

    Sunday – Versailles. We caught the 7:57 train and wouldn’t recommend leaving any later from Paris; we got in line around 8:40 and it took us about 10 minutes of active line-movement (which starts at 9) to enter the palace, but the line doubled (possibly more than doubled) between 8:40 and 9. The palace is the palace, crowded and full of elbow-y tour groups, but we LOVED the gardens, fountains (which is why we went on a Sunday, the fountains were all operating in the afternoon), and renting bikes to visit the Trianon area/hamlet and ride around the Grand Canal. We also purchased “to go” sandwiches and wine and had a little picnic rest for lunch. I have newfound sympathy for M-A since the palace made me want to flee for a pretend farm too. Dinner: brought home crepes from one of the street-side windows on Ile St. Louis, and a very yummy Sancerre.

    Monday – much lower key. Slept in, visited the Conciergerie (underrated) and St. Chappelle in the morning (it was a beautiful sunny day and absolutely glorious inside), long cafe lunch, then Montmartre wandering. Dinner reservations at Verjus, which also does a 4-course surprise-you style meal. I was worried this would be overhyped since it came SO recommended, but it totally lived up to its reputation.

    Tuesday – low key again. Slept in, visited the Crypt and meandered through the 5th to the Pantheon, long cafe lunch, Rodin museum, Napoleon’s tomb, and an aborted attempt to see the WW1 and 2 area of the Army museum (according to the Museum Pass it should have been open late, but we were ushered out at normal closing time). Dinner: Tried the little cafe on the block behind our apartment, and loved it. Got to watch attorneys (we think) playing in a late-night bocce ball type tournament while we ate.

    Wednesday – Monet all day :) Orangerie morning, then train to Giverny for lunch and the afternoon. The gardens are stunning and WELL worth the trip. At dusk, we went on a Seine cruise (and BYO’d champagne since who wants to pay the inflated “champagne cruise” rate??), which is quite possibly the most touristy thing you can do but so beautiful! Dinner (very late, our cruise ended at 9:45) – went back to “our” cafe since Tuesday’s meal had been so fantastic.

    Thursday – low key again. Dior exhibit at the Decoratif in the morning (longer than expected but delightful), lunch reservations at Frenchie (another one I worried would be overhyped but it was most definitely not), Marmottan museum (very peaceful compared to the other museums as it’s not in Museum Central Corridor, though not as many Monets as the advertising makes you think they have), sat in a park and watched school kids come home and play on an old carousel. Wandered home and ate “in” for dinner (we were still full from lunch; hummus and crackers, bread and cheese, and rose to the rescue).

    Friday – Reims tour day. Up and at ’em to get our 8am TGV to Reims (whyyyyyyy can’t we have these in the US) and enjoyed a wonderful morning visiting small producers. {Side note: we bought two bottles along the way, and they made it home safe and sound in our checked bags! Was worried about the pressure differences, etc. but no issue.} I learned how to “saber” next to the church where Dom Perignon is buried… um, awesome. Quick lunch then we were on our own – we did the Veuve Clicquot tour (interesting contrast with the small guys and a good lesson in the power of branding) and then explored the Reims Notre Dame before catching our train home. Went back to “our” cafe for dinner.

    Saturday – last full day :( To our surprise, we both wanted to go back to the Army museum, so we first dropped by Champ de Mars for an Eiffel photo, then wandered the Rue Cler area and had one last leisurely cafe lunch before visiting. Walked home from there and got a little bouquiniste print souvenir (we found a little print that showed the view of Pont Neuf and our apartment!) along the way. Unfortunately, our dinner this evening was disappointing (Les Papilles) – had come highly recommended as “authentic” but the food was just mediocre. Wine selection, however, was fantastic.

    Sunday – have to leave and I actually cried. One last long walk along the Seine and then to the airport with us. We had half a bottle of wine left so we brought it with us and had rose with our salads before going through security, ha!

    Until next time……

    • This sounds fabulous! I read this and actually changed my mind about not returning to the same place for vacation because I would love to experience this sort of trip without being stressed out about seeing the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, etc., and instead focus on more relaxing activities. Glad to hear that you had a good time.

    • Amelia Bedelia :

      THank you for posting this! I’ve actually visited Paris six times with my husband (we stay in the same apartment each time and have “our” cafe/boulangerie/market, etc.,) and you have STILL listed a few things i want to do next time! THis is why I love Paris. Your week sounds perfect — interesting yet still relaxing with room to wander and chat and eat and smooch.

      thanks!

    • This sounds amazing! Thanks for sharing your itinerary and your recs.

    • Sounds so lovely! I wish we’d have as much time in Paris but we’ll have to split our time between Paris and Lyon yo see family. If short on time, would you say Giverny is a better side trip compared to Versailles?

      • France in September :

        Yes, for sure. Giverny is doable in a long-ish half day (we caught a 12:15ish train there, and I believe the 5:45 back to Paris) and left me feeling refreshed and inspired — the gardens are a riot of color and unique plants in one area, and in the other, total serenity near the water lilies. I enjoy Impressionist art so loved recognizing many of the perspectives that Monet used.

        Versailles was great to see / experience, but it is an Exhausting Day trying to take it all in.

  14. Anon Lawyer :

    MM LaFleur review – I got my second Bento yesterday and loved 5/6 pieces. I’m a straight size 16, and they send me XL in tops and +1 in dresses. The XL in tops are maybe every so slightly too small but work; the +1 in dresses fit like a dream.

    Jardigan in ecru – I already have one in black and love it, so decided it was worth keeping the ecru too even though I don’t normally wear light neutrals.

    Pauline dress in galaxy blue – I wasn’t going to keep this because I have another dress in galaxy blue but it looked amazing with the ecru jardigan (whereas the aditi dress doesn’t quite work with the jardigans in my opinion). It gave it the perfect amount of shape. On its own it could use a little more definition I think.

    Koi dress in plum – not as formal due to the shape, but the color and fabric are beautiful. I’m wearing it today for a casual day in the office, and it feels great. That makes it a bit of an indulgence, since I’m mostly buying MM LaFleur stuff for client meetings and the like, but I liked it enough that I thought it was worth it.

    Noho skirt in crackle – they sent me +1 in this too and it fits perfectly. I wasn’t impressed with the crackle pattern when I took it out of the box, but loved it on so it’s worth trying if you’re on the fence. A nice basic skirt, and I think it’ll look good with the Denevue and Fey tops I have.

    Fey top – I was glad I read the advice here to give a careful look to this. At first I thought it was too form fitting, but decided the draping and ruching were actually flattering after all. The black obscures some of the details a bit, but should work in a variety of settings.

    Etsuko dress in claret – the color was pretty but this was the sole miss for me. I’m chesty and the belt went right under my b**bs making me look really disproportionate. I can see how this would be a nice dress for less top-heavy figures though.

    • Thanks for the review! I’ve been looking at that Noho skirt in crackle. Can you comment on the length and now tall you are?

    • Nelly Yuki :

      Based on your reviews, I found an upcoming pop-up in my city and I am SO EXCITED. (And terrified for my budget.)

      • Anon Lawyer :

        The budget challenge is real. I am now on a shopping ban until Thanksgiving. Have fun!

      • If I can make a suggestion, because it’s something I really wish I had known before visiting the popup.

        Write down what styles and SIZES you like, for things you are going to consider buying later. I took photos of myself in everything and assumed the sales person was tracking styles and sizes. I can deduce the style name of the garments by comparing against the website, but I have no record of which size fits me well.
        It might be less important if you are US-based because purchases and returns are easier. But for us international people, I have limited opportunities to buy – either while traveling or used – and my main motivation for visiting the popup was to minimize the risk of returns.

        • I really enjoyed the pop-up experience, but I second this advice. I thought the stylist was putting things on a “wish list” but when I logged into my account nothing was there. I hope mm lafleur one day has a feature that lets you see at a glance what you have, what you tried and did not like, and what you are wishlisting. For such pricey pieces I feel like that could be a helpful feature.

  15. Real Real Consignment Experience? :

    Does anyone here have any experience consigning items with The Real Real? I have a couple of David Yurman confetti bangles that I just don’t wear anymore, and would like to get back a portion of what I paid for them. I saw that Extra Petite did a review where she had a positive experience, but I am still a bit skeptical about sending these beautiful bracelets through the mail to The Real Real.

    • Good experience, they handle everything and you get some money. Especially if you wouldn’t otherwise sell them, I’d go for it.

    • I tried Poshmark and have had middling success. A few name brand/designer items sold very quickly, but the rest is just lingering. On the bright side: it doesn’t leave my possession until it sells.

    • I’m obsessed with the Real Real. I’ve only purchased – haven’t consigned – but everything has been handled beautifully.

    • I sold all of my David Yurman & Tiffany pieces on the Real Real. It’s amazing. Do it.

    • I have bought and sold on it. I avoid poshmark because the realreal is SO MUCH better and easier. Love it. Also if you are in NYC you can take jewelry to a showroom and get it appraised in person.

    • Real Real Consignment Experience? :

      Wow! Thank you all for the feedback. I just requested a shipping label. I’ll let you know how it goes!

  16. Betty White :

    Any recommendations for a relatively affordable standing desk? I work from home and would like to get one for some back pain I have, but don’t want to spend a fortune in case it isn’t right for me. I would prefer to have something that doesn’t take up a lot of room on my existing desk, but could move to my laptop on a stand-alone desk. Thanks!

  17. France in September :

    Ugh, I have a long post recapping my Paris trip and it’s in moderation. Attempting to repay everyone for their advice by sharing our trip!

  18. Does anyone have a cheesey blowup Halloween yard decoration they really like? I have young kids and they LOVE them and with reusing each year seems not crazy… stores in my area aren’t carrying them so want to order off of Lowes/Home Depot/Target/Amazon whatever. Any ideas?!

    • I would break all my rules about blow-up decorations if I found one with Linus, Snoopy, and the Great Pumpkin.

      (Sorry, that’s not remotely helpful!)

    • I live in an apartment, but if you could get this guy, I think it would be amazing. http://www.homedepot.com/p/8-ft-W-x-9-ft-H-Stay-Puft-72535X/302848185

    • Nothing to offer but encouragement here. My husband won’t let me get the dinosaur blowup I want so I fully support this.

    • There is someone a neighborhood over who has a pac man eating ghosts and I’ve been trying to find it for two years!

    • We don’t have inflatables (yet?) but we go all out for Halloween. Craft stores like Hobby Lobby and Michaels have a surprising amount of decor- maybe they have inflatables too.

  19. Rothys Insole? :

    Rothys insole suggestions? I finally purchased a pair of Rothys and while they are very comfortable, I need some arch support. In the past I’ve used those little sticky Dr. Scholls arch support things but they won’t stick in this shoe. I’ve tried some other more substantial insoles and they are all too big and don’t really fit. Does anyone have something they like that has worked?

    • In-House in Houston :

      I don’t have arch support recs but I’m curious how Rothy’s sizing is. I have very narrow feet so I thin this would be a good option for me. But I run between a 9 & 9.5 so I’m reluctant to buy but then have to return. Thanks!

      • Rothys Insole? :

        IIRC, returns are free so it might be worth a try if you’re curious. I usually wear an 8 or 8.5. The 8 fit me in the round toe, 8.5 fit me in the pointy toe.

        • Wildkitten :

          I have pointy and should have sized up – you can save $20 with this link: https://go.referralcandy.com/share/G2S2LWN (I’d also get $20, which I’d use to buy the larger size, sigh.)

      • Chicago Attorney :

        I think they run very true to size, though they will stretch a hair between washes. I was the exact same size as you, but post-pregnancy I’m solidly a 9.5, and I think the 9.5 round toe is the most comfortable shoe I’ve ever worn.

    • Pedag sells very sticky supports.

  20. Midwest Mama :

    Help. Where can I get Boden style at a lower cost? I love this dress (and many of their offerings) but they’re outside of my budget. If it’s on SUPER sale I can swing it but even “regular” sales are high for me. Sadly, I don’t live near any of their famed sample sale locations.

  21. Boden’s fit really confuses me. I adore the styles and have two dresses (one of them being the Phoebe). When I first try them on, I fall in love. It’s only later that I notice they look borderline frumpy on me and maybe too casual for the office. Maybe it’s the length? I’m actually on the tall side (5’8″) but Boden dresses hit me right at the knee. Or I might not be choosing the right styles/fabrication.

    • I’ve noticed mine seem to kind of stretch out over the day, so when I first put it on, it looks great, but by the end of the day the fit is kind of weird and frumpy looking.

      • Ah, maybe that’s it! I also have a tendency to choose the loudest colors and patterns, which doesn’t help my cause.

    • BeenThatGuy :

      I tend to throw a belt on with all my Boden dresses (I’m also 5’8″). It brings the hem line up ever so slightly and defines my waist. Thus less frumpy.

  22. Jeggings recommendations? I am typically a size 6-8, and curvy with full thighs and butt. I now work at a place with a casual dress code, and I would love for my fall/winter outfit staples to be comfy oversize sweaters with a fun scarf, soft and comfy jeggings, and boots. The boots, sweaters, and scarves I have on lockdown. Jeggings, not so much.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Old Navy has these “High-Rise Rockstar Built-In-Sculpt Jeans for Women” — I don’t find that they “sculpt” anything but they’re pretty substantial while still moving with my body. The high waist I love because there’s zero chance of any skin showing in the back. And the price is right if you get ’em with a coupon!

      • Late to the thread, but in case you’re still reading…

        I’m plus sized with big thighs and calves. I just bought Old Navy jeans over the holiday weekend bc my new client is a start up and ULTRA casual. They came in the mail yesterday, and I’m wearing a pair today. Really liking them so far!
        Best part? They were on 50% off sale ($15!!) but even if they weren’t, if you dont like them, what’s $30 on the quest for a holy grail?

        Also, NYDJ jeggings have worked well on me in the past (but if your thighs rub together a lot, they tend to wear out)

      • Seconding the Old Navy Rockstar jeggings. They fit well, are substantial, don’t lose their shape for a few wears, and are available in several colors/washes.

    • They’re not cheap, but I got the AG legging jeans and good heavens are those suckers worth every penny. I typically take an 8 in pants and the 29 fits perfectly.

    • I just ordered some jeggings from Costco. Hoping they’ll work for $15! Will report back.

    • Topshop! Joni Jeans and Jamie Jeans are great, and you can try on at Nordstrom

    • Hue brand is great

  23. What are the trendy nail polish colors that you’re planning to wear for fall?

    • Holo, navy, nude with glitter, olive green

      • Rainbow Hair :

        I want to wear all holo all the time.

        OH do you think that I can get holo gels? Or do you think that the whole topcoat interference thing will happen?

        Man, nude with glitter and olive also sound great. So excited for fall nails!

        • Nelly Yuki :

          Help! Is Holo a color? Essie? I am only getting all these glittery hologram-y things when I search, or maybe that is what we’re talking about?

          • In-House in Houston :

            Ditto…tried to find it but just found same thing you found.

          • Rainbow Hair :

            I am definitely talking about hologram nuttiness. Like RAINBOW HALO on my fingers all the time.

          • Holo = holographic, and it’s super trendy right now. Watch Simply Nailogical’s YouTube channel if you want to see it in all its glory.

            A lot of holo (particularly the silver based kind) can be over the top flashy for work, but not all of it. I have two pinkish/nude holo colors (ILNP’s Champagne Blush and Color Club’s Cosmic Fate, both from Amazon) that I consider “stealth fabulous.” Under my office fluorescent lights they both look like a fairly neutral rose gold color, but in direct sunlight they are a rainbow unicorn magical glitter extravaganza and make me super happy. I’m definitely thinking about trying to find a darker red holo for fall.

    • I don’t know if it’s trendy, but I currently have Essie’s go-go-Ginza and love it. It’s sort of a grayish lavender and very neutral but still interesting.

    • the essie 90’s collection! NCLA fall gel. I cannot WAIT for fall nails!

  24. No hablo espanol :

    Anyone learn a language in their mid-30s? My child is just starting out in a language immersion school and I want to support Spanish at home. Took it in highschool and college, so I have a basic understanding, but it’s been a long time since I’ve used it. Any suggestions?

    • Not personal experience, but my brother is using Duolingo to learn some Spanish. He started before a vacation to Spain and has kept it up. His vocabulary is pretty impressive!

      • My son just started daycare that instructs in Italian and English (I admit, we went there because there was no waiting list and it was really clean and nice -we are not Italian). I am learning Italian over DuoLingo so that by the time he is actually speaking (he’s only 1), I might know some too!

        • No hablo espanol :

          OMG, what an opportunity! I always wanted to learn Italian. Maybe that’s next…lol

          • Anonymous :

            I took high school Spanish then switched to Italian in college. 10+ years later I conjugate Spanish verbs into Italian forms >_<

    • I highly recommend Duolingo – a free app.

    • AlexisFaye :

      DuoLingo is grrrrreat. Find another family in the school with native spanish speakers who want to practice their english. Have multi-lingual playdates. Watch netflix in spanish. Go to spanish festivals. Travel in spanish (we spent a month in Mexico City last summer, and I put my kids into summer camp there. Automatic immersion). If you want something tamer (but super expensive) we have loved this camp (summer camp in spanish, with weeks in summer or weekends in fall): http://www.concordialanguagevillages.org/youth-languages/programs/spanish-family-programs

      • Anonymous :

        I went to Concordia for several years in middle school, and I LOVED it! I went to the French camp, and my brother did Voyageurs, which was the camping-and-canoeing version of the French camp. The food is delicious and authentic, and most of the counselors are native speakers, and will teach you a lot about their home countries.

    • Third for Duolingo. I also put a game on my phone that has conversations pop-up in the language I’m attempting to learn. You definitely have to read the things for it to work, since some of them are more image based, but it’s been a fun and low-key way to learn some new vocab and refresh what I already know.

      • No hablo espanol :

        Are you guys fniding Duolingo helpful for actual conversational spanish? I’m concerned that it isn’t structured enough to be able to meaningfully communicate. If the goal is for child to become fluent, I’d like to as well.

        • Fluency is a long term goal. Duolingo is one, perhaps a few, steps. Eventually you are going to want some sort of immersion. I’d look for conversational groups (“Spanish table” type things), conversation partners (a Spanish speaker who wants to improve their English; talk for a half hour in each language) and think about taking vacations in a Spanish-speaking environment where you can combine classroom instruction with language immersion.

          • Agree that fluency is a long term goal as well, but not what I’m specifically looking for right now. I’m trying to get comfortable with it again and I feel like in that regarding it’s working. I remember this morning as I was driving seeing the word “Exit” and automatically translating it to French. When I look to move towards fluency, I’ll probably sign up for a class somewhere.

    • Anonymous :

      I’m sort of learning DH”s mother tongue at the same time as the kids.

      We do all TV/Ipad games in the target language. Sesame Street and Dora are particularly great (side note that Dora in other European languages learns English not Spanish)

    • Apparently I’m the only one who found DuoLingo unhelpful. I use the Michel Thomas cds in my car and really like them for Spanish.

  25. Is anyone actually going to read Clintons book? From the interviews given seems like as usual the loss was everyone’s fault but hers. Why is she doing this sour grapes tour rather than retiring, pursuing something in the private sector etc? And I say this as someone who voted for her.

    • IMHO, I don’t think many people will read it now, but I think people might pick it back up a decade or so from now. I’m thinking of people who came of age during this past election, but don’t necessarily remember much of what she was like as First Lady, Senator, and Secretary of State, let alone even before that. I read Hard Choices, but don’t plan on reading this one.

    • I don’t plan to read the book, because it would be the opposite of self-care for me, but I’m so sick of people jumping all over Hillary for telling her story. She made history as the first female major party nominee for president and a plurality of Americans voted for her. Many of them were shell-shocked and devastated on election night. It makes sense that she was too, and that she wants to talk about her experiences in this historic campaign and her shock that the country could vote for such a despicable human being. And from what I’ve heard of the book, she owns up to many of her own mistakes, but also points blame at external factors (Russia, Comey, Bernie Sanders). From everything I’ve read from objective third party sources (e.g. 538), her assertions that there’s blame on many sides (and that but for Comey’s Oct. 28 letter she would have won) are accurate as best as we can ever predict “what if”.

      • +1

      • nasty woman :

        Same. All of the blow back to this book just sounds like “sit down and shut up, woman!” to me. Like we haven’t been reading think piece after think piece about “what happened.” Every op-ed connects back to “this is why Trump won!” (Even Ross Douthat’s inane screed about campus r*pe culture in the NYT today does this.) But oh no, HRC wants to share her perspective and all the sudden we need to move on, and there’s no point in trying to figure out what happened (????)

        Like it’s really that unreasonable to suggest that in a process as complex as a national election in a large, politically polarized country there could be more than one factor that contributed to the outcome….

      • Rainbow Hair :

        +1

        I heard an interview with her last night, and the question was something like, “would you have done anything different?” and she laughed and said, “oh so many things!” (paraphrasing, obviously). I liked her tone on that.

      • Marshmallow :

        All of this. So many losing presidential candidates have written books and gone on to continue their political careers, but of course HRC is the one getting flak for doing the same thing.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Yep.

      • Yes, agreed. And I listened to a recent interview with her and it seems like part of her intention is to outline where we still struggle with misogyny and sexism and help those who come after her to make further progress.

    • Yes I will read it, and the news is cherry picking comments to make her sound like a poor loser. She does acknowledge her own faults but those moments are apparently not newsworthy.

      And she’s not wrong about most of her points.

      If you read the comments on any article about her, which I don’t recommend, they are absolutely drenched in misogyny, not to mention some of the articles themselves. Any book written by a male candidate would not have had this kind of reception.

      • Yeah it would. Have never read a book by Al Gore or Mitt Romney or any other loser either. Bc it’s over — who really cares what happened or why it happened. Why not move along? As for money, she’s already very wealthy — she isn’t doing this to pay her bills.

        • Really. Al Gore’s book was and is a top best seller.

        • nasty woman :

          Yeah heaven forbid we attempt to understand what went on so that we can make better choices in the future. TONS of people care what happened and why– so that we can best move forward and *improve things.* I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you.

          Why do you think that moving along means refusing to think critically about what happened?

      • Bernie’s book is hardly getting any press.

    • I think this is an attempt to capitalize on the “female empowerment” trend that was going on earlier this year – think Pantsuit Nation and Women’s Marches etc. What she (and her editors?) missed was the shift from simple empowerment/ feeling the unfairness to a focus on action – her book would have been much more effective if it dealt with the “what happened” for a chapter or two, but then changed into “what should happen” and she started to outline what she thinks the Democractic party needs to do in order to win next time. Basically make it a “you could have had THIS as president.” where she outlines everything she would have worked to do, plus everything she now thinks has to happen knowing what we know about the disenfranchised white Republicans and Russian influence and North Korea.

      • Please. Srsly? Just no.

      • nasty woman :

        Yeah makes sense to demand that HRC outline what she would have done (as if she didn’t do that on her campaign website) and then use her strong policy wonk skills (which this country rejected) to draft our sorry *sses a blueprint on how to fix the world.

        Seems like a reasonable request.

        Also, just lol at “disenfranchised white republicans.”

        • Call them what you want, but they were clearly underestimated by basically everyone in this election (including me). We also didn’t have nearly the details we have now about Russia and N Korea.

          I totally agree it’s not fair to ask her to outline a blueprint, but that would have been a more effective book. Man or woman, reading a candidate’s opinion on why they lost an election just isn’t compelling. Updating her policies, talking about what she would have done differently given the new facts, that would be new information. Writing a book blaming Comey and Sanders is old news at this point.

          I like her a lot and voted for her and still wish she would have won at least once a day, but this weird idolization is too much. She’s still a human who can make mistakes, and people are still free to express negative opinions. Being a female doesn’t excuse her from that.

          • nasty woman :

            How do you know it would have been a more “effective” book? I’m sure if she did this people would be screeching “you lost! Stop telling us what to do!! Nag nag naggy woman.” Truly don’t understand why you want to insist that HRC should have put out some policy manual- which people clearly weren’t interested in during the election. It’s weird to me that you keep harping on this. Just because you don’t think her story is compelling doesn’t mean that it isn’t-I for one would love to hear it from the horse’s mouth, and am going to go see her speak.

            “Being a female doesn’t excuse her from that.”

            Literally no one said this. All I’m saying is let the woman choose her own message.

    • do I need bifocals :

      Money?

      She’ll make a lot.

      Then again, she’ll make a fortune on the lecture, so why bother with a book.

      I think writing it was probably cathartic for her.

    • A candidate is never going to do a great job explaining why he or she lost an election. That jobs is going to be done better by independent voices, who are more objective and have no agenda aside from explaining the forces at play during an election. I’m also not a huge fan of ‘horse race’ coverage of politics, where the media covers polling numbers more than candidate policy announcements. Both are good reasons for me not to read this book (but good reasons to read other HRC books).

    • Hahahaha. Yes. I’m going to read it. Because I find it interesting.

    • I’ve bought it & am planning on reading it. Late 20s – remember the Clintons during my childhood & voted for her.

      Mainly – questions like this give me pause, because a lot of folks who have ran & lost (who all happen to be men) have written these types of books & we don’t usually have this narrative surrounding them on whether or not they should or if they should just move along. Their books are taken seriously. Mainly because we are not used to having a woman give this perspective…because it hasn’t happened yet.

      Also, of COURSE news sources are going to feature the most click bait-y, gossipy details to run. Her publishers may have only sent those out – better sells that way. She has a lot of knowledge and can still help encourage & empower other women to run for office. On NPR she said something alongs the lines of about a dozen R senators are in vulnerable districts that overwhelmingly voted for her and that’s where she sees herself doing work in the future. I have admired her work for as long as I can remember, don’t think she’s a perfect person, but still want to hear what she has to say. Campaigns are strange creatures where the person steering the ship isn’t always in control.

      • Cornellian :

        Agreed.

        I am interested to hear about why she didn’t pursue the universal income idea she was so interested in as a basis for her campaign.

        • Because it’s socialist day dreams and she’d have lost even worse?

          • Cornellian :

            From a realpolitik (and not a policy wonk ) perspective, day dreams seem to have carried the day for both Sanders and Trump. I’m not saying I love that’s what our politics have become, but it would have been an interesting strategic choice, especially given the criticisms of HRC as having no big picture ideas or motivating ideas.

          • Anonymous :

            Sanders lost by like 4 million votes. To her. So… at least some people cared about pragmatism.

        • Anonymous :

          She talked a little bit about the basic income idea on Ezra Klein’s podcast

      • “a dozen R senators are in vulnerable districts that overwhelmingly voted for her and that’s where she sees herself doing work in the future”

        She’s shining the light in a particular way that looks favorable to her. In 2018 there will be 33 elections for senate seats. Of those, 23 are currently held by D, 2 independents who caucus with D (including Sanders), and 8 by R. Those numbers make it tough for the Senate to flip.

    • If you don’t like it, then don’t read it.

    • Maybe she doesn’t care what you think? Don’t buy it, don’t read it.

      • I love the I have no f_ck$ left to give Hillary most of all.

      • Ooohhh burn. I’d be soooo concerned if HRC didn’t care about me. Lol. She needs to move on with life. She’s giving interviews about how she spends her time yelling at the TV bc she could do everything better than Trump. She probably could but it didn’t work out that way so why not move on with life??

        • I’m so glad you’re so concerned for what she needs to do with her time, but since she’s a smart rich powerful woman I’m sure she’s capable of deciding what she needs to do just fine. God forbid the woman genuinely cares about the country.

        • Anonymous :

          I think half the country is spending all its time yelling at the TV that it could do things better.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      I am absolutely going to read it.

      Many women I know, including myself, have tickets to see her speak later this month.

    • Anonymous :

      Love HRC and so excited to read the book!

    • Anonymous :

      I voted for her because I couldn’t vote for Bernie. When it emerged that many dirty tricks had been employed by the Clinton campaign to knock him out of the race, I lost any sympathy I had for her. I honestly believe if the ticket had been Trump vs Sanders the outcome of the election would have been different.

      She has the right to tell her story. I have the right not to be interested and not to buy the book. I’m interested in looking forward, not back. I’ll also just say, I hope she is not planning a run in 2020 because I am just one of many women I know who will lean heavily on my local Democratic Party operatives to prevent her from becoming the nominee again. She had her shot and she lost. The only thing to pay attention to now is how we can beat Trump in 2020 with a viable populist candidate who cares about relating to and reaching out to working people. If that’s not the conversation people want to have, I’m not interested.

      • Anonymous :

        So delusional.

        She is not running again. She’s been very clear on that.

        • Not only has she been very clear that she is not running again, that doesn’t happen. Re-nominating the losing nominee hasn’t happened since the 60s. Won’t happen now. It’s a little delusional to plan your resistance to it when it is literally not even a glimmer of an option.

    • Have you read the excerpts? I went from thinking, there’s no way I want to relive that horrible election, to being really excited about it. I’m definitely going to read it. Hillary is a good writer. I enjoyed her first book and this looks like it will be great. (Plus I want to stick it to Trump by helping make Hillary a best selling author and remind him that he lost the popular vote.)

    • Excel Geek :

      This:
      http://www.elle.com/culture/career-politics/a12227624/hillary-clinton-isnt-going-anywhere-and-im-here-for-it-all/

      • Anon in NYC :

        Yep.

        • Anonymous :

          Absolutely looking forward to buying and reading her book. We need to understand how we got to this sad state today. The criticisms of her allegedly blaming others for her loss are so overblown. She takes responsibility, but it’s also clear there were factors outside her control. It’s common sense to highlight them!

  26. So this shirt from Kohl’s is my ideal work shirt. (3/4 sleeves, high wide neck, easy care fabric) My only issue is that it is pretty cheap and tends not to last through too many wears. Any ideas of other shirts similar to this? https://m.kohls.com/product/prd-2913644/womens-apt-9-button-accent-top.jsp?prdPV

    • A t-shirt option that’s in the same vein is Nordstrom’s Caslon Ballet Neck Cotton & Modal Knit Elbow Sleeve Tee has a similarly wide neck and similar sleeve length. The Nordstrom photo shows the neck coming pretty low in the front; that’s not the case on the couple that I own, though obviously the style may have changed in the last year or so. Also, FWIW, the product info says to order one size up; that’s probably right if you want more drape, but I wear it in my normal size and find it to be fitted in flattering but not office-inappropriate way (drape is often not a good look on me, YMMV).

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Not higher quality, but cheapAF is a Target version of this shirt. “Women’s Boatneck T-Shirt – Merona”

      Ooh right now they’re actually on sale for like $5 online so I might be stocking up.

    • Marshmallow :

      Try the Amy or Vicky blouses at Amour Vert. Drastically on the other side of the quality spectrum with a similar shape.

    • Me too. I have the one from Target and it’s pretty decent but a little clingy. I also have similar ones from TJ Maxx – a brand called Grace. I haven’t looked for it online but I have found things like that in discount stores from time to time. Banana Republic and Gap also have boatnecks periodically. I also have the caslon one and like it a lot.

      Rainbow Hair – Not to be stalkery but I recall from a comment you made recently that we are similarly shaped (not too many people share our bra size so it stood out to me!). I find it interesting that we both gravitate to this sort of shirt when all the fashion bloggers in the world would tell us to go v-neck or some sort of lower neck, but I think a boat neck nicely balances out my bustiness. Glad I am not the only one!

      • Rainbow Hair :

        Ha, yeah! I find crew neck (or god forbid an unadorned turtleneck) make me look… well, it’s not ideal. But the sort of wider shoulders of a boat neck give some good balance?

    • Is it a knit? Someone responded to my post yesteday recommending the Eileen Fisher 3/4 sleeve ballet neck t shirt as being made of a thick fabric that most manufacturers don’t offer any more, and not requiring a cami underneath. I ordered one. You can find them on sale in seasonal colors at the end of the season.

    • Thanks for the ideas! Ideally it would be more of a flowy shirt and not a knit. I may look into the Amour Vert one. You can count me in on team busty who also can’t seem to make vnecks work.

  27. Morning two of waking up with a headache. Can’t wear pajama-like clothes like yesterday though. Blergh

    In in the SF Bay Area (Berkeley.) We have a low pressure thingy happening, causing weird weather. Can that cause headaches?

    • Yes – barometric pressure changes are definitely considered triggers for migraine by neurologists who specialize in headache.

      • Yup – barometric pressure changes are a top 3 trigger for my migraines. Not a good long-term solution (can cause rebound headaches), but you could try sudafed.

      • Yep, it’s a migraine trigger for me.

    • Thanks both. Good to know. I do get migraines but I think of them as the classic Visual aura/sensitive to light things and not the dull headaches I’ve been waking up with.

      I used some nasonex – will try to get my hands on some real show-me-your-drivers-license Sudafed later today.

    • Anonymous :

      A rapid barometric pressure drop will trigger a migraine for me, every time.

      I watch the weather and if a storm is moving in, I’ll make sure and have my abortive medications with me and I take them as soon as I feel even a twinge. Do you have good meds? If not, it’s time for a visit to the doctor to discuss options.

      If you’re really suffering, your doctor may be willing to give you a Toradol injection. That’s my last-resort option if nothing else works. Do not ask for this if you don’t know your doctor well and have previously been seen by him/her for migraine treatment – they’ll think you are drug-seeking.

      • Thanks. I have been to a neurologist for the classic migraines but he was pretty dismissive.

        Because my migraines are mostly aura (20 minutes ish) he told me that vaso constrictors are contraindicated and wouldn’t prescribe them to me. He recommended two Aleve and an espresso.

        I usually do that and just suffer through. But my migraines are usually not multi-day events like whatever this thing is.

        • I just finished a multi day migraine and they’re the worst. Pain meds don’t really work for it (plus risks of rebounds, etc.). Make sure you’re taking care of yourself and eating/sleeping well. I also find that spicy foods can temporarily stop the pain (Hot Tamales work as a snack). Ginger tea or chews can be helpful. I read once that celery juice helps migraines and thought it had to be fake, but it actually did help me. Good luck!

        • Anon – caffeine is a vasoconstrictor and extra caffeine can cause rebound. You didn’t say how frequent your migraines are, or whether you are taking preventive medication to help, but as a longtime migraine sufferer who has a compassionate and understanding neurologist (headache specialist, not general neurology), I’m sorry to hear yours was “dismissive”. There may be a better MD out there for you.

    • That’s big trigger for me as well. Magnesium supplements have helped a lot, along with Sudafed and a humidifier.

  28. Does anyone have suggestions for a blazer that won’t make me feel like Working Girl? My office is pretty casual so I don’t want to wear a formal suit jacket, but I want something a little more structured than my boring cardigans. In Canada, so no MM Lafleur jardigans here sadly.

    • Go with a jersey/ponte blazer or something without shoulder pads.

    • Aritzia- the Chevalier jacket. I have 3, wear them constantly, very flattering

    • Is this too casual for your office?
      https://www.shopbop.com/peppin-drapey-jacket-bb-dakota/vp/v=1/1542817305.htm

    • Maybe something like this?
      http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/olivia-moon-knit-blazer-regular-petite/3503617?origin=category-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=GREY%2F%20BLACK%20STRIPE#select-swatch

    • A few years ago Gap had something called the “Academy” blazer – I wear it ALLLLL the time to my casual office. It’s ponte and cozy and warm and perfect. Not sure if they have anything similar now but it’s also machine washable (or at least I do machine wash it).

    • Thanks all – I am sized out of Aritizia but do have a Nordstrom in my city so I will take a look there.

    • lawsuited :

      Aritzia has some blazer-adjacent toppers that would fit the bill. I see the Wilfred Chevelier jacket in particular a lot.

  29. ID-badge wearers, it’s time I replaced the clouded plastic (with tape!) hanging from a black cord that I’ve used for too many years to say here. Looking for simple, preferably delicate gold (if only there was rose gold!) lanyard with badge & hook for keys. Recommendations?

    • me too!

    • caphillstyle linked to some lanyards today

      • Nudibranch :

        As per Cap Hill, they were from Charming Charlie. CC seems to have a ton of options for lanyards.

    • Tech Comm Geek :

      There are a ton of sellers on Etsy providing things like this. I have one a friend made me that I love. I’m contemplating a custom badge reel from a shop on Etsy. She finds vintage costume jewelry and glues it to a badge reel.

  30. Just landed my first biglaw job and I’m starting next week. I’m a junior associate in NYC. Any advice for getting started on the right foot? I plan to get all my suits dry cleaned and do a month’s worth of meal prep this weekend.

    • My biggest piece of advise, as a 4th year, is to save every penny you can. Seriously. Don’t get pulled into the whole lifestyle inflation. That way, when you’re (potentially) miserable in 2-3 years, you can just leave.

    • Prepare to be there at all hours and do not let on that your meal prep is soo important. I.E. you’re in the office at 6:30 pm even if the whole day has been slow, then if someone calls for something (bc things move down the chain of command which means substantive work sometimes lands on juniors’ desks at 7 pm), you say — yes I can have that to you tonight/in the morning/whatever. DO NOT do the thing of not being around when the phone rings bc you’ll go home and eat dinner and work from home and when the mid/senior calls, don’t ask if you can go work from home. Grab dinner at the office and do the work. Not saying that you have to do this forever but for the first few months until you get to know the people you’re working for, I’d make an effort to be around even if means being bored all day and then having to work at night (often happens when a ton of juniors start in Sept/Oct). The reputation you establish for reliability, interest etc. in the first few months of biglaw often sticks with you your entire tenure at the firm and things like work from home — while they are available — people do raise their eyebrows when a 1st yr jumps all over those as if they need them bc they are sooo burnt out.

      • +1. Meal prep is always advised here before starting Big Law, but I found it to be a big waste of time because I was never home to eat the meals I’d prepped. I would focus instead on locating reasonably healthy (and affordable if that’s a concern) takeout/delivery options near work.
        And yes, SAVE SAVE SAVE all the money. Even if you end up loving Big Law, it is so freeing to have your loans paid off and to know you have the flexibility to jump into a “lifestyle” job whenever you want.

        • Triangle Pose :

          Curious, couldn’t you just bring the meals you prepped to the office? I was never home when I was in BigLaw either, but if I made the effort to prep, I would just bring and eat when everyone else was eating take-out from their desk so that even if I had to skip working out because of working late, at least I ate the dinner I made myself. If I didn’t end up working late I could keep it for lunch the next day.

          • Rainbow Hair :

            Lord knows how the rules have changed since I left, but “take out” from a grocery store was an option so if you had something from home you could get a “dinner” of some redbull and bananas to have at your desk the next morning (#healthychoiceshealthylawyers)

      • Anonymous :

        FWIW, I joined a gym near work so that I could at least use my downtime and so that I could always swing back in and be there for an hour or so starting at 6 for this reason. There was no one at my gym at 4 every afternoon and I had my blackberry with me so I knew when to finish up and head back. As far as I knew, everyone steps out around 4 to grab coffee / a snack / etc.

        • I think this is very much a YMMV situation. I don’t mean this to be critical at all – I think it’s awesome you went to the gym and came back to work!- but I can’t imagine ever leaving my office at 4 to go to the gym, and I’m a partner who works for very reasonable people. For a brand new associate to leave at 4 to use the gym, even if she would be available after, could potentially result in her having a bad reputation. My firm would be annoyed even if a mid level associate or partner did this because they would consider it to be part of the workday. So proceed with caution!

          • I was in between things at 4pm once and totally ran into my group head and the managing partner of my biglaw NYC firm at the gym.

            Also, ditto on the thing about not working from home even if you can because 1. unless you have a great set up at home, everything takes longer on a laptop. vs large monitor, 2. you can learn more as you build rapport in the office.

    • Meal prep? Honestly I wouldn’t waste the time and money. Maybe you’ll use some of that food but for much of my time in NYC biglaw I never bought food unless it was on my way home from work and I knew I’d eat it — bc you’d buy groceries in anticipation of a slow week, something would go nuts, you’d never be home and the next time you looked at it — there would be gross rotting stuff in your fridge 10 days later.

      • Meal prep for things that are in the freezer wouldn’t be a bad idea though. They will last months in the freezer.

        • Anonymous :

          Plus just realized OP is married with kids — the kids will need to eat even if she is grabbing food at the office at night.

          • Anonymous :

            +1 – I have spent many weekend hours prepping delicious, healthy meals that were enjoyed by the rest of my family while I had Seamless. (Not saying it wasn’t worth it!)

        • Marshmallow :

          I have a longer reply in mod but freezer meals are a great idea. Especially helpful in resisting lifestyle creep when you know there’s something healthy and filling at home and aren’t tempted to grab takeout. And doubly so with kids.

    • It’s unclear from your post if you just graduated from law school, but I am going to assume that you are newly minted lawyer, so that’s where my advice comes from, as I just gave this same advice to our first years that will be starting in two weeks:

      Try, as best you can, to go with the flow. You’ll meet a ton of people, lots of people will want you to help with their cases/deals/etc. It’s a lot. You won’t be in control of your hours of when you can leave, so be prepared for that. Don’t be a grump. Focus on how you will organize yourself – how will you deal with emails? taking notes when given an assignment? where will you store papers in your office (in piles? in folders)? These systems will develop and be tweaked and fine tuned and refined as you practice more and more, but start thinking about what might work best for you.

      • Thanks, all. I’m not a newly-minted lawyer – I have 2 young kids at home, and a supportive (also lawyer) spouse. I appreciate the reminders about workflow and building my reputation for the first few months, even if it means boredom during the day! Keep the advice coming…..!

        • Anonymous :

          Biggest thing is to figure out childcare — do kids have a nanny or day care? Especially if in daycare, what do you do when daycare is closed, or somebody needs to be picked up right away and both you and your spouse have important meetings? etc. That’s the hardest part for me being a junior associate with little kids.

    • Marshmallow :

      I’m a little confused on the pushback on meal prep? I’m assuming if you’re doing a month’s work of meal prep you’re talking about freezing meals you can easily reheat later, not leaving food in the fridge to rush home to or let rot. I think that’s a great idea for saving time and money. And if you bring lunch to the office, more time at your desk and visible/available. I agree with the commenter who said not to ask to work from home/ don’t go home early for dinner. But I’m not inferring that _at all_ from the fact that you’re prepping freezer meals. If anything I’d assume you’re prepping so you can be in the office more.

      I’m a midlevel in NYC Biglaw and I love my job and my firm. Happy associates exist. You should plan to buckle down and be constantly available, but don’t go in expecting to hate it. Go in expecting to work incredibly hard, don’t make any big plans for the first year or so, and focus on doing your best work and building your reputation.

      Line up whatever assistance and outsourcing you need. Get any annual doctor visits sorted out. Arrange any childcare or petcare you need. Arrange for delivery from your dry cleaner. If it’s in your budget, look into scheduling a recurring cleaning service every few weeks. Talk to your family/partner about what your needs are going to be, and make a plan for dividing household duties.

      Good luck!

      • +1 – if I could hop in a time machine, I’d go back to my years at the firm & make all my meals so that I avoided gaining about 30lbs from eating take-out all the time. I’d 100% recommend making meals to take to work to eat at your desk for lunch & dinner.

    • I’d do as much “home” stuff as you can – think of how you’ll handle work/child care emergencies (e.g., explore backup options, interview nannies etc.), do any school/kid prep work you can (e.g., get Halloween costumes now), spend quality time with your kids and your spouse. Streamline your home life as much as possible until you get adjusted to the new schedule.

      You might ask HR if they can introduce you to other mothers of young children – my HR did that, and that might be a good way to develop a network internally (I was the current associate). More generally, try and network – look up people you went to law school with (or people who went to your law school), etc. – do some research ahead of time so you can hit the ground running.

      Also, if you don’t internet shop already, do it now. I do a ton of internet shopping in my downtime :).

    • Find whatever household staff you might need. Pet sitter (2 just in case one in on vacation when you get sent to the midwest for a 3-week doc review with a day’s notice), dog walker, cleaning service, backup babysitter.

      Along those lines – professional services with reasonable-for-you hours. I’m thinking doctor (or urgent care/clinic), dentist, vet, hair salon, etc. Finding a good clinic/doctor with super early appointment windows is really important for those times that you’re sick enough to be miserable but you still have to work.

      Get a credit card with a high limit and a good points program for business expenses. Things happen quickly and you might rack up $10k in flights and hotel bills before you can get reimbursed.

  31. Anonymous :

    How do you all act with a parent who has a milestone birthday they are dreading? Both my parent turn 70 in the next couple weeks, and one just told me they are sad about it (normally they’re fine with these). We’ll do a family dinner like usual, but they said they need to wrap their heads around turning this age. I’ve just bought a small gift, but want to be respectful about the whole thing. Any tips or pointers?

    • Marshmallow :

      I wouldn’t do anything too differently– a quiet family dinner is probably just right. My mom was super not into turning 50 and we still took her out for dinner and gave her a small gift. Definitely stay away from big celebrations, but it sounds like you’re doing the right thing.

  32. I love that this dress is a jersey material. That means that it will give a little but also fit perfectly against our lady curves! And I appreciate all of the variety of colors!

    https://officiallychic.com

  33. Any advice for a queer woman who just landed a biglaw job? I’m wondering if I should be out in the office. I’ve been closeted mostly and I’m only out to close friends and colleagues, because I grew up in a conservative family/town and I wasn’t comfortable being openly queer. The problem with being closeted is that I can’t talk about my private life with my colleagues and waste energy hiding aspects of my personality. For example, I spend my weekends with my significant other most of the time, and whenever somebody asks me what I did over the weekend, I would make things up — pretty energy consuming and I sometimes get confused over what I said. Also, I’m getting married soon and I wonder if I should step up, finally get out of the closet, and be comfortable around my colleagues.

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