Coffee Break: Kisha 45 Pumps

Someone was just telling me that Aquazzura pumps are extremely comfortable, and I thought I would point you to this beautiful kitten heel pump in azalea pink suede. (It comes in both black and white as well.) It’s also a great opportunity to ask you guys about your favorite splurge-y shoes — especially pumps — that you think are the most comfortable. We’ve recommended Ferragamo and Stuart Weitzman, among others, and for slightly less of a splurge, Cole Haan. The pictured shoes are $595 and come in sizes 35–40. From now through Saturday, Shopbop is offering 15% off $200+, 20% off $500+, and 25% off $800+. Kisha 45 Pumps

Psst: here’s a more affordable option.

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  1. Suggestions for baby shower gift for a work colleague?

    • Oops forgot to mention that the colleague doesn’t have a baby registry.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I like the little towels that have a little hood in one corner. Add some washcloths and nice lavendar-scented baby wash. And maybe a rubber duckie.

    • anon a mouse :

      Gift certificate to Amazon. Or to grubhub if that’s a thing in your city.

    • Anonymous :

      My default gift is books.

    • A Jellycat book or toy

    • Board books. I always give my kids’ favorites:
      Pat the bunny
      Goodnight moon
      The very hungry caterpillar

    • I like a kissy kissy outfit or two – the cotton is so soft, but they’re expensive enough that you probably wouldn’t buy it for your own kid. I also love the Ralph Lauren knit cotton outfits my mom got me, also very soft. I usually pair an outfit with a jellycat stuffed animal and the matching book. If you buy clothes, make sure you buy for 6 month size and up as you don’t know how big the baby will be and lots of people buy the small sizes (although I don’t know why). We started at 3 month clothes for my 8 pounder and my 6 month old is now wearing 12 or 18 month clothes.

    • Anonymous :

      Diapers…So many diapers

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I got a ton of use out of those soft muslin swaddles. And I love love the hooded towels. Kiddo is 3 and we still use them!

    • Amazon gift card or diapers. People end up with so many clothes as gifts, and particularly if she doesn’t have a registry, there’s nothing she needs. My daughter is two and we’re still using the bath stuff she got when she was born. If you do a book, give a gift receipt in case it’s a duplicate – we got four copies of Moo Baa La La La.

    • Anon in NYC :

      If you’re going in with a group of people, I’d suggest an Amazon gift card (or Target if one is convenient to him/her). If it’s just from you, I think baby books are good (I’m of the mindset that a kid can never have too many books), or a bath towel with a hood and some super soft wash cloths (bamboo ones on Amazon are great!).

    • Anonymous :

      I didn’t have a registry and my co-workers jointly got me a couple of cute outfits, a pack of bibs and a giant Target gift card. I don’t think you can go wrong with Target or Amazon gift cards because they can be used for anything, not just baby stuff (but most people buy a ton of baby stuff at those stores). I’m also a big believer that children can’t have too many books so I think board books are always a safe bet. Agree to buy clothes in three month size or bigger (although my 8 lb-er was really swimming in 0-3 months clothes at first and probably could have worn newborn outfits for at least a week or two – we didn’t buy any and all the gifted clothes were bigger so we made do).

      Other than books and clothes, I would stay away from specific products because everyone has different preferences. Diapers and wipes can be tricky because of brand (we were very loyal to Pampers and probably would have thrown out anything else that was gifted) and I never even purchased or used a lot of baby “essentials” like a swing, a nursing pillow, a diaper bag, etc.

      • Anonymous :

        Aren’t wipes all the same?

        • Rainbow Hair :

          My ridiculous baby can’t stand anything but water on a cloth or those Water Wipes, seriously. I tried fibbing to her and using the other sensitive-skin ones and she would cry and cry that it hurt. :-/

          We also used cloth diapers so wouldn’t’ve known what to do if gifted diapers.

          Eesh I am SO ~that mom~ right now. I promise I was not obnoxious and this is the first time I’ve mentioned my baby’s delicate bum to anyone besides my husband!

        • Anon in NYC :

          Surprisingly, no. There are ones for sensitive skin, low-chemical ones, “water wipes” (which are basically just wet cloths). There’s a whole range. And my daughter is fine with certain brands but not with others, even if they are meant for sensitive skin.

    • Anonymous :

      Zutano booties are great

    • Second the gift receipt for a book… we got at least 5 copies of Goodnight Moon. Also, a onesie brand I loved for the early days is Magnificent Baby – it has magnets instead of snaps or a zipper, which is genius for the late night diaper checks. They are pricey enough that you feel dumb buying them for your own baby ($30 each) but a great gift idea. You can find them on Amazon.

    • Anonymous :

      If you really want to do something nice, go in with a bunch of colleagues to purchase one of the large items off the registry. At my husband’s office baby shower he got the swing and the car seat from our registry. It was really nice to have those large purchases taken care of. It usually ends up being less expensive for the purchasers, too. A decent-sized group of people giving even $10 each can get a really nice gift, when they’d probably each end up spending at least $20 for an individual gift that actually looked like something.

    • Just a suggestion for anyone doing a towel or other bath type gift: mustela foam shampoo for newborns. It’s the only thing that got rid of my daughter’s cradle cap, which is this lovely head scum that many babies develop when they’re a few months old that no one tells you about. Also – a bigger kids towel is great. We got a few baby towels but they became too small quickly. I’m a big fan of buying size or two up in baby gifts or getting stuff you really can’t have too much off like burp cloths or washcloths.

    • I see all the Amazon recs – but one of the most lovely gifts we received was a giftcard to our local independent book store. We could pick out what we wanted and the $ stayed local.

      • wildkitten :

        The scientists have said that people hate gift cards that are “chores” – so while a local gift card is AMAZING, an amazon or target gift card might be better for the first few weeks.

  2. Eeertmeert :

    I love giving clothes in size 6 mo – 9 mo. I love getting a surprise text photo of the little cutie when they eventually get big enough to fit into the gift.
    Or a lovey, which is a washcloth ish size security blanket with a stuffed animal head attached to one corner.

    • +1 on the larger baby sizes. We got so many newborn clothes and they basically got worn once.

    • pugsnbourbon :

      I’m glad to hear people appreciate this. I usually give a box of diapers or an outfit in the next size up. Babies grow fast, from what I’ve heard.

    • Just a voice of dissent to not discourage people who buy newborn and 3 month sizes. My kids both wore those sizes for months and if we’d only had 6-9 months they’d have been swimming in their little footed suits (whatever the name for those is, we called them footies) – when you put too-large clothing on them, their legs and arms tend to pull out of the sleeves and legs and they get all twisted around when you carry them. I loved the tiny little super cute newborn sizes and those are the things I kept as mementos of their babyhood.

      For perspective, my kids where solidly 50th percentile height and weight until they were well into elementary school, which surprised a lot of people because my husband and i are quite tall. So they wore their actual ages in size most of the time, I.e. wore size 12 months at age 12 months.

      • Same here. I still remember the Target run on the way home from the hospital because we had almost no newborn clothing. Everyone said not to bother, and being a first-time mom, I listened. DS wore newborn jammies until he was 7 or 8 weeks old!

  3. mortgage help :

    I’m about to buy my first place. My mortgage will be $500K, I’m putting a little more than 20% down. I have a choice between a 30-year fixed at 4.125 and 7/1 ARM at 3.625. Monthly payment difference is about $200 — not huge, but not nothing. I expect to stay in the place for at least 5 years, but not sure about beyond that. Also not sure if I moved if I would keep the property as an investment or not. WWYD?

    • Anonymous :

      Rates are expected to rise. For my part, I’d do the 30 year fixed.

      • Anonymous :

        This. Rates are at their best right now, so I’d do fixed. Have you looked at a 15-year fixed? Benefits of a shorter loan life, but better rates.

        • mortgage help :

          I did, but the payments are too high for my comfort level. I’ll probably throw extra at principal, but don’t want to be locked in to it.

        • I’m against 15 year loans generally. You can always make a higher payment on a 30 year loan, but you can’t make a lower payment on a 15 year loan if times get tough. The interest rate differential isn’t usually worth it.

    • Fixed fixed fixed fixed fixed

    • Anonymous :

      I bought three years ago and did the 7/1 ARM. I have an obscenely low rate (3%), and have been aggressively paying down the mortgage since we bought. When we purchased, we didn’t expect to still be in the house in 7 years, though now that I’m almost halfway through that period, I’m less sure of that. In any event, even if we have to re-fi in a couple of years, we’ve paid down so much principal that we expect to be able to get a much shorter fixed mortgage term that would hopefully help blunt some of the pain.

    • Fixed!!!!!

  4. Anonymous :

    I would break my neck in these shoes.

    • but they are so pretty. I’m just glad they are out of my budget so I don’t have to try squeezing my ugly heels into them and then dealing with my feet falling out.

    • So ankletwisty

    • Anonymous :

      They would be so cute as low wedges! why ruin a great shoe with a kitten heel?

    • Never too many shoes... :

      I adore the colour and I am a lover of ankle straps…but these just look like they would be horrifically uncomfortable.

      I don’t know if it is just me, but I will rock a 4 inch heel with way less discomfort than fecking kitten heels.

      • I have some low heels in this color from Via Spiga and find them more versatile and more comfortable than I thought I would.

      • All heels, regardless of height, are more or less comfortable for me based on hitting some magic balance point. I’ve had super comfy 4″ heels, torturous 1″ heels, and everything in between. I’d have to try them on to know if they’re good or bad. But I won’t rule out any heels based solely on their height.

      • I’ve actually had a harder time finding comfortable flats and low heels than 3” heels: I think because the lower the heel, the more your foot bends as you walk, so

  5. Anonymous :

    These shoes are cut weirdly low on the sides. Either have no side at all like a d’orsay, or have sides, but don’t have low sides that make my feet look like they are spilling out of the shoes.

    • I thought they just didn’t fit. Thanks for explaining.

    • Was going to say the same thing. They look really strange to me. Unfinished, almost.

    • Anonymous :

      They’re not high enough to hold them on your feet but just high enough so that if your heels come up a little bit and don’t land perfectly back in the middle, you’ll be in excruciating pain.

    • These are just poorly designed shoes all around.

      • S in Chicago :

        I can tell from the way her arch isn’t hugging to the shoe that they aren’t in that magical ratio (at least for her). That’s one of the first things that stands out to me when I’m trying heels.

      • These are cheap-looking shoes. That ankle strap flatters no one. Just make a cute little kitten heel in that color, decide whether you are going to be a D’Orsay side or not, and be done with it – don’t tramp it up by adding ankle straps.

        • Anonymous :

          I get that you don’t like how this shoe is designed but “cheap-looking” seems over the top.

  6. A close friend is coming to visit for the weekend, as she does several times a year. She booked the ticket a while ago but I forgot to put it on my calendar. Today I realized my long-distance boyfriend is also in town at the same time.

    I live in a one-room apartment (with a sofa bed for guests).

    It does not seem tenable to have them both stay with me. Is it awful if I tell my friend I’ll pay for a hotel for her? I think it will be fine for the three of us to hang out.

    • Anonymous :

      If I were your friend I’d be pretty upset. I understand wanting to have your boyfriend there, but presumably as a couple you can figure out more time to spend together than you and your close friend can.

      • Agree here….. How often do you see your boyfriend?

        This is a big screwup. Too late to change dates and you pay?

      • I agree. The boyfreind knows he can have s-x anytime he comes into town, but NOT your out of town girlfreind. Do yourself a favor–tell the boyfreind to stay away that weekend so you can have time with your out of town girlfreind. It’s not like he is going to be jelous, and he should be abel to sleep elsewhere for one weekend, or just stay home. Believe me, when my family came in from LI for the weekend, it was great to get rid of Sheketovits for a few days. What a relief NOT to have him around! I did NOT miss him at all in the bedroom, and the bathroom was alot fresher w/o him in there! FOOEY!

    • Anonymous :

      I think you should tell your bf that you forgot and see if he can change his schedule, or ask if she’s fine if your bf is there to visit at the same time – say you want them to meet or whatever.

    • Anonymous :

      Yes that hella awful. He shares with you. She gets the couch. Don’t have loud relations.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ll be the voice of dissent and say offer it and see what she says. You’re offering to pay for it, so she’s not out funds for it.

      • I don’t know. If I was planning to stay with my good friend, and she said, “Oh, can I pay for you to stay in a hotel?” I wouldn’t say no. I mean, I can’t force someone to host me. But I’d be pretty disappointed.

        On the other hand, I don’t know why it would be untenable to have bf share a room/bed with OP, and friend to take the sofa bed. I guess a “loud relations” issue? Maybe it’s because DH and I met in college, but we’ve shared all kinds of spaces (dorms, tents, 1-br apartments, crowded VRBO houses) with both singles and couples over the years.

        • Anonymous :

          Same. DH and I have shared hotel rooms with friends of mine many times. I don’t think its untenable at all and it’s pretty rude to ask your friend to go a hotel because you messed up the dates.

    • Yeah I would be really hurt. What if your friend is thinking – I always visit her, she doesn’t visit me, and now this?

    • I’d privately ask your boyfriend if he can reschedule. If he makes a big stink, well that tells you something useful. if he can’t or won’t reschedule, then I’d be upfront with your friend about the situation, and offer to pay either the fees to change her flight or for her to stay in a hotel, whichever she prefers.

      • Senior Attorney :


        This is bad and the best thing you can do is own how badly you’ve screwed up and fix it however you can — pay for your boyfriend’s flight on a different date, preferably.

    • Okay, thanks for the advice. I guess I was assuming that no one would want to stay in a one-room apartment with a couple, but if she’s up for it, I don’t mind.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        Some thoughts:

        I might be tickled if you offered to put me up in a hotel — all of the fun of a visit, none of the hassle of sharing a bathroom! IF … (1) I would still actually get to hang out with you a bunch. Like, I’m imagining we all go to the museum together, then walk around a cool neighborhood, then get dinner and a drink, and then you two go home to your place and I go to the hotel, and (2) your boyfriend wasn’t a complete stranger to me, or, if he was, we really did get along, so I didn’t feel like a third wheel.

        Also, though, I’ve stayed in plenty of places with a couple and fewer than two bedrooms. And I have hosted plenty of friends (even couples!) in a one-bedroom or even studio apartment that I shared with a partner. It’s all good!

      • Anonymous :

        I think people have vastly different comfort levels with this. I wouldn’t want to, but I’d also love to stay in a hotel as long as my friend (and her BFF) hung with me during the day to the extent previously expected.

      • Anonymous :

        Then kick your boyfriend out.

      • I think some people are saying that it would be hurtful to ask her to stay in a hotel (totally agree) but that several are also asking whether you can reschedule with your boyfriend. Because the idea of having your time with your close girlfriend completely rearranged because dude is there is awful.

        Personally, I would rather eat the change fee on the flight than fly into town and spend the time with my close gf and her boyfriend (whether staying at a hotel or with the couple). It just would be a different trip and really disappointing if I had been expecting a girls’ weekend. So let her know ASAP so she can plan accordingly and readjust her expectations. And I say that as someone for whom getting along with my friends’ husbands and boyfriends is important — it is about the expectations of the trip rather than animosity toward the dude in question.

  7. Does AGL change the color selection of its iconic/basic ballet flat (the one with the buckle) pretty often? My old pair is finally getting a tiny un-repairable split in the back and I want to get another one. The current Nordie’s selection only has black for more professional colors. I badly want to get the turquoise one, but for work I’m looking for navy or gray or brown (what I have now).

    Also, a plug for these. My old ones are 6 years old, still going pretty strong with that tiny tear that you can only see up close. They’ve been resoled twice and I wear them probably once a week. Love these shoes!

  8. Anonymous :

    Are there other cute shoes out there with a kitten heel, ankle strap, and in a similar pink (or other fun spring colour)? Preferably in a non-splurge price range.

    These are adorable… or could be adorable, if the sides weren’t so weird and they weren’t as much as my rent.

    • Anonymous :

      Still splurgey for me, but less so:

    • These are pretty close, though I’m not sure if the strap is too high to be flattering

  9. Anonymous :

    Anyone want to summarize the rise and fall of Hope Hicks? How did she get to where she is?

    • Anonymous :

      She worked at a PR firm in NY after college, then was poached by Ivanka, and then became a trusted person to join the campaign. And I guess is super loyal for those reasons. And I guess is … not? with Rob Porter anymore?

    • For whatever it’s worth, she seems to have some level of PR talent, to have survived as long as she did in that situation. I’m guessing DT liked and respected her because she was the type of person that he wanted himself/his daughters to be – comes across as classy, old money, etc. All DT wants in life is to be accepted by NY blue blood types, and she seems to fit the bill.

      I can understand, from her perspective, how joining a presidential campaign instead of working PR for a small, mid-range clothing company would have seemed like a good career move. But she showed her true colors by sticking around as long as she did.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      I know we discussed whether she looked good or not on some earlier thread, but she looked hot in her pictures leaving her job.

  10. Anonymous :

    Spring shoes- all winter I wear booties with jeans for casual day and evening weekend wear. What do I do for spring.

    • S in Chicago :

      I just bought blush booties from Blondo. Am counting the moments until they arrive! I also just bought some suede kilty heel lloafers in a blush color, too, hoping that would feel more like spring. If I found something similar in a light blue, they would be mine as well right now.

    • Anonymous :

      Booties are year round now IMO. I also hate this awkward phase where it’s too cold for my casual sneakers.

  11. Anyone have any experience seeing a dietitian? :

    TJ about weight and medical treatment. Feel free to scroll past!

    For medical reasons, I would be best off losing about 20 lbs through slow steady lifestyle changes and exercise. Decided with my PCP that the best approach for slow and steady and sustainable would be to involve a dietitian. First appointment is tomorrow; scheduled today. No requirement to bring food journal just yet, open to doing it when asked. I cook a lot, food is central to a hobby, I never follow recipes (not my style). This is not a q about WW.

    I’m worried that it’s going to be a very rigid “measure, track, and evaluate every bite for the rest of your life” set up, which knowing myself simply won’t last or jive with my personality/way I cook (in fact, last time I did that, yeah I lost weight, but developed an unhealthy orthorexia-like obsession…clearly not ideal). I’m not stonewalling or looking for ways to excuse myself out of it, promise. Just concerned that a one size fits all approach won’t be effective.

    Question: Can I realistically say “I do best understanding the principles and ‘whys’ of the guidance, so that the ‘plan’ is more general guidance and fewer precise ‘rules’ and limits? I can’t rewire myself to the point of thinking in grams and % and cups, but will be able to follow general, well-understood guidance so long as it all adds up?”

    • Anonymous :

      I think you’re borrowing problems here. Yes, that’s fine. Go. Listen. Talk about your lifestyle. A dietician is going to work with you on this.

    • Metallica :

      I have worked with a dietitian and I think that finding the right one is a lot like finding a therapist, especially if you have a history of issues with food (as I do.) I discovered I really disliked weighing myself in front of someone, although I liked the dietitian that I found. The bottom line–eating behaviors are so personal and you are paying for this service–you have the right to mold it to your liking, and I wouldn’t recommend hiring anyone who insisted that it was their way or the highway.

    • Spend some time figuring out what WILL motivate you, if tracking doesn’t. I’m somewhat the same way, in that tracking leads to unhealthy obsessive behaviors, then I burn out and give it up. So what will motivate you to make a lasting change? Have you made other changes in your life – what helped you keep that up? Don’t be afraid to spell that out for the dietitian, and ask them for ideas on how to translate it to food habits.

      For example, I’m not a morning person, but I now get up at 5:30 every morning and get in bed by 10. The keys were only allowing myself to read my gossip magazines in bed, so I’m motivated to wind down at the end of the night, and then scheduling an early coffee date with a work-friend 3 days a week. I have no idea how those might translate to a change in eating habits, but that’s what I’d ask the dietitian to help me do.

      Also think about your problem areas, and what makes them a problem. I eat a ton when I’m stressed because food is my comfort. I had a lot of success transferring that to an herbal tea-drinking ritual with just a small digestiv biscuit on the side. It feels super luxurious and comforting but is many fewer calories than standing over the sink hoovering the dinner leftovers.

    • Anon in NYC :

      Yes, I think you can absolutely describe your lifestyle, as well as your goals in how you want to improve your nutrition overall, how you want to track your food consumption, etc. And it’s entirely fair to say that you don’t want to set yourself up for a very rigid system. But I also think that you should be open to measuring/tracking in a way that makes sense for you/the dietician.

    • wildkitten :

      Read Gretchen Rubin’s Better than Before. She says among the types are moderators and abstainers and that nutritionists are always moderators. I am an abstainer. Might be a good insight into if an RN would work for you, or to understand why not if they would not.

      • Anyone have any experience seeing a dietitian? :

        Thanks, all! I am borrowing a bit of trouble, yes, I agree. But these comments are re-assuring me that it will be a-ok, and I will find a good fit. Thank you.

        And to wildkitten’s point, I did the Gretchen Rubin 4 tendencies quiz (couldn’t read the book–appointment is in like 4 hours), and whooboy am I a questioner! It’s like she wrote it about me…and then I followed it up with the abstainer vs. moderator quiz. Moderator, all the way. So enlightening, thank you!

  12. Metallica :

    I like these shoes. My wallet wouldn’t, but I like them :)

    On to my threadjack. Has anyone been to Ann Taylor lately? I went yesterday and the fits were all over the place. Tops that should have hit at low hip were hitting at the waist, everything was weirdly boxy, my numerical size was varying a ton between similar garments…lots of stuff had hanger appeal but looked terrible on. This could be just me, because I had a baby recently and my body is just different now…I’m not sure if it was them or me. I was a little bummed because I liked a lot of the colors they have in store at the moment.

    • Anonymous :

      It’s them. The fabrics are just terrible, the fits are boxy, and the quality is questionable.

    • Anonymous :

      Their lined skirts are good. Also pants and jackets. The crepe tops are usually ok (fitted ones) but agree on the blouses. Tees are starting to be really large and some kind of weird cotton that feels like poly. Jeans ok too. Oh, and shorts are good also. Now I sound like a shill but in saying this, I unsubscribed from emails and am trying to wean off.

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