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I know readers have discussed this a bunch in the comments, but I don’t think we’ve ever had a full post on perfume at the office, so let’s discuss! Reader S’s question is about perfume at work:
I take a lot of care in selecting my clothing/hairstyle/makeup, and making sure that they are office appropriate. Are there rules about office-appropriate perfume as well?
Forgive me if I’m wrong, but I believe the common wisdom among the commenters is that perfume should not be worn at the office. I might caveat that a bit: coworkers should not be able to smell your perfume on you unless they are, for some reason, very very very close to you. None of this “you enter a conference room and everyone smells you before they see you,” or “the two other people on the elevator sneezed when you got on.”
{related: office-appropriate perfumes exist?}
Personally, at the moment, I don’t wear much perfume — I got out of the habit a few summers ago when, in my old apartment, I would wake up every day with one or two new mosquito bites, and my husband never got bit. I suspected it had something to do with my perfume, so I stopped wearing it. (And still got bit. We were glad to move, to say the least!) Now I mostly wear them on the weekend, and even then only if I think about it, although I sometimes travel with my favorite solid perfume.
Psst: some of my favorite perfumes as of 2022 (mostly for date night) include these:
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Let’s take a poll, though about perfume at the office:
If you do want to wear perfume at the office, though, here are some tips:
- Buy the most concentrated version of the stuff — usually parfum, not “eau de toilette.” The less concentrated the perfume is, the faster it wears off (and the more it smells of alcohol) — which may make some ladies think they need to wear a TON of it to make it last.
- Apply it judiciously — for the office, I would advise to not apply directly to more than than one pulse point — do not add it to your wrists, your neck, the back of your knees and your cleavage all at the same time! Lately, on the rare days that I do wear it to the office, I just spritz the air in front of me and “walk into it,” hoping it falls on enough of my hair and clothes to last the day.
Readers, what other tips do you have? What is your favorite perfume, and do you wear perfume to the office?
anon also
If you dislike being around people who smell like smoke or have BO and/or think your wardrobe choices could affect how you’re seen at work (which I think many on this site do), why on earth would you risk wearing something optional that at least some can’t avoid noticing/reacting to in a bad way? I might not notice your hose are the wrong shade, but I will avoid working with you if you give me a headache of any kind. Just something to think about.
Katherine
How do these scent sensitive people decide which scents bother them? Every person I have worked with has had their own personal smell, whether related to their hair products, soap, home cooking, habits, etc. I had one co-worker who rode a moped and smelled rather strongly of gas fumes until about lunch. I had another co-worker who cooked a lot of Indian food (despite not being Indian) and had a bit of a curry smell about her. Don’t even get me started on the smokers. So the perfume was really just another smell in the cacophony of smells. Do you folks tell people to stop cooking strong smelling food or smoking (not in the office, clothes and hair smell of smoke)? I’m just curious where this ends.
katie
In my case, I have asthma attacks from certain smells. Perfumes (this does include scented shampoos, lotions, hair spray, etc) are one of the bigger triggers for me. It’s not me “deciding” I don’t like it. For everyone with this same attitude as yours, I wish you could experience what it’s like not to be able to breathe, and having no control over it when out in public.
Katherine
I don’t have an attitude. I just don’t see the difference between perfume and many of the other strong, potentially troubling smells that people might have. Except that people feel entitled to ask others not to wear perfume. Smoke smells bother me quite a bit, but I would never ask a co-worker to stop smoking on their own time.
katie
In my case with my asthma, I can end up in the ER. As I’ve gotten older, I recognize what is happening before anything serious occurs, but when I was a child and teen, I was a frequent visitor to the hospital. I’ve had asthma since I was 5. This is different than just “bothering” me. It’s a health concern for me.
I’ve had to ask people to stop wearing their perfume, as well as to refrain from smoking around me. Usually the response from them is to increase the use and state they “have the right” to do whatever it is. Personal consideration is a thing of the past. I practice this, but it seems I’m in the minority.
Eponine
In my case, it’s synthetic scents that induce congestion, breathing trouble and, in large doses, asthma attacks. So anything from cheap perfume/body spray to air freshener to certain gums or candies can do it. Bath and Body Works products seem to be a particularly bad offender; I cannot even use their soaps, which many of my friends have in their bathrooms, without coughing and sneezing and I once actually threw up from the congestion headache I got after going in one of their stores.
Smells that aren’t fume-related don’t bother me at all. I’m allergic to smoke (all kinds, but cigarette seems especially stinky), bug repellent, spray-on sunscreen, hairspray, you name it. Food smells or anything that’s not fume-related may be annoying, but I’m not allergic to them.
i'm nobody
it’s not a decision.
Andromeda
I’m one of the “Other”s because your “No” wasn’t strong enough for me; I would say “no, never, ever, period.”
I have very little sense of smell so I cannot smell perfumes. I have no idea what sort of nice message people are trying to convey with it. I can, however, *taste* perfume when I am near someone who is wearing it. It tastes like drinking detergent. It’s completely gross and it is physically hard for me to be near people who have perfume on; I am trying to have a nice conversation, and some part of my brain is constantly screaming “STOP DRINKING DETERGENT”.
So I would prefer that people stop doing that to me.
Eponine
PSA for the allergic/sensitive/migraine ladies: My allergist recently gave me a nasal spray, Astepro, that can be used to stop the allergic symptoms caused by perfume and other fumes (like cigarette smoke). It takes a bit of time to work so it’s not the solution for getting in the elevator with an inconsiderate person drowning in perfume, but if you’re stuck next to someone on a flight or in the theater, it’ll clear up your allergic reaction and keep you clear for a couple of hours. It’s great. You should ask your doctors.
I’m also absolutely flabbergasted that there are so many posters here who think that I’m the selfish one for having asthma attacks and going to the emergency room when it’s their RIGHT to wear as much perfume as they want. Thank goodness that my coworkers are not jerks like this, or I’d have to take disability leave. I hope it was really just one particularly vehement troll using different monikers.
anon
sounds like bed bugs, not mosquitoes.
Anonymous
I don’t agree with the above comment, but on a side note, taking vitamin B SERIOUSLY helps with mosquito attraction.
Mosquitos usually LOVE me, but when I start noticing I’m getting bit like crazy, I’ll take a vitamin B every day and I’ll barely get any bites.
My Dr. also recc’d this later on to me and I was so happy to have him back me up on this. ;-)
Extremely helpful– esp. for travelling & camping.
BigLaw Refugee
That is fascinating, thanks! Mosquitoes love me, so I may try this.
Anonymous
I am guessing that a lot of women who think no one can smell the little perfume they have on are wrong. We can. I avoid my internal clients in the elevator and try not let them in my office. Perhaps, you can’t smell it because you are used to it. It’s like the smell of ciggerettes, we all know when you’ve been taking a smoke break. NOTE* perfume doesn’t cover that up either.
mamabear
OK, to those telling us all to never, ever wear perfume because it gives me athsma/migraines/hives/PTSD whatever – honestly, if you have a known allergy, you should be having allergy shots, taking antihistamines, something other than expecting a scent-free world around you. I am allergic (tested) to mold, dust and cat dander, and that’s what I do. I take Claritin and use Nasonex. It’s unrealistic of me to expect that every person and surface in the office will be free of mold spores, dust or cat hair.
As it happens, I am not someone who regularly wears scent. But I had an incident where I was giving a woman a ride in my car, as a favor to her, and she angrily accused me of wearing perfume, which, according to her, endangered her life.
I wasn’t wearing any scent. The only thing I could think of was that I had hairspray on that day, which was labeled unscented. I was really taken aback, defensive and embarrassed, and then angry about it later. How can someone who really truly is that sensitive to scents (which honestly, I doubt) able to live in this world at all?
(Also, as it happens, I have a very good sense of smell, so as I sat there fuming, I realized I could smell this woman’s light BO, her coffee breath, and the fact that she had a banana in her tote. But I never would have said anything!)
Anyway, I guess I’m posting this anecdote to explain why some posters feel defensive about their scent-wearing habits.
Anon 3L
I take allergy medication everyday for my “seasonal” allergies. But as the article above points out, perfumes are and irritant not an allergen. The symptoms that I get from being near someone with to much perfume on is similar to allergies; runny eyes and nose, sneezing and sinus headaches. But because it is not an allergen, my allergy medication does not solve the problem.
I am willing to do what I can so that others do not have to stop wearing perfume. My friends know how sensitive I am to perfume, and on a handful of occasions I have politely asked them to keep me in mind when they go to put on perfume. I have never asked them not to wear it, just to apply it in a different room from me, and allow it to dissipate some before coming into contact with me . We all know almost immediately if the scent that they are wearing is to strong, and we work together to make sure that both parties are comfortable.
The one thing I ask of the general public is if you are going to wear perfume somewhere like a plane do not act like I have the plague when I start sniffling and sneezing. NO, I am not sick, and I promise that the experience is ten times worse for me than it is for you.
Kara
First of all, perfume does not trigger allergic reactions in the technical sense; it is an irritant. Therefore, antihistamines wouldn’t be effective to prevent side-effects. (see here: http://www.healthcentral.com/allergy/c/3989/26134/rhinitis-fragrances) It is completely different from something like cat hair or pollen. There isn’t much you can do to prevent the side-effects of irritants (again, see the article).
Secondly, most products marked as unscented, such as hairspray, actually has fragrance added in order to mask the smell of the hairspray. Thus, it doesn’t smell like anything, but at the same time has the same amount of parfum (that’s the ingredient for fragrance) as any other hairspray. I have to buy hairspray that is “fragrance-free” which is an entirely different product than something that is ‘unscented.’
Furthermore, there is synthetic fragrance in just about everything: face cream, toner, shampoo, conditioner, lipstick, foundation, deodorant, laundry detergent. I have to make sure all my products don’t have any fragrance–even an eye cream that has synthetic fragrance in it can bother me if I wear it. And I’m not really as sensitive as other people. So chances are, you were covered in fragrance and if she was really sensitive (some people are EXTREMELY sensitive), it’s no surprise she was bothered.
How am I able to live at all with fragrance sensitivity? Well, before I knew I had it, I just had migraines almost all the time. Right now I work from home and just use all-natural products that has essential oils instead of fragrance (its synthetic fragrance that bothers me–natural essential oils do not–fortunately with the surge in all-natural products, I can find things easily). If I walk into a department store (perfume section) or craft store like Michaels (candles)–these things will immediately make me feel sick, so I avoid them if I can. If I can’t, I just count on feeling sick that day.
Smells like BO, coffee breath, and bananas–or even stronger natural scents really don’t bother me at all. I mean, yes, they can be annoying, but they don’t make me physically ill.
anon.
I wear perfume every day to the office and would not feel fully dressed without it. I could stop wearing deoderant too, but doesn’t it create a smell either way?
Emerald
I wear perfume to the office and I get complimented on the scent a lot. It’s odd that there are such negative comments on such a popular (often) feminine product. I enjoy the smell of a good perfume and I feel it’s part of my outfit, a personal thing.
I agree with Anon actually.
Shosh
I actually find I have a slight perfume allergy, to some perfumes. I do sympathize with those allergic and would try not to wear anything around them, if they asked me.
That being said, I love perfume! I too don’t feel dressed without it.
And I must say, allergy or no, I prefer to smell a coworker’s perfume than their unperfumed body smells: i.e., B.O., greasy hair, coffee breath (as someone else mentioned), etc.
I do feel, in general, that wearing perfume and deodorant is an act of CONSIDERATION to those we work with. To my coworkers: I don’t love you and I don’t want to be intimate with you. I would much prefer to smell your perfume than your body smells!
Seventh Sister
A few thoughts –
1. Being polite helps. I had a co-worker who reamed me out (on my second day!) over wearing perfume in a cubicle mini-farm. I wasn’t actually wearing any perfume – apparently she was bothered by Dove soap and Burt’s Bees lotion. I switched lotion, but I would have been more sympathetic without the the yelling and interrogation.
2. Having been trapped in a car last night with my in-laws, my toddler and my husband, consider going easy on the perfume if you have to share a small space. I think my MIL took a bath in Eau De I Found It At Ross.
3. Even people (like me) who have very little sense of smell on a regular basis, often have a heightened sense of smell when pregnant. Smells that I don’t even notice on a usual basis (e.g., the paralegal’s cologne) are really intense to me right now.
Nina
Wait? Black nylons are only for the nighttime? So no black pantyhose at work?
Anna
I’d say depends on how much you put on… Perfect amount – it’s a yes!
Sharon TN
I like perfume. That is, if women do not wear too much of it. I feel the same about men wearing cologne. Who wants to be “assaulted” by someone else’s scent? I want to smell just enough cologne that it make me curious enough to want to get closer or ask what cologne a man is wearing.
When I wear perfume myself, I place a small amount behind my knees only. That way, when I sit down and cross my legs I get faint whiffs of my favorite scent but my perfume will not overwhelm others.
A little perfume goes a long way.
LexCaritas
I have lots of sympathy for the smell-sensitive (though I don’t suffer from this myself).
I had a colleague whose perfume I didn’t like and who wore enough to leave a smell in the room after she had departed, and I might have mentioned it if she hadn’t stopped wearing it abruptly (maybe somebody else mentioned it?).
I have worked in NY and in London and have never heard the ‘no perfume in the office’ thing in London. This is interesting because English law firms generally have all lawyers sharing two to an office (so closer quarters than US firms where own office is more normal). Maybe just a cultural difference…
SAK
Thank god this post is available. Me and my girlfriend were having damn loud argument regarding me if I should perfume or body spray to office. And well thanks to you I won :)
StopWearingIT!
Perfume STINKS, why women wear it is beyond me. I hate the smell so much, I can’t tell you. Worst of all are the women who somehow get it all over their hands and then touch everything they can in order to spread this ‘disease’, so when they leave, you can STILL smell that bloody horrible smell!
Why do women wear it? Don’t you know how to wash properly? When I’m with a woman, I want to smell HER, not some vile ‘scent’ that she thinks is actually nicer than her body’s natural smell. What is wrong with women? Caking themselves in make up, pretending to look like something they’re not, wearing hideous perfume which you can’t avoid, piercing their skin and shoving bits of metal through it – talk about self hatred, and it’s endemic.
If women thought that ‘jumping off a cliff’ was the latest fad, and was going to ‘get them a man’, they would ALL be doing it – unbelievable.
StopWearingIT!
Furthermore, it seems that a lot of women simply can’t SMELL properly – if you’re wearing a perfume, within minutes you’ll have totally forgotten that you’re wearing it, and will no longer even NOTICE the smell – so what is the point? All you do is piss off everybody else who comes into contact with you. If I WANT to smell a perfume, I’ll go and buy some and sniff it. What you are doing is FORCING other people to go through an experience which they don’t want to.
I had a stupid woman once stroke one of my cats, and my cat STANK of her horrible perfume for days after – do you think that when I go to kiss my cat, and nuzzle into his fur, I want to smell some vile perfume?
Women who wear perfume think that they smell of B.O. and are trying to cover it up – truly pathetic – learn to WASH properly, and ask an honest friend if you have B.O. – don’t force the rest of the planet to smell your pathetic ‘mask’ which you think stops them from smelling your (usually non-existent’) B.O.
God knows what goes through women’s heads. “The T.V. said it was ‘feminine’ to wear this vile shit, so I don’t feel ‘feminine’ without it. And it’s only $500 a bottle!”
You morons. It just beggars belief the things women do to themselves, in their pathetic attempts to be ‘feminine’ and ‘get a man’.
The most beautiful women I have known were always feminine, no matter what they did, because of their genes and their personalities. No amount of make up, perfume, or clothes, or bodily mutilation (ear rings, belly rings (god help us), silicon implants, etc.) is going to help you.
White Male
Perfume is gross.
For some reason it smells worse on fatter older women. Is it because they do not shower as much?
The only time it is ever nice is on a thin young girl.
Ivy
I have never had any allergy to anything and I wear parfume whenever i feel like it in the office (understand every day) and feel feminine, successful and selfconfident and before I read the comments it never crossed my mind that someone might be allergic