Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Portfolio Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. 

J.Crew says this dress is one of their bestsellers (and the reviews are very positive), and I can see why — it’s a great, basic sheath dress. I’m a fan of the “brilliant sapphire” color, but this lavender “pink wash” is lovely as well, and it also comes in basic black. I like the structured look and the texture to the fabric — and it has functional pockets! The dress comes in sizes 000-16 as well as petite and tall sizes, and it’s $148 full price. Portfolio Dress

This $50 dress is very similar, and comes in regular, petite, plus, and tall sizes.

Psst: For those of you having problems seeing images, thank you for your patience! Some of our higher security settings are triggering problems with another service we use to help images load faster — I’m currently sitting on like three support chats.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected]

Comments

  1. Someone please talking out of wanting a Goyard Saint Louis tote. I just saw a gray one on a woman and goddamn it I want one. I normally hate branded/obvious stuff like that but for some reason I’m obsessed with these. I’m generally a fan of unstructured unzippered totes – there’s a certain DGAF attitude about them that I find alluring. It’s obviously not in the budget though. Sigh.

    • Happy to help :

      Talk you out? Sure.
      It used to be cool years ago when not many people who weren’t chic French ladies had one. I remember seeing it for the first time in 2004 or 2005 on a very cool girl I knew who worked for a funky fashion magazine. Now every other woman in NYC seems to have one in gray or white or whatever, most with the requisite monogram. It’s part of the “I work in finance” or “my husband is in finance” uniform. You’re basically getting a slightly updated LV bag that is well on it’s way to being just as much of a dated status symbol.

      • Happy to help :

        PS: And it doesn’t even have a zipper!

        • Gail the Goldfish :

          This is an instant disqualifier for me on all bags, much less ones that cost $1400

      • Anonymous :

        I’m in finance and I think it’s ugly as f for a bag that costs $1500?????

        • eeesh. I know you’re paying for the brand and all, but that looks like something you’d get off the rack at ross or Marshall for $70.

          • No, it looks like something you can get for $25 at Marshall.

            Ugly.

            I can’t believe smart women fall for this.

        • KateMiddletown :

          Also, I’m in finance and I get hives thinking about spending $1400 on that bag. (A Chloe on the other hand.) But seriously, I have no business doing that unless I’m fully funding my 401k, Roth/IRA and 529s. And my clients won’t think I’m bilking them when I carry my Longchamp. (Sorry not sorry, I’m a mom and it wipes off.)

          • I roll my eyes pretty hard at Longchamps, too. Talk about Basic.

          • Honestly, I’m not sure why any woman over the age of 24 or so cares if another woman thinks she’s “basic.”

          • all about eevee :

            +1, I am getting so tired of the term “basic”. I don’t care what any of you think of my purse.

      • I totally agree. I see those and think “this person wanted everyone to know how expensive my ubiquitous-in-that-set bag is” rather than “oh how cute and nonchalant.”

      • Thank you. That helps. I wish I had gotten one years ago and now I could be all like, oh this old thing?

        • That’s exactly right. If you found a beat-up thrifted one, that would be the one you want. From your Mummy’s trip to Paris when you were just a bebe.

      • Anonymous :

        I’ve seen them on a lot of Mormon mommy bloggers, so I sort of lump them in with that Shabby Apple dress company in my mind. I don’t think either is particularly chic-looking. If I had $1,400 to spend on a bag, I’d definitely get leather not coated canvas and I’d get something that’s not immediately recognizable as a particular brand so it would age better.

        • pugsnbourbon :

          …. Mormon mommy bloggers are carrying $1400 bags?

          • Without doing any research, I’d bet Cara Loren has one.

          • snarkalops :

            lol you need to look into the financial info of mormon mommy bloggers. Those broads are RAKING in cash by the fistfuls. when they’re not being given shit for free to instagram pimp.

          • Oh yes, Mormon mommy bloggers have ALL.THE.BAGS and all the shoes, dresses, etc.

    • I’ve never heard of this bag, so I just looked it up. Wow it’s ugly AF. Reminds me of those giant (plastic? nylon?) bags people sometimes pack their stuff in the middle east and North Africa. when I was living there.

      I’m not a bag connoisseur, though, so what do I know?

      • Ha! It’s like the giant blue plastic hauling bags they sell at Ikea for $1

      • Yes! It’s hideous. Looks like something you could buy for $30 at Kohls.

      • +1. I don’t personally like logos, but I understand why people love the LV, Fendi, etc. logo bags. But Goyard is just straight up ugly.

      • Exactly my thought. Perhaps the people who buy these bags don’t appreciate the similarities since they don’t go to IKEA or associate with the poors.

      • “Reminds me of those giant (plastic? nylon?) bags people sometimes pack their stuff in the middle east and North Africa. when I was living there.”

        hahahhah yes its the I bought it at the souk for 20 diram (bargained down from 40, a special price just for you because you’re pretty and I like you) look

      • ponte python's flying circus :

        Ahem. http://www.cosmopolitan.com/uk/fashion/style/news/a41815/balenciaga-stripe-shopping-bag-thailand-instagram/

      • In-House in Houston :

        I’d never heard of it either, so I googled it. Ugly!!

    • Is it possible the bag only looked good because the woman carrying it was really well put together in general? I mean, there is a reason they put attractive, well dressed women next to Chevrolets in commercials.

      • +1 – that bag does not look like it should be expensive, in my mind.

      • I agree. [Chevys are beautiful BTW though.]

        I have seen some hot messes carrying Neverfulls and it was all just nope, nope, nope. Do brands want hot messes to carry their very branded products? Can they retract their merch if not displayed well? Sometimes, maybe they should.

        Re the Goyard. It telegraphs not the best things. And it will look dated, like when the rest of the country discovered the Juicy Couture velour track suits. Bleh.

      • Yep, agreed. Also, if you must have an “it” bag, find the it bag of 2018, not 2013. Hopefully it will be cuter.

        • PrettyPrimadonna :

          On that note, what is the It Bag of 2018?

        • I think the it bag of the current moment, at least as far as totes go, is an unstructured, raw edge natural colored leather tote. Cuyana sells these, I’m not sure whether they are the iconic brand

        • http://www.purseblog.com/fashionweek/big-bag-trend-fall-2017/

          would crawl into that Celine tote and never come out

          would buy this if i could afford https://www.jwhulmeco.com/Market-Tote-Cream-Leather-p/978k3.htm

          • pugsnbourbon :

            Um also the Coach bag with a T.rex instead of a horse, I want that.

    • My finance neighborhood has a lot of mommies carrying them. I’ve seen one on a single working woman I know. LV Neverfull seems to own the career market still. I think Goyard gets the mommies b/c they are more colorful. Plus, you have to go to NYC or Paris or SF to buy one in person, so it’s like a wink of “we are our kind of people” to each other.

      I am #TeamIkea all the way. I prefer the really old school yellow to the windex blue. Maybe I will spring for the hand-painted monogram on my next one :)

      • It is the archetypal country club mommy with a rich husband bag in my city.

      • FWIW you can buy them via email from those boutiques. Just saying.

      • Anonymous :

        In my city they really have a dated look. If you want a bag that you will carry for a long time, I would definitely buy something more classic. These scream 2012 to me.

    • I had to google it, but it looks like a giant diaper bag to me.

    • Buy What You Like! :

      Hahaha – you are me! I need a large, lightweight tote to shove stuff into for work (no laptop, but files), travel (magazines, wrap) and weekend (various kid stuff…donuts, soccer balls, etc) and it is really hard to find a bag that can do that while still be fashionable-ish.

      I thought about a Prada nylon tote, but all my friends who have them say they fall apart. I seriously considered the Neverfull but I don’t like the light handles because they get dirty, like the brown/dark brown checker pattern with dark handles even less and the Epi version is 2xs the (already expensive) price and TOO HEAVY.

      I know the common lore will be buy a cheap TJ Maxx tote and deal. But because I carry a tote nearly everywhere and live in a HCOL city where people try to be fashionable, I am looking for something more than that.

      The Goyard is super light, waterproof and reportedly fairly durable. The thing that tipped me over the edge is that you can purchase them in London/Paris for 40% less. Still a lot, but less than a Neverfull. So I guess that I’m the lone naysayer but if you like it and you can afford it, why not?

      I feel like Goyard, Neverfull and Uggs fall into a category I think of as “socially acceptable ugly.” No one thinks these things are lovely BUT they are hardworking and functional. Just my $0.02.

      • Thanks – I’m glad I’m not alone! I was starting to wonder with all the comments above.

        For the record, I am a mommy (in the pejorative sense intended in the comments above).

        • You might look at the Liberty of London bags. I was recently in their flagship store in London and thought the tote bag looked a lot like the Neverfull/Goyard without the crazy high price point plus more unique. They had a way to monogram in store so I would assume there’s a way to do it through a web purchase if you want that.

          http://www.libertylondon.com/uk/marlborough-tote-bag-in-iphis-canvas-1001565593.html?dwvar_420480_color=35-DK%20BLUE&referrer=departments#start=1

      • JuniorMinion :

        If you want a cheaper alternative – Target has some great looking bags out that are large / open tote bags in a variety of colors.

      • Anonymous :

        The LL Bean Boat and Tote is, I suspect, equally indestructible. And $1360 cheaper.

    • Ha ha! Every time I see one of these discussions about what bags are “common” and therefore not desirable I am so happy I splurged on a $700 tote bag while on vacation in Europe. I have NEVER seen anyone with a bag from the same place, which makes me cooler than all of the “that’s so common, but I really like XXX” people.

    • Alanna of Trebond :

      I think they might be too mainstream now, but I got a lovely Mansur Gavriel bag last year for work, and I think it is an “it” bag and I love it. Also, only about a grand.

  2. Anonymous :

    Love the dress but not the colors. The pinkish one reads ‘ladies who lunch’ to me and the blue is a cobalt that feels dated.

    • I have this one from JCrew Factory in my shopping cart. Don’t let the name throw you, the lace isn’t actually lace. I find Factory stuff to be hit or miss, quality and size wise, so reluctant to order, but I have the same problem with JCrew regular merchandise so maybe I shouldn’t let it dissuade me. Anyway, it’s similar in style but feels a little fresher for the summer. I think the v neck and detailing would also be a bit more flattering if you’re on the busty side.

      https://factory.jcrew.com/browse/single_product_detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524441875981&nav_type=FACTORY&bmUID=lJ5YuxK

    • If cobalt is wrong, I don’t want to be right! One of my favorite dresses, that I’m actually wearing today, is cobalt. I get that it was a really popular color a few years ago, but I don’t get how a pretty basic color like that ever is “dated.”

      • I think the combo of cobalt and black, which was a huge trend a few years ago, looks dated. But I don’t think plain cobalt is out of style. I love the color too. It looks great on me.

    • My comment seems to have disappeared but maybe it will post twice so apologies if it does…

      I like this one from Factory better. Feels more modern and I think it’d be more flattering, esp. if you’re busty.
      https://factory.jcrew.com/browse/single_product_detail.jsp?PRODUCT%3C%3Eprd_id=845524441875981&nav_type=FACTORY&bmUID=lJ5YuxK

    • That Lands End alternative is just about an exact copy of the United Airlines flight attendant dress. Ummm…. why?

  3. So I am loving all of the off the shoulder tops I’m seeing (not for work, obv.). But what kind of bra do you wear with them? I’ve never found a good strapless that I’d want to wear on a casual day and the looseness of the tops seems like it won’t help matters (ime, strapless + fitted dress will work together to be tolerable for a night but these tops are mostly flowy and loose).

    Just look for something with straps that coordinate so it looks like part of the top? Wear something obviously contrasting so it looks intentional? I really like the trend but not sure how to proceed.

    • Unfortunately I think the intentional-bra-strap look doesn’t work with totally off the shoulder tops.

      If it helps you get over the trend, try a few on and actually attempt day-to-day activities like putting your sunglasses on, eating, carrying a purse, giving someone a hug, etc. I could barely stand still in the dressing room without the elastic wriggling its way up my arm and popping over my shoulder. No thank you!

    • Anonymous :

      Strapless. You wear a strapless bra or you don’t wear off the shoulder tops. I’ve gone for not wearing the stupid tops myself.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I wear a fun colored bra but I’m trashy like that.

    • Strapless, or one of those lacy bralettes if you’re young and small busted enough to get away with it. I avoid them for this reason, I hate strapless bras and refuse to wear them if I can help it.

    • Sometimes i just let my normal bra straps fall down on the sides?

    • Allow me to get on my soapbox.

      I hate feeling like a fashionless slob at age 33 because all I want to be able to do is buy a shirt at a store that is not either see through, a giant shapeless bag, insanely low cut, or impossible to wear functional undergarments under. Why is that so hard????

      signed,
      your grumpy neighborhood DD hourglass.

      • JuniorMinion :

        I’ve had good luck with Asos because they have so many cuts and colors – although the white is totally see through but I haven’t seen a white shirt in a long time that wasn’t see through….I’ve also had good luck with Merona from target as a good deal of their stuff is a thicker weight. I totally feel you on all the “flowy” shirts which do not flow if you have a large chest, they just sort of hang off your b**bs…

        Signed,
        Other DD hourglass

      • Ha, i’m a stick straight A and i still agree with most of this. Is it really that difficult to make cute tops that aren’t see-through and have a higher neckline??

      • Yes, I wish this flowy shapeless top trend would die. Looks terrible on me (hourglass D here).

      • Amen.

      • Midwest Mama :

        Yes, yes, yes. There are very few options if you’re not on board with the flowy, loose, ruffley, pale pastel trend this season. Neither the styles nor colors look good on me. Guess I’ll have to save my money until the trends change…

        • EVERYTHING at Banana and JCrew this season has ruffles and/or bell sleeves. I am speechless.

      • +1000
        It would also be nice to walk into bra shops and be offered something other than your grandma’s minimizer.
        -31, DD/DDD hourglass

      • anonypotamus :

        + one million. The other shirt cuts this season/recently seem to be extra high neck super narrow halters and the like (think Anne Hathaway’s pink dress from the Oscars a few years ago) which is another style that looks truly heinous on me. I need at least my collarbones to show to avoid shelf b00b. Please can we get some structured tops, maybe with a subtle v-neck and some pretty detailing?

        signed,
        another D hourglass (but with the bonus of swimmer shoulders!)

      • Ugh yes. All of this. Although I still like the flowy tops better than the empire waist trend from a few years ago that made me look pregnant.

        Signed,

        Yet another DD hourglass

      • Anonymous :

        +10000

    • I wear one of those bras that lets you move the strap positions, a regular bra and tuck one of the straps into the band, or a strapless.

    • Shopaholic :

      I would wear a bral3tte or bandeau which would work if you’re probably smaller on top. More comfy than a strapless I think.

    • Try the wacoal red carpet strapless, it supports my giant chest surprisingly well and comfortably. But yeah, you need a strapless bra for these tops, I love them and think it was worth the bra investment.

      • +1 to the Wacoal red carpet strapless in a 36H, but still not worth wearing for a strapless top. Only formal events for me and only if I can’t find a dress with straps/sleeves or am a bridesmaid.

  4. Why do the regular sizes in this dress go up to 16, but the petite sizes stop at 12? To top it off, based on the size measurements, the petite 12 is equivalent to a regular 10, so petites only will work for the short and small (as opposed to those of us who are short and . . . not so small).

    • This is my lot in life. I’m a 14/16 and I prefer to wear petites but most brands only go up to size 12. Sigh.

      FWIW, for casual/cheap clothes, Old Navy makes petites in bigger sizes. I love their jeans.

  5. Skin Tags :

    Any solutions for getting rid of skin tags? Mine are primarily on my neck. They’re usually too flat to cut off myself but they bother me. Getting the derm to remove them is so expensive and I’ll only grow more so I’d like a home solution.

    I read about a product called Wart & Mole Vanish that’s sold on [email protected] (lik to follow). Has anyone tried it?

    • Skin Tags :

      Here is the Wart & Mole Vanish product:
      https://www.amazon.com/Winning-Natural-Syringoma-Removal-application/dp/B00132F1DA/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1492004140&sr=8-1&keywords=wart+mole+vanish

    • Anonymous :

      Good God!! Never ever cut them off yourself. Go to the dermatologist. You don’t have a wart or mole.

      • I mean…I get small ones on my armpits sometimes and I just snip them off with clean nail clippers. It doesn’t hurt and it bleeds for a second and then it’s over.

        • This is what my derm suggested doing also. And when they’re raised enough, I snip them with cleaned nail scizzors. But most of mine are too flat or my small motor skills aren’t good enough.

    • I’ve had them cut off at my GP’s office.

  6. A different way to get a fitted tee (though I’d probably start with a different one to get the fabric content I like)
    http://lifehacker.com/dont-buy-womens-t-shirts-buy-mens-shirts-and-tailor-the-1794034101?

    • I’ve tailored my own t-shirts before and it’s definitely worth it.

    • I’ve definitely done this with all those terrible branded polo shirts you get at work events. I don’t know that I’m really a fan of their “after” pics, though. They’re not much more flattering for all that work – maybe it’s the neckline?

      • KateMiddletown :

        It is definitely the neckline. Men’s crewnecks are higher up than womens. I feel like I’m choking when I wear a man’s t-shirt.

  7. Anonymous :

    If someone sends an email cc-ing you and says something like “copying Anon to see if she has anything to add” and you don’t have anything to add, do you not reply or do you send an email saying something like “looks good, nothing to add”?

  8. JuniorMinion :

    PSA – received my Jones New York shipment (Kat has featured a couple items). It seems they have made New Jones cut a little less forgiving than Old Jones was – I am usually a size 4 in Talbots / Calvin Klein / Macy’s Charter Club and the 6 fit snugly (like I wouldn’t want to go any tighter) in JNY. I found the short sleeved tucked ponte dresses to be the biggest winners – its a very polished finely knit ponte and the top half is lined. I also liked a thin sweater I got as well as the crepe washable blazer which fit well in a 4 but was a bit more nubby from a fabric perspective than I was expecting given the crepe stuff I’ve purchased from Asos

    The sleeveless textured crepe sheath that Kat featured over at the mom’s site was just all kinds of wrong on me. Tight through the hips and b*tt, I had this weird pooch of fabric at my waist, and then the top half was a bit loose but at the same time didn’t fit my chest.

    I think overall unless they take the fit back to what it used to be and carry more basic items (anyone remember the JNY wash and wear suits?) I’m a no on purchasing more items from them.

    • JuniorMinion :

      Also for tall people – I am 5’5″ ish and the dresses hit about an inch above my knee.

    • Anon in NYC :

      Good to know – thanks! I was on the fence about the dresses, but it sounds like they’ll be a no-go for me based on length alone (let alone the weird sizing issues).

    • Thank you for the update! I’m also 5’5″, so that’s helpful to know about the length for the office.

      • JuniorMinion :

        No problem! Its just not super great from a fit perspective – Even the ponte dresses, If I had paid full price I would likely return them as they are a smidge tighter than preferable across the hips / bust area and I get wrinkly fabric a bit at the waist.

    • jny report :

      I bought the same dress in two fabrics (a tweed and a solid), and the size 8 solid was significantly too small, while the size 6 tweed fit pretty much perfectly if it were a cocktail dress or office wear on television, but too form fitting for my actual job. I’m tempted to exchange the tweed for the larger size because the fabric and styling are great, but I suspect it’s just the cut and the size 10 would be too large.

      But yeah in no world should a size 8 be tighter than a 6.

  9. Networking/Mentorship Question :

    I’m starting grad school in the fall in a relatively small program where the professors have close relationships with students. At our orientation we were all introduced to the new dean who is extremely accomplished/well respected nationally in our field. He was really nice and said he had an open door policy for students looking for guidance.

    I really want to have someone like this in my corner as a mentor and possibly write a recommendation letter in the future (especially since he received his PhD from the same school I wish to apply to in a year or so). How do I approach this without appearing annoying or opportunistic? I’m planning getting involved really involved the program (joining clubs, going to brown bags,doing some independent research with a professor, etc) so I’m sure I’ll be introduced to him at some point. In general I’m bad at networking, putting myself out there, etc.

    Do I just repeatedly go to his office and/or go to all the events he’s at? I’m good at building close relationships with professors but a dean is more intimidating to me/ive been out of school for a few years. Any advice would be appreciated!

    • Check if he has office hours and stop by. Easy first question: I’ve been considering where I would like to pursue a Phd and I’m very interested alumni school. Could you tell me about your experiences with the program there? Follow up: Are there any courses or activities at present school which you would recommend to best position myself for acceptance at alumni school?

    • antoinette the academic :

      go to his office once during office hours, or make an appointment. Do not go repeatedly or you will annoy him (despite what he says). Also, is he a real dean (all administrator) or one of those professor + Associate Dean of Blah Blah but I still teach a half courseload? If the latter, just treat him like a regular professor.

  10. Can anyone speak to why student loan servicers only apply a freaking auto debit payment 3 or 4 days after it leaves my account?

    It seems like the .25% interest rate decrease for auto pay is all tied up with the delay in application?

    Loans are with Mohela, which is loads better than most other servicers (which is not saying much). It’s really frustrating….I’m paying extra, but it’ll take 10 more years to get the da###N thing paid off.

    • It seems like the .25% interest rate decrease for auto pay is all tied up with the delay in application.

      This is probably why. I’d be tempted to call and threaten to drop the auto-pay if they can’t get it processed faster. 24- 48 hours is reasonable. 4 days is not.

      • Yeah, but I assume processing a check would take them a full on week.

        • Your options are not just autopay or physical check. You can pay by card or checking account online. I have Navient (which collects your checking account data in order to make online payments, rather than paying by debit card) and they take about 4 days to process my payments (I click pay, ~4 days later it is debited from my account and credited to Navient).

          • This is different though. OP is complaining that it leaves her account but takes 4 days to show up as credited to the loan. It sounds like yours is debited from your account and credit against your loan on the same day.

          • FWIW, if you do autopay by providing a physical check or you pay online by providing your checking info, the back-end system that actually moves the money is the same in both cases (ACH).

    • I have MOHELA loans, and I’ve never noticed this. :| (Not because I think you’re wrong, or it’s only happening to you – now I’m worried I don’t pay attention!)

    • Totally off topic, but what a weird name for a loan company. I can’t read this and not think of a “mohel” which in Jewish tradition is the person who circumcises a baby boy.

      • It stands for Missouri Higher Education Loan Authority.

      • Me too and I’m not even Jewish (just emotionally scarred from attending my BFF’s son’s bris)

      • I think it is funny b/c if you don’t pay, the loan company can threaten to circimcize your boyfriend, which is harmelss if he is already circimsiczed. Of course, they could “miss” like in Seinfeld and he could sing Soprano, or worse for us if your boyfreind can no longer fulfil his duties to us! FOOEY!!!!!

  11. I have a good amount of makeup I need to buy for upcoming tv appearances. Is it generally better to buy at Saks, Sephora or from the company (mostly makeup forever)? Any beauty events coming up?
    I’m typically pretty minimal in my beauty routine and will default to Sephora.

    • I’d go with Sephora for the VIB points alone.

    • TorontoNewbie :

      Nordstroms if you want the return policy (and they have the product you like, I don’t know). Otherwise I’d probably pick the one that gives you the best reward system.

    • Sign up to be a VIB at Sephora, their 10% off Spring sale is coming up in the next few weeks. You also earn reward points toward deluxe sample products there.

      I prefer Ulta for most things because their loyalty program gives actual dollars back, but they don’t carry MUF unfotunately :(

    • Lord & Taylor has 10% off cosmetics right now

    • Wonder if you’d be better off, financially, going to a makeup artist that morning. If you’re not going to use the cosmetics again it might be less expensive to go to a professional than it is to buy several products for one use.

  12. Sunglasses :

    Are wayfarer sunglasses over? I’ve decided to treat myself to my first pair of sunglasses not from TJMaxx or similar. Trying to figure out what will last for a couple of years trendwise. I’ve got an oblong face and a small head. Any suggestions in the under $200 range?

    • I don’t think so. They are a pretty classic shape. The new ones seem to be a little larger, but still the same general shape. I have several pairs and still wear them daily.

    • I think they’re classic. You can get plenty of Ray Ban versions for under $200. They even make different sizes now so you can find one that better fits your face. Note that I find the original RBs to be very heavy (real glass lenses) and they gave me headaches, so I went with a newer version called “Liteforce.” If you buy at Sunglass Hut you can return within 90 days for a full refund, so you’re covered if you decide they’re not for you.

      • In-House in Houston :

        Try them on and find what you want and then go to eBay. My nephew wanted a pair of aviators for Christmas so I had him try on a bunch and let me know what he liked. Then I ordered them on eBay for 1/2 price!!! Brand new glasses and not knock-offs.

    • I think those are classic, but my favorite sunglasses are the Ray Ban aviators. They’re around $100 and I’m going on year 5 with mine. They’re light weight, which I love as I find heavier frames hurt after a while, and I have gold frames/brown lenses, which I think is a classic look. I’m always happy with photos of me in them so I think the shape is flattering (I have a similar structure to you).

  13. Marital Property :

    Getting married in a couple months and fiancé owns our house. Pretty sure it’s mostly symbolic, but I’d like to legally own the house as well. The mortgage was refinanced recently, so we are considering just putting me on the deed.

    We’re starting to partially combine finances but intend to retain some separate accounts (e.g., retirement, a little bit of personal savings, “fun” money checking). The “our” money mindset is definitely taking a little adjustment. Our roof recently needed emergency replacement and due to our current financial circumstances, I paid for most of it (about 10k) with “my” money. I guess it would feel better on an emotional level knowing I own the house I am paying for, even though after we’re married it won’t really matter. Does that make sense?

    But I don’t want to be put on the deed just to “feel” better if there are any financial cons.
    We live in NY which is an equitable distribution state in case of divorce, so I don’t think being on the title would make a difference in that scenario. It does sound like being on the title would make ownership of the house less complicated if my husband dies.

    From a tax perspective, I have never bought a house before but I don’t think there are any first-time home buyer credits any more. We will file taxes jointly, so I don’t think there is an impact there. Are there any cons I’m missing? Any advice? My partner is an attorney (though in a totally different space), so I’m not sure if we’ll need to consult a lawyer.

    • If you’re on the note, you should be on the deed. If you’re not on the note, you shouldn’t be on the deed.

      If you’re on the note, it will show up on your credit report. If you are thinking about buying a car or anything else, maybe don’t do both at the same time if your credit is at all iffy.

      • My husband and I bought our house in VA before we got married. I am the only one on the mortgage given my w2 income (he’s self-employed and underwriting would have been a royal pain given the state of his accounting records), but we put both of us on the deed to make transfer upon death easier, particularly given that we each put in half of the 20% down payment. It also made it more “our” house – I was opposed to living in his condo because (1) we wanted kids soon and I didn’t want to have to move a year after getting married (and here we are, expecting a baby girl) and (2) his parents owned the condo – wanted to get on our own two feet, wanted it to be ours, etc.

    • You live in NY, so being on the deed makes a huge difference. Why do you think it won’t matter? If your fiance owned this house before you got married, it’s premarital separate property, that will not be subject to equitable distribution in the event you divorce. If you’re on the note, get on the deed too. If you’re not on either, get on both.

      • I don’t know NY law, but in my state, the marital residence is marital property if the other party has contributed to the upkeep – i.e., paying expenses with marital funds, doing work to maintain the house, etc. You can parse out what’s “equitable” in a split based on the length of the marriage and the amount of upkeep and that sort of thing. So, it isn’t considered premarital separate property in most cases. But I imagine that it is still helpful to be on the deed.

    • anon for this :

      I was in the same situation. I felt strongly about the symbolism of it, but ended up letting it go as legally (in our state) it was considered joint property – note, title or otherwise. And we actually paid the house off right before the wedding. Also, we knew it wouldn’t be more than a few years before we moved again.

    • AnonMidwest :

      It’s already been said, but you shouldn’t be on the title/deed unless you’re on the Loan/Note. I’ve seen it go bad with a few of my friends when their partner wasn’t.

      • Curious what the reasoning for this is. I could see the other way being bad — being on the loan but not being on the deed. But what’s the drawback to the flip side? As a single woman looking to buy a property, I’ve considered adding my dad/brother to the deed so that in case of my untimely demise it would be easier for them to deal with the property. Am I off course?

        • Yes!!! Oh gosh yes. You are giving them an ownership stake in the house. Depending on circumstances they may be legally entitled to force a sale and partition. Do not do this without consulting an estate planning lawyer.

        • That is what a will/estate documents are for, not deeds.

          • Correct me if I’m wrong, but couldn’t creditors of the brother/dad try to go after it if she put one of their names on it, too? OP, if you want to help them deal with the property upon your death, you need estate planning.

          • Yes Nutella.

            What if Dad needs Medicaid for nursing home one day? Do you want the government to consider your house as one of his assets, that needs to be spent down before he qualifies?

            Agree with Anon…. that is what a will/trust document is for. Not a deed.

    • FYI, in a similar situation my lawyer recommended a warranty deed (not a quit claim deed) to avoid issues with title insurance.

    • Hm. I’m not a lawyer but I’m a person who got divorced and owned a house. Technically, in a community property state, the equity in the house before you get married is his sole and separate property. Once you’re married, whether you pay on the loan or not (divorce court doesn’t care whether you have separate accounts) any gains in equity during your marriage are 50/50.

      If he wants you to truly own 50% of the house you might have to get a lawyer involved to grant you 50% of the current equity.

  14. I would love to hear the hive’s opinion on pharmaceutical companies and what you think of their role in the US healthcare system. I recently had dinner with a number of senior management individuals from one pharma company and was struck by the blatant focus of getting their drugs/products used by as many physicians/patients as possible without much, or really any, regard for whether their product is the appropriate option for a specific patient. Comments included things like “well, if they get our drug before competitor drug, we get more sales. If it doesn’t work out, they can try another option, but we should try to be first for all *disease condition* patients.” If that person had the disease to which he was referring, I highly doubt he’d want to blindly use his company’s product first. So what gives? Am I just oversensitive and this is ethically fine? Or is it not ok and this man is just telling himself it is so that he can bring home a cushy paycheck without having to think deeply about the consequences of pushing a drug that may not be the right choice for certain patients? Is this an isolated mindset in the pharmaceutical industry or is everyone focused on profit first and medicines second – if at all?

    I’ve always thought that this type of thinking was an unfortunate byproduct of an environment where healthcare is sold as a good, and that while some pharma execs only care about profit, that’s not the case for everyone in the industry and that most are motivated at least somewhat by the idea of developing a drug that can save someone’s life. At the end of the day, my view is that organizations that bring life saving drugs to the world deserve fair compensation for their efforts (the definition of fair can be debated) so that there is motivation to continue to do so, but the comments I heard the other night made me uncomfortable and makes me question whether patients in our country are actually receiving the medicines that are most appropriate to them vs. medicines that make certain stakeholders more money.

    • I love our pharma industry. I’m into life saving drugs. I trust my doctors to prescribe what I need and I don’t begrudge them wanting to make money too. It’s a business not a charity of course they talk about wanting to maximize profits.

      • +1 My hate is saved for the insurance companies, not the pharma companies who are working to provide life-saving drugs with fewer side-effects.

        This is how any meeting with sales people goes. They work on commission, the business is a for-profit business, so of course they are talking about how to keep/grow market share and be the go-to solution for consumers.

        However, I also believe that consumers have a duty to question things. Question the docs to make sure they know what their options are. Talk to your doc about side effects you are experiencing. Get a second opinion. We shouldn’t be blindly following anyone when it comes to medical care. Yes, I know this speaks to my privilege that can even think about these sorts of things.

        • How many pharma companies are actually working to provide life-saving drugs with fewer side effects vs. the next viagra or “restless leg syndrome” drug or medicalizing normal life and feelings?

          It’s a complicated issue. If you have a disease that is not very prevalent in the country, pharma companies aren’t going to be doing R&D because the potential customer pool is too small. So much R&D for truly life-saving drugs is done by or funded by the government right now (see Zika); why can’t they also have an impact on pricing for those same drugs to expand access?

          But yes, it’s a complicated issue. And of course, it’s a for-profit industry so they are all about maximizing profits.

          • All of them.

          • Viagra was originally being researched as a heart medication. it was that ‘side effect’ that caused them to change direction.

          • Blonde Lawyer :

            This too. I have another rare issue that there is very little research and no drugs for because so few people have the disease. There is no profit to be had from treating it.

          • Right – which is why I said the next viagra. I know how the first one was made – but other pharma companies try to create their own to cash in on that pool, vs life-saving drugs for rare diseases.

          • Giant Eye Roll :

            A lot of them are working to provide life-saving therapies. I’ve worked for 5 different biopharma companies in my career — none of them were working on “me too” or “lifestyle” drugs. ALL of them were working on rare diseases. Every single one of them.

            And there’s plenty of financial incentive to be working in rare diseases.

        • That’s funny how you think one corporation has a white hat and one corporation has a black hat. They’re all corporations, they’re all chasing shareholder returns, and good people and bad people work at both kinds of companies.

          Pharma companies are not innocent. They fund drug trials that favor their drugs. They put more money into hair and boner loss drugs than life saving drugs like omg coming up with new super-bug resistant antibiotics.

    • When most companies spend only around 18% of revenue on research and development and most of the rest on marketing it gives me pause. Especially when other developed countries dont treat it as a good and their populations are healthier/end up using less medication. However, I understand that its complex issue and there are so many other issues its intertwined with it. Nevertheless, when healthcare becomes a good OF COURSE the industry will care about profit first and foremost (and not always helping people live healthy lives), which, as the kids say these days, is problematic.

      • I assume you mean the so-called Big Pharma companies aren’t spending a lot on R&D – what’s common in this industry is that R&D is done by smaller more nimble biotech companies (and they far exceed 18%), and the companies are then sold to or license their technology to Big Pharma companies for distribution after it’s been de-risked. Big Pharma companies aren’t really set up anymore to do a lot of R&D. They’re set up for marketing.

      • +1. I live in a place where medically lobbying is illegal and we have universal health care. The whole American doctors making millions freaks me out. Doctors here earn about 200k max and it’s a great living that doesn’t compromise public health.

        • I think you can pay doctors 200K if you also don’t graduate them with 3x that in nondischargeable school debt and also give them free health care. But then I’d go into primary care and probably no one would be a surgeon (or if they are, they come to the US).

          • Yea they don’t pay for med school and like everyone else in the country don’t pay for their own health care. My country only really has shortages in rural areas (like everywhere else in the world) because doctors like living in big cities

        • yah given all of the sacrifices it takes to become a doctor, the cost of insurance for doctors, and the years of being underpaid…I don’t think 200k is enough. honestly, most doctors are not making ‘millions’.

          • So tired of the doctors ‘sacrifice’ so much lines. I come from a family of doctors and nurses on my mom’s side. Doctors are not martyrs (except the ones working for MSF) anymore so than school teachers or nurses. It’s a job that serves the public not an entitlement to print currency.

            My European country in-laws are a family of doctors. They live a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle on 100K a year for GPs because they don’t have student loans, or malpractice insurance, or have to pay for their own healthcare. And they have mandatory call weekends once a month so patients can get urgent care when their kids has the flu or sprains a wrist instead of having to go to an emergency room.

          • MSF?

            I agree you can’t really compare with the European system until the US system is similar.

            In the UK, you start medical school as an undergrad degree, so you finish training at a younger age. You don’t pay thousands of dollars to go to college and then hundreds of thousands of dollars to go to medical school etc..

            So I guess you are saying, you want the government to subsidize college, medical school, healthcare, malpractice insurance etc… Maybe not a bad idea! I don’t see it happening anytime soon…. probably never.

          • Agree with oops. And when the government has to subsidize, that means taxes go up.

          • Anonymous :

            MSF = Medicins Sans Frontieres (maybe known as Doctors without Borders in US?) They work in war zones like Syria and South Sudan.

            General taxes don’t have to go up significantly. Just close up the horrendous loopholes that allow the Donald Trump types to pay nothing in taxes. Even non-faux billionaire Warren Buffett said it was unbelievable how little tax he (WB) pays compared to an average person. Taxes may increase but then you’re not paying the huge deductibles and insurance costs that many Americans pay. I’ve literally never received a healthcare bill in my whole life for a hospital stay.Canadians and Europeans don’t actually pay that much more in taxes compared to USA.

            Also, when the population is healthier because they have appropriate healthcare then you don’t have as many people reliant on disability or otherwise unable to work because they have to care for a family member who is not getting appropriate care. And keeping people from being sick or dying in one of the best uses of tax dollars that I can think of.

          • Or instead of taxes going up military spending can go down too…

          • Did you know in Europe most doctors work a 40 hour or less work week? That’s one of the reasons training takes so long- they really don’t work the kind of hours we do in North America. It’s a completely different job. And maybe a lower income is appropriate when you have a job that provides a good standard of living and you didn’t graduate with hundreds of thousands of dollars of debt.

            I graduated from med school 200k in debt. I then spent 5 years working over 100 hours a week every week as a surgical resident. Every third day I worked a 36 hour+ shift (All day, all night, then all day again). The nights I wasn’t on for 36 hours I worked 12-16 hour days. I lived with my boyfriend and sometimes went weeks without seeing him awake because I would get home, sleep for 4 hours, and then immediately go back to work and he would sleep through the whole thing.

            I then did a fellowship and am now a super specialized surgeon doing complex reconstruction after cancer surgery.

            Oh, and in my “time off” I run clinical trials on new cancer medications- I don’t get paid for that by the way. I just want to help find treatments for my terminal patients.

            Also, as a surgeon in a high risk setting, I’m at risk of contracting blood-borne diseases every day operating on high-risk patients. In fact, I have to get checked for HIV and hepatitis annually in order to keep my license. It worries me because I’m hoping to get pregnant soon.

            So yeah. I do deserve more than 100k or even 200k. 100k would barely pay my licensing fees and malpractice insurance, much less loan payments, disability insurance (in case I get HIV or hepatitis operating), or any kind of retirement savings. Physicians assistants at my hospital make almost 100k and they went to school for far fewer than the 14 years it took me to train for my job. They also defer all major decisions to me- I’m the one who makes life or death decisions every day.

            I’m not a martyr and I’m not asking anyone to pay me more because of my “sacrifice”. I’m saying that my training and skill set are valuable and I deserve to be compensated appropriately for what I do just as much as attorneys, lawyers and businesspeople. I am so, so tired of people saying we are all overpaid. I work incredibly hard for my money and I do a lot of work for free (all the patients I see without insurance, and all of the unpaid research work I do). I deserve to be compensated commensurate with the value of my skills which were developed through lengthier and more rigorous training than the vast majority of people undertake.

            By the way, I know very few doctors who make “millions” and all of them do cosmetic surgery- which is a whole different ballgame.

            I’m sorry, I got a bit emotional there, but I am so, so tired of people saying I am overpaid with no concept of what I actually make (much less than many of the other ladies who post on this board) with many years of extremely specialized training and a highly stressful job.

    • I’m an attorney and I’ve worked for both brand and generic pharmaceutical companies. The companies are primarily public companies and have a duty to maximize profits for their shareholders. Capitalism spurs innovation but whether something is actually innovative is measured according to statistics and can be quite complicated. New drugs aren’t always better. And the cost of prolonging life can be exorbitant. This is an incredibly complicated topic. (Even our fearless leader admits healthcare is a hard topic.) I believe pain should be treated, but companies like Purdue have a lot of responsibility for the opioid epidemic. Pharmaceuticals and healthcare in general is one of the great quandries of our time. How do you maximize healthcare outcomes for the greatest number of people?

    • some thoughts :

      I’m a little hesitant to reply, as I worry that this will quickly devolve into uncivil responses, but I guess I will give it a shot.

      I worked in a biotech for a while, so I certainly fall on the “apologist” side more than most but I did see some of what you’re describing and do not condone it. Many many of the bench scientist and product managers are truly focused on improving outcomes, and are frequently in direct contact with both patients and physicians to understand the value of different things that they must choose to tradeoff in a developing their product (e.g. dosing frequency vs. route vs. efficacy vs. side effects – sometimes what doctors and patients want is not what seems to be the obvious answer, and the actual people developing the drug do a pretty good job of figuring that out).

      Also, when you look at the state of health care today, in my mind it is indisputable that the industry has had major benefit. Not only are major diseases of childhood no longer even fathomable – at least for communities where vaccination is treated like the societal benefit that it is – but a whole host of much more rare and or deadly diseases are now just a statement on a health form and not a death sentence. Think of HIV, Hepatitis C, Hemophilia, Cystic Fibrosis, to name a few. There are a lot of diseases where an older generation of patients is not alive because quality care just wasn’t available in the past, but a younger generation is entirely invisible to the public because their conditions are properly managed; and to the general population it’s hard to see these sort of benefits but to the patients themselves it’s huge. I know radiation oncologists who openly wonder about what their field will look like in the future, because of the advances in medical oncology. It is also worth noting that pharmaceutical spending is less than a third of total medical spending in the US and is by and large not the factor that is increasing health care costs for our country.

      There is a lot to be changed for the better. Some things that I do not love include the high price of oncology drugs that only extended survival for a matter of weeks or months, the commercial advantage of focusing on chronic treatments rather than cures or preventative measures like vaccines, and the consolidation of revenues in US/EU/Japan that prevents development of drugs that would actually benefit the largely infectious diseases like tuberculosis that kill many people in developing nations.

      A lot of us who worked in the industry felt that for the type of change you suggest is needed, the only solution is a single payer system, like that in European countries. The reality is that if we continue to treat this industry just like any other business, this is the result you would see, and indeed if I was a shareholder of a company in any other industry that behaved the way a lot of people want pharma to behave, I’d be wondering why the executives were leaving money on the table. A single payer system or much more intense regulation can offer governmental bargaining power and laws that prevent practices that we deem bad, like price increases that outpace inflation. However, it will also slow the pace of research (admittedly, this is an abstract concept since 20 years in the future we’ll never know which medicines would have been produced that weren’t) and likely disadvantage those who have rare diseases, where currently high prices offer significant return for companies (this can be seen in the UK already). The reality is that US voters again and again have argued against these sort of solutions, so here we are.

      It is not an easy industry, and I’m sorry that you were exposed to some of the worst mentalities about it. Please take faith though that there are many people in that industry who truly are motivated by the right reasons.

      • Thank you for your well thought out and informative reply!

      • Anonshmanon :

        This is a great answer.
        I am not surprised that maximizing revenue is a priority for a business. From the shocked tone of OP’s post I am wondering whether the people she talked with were discussing any specific underhand, immoral ways to achieve their goals.

      • I don’t think a single payer system will work in the US. Doctors are so used to making ridiculous amount of money and wealthy patients expect hotel like experiences in hospitals. A single payer system will absolutely keep many more people healthy, but just like how the quality of public school deteriorates when those with economic mobility send their kids to private schools, a single payer system only works well if society as a whole opts into it as a valid system worthy of the investment of public resources.

        • Straight to the moon :

          Two things: 1. A single payer system isn’t one you can opt-out of (as a patient). It’s taxpayer funded and everyone is covered. I guess you could opt not to use the services, but there’s no opting out. 2. There will still be high paid physicians tending to rich people who demand concierge services. I’d be more concerned about the possibility that too many doctors and pharmaceutical would refuse to participate, choosing instead to cater to wealthy patients, and leaving insufficient access to timely care for the rest of us. (Maybe that’s what you meant by “society as a whole” opting in, but that wasn’t clear to me.)

          • Anonymous :

            “I’d be more concerned about the possibility that too many doctors and pharmaceutical would refuse to participate, choosing instead to cater to wealthy patients, and leaving insufficient access to timely care for the rest of us.”

            This is what I was getting at. Canada deals with this problem by prohibiting the private provision of healthcare services. You cannot pay more to go to a private cardiologist, no matter how much money you have, unless you leave the country. Only exceptions are for things not covered by the public system like cosmetic surgery/dermatology unrelated to a medical need. Britain has a national health service that allows a basic level of care through the National Health Service, but if you are wealthy, you can pay for private treatment. European countries have slightly different versions of single payer as well.

        • I’ve worked as an MD in Canada and America. The compensation in a field like mine (surgical oncology) is very comparable. Academic surgeons make a bit more in Canada, while private practice surgeons make a bit more in the US than “community surgeons” (there’s no private practice in Canada) in Canada.

          It’s not a big difference and the lifestyles are comparable.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I don’t love it but I also have a pretty cynical view of the pharm/doc relationships based on my own care and treatment. At the same time, I recognize that doctors are bound by strict rules regarding what they can recommend. Big pharm can pay for those clinical trials. No one is funding the clinical trials on diet instead of meds for example.

      In my case, I have crohns and a really strict diet was my key to remission. I know it doesn’t work for everyone but I had doctors suggesting at one point it did not matter at all. My drugs are really expensive if I didn’t have insurance. Finally the CCFA is funding some research on different diets that have led to remission in patients. I appreciate when a doctor is at least willing to say “there haven’t been studies on this so I can’t truly recommend it but I have had patients experience success with (x diet) and it can’t really hurt to try it.” That or at least believe me when I say the diet has been the key to my remission.

      I still take my maintenance meds at my doctor’s insistence but I’ve been able to avoid some bigger meds this way.

      Also an interesting note. Nestle made a liquid diet treatment called Modulen. It was like Ensure. The idea was you drink this prescription drink to get all of your nutrients while giving your guts a rest from digesting solid food. It was huge in other countries but unavailable in the US. That kind of thing gets me angry. Why was it blocked here?

    • Sales vs. scientists. Execs are so often like this. It doesn’t mean the rank and file people getting the job done don’t care, just that the execs have been in their cushy yacht world so long they’ve forgotten about the mission. (Also likely: they were never part of the mission and were brought in solely to boost profitability…so they’re just naturally slimy.)

      • I was going to say something similar. The scientists probably do care about finding a life saving drug. The sales people care about making their quotas and commissions, which in some ways is an unfortunate byproduct of a capitalist economy. On the one hand, there is incentive to produce said drug to make sales, and on the other hand there is incentive to sell sell sell regardless of the benefit.

        The movie Dallas Buyers Club, which is based on a true story, comes to mind. It really made me jaded of the pharmaceutical industry.

      • I know a pharma exec who is the most optimistic person you have ever met. It is his genuine goal to find a cure for cancer and Alzheimer’s and he says so all the time. I think in part it might be because he has always been in healthcare so it is his mission, too, just as much as the scientists/R&D and he sees it as his job to ensure that R&D has enough funding, support, and infrastructure to creatively attack these problems and think about treatments, cures, and preventions in new ways.

    • Healthcare should be a basic right and not dictated by the free market, in any way. Like a poster above I think insurance companies have more of a hand in this issue than the pharmaceutical companies, but there are lots of factors are play here. Nobody should be making a profit off of people’s healthcare.

      • I’ll engage a little – if there is no profit motive, how do you see drug developers coming up with the incentives to invest in clinical research? Drugs cost between $250-1b according to most estimates I’ve seen (in the healthcare finance industry). Right now, that work is funded mostly either by venture capital or public equity initially, and later by licensing upfronts or M&A.

        Don’t get me wrong, there is a lot wrong with the system, but I haven’t seen a good replacement for this piece of the puzzle.

        • I think it’s more a question of moderating the profit motive. For example, in Canada – it’s illegal to advertise a specific drug to the public. It’s designed to prevent patients from deciding the need a certain drug based on a television commercial and then bugging their doctor for it. Pharmaceutical companies can run ads to bring awareness to particular conditions with the hopes that patients will then approach their doctor about options for treatment and their drug might be suggested by the doctor.

          Another alternative, if pharm companies were run as not for profits then all the profits would get reinvested into clinical research and development of new drugs.

          • And Canada doesn’t develop many drugs because of this.

            Who would allocate the profits back to research? The government? We’re seeing what happens when the government is in charge of that…

          • Canada is also one tenth the size of the US or EU, it’s not exactly shocking that we don’t develop the same amount of drugs. Also, no idea how you think my ideas relate to that. Canadian drug companies are for profit private enterprises so apparently the for profit model is either not working well enough for you or you think that drug company success is dependent on direct tv commercials.

            In terms of who would decide how research money gets spent – could it really be worse than the current maximum profit model that brings us ten versions of viagra and nothing for orphan diseases? I would certainly trust public health specialists over for profit drug company CEOS. Are you not familiar with other not-for-profit health care entities? – Planned Parenthood and MSF are both well run. There’s no reason that drug companies couldn’t operate on the same model – drug sales would take the place of the donations that those organizations receive.

          • Anonymous :

            Canada doesn’t develop drugs even in proportion to its population.

            My point on allocation is that someone has to decide how a limited pool of funds gets spent. If it’s the government, it’s subject to politics. If it’s donations, it’s subject to the whims of the population. I don’t know much about planners parenthoods fiannces but I do know that the government is trying g really hard not to fund them. Not sure how’d you like drug discovery to be funded by them.

            Finally it’s hyperbolic to say nothing g gets done for orphan diseases. It’s one of the areas that has gotten much of the funding dollars in recent years. But that’s because of profit motive.

          • Anonymous :

            Can you read or are you a troll? Why on earth your PP run or fund drug research or have any involvement at all? I did not suggest that in anyway. It was an analogy to a successful healthcare non-profit that provides competent services. I also don’t think MSF should run drug research in case that analogy was confusing to you as well. Govt is trying to defund PP because Repubs are opposed to a full range of choice being offered to women in their healthcare services. Zero to do with PP not being run well.

            I would hope that the scientists working drug research want to cure diseases because that in and of itself is a goal. Not because someone wants to make a bunch of money off people being sick which is a morally repugnant idea.

          • Anonymous :

            The point is, PP and MSF may be well run but they are subject to the whims of their donors. Same if pharma companies were run as nonprofits, as you suggested. *Someone* has to fund this work, and it’s ridiculously expensive. And someone has to allocate the capital. I don’t think you really want donors or a government doing it.

          • Anonymous :

            Which is why I stated that the drug sales would take the place of donations (comment at 12:43)

          • Again, EYE ROLL. There’s no way that you’re going to get your rare disease drugs or your really life-saving cancer meds if you’re running it as a not-for-profit. You just won’t. You need the capital to invest in first the research and then running the clinical trials, which can cost hundreds of millions of dollars. And if you have a drug fail in the clinic? Millions down the drain.

            Oh, you’re going to funnel the sales of your drugs back into R&D? So cute. I assume you must be pricing the sh-t out of the those drugs if you’re going to have enough to fund your R&D.

    • I’m not sure that pharmaceutical sales is shadier than other sales positions, and it’s not really the sales people’s fault that the product is so much more sensitive, but I can think of a number of ethically controversial practices that have come up in the press and/or in conversation with doctors (my perspective is totally the outside perspective of a patient!). For example, pharmaceutical companies work hard to discover and track individual doctors’ prescribing habits, and patient data is bought and sold for marketing purposes rather than research. People have argued for and against these practices. There is also a lot of controversy over off-label prescribing and research that expands the market for specific lucrative medications (and the FDA has cracked down on pharmaceutical companies at various times, especially when this has gone badly). I have no expertise to take sides in such debates, but I notice when doctors aren’t on board with what the pharmaceutical companies are pushing. I’ve spoken with doctors who are are quite skeptical how pharmaceutical companies release “new” drugs that are actually old drugs in new combinations or time-release formulas, just in time to compete with generics. That’s more of an eye roll issue and a decision whether to save an insurance company some money or not. More disturbing is when pharmaceutical companies have gotten in trouble (again, with the FDA) when it’s been demonstrated that they knew about side effects (sometimes quite dangerous) and kept this research hidden and unpublished until (a) the drug went generic, (b) they had a new alternative waiting in the wings. Then they publish the research about alarming side effects of old drugs that they no longer have a monopoly on, in order to promote the new drug they have available for the same condition. Then there are specific companies that are especially ethically challenged. For example, Bayer has gotten in trouble for rerouting defective formulations (so, drugs that won’t really work) to third world markets. This is all me remembering ethical stuff that’s made it into the news, so you would want to read about any of that for yourself if you are interested. I’m extremely grateful for pharmaceutical research, and there are a lot of good people working to save and improve lives despite shady business and research decisions they have no control over. On the other hand, some doctors are frustrated that the rate of innovation has slowed, and some scientists counter that innovative research isn’t getting as much funding as you might think, because they feel they are in competition with these easier ways of making money (=coming up with ways to market existing drugs as new drugs, or for new populations, or for new conditions). I don’t know whether that narrative is true, but I think the fact that the controversy exists even inside of pharm companies supports the reaction you had.

      • (I guess it’s obvious that I really do take a side in these debates–but it’s more that I want the whole field of health care to work really differently; I’m not sure we can ask companies not to act like companies in a capitalistic market.)

    • I love that there are such diverse perspectives here!

      I’ll come at it from the provider finance side. I work for a large not-for-profit hospital, and we regularly deal with volatility in drug purchasing. Prices for established drugs suddenly quadruple (see Valeant) or low-cost but necessary drugs are unavailable at any price. Any such volatility can and does negatively impact patient care.

      Insurance companies are absolutely bad guys in the healthcare universe. More and more, so are pharmaceutical companies. Some physicians look at profits over patient care. And I won’t exclude hospitals from the list, although I think the for-profits are usually worse than the non-profits. American healthcare is expensive because there are multiple layers of profit-taking on every healthcare dollar spent.

      I think that single-payer is the solution, but it will cause other problems. The administrative simplification of single-payer means a lot of healthcare and healthcare-adjacent jobs become redundant. That’s the way to reduce costs, but how do we handle the influx of unemployment? I wish I had the answers.

      • Anonymous :

        This is a great post. A switch to a single payer system is incredible complicated when so many people are employed and so many companies are profiting off the layers of profit-taking on healthcare services.

    • Work got unexpectedly busy this morning, but thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts! I will read tonight and look forward to reflecting more on this topic.

      • some thoughts :

        I posted earlier this morning and just wanted to thank you for starting such an interesting conversation. As much as I enjoy the clothing and life and etiquette conversations on here, there is nothing I love more than a true discussion of issues and ethics and information with other smart and informed women. Thank you for getting that in motion!

      • I agree. This was a fascinating discussion and I learned so much.

    • I am a physician who worked in pharma before med school and this is why I’m posting anonymously–I do not trust pharma to make appropriate recommendations. That is my job, and I think it is an ethical imperative in our field to steer clear of conflict of interest for that reason. After all, these companies are the reason we have periodic vaccine shortages because vaccines do not return a profit. I also believe our healthcare system (I trained and practice in the US) is absolutely broken and that no one should be bankrupted for having the audacity to become ill. I know I sound totally bitter and I am–just wanted to give you an honest answer. I am preparing to leave medicine entirely in a few months.

      • anon urologist :

        and do what?

        • First have a baby :) (I’m due in a few months.). Then I will likely do some freelance writing work for a bit and possibly some expert witness work as well. I’ve got an upcoming meeting with Doctors Crossing, an organization that helps physicians transition to other careers.

  15. Trunk Club? :

    I’ve been subscribing to Stitchfix for a few months, my general feeling is – meh. I do like the convenience, though. I’m considering switching to Trunk Club since most of my non-Stitch Fix purchases are from Nordstrom anyway. Does anyone have experience, good or bad, on this service?

    • I went to the brick and mortar store in DC and was not impressed. Had high hopes but the issue is that they have limited inventory and need to schlep each time to Nordstrom to pick up new items. I would sooner just save yourself the hassle and go directly to a Nordstrom stylist.

    • If this is worth anything at all, my boyfriend does Trunk Club for men and we’re both pleased with it. He has an outdoorsy, casual style that they’ve been surprisingly good at nailing. He started before we met, and I was really surprised – I thought their men’s selection would be all preppy pastels and dry clean only, but they do accessible yet put together really well.

      • housecounsel :

        Trunk Club has better stuff, but I quit using it because my shopper, fresh out of college, kept sending me things way out of my price range. I originally signed up to help a friend’s daughter who got a job there. The sales pressure they put on these kids is intense. Giving up this designer cashmere sweater she sent me felt like giving up a beloved pet!

        FYI, if we are discussing these types of services, I did Le Tote for a while. I liked the accessories they sent, but the quality of the clothing was often abysmal. They advertised Free People and that sort of thing, but for every Free People piece I received 10 that were clearance rack at discount store quality.

        • Maddie Ross :

          This re Le Tote. I wanted to like it and I liked the idea of it, but most of the items they sent felt like they could have been purchased for the amount I was paying each month from TJ Maxx. And the brands were things like “Nine West” clothing or things from second tier level department stores (think Kohls or Stein Mart). And some of what I received seemed shop-worn. I did like the accessories though. In that vein, has anyone tried RocksBox?

    • I’ve been much happier with it than Stitch Fix, but I don’t think either works as well as they could. I do like that if I like an item from Trunk Club but want a different color or size, I can order it myself from Nordstrom. I think of it just as a good way to try on Nordstrom items for future reference. My biggest problem with Stitch Fix was that all the clothes were low quality (and even when I tried to raise my price point, they never sent anything nicer). That isn’t a problem with Trunk Club and sometimes I have to restrain myself to not over-spend.

    • I love Trunk Club, but go to a brick-and-mortar location. I also go on weekdays when the stylists are able to pull from more stores (my understanding is that if you go on weekends they’re a little more limited in what they can pull). Here’s why I like it:

      – there’s a bar. Give me a glass of bubbles while I shop and I’m a happy camper.
      – my stylist nailed my preferences and had pulled a rack of things I liked and that fit. I asked for upgraded work basics, and I got all of those plus styling tips on how to pull looks together with a few key pieces.
      – I needed several items tailored, and they have an in-house tailor. So I decided what to buy, tailor came over and fitted them, then items were mailed to me. Tailoring was perfect.
      -prices were competitive (ie exactly what you see on the Nordstrom site).
      – there’s a bar.

    • I had great luck with Trunk club and recommend my stylist, Jade. You have to be prepared to pay Nordstrom level prices – this ain’t Zulily- but since you shop there already you should be comfortable. This goes along with the fewer, better quality thing.

    • Senior Attorney :

      My husband has been using Trunk Club for about a year and loves it. I got one trunk and although I liked what they sent me, the prices were sky high and I couldn’t quite stomach that price point on a regular basis.

      I like Stitch Fix for casual pieces to perk up my wardrobe for the current season. The quality is definitely not even close to Trunk Club, though.

    • Anonymama :

      I’ve used it. The clothes were lovely, but expensive, and I sort of felt that they were pushing certain very expensive items that didn’t really fit what I asked for (ugly Burberry raincoat, I’m looking at you). But I’m also pretty cheap when it comes to clothes and wasn’t great at giving feedback to the shopper. I did get some very nice things that I wear a lot, and it was nice to try on items that were just a little nicer, and trendier than my normal wheelhouse.

  16. Is there a site/browser extension like CamelCamelCamel but for clothing sites generally? I know about sites like Lyst that will let you set an alert when an item goes on sale, but I’d like something that is backward-looking so I can see if an item is at a historically low price or if I should hold out longer for a better sale.

  17. I don’t have an assistant assigned to me, but I can borrow one as needed. (I’m gov’t relations, so sometimes I need help on volume projects, but the vast majority of time I don’t need anyone.) I asked an assistant to help me build a roster of contacts for X issue. It was such a simple assignment – call and ask who handles X for the organization and write down their name, email, address, and phone in Excel.

    The list came back to me with blanks (no explanation) and typos (half a dozen emails bounced back) and the formatting wasn’t uniform across the document (that’s totally an insignificant personal pet peeve, but really). Overall, it’s probably an 80% solution.

    Since she’s not my assistant, do I say something and get these things corrected or do I just be glad for the 80% and finish it myself? She asked to help on future tasks, and I do need another roster prepared, but I don’t want to have to go behind her to correct this stuff.

    • Talk to her. “Hey thanks for getting this together. Could you take another look at the formatting and make sure it’s consistent and I notice a few blanks, what’s going on with them.”

    • Say something! Otherwise she’ll never know there was a problem.

    • In my experience, if I delegate something and it comes back incorrectly, either the person doesn’t understand the project or I didn’t explain what I wanted done. I also think it takes a while for people working together to understand each other/make jumps about certain preferences for certain people. If you ever intend to work with this person again, I’d talk with them.

      Based on the three things you mentioned above, only one of them seems to be an issue that is inexcusable – the typos. The formatting, as you pointed out, is a personal pet peeve and while it may drive you crazy, she probably doesn’t care. The blanks – well, unless you asked to have some summary/explanation as to why there was no contact, I’d say that was a communication issue on your part. I do think she should have come to you and maybe said, “hey, I have done 80% of this and there are some blanks. where there is a blank it means that there isn’t a person to contact/that person is out on leave/they are in the process of hiring that person(whatever it may be). what would you like me to put in these blanks.” But, not everyone does that.

    • RunnerInDC :

      I just hold my keys. I can’t stand the constant “chink” sound every time I take a step.

  18. Runners: I am starting to run outdoors to do a half-marathon in July and don’t know what to do with my keys. Any suggestions?
    Also, what do you wear for shorts or pants? My tight running pants are fine in the gym but I don’t want to run through the streets in them.
    And what headphones do you like for running?

    • You can get a wristband that will hold your keys, or you can tuck them in the built-in pocket in your running bottoms (if it has one).

      I wear spandex shorts or running shorts of various varieties. My spandex shorts are all Nike; my regular running shorts are just kind of whatever was on sale. I’ve never found that there was much difference between different regular running shorts or much value in paying more.

    • TorontoNewbie :

      Depends on size of your keys. I have an armband thing that my phone fits in that also has a little zippered pocket for my house key. If I don’t want my phone on me, I generally just tie the strap my house key is on around my bra strap and tuck it down there.

      I wear shorts or tights, but I see a lot of people running with shorts over top of tights if you’re uncomfortable about just wearing something that form fitting outside. Most of my shorts are actually just guy soccer shorts. Knee length and baggy. I don’t really care what people think about my behind when I run and they’re the most comfortable for me. Plus, no chafing! And they’re way cheaper than men’s shorts.

    • I have a single house key that’s separate from my keychain, which I use for running. So I don’t run with all my keys—just the single key I need to lock and unlock the house. I usually just put my key into the little pouch in my running shorts and, like anon above, I buy whatever running shorts seem to be on sale. They’re much cooler than wearing tights in the summer although if your thighs rub together then you may want to consider staying with some kind of spandex capris or shorts.

      I’d also suggest a Road ID, as I do to everyone who runs outside. I have one that fits on my shoe and also has space for some cash and a key if you prefer not to use the unsecured pocket in your shorts or if your shorts don’t have the little pocket.

      Good luck in your training! I think the half is the perfect distance race.

      • +1 to RoadID – I have the bracelet. I also use the phone eCrumb tracking app most of the time so someone knows where I am/if I am stationary too long/don’t come back in time.

    • Baconpancakes :

      I have a pair of Yurbuds I’m pretty happy with, but I think when these break I might look into getting a pair of wireless earbuds. They don’t fall out and are not noise-cancelling for safety when you’re in the street. For keys, I’d suggest getting a single housekey separate from your ring of keys, and then slip that into your armband (I assume you’re wearing one since you’re looking for headphones). Most armbands have a slot for a key and a credit card/id.

      • New Tampanian :

        I have wireless yurbuds and I like them.

        For keys, I run with a handheld waterbottle thingy that you put your hand through so you really don’t have to put effort into holding it. Anyway, it has a pocket.

    • Keys – it depends on the length of the run. On shorter runs, my house or car key are hooked on the key loop of my FlipBelt or using a carabiner hooked to my shoe laces (this is my method when I only have a house key). On longer runs, I usually have my hydration pack with me and my keys get zipped into one of the pockets there.

      Shorts – I run in one of two types of shorts, UA Perfect Pace shorts (purchased before the Trump thing) or shorty short spandex shorts (when it’s uber hot and during races). I have a variety of the latter ranging from Oiselle to Target T9 brand. The latter is probably not helpful if you aren’t comfortable running in your tights.

      • My PSA for the day: if you really must listen to something while running, please consider only using one earbud so you can still hear what is going on around you. I don’t listen to anything as I only have one good ear and I just don’t care for it.

    • First Year Anon :

      I have shorts and crops that have a back-zip pocket or side pockets that I store my keys in. Once upon a time I would stuff my key in the side of my sports bra :). That also worked well until I had to grab it to open the door and people would see me rummaging in there but I don’t really care!

      Why don’t you want to wear tight pants? That’s what I wear all winter! I think you have to try on a variety of brands and see what works for you- I find comfortable shorts to be key. I have Brooks running shorts that I love, ad*d*as ones that are pretty good too, and some lulu crops and a pair of their fitted shorts which are the first tight shorts I can wear without them riding up! (the most recent versions have lots of pockets which is amazing). A lot of people seem t like the nike ones too.

      As for headphones, I just use my Iphone ones. If I was splurgy I’d get bluetooth ones like jaybirds.

    • I have a big keyless entry thing for my car and a big Otterbox on my phone, so I need more than the little pockets in my shorts. I use a Spibelt for my keys and phone: https://spibelt.com/

      I like skirt sports’ products and Saucony shorts (I seem to have many pairs of the Run Lux style, which is longer). In the winter I wore a nice pair of Athleta workout pants that I loved (and were perfect in petite L).

      I just crushed my Yurbuds headphones in the car door (oops). I’ll probably just replace them for now.

      Happy running!

    • I mostly run with the stroller these days but before baby I would tie the single key (car or house depending where I was) in my shoelaces. That worked well for me for years.

    • If my shorts don’t have a pouch/pocket, I take my single house key off the chain and thread my shoelaces through it before tying.

    • Re:keys. My housecleaner asked me to install a combination lock box with a key to the backdoor. She does this with all of her clients so she isn’t carrying around a huge keychain. That thing has been a lifesaver. No more getting locked out of the house. No worries if one of us (usually my teeenagers) can’t find their key. We should have installed one a long time ago.

      Anyway, this would also be a great solution for running and where to put your keys.

    • I exclusively buy tights/knicker/shorts with pockets now, so I can carry my ID and house or car key. Luckily clothing manufacturers are catching on to the fact that women need pockets!

      I wear knickers or tights all winter, and shorts during the summer. I like 6″ inseam shorts to avoid chafing.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      I use a waist pack (yes, it is a slim fanny pack) so it can hold my keys, phone, and also I can clip on small bottles for water/nutrition.

      Why don’t you want to wear running tights in the cold weather? This is pretty standard for runners to wear. But like someone said, you could put a pair of shorts over if you really wanted to. There are also running pants that are not tights with tapered legs. I’d check out Hind for that. Shorts-I like Sugoi, Hind, and Brooks the best in the traditional running short style.

      Headphones? I just use earbuds and string them under my shirt, but on top of my sports bra. If it is hot and I am just wearing a sports bra or tank with built in bra, then I string it under that. They are cheap headphones, so I don’t mind the sweat getting on the wire.

      You didn’t ask, but shoes. Mizuno is an overlooked brand.

    • If you run from home, get a keybox.

  19. Baconpancakes :

    Per someone here’s recommendation, I’m looking at the Cole Haan Zerogrand Wingtips, but I’m having trouble deciding between the pink and the tan. I feel like the pink is very “now” (yes I am a snake person), but the black sole seems a bit much for me. My spring wardrobe is primarily light blue, navy, tan, and pink, so it goes with my colors, and I did just buy a pair of tan booties. Can you have too many tan pairs of shoes?

    • Def the tan. The pink would be great if the soles were white.

      • Argh I looked these up and now I must have the tortoise patent ones.

        I saw there were two pink shades with a white sole (the coral I liked) on Amazon…larger sizes only though.

  20. taxes argh :

    Say you are just looking at your W2 and see that it listed your address in State X where you didn’t live this year–so your state taxes have been withheld for State X. But really you lived in State Y, and of course no taxes were withheld in State Y. I’m guessing it’s too late to correct W2. Will TurboTax magically handle this for me if I put in the relevant info?

    • Your address doesn’t matter – what’s in Boxes 15-17 matters. You’ll have to file in both states and get a refund from X and pay Y.

      And if Box 15 is wrong, change your W4 with your employer stat.

    • You have to file with both states and definitely go to your employer and make sure they’ve fixed this!

  21. We’re about to buy our first home, and I’m having trouble figuring out what our tax benefits will look like (not sure if this is something our lender is supposed to help with but he hasn’t been helpful here). If we buy a $750K house, and pay about $3600/month ($650 of that being property tax), if you assume a marginal tax rate of 28%, how much should we expect to get back in taxes (averaged out by month)? Is that something I can figure out for myself? Thanks.

    • You’d be paying $7800 in property taxes per year, so (assuming no other significant deductions that lower your marginal tax rate) you’d expect to be getting a tax savings of 28% of that, or $2184.
      But you may not get any tax benefits the first year. Property taxes usually take a while to come due, and you get the benefit in the year you pay the tax, even if the tax is being applied to a previous year (e.g., if you pay 2016 property taxes in 2017, you get the deduction in tax year 2017 or when you file your taxes in early 2018 – so there’s a bit of a lag).

      • Thank you, that’s really helpful! We are trying to figure out what our actual monthly expenses look like after accounting for all taxes. This is great.

      • Assuming no AMT.

        Also, you could (assuming no and) deduct interest as well.

        We have a house of similar payment, and we only get a piece of our benefit since we’re in AMT territory.

    • Yeah, it’s something you can figure out for yourself. It’s not something your lender would do for you (it’s something you could theoretically ask your CPA, I suppose).

      Here’s how I do it — I look at the mortgage loan amortization table (log in to your mortgage loan online to find this) that shows you how much principal and interest you pay each month. Add up all the interest for the year, add in your annual property tax, multiply by your marginal tax rate (e.g., 0.28), and that will give you the total amount of taxes you should get back that year. Divide by 12 for the monthly average.

    • You can also deduct points, if you’re paying any, in the first year you own the home.

    • Good at Math :

      Apply the marginal rate to the interest and property taxes. The interest amount reduces slightly each month as you chip away at your loan balance. The lender should be able to provide a payment schedule that breaks down the principal and interest you will pay each month for the life of the loan. You can also make your own in Excel if you know the loan terms.

    • Anonymous :

      If you get mortgage insurance, it’s also deductible if your joint income is less than 100k.

  22. This morning I got catcalled/sworn at three times in three blocks. By the third one I was considering sacrificing my hot coffee for the cause.

    • Every time some douche white guy goes on a sho0ting rampage because he thought that women owed him something he wasn’t getting, I idly think about how it’s a wonder it’s never the other way around. Because the gender that has the actual right to be angry is women. Being a woman gets so damn exhausting sometimes.

      The other day I had my car windows down enjoying the nice spring weather, only to stop at a red light next to some tool who used the opportunity to start yelling stuff at me. Can I not even enjoy the fresh air? Is that too much to allow me?

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      The other night I got told to “Shut the F**K up, you f**king BI*CH” while walking past a homeless guy while talking on my phone to my mom. At first I thought he wasn’t talking to me and when I realized he was, I turned and gave him the death-glare. Another guy saw it happen and told the first guy to “take your own advice, sh*thead” and then walked with me to the drugstore I was on the way to because I was pretty obviously shaking and upset. I’m usually okay at ignoring it, but this guy seemed outwardly angry rather than just being a misogynistic jerk.

    • I am chubby so I don’t get catcalled per se because those groups of guys (construction workers, whatever) would eviscerate any of their bros who said anything nice about an overweight woman.

      But one on one, just passing a guy on the street, I get unsolicited comments ranging from “you look nice today” to “I like how you move, mama”. Sometimes i reflexively say thanks. Sometimes I ignore and keep moving. Well, I always keep moving. But regardless, I very often get a “I GAVE YOU A COMPLIMENT, YOU FAR B1TCh!” hurled at the back of my head.

      • *FAT

      • Anonymous :

        I actually had a guy yell “hey white Ashley Graham, white Ashley Graham” from a car the other day. When I didn’t respond I got the “I was trying to be nice you fat b ****” comment. I don’t understand street harassment period but when they follow up the “compliment” by cursing you – what is that supposed to accomplish? How do they think you’re going to respond to that? My response was, I better get my phone ready in case I need to call the police. Is that the response these guys are looking for?

        • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

          This reminds me I once had a man run towards me at LAX and he was CONVINCED I was Kendall Jenner. I am obviously not. I couldn’t get him to leave me alone and then he started taking pictures of me with his phone. I threatened to crush him and his phone if he didn’t go to another security line. He left, but not without calling me names and telling me Kylie is hotter. Sigh.

    • Ugh. Sorry you had that bad experience.

    • Anonymous :

      It happens to me all the time and I usually just ignore it. If I am in a bad mood, sometimes I flip them off. I don’t mind the yelling or whistling so much as when they stop the car and ask if I need a ride when I am clearly in workout clothes on a run. I’m like no?! That bothers me, or the time a homeless man tried to hug me. But I think he was mentally ill, so I tried to nicely refuse. My (male, if it matters) co-worker (we were walking back from the courthouse) eventually stepped in between us and kind of pushed him off of me.

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        1. I once got catcalled extensively while walking with my boss. We both kind of pretended it wasn’t happening while both being very uncomfortable and then we crossed the street. Never brought it up again.

        2. A dude near the law school I went to sat in the same place every day and catcalled women obsessively. One day, he told me “You got a haircut, b**ch!” and it upset me so much that he called me that and that he had paid enough attention to notice my minor haircut that I stopped and screamed at him to NEVER speak to me again, under ANY circumstances or so help me God I would make him regret it. From then on, he would catcall women until he saw me, go silent when I passed by looking frightened (which is hilarious since I’m petite and look about 18) and then pick it right back up.

    • I was just thinking this morning–I know it’s unfair to generalize to an entire gender, but I will anonymously confess to a general dislike of men since the election. I mean, i make the obvious exception for my husband and a handful of other guys, but I frequently find myself out in public thinking how much I can’t stand men I don’t know (and some I do know.)

      • nasty woman :

        You are NOT alone. I could have written this post. I have been very disinterested in men–and even more invested in the women in my world–since the election.

        I am lucky to be able to say that the vast majority of men in my life have treated me well. (not all men. (hah)). But after the election the degree of exhaustion I feel about my womanness skyrocketed. I’m angry at men for doing this. I’m SO angry at the constant assault on reproductive healthcare. I’m envious of the way my white male peers have an easier time in their careers (lawyer). I am SO TIRED of pointing out example after example of sexism in the world and being told “NUH UH THERE IS NO WAGE GAP! SEXISM IS OVER!” Bro, my literal life experience is different. And yet, whatever I say is invalid ’cause you don’t want to hear it. Tired of the gaslighting. Ugh.

    • Anomnibus :

      Yesterday I ran an errand at lunch, and noticed men standing around, staring at women. I live in a city that gets really cold in the winter, and I swear, it’s tradition for men to go outside just to unapologetically oggle women on the first warm day of the year, knowing the coats are off and the sundresses are on. They’ll even post about it on social media and act like it’s totally innocent. I wasn’t dressed all that provocatively, but the way some of those men were looking at me . . . well, I’m beginning to understand why some women choose ultra-modest attire . . .

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      I don’t really get catcalled, and I think a big part of it is because I am a tall-looking 5’11”, not curvy, and obviously muscular. I can walk down a street in short shorts and a midriff top and nada. I have a close friend that I spend a lot of time with, that regardless of how conservatively she tries to dress, men lose their minds around her. I feel really bad for her. It seems so exhausting. I have spoken up for her multiple times and I just get called a skinny b*tch. I don’t get these guys’ MO. This can’t ever work to their advantage.

      • I don’t think males who catcall are doing it with the motive of picking anyone up–I think they are extremely insecure in their masculinity and are seeking to assert a sort of dominance and feel empowered when they elicit a “gasp!”-type reaction, in the same manner that a flasher would. I also think most of these guys have a substantial hatred of women.

  23. I applied for a job a while back that I was underqualified for, but it was at an organization I’m really interested in. I’d already networked with the president, so I emailed him and said I was applying and was brought in for an interview anyways. It went okay but it was pretty obvious the GC didn’t think I had enough experience. She said to go ahead and apply for other positions in the future, but who knows if she was just being polite.

    Fast forward a little over a year and there’s a job posting that is looking for my level of experience. I don’t have direct experience, but on paper I look pretty good. I definitely want to apply. Is it weird to follow-up again with the president “hey, I’m applying for a job with you guys again!” or the GC, “hey we met and that wasn’t a good fit but I think this one would be!”

    How would you word the email to the GC? I don’t want to overnetwork this, but I think there will be a lot of applications and I want to make sure I get an interview!

    • I don’t think any of your ideas are going to guarantee you an interview. I think you should just focus on putting together the best possible application you can. That’s going to be a lot more impressive than bugging somebody who interviewed you and rejected you a year ago.

    • I think I would email the president since it sounds like you already had a networking relationship with this person. I don’t think it would hurt to say you’re still really interested in the company and have been keeping a close eye out for opportunities that might be a good fit and that you’ve applied for this one. But I don’t think I would email the GC. I don’t think having interviewed with a person once is enough of a connection for that kind of thing, especially where you already have a connection with the president. If the president likes you, they can forward your information and a recommendation to the GC anyway. Just my two cents.

  24. Tax question for the group: I’m filing state returns for several years going back for a rental property I own in another state. I didn’t file previously because we always generated a loss and I misread the requirements for filing. Anyway, I’m now catching up so we can sell the house someday. This is really an admin task so that I can say we filed each year. No taxes have been or will be due, by a long shot (thanks depreciation!).

    In the course of doing several years of these tax returns in a row, I’m realizing that I may have made a couple small errors or misinterpreted the wording of something that changes the numbers a little but still doesn’t result in any tax liability.

    Would you edit the prior year returns or correct the error as you uncover it and keep going?

    • Completely depends on what the nature of the error is – but if you are needing to do any interpreting of the law I would highly suggest using a CPA for this project. They can review whatever you’ve filed so far, determine what if anything needs correcting, and file the rest. State tax law can be …odd.. and since you are doing this specifically to ensure you have losses to use when you sell this house in the future, it really makes sense to do this right.

      • Anonymous :

        Sorry, to clarify, I’m doing it just to report the income to the state, not to preserve any losses per se with the state. It’s strictly administrative – i.e. no one is even going to look at these, since they go back 10 years+ – I just need them on file. So I really don’t want a CPA involved, if one would even sign up to review non-resident tax returns going back 10 years.

  25. How much do you think it matters for your professional success whether you’re well dressed or not?

    • Depends what you mean by well dressed. Being put together, in clothes that are in good condition, fit properly, and suit your work place’s dress code makes a huge difference. Fair or not, people judge based on appearances. Perfectly tailored designer clothes? Not necessary.

      • +1 I think most employers want people who are appropriately dressed in the way AZCPA describes.

      • Anonymous :

        “Being put together, in clothes that are in good condition, fit properly, and suit your work place’s dress code makes a huge difference.” YES. Exactly.

        And yes, people do judge on appearances, but there’s also an aspect of demonstrating of understanding the corporate culture, your role, your clients, etc.

      • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

        Yeah, appropriately dressed is what matters.

    • Anonymous :

      For me, none. Well dressed but no career success.

  26. I watched this the other day as it was embedded in an article about Aidy Bryant. I keep thinking about it so I’m sharing it here. It hits so close to home.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KFdWcNJ17YY

    • She’s such an amazing actress, by the way. I’d really like to see her in a lead role rather than quirky sidekick.

    • Still one of the best scenes from this show (which has a lot of these kind of great, thought-provoking, funny but serious scenes).

  27. someone please buy this dress :

    so that i can live through you vicariously.

    https://www.us.purecollection.com/all-clothing/women-dresses/silk_wrap_dress_charcoal_animal_stripe.htm

    swoon. on sale today! and several positive reviews for larger sizes.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Oh my gosh! I didn’t buy the dress but I did spring for a 30%-off cashmere sweater. Thanks for the link — I hadn’t seen that site before!

    • I love this dress! Probably not an impulse buy, but I’m going to add it to my list to think about :) Thanks!

Add a Comment

Thank you for commenting. On the off chance that your comment goes to moderation, note that a moderation message will only appear if you enter an email address. If you have any questions please check out our commenting policy.

work fashion blog press mentions