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Splurge Monday’s TPS Report: Emilio Pucci Printed Silk Satin-Jersey Dress

Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Emilio Pucci Printed silk satin-jersey dressI’m a big fan of Emilio Pucci in general, and I’m particularly loving the dark blues and greens and purples that the designer has out this season. I’m drooling over this silk satin-jersey dress — the vibrant colors would work for spring or fall, and I like the ladylike length and the printed belt. It’s $1,750 at Net-a-Porter. Emilio Pucci Printed Silk Satin-Jersey Dress

Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail [email protected] with “TPS” in the subject line.
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Comments

  1. love love love this! wish i could afford it! on an unrelated note, I was hoping for some advice on skin care. I’ve been using clarisonic mia for five months, and recently bought periccone skin clear cleaners to go with it. I’ve been using the cleanser for two weeks, and i don’t see any improvement in breakouts (in fact i’m in the middle of a terrible break out now) and my skin feels super oily. the cleansers is creamier looking then any i have ever used, but was assured by the sephora rep that it would clear breakouts. i have combo skin to begin with, and battle with whiteheads and breakouts. anyone use this cleanser or have advice on whether this is normal in the first couple weeks? i also use aqua glycolic toner, so toner isn’t the issue.

    • I LOVE my Clarisonic Mia, but I use it with Proactiv products. My skin needs a true anti-acne product to stay clear, and I feel that the cleaners that “go” with the Clarisonic system are not as good as the old stand-bys. If you have a product that kept your skin clear before, I would recommend using that with the Mia.

      • It’s also important to remember that everyone is different. A friend of mine used Proactiv with good results. A well known dermatologist we both had seen gave her kid Proactiv. It did nothing for me.

    • Note that some breakout-pone skin is not helped by the clarasonic or exfoliation in general, and sephora reps are not dermatologists. I recommend actually seeing a dermatologist.

      • SF Bay Associate :

        So very true. Sephora reps, like every other rep at any other store, are trying to sell you something and are probably even paid on commission. Even assuming that they 100% believe what they are telling you, that doesn’t mean that they are actually correct. Consulting a dermatologist is a much better idea.

        • I would add to this that the ladies at Sephora can, in my experience anyway, be incredibly ill informed. I rarely find them helpful, much as I’ve tried. I have gotten some really good advice from *some* department store sales people (mostly at Saks, mostly at the Chanel counter), but I don’t trust the people in Sephora to give me advice or do my makeup — I come out looking worse, more often than not, on both.

          I am (obviously) not a dermatologist either, but it sounds to me like you are aggravating your skin. I would try getting something super gentle — the clarisonic is already doing its thing to exfoliate, you don’t need to irritate your skin more with anti-acne products. Your skin is probably oily to compensate. (FWIW, my dermatoligist seconds this advice — she says that the best thing for acne prone skin, most often, is just super simple, non-irritating “sensitive” skin products). Personally, I like Aveeno foaming sensitive skin face wash (not sure what it’s actually called).

          • Second! My dermatologist started treating me when my skin just all of a sudden became positively ulcerated with breakouts when I turned 23. NOT FAIR!! She immediately put me on Cetaphil cleanser — it’s about the mildest thing you can use. It made a huge difference. (Granted, it was in conjunction with a huge round of antibiotics that also worked wonders.)

            Good luck!

    • Divaliscious11 :

      Overkill. Use one or the other, but not both. Or alternate. You are probably irritating your skin.

    • If you’re spending that kind of money on OTC products, go to a dermatologist. Not just any doctor, for example, the kind that thinks you’re lucky not to have leprosy and talks about all the terrible things s/he’s seen in Third World countries or in the public hospital emergency room, go to a cosmetically-oriented dermatologist. The superficial kind who know their stuff. When you enter the waiting room, you should be the only one with an obvious skincare problem.

      Go for basic skincare. Don’t let them drive you crazy with treatments you don’t need. If you think Sephora reps are bad ….

      • lol @”the superficial kind” but I know what you mean….

        • Yeah, unfortunately, many good, sensible dermatologists don’t take people with acne and other related problems seriously. Skin problems are not just a “cosmetic” issue.

          As I said, take their advice, but don’t let them sell you procedures you don’t need or use their proprietary products if they’re outrageously priced.

    • Just adding to the chorus: don’t follow the advice of Sephora reps, go to a proper dermatologist, and stick with basic products – like Cetaphil – until you get a handle on your skin and your limits. Start with one product at a time and give it a couple of weeks to take effect. Another thing to consider is the kind of makeup or sunscreen you are using – it might be having unintended side effects.

      In general, save your money for good advice and good products, not for good marketing. Good luck!

    • Makeup Junkie :

      creamy cleansers are usually for really dry skin; if your skin is combination you’re probably over-moisturizing it. My dermatologists have always recommended Cetaphil or Dove for my combination skin

      • I have combination, acne prone and Aveda’s Outer Peace combined with the clarisonic (I only use the clarisonic in the AM) and the right amount of moisurizer (because if your skin is too dry it will get oily to compensate) is working well. The Outer Peace cleanser is gentle and soothing — and the calming mask helps redness and irritation quite a bit. I still break out, but it’s better and less oily. Aveda pros do try to sell you products, but I have found them to be very helpful so far. And it’s not a hard sell, at least not what I’ve seen.

    • Haven’t used that cleanser, but I agree w/ everyone that mild is best (Unfortunately, I am completely blanking on the name of mine. It’s a drug store brand that my dermatologist recommended). also, someone asked a question about acne a few weeks ago and someone recommended taking zinc. I started taking it then and have actually noticed a lot of improvement in my skin (so thanks, whoever that was!)

      Go see a dermatologist, though in fairness, I’ve been seeing different dermatologists for like a decade and the only time my skin has ever been completely clear was when I was in a foreign country for a month, probably because I was drinking a ton of water and not eating crappy processed american foods.

      • karenpadi :

        I’ll second my skin being clearest when not eating crappy processed american foods.

        My face is actually clearer when I don’t wash it at all. I break out using cetaphil (and aveeno and dove and oil of olay, …)! When I do need to wash my face (like when I wear make-up and can’t shower before bed), I use a non-foaming cleanser from Aveda and follow it up with moisturizer. For some reason, the non-foaming stuff doesn’t irritate my skin.

    • I started using the Clarisonic this winter and my skin went from clear to constantly broken out with cystic acne that left bad scars behind. I know the clarisonic works amazingly for a lot of people, but if you read reviews on Amazon or elsewhere, for a small number of people it can make things worse. I’m apparently one of those people and it sounds there’s a chance you could be too–I echo the comments to get a derm’s opinion on what’s best for your skin.

    • This may sound like common sense but make sure that you routinely wash your makeup brushes, change your pillow covers, wash your blankets (especially if you bring them up to your face), change the brushhead on the mia and clean the surfaces of your cellphone or any other phone that touches your face. It took me a stupidly long amount of time to realize that I was breaking out only on the right side of my face because of my cellphone, which is touchscreen (duh). I have oily skin as well and I’ve noticed that the oil production stopped significantly once I started to moisturize regularly.

    • I’m coming to this really late, but I’ve had really good luck with the Paula’s Choice lines, both the one for acne and the skin balancing line for combination skin. It’s a good idea to see a dermotologist, but I also highly recommend Paula’s Choice.

    • It IS a gorgeous print. Ellen Tracy came out with a dress with similar colors a couple of months ago, but it’s still available on Blufly for a discounted $84. I’d love to know if you like it!

      http://www.bluefly.com/Ellen-Tracy-royal-blue-abstract-printed-jersey-belted-dress/SEARCH/313541801/detail.fly

  2. EMERGENCY THREADJACK….(unfortunately not messing w you!)

    Queasy stomach all morning, but did not feel sick sick. I took some pepto and drank water. Suddenly had urge to…GO, and could not make it to the bathroom.
    I am in my office wondering what the hell I should do! Wtf…crappy situation…literally. this has never happened to me before! Big clients are in for deps. And a brief due tomorrow.
    Help!

    • You go buy new pants/skirt and, if need be, haul ass home and put on a new suit. Say you had an emergency at home! (Is this a joke?)

      • Anonymous :

        Find a washroom on another floor, scrub out the mess in the sink, dry up using the hand drier.

      • Associette :

        Second. Wait for a quiet moment and scurry off to the nearest store. Say you have an emergency at home if anyone tries to talk to you. Use a briefcase/gym bag/purse to cover your behind. Good luck!

    • Anonymous :

      Are you in a big enough city that you can call a store, order some fresh clothes, and have someone courier it to your office and then change?

      If not, how… bad is the situation? Just your underwear or did anything get on your other garments? If it’s just your underwear, shut your office door, take everything up, put your underwear inside some plastic bags and bury it in your garbage until it’s possible to sneak out to throw them away. Clean yourself off with anything you can and then line yourself with some tissues and papertowels.

      I’m so sorry btw! What a horrible way to start the week…

      • It is a small city. Wondering how to get out of my office and to bathroom without encountering anyone! Big converation going on ouside my freaking (closed, thankfully) office door. Work next to partner handling deps.

        This is my nightmare. My grandmotherly, but gossipy assistant is trying to create a diversion to herd them away from my door.

        O.m.f.g.

        • Diana Barry :

          I hope you can get out of there soon!!!

        • I am so sorry.

          If your assistant is already helping you, can you ask her to either go down to the nearest store and get you some new clothes, or to go to your house and pick up something? If she doesn’t know the details, perhaps you can blame it on your period — which while also not a pleasant scenario, strikes me as less embarassing.

          Assuming that’s not an option, do you have anything to change into, or something to cover up with to make an exit? Even a large shawl, strategically draped, may give you cover to make an exit to get some new clothes or to clean up?

          As for what to say, just say you have an emergency at home (flood? iron plugged in?) and that you will be back shortly.

          Good luck.

          • Oh, this is good advice. Just pretend, for the moment, that it is period-related, and assume that even the most careful adult professional woman sometimes has an unexpected period-related event. So no shame – you just need to clean up and find a change of clothes.

            Even if you have to borrow a jacket/shawl/wrap until you can get to the car, once you get there it should be easier.

        • and so anon :

          Best of luck. Hope it works out. Make sure to do something extra nice for your grandmotherly, but gossipy assistant. Tell her how much you appreciated her help and confirm with her that she understands that this information has to be kept private. Loyalty to you should win out over her desire to share (which, if she’s a gossip, might not even be ill-intentioned. Some people have a compulsion to talk, especially if they were helpful in some capacity.)

          Friendly bribe. :-)

        • another anon :

          Are you wearing a suit? Can you tie the suit around your waist? Will look a little odd, but maybe a solution.

      • Can you also have your assistant bring you a large cup of coffee for you to spill all over yourself? That will definitely cut down on the gossip as to why you had to leave to change!

    • Yikes, hope you feel better!

      • reply to P :

        P, hope you get this taken care of without issues. And then go get tested for celiac. This happened to me twice in the year before I was diagnosed. I tried to ignore it after the first time but after the second I had to find out why it was happening and celiac was the reason. Good luck.

    • Oh goodness.

      Things were taken care of. Came back to find assistant spraying Lysol and indignantly complaining about the lousy cleaning staff not emptying the trash over the weekend when she had thrown food away, and the “gassy” court reporter who “just stands there and passes gas forever without even flinching.”

      She is a questionable word procssor, but an evil genius.

    • I have Crohns and you are living my (and many others) nightmare. I now keep baby wipes and spare underwear on me at all times. I also have fancy scarf in my office as an extra just in case. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that.

      My guy friend was farting in his office once and had an oops. He to call his girlfriend to bring him a change of pants. It happens to the best of us.

      As others have said, if you keep having GI trouble, see a doc. Once you get your work fires put out, take a mental health day and do something nice for yourself.

      HUGS!!

      • reply to P :

        Poopy, I guess we’re in good company. Even though I’m diagnosed I still keep baby wipes on me at all times and clean underwear at the office.

        • Oh, how awful. When my father died, I was so upset that it happened to me while at dinner with about 10 relatives I hadn’t seen in twenty years. Thankfully, I was wearing spanx but it was truly horrible. In addition to baby wipes, stock up on Immodium!

  3. Threadjack (high school never goes away!):
    I heard a rumor that a close acquaintance cheated on her husband and is now divorced. It didn’t sound plausible since I’d seen her recently, but I asked two other mutual friends, both of whom said they’d heard the same thing.
    One of the two took the Close Acquaintance for lunch, and it seems this rumor is not true at all.
    Should I tell Close Acquaintance that this rumor is out there? It’s a pretty bad one.

    • I would ask yourself whether you would want to hear from her if the situation was reversed. (I think I would!)

      • and so anon :

        I would want to know too. It would freak me out and I’d need excellent counsel in figuring out how to defuse it. I guess a statement on Facebook or an email blast to my 1,000 closest personal friends wouldn’t be quite the thing.

        And of course I’d wonder why someone would say something like that about me. Thank you — today it’s someone else’s turn to feel paranoid.

        • Thanks, ladies, I’ll tell her. I asked the Original Source of the rumor who told him/her about the divorce, and it appears to be someone Close Acquaintance works with (a.k.a. a “Mean Girl”).
          Ug, now I’m spreading rumors.

          • I’d give Close Acquaintance a call and let her know that Mean Girl appears to have started an unsavory rumor about her. You’re not spreading unless you gossip about this merrily with your girlfriends.

        • Something very similar happened to an (not close) acquaintance of mine once. Turned out it was the husband having the affair, and the mistress was the one who started the rumor (we think). Because someone thought enough of acquaintance to let her know about the rumor, she was able to figure out the situation. She and her husband are still together and in counseling.

  4. I looooove this dress. The print is gorgeous and that cut I think is almost universally flattering. A girl can dream…

    Threadjack: I have, in the past year, lost a ton of weight. I’m down 5 sizes. I’m training to run a half marathon. I look and feel better than I ever have in my life, and I am so excited these past few weeks because I am now officially a size 12 (the smallest I’ve been in my adult life).

    This weekend, I was volunteering at a park clean up event and there was a woman handing out shirts. She was going down the line of us and when she got to me, said “Are you pregnant?” I was so shocked (amazingly, I never got this question even when I was bigger) I just kind of stared at her. She asked again, even louder this time. I finally managed to say “No” and she handed me my shirt and moved on.

    I was sitting down at the time, so maybe my stomach was sticking out… but agghhhhh why would she do this? The weirdest thing was that I wasn’t even the biggest woman there. There was a woman a few people down who was probably a size 18/20 and the woman handing out shirts just stuck her with one and moved on. I started trying to make myself feel better by thinking that maybe she asked me because I’m now (relatively) small all over except for my stomach…

    Who says this? Especially another woman!!! The only time you should ever ask any woman this is if there is physically a baby coming out of her at that particular moment….

    Any Corporettes ever have this happen to them? Someone out there make me feel better…

    • Yes — a couple of times. It’s awful, but don’t worry about it. Some people just do not have a filter on their thoughts and it may have nothing to do with what you were wearing/how you looked. And I know people who are way skinnier than me who have heard this same question without being “with child”. You should feel great about your accomplishments and just chalk it up to someone just being stupid.

    • another anon :

      If you can muster it next time, how about saying, in a sweet voice, “Nope, just fat, but thanks for pointing that out!” I am not suggesting in any way that you actually ARE fat, but if you were able to say something like that it would put her in her place and hopefully make her realize that this is a question that should simply not be asked.

    • Makeup Junkie :

      how…unpleasant. Congratulations on the weight loss and let us know how the half-marathon goes!

    • So sorry!! I’ve had this asked quite a few times to me and am always shocked why people ask this. I got married and put on a few pounds to a size 8/10 and still got asked because I tend to gain weight in my stomach…Just try to brush it off and know you are beautiful! :)

      You should be very proud of your achomplishment! Good luck with the half marathon!

      • I had someone (a man, obviously) ask me this because I was leaving work at 10 p.m. and said I was tired. I said no, and then he asked, “Well, are you really pregnant and just not telling people yet?” I was infuriated. First of all, if that is true, no way am I telling you – guy at work who I barely know. Second, give it up. Take a hint. Don’t ask again after someone says no. And besides, just because a woman is tired, she must be pregnant???? Are you freaking kidding me???

        By the way, I am a tall size 6 with a pretty flat stomach and was wearing a wide belt that I can assure you I wouldn’t have been wearing if I had in fact been pregnant. I think people can just be really stupid and it doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with how big or small you are.

        • Sydney Bristow :

          That is the worst! I’ve been asked once (back when I was a size 4) by a random stranger in a store. My sister was recently asked multiple times by many of her coworkers in front of other coworkers because she has gained weight recently. She told each of them no and a few of them followed up with inane questions like asking if she just wasn’t telling anyone yet and one coworker actually asked her if she had taken a pregnancy test and maybe just didn’t realize she really was pregnant.

          I never ask or comment unless someone has already made an announcement.

    • How rude of her! If it makes you feel any better, a cashier asked me the same thing when I was 16, a size 8, and had quite a flat stomach. Apparently she thought I was because one of my hands looked like it was resting on my stomach in the “pregnant” gesture. It’s probably something similarly ridiculous in your case.

      • I was also asked by a cashier once! What is wrong with people?? Anyway, I have been asked on a number of occasions starting with when I was around 22 and most recently just the other day, 10 years later. I do think how you’re standing or what you’re wearing can lead to the question and I’ve also totally tried to make myself feel better by telling myself people wouldn’t ask if they thought I was just generally big, so at least everything other than my stomach is in decent shape … right? Maybe? Well, whatever, the point is, apparently this happens to lots of us for all kinds of crazy reasons.

        Congratulations on the weight loss!! Very impressive.

    • PetiteAnon :

      Srsly, don’t worry about this. I’m a size 4 and I get this question when I wear certain clothes.

    • Another anon :

      I just want to say that you absolutely ROCK. Five sizes lost and training for a half-marathon? Absolutely amazing! I am really and truly impressed.

      • Agreed. This is amazing! And YOU are amazing for doing this! Good for you, and your new and improved health and lifestyle!

      • So agree, forget that random lady. You have bigger and badder things to deal with!

    • What a completely clueless, stupid thing to say. I would chalk it up to her lack of sensitivity and poor social skills. I never mention anything that looks like a baby bump until I’m REALLY sure that’s what it is – I would be mortified if I made a mistake and hurt somebody’s feelings. And congratulations on your stunning weight loss! I’m on the verge of jumping back into Weight Watchers or something, because I really need to lose. It’s encouraging to hear a story like yours! Keep feeling great, and just try to forget people who say ridiculous things – they don’t matter.

    • Awful Lawful :

      My friend “tagged” me in a Facebook photo from her baby shower. In the picture, I am standing next to my 8 month pregnant friend. Another friend posted on my wall after seeing the picture congratulating me on my pregnancy. Not pregnant. At all.

      I laughed it off, but it definitely hurt a little. I feel your pain.

  5. and so anon :

    How can a $1,750 dress not be lined? The print’s not my taste, but it’s certainly wearable in an office.

    • Too bad about the lining. That said, the fabric quality, print and fit are fabulous! I wouldn’t mind using this dress to inspire a purchase of a more affordable frock with a like color, print and/or fit.

    • If the material is substantial enough, I don’t think all dresses need lining. With a dress like this, extra lining may feel bulky.

  6. Hi-Ho Silver! :

    Just want to belatedly thank everyone for their advice on silver necklaces last week – lots of good ideas and now I have some inspiration for what to look for!

  7. Threadjack: Long time reader, first time poster. I hope it is ok that my first post is asking for help!

    I am looking for counselor recs in DC. My boyfriend is profoundly unhappy and has finally agreed that he will give counseling a shot. His work situation is not good (senior associate at a poorly managed firm we both expect to implode at any moment) and his credentials aren’t strong enough to get him into government where he’d like to be. So that’s a big part of it, but he is also naturally a bit melancholy and his primary emotion (about *everything*) is regret with lots of “what if.” I don’t know if cognitive-behavioral therapy can deal with this sort of dwelling in the past or more comprehensive analysis is better.

    At any rate, I told him I’d research therapists and it is hard. Not surprisingly, people don’t rate them on Yelp! I have looked up the few therapists in his insurance plan (United, if that helps) and not sure any will be a great fit for him. It seems that therapy is rather a pink collar ghetto, and many specialize in women’s issues. (When I was in therapy, obviously this wasn’t a problem for me as an empathetic woman was exactly what I wanted, so I didn’t notice the issue before.)

    Is anyone willing to share experiences with local counselors? Easily accessible from Georgetown a bonus.

    Thank you!

    • I’ve only had one encounter with a therapist in my life, so won’t be able to provide a recommendation. However, I take issue with the premise that strong credentials are a must to be hired by the government. It’s who you know, plain and simple. I have never heard of anyone getting a federal job without a personal connection. Lawyers are no exception.
      I don’t want to digress into discussion of government hiring practices, but maybe you and boyfriend should step up your networking efforts.

      • Oh, you are absolutely right! But believe me, we have networked the hell out of it. I work for government in an agency that he would like to come to. A division with which I have ties was hiring several people. Working all my connections–strong personal connections!–I was still not able to get him even an interview. I have also networked with all my friends in other agencies, and no go. Right now it seems until every graduate of every Top 25 law school gets a job, a third tier grad has pretty much no chance. :/ I mean, of course we are persevering but it is not looking promising.

        • As a recent grad of a top 25 law school, let me just say it’s not going so great for us, either. :)

          I’m sorry your boyfriend is having such a hard time.

    • Not a Washingtonian :

      See my response below. I thought I was directly replying to you.

    • Have you looked at the Washingtonian magazine/website? They put out annual lists of recommended practitioners for many medical specialties. I am always a little wary since they also accept ads from many of those entities, but it would be a place to start.

      Re: govt jobs — it’s both. Some positions are credential-necessary and networks do not help you. Other positions are network-necessary and credentials will neither be helpful or hurtful. I have worked for fed govt and have numerous friends in both types of positions. Having said that, I always encourage people to up their networking efforts because while a position may be credential-necessary, you may be less likely to hear about it without exposure to good networks.

    • karenpadi :

      My EAP program had a website where the therapists could write a short blurb about their practices and post a picture. Reading through them, I found one the “clicked” with me. Maybe your EAP (or his) has a similar site?

    • Thank you so much to everyone for your input and support! He is going through a hard time and I am cautiously optimistic that he is ready to see someone. I want to do what I can to make sure it goes well from the start, and this is all useful information.

    • Seattleite :

      Advice columnist Carolyn Hax regularly recommends The Women’s Center www[dot]thewomenscenter[dot]org. Apparently, in spite of the name, they don’t just serve women. If they can’t help him directly, perhaps they can provide a referral. And CBT sounds just right for the sort of perseverating thoughts your BF is having.

    • Totally anon for this :

      Wanda Wheeler, whose office is in Van Ness. You’ll find her contact info by googling her and finding her Psychology Today listing. I think my situation was quite similar to what you describe with your BF and she was great for me. She does some cognitive behavioral techniques but it’s mostly talk therapy.

      Another friend of mine went to the Capital Institute for Cognitive Therapy in the Dupont Circle area. I don’t know which therapist she saw, but she was really happy with them.

      • Thank you, Totally Anon. The specific suggestions are really helpful. It is hard getting personal recommendations!

  8. anon in dc :

    Another DC threadjack!

    I live in northern VA (Alexandria) and am looking for a good tailor. Any DC Corporettes have good tailors that you swear by? Affordable would also be great!

    TIA!

    • Not super close, but I love the Ballston Custom Tailors (in Ballston Mall, but still really good). Not the cheapest, but won’t break the bank either.

    • Suh’s Custom tailors on West Street by King. He is meticulous. Recently used him to replace a zipper in a lined dress with many pieces, and it looks flawless. He is not the cheapest, but not outrageously expensive.

    • R in Boston :

      Not close by, but the lady at Congressional Cleaners on Independence over by Eastern Market is a magician. Prices are incredibly reasonable, turnaround time is good, and the family that runs the business is very sweet. The (adult) kids will generally do the pinning when you try things on because their mom (who does the alterations) is often not in the store, but they are great and 100% to be trusted.

      • R in Boston :

        Despite the moniker, I lived in DC and still occasionally bring clothes to CC for alterations if I’m going to be there for more than a few days. Love love love them.

    • Mrs. Joon at Dupont Court Cleaners at 18th and S NW, in the lower level under Rosemary’s Thyme restaurant. She’s fabulous – she’s tailored everything from formal gowns to plain old pencil skirts for me.

  9. absolutely love the dress, but only enter that price range for classics…I’m not sure I’d love this as much in 3-5 years, or at the age I’ll be in 10 years. It’s a beauty, though.

  10. Not a Washingtonian :

    For whatever it’s worth, I think Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is a crock. It’s OK if you have relatively small problems that are the result of a lack of perspective and also are not subject at the time to major stresses. Health insurance companies like it because it’s limited and relatively cheap.

    Your boyfriend sounds like he might need more help than that. He might want to see a psychiatrist. Seeing a psychiatrist does not mean he’s crazy. A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who is trained to evaluate mental and physical health. Some mood disorders have at least a partial physiological basis. If indicated, a psychiatrist can prescribe medication.

    I have a friend who’s a therapist (Ph.D. in clinical psychology) who lives in another part of the country. I can ask her if she has any recommendations for your area if you’re interested.

    • Not a Washingtonian :

      That was supposed to be a reply to “In DC.”

    • Not a Washingtonian :

      Right off the bat, unless you’ve received stellar, first-hand, recommendations, I would avoid:

      –People with two-year counseling degrees (in some states a person with a Masters of Social Work can be a therapist);

      –People with with less than three years’ experience;

      –People who don’t spend much of the first session taking a detailed medical history.

    • I have to say, I disagree. I have been in cognitive therapy for the past two years and it’s really changed my outlook on life. I now recognize that I have issues with depression and am taking anti-depressants, which have really helped. But the therapy alone has helped, too. It’s made me recognize negative patterns in my thinking and finally feel like I have some control over my happiness.

      • karenpadi :

        I’ll second this. CBT really helped me at a time when I needed help. It was hard work and I really had to invest time and energy into recognizing negative patterns.

        My therapist had a two-year counseling certificate and I never felt like she wasn’t “good enough”. Contrary to the stereotype, she was open to using medications (as are most CBT practitioners). I think she was effective for me because we share a similar sense of humor. I’d rather have someone who I can connect to than a PhD who knows my complete medical history.

        CBT should start “working” after the first session or two. If it doesn’t, then I’d take “Not A Washingtonian”‘s advice.

      • Not a Washingtonian :

        Your mileage varied.

        CBT’s premise is that people’s reasoning is flawed, causing them unhappiness because they overreact. But sometimes people are actually quite accurate about their situation. (A paradox that CBT doesn’t reconcile is that studies have shown that depressed people are often more accurate in their assessments than are “normal” people).

        If you’re actually fairly objective about your situation, and are in a situation of great emotional, social or financial stress, it’s hard to out-think your thoughts, which is what CBT without drug therapy teaches you to do.

        I guess an additional recommendation would be to make sure the therapist actually understands your field.

        • I am a believer in CBT for certain things, like obsessive thoughts or phobias. It is perfect for that, and has helped my anxiety-prone son quite a bit.

          It may not be the thing for someone with long-standing mommy issues or the like (which I’m saving up for on behalf of my son :)

          • Not a Washingtonian :

            Actually, I think that CBT is not at all suited for people who have certain types of OCD. I’m talking about people who can’t get certain thoughts out of their head no matter how hard they try. The thoughts fly fast and furious.

            As for phobias, I don’t know. I assume that aversion therapy is a type of CBT.

            It’s clear that none of us are doctors or clinical psychologists. I felt compelled to speak out against CBT because I think it benefits from undeserved hype.

    • Try looking up someone locally via listings/membership in the National Register for Health Service Providers in Psychology. All of us have credentials verified. Then you could do other customer searches. Any of us would also be more than open to you having a medication consultation as well. There are several different orientations out there and it has to be a good match with you for it to work. As you are in the DC area, you can look at the American Psychological Association’s website too; many of the practitioners in that region are also listed through the APA.

      Wishing you both all the best.

    • Thanks for the perspective on CBT! I did traditional analysis and it was really helpful for me, as I had amorphous unhappiness/depression and classic childhood issues, not any kind of issue that could be succinctly described. I suspect the traditional will be better for him, but unfortunately insurance is a consideration. *sigh* He is open to a psychiatrist if it comes to that, but would prefer to start with therapy.

      • lawtalkinggirl :

        Look for a provider who is a PhD psychologist and a nurse practitioner. S/he can provide counseling AND prescribe medication later if necessary. Also might be cheaper than seeing an MD psychiatrist or seeing a counselor and an MD.

      • I found the website I mentioned earlier…

        nationalregister.org

        You should be able to search for men’s issues and/or male therapist on their site as well as the APAs site.

        Yes, check for your insurance’s providers. Please know that many of us are no longer on panels due to the amount of time it takes to process claims, the limited reimbursement/lowered fee we must accept, and the issues of non-PhDs telling us how to run our businesses and provide psychotherapy.

        If it helps, only Licensed Psychologists can off “psychotherapy.” If someone is offering “counseling” or “therapy” they are likely masters-level professionals.

        Local licensing/accreditation boards also give you information and referrals, but that’s usually my last recommendation as it’s so generic.

        All the best –

      • Not a Washingtonian :

        A psychiatrist does provide therapy, but I know what you meant and understand the problem with insurance. But make no mistake, good psychiatrists are not the stereotypical pill pushers of the popular mind. No reputable doctor thinks that simply popping a pill is going to make a patient feel better.

        • I totally agree that the modern psychiatrists do listen and some do therapy, esp. the psychodynamic or gestalt minded. In general, though, there are more out there managing the medical/chemical/neurological aspects than those relating to coping skills, defense mechanisms, relationships, etc.

          YMMV …

          You might ask what they often recommend for “homework” if they say they are “ecclectic.” You might also ask if they use specific programs for depression/anxiety or if they use evidence-based treatments which are also researched and structured approaches.

          It is all about what is comfortable for the person seeking the services.

          Multi-factored long term research tends to show that there is no difference in the efficacy of various approaches. That’s a curious finding. However, approach efficacy often is tied to the therapist’s skills, engagement of both people, and so many other factors that YMMV is really the cautionary note.

          I’ve fired myself many a time when there’s not a “fit” or I find myself giving the same rx and suggestions…those of us on the professional side need to be willing to do that.

          Perhaps an inventory of one’s coping and stress management skills may help too. Many times, meditation, relaxation techniques, yoga/exercise can be great adjuncts!!!!

  11. I really like this dress, but I have found that necklines this high are not flattering on my busty shape. It makes the girls look droopy.

    I have to go to the dentist for a filling in an hour and I am SO NOT looking forward to it. Trying to figure out what reward I’ll give myself afterward–obviously not food, but shoes, jewelry, makeup…. Any suggestions? I have to have something to look forward to while the hideous noises are happening or else I won’t get through it. Ugh.

    • Diana Barry :

      Shoes! Far away from your face so if your face is puffy etc., you won’t even notice! :)

      • Diana, I just want to give thumbs up to your name. “Anne Shirley” posts on this site as well, and I know you are “kindred spirits”–as am I.

        • Diana Barry :

          Thanks! :) Maybe when I get a lot older my name will be “Marilla Cuthbert”.

      • I’m rereading the series now. Great books.

    • somewhere(less)cold :

      You definitely deserve a nice reward after that. I would probably opt for a walk around Loehmann’s or something similar just to browse and maybe pick up a few unexpected items. That’s my version of retail therapy.

      Are you bringing music and headphones? I hate the sound of metal scraping against my teeth, and the last time I was at the dentist, the hygienist suggested I bring my ipod to my next cleaning. Not sure why that never occurred to me, and I can’t say I look forward to trying out her suggestion, but I will next time I have to go.

      • Definitely bring headphones! One of my family members works in a dental office and they said the dentist strongly prefers that you have music because by blocking out the noise you’re much less likely to get squeamish and flinch while s/he has a sharp instrument in your mouth or, worst case, pass out.

    • RW, I agree about the dress – love it! But I’m glad that the neckline makes it a no-go for me, so therefore I don’t feel bad that it’s not in the budget.

      And I’m so with you on the dentist. I always have to bribe before/reward myself after in order to get in that chair. I either use their headphones or bring my own, too.

  12. Today is a remarkably neutral day.

    The Bad: I lost my wallet yesterday, though I don’t know how. (There’s been no activity in my bank account, so despite the fact that I have no idea *how* I could have simply lost it, I also can’t imagine that anyone would have stolen it and not used the plastic by now.) I’ve already canceled my credit cards and put a hold on my university ID and my debit cards, but now I’m just hoping that some good samaritan will return it to me and thus spare me the hassle of replacing everything in it.

    The Good (and forgive me if this is highly inappropriate): Went to the new fellow’s house last night to meet his sometime puppy. He drove me home at 7:00 this morning. Not what I expected, not what I had planned, and yet was a really lovely evening. Now I have the urge to be kind of sappy and share my good fortune–he’s a very sweet guy and we’ve been on this trajectory for a while–so thanks for indulging me, ‘rettes.

  13. Ever have a day where you convince yourself everyone at work hates you and thinks you’re incompetent?

    • Often! It is usually bc I haven’t caught up with my boss for a friendly chat for a while and think he is mad at me for some reason. Then the next time I speak with him, all is normal.

    • Ugh, about every other day. You’re not alone!

    • So frequently! I am actually thinking about maybe talking to someone about it.

    • And here I thought I was the only one. This sort of ties in with the cognitive behavioral therapy upthread – I tried it briefly and found it moderately helpful for at least stopping and assessing my thoughts: Do I actually have any evidence that people hate me, or am I assuming based on my own feelings of inadequacy/crankiness/whatever.

      It’s cheesy, but I saw this acronym/slogan somewhere and it resonated with me: FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real.

    • Anonymous :

      Yep. I’m afraid one day they’ll figure it out.

    • AnonJobHater :

      Yes – but that is because my boss really does hate me and thinks I am incompetent and everyone is is avoiding me for fear of being tarred by association. (And the evidence of 15 years in my profession and glowing letters of recommendation from my three prior employers would tend to indicate I am not actually an idiot.) I am just holding out until I can find another job or I completely lose it and say something unfortunate (but true) about her resemblance to a rabid female canine.

  14. I love this dress so much it hurts! Great Pucci pattern in just the right shades of blue that go well with my skin tone. Too bad about the price…Anyone feel like donating to a worthy cause? :)

  15. Yes. They don’t, though.
    Sounds like you’re having a rough day, hang in there.

    • was supposed to reply to Em. above.

      Also, fwiw, sometimes I have days where I am sure that everyone is staring at me and hating my outfit/my hair/my sausage arms. It’s usually a manifestation of my own insecurities. Of course, in my rational moments I realize other people have their own stuff going on and are rarely if ever actually thinking about me.

  16. Longtime lurker but new-ish poster here. I’m sure that this has been covered before, but does anyone know of any good resources with sample legal resumés?
    I’m a 2011 grad and was asked to send an updated resume to my firm. I have a number of updates that I’m having trouble formatting. Unfortunately, my CSO has not provided any samples of graduate resumes and the samples for 2Ls/3Ls do not include the things I need to add or show what graduates might want to remove, and I didn’t find anything I was satisfied with on Google, either. Any ideas?

  17. Television shrinks are, in general, a crock of @$&#, but one of them once said “You wouldnt worry about what people thought of you if you knew how seldom they did.” Kinda puts thing in perspective for me.

    You are not incompetent and no one hates you. Be kind to yourself.

  18. Threadjack – Does anyone know if there are particular sites for jobs which you can telecommute/work flexible hours/compressed schedules? Any search tips are greatly appreciated. TIA

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