Suit of the Week: Alexander McQueen

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

I love the peplum on this, and I love the sort of textured, nubby tweed. I think the pencil skirt looks like a classic and would be great to wear by itself, and the blazer would also look amazing on its own. It’s interesting to see the styling, with the really puffy sleeve beneath the tweed blazer. I haven’t seen that too many places, and I think if you’ve got a bell sleeve, it might be a fun look to try, especially with a pop of color there, or if you’ve got something with a lace detail. The jacket (Alexander McQueen Cotton and Wool-Blend Tweed Peplum Jacket) is $1895, and the skirt (Alexander McQueen Cotton and Wool-Blend Tweed Pencil Skirt) is $675.

So, skirt suits with lower prices and/or extended sizes aren’t too plentiful right now, probably because of the season, so I’m not finding too many other options aside from a couple of frumpy choices or “festive” styles left over from the holidays…

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(L-all)

Comments

  1. Anonymous :

    Looking for ideas for either a side or appetizer for a pork tenderloin. This is for 8. I’m an OK cook but I don’t typically eat pork and don’t cook very often so appreciate things that are easy and make ahead.

    • I love roasted brussels sprouts with pork. Other roasted vegetables like carrots, sweet potatoes, parsnips, etc are also very good with pork. All the trimming and chopping can be done ahead, and then all you have to do is toss with olive oil, salt, and pepper and slide the veggies into the oven, maybe stir them once while they cook. I always google time/temp for what I’m roasting.

      • Anonymous :

        Oooh, I like this idea. Can I make roasted sprouts a few hours ahead? Do you have a go-to recipe that makes them restaurant-style delicious (I’ve tried to make them before at home and they are not as good as at a restaurant). Or maybe I just buy them prepared – how big of a faux pas is that for a dinner party one is attending?

        • https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/balsamic-roasted-brussels-sprouts

          This is my favorite brussel sprouts recipe. The balsamic makes it awesome. Sometimes I cheat and don’t include the pancetta.

        • Anonymous :

          No, making it ahead of time or buying premade would be kind of gross and soggy. You can prepare it ahead of time and just dump it on a cookie sheet and pop it into the oven at the right time, though. If your brussels sprouts weren’t as good, they maybe weren’t cooked at a high enough temp, weren’t cooked long enough, weren’t cut small enough, or needed more salt.

        • Eh, I wouldn’t cook roasted brussels sprouts ahead of time or try to transport them already cooked. They would end up soggy. That said, my favorite brussels sprouts recipe is Mark Bittman’s brussels sprouts and garlic–you start them in a pan and finish them in the oven, and pour a little balsamic vinegar on them when they’re done cooking.

          You could try a salad with shaved brussels sprouts, apple, and roasted pistachios. That would hold up well if you make it ahead of time and transport them.

    • Anonymous :

      Something like a chunky homeade applesauce? Or an apple chutney?

      • Anonymous :

        +1 I always thought pork paired really well with apple dishes.

      • Anonymous :

        I like pork with rhubarb or homemade applesauce.

      • Anonymous :

        Ok, scratch the Brussels sprouts then – I need it to be make-ahead by a few hours and reheatable.

        Along the apple lines, does anyone have a great baked apple recipe that might work?

        • Anonymous :

          You can do all the prep for Brussels sprouts in the night before and then just pop them in the oven right before people came over. Not really any harder than sticking something in the microwave…unless you don’t have enough space in your oven, I guess.

          • Anonymous :

            The dinner is not at my house – at someone else’s, and I have another event to go to first.

          • A slaw made with shredded Brussels sprouts and green apple would be soooooo good with pork tenderloin and will hold up well without needing to be heated at all!

    • Anonymous :

      Roasted sweet potato wedges.

    • Anonymous :

      Barefoot Contessa Make It Ahead cookbook has a great recipe for a winter slaw that might be a good side. I have made it a few times to great acclaim.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      Spaghetti squash gratin – can me made ahead, easy to transport and then pop back into oven to reheat. So delish and lighter than potatoes.

    • Anonymous :

      I made scalloped potatoes with roast pork tenderloin last weekend and it was a big hit. I used Mark Bittman’s recipe from the NY Times. It was delicious.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Alexander’s Steak House has fabulous potatoes au gratin that would be awesome with pork. You can google around and find a copycat recipe. Only thing is you really need a mandolin to get the potatoes nice and thin.

    • Pork doesn’t take that long so you can toss brussels, baby potatoes (I par boil mine for about 5 minutes), and squash right in the pan with the pork (put the pork on a rack in a big roasting pan, veggies on the bottom). Rub the pork with a mixture of dijon, soy, olive oil, onion and garlic powder and salt and pepper. Teensy bit of salt and olive oil on the veg (or spray the bottom of the pan so they don’t stick). I follow the time recommendations in Betty Crocker. Voila!

    • I just made a spinach farro to go with pork – it was really good; get pearled farro (20 min cook time), add 1.5 cups farro, 4 cups broth/stock, 1 chopped onion, 1 chopped shallot & bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer uncovered for 30 mins/ish. Once it’s cooked/liquid aborbed, add 1/4 cup of cream & 1/2 cup grated parm & a box or bag of baby spinach.

  2. OMG love it! :

    Wow — I love this!

    Now could they just style it with real shoes?

    • Anonymous :

      Ha — that blouse on the McQueen website is totally off the shoulder. Definitely an interesting pairing with a suit! Reminds me of the Jeff Foxworthy you-must-be-a-redneck: you’re wearing a dress that’s strapless and a bra that isn’t.

    • I like the suit but the blouse is just weird.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      I love this entire outfit, even the shoes (blush).

  3. Prom-posal :

    Could the prom-posal thing for high schoolers just die already? It is training to be Narcissistic Bride some day.

    • sweetknee :

      I know. My daughter just got “prom posed”. The fella was really sweet, and did a good job. Fortunately, she is pretty low key, and did no expect it, but I can see how it could set up lots of drama down the road.

    • Anonymous :

      Social media is making people get wildly narcissistic at a younger and younger age. Soon three-year-olds will be asking each other on play dates in dramatic, Pinterest-y fashion.

    • faddaffaddfs :

      Awww no! My younger sister is going to prompose to her (male) date – it’s Star Wars themed! Apparently it goes both ways now, which makes it much better. I agree it can get a bit crazy, but so can prom or sweet 16s in general, and looking back it was good and fun to have a big dress up event like that in school. Lots of countries have traditions of seniors dancers, or leavers balls, or whatever.

      • Prom-posal :

        That sounds sweet. What I’m hearing is “so-and-so will go, but she expects a prom-posal.”

        • Anonymous :

          Where I live, it seems like it’s more the moms that want it! I’m in a hobby group with quite a few moms of high schoolers, and it seems like a competition to post pictures from their kids’ “HoCos” and promposals. I don’t know the kids, but their faces look a little embarrassed in the photos.

        • faddaffaddfs :

          Well I think they have talked about it pretty much decided they are going together, but he is a pretty shy/quiet kid so she decided why not. Alright enough high school stories for now

    • Rainbow Hair :

      A usually very sweet friend of mine got engaged. I texted to her ask how she was feeling about the whole thing, and she told me that she was honestly pretty down because she didn’t think she got “the proposal [she] deserved” because the surprise was ruined by a friend who was looped into the planning. Like… wut? The “proposal you deserve” is … it’s just such a bizarre concept, another thing to be sad about. Made me sad for her.

      • Prom-posal :

        Right! I’d be happy if someone gets the groom they deserved.

        • Yay Kat! I love Alexander McQueen’s stuff. I even went to the MET museum a couple of years ago to see an exhibit. The lines were way to long, but it was worth it, b/c his stuff is UNIQUE! As for the OP, I agree. I wish I had found a decent guy to marry, but Alan was NOT to be the one, b/c he preferred the BOTTLE over me. I am still waiting to find that guy, but men just want to drink, or have s-x, but NOT marry me. FOOEY on men like that. I see that some women have had better luck, but I am in the camp of no spouse, no s-x, no booze, and am FINE with that for now. YAY!!!

      • Anonymous :

        I agree it’s a weird response and expecting a dramatic proposal is sad, but I also think asking someone “how [they’re] feeling about the whole thing” kind of encourages them to open up about anything they might be sad or disappointed about. “Congratulations! When’s the wedding?” is a more common reaction to engagement news, so she may have thought you picked up on her disappointment and were giving her an opening to discuss it.

        • Rainbow Hair :

          I don’t mind that she told me her real feelings — I would hope she would have, given the kind of friendship we have. I was just sad that she had these expectations that made what could’ve been a really joyful time for her into something to be sad about.

      • Anonymous :

        I don’t have a lot of empathy for the way she expressed it but I can relate to being let down by a proposal. My now DH proposed while we were on a hike with his mom. His mom hates me and cried (not happy tears) after the proposal. Not a great memory. Not “the proposal I deserved”

        • Anonymous :

          #nottheMILyoudeserved

        • Anonymous :

          OMG. That sounds awful, and I’d be really upset too. Frankly, I’d have been upset if my husband had proposed in front of my MIL and she’s sweet and supportive. I just think it should be a private moment. The fact that your MIL was so upset she cried (!!) just makes it next level awful.
          That’s totally different than being upset because your fiance proposed at a nice restaurant instead of flying you to Bora Bora for the weekend.

        • Anonymous :

          Not the world’s worst mother-in-law. My grandmother sat shiva (Jewish mourning ritual) for my father when he announced his plans to marry my mom, because she’s not Jewish. Unsurprisingly, no one in my immediate family has a relationship with her now.

        • If a man proposed to me in front of a woman who hated me so much that she cried, my answer would be no.

          Part of having a healthy marriage is putting limits on the ability of people in your life to hurt your spouse. I’m glad it is working out for you, but most of the time those things happen, it doesn’t.

        • Rainbow Hair :

          Woah, that MIL crying thing sounds utterly terrible! *That* can clearly be filed under “you deserved better!”

      • GirlFriday :

        I think you’re right – that was a weird response from her, but I responded pretty poorly to my now-hub’s proposal. Are you the kind of friend who could gently say “hey that’s odd/bratty/insert appropriate adjective”? I feel like nowadays (granted I’m older now) if I responded the same way my friends would be like “Hey, something awesome just happened! Stop being a jerky diva! Love you!!!”

      • Sydney Bristow :

        The “proposal you deserve” thing is definitely an odd reaction, although did she mean that she was disappointed by the proposal itself (including how it was done) or was just disappointed because the surprise part was ruined by someone else? I could see beeing sad that the surprise was ruined if it was always intended as a surprise. Its still a weird way to phrase it.

    • Anonymous :

      I said no to the guy who asked me to prom senior year. He followed me to my car (in a nonthreatening way–we were friendly) in the school parking lot after school one day. I already had plans to go with my other single female friends, had no interest in this guy, one of my friends did have a crush on him and probably would’ve been hurt, and in general our school was just not one where people went to prom with dates unless you were dating exclusively. There wasn’t really anyone in earshot, and it was pretty easy to respond something about how it was nice of him to ask, but I already had plans, and then get in my car and drive away.

      I can’t imagine how awkward it would’ve been to politely say no if he’d gone to the effort of planning an elaborate, probably semi-public, promposal. I don’t like the trend in that respect–how it seemingly shifts so much of the decision power to the guys, and the girls are supposed to just wait around hoping to be surprised by anyone.

      • Anonymous :

        I think some girls demand it like some women I know who have a minimum carat size for the engagement ring they get.

        And it would be very creepy to me if the guy did this when not specifically demanded. Something like the scene from Say Anything is only cute in the movies.

        • Anonymous :

          In HS, a guy asked me to be his gf by popping enough popcorn to fill two trash bags with popcorn and putting a note in one that said, “I want to pop you a question” and in the other, “Will you be my girlfriend?” I didn’t want to be his girlfriend despite him being a very nice guy. I said no and I felt even worse about it because he had put together this elaborate way to ask me. I can’t imagine if it had been broadcast somehow on social media!

      • Anonymous :

        That’s a good point that I hadn’t thought about. It kind of makes it impossible for the girl to say no, which is very troubling.

        • Anonymous :

          I listened to a whole podcast about this trend, and the kids openly suggested this is why they like the promposal: it frees them from staring the other person in the eye and asking in a straightforward way, and it limits the risk of rejection. Terrible. Where did we go so off-track with teen dating? It seems to have really gone to terrible places in the last 2 generations.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I feel the same way about elaborate proposals that happen in public. It is one thing to turn it down privately or even in a small restaurant where maybe a few people see/hear it happen. It is entirely another thing when it happens at a sporting event on a jumbotron or with a flash mob. I think if you aren’t 100% sure that your partner will enthusiastically agree and WANT a proposal like that then it can come across as out of touch with your SO at the best or manipulative at the worst.

    • Anonymous :

      Oh gosh. My prom was very low key? I was “dating” somebody at the time and kind of just looked at him and was like, “We’re going to do that thing, right?” Even as a “millenial,” I am glad promposals were not a thing in my generation. (And I want to elope. I don’t even particularly care if I get an engagement ring.)

      10+ years later, junior prom guy and I now live in the same metro area of a large city. I actually asked him to come to my sibling’s military commissioning with me, but I think he’s going to have to work. We live on opposite sides of a really congested area and he works swing shifts in a SCIF so we actually don’t see each other that often, but I wish we did live closer because he is still extremely smart and funny, and I think we’d still be friends. I saw him a few weeks ago and he told me his grandmother still asks about me.

      My senior year was less glamorous (juniors “hosted” the prom at my HS) — the guy I went with asked me because he couldn’t find anybody else, and I wasn’t going to go otherwise. He got a DUI two nights before prom, threw a beer box out of his vehicle at a cop car, etc. – my parents wouldn’t let me bail.

      • Anonymous :

        Wait, you’re parents wouldn’t let you bail on the date, as in, cancel? My parents would not have let me GO to prom with a guy who had just gotten a DUI. Did he drive you to prom??

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I actually went to 5 proms (due to dating people from other schools and a junior while I was still a sophmore) and most of them didn’t even involve asking whether we wanted to attend. It was more just an exchange of details and making plans for dinner beforehand.

        There were a couple of elaborate “prom-posals” in my friend group. I think one of them involved covering a car in post-it notes. I think the couples were already dating though so it was unlikely to be turned down. We never used the “prom-posal” term though.

    • There are actually a story on This American Life about prom-posals a couple weeks ago. I was actually stunned that this is a thing – I’m in my 30s and don’t really know any teenagers so I didn’t know this was a thing…

      • Teenage cousin/other family in suburban Atlanta with whom we’re very close and see a lot. I can confirm that not only is it ‘a thing’, the moms (my aunt included) are SO WAY MORE INTO IT than any of the kids.

  4. Gnat prevention? :

    I live in Silicon Valley, renting an apartment with no AC. With the nice weather lately, we’ve been opening up our doors and windows, and will continue to do this for the next 8 months. We have bug screens on the doors/windows, but I’m still finding these little gnat-looking bugs. They’re not quite as small as a gnat, but not as big as a fruit fly, but I don’t like them. Our place is clean, it literally just started this week with the open doors/windows, but it seems like the preventative screens have mesh that’s too big or something (or just gaps on the sliding door?). Is there some sort of cheap “old wives’ tale” remedy that I could spray on the mesh or door frames to reduce the number of gnats? We don’t have pets, so I’m open to harsher chemicals, but I don’t think we need to bring in a full-on exterminator, since it’s not an infestation. I JUST HATE THE STUPID LITTLE BUGS, but I can’t just keep all the doors and windows shut as it gets warmer! We’d occasionally get spiders in our old apartment when we left doors and windows open, despite the screens, so I know bugs are just a part of life, but this feels like it would be more annoying than the occasional tiny spider.

    • Not sure what kind of bugs you have, but generally a pyrethrin-based insect killer works well. That chemical also stays on materials for a decent amount of time. They actually treat mosquito nets with it for long-term protection, so you might be able to find actual fabric treatment that will last. This is all assuming that the chemical works for your bugs. It kills mosquitoes and fleas for sure, so pretty strong, but you never know!

    • Aunt Jamesina :

      A trick I’ve found that works with all sorts of bugs is to leave an open cup of vinegar (I use apple cider or red wine) with a few drops of dish soap in it (to break the surface tension) near a spot where they congregate. After a week, you’ll have a gross cup of dead bugs and vinegar!

      • +1 we do this but also cover the glass in saran wrap and poke a toothpick through several times so once they are in the trap they cannot get out because the flying was annoying to us.

    • Could they be coming up from the plumbing drains? You could also try pouring bleach or draino in the drains just in case.

  5. Ha, I agree. I got prom-posed too and I was so embarrassed. I am not a center-of-attention-type person. Like, duh, I’m going to prom with you, we’ve been going on dates! It wasn’t a terribly big, it was at my house when I had a couple of friends over, but I am just *not* that person.

    I am engaged now (not to my HS boyfriend) and he knew to ask me in a very low-key way and that I would probably pee my pants if he asked me on a jumbotron, haha. (He asked me on a park bench, it was so perfectly sweet.)

    • Anonymous :

      I told my now-husband from pretty much the moment we met “NEVER EVER PROPOSE TO ME ON A JUMBOTRON.”

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      Haven’t read what this is referring to, but if my future husband were to propose to me any way but low key, I can almost guarantee he’d think I was going to say no I would be so freaked out/anxious/crying in embarrassment. I hate being the center of attention and that should be a sweet, private thing, in my opinion (not saying for everyone. But for me, no productions.)

      • Oops, it was referring to the above post about “prom-posals.” Fiance told me that if it weren’t a really nice day out during our walk, his plan b was to ask me snuggled up in bed one weekend morning. Would have <3 that, too! :)

        • Sloan Sabbith :

          Read it after. :) I was reading from the bottom up.

          • Brunette Elle Woods :

            Sloan Sabbith, I finally watched season one of Newsroom and understand your name!

          • Sloan Sabbith :

            I adore Sloan. Not sure if this is season 1, but the scene with her and Neal in the elevator where he goes “You’re awesome,” and she says “I really am” is a frequently-used GIF in iMessage…

      • I absolutely LOVE being the center of attention, but I still told my now-husband that if he proposed to me in public I would say No. I also don’t post dirty laundry on social media, or play-by-play vacation photos. Life’s big moments should be enjoyed in the moment. You can share highlights with others later, but I want to be present in the moment and not thinking about whether FB Live is catching my good angle or whether the lighting is right for the shot.

    • Having had a dramatic (although not public) surprise proposal complete with Tiffany solitaire for a marriage that ended in a painful divorce, all I want when I get married again is a happy mutual decision that we’re going to pull the trigger. Literally, I cannot imagine anything better than just sort of having a non-dramatic adult conversation that results in the decision to move forward into a life together. No jumbotrons, no getting down on a knee, and a mutual exchange of engagement gifts (I like rings, so I’d want a ring, but I’d want to get him something as well).

    • Sydney Bristow :

      Neither my husband or I like to be the center of attention. He wrote out the proposal in the snow because he was so scared he’d pass out while asking me. It was very sweet and low key. I think he was going to try and ask me out loud when we were out on a walk but got too nervous. We’d talked everything out and knew we were getting married but he wanted to surprise me with the ring.

      He is so nervous of being the center of attention that we alerted our front row at the wedding that they were all on fainting patrol during the ceremony.

      • legal canuck :

        we were at a dance (my parents were there), my parents and my now DH and i all Ballroom and Latin dance. He was off all night. When my parents left my dad gave him a big hug ( He asked dad for permission and told him when he was going to propose, so dad knew before me. I thought it was weird but whatevs), Then my DH took me outside and proposed. The plan originally was to propose in front of everyone but he was too nervous so he did out in private under a starry sky.
        Way nicer in my thought.
        Married 10 years

  6. so many moles :

    Any recs for a dermatologist in Chicago?

    my mom is having *another* mole removed and biopsied today and I totally have her skin; I realized I need to be more serious about it. … and maybe get a little botox while I’m at it.

    • Sorry for the late response, but I’m a big fan of Dr. Amin on Halsted across the street from New City

    • Bethanee Schlosser MD

      Northwestern
      Women’s health, Dermatology

      Excellent doctor, very smart, technically excellent, very busy.
      She does the most thorough, documented skin check I have ever seen.

      Not sure if she does Botox. Check her website.

  7. Can anyone find me a sandal that looks like the Loeffler Randall ‘Finley Strappy Mule’? before I get fired for wasting all this time at work searching for shoes :) ? It’s $350 which is my car payment so out of reach. Maybe something $100-150 or less?

    • There are these but they’re imitation leather: https://www.etsy.com/listing/518410751/poppy-faux-leather-strapped-mules?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=handmade&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=leather%20mules&ref=sr_gallery_47

      I would contact one of the shoemakers on etsy and ask them to do something custom.

  8. I’m moving to a role that allows for less travel and more time at home. One of the upsides of this change is that I’ll actually be around to cook more and eat more meals at home! What are your pantry staples or the things you always have on hand for dinners or lunches? I’m used to just grabbing snack and breakfast foods at the grocery store and ordering in or going out to eat most of the time, and I realized I have no idea what kinds of things I should consistently have in the kitchen, as I’m not used to being home for more than a few days in a row. Help?

    • Marshmallow :

      Lentil or whole-wheat pasta
      Quinoa
      Boil-in-bag brown rice
      Packaged chicken sausage (perishable, but usually has a best-by date a month or so in the future)
      Trader Joe’s frozen chicken breast tenders (can be cooked without defrosting!)
      Capers, olives, garlic
      Grated Romano cheese
      Lemon and lime juice in the fridge, or real lemons and limes
      Good cheese and whole wheat crackers
      Whole wheat English muffins and peanut butter or avocados for a quick breakfast
      Eggs (can also be used for dinner in a stir-fry)
      Hearty veggies that last all week in the fridge, like broccoli, kale, and brussels sprouts
      Canned white beans and black beans
      Cheese for snacking
      Apples, pears, clementines for snacking

      My go-to, dead easy pantry dinner is pasta with white beans and veggies. While your pasta boils, sautee some garlic in a little olive oil with salt and pepper. Drain a can of white beans and add it to your oil and garlic. Cook some veggies either sauteed with the beans (brussels sprouts, anything leafy) or boiled in the pasta water (broccoli, asparagus). In the last few minutes of cooking, add some white wine or chicken broth to the sautee pan, bring it to a boil, and reduce the liquid. Once it’s reduced, add some lemon juice and capers if you’re feeling fancy. Drain the pasta, mix it all up, and add a lot of grated cheese.

      When Husband is working late or has plans, I often just eat cheese, crackers, and fruit for dinner. No cooking, and goes well with wine. :)

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        I add some almonds or cashews or hummus and pita chips and a few pieces of pepperoni or salami and eat that A LOT for dinner, especially in the summer when I’m not into anything hot because my apartment is 85*. Full meal.

    • Michelle Urvater’s Monday to Friday cookbook has a whole section on stocking your pantry and fridge and a whole section on things to cook right out of the pantry. The barbecued black beans are a staple in my house — even The Kid eats them! The book also is great for meal planning where you do a big thing on Sunday (e.g. roast a leg of lamb or do a pot roast) and then turn it into a bunch of different things during the week, with variants for adults/kids/picky eaters and suggestions for different sides and entire meals/menus (e.g. “good for families eating at different times”, “good for entertaining”). It’s not a fancy cookbook, but it gets a lot of use at my house!

    • No Problem :

      -Spices and herbs (salt, pepper, garlic powder, tarragon, basil, etc.)
      -butter, olive oil, other cooking oil you like
      -flour, sugar, baking soda (anything else for baking if you plan to do that)
      -eggs
      -head of garlic
      -potatoes, rice, other grains you like to eat
      -frozen veggies (easy to add as a side to any meal)
      -salad dressing and fixings if you eat them often enough
      -various condiments (ketchup, mustard, steak sauce, etc)
      -boxed or canned chicken or vegetable stock, or bullion cubes/granules
      -frozen meat or tofu (I always have at least a package of chicken breasts I can defrost if I have nothing else to eat)

    • I love to cook, but I’ve long since realized that by the time I get home on weeknights, I’m hangry and make bad choices. So I cook on Sunday and portion out the leftovers for the week. I’m a big fan of homemade soups and stews – I choose healthy ones loaded with veggies and beans – and freeze them in individual containers. Pinterest has so many great recipes, and I’ve never made anything bad from SkinnyTaste.

  9. I traveled for a friend’s wedding this weekend, stayed in a hotel, and checked out on Sunday. They still haven’t billed my credit card. It’s not even on my credit card activity as a pending charge. We checked out at the desk and verified that they had the right card (I wanted to maximize points) on our way out.

    Is this a normal delay? Should I call the hotel? I shouldn’t just wait and see/hope they never bill me, right?

    • Is it possible that they charged another CC from the one you check in with? If there’s an oversight it will be caught sooner or later. Better to be on top of it than have this charge go through later on when maybe you need the room on your CC.

    • Is it possible that they billed your card when you booked the reservation? You may have not noticed since that’s not typical.

    • Anonymous :

      Assuming you don’t normally carry a big balance relative to your limit (i.e., it won’t be a disaster if they bill you three weeks from now) I wouldn’t call them. If they forget to bill you, their loss. Probably they will eventually bill it or they already have and it’s just taking a while to process (or is there any possibility you pre-paid the room when you booked or paid a deposit that was higher than the total room charge?)

    • I definitely didn’t prepay when I booked the reservation or any other time. I don’t have any charges from that hotel chain in the last 3 months.

    • I’ve had this happen, but usually only if they’ve already put a hold on your card (which may not show up in pending). Honestly don’t think it’s worth calling until Friday.

    • This happens to me often with hotels. They will bill you :)

  10. Paging Lawsuited :

    Scouting Last Call this afternoon I saw this great Michael Michael Kors dress that could work for a post-partum lady at a formal wedding. Size 0x-4x and a steal at $65. I may buy it for myself.

    http://www.lastcall.com/MICHAEL-Michael-Kors-Plus-Front-Slit-Jersey-Maxi-Dress-Navy-Plus-Size/prod43200065_cat6400046_cat6390017_cat000003/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%252Fcategory.service%253FitemId%253Dcat6400046%2526pageSize%253D30%2526No%253D30%2526Ns%253DPCS_SORT%2526refinements%253D&eItemId=prod43200065&cmCat=product

  11. Anyone planning to live/retire alone, and are considering a different method of financial planning for retirement because of this? So no spousal monies/SS/pension to assist.

    When I retire, I am hoping to have decent savings, but much of it will not be in traditional retirement accounts since many of my years thus far have not included retirement benefits. My social security will be modest, and will not cover my monthly needs for sure.

    Since I will not be worried about “saving” any monies for my “estate” (no children), I will essentially be spending it down. This is nerve wracking since who knows how long I will live. Would someone like me be reasonable to consider more paths for ensuring an “income” long term? For example, even though it was beat into me that most annuities are bad things, maybe they would make sense for me?

    Any thoughts appreciated.

    • You need to invest – in index funds, most likely. Regardless of whether you have ever had a 401(k). You don’t say how long until your planned retirement, but possibly you would do well to talk to a financial advisor, even just once. Your investments, once they grow large enough, will produce income in the form of dividends.

      Important warning: make sure that you have more than enough to cover unanticipated medical expenses. I have a relative, never married and no children, who did not have a traditional career and essentially lived off his investments, who was diagnosed with a catastrophic illness 10 years ago and has had significant medical expenses since then. He would benefit from assisted living or nursing care, but financially, it may be prohibitive for him.

      Long story short, you need to save, a lot.

    • Go to a fee-based financial planner. Do you have your savings invested anywhere? Target date funds are often the easiest, but may not be right for everyone. (TDFs go by 5 year increments – if you’re 40 and want to retire in 25 years, you’d get the 2040 or 2045 TDF.) You can open an account at Vanguard or other investment firms if you have a little nest egg built up.

      People need to save 12-15% of their annual income to have enough money for retirement. Investing that money makes it go a lot farther than it sitting in a savings account not doing anything.

      Re: medical expenses. Read the fine print carefully on any long-term care policies you choose to take out. My grandfather paid outrageous premiums for 20 years on a policy, only for us to discover that it would only pay out after 60 days’ illness – he was gone by then. His final medical bills (for 6 weeks of round-the-clock hospice care) were far less than all the premiums he had paid out over the years.

  12. Ladies, I could use some words of encouragement. I am expecting my first baby and my due date has come and gone. I have an induction scheduled for 41 weeks & 5 days, which is quickly approaching and I’d really like to avoid it if possible. I’ve already tried all the old wives’ tales, but any advice on staying sane/getting things moving would be greatly appreciated.

    • Anonymous :

      Advice on getting things moving is walk, walk and walk some more. I walk (waddled) 4km on a hilly trail before going into labor with my first.

      • Thanks – this has been my approach until getting a bunch of snow/freezing weather in the past couple of days, which makes it difficult to do!

        • Anonymous :

          Is there an indoor walking track in your area? Maybe at the local university or high school? Or do laps at the mall.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I wonder if you can trick yourself — the idea that baby wants to come when mom is feeling safe and relaxed and all of that? What if you just try to believe that the induction is happening, and between now and then all you have to do is eat ice cream (or whatever it is you like) and lie (uncomfortably) in bed?

      • Rainbow Hair :

        This is based on the fact that the night I started maternity leave, I kicked up my feet (metaphorically, I was at a restaurant and strolling through my neighborhood) and ate sushi and ice cream and bam, my water broke.

    • Anonymous :

      No advice about getting labor going but I had a couple of friends who were induced and they both had a pretty good experience and a v*ginal delivery. Hopefully if you do have to be induced, you’ll have a good experience too!

      • overdue too :

        I was induced because I was overdue and it was a good experience (relatively speaking; labor is hard) with a shortish labor a vg delivery.

    • Minnie Beebe :

      I ate spicy soup and watched a *very* funny Louis CK comedy special the night my water broke (still had to be induced because labor hadn’t started yet) but it’s worth a shot. If Louis CK isn’t your thing, binge-watch season one of Kimmy Schmidt?

    • Anonymous :

      I was due on Dec. 27. My kid was born on Jan. 6. I’m still a little bitter about that and it’s been almost 20 years. Those weeks were hard and I tried EVERYTHING that people suggested. He came out eventually and it was all good. Just know that you are not alone…it happens all the time and there is a reason they are called estimated due dates.

      • No real suggestions as I tried everything under the sun, and my daughter was 10 days past her “due date.” Those are not easy days of watching and waiting and reading into every slight twinge, and finally getting to the point of begging baby to come out. Hang in there!

    • Anonymous :

      As someone for whom both babies came late, I’m not sure there’s really anything you can do, but I would caution against going on too long or exhausting walks, because you’ll need energy for the labor and delivery! I sort of waddled around the neighborhood for a few miles on my last few days.

      • Anon in NYC :

        Yep. 41 weeks + 6 days here. It just happened. Water broke at 4 a.m. the day before I was scheduled to go in for an induction. Honestly, I would try relaxing if you can. I had just stopped working and was still sort of decompressing from that, plus stressing about labor, etc. That afternoon I just laid on the couch, watched tv all day, read books, etc. and it happened.

    • Anonymous :

      I was three weeks late and came naturally. I guess they didn’t induce women in the early 80s? Or my mom convinced them not to induce her somehow? I don’t know what happened, but now that I have seen close friends go through pregnancy I can’t imagine being three weeks overdue.

      • Anonymous :

        I was born in ’81 and was 3 weeks overdue. Mom was not induced.

        Though, my brother was, at Mom’s request. Because her primary doctor was going to be out of town and she didn’t like the other one, I think. This was the mid-80s, in a rural Western state.

      • Same here. 3 weeks late in the early 80s, and both of my kids were induced at 41+6, as far as they’d let me wait for full insurance coverage.

        Google “due date vs delivery date” and you’ll see a bunch of graphs that say (ignoring inductions and scheduled cesareans) ~10% of babies are born sometime after 41 weeks. Think about all the friends and colleagues you know who delivered at 37 or 38 weeks – statistically that many friends and colleagues should also be going to 42 or 43 weeks, but most doctors and/or insurance companies start encouraging inductions at sometime in the 40th week.

    • Two Cents :

      Have you tried accupuncture? I have two friends who used it and went into labor naturally a mere few hours later. I was induced and ended up with a c-section, which was fine but not ideal. I would absolutely look into accupuncture. Best of luck!

    • This may sound crazy, but mourning my worst case scenario as if it was a guarantee really helped me stay sane. I’m talking sobbing and making a fool of myself. The change in my outlook after that catharsis was so marked that my husband actually wanted to be around me for the first time since about 38 weeks (ha!). Making peace with an induction may not bring baby any sooner, but it may help your mental state.

      Good luck!

    • (former) 3L mama :

      This doesn’t help you, but I made a considered decision after investigating the risks to misrepresent my LMP when I went in for my first prenatal appointment – I said my LMP and date of ovulation were 4 days later than I actually knew them to be, because I didn’t want pressure from my ob or insurance co. to HAVE to have an induction at 41+6 or else, when my mom and all her sisters had all their babies at 42+2/3/4.

      I felt like maybe my body/baby would just need those extra four days. I had a very normal pregnancy so the deliberate misdating mattered not one whit, and I will definitely do it again to give myself some mental breathing space against the concerned clucking about induction.

    • Could your dr or midwife sweep your membranes? I had that done at 40w3d and labor started the next evening. It wasn’t too much more uncomfortable than an internal exam.

    • When my first was 41 1/2 weeks gestation my OB looked at my sausage-like feet and asked “are you trying to walk this baby into being born?” I sheepishly admitted I was (and was also doing a freakish amount of the nasty with hubs because I’d been told that helped). She said, “the baby will come when it’s ready. Sit on the couch and put those feet up. You won’t have time to do that again for years.”

      I ended up being induced at 42 weeks and had a fairly routine v ag delivery.

      My daughter was very large though! (Not just in weight.)

    • Been there :

      My first was 11 days late. My water broke at 4am the morning before my induction.

      Delivery was fast. I was dilated to like 5cm before I went to bed, so when I woke up and my water broke I was in Full On Labor. I went to the hospital and ended up with an epi which took me from my In A Lot of Pain state to No Pain. It was glorious. I sipped water an the baby basically fell out. total time start to finish was 6 hours but the doc said if I’d gone epi free it would have been more like 5.

      Fwiw I’ve now had my second kid who was induced (13 days late….). The induction was AWESOME- nothing like the horror stories I’d read. I got up at 6am, had an IV in by 8, was having Real Contractions by 10:30. Got an epi at 11:45 and baby was in my arms at 12:55. This time I felt more of the birth- in a good way. It took the painful part away and left with pressure/some mild sensation. I didn’t tear the second time and could have walked over to the maternity ward, but they wouldn’t let me (of course).

      In retrospect, I felt far more pain in my first labor pre-epi. It was not a day at the park but it was not that bad, and it was over quickly! I’d been expecting my second delivery to be worse than the first and it was way, way better. And the first wasn’t even that bad.

      The worst part was the waiting. Literally, longest days of my life. Especially the first time- second time I sort of knew I’d go past my due date.

    • Not me, but my best friend went overdue twice and was induced twice. Her first labor lasted 6 hours, her second lasted 3 (she had the baby so fast it was just her and her husband in the room and he caught the baby; the nurses didn’t make it in until the baby was all the way out). She had epidurals with no episiotomy either time. Not everyone has a great experience being induced, but it can happen. Good luck!

  13. A relatively new coworker keeps acting as if I report to them. I don’t. They are higher on the food chain (report directly to Big Boss, I report to someone in between). We otherwise have an OK working relationship, but I really want to curb this. Does anyone have a suggested script? I would prefer to handle one on one, not bring my supervisor into this.

    • Anonymous :

      “[Supervisor’s Name] has me busy with Project X as my top priority, so I can’t help you out on this.”

      I’m not sure what else they’re doing besides delegating work to you, so that’s what I would say about task delegations.

    • Anonymous :

      Depends on what they are doing to “act[] as if [you] report to them.” Giving you assignments? Generally behaving superior?

  14. A friend/informal mentee is representing an opposing party in one of my matters. She’s the junior and she’s working with a team of superiors. I don’t know specifically what her involvement is. I received something from her team that contains a big error. I’m going to tell counsel about the error, but I’d like to minimize the fallout for my mentee if it was her fault. Is it inappropriate for me to call my mentee first to let her deal with it internally before I formally respond to her team at large? Something about that feels off to me. How would you handle this?

    • Anonymous :

      Completely inappropriate. Your responsibility is to your client not her.

      • Fwiw, it’s a correctable error that I/my client want them to correct. It’s not the sort of thing that would give us some kind of tactical advantage. Doesn’t matter to me if they internally realize the error and correct it or if I formally tell them and then they correct it.

        • No, in this circumstance you have to act like you don’t have a relationship to her. There may be fallout for her and you can talk to her after the matter wraps up about how to handle that, but in this circumstance you have to operate in the same way you would if you had no idea who she was.

    • Agree that it’s completely inappropriate. All you can do is handle it as professionally and graciously as possible, within the limits of representing your client to the best of your ability.

    • Anonymous :

      Agree with above comments that giving your mentee a heads up is completely inappropriate. You have to be thinking about your client, not your mentee.

    • I would follow typical procedures here. Giving the other side a heads-up because she’s your mentee seems kind of off to me, though I can’t point to exactly why. I think all you can do is try not to be particularly jerky about this issue (to the extent you can do so while also representing your clients’ interests.)

      • Just to be clear – I’m giving the other side a heads-up either way. I want them to fix the error. It’s a matter of how I go about communicating that. Do I contact mentee first to let her deal with it or do I send something formal to the team, which is what I’d do if I didn’t know anyone on the other side.

        I take everyone’s point though that I should follow normal procedures. Fingers crossed that it wasn’t mentee’s error.

        • Do what you would do if you didn’t know anyone on the other side. This is an excellent time to set a great example for your mentee regardless of whether it was her mistake or not.

        • No. treating the situation differently because she is your mentee is not ok. If you would normally go to a junior person who you don’t have an outside relationship with to allow them to minimize blowback, maybe you can justify it here, but I don’t think that’s possible. Seems like very minimal upside and big downside for you here if you’re going to formally inform the other side of the issue anyway.

    • Anonymous :

      So I think in general, it would be inappropriate to give the mentee a heads up but it depends on the circumstance.

      Anecdata: I am on a case where one of the opposing counsel is my friend outside of work. Once my assistant filed something and it was missing a page. She shot my a quick email to say, “FYI, your filing is missing a page.” I refiled it immediately. Now, the other attorneys would have emailed in the morning about the missing page, and we obviously would have been able to correct the filing regardless, but I appreciated the heads up so I could fix it before someone else had to bring it to our attention. Nothing inappropriate about that.

      But beyond something simple like a missing page, it’s hard for me to imagine a circumstance where it wouldn’t seem inappropriate. But I wouldn’t worry about trying to save her. Not your job, and it might not even be her mistake.

  15. Sloan Sabbith :

    After a frustrating day, including finding out that I took time off work to deal with an issue at the SSA only to learn the office closes at noon on Wednesdays nationwide (I know I could have looked this up. Trust me. I know.), it made my day so much better when the barista comped my latte because he said I looked like I was having a tough day.

    The president of our state bar association also bought me lunch. I didn’t know it was him until I thought about it more and googled him and he didn’t know I was a lawyer. I went to a cash only place and didn’t know it was cash only and he just bought it for me. I appreciate it but its also one of the types of things that make me so anxious. I know it’s not rational.

    • New Tampanian :

      Send the bar president a thank you note. If you remember the barista’s name, send a message via website or on twitter to the company. Then take a few minutes to breathe.

      • I actually wouldn’t do this. I’ve been a barista before and while nice, it’s technically giving away company goods. So maybe just keep it to “great service” and not “free drink.”

        • Sloan Sabbith :

          Oops. Tweeted it. I think the company would be okay with it- they gave out free, warm chocolate cake to everyone in the coffee shop and brought water for everyone, so I think it’s a company where this would be something good, not a problem.

          • Anonymous :

            I worked at Starbucks and did this once in a while. Manager chalked it up to “great customer service/connecting with customer”, “recognizing customer needs” and “creating the third place” for the customer. I wouldn’t worry.

    • That s*cks. I dealt with the SSA early in my career and don’t specifically remember them closing at noon on Wednesdays. And yes, you could look that up, but it is completely understandable that you would not think to look up whether a major public-facing government agency was open on a regular Wednesday afternoon.

      You could send the bar association president a thank-you note and $10 bill or gift card for buying you lunch. Who knows, it could be a good way to make a connection.

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        Apparently it started in 2013. They also close at 3 pm every day, because people who have jobs never need to go to SSA or something.
        My local office also closes for an hour at lunch.

  16. Prescriptions from outside the country :

    What is the legality of buying prescriptions from outside the US? I am a medical provider and patients ask me about this to buy cheaper medications online. I can’t recommend it, but I don’t know if it is illegal.

    • Anonymous :

      Yes, it absolutely is illegal and you should be discouraging your clients from doing it anytime you have the opportunity to.

      • Anonymous :

        *patients

      • Anonymous :

        It’s disturbing that you, as a medical provider, are asking this on fashion blog or asking at all TBH.

      • Did not know :

        Wait its illegal to buy medicine outside of the US? I understand that a doctor may not be allowed to tell you to do that, but it’s illegal to buy/bring them in at all?

        • Anonymous :

          Yes, it is illegal to buy prescription medications from the location outside the US. Perhaps I should not have assumed that the patients meant from online pharmacies, but I can’t really imagine any other way someone would buy prescription drugs outside the US while living in the US.

          • Yes, there is another way – you may be on vacation outside of the US, fall sick, need to visit a local doctor, who may need to prescribe you some Rx medication, which you may need to take for a longer period and end up bringing this medication to the US. Seems far-fetched, but happens more often then you think. Also, if I am visiting the US and I am on prescription meds, I will bring my European medications with me (for my personal usage). Also legal.

        • Anonymous :

          Over the counter is probably fine. But doctor’s are usually licensed state-by-state – I imagine that limits their ability to prescribe restricted (prescription) only medications that can be filled outside of that state (I may not have that completely correct, as IANAD) and country.

          That’s why the whole buy-prescription-drugs-from-Canada-because-its-cheaper thing is a thing.

          • Did not know :

            Ohhhh. So if you have a prescription from a doctor in another country (say Canada) that’s fine. It’s just that obviously an American doctor’s prescription could not be used outside the country.

          • Anonymous :

            Shrug. Don’t quote me on it. I’m just spitballing as to some of the reasons.

          • I am guessing that the OP’s patients had gotten a script from her/him and were looking to buy it online from Canada or another online pharmacy because it’s cheaper. I am 99% sure that’s illegal unless you match the pharmacy against one of the approved lists. Not to mention that something like only 3% of online pharmacies are legit and you don’t really know what you are going to get from the other ones. Lots of scams out there!

      • Under what statute?

    • PharmAtty :

      It’s illegal because it’s importing drugs that are not approved. Even if it’s something that is approved here, different countries approve different formulations, manufacturing sites and processes, etc.. There’s really no way for a consumer to be able to tell whether they have the US-approved formula with the US-approved active or inactive ingredients, or if they have something else. Drug approvals are manufacturer-dosage-pill form-formula-manufacturing method-manufacturing site-specific, so any variation in this = unapproved.

      There have been some pretty big issues with things like insulin coming from “a Canadian pharmacy” that arrives warm, dosages not being the same (an rx is written for 30 5-mg pills, the rx is filled with 30 15-mg pills because the 5-mg isn’t the approved form in whatever country the rx was filled), the packaging from the “Canadian pharmacy” is actually in Chinese, and things like that.

      The Canadian pharmacy websites claim to have a Canadian doctor write an rx for the “equivalent” of the American doctor’s rx, which is how they can fill the rx in Canada.

      • is it really “importing” if you are just doing it for yourself? I’m pretty sure “importing” is a term of art with legal connotations regarding retail.

        • Anonymous :

          Oh FFS, if you want to try to justify it for yourself, fine, but don’t kid yourself that it’s legal (or safe).

        • PharmAtty :

          It is really importing if you are just doing it for yourself. Importing is a legal term of art that, in this context, doesn’t include requirements to put products into commerce. The definition of import isn’t limited to retail because in this context there’s also wholesale importation, import-for-export, custom-made products that aren’t really “going into commerce,” etc.

          https://www.fda.gov/ForIndustry/ImportProgram/ImportBasics/ucm432661.htm.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        Interesting to know the specifics as to why. Thanks for sharing that.

        I’m on a medication that was only approved in 2014 and is often not covered by insurance (although luckily mine is covering it for now!). It costs $1300/month in the US without insurance coverage. There is a facebook group for people on the med and people there regularly talk about ordering from Canada where it is $400/month. What I’ve seen is that the pharmacy people use does ship it cold as required and the packaging is in english, so hopefully there aren’t any differences that are putting people at risk. It is still super frustrating to see the difference in price, but it is interesting to see the specific approvals issues that makes it illegal.

  17. JuniorMinion :

    Not living alone but primary breadwinner here. I would personally dissuade you from annuities. I know brokers push these as they are high commission products but they tend to have high fees / much fine print. For you I would think that there are a few good options:

    1) Traditional IRA: personal retirement account – you can generally make pretax contributions to this account depending on income. Will give you investment flexibility and ability (probably) to make pretax contributions

    2) Roth IRA: ability to fund a Roth phases out with income limits but essentially you make post tax contributions but then there are no taxes on any withdrawals. Advantage here is no capital gains / ordinary income tax

    Both of these would help you get around your employers lack of retirement accounts. As a bonus if you have a 401k you can roll it into an IRA when you leave an employer, and you can roll a Roth 401k into a Roth IRA. A good place to start investing would be in an index fund, just make sure the expense ratios are low.

    In addition if you choose to open an account I would go with Scottrade or one of the other lower cost platforms (Fidelity, Etrade, etc) as they will charge you a per trade fee (pretty low in my recollection – think single / double digits per trade) but are not commission based so have no incentive to steer you towards high fee / commission but lower performing products.

    Additionally, there are tons of resources out there from people like Scottrade / Fidelity / Vanguard who have both people you can speak to for free about financial planning if you have an account with them as well as online calculators that will help you be on track for your savings.

  18. Anonarama :

    Max Mara suits anyone? I found a classic 2-pc pantsuit single breasted for $140 and wondering if this is worth fawning over. I am really particular about fabrics and I know I’m going to end up having to put a decent amount of money into tailoring it, so wondering if it is truly a buy immediately at this price or something to keep looking around for. The reason why I ask is because I’ve been out of the “suit game” awhile and noticing many of the higher end brands are now not as nice or prestigious (pricewise) as they used to be. I don’t think I’d find one at TJ Maxx but I also don’t know if they get marked down often enough to find them at Saks and the like to wait it out.

    • Anonarama :

      Still curious as to the quality consensus, I bought the suit because even if it is a watered down brand, it is cashmere and cotton, plus marked down to $100 today. Even a cheap suit is unheard of at that price and fabric! I’ll repost in hopes to get a response.

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