Suit of the Week: Antonio Melani

light gray womens suitFor busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional.

Happy Wednesday! I’ve sung the praises of light gray pants for summer before, so this feels a bit early to me, but I really do like this light gray crosshatched suit from Antonio Melani. (Question of the day: I’ve always understood that the Melani line was an offshoot of Tahari — but all I can find about it is that the Antonio Melani shoes were started as Dillards exclusives from Vince Camuto (RIP). I also did not know that Elie Tahari was one of the founders of Theory.) ANYHOO: I’ve always had good experiences with the brand as one of the more affordable and stylish ones for workwear, and if you know Dillards you know they often have steep discounts, which is great if you enjoy stalking clothes. (This nice ponte dress is now down to $55 from $155!)  Sadly, the pictured suit is full price, available in sizes 2-14 — the jacket (Antonio Melani Steven Crosshatch Jacket) is $199, and the pants (Antonio Melani Minnie Crosshatch Pants) are $119; there’s a matching pencil skirt (Antonio Melani Olivia Crosshatch Pencil Skirt) for $99. (There is also a sheath dress for $159, but I’m not sure how I feel about that peplum detail if worn beneath the blazer. Hmmn.)

Here’s a nice light gray suit in plus sizes.

(L-all)

Comments

  1. party planning help :

    Anyone throw a 60th birthday party for a parent? My siblings and I are trying to plan one for our mom, and we could use ideas that make it feel more personal. We’ll probably go to a restaurant, but we want to have activities, a memory book, that kind of thing.

    • One thing we did was a card shower in advance of the party. It was especially fun for friends and family out of town/out of state. And you can ask people to share photos and stories in the cards. You could either have them sent directly to your mom or to you (or one of your sibs) to share with your mom on the day.

    • CapHillAnon :

      For my mother’s 60th birthday, we made a large poster of a tree and had 60 leaves out and encouraged people at the party to write memories or what they loved about her. A little sappy, but it was funny to read what people write–some sentimental things, but some other snappy, hilarious things. Some partygoers filled out a few, some did none. My siblings and I filled out the balance of them until we had 60, stuck them on the tree, and gave the poster to her. She *treasures* that thing. She has it tucked away, but takes it out to read over regularly. Similarly, for a different 70th birthday, we’ve used Shutterfly for memory books with old photos and the theme of “70 things we love about you,” and include things like tiny moments of kindness that we recall from a million years ago when we were kids–that also went over really well (but definitely took more time). We’ve also “participated” in a milestone party that we couldn’t attend by recording a video of good wishes (which the hostess had every long-distance friend do), put it in Dropbox, and she edited them all to be a sweet video to show at the party. For my grandmother’s 90th, we made a playlist of songs from around her birth year for the party (which was fantastic), and made copies to give to guests as favors. We also had made signs for the room with the notable things that happened in the year she was born. But you’ll know best what your parent would like/ might be embarrassed by. Good luck!

      • Sydney Bristow :

        For my great aunt’s 90th birthday, she had a 1920s theme party. It was awesome. The hosts had a whole collection of vintage hats and accessories for people to wear.

        Maybe you could throw a 1950s theme party?

      • Puns galore! :

        Of course it was sappy! It was written on a tree! *groan*. I amuse myself way too much!

    • Sydney Bristow :

      My dad threw a big party for my stepmom’s 60th. I couldn’t go but I coordinated a photo/story book. I asked all the invited guests to send in pictures and/or stories they had with her and then put them all into a Blurb book. She loved it.

    • anon-oh-no :

      For my grandfather’s 80th birthday and for my in-laws 40th anniversary, my husband and I did something similar (it was much easier for the latter, with the invent of s!tes like shut3rfly and the like):\

      We made a photo album/scrap book. for both, we collected photos we had and from other relatives and we did some research on various things that happened over the years in the world.

      So for the 40th anniversary one, we did a page for each year they were married and put photos of them (and the kids/grandkids as they came) and interspersed fun facts about what was going on in the world — man on moon, new inventions, sports teams winning big etc.

      it was similar for the 80th birthday, but I did a few pages for each decade rather than a page for each year.

    • We created a really cool book that contained family recipes, stories and photos for the party – as favors and a gift for my parents. They loved it.

    • Don’t forget the generational photos in all permutations.
      Why not ask everyone to dress with a “dash”of her favourite colour?
      I got my mum a “prom”style wrist corsage- she had never had one before!
      Takehome treat bags of her favourite sweet/lolly/candy??

  2. I need a reasonableness check. I work for a small boutique firm, and joined the firm about 8 months ago to work with one other more senior attorney (but not a partner) in a niche area. Let’s call it vendor contracting – not exactly what it is, but don’t want to out myself. On a day-to-day basis, senior attorney and I advise clients on how to draft and negotiate vendor contracts, but senior attorney also has a dual title as head of vendor contracting for our firm. I do not have this title, and duties related to firm vendor contracting were not at all mentioned during my salary negotiations prior to joining the firm. Senior attorney has asked me, however, to help her on several items related to firm vendor contracts, on a non-billable basis. I get some benefit from this in that it will help continue to develop my skills, but no more so than any other client project – if a client asked us to do the same thing, it would definitely be billable.

    Although I’m not being asked to spend a ton of time on this – probably no more than 5 hours per month – my instinct is that this time should be counted towards my billable hours target for the year. I feel that I’m performing a service for the firm that would otherwise be outsourced, and I did not take these duties into consideration when I was negotiating my salary, unlike the senior attorney who has this title. Senior attorney said she would talk to the partners about it, but thinks that I shouldn’t make a big deal about it since it’s not a lot of time and it’s a training opportunity.

    Does anyone have thoughts on who is in the right here? And should I approach the partners about this to argue my side or let her do it and risk her not pushing as hard as I would? I don’t want to sound entitled or nit-picky about money because I do like this firm a lot and think I am otherwise very fairly compensated. But I also don’t want to be one of those women that does not negotiate for the money she deserves.

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      Does your firm have a non-billable hour requirement that is part of your total hours expectation? My firm has a “firm development” non-billable hour requirement that this sort of task would fall under.

      • Nope, no requirement. None of the other associates perform similar types of services for the firm either, as far as I know.

    • Your manageing partner should allow you to bill it to the vendors. It is for their benefit, albeeit indirect. So just tell your manageing partner to give YOU the billeing code’s so that you can allocate your billeing’s between the vendor’s or, just see if he will agree to bill all of the vendor’s for the meazley 5 hours a month you spend. They should NOT care for 5 hours each, as long as the rest of your firm’s billeings are NOT out of line. YAY!!!

    • It’s 5 hours per month. Discuss it during your annual review. Don’t bring it up now; mountains and molehills and rocking boats come to mind. If it were more hours, I’d say sure, but 5 hours per month isn’t significant enough.

      • not the op :

        I understand how it could seem insignificant, but 5 hours per month is 60 hours per year (1.5 full weeks of work) that other attorneys do not have to do.

    • The firms I’ve worked at typically do something similar and use a billing code for firm-related work — it’s not pure billable but you do get some sort of credit for it. I’m pretty sure this is a common practice. I concur with Anon at 3:32 that you can bring it up in your annual review but if it’s only 5 hrs/month, this is not something I’d push very hard on or make it a hill you’ll die on.

    • Anonymous :

      I think 5 hours per month is too insignificant to make this into a huge issue. At most firms, attorneys are expected to spend well more than 5 hours per month on non-billable tasks, including trainings, professional development opportunities and business development. At my (large) firm I probably spend 30+ hours a month on such tasks and it is continually increasing (I’m a fifth year now). If you are only spending 5 hours per month on non-billable work, you are getting off pretty easy, even if other associates are spending 0 hours per month (which I somehow really doubt). Let it go.

      • To be clear, this is not the only non-billable work I do – I do tons of business development, CLE, training, etc. This seemed different to me though since I’m doing work on behalf of the firm that the firm would otherwise outsource, and I wasn’t aware that this would be expected of me when I negotiated my salary. I do appreciate hearing that it’s not a big deal though. I’m not angry or offended that I was asked to do it, I just want to make sure that I am being treated and compensated fairly.

        • Anonymous :

          Are you sure that a law firm would outsource vendor contract negotiations? You’ve got a building full of lawyers that have negotiation skills… Similar to law firms having their own general counsel, privacy officers, tax partners, etc. They can fill these roles internally.
          There is a lot of business involved in running a law firm that has to be done. My experience is that every lawyer is expected to make some contribution in this area based on their firm’s needs and that expectation is built into your salary. Keep up with your time and when asked in your review about your professional development, you can mention that you also have been working on this. It’s seen as being a good team player like being in management, practice group leader, being on the biz development committee, etc.

    • My previous Biglaw firm counted serving as “in-house counsel” for the firm as billable time. 5 hours a month doesn’t SOUND like a ton, but multiply that by 12, and you’ve got 60 hours — that’s 3% of your year if you have a 2000-hour requirement.

      ANYWAY, for this year, I’d keep careful records, and if either (1) you’re short on hours but would have met your requirement if this time were included, or (2) you’d be bumped to a higher bonus range if this time were included, I’d totally bring it up at your review.

      • I would not, however, seek additional salary if you discover that this time won’t be counted at all — 5 hours/month is not sufficient additional workload IMO to request a salary increase.

      • My firm did NOT count in house counsel work as billable time. If asked, you were just supposed to do it and enter it as some kind of “prof development” non billable code. Thing is — not everyone was asked. It was a sign of trust that they wanted to bring you in on some kind of firm malpractice issue and there were years where you’d end up spending several hundred hrs that year on such non billable work. But it would have been viewed VERY negatively to complain, when they thought they were giving your responsibility that they don’t trust everyone with.

        Same thing here — you’re new, you don’t REALLY know how things work beyond what you were told in the recruiting process — which isn’t always 100% legit. So with that in mind and given that its FIVE hrs a MONTH, I’d keep my mouth shut and do it for at least the first yr. Then you can raise it in an annual review, or even easier — if you get close with any of the partners, are traveling with anyone and just chatting about work, the adjustment etc. –THEN you can say ‘you know I didn’t come in here expecting this, are there other firm responsibilities that are non billable for associates?” Then you’ll get a sense whether others have to do different tasks like this too, whether the firm things they’re important, or whether they think you should do it bc it’ll only ever be 5 hrs/month.

      • I agree with this approach. My previous biglaw firm had “creditable” hours. Doing things like this weren’t “billable” but were more heavily weighted than other non-billable hours.

    • Anon Lawyer :

      Honestly, this is how small firms work sometimes and by complaining, it will probably sound like you’re not a great fit. I do a lot of non-billable work at my small firm because I’m more trusted than other lawyers and while the difference doesn’t show up in my salary, it shows up in more discretionary things.

    • When I was at a boutique firm for 10 years, we had codes that were used to track things like CLEs, marketing, or firm business, such as this vendor contracting you’re describing. So for example, I negotiated and drafted a lease for the firm, and I tracked that using the firm business number. I didn’t get billable credit for it, but when a report was ran on my hours, it would show the number of hours spent on these non-billable tasks. I always felt this was good practice.

      I was a mid-to-large sized firm that tracked nothing other than billable time. It was infuriating because I was asked to do a ton of non-billable things (way more than five hours a month) and all I could do was summarize that during my review. I tracked it on my own in a note pad and included the information in my review.

      If I were you, at your review, I would suggest creating a case number that everyone can “bill” to for non-billable tasks. You could raise it if it comes up naturally in conversation, but I wouldn’t approach it like you’re irritated by the task. It is a learning/training opportunity.

    • Thanks all – this is the check I needed. I’ll wait and record how much work it actually is and only bring it up during the review if needed. I should have emphasized in my initial post that I don’t mind at all doing the work, I just have heard so much about women not negotiating their salary as much as men or not viewing their time as valuable that I’ve become really sensitive to these issues and want to advocate for my own worth where it’s warranted. Thanks again!

    • I negotiated my firm’s Property Lease ( a real privilege to be asked) and got double hours for it!!!!!!

  3. OOOH Kat, I love the $99 pencil skirt. They are my favorite’s b/c with a properly fitteing pencil skirt, men can NOT get their greazy fingers where they do NOT belong! YAY!!!

    I have a doctor’s appointement tonight with my GP to look at my thigh. It is VERY painful when I touch it and I do NOT even roll over at night on that side. I wonder if anything inside is broken? I do NOT think so, but it is very WARM to the touch also. FOOEY! If I was abel to, I would visit Noah at Mt. Sinai ER, but there was this doctor there that was grabbing women’s boobies in the ER–gross. I wonder if Noah know’s him? I would NOT go there to ask b/c I heard Noah was dateing someone new. I missed out all b/c of Dad and E’bola. FOOEY! Where can I find another doctor to MARRY me? DOUBEL FOOEY b/c that other doctor in the ER might want to squeeze our boobie’s, and that is NOT right.

    I had a nice lunch, but ate to much. I hope my Doctor’s appointment gets me fixed up with a Dr. quick, but my GP is about 70 year’s old. Mabye he has a son or nephew in Med School who want’s to date me? I hope so. I am running out of option’s with men. I would appreciate any help from the HIVE here also. YAY!!!

    • Internets :

      Ellen, have you thought about eharmoney? I met my wonderful husband there a few year ago. He was someone totally out of my usual typ and without the site I would not have met him!

  4. I work in biglaw (although for a more newly established and smaller firm in NYC). I am considering asking for some sort of flextime arrangement. My firm has no formal program like this, and I would be one of a very few associates with such an arrangement. Before I make any ask, I’m curious what type of programs more established firms have. How do they work? How many hours a month/a year are you billing? Is your salary reduced, or just your bonus? Any Information (or places to look for this Info, would be appreciated. Thanks in advance!

    • Anonymous :

      At my biglaw firm you can officially go down to 60%, meaning that you are intended to bill only 60% of our annual hours requirement. If you choose to go to 60% (or 80%, or whatever), you are paid 60% (or 80%, or whatever) of your annual salary. If you work more than you intended to work, you receive the extra salary, so (in theory) there is no downside to working reduced hours (except the stigma). I believe your bonus is pro-rated as well, although my firm is pretty stingy with bonuses and they aren’t a large percentage of anyone’s compensation, especially juniors and mid-levels. While I know a number of people who are officially on “flextime” most of them typically work (and earn) pretty much full-time. It’s very hard, especially in litigation, to actually be at a part-time schedule, from what I’ve seen. If you back off from things too much, partners won’t want you on their cases and you won’t be able to meet even your reduced hours, so you end up working largely a full-time schedule. Being flex does give them the flexibility to spend more time “working from home” when there are quieter periods, but to be honest a lot of non-flex people (me included) do that too. I haven’t really seen a big upside to the program, which is disappointing. But my experience is all thirdhand.

    • The main impression I’ve gotten from Biglaw friends regarding this is: it doesn’t actually help your day-to-day schedule predictability whatsoever. Working 80% doesn’t guarantee you a 9-5 and 60% doesn’t guarantee you a 9-3. You’re still expected to be available to jump at any time. Like Anon at 3:59, if you end up actually billing at a higher pay grade, you’re given the additional salary/bonus, so you can’t end up worse off financially.

      What it is good for: if you’ve had insane month(s), you can wait to ask for more work, and have a period where you’re billing 20 hrs/week without guilt.

      • Ditto this. My old law firm offered a part-time schedule (80% salary, and you were able to work 4x/week, of which one could be from home.) However, nearly all the female associates I know who took the part-time gig quickly reverted back to full-time because they found that they were still expected to be responding to email/available for calls on their day “off.”)

    • Need to Improve :

      Usually you choose a percentage; then your salary, bonus and hours requirement are all reduced to that percentage of their full time equivalent. Most firms have people at 60, 70, or 80. Some do 90, and I have heard of 50 percent once or twice but usually at that point you forfeit health benefits.

      What is the reason you are asking? Family reasons? I ask because most firms expect there to be some reason other than “I just want to work less.”

  5. Just a whine. Why is it so hard to rsvp no? I’m having a dinner party, and I honestly will not be upset if someone can’t come, but seriously, I’m cooking from scratch, spending $200 on food and wine, and inviting people into my home because I genuinely love to do it, but I feel like the least someone could say is, “Oh, I’m sorry, I have plans that night.” Because simply not replying at all to a text or FB message is just annoying. /vent

    • Anonymous :

      Yes, I share your pain. Experienced the same thing recently and have been trying to figure out why people do this. I can think of two reasons: (1) they meant to reply, but life got busy and they just forgot (understandable) or (2) they are holding out to see if a “better deal” comes along (rude).

      • Anonymous :

        I will add this in: spam filter; the stupid thing not letting you click on a box b/c your browser doesn’t talk to the app; trying to confirm a sitter / spouse’s schedule. Can be maddening. And I hate it (as guilty party and party-thrower). I keep trying to RSVP for something today (a YES) and I get some sort of error (and it our internal program for work and I’m doing it on a work computer).

    • Anonymous :

      Right? I’ve hosted exactly one dinner party in my life but was really irritating not knowing who was actually going to come. Same with trying to make a dinner or brunch plan, I need to make the reservation so for the love of god make a decision and stick to it!

    • Baconpancakes :

      I host a decent number of dinner parties, and this drives me nuts. I rotate my guest lists since I can’t host all my friends at one time, so if Friends Betty and Frank can’t come, I’d like to invite Friends Sam and Joanna. If Betty and Frank don’t RSVP no until Friday morning at 10, I’m left sitting at home alone with 5 lbs of mahi mahi in my fridge.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve taken to calling people to invite them to an event/party. I find that if people think the invitation is “individualized”they’re more likely to respond either on the call or shortly thereafter.

    • Anonymous :

      You only sent a text or FB invite? For me, For something like this I call and invite personally. Maybe I’m old fashioned….

      I actually dislike the generic blast invites and often ignore if I’m not invited personally. My good friends call.

      • Baconpancakes :

        What about a paperless post invitation? That’s my go-to because I love graphic design and stationary. I would honestly send legit paper invitations with rsvp cards if I thought people would actually use them to rsvp.

        • I throw parties a few times a year and find it really doesn’t matter what medium I use. When my friends were of that age, I used paper invites for engagement parties and such and loved doing it. The response rate was about the same as I find now with texts.

        • Anonymous :

          YMMV but I despise the e-mail blasts from sites like Evite. I’ve deleted enough of them that Gmail now sends it all to spam.

      • I don’t think I’ve ever spoken on the phone with any of these people. The only time I call a friend – other than my best friends for an hours-long life crisis – is for a “hey, are you here yet? Where should I park?” kind of thing. (My best friends live elsewhere, thus necessitating phone calls.) But local friends? Everything is done over text or FB message.

        I did reach out to everyone individually to invite them, just not by telephone or snail mail.

      • Anonymous :

        How is a text not inviting you personally? Why do we allow these sorts of excuses??? It’s just rude, plain and simple, not to respond.

    • Anonymous :

      If you’re sending out a mass invitation, like an evite or a facebook invite, people hate those. If they’re not replying to a text you send them individually within a day or two asking if they would like to attend, that’s rude, but you could maybe try saying to please let you know by X date so you can plan.

      • Anonymous :

        That’s ridiculous to say people hate evites. Just respond. You don’t like the medium? You’re still rude. It’s still an invitation. That doesn’t even make any sense.

        Ummm I only like engraved invitations, so your printed invitation is not worth my time to respond.

      • Yes, I do hate those convenient invitations that will allow me to place things on my outlook calendar with a single click. ;)

    • My work email blocks evite links and I often forget to try to respond when I’m home using my personal computer. If it’s a dinner party for 6 or 8 of course I will respond some other way. If it’s an open house where 100 people are invited I don’t worry too much about it to be honest.

    • This drives me nuts. Especially when I send an evite and can tell that the invitation has been viewed.

    • Little Red :

      I take a hard line on this issue. If they are good friends, I’d follow up with a phone call or something else. But I usually put a cut-off date for RSVPs and if someone doesn’t respond then that’s too bad. And if they develop a history of not RSVPing, they get cut from the list of potential guests for future parties.

  6. Anonymous :

    Jewelry/ gem lovers, would love some ideas.

    Through an estate I will be getting a large (2.8 carat) marquis diamond.

    The marquis cut in its traditional style as an engagement ring isn’t really my style. And I love my current set (center diamond with sapphire on each side).

    I also *think* that selling the diamond would a pennies on the dollar kind of thing.

    So, I’m trying to come up with ideas.

    Gals, if you were in my situation, what would you do?

    • A pendant? Set with smaller stones around it to mask its shape some.

      Save it for a child’s engagement and hope marquis cuts are back in style by then?

    • What if you turned the marquis on its “side” to make a ring or necklace? That orientation feels much more modern to me. Catherine Zeta Jones did that with her engagement ring and I’ve always liked it.

      • Anonymous :

        My thoughts right now are to do something on its side with an Art Deco kind of setting. But then, not sure.

        My college ring (which I wear) is not small and a pinky ring on my right hand. So would be thinking a middle finger ring.

        I am intrigued about a pendant idea.

        • Senior Attorney :

          If you wear pearls you could also do a charm (or whatever they call it) for your string of pearls.

          • Anonymous :

            Ooh, good idea.

          • Anonymous :

            “Enhancers” is the fancy jewelry term for that, I think.

          • I was thinking the same – a local jeweler could set the diamond into a clasp for the pearls, which you would wear to the side rather than in back.

            If I wore shorter necklaces I would probably have it set horizontally with a smaller round stone on each side (sapphires would be nice, keeping with the Art Deco style) and each side attached to a very fine white gold chain, total piece at the 16-18″ length.

            A good local jeweler who does design will have lots of ideas.

    • Reset into custom jewelry! What fun! A friend of mine inherited a ring with a strange pile of small rubies (best way to describe it). She took it to a custom jeweler who had the stones reset into a beautiful modern looking ring that is totally her style. Maybe turn it into a pendant?

    • Not sure if this is your style, but what about a version of something like this? http://www.bergdorfgoodman.com/Lana-Frosted-14k-Marquise-Opal-Necklace/prod105270051/p.prod?srccode=cii_13736960&cpncode=42-140045323-2&ecid=BGCIShoppingFeed

      • Anonymous :

        That’s fun! Starting to think a pendant might be the right direction…

        But one on a fixed chain like this one.

        Thank Ladies, I’m enjoying imagining pretty things…

    • anon-oh-no :

      I’d leave the marquis cut but add other stones around it to make an awesome [email protected]!l ring. But that’s me. I love a good [email protected]!l ring and don’t care for pendants.

  7. How much did your wedding cost?
    Where was it?
    How many guests?

    If you had to do it again, what would your splurge on and what would you scrimp on (or eliminate)?

    • Anon Chicago :

      $30k (rehearsal, ceremony, reception)
      Chicago
      161
      Same as I did: splurge on photography and food, scrimp on flowers (DiY/mail order) and dress (bought off the rack previous season’s dress)

      • another Chi-er :

        This is literally the same as us (maybe + or – 2 people) except that the 30k did not include the rehearsal dinner. We also didn’t quite splurge on the food and we did have a florist, but I absolutely didn’t spend big bucks on my dress. It’s one dress for one day!

      • Anon wedding :

        Same cost, got married at a combo hotel/event venue outside of NYC. Agree re: splurging on photography and food, and would also add alcohol and music to the list. Also a photo booth – while it was a “splurge” in the sense that it was something we didn’t need to spend on but chose to, for the relatively low cost, it was a huge hit with our guests.

        I spent on flowers and wished I’d scrimped. I didn’t feel like I “scrimped” on the dress, but compared to, say, an episode of “Say Yes to the Dress,” I spent a lot less and it might technically qualify as a “scrimp.” Also scrimp on favors, and choose something edible.

    • ~$50,000 (parents paid)
      Suburban Philadelphia
      ~150 guests

      Splurges for us were venue, food, drink, band, and photographer — basically, things that guests would really notice, and things that would last beyond the day.
      Saves were flowers (everything was local/in season), wedding party (we kept it small), dress (once I actually tried on dresses, I realized I vastly preferred simple sheath to giant ballgown, so we came in way under budget there), no cake, and no videographer.

      If I had to do it again — I LOVED our wedding day. I’d do my own makeup instead of using a pro a la Kate Middleton — I just wasn’t thrilled with it (despite a practice run) but there wasn’t time to re-do. I’d recommend “saving” on things that you actually don’t care as much about, as for example I had no pangs of regret regarding the lack of cake because I’m not a big dessert person to begin with.

      However, to be honest, if I were getting married now (as a 30 something rather than a just-starting-out young 20s) I would do a tiny destination wedding with about 10 people — our parents, brothers, best friends, and grandparents — and pay for all of their airfare with the savings from not having a huge party.

    • $10k, Deep South, 2006. It was an all day affair: noon wedding, lunch and dinner receptions for 125 people, band, fireworks. God bless the cheap south.

      I splurged on photos. I was stuck between Photog A, whose personality I loved and whose work was great but not amazing, and Photog B, around whom I felt uncomfortable but whose work was amazing. I went with A and always wished I had gone with B.

      We didn’t have a professional videographer, just a friend, and I’m glad we didn’t spend the money on a pro. Esp now in the era of iPhones, it’s just something I couldn’t see spending money on. Just take a moment to stop and think if after this is all over you’re REALLY going to watch $3k or however much worth of a movie of your day. Yes, it’s neat, but not $3,000 neat! I’d watch an iPhone video of it though :)

    • 5K
      Eloped at City Hall
      Costs were my dress, photography, hair/makeup & blow out dinner for 6 at a fancy restaurant after getting married.
      Looking back, I’d have spent less on my dress, but I’d change nothing else.

    • Mine will be this fall, but so far it’s looking like it will be about $32k (in DC). We splurged on food and venue (together those cost $24k!!). We looked for inexpensive versions of everything else – clothing, flowers, photographer, etc. Remains to be seen what I’d do differently!

    • Anonymous :

      About $15K, New England coast (not near a major city) in 2010. ~80 guests. Our biggest splurge was on photos ($3K) and unfortunately we don’t love them. We loved pretty much every other wedding our photographer has done, and she’s definitely very talented, she just didn’t really seem to have her brain on during our wedding and pretty much didn’t move, so we got 100 shots from the same angle in the ceremony (with my face in profile, which I don’t like) and she only photographed people that were on the dance floor during the reception, so approximately 50% of our wedding guests are in zero photos. I regret our choice of her specifically, but I don’t regret splurging on photos, since I think that’s the one of the most difficult things to find good quality on a small budget. We didn’t get a videographer, and I actually do kinda regret that. At the very least I should have asked a friend to take video on their phone during my dad’s speech.
      We also splurged on a venue right on the coast with beautiful views and excellent (but not cheap) food and that was a great decision.
      Pretty much everything else was done on a fairly strict budget and I have no regrets at all about purchasing a cheaper (<$1K) wedding dress, not having large centerpieces on the tables, not having a live band, having cheap invitations, programs and save the dates from Wedding Paper Divas, not buying my husband a tux, and not inviting a huge number of guests. We had the people we really cared about there (and it helped that we both have relatively small families).

      • +1 Photography: would have each table be photographed in some way, since about a quarter of our guests aren’t in any of the pictures.

    • $23,000
      Long Island
      80 people

      I’d pay more for my photography (at $5k, thought I was in the clear). Guy took 16(!) months to finish my 30-page wedding album. Likely because he was low on funds. Never again.

      Wouldn’t bother printing out programs, since only about 10 were used. Was happy I only spent $350 on a dress that fit off the rack (and I’m plus size). Was also happy I didn’t make favors/buy knickknacks so people would forget them or not take them (the centerpieces were large candy dishes for people to take what they wished).

      • Anonymous :

        No favors! Favors are a waste. Most get left on the table.

        I also think a DJ is a great option unless you can get like THE BEST band with lots of band members. I’ve heard lots of “cover” bands that are not that good. Only about two ever were worth the money.

        • My sister gave out sunglasses at her Hawaiian wedding (which I still stash and use everywhere), and my friend gave out gourmet cookies at hers, which were a lifesaver at 6am when I woke up hungover, so I think “useful” favors are totally worth it. :)

        • Anon for favors :

          On the subject of favors:

          We are having a small (50 person) wedding. I don’t want to give out favors because I can’t think of a damn thing that I could give my guests on the wedding day that would be meaningful, useful, or otherwise not end up in a trash bin or drawer gathering dust.

          However, I was thinking that, given the small headcount and provided my photographer gets enough great shots of all the attendees/groups of attendees, that I’d love to send a framed photograph to each “group” as a thank you/favor afterwards (ex: a photo of each couple, or each family – not individual photos unless individual attendees).

          Is this weird? Overkill? Awesome? Even including frames and postage, it would be <$500.

          • I did something similar (not framed, but I sent prints of photos to all guests who were in an official wedding photo) with the thank you letter. I got a TON of compliments about how thoughtful and appreciated it was, so I say go for it.

    • Around $23,000.
      LCOL city in the Midwest (church ceremony, reception was in a fancy barn designed to host events)
      Around 200 guests.

      We splurged on food and alcohol and got a good DJ (that actually did not cost us much) and I was happy with those choices. I scrimped on the photographer (more because it was important to my husband to hire a family friend than the price). Our photographs suck and I regret not insisting on a better photographer. I would have liked to scrimp more on paper products and flowers, but they were really important to my mom and my parents were paying for the wedding, so whatever.

    • City Hall :

      $15K, city hall in plus restaurant buyout in expensive city plus spending too much on photo albums I don’t really love. It still kind of baffles me that it added up to that much when it was a city hall wedding and I wore a $250 dress, but so it goes…I loved the day itself though!

    • Anonymous :

      Get your flowers from Costco. I had about 130 people at my wedding and spent a grand total of $280 dollars on flowers. I did have a good friend the day of bunch up the flowers for the bouquets and décor though.

    • heatherskib :

      $3,000 State Park Deep South. 2:00 but we fed everyone. I wish we would’ve splurged on a DJ. the music system we rented malfunctioned. Other than that it was a hometown DIY type shindig before they were cool. But we’re still happily married 8 years later. :)

    • $7K, small Southern city (we were both in grad school), 2011
      Church wedding, parish hall reception, 60 guests. Skimped on literally everything except for photography ($3K).
      If I were doing it again? I’d elope, and splurge on an amazing dress and photography. I *might* try to set up a way for friends/family to watch via skype. But it was horrible trying to manage everyone else’s expectations, emotions, and communication, and I never want to be in that position again. Everytime I remember anything wedding related, it’s through a haze of anxiety- throughout the entire planning process and the day itself I was worried sick about money and about hurting other people’s feelings.
      Absolute biggest regret: purchasing flowers wholesale and arranging them myself. It is *hard* to store 150 sunflowers for 3-4 days, and they make a huge mess!

    • Anonymous :

      About 30-35k
      Just north of NYC
      68

      We splurged on the venue (food/alcohol), photography, and items that we thought would make our guests feel more comfortable. We scrimped on flowers (relative to the rest of the budget), and we did a lot of paper products ourselves (had programs and certain other items designed on Etsy and printed them out ourselves).

      I would splurge on the same items, but there are other things that, with hindsight, I would have eliminated. I did not need the specific votive holders for the tables. The ones the venue provided would have been just fine. I did not need different table numbers. We gave an edible item as our favor, but we bought different cardboard boxes because I didn’t like the ones they came with (branded with the store’s name in these garish colors). These were all things that did not matter.

    • Sydney Bristow :

      About $13,000
      City in Oregon (not Portland)
      ~70 (150 invited… it was across the country for many of them)

      Nearly $4000 of that is our photography. They turned out fantastic and our photographers were great so I’d absolutely do that again.

      We saved on food by getting catering from a local BBQ restaurant where my sister used to work. It was totally cheap and ridiculously delicious. We also bought tulips in bulk and just had them very simply in vases as centerpieces and my friends put together my bouquet. Also skipped the dancing and DJ and went with a Spotify playlist. My brother designed the invitations/save the dates and my cousin made placecards, etc.

      Actually, I loved everything about our wedding. I’d do it exactly the same. I’d also make sure to eat more cotton candy (and put it in a better location because I think many guests forgot about it). And eat more leftover cake before we left on our honeymoon.

    • lucy stone :

      $12,000
      Suburban midwest
      175 guests, about 275 invited

      Splurged on food and booze (75% of our cost), scrimped on invitations (VistaPrint!) and flowers (Costco hydrangea centerpieces for all the tables)

      If I could do it again, I’d do it pretty similarly.

    • Eloped to Vegas, got married by an Elvis impersonator. $340 because we sprung for all the upgrades, like flowers I could keep that weren’t plastic.

      I still have the Visa receipt.

      Recommend highly. Marriage 16 years & going strong.

    • Anon for this because I feel like I'll be judged :

      $110K ALL in (so everything, dress, tux, rehearsal, venue, ceremony, etc.). Long Island, NY, at a hotel on the beach in Long Beach. 2015. About 200 guests attended. 250 invited.
      Splurge that was worth it – phenomenal band, great venue (which included a LOT of food, all alcohol, the cake).
      Saved (can I even say that?) – my dress was about half the budget I set by accident (just happened to be the dress I loved). Tried to save on flowers but it got a little crazy in the end. That was probably a disappointment since not everything was done the way we wanted it to be (or how it was described to us), despite us giving the last-minute ok to spend more money to do the things we wanted. No programs – got a program ‘board’ (like a poster at the entrance to the ceremony) printed through Etsy. Much cuter, cheaper, less waste.
      TBD – videographer. was a splurge but we LOVED the work he did. Haven’t seen the results yet.

      FWIW I’m so floored by the lower numbers. There were things that vastly increased costs that weren’t up to me (like a guest list about 70 people more than I wanted, thanks in-laws), but I still can barely imagine any sort of ‘typical’ wedding (which would iwould say would include a sizeable amount of attendees, a rented venue and catering) for under $50K in the areas immediately surrounding NYC.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        That’s why we decided not to get married here. We couldn’t figure out how to do something we wanted for less than $20k. I was up for a morning ceremony in the park and bagels/juice/etc but that seemed weirdly complicated.

      • FWIW, I’m getting married this year and planning to spend $30K-ish. I don’t think your number is outlandish. And, unless you spent my money, I don’t care :)

      • Also Anon Because Judgment :

        65 people; $60k; winery in Napa Valley.
        Splurge – venue, photography/videography, and food (basically anything that would enhance our guests experience or would be a keepsake post-wedding)
        Saved – my dress (I ended up spending less than half of what I had budgeted because I fell in love with a less expensive option), no guestbook or favors (unless you count the fact that we sent everyone home with extra wine), and decor (aside from minimal flowers, our venue was so pretty we didn’t need anything)

        Sometimes I can’t believe we spent so much on our wedding (more when you include rings and honeymoon, technically), but it was also perfect and I’m so happy we had the wedding we did.

      • Did awesome wedding, 125 people, church, reception, full dinner, DJ etc. $28k in NYC. Just wasn’t fancy.

    • $10k
      Country church (ceremony) and old theatre (reception)
      90 people (invited 110)

      I don’t think that I’d eliminate anything, but at $10k, we’d already eliminated a lot. I think the best money we spent was on attire for all the bridesmaids/groomsmen so it didn’t cost our loved ones money to be in our wedding, and the open bar. If I were doing it again now, I’d spend more on my dress because I ended up buying my dress because it looked fine and was $300 and looking back wish I had worn something I really loved, but it was the right decision at the time.

    • Blue ink pens :

      $30k

      Church (ceremony) and country club (reception)
      150 attendees

      Regarding “splurge” — certain things (food, flowers, photographer) are almost always going to be the big chunks of the budget. The one thing that we chose to allocate more of our funds to, meaning — our “splurge” — was to pay for a nice country club to do the reception and food. They took care of everything related to the reception, meaning that we didn’t have to worry about a thing. Sure, we could have gotten into all of the details and brought in special chairs and napkins and all, but instead my mom and I just used what the Club already had. And during the actual event, they made sure everything ran smoothly and everyone was happy. That was money that was very, very well spent.

      We saved a lot of money getting flowers from Costco. I think the total flowers were under $200, and they were gorgeous and very fresh, delivered right to us.

      We also saved money on a cake and the little gift bags by doing a cookie table instead. Family members all love to help with this, so we ended up with over ten thousand cookies – most which were “donated” by our family. Those served as the main dessert and guests could take with them. We also had a small cutting cake.

      This isn’t really a money-saving tip, but my mom gave me wonderful advice about wedding dresses (and bridesmaids’ dresses) — DON’T GET SATIN. It will be wrinkled before you even walk down the aisle. So in those pictures that you paid thousands of dollars for? You’re all wrinkled! This was really good advice. And I’ll add that I think getting a more “classic” wedding dress that isn’t something to go out of style makes it a better buy. But that’s just my opinion, and everyone should get a wedding dress that she loves!

    • $7k
      75 people
      Florida

      If I had to do it over again, I would do it even smaller.

  8. Anonymous :

    I purchased a lovely Ralph Lauren dress that had been linked in the comments (it’s navy with sequins and lace) a few months ago. The arm holes, while they technically fit, are just a big snug for me to find comfortable. I lift so my back and shoulders and upper arms are a bit broader than a normal fit (I have trouble with blazer sleeves, too). I don’t see any reason I couldn’t have a seamstress just make them a tiny bit bigger by cutting in to the armpit of the dress, but has anybody ever had this done?

    Also, recommendations for a tailor, preferably in NoVa/Arlington but also will consider DC?

    (Other than that, it is a BEAUTIFUL dress, fits perfectly and I cannot wait to wear it)

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve done this to several tops that I own – ripping the stitches out in the seam a bit and restitching it so the armholes are slightly larger.. It will depend on how the dress is seamed, but probably it would not be very difficult.

    • Stitching (and then trimming) the armhole so it is a little bit deeper is supposed to be a pretty easy fix (according to a more experienced sewer I know, though I haven’t had to do that fix myself).

      It will correct a seam that is digging into your armpit because the armhole is cut too high, but won’t correct any tightness widthwise thru the shoulders and won’t fix tightness in the sleeve itself. If the sleeves are sheer lace (no lining) you may need to be careful about how the seam is finished, but I think it should be doable.

    • Wildkitten :

      The Loftons in DC.

  9. Deadlines :

    For those with high volume practices, what is your system for keeping up with important deadlines? I’m talking deadlines that can’t be fixed if you miss them, like a limitation date. Do you rely on your BF system? Your assistant? Team meetings? Please lend me your ideas.

    • AnonInfinity :

      I don’t have a high volume practice, but we have a calendar system at my firm where we get sheets with our deadlines every day. If there’s a particularly important deadline, I’ll ask my secretary and paralegal to bug me about it if they haven’t heard anything.

    • I write all filing deadlines in my old school paper planner. It’s just easier for me to see the week ahead on paper.

    • I do calendar reminders for the day of and then also a couple days before (can vary depending on how long the task takes). I also look to my team to highlight the deadlines to me.

  10. ObviouslyAnon :

    How do you know when it is time to leave your biglaw firm for another firm? Here is my situation: I’m at a huge firm in a top practice group, midlevel. I like my work but I got a mediocre performance review despite killing it on the hours front (2600+). I don’t seem to have been “chosen” like some other people in my group and don’t have any mentors. People are not approachable so it’s not as simple as “work to find a mentor”. But it’s a top practice. My goal is to make partner somewhere in the city I am living in currently.

    I talked to a recruiter who suggested a bunch of firms that don’t excite me and frankly are not in the league I am looking for.

    TLDR I don’t hate it and hate to leave the excellent training but obviously am not going to make partner and don’t have mentors. Do I need to leave now? Or is it OK to lateral as a 5th or 6th year?

    • Anonymous :

      I’d go now. It’s certainly not impossible to lateral as a 5th or 6th year, but you might have to add some time to the partnership clock. A mediocre performance review at your level is a pretty clear “look elsewhere” sign, especially if you don’t have mentors looking out for you.

      • +1. Leave now so you have a few years to build up relationships at your next firm. In my experience, making partner is often a very politicized process. Even highly-regarded associates working tons of hours can get passed over if they do not have the right partners in their corner. It sounds like you consider your current practice group to be a nonstarter on that front.

        I would also reconsider the firms the recruiter suggested. It doesn’t hurt to interview. You might really click with one group or discover that one of those firms is looking to beef up its group in your area of expertise, providing lots of opportunities for you to shine.

    • Anonymous :

      It’s find to lateral as a 5th or 6th year. Start looking now, while you have the luxury of taking your time to find a good fit. If you want to make partner think a lot harder about the right caliber of firm for you. Aiming for the top firm is going to make actually making partner much more difficult.

    • Anonymous :

      Start looking now. As a mid-level you are still fungible and don’t need to come with a book of business. I have been in your shoes having not been “chosen” and it is a frustrating slog. That said, it doesn’t seem like the firm is (as of yet) in a rush to push you out, so I think you have time to be choosy. Explore your options, and don’t necessarily speak with just one recruiter.

    • Anywhere you go, you’re going to need to bring in business to make partner (or have a partner willing to attribute business credits to you). If your goal is partner, you need to focus on building a client base (I know – easier said than done!) instead of jumping firms to solve the problem.

    • Need to Improve :

      Go now before it’s too late to lateral to a firm.

      You can do it as a 5th year or a 6th year. Most firms want a three-year look before they make you partner.
      NEGOTIATE your partnership eligibility date at the new firm IN ADVANCE and hustle when you get there to get friends, mentors, allies, etc.

    • You might not see this because I’m replying so late, but here goes: before you jump firms, try talking to one of the “unapproachable” partners and saying that you’re very interested in making partner yourself. Ask for more specifics about what you can do to make that happen. The conversation might achieve nothing, but it might actually help. Most big firms expect a certain percentage of the associates to go elsewhere by choice, and the partners in your group might be assuming that you want to go in house, etc. and they aren’t investing in you. In addition to the other recommendations, make sure you’re keeping in touch with more senior associates who are moving on to other firms or in house positions because they can be very helpful in sussing out new positions.

  11. Anonymous :

    Setting up a home office. Room looks large and empty. I currently have a desk, a short bookshelf for no books, a tall bookshelf for books and a filing cabinet. Ideas? Husband said tall plants

    • Anonymous :

      Rugs? Wall decor will make it less empty. Depending on the size of the room, maybe a chair and footstool you can sit in when reviewing paperwork on on a call?

      • Senior Attorney :

        Or even a sofa with coffee table. And of course a TV…

        • Definitely agree that wall decor will do more than you might think. Maybe a few large, framed photographs (nature scenes, abstract, whatever). I also like large plants and you could do something like a dracana that is easy to take care of and has some visual interest. Depending on the room, you could potentially do something like a small citrus tree.

  12. Wedding registry :

    I am a 50 year old first time bride and my fiance is also 50 and previously married. Some of my fiance family and a couple of my friends are asking about the registry. I didn’t plan on doing one as at 50, there is nothing we really
    need, as we are combining two households into one.

    Thoughts?

    • heatherskib :

      Suggest donations to a favorite charity? Or if you own a home or are buying one together Lowes and Home depot both offer wedding registries.

      Some honeymoon registries are a big deal, but they always felt a bit awkward to me.

    • Congratulations…and have a wonderful life ahead.

      For registry, you can probably tell them that you don’t need anything, but if they wish, they can donate the same money to a cause that is close to your heart.

    • Senior Attorney :

      I’d say “we have everything we need but one can never have all the wine one needs.” But that’s just me…

      Hmmm. I wonder if a wine store would let you register. If I ever get married again I am totally doing that!

      • Senior Attorney :

        Or you could register for upgrades of things you already have. I don’t think anyone would begrudge a first-time bride of any age a bridal registry, especially if you only tell people who ask.

        • Respectfully disagree with senior attorney. The 35+ set has no business registering for wine or housewares or anything else (don’t even get me started on these honeymoon registries!) Maybe it’s ageist but I think there’s no way of disguising the gift grab. FWIW I am in the over the hill set.

          • Anonymous :

            Ummm some of us are 36 and still don’t have a set of china, or everyday dishes, or guest towels. There’s no magic age when registering becomes inappropriate.

          • @ anonymous, I don’t think it’s about what you have and what you don’t. It’s about the appropriateness of people who are not “just getting started” essentially asking for gifts. I know you disagree with my position, it’s just my view. I’m also over 35, unmarried, and don’t own china, FWiw.

          • Anonymous :

            1. I thought the invitation was the “gift grab” not the existence of the registry /sarcasm/

            2. Why is 35 the magical cut off? Isn’t someone 28 or 32 or 30 already “started”? Why should they be “allowed” to have a registry, when 35 doesn’t? And what if the bride and groom are straddling this cut off? Am I only allowed to get half a registry gift?

          • This is obviously a sensitive topic for you. Is it so important to receive gifts? Look, do as you wish. But some people will give you the side-eye.

          • Anonymous :

            @disagree. You’re wrong and mean.

          • Senior Attorney :

            And… I was wrong. Apparently there are people who begrudge a first-time (but apparently past-her-use-by-date) bride a registry to give to those who specifically ask for such information.

            I stand sadly corrected.

          • I don’t get why I gave expensive presents to all my extremely well-off 28-35 young professional couple friends but am not supposed to give anything to less well-off family members (for instance) who happened not to get married young.

          • Um, what? :

            First-time bride. My fiancé and I will both be 36 when we get married. We’re having a small wedding by preference, so our registry will likely be small as well, but we’ll have one. Because it is our f-ing wedding and we get to do what we want :)

          • Also, people are asking her about registries so they can gift things they know she and hubby will appreciate.. She’s not insisting that people hand out where she’s registered at. I think that’s the key thing here.

    • Anonymous :

      You don’t need a registry. Truly. Especially not something tacky like a honeymoon registry where you are basically just asking people for money. When people ask, give them the ‘your presence is our present’ spiel.

      • If people are asking them about the registry, it is because those people *want* to buy them a gift. And they want to buy them a gift that the couple will like and use. In that circumstance, there is nothing tacky about telling guests to ask that while they don’t need to get anything, there is such-and-such honeymoon fund. Don’t gratuitously post the honeyfund all over your invitations or anything, but that’s not an issue here.

        • Senior Attorney :

          This. I actually happen to love my friends and am happy to buy them gifts for their weddings. (Even though some of them are past 50 and even though at this point first weddings are few and far between!) And it’s nice to have a registry so I know the gifts are something they will use and enjoy.

          • Senior Attorney :

            Although I’ll admit I like the actual registry more than the fund-my-homeymoon thing, which mercifully has not caught on in my circles.

        • Anonymous :

          It actually is horribly gauche to say “we don’t need anything but please give us cash.” any age first time bride and groom should absolutely make a registry if they want, but weddings and wedding presents existed for years and years without registries. Feel free to skip if you want! (we did) We got a mix of cash, pretty picture frames, some art, gift cards to great restaurants, some bowls, and promises to go out to dinner to celebrate.

        • We didn’t start out with a registry and this was truly horrifying for some older relatives and adopted ‘aunties’. When I discovered they were giving my mom money to ‘slip me’ for the honeymoon and calling the venue to buyout our bar tab and inquiring about buying me a briefcase for work, I realised that for a certain generation there is a ‘pay it forward’ element that exists regardless of the fact brides these days are more likely to be established and by not having a registry I was making life hard for some lovely people I’m very fond of. I found a couple of things (upgrade Target mugs, fancy oils/herbs, family beach kit, actual picnic basket set) that I wouldn’t have spent money on but were not bank-breaking extravagant. People who asked were given details by mom and MOH (and I try to remember to send them printed photos of my instant family using them eg. annual beach holiday). Of course I was 31 so I was under the magic cutoff by DH wasn’t so maybe I should send half back?

    • Anonymous :

      “We have everything we need and all we want is to celebrate with you.”

    • Anonymous :

      Recently got married and in a very similar situation. We did not register. Most people were fine when we told them we have everything we need and had not registered. A few people insisted on giving gifts, which is inevitable. As we had an extremely small wedding with only immediate family, I think the gift issue was reduced. If we had had a larger wedding, I might have done the charity registry.

      Another option is to tell people that rather than a gift, you’d rather have dinner with them to celebrate some time after your honeymoon. Time is our most valuable asset and I’d rather have dinner with friends than another picture frame.

    • cinnamon gelato :

      I was in a similar situation and just told people that we don’t need anything. Really. Truly. Most people took us at our word (some after following up a few times), a few gave cash or checks (which we applied to wedding and honeymoon expenses), and a few people gave things like bottles of wine and champagne. Three guests brought us actual gifts, and they were close friends who knew us well enough that the gifts were well chosen.

    • If you really don’t want stuff (we didn’t either) suggest a charity.

      We said something like “No presents, just your presence. If you feel strongly, please give to Children’s hospital in memory of *family member who passed away* “. (Our invitations were really casual)

      We still got some gifts (a couple of which we actually liked) buy Children’s Hospital made a few thousand off our wedding, which we really appreciated.

  13. Wedding registry :

    Thank you for the idea re donation to favorite charity as both of us contribute to the American Cancer Society.

    I also like the wine idea but won’t do it, :-)

    Thanks!

    • Senior Attorney :

      I probably (certainly!) wouldn’t do it, either. It just popped into my head as I was posting. But it’s fun to fantasize about, isn’t it?

  14. I’m really late in the day posting this, but if anyone has any last minute advice, I would appreciate it! I just arrived in DC where I am attending a conference tomorrow. I’m from the South, so have no idea how to handle the snow and slush. I borrowed a pair of Hunters from a friend, but if I wear those to walk to the conference, then how do I store them and switch shoes for the day? Any ideas? I can’t imagine walking several blocks in just tights and wedges.

    • Northeasterner :

      Wear the boots, bring your shoes in your bag. Dunno where your conference is, but most places have a coat check or coat closet where you can leave your boots. Definitely don’t try to get through in the wedges – you don’t want to slip and fall!

    • Anonymous :

      Thanks to both of you! There was a very large coat rack and a couple of people had left boots there, so I wasn’t alone (and much happier during my walk).

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