Thursday’s Workwear Report: Sunburst Sheath Dress

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This sunburst sheath dress from Calvin Klein has been around for at least 10 years, and right now Macy’s has it in six colors in sizes 2–16. It’s got a ton of really good reviews, although some note that the fabric is more of a heavyweight ponte whereas a year ago it was more of a wool. It’s $89 full price, with the royal blue at $79 — and with promo code WKND you can get an extra 15% off the sale color. Lord & Taylor has a few colors of the dress, as does Amazon (some as low as $50!); Macy’s also has it in petites and plus sizes. Sunburst Sheath Dress

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Comments

  1. Signing Petitions :

    Question about the value of signing petitions.

    After the election I set up a recurring donation to the ACLU. I now get regular emails from them and one of the frequent asks is to add your name to a petition – travel ban, health care, yesterday the thing on banning transgender people from serving in the military. I absolutely agree with the ACLU’s position on these issues, but it makes me wonder – is this really effective? It seems like an ACLU petition on one of these issues would just be like white noise. Everybody knows how they feel about all of these things, and I guess I feel like adding my name to petition after petition isn’t really meaningful. I support the ACLU and think the work they do is extremely important, especially right now. But I’m just wondering about the frequent asks for just adding my name to a petition.

    • This is why I learned from DAD never to give my name out on petition’s or join groups, OTHER then the Bar Association and my yoga group. Dad told me there are so many organizations that will bother you once they know you are out there and have a position. So, for example, even though I beleive in PETA, I am NOT going to go out there and hug a tree, or get into a boat to stop a boat from fishing in the Long Island Sound b/c they may be damaging to the flora and fawna of the Sound. There are other groups that can pester the life out of you, dad says, so at my apartement, they wanted me to be on the BOARD b/c I know all about the law, so I could do free legal work for them. FOOEY! If I can NOT bill for my legal expertize, then I will NOT do ANY legal work for ANYONE. It is bad enough that I have to do PROBONO for the manageing partner, but he considers me doing his POWERPOINT slides for the Bar Associaiton as fulfilling my ethical duty b/c I do NOT get to bill for it. I just wish I would be able to find canned presentations on the web that I could just copy for the manageing partner, b/c I am NOT an expert on anything other then WC. Sorry about the RANT, but I just wish I could find a nice guy to MARRY me so that I can stop all of this nonsense! FOOEY!

  2. For all those wanting “nice” shirts to wear with jeans at casual workplaces,

    I think the Talbots is on its game this season: https://www.talbots.com/online/blouses-and-shirts/_/N-10157

    The portrait collar shirt would be pretty!

    • Anonymous :

      Thanks! I was one of them. I do like these colors.

    • I meant to reply to that. I also work in a casual office. I have a “uniform”

      I have three pairs of these pants (black, gray and navy) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00TZY15WO/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o06_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
      These shoes in black and a similar pair in brown
      https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01NABKJL6/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
      My favorite jeans
      https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01MXU04Y2/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o00_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
      I have this shirt in lots of colors
      https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M9A7C2P/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o02_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
      Today I’m wearing that shirt with this cardigan, I have gray, rose and black and white stripe
      https://www.target.com/p/women-s-short-sleeve-crewneck-jersey-cardigan-merona-153/-/A-51699373#lnk=sametab&preselect=51525834

    • Veronica Mars :

      Thanks! I’ll have to stop in. I have a gift card to use up!

    • That’s so funny you mentioned Talbots. I just bought some dresses and blazers to wear to the law firm from them. Their styling and quality really is on point this season. Unfortunately, the smallest size they offer (size 2) is still way too big. It’s much bigger compared to the size 2/size 0 at Jcrew and Banana Republic. I’m hoping they’ll start offering a smaller size, even if only on line.

      • They recently changed their sizing (everything is bigger), so I doubt they’ll go back. Alas.

  3. Baby Shower :

    My oldest friend is pregnant and is having a baby shower in a couple of weeks. I want to spend about $200 – maybe split between a present for her and a present for the baby. She has a registry, but I was also wondering if you have ideas about baby shower gifts. Her registry is mostly centered around the baby, apart from a request for pre- and post-natal yoga classes and a fund for baby photos.

    TIA!

    • Anonymous :

      Buy off the registry.

    • Anonymous :

      I would get something from her registry and something meaningful from your childhoods. Is there a book that you both loved as kids/teenagers? Maybe a nice hardcover version of that?

      • Agreed! I buy off the registry and then depending on how close I am to the person, buy a copy of The Velveteen Rabbit. They sell it in a gift set with an actual stuffed rabbit as well.

        • I have never read The Velveteen Rabbit to my kids. I don’t own it because I am 100% sure I would not get through it without crying. But I love that book so much. My SIL actually had a passage from it on the back of her wedding program. So great.

        • I usually get a Shel Silverstein collection of poems (Light in the Attic, where the sidewalk ends). Kiddo can grow into it, and parents get something fun to read while kiddo is really only interested in the sound of their voice.

      • Agree with this.

      • +1. Spend most of your budget on a registry gift and then get something small and sentimental like a favorite book or a baby memory book.

      • Adding that another option is to have something made. My sister in law had one of DH’s old baby blankets made into a teddy bear for our little baby. Your BFF”s parents might have something they would give you for that purpose. If you google baby clothes mementos or baby blanket stuffies you’ll probably find someone in your area that does it – or try etsy.

    • Anonymous :

      Fund the baby photos. You could contact the photographer too and see if they do an add on package for milestone pictures. I wish somebody had got me that! Some of the bigger ticket items on registries tend to be car seats and strollers.

    • Clementine :

      I am total team ‘buy off the registry plus a sentimental gift.’ I love love love the stuffed animals from Hazel Village, monogrammed with baby’s name. They’re pricey but lovely. We got one as a gift and it is a much loved bedtime companion.

    • Shopaholic :

      I got one of my best friends something off the registry, plus a book for her that I knew she would love (to read while she was on mat leave) and a book for the baby that would be meaningful to her.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      She might have something that she sort of really wants but doesn’t want to ask for on the registry — if you get to talking baby prep with her you might be able to find that. Or like, if she has a theme/vision for the nursery, you could get art/bedsheets/etc. that goes with it — like I would love vintage-style travel posters from [cities important to me and to baby’s history], or more linens in the colors I knew I wanted in her room, etc.

      My favorite kids book is If You’re Afraid of the Dark, Remember the Night Rainbow, in case you’re looking for something weird and whimsical (that won’t make you cry like Velveteen Rabbit!)

    • If the baby is going to be born in 2017, I would get a large gift off of the registry and then get a 2017 Silver Dollar as a keepsake.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      Buy off the registry or give $ (unless you think the recipient would find this tacky). Not sure I necessarily agree with the sentimental gift. If your friend is someone who you think would be into that kind of stuff go for it. But sometimes well-meaning sentimental gifts just amount to clutter/not having a use for it.

  4. Baconpancakes :

    Following up on the tote post yesterday, does anyone know of any good olive-colored totes? I love the OMG for the color and shape, but have been convinced it might not be polished enough.

    • I have the OMG in the olive color and love it! I think perhaps youre looking for a leather bag if you want something more polished? Fossil has great leather bags – heres a tote that comes in olive you might want to look at https://www.fossil.com/us/en/products/rachel-tote-sku-zb6817382c.html

    • The S-Zone tote she linked has a really pretty olive. I had ordered it in a different style (but same brand) and really liked it, but it didn’t fit my laptop. https://www.amazon.com/S-ZONE-Vintage-Genuine-Leather-Shoulder/dp/B072B9SW1H?th=1

    • Depending on your preferred shade of olive, the Victorinox Charisma tote comes in ‘laurel green’ – which happens to be on sale on eBags. https://www.ebags.com/product/victorinox/charisma-work-tote/284166

    • Baconpancakes :

      These are great! Mostly I was worried about the OMG being floppy, like a sack bag, because I’d heard mixed reviews. Now I’m looking at the olive bags and rethinking my decision – might as well get a huge bag like the OG to use at the gym/for travel since an olive bag is never going to look as formal as a black one, no matter what it’s made out of.

      • I have the OMG in the brown color and it’s pretty sturdy. The material has some give so you can cram a ton of stuff into it (I can fit my gym shoes, workout clothes, water bottle, coffee thermos, lunch, and wallet), but holds the dome shape well.

        I picked brown because I didn’t want it to be as severe as black, but I think it still looks pretty formal and work appropriate. I think the olive would have a similar effect. FWIW, I get compliments on the OMG weekly from professional ladies in all settings (airport, bus, conferences, etc.), so I think it comes across as put together/polished even though it’s a nylon material.

      • I actually ended up using my OMG bag as a gym/weekend trip bag instead of one of work – to be honest I think its better suited for that than a work bag.

        Also FYI the OMG bag is pretty huge in person imo…

        • I find the OMG to be pretty standard for work-bag size for me. The OG is a BIG bag that I don’t usually use for every day work (but I know people who do if they’re also bringing pumping supplies/gym clothes/etc. regularly).

    • Anonymous :

      I use the Lo and Sons TT in olive as my primary work bag and love it! It’s structured enough to stand up on it’s own and the internal pockets are exactly what I need. Traveling with it is also awesome, though it just barely fits under the seat in front of me. It’s small enough to take to lunch with me if needed without looking like a laptop bag.

      The olive is an older color. It looks like it’s not an option on the site right now. It was a sale color when I bought it 2 years ago… still going strong.

  5. brokentoe :

    So excited to head to NYC this weekend for the Classic East concert at Citi Field: the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Doobie Brothers, Journey, Earth, Wind and Fire and Steeley Dan on Saturday and Sunday evenings with DH and DD. Haven’t been to an event like this in years – what does a 50+ ‘r e t t e wear to something like this?

    • Cornellian :

      I feel like this could be a question for amidprivilege. I’m not sure lisa posts here anymore, but her blog is up!

    • Anonymous :

      Jeans, flats, colorful, festive blouse.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      That sounds so *amazing*. If I could be one person for a week, it would have been Stevie Nicks in the 70s – she is my spirit animal.

    • Jeans, concert tee, long shirt or cardigan that can be tied around the waist, comfortable flats.

      I like a concert tee with the neckband cut out. Not too oversized.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Oh gosh, I wouldn’t wear jeans — won’t you be too hot? I’d wear a summery dress with a cardigan to put on at night, and flat shoes.

      • Looks like rain and wet jeans are the worst. How about some cute shorts and a linen top? I’d wear sneakers because city juice is not something I enjoy on my feet, and bring a windbreaker/light rain coat.

  6. Blonde Lawyer :

    I have this dress from a few years ago in a lighter blue. It is very nice but VERY form fitting.

    • This would fill a wardrobe gap for me, but I’m concerned about how closely it fits. Do you think sizing up would help?

      • JuniorMinion :

        I have a couple of these and I think it depends on where it is tight on you. If it is tight up on top only or you are a narrower frame sizing up might help. For me, I have a large chest / larger posterior and narrower waist so sizing up just seems to make me look like I’m wearing a paper bag. I’ve just had to embrace form fitting garments because otherwise I feel like I look schlumpy….

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        There is stretch in it too. I’d say go up a size if you are cusp sized or vacillate between different sizes based on brand. If you are always an X though, I wouldn’t buy X +1.

      • I think you have to buy 1 size up if you worry about the form-fit. I know that with my tuchus, I buy a size 2, rather then attempt to wear a size 0 because all that does is make me look like someone with a shelf. Some men like that, but it makes me look cheap. And that is the last thing I need at this point in my life, as there are enough men that just want s-x, but I am SOOOO beyond that. FOOEY!

    • I have this dress in black and maroon bought last year so I think the fabric composition is still the same. I’m a pear and bought one size up from my usual Ann Taylor size. It clings a bit over my backside but not that much. To the extent I’m self conscious about it Spanx fixes the problem. With a jacket its probably one of my two favorite fall dresses.

      • May I ask, how pear shaped are you?

        I am a pear, but dresses never fit me. I am about 2-3 sizes smaller on top than on the bottom. But sometimes stretchy Calvin Klein does work …. but maybe too body con in the rear for work.

        • I’m an 8-10 on top and a 12-14 on bottom. I have this dress in a 14. I think it would look better if I took in the top (which would be a simple alteration) but I’m just lazy. For me it has a enough stretch to work and my hips are both wide and my backside sticks out.

  7. British Brands :

    I’ve been hearing about several British workwear brands (Boden, Hobbs, Reiss, etc) that look lovely from the website. Any firsthand knowledge about how their sizing compares to some of the traditional US workwear retailers (Ann Taylor, J Crew, Talbots, etc)?

    • Anonymous :

      For Boden I would look at their sizing chart to find your size. I used it and found it very accurate (whereas I don’t find AT’s sizing chart as accurate).

      • Boden customer service is pretty good – I’ve emailed them for garment measurements and they got back to me right away.

    • I agree that Boden’s sizing chart is pretty accurate. (I have a straight body type and wear a US 4/6 and a UK 10.) Keep in mind that, as with US clothing, not all brands will fit your body type.

    • I find in general European brands are a lot less generous with sizing than American.

      • AnglophileAnon :

        Most of my work dresses are from Boden, Marks & Spencer, and Next. I’ve actually found Boden’s sizing to be pretty generous and I’m consistently my lowest size in their dresses. (I’m curvy/muscular and range between a US12-16 depending on whether the designers left room for T&A.) For Marks & Spencer and Next I have a mix of UK 16 and 18 (US 12-14).

        I really love British brand’s necklines. American brands like J. Crew and Banana produce all these work-wear fabric/style dresses that reveal like 4 inches of cl3avage. It’s ridiculously unhelpful. British brands have figured out the work appropriate v-neck and slight-scoop neck.

    • Boden is small compared to most British shops.

    • I’m a 0 in J. Crew, 25/26 and 0-2 elsewhere, and I’m a solid 4 in Boden. 5’6″ around 115. I love Boden dresses for work and am wearing the Portia now:).

      • You’re my hero. Those are my exact measurements. Thanks!

      • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

        Similar measurement here, but just stretched out to 5’11”. I never ordered from Boden ebcause they don’t ahve talls in 0, but now I might try a 2 or 4. Thanks!

    • I regularly shop these brands as I find that the quality is consistently better than US brands. Sizing for Boden is TTS, Reiss runs about one-half size to a full size small (I am US 4/6 and always a UK10/US 6 in Reiss). Hobbs is mostly TTS. Reiss is cut for a younger woman, so jacket shoulders and arms are narrower and their skirts and dresses run slimmer. Hobbs is cut for a more mature woman, so the jacket shoulders and sleeves and hips tend to be cut more generously. You can buy Reiss and Hobbs from Bloomingdales now!

    • I find that Reiss runs really small in the hip, especially. TTS in the bust, and maybe a smidge big in the waist. It’s not cut well for a curvy figure.

    • This is late, but I’m an American in London so have recent experience! I’m usually a 2-4 in US sizes but am an 8 (on top) and a 10 (on bottom) in Hobbs and Reiss. I’m wearing an LK Bennet dress right now in a 10. I’m 5’5″, 125 lbs.

    • I’m a 4 at Banana republic and just bought a bunch of Hobbs dresses in size 10. I probably could have used an 8 in the knit styles, but they work.

  8. Wrap dresses :

    I’m putting together a fall capsule (project 333!) and had one of these on my list. They strick the pecfect balance between comfort and polish for me and I feel great in them. Snagged a cute one yesterday that I love and think I’ll wear a ton. But, I did notice that even dvf isn’t selling them. Can I wear this? I understand it’s not trendy, but can it fall into the “personal style” category ? Thanks!

    • I think they are a classic shape, never out of style. The fabric, pattern, length, cut, sleeve length, etc. are what make them in/out at a given time, imho.

    • DVF is definitely still selling wrap dresses. They’re timeless.

  9. Citron Skirt-er :

    Soooo I bought the citron green skirt from the tahari sale on an impulse (i mean that price!) and now i am really at a loss as to how to wear it and what to wear it with. Any ideas hive? I am an apple shape so most of my weight is in the chest, tummy area, but generally curvy, and on the shorter side. It is non-returnable so now I have to find a way to wear it!

    • I came so close to buying that skirt! I’m a pear, but I’d wear it with a grey short-sleeved blouse tucked in and silver jewelry. I tried to find a comparable blouse to link, but I got mine at Nordstrom 2-3 years ago and didn’t see anything similar on the Nordstrom site now.

    • I think citron is a little harsh to wear with black but goes well with white, and most shades of blue:
      -a white blazer, and simple white shell, with nude shoes
      -a crisp white button down, navy or nude shoes
      -a navy tshirt, tucked in, with a tortoise link necklace, nude or tortoise shoes
      -a chambray shirt
      -a white tshirt, denim jacket, and supergas or other flat white sneakers

    • Youlookfab has some citron-based ensembles. For example: https://youlookfab.com/2017/05/26/ensemble-white-blue-seafoam-citron/. Your skirt sounds lovely!

      • pugsnbourbon :

        It’s wildly unnecessary for my budget and lifestyle, but I’m in love with the jacket featured on that link.

    • You might check out youlookfab. Citron is one of Angie’s favorite colors and she wears it a lot. Maybe use her pics for inspiration.

      I looked at that skirt too and just figured i would have orphan skirt syndrome! Another thought – did Tahari make coordinates to go with it? Even if the website doesn’t have them anymore, department stores might still, or check eBay.

      • The link from Green made me think of this outfit:

        White cotton sleeveless top
        Citron skirt
        Denim jacket

        This would be a cute casual Friday look. I also like the idea of a navy blazer in place of the denim jacket for more formal days. But I think the denim jacket look sounds cuter.

    • I did the same :

      Some of you are surely smarter than me! I am now afraid it is too fancy for my casuals and too casual for work! May be if i wear it with allll black in winter I can still wear it to a meeting!

      • Definitely not too casual for work, if you aren’t 100% business professional! If your office is dressier business casual, this would work with a navy blazer, white button-down, and nude heels.

    • For this, Anon :

      I have something similar and I wear it with grey, cream and white. I always get compliments when I wear it! ( I bought it at target years ago!)

  10. Veronica Mars :

    I remember someone on this site has a beautiful, acid green velvet couch and they posted the link. I can’t find it for the life of me. Does someone remember?

  11. Any recs for a good drugstore lipstick for special events that actually stays in place for several hours? I’m normally a tinted balm kind of gal, but for some occasions, I want something that will glue to my lips and look good for photos. I don’t really want to spend more than $10ish because I won’t use it often, so I’d love some ideas for something I can find at Target. I’ve looked already, of course, but there are ten zillion “long wear” lipsticks so I have no idea where to start.

    Thanks!

    • I have the Maybelline Color Sensational Vivid Matte Liquid Lip Color in a berry color- when I look at myself in the mirror it seems like a LOT but then its just perfect in all the photos. Just make sure you put it on carefully with a mirror- this is not a swipe-on-the-go product.
      I have tried a Marc Jacobs version and a Clinique version (longwear matte lip stains), and I think the Maybelline is just fine.

      • +1 for Maybelline. It is my go-to everyday lipstick. I wear Hollywood Red shade and I only reapply it after lunch and dinner.

    • No suggestions, but following. Actually, do you have any good tinted balms that stick for at least a while? I prefer natural make-up, but it’s been hard to find something that works.

      • Revlon has a really nice lipstick/balm combo, I think they call it lip butter or something like that. It’s great for a tint that feels like a balm.

      • Re: favorite balms – my very old favorite was the Clinique Almost Lipstick, back when they had other colors besides the black honey (too brown/raisin on me). It was the perfect sheer color but lasted way longer than normal balm. Sigh, the one that got away…

        I also like the Fresh Sugar lip balms , but I wouldn’t call them long lasting. I’ve just gotten used to reapplying a lot. They also tend to melt off if it’s really hot or humid, so it’s not something I’d use for, say, an outdoor summer wedding.

        My guilty pleasure is the YSL sheer lipsticks (silver tube) but they’re SO ridiculously expensive. I’m a sucker for the beautiful tube and slightly beachy smell, but they cost too much for me to experiment with a lot of colors.

      • Korres lip butters> Fantastic moisture and a nice very natural color.
        For the OP I’d recommend my other favorite lipstick brand, Bite Beauty. Some colors on it are super hard to get rid of – there is a very dark red they have that I have to apply such a teeny bit of, because it is VERY rich tinted color and doesn’t come off for a long time.

    • My daily go-to is Revlon’s super lustrous lipstick. It’s like $5-6, nice quality for the price.

    • If you are okay with matte, I just picked up a couple of the Wet N Wild MegaLast Liquid Catsuit lipsticks and for $6 they are amazing. I didn’t have to reapply throughout HH and dinner. I am really impressed with these and they are cruelty-free if you are into that.

      • I feel like Wet n Wild is taking over my makeup bag, which is weird for me since I’ve historically been such a princess about makeup. I currently use their brow pencil, am loving their Max Volume mascara (thanks to CountC for the tip!), and will surely acquire this lipstick the next time I’m in a drugstore. Like I actively prefer their brow pencil and mascara to all of the speedy ones I’ve ever tried. Who knew?

        • It’s great, isn’t it? I bought the lipstick based on a rec here and am so happy with it.

          My makeup bag is filled with ELF and WnW. I haven’t used the WnW brow pencil, but I use the ELF eyebrow/liner pot with an angled brush and it’s fab.

        • I love their liquid eye-liner. The best I’ve ever had. It was around $3. Crazy!

      • +1

    • Wet N Wild MegaLast Liquid Catsuit Matte Lipstick – the color rebel rose is gorgeous. These don’t budge

      • pugsnbourbon :

        See that color looks so lovely in the tube but it comes out too brown on me (very pale, reddish hair) I like Pink Really Hard.

    • I like the Sonia Kashuk lipsticks.

    • I like the Sephora house brand cream lip stain, if you have access to Sephora. I think it’s around ~$11.

      • I do have Sephora, just didn’t want to get suggestions for $30+ lipsticks for such a limited use. I’ll check out that lip stain, thanks! At least then I could try it out first.

        • The Sephora brand cream stains are excellent – very comfortable, very long wearing and very affordable!

      • Anonymous :

        This is what I use — I have it in 3 or 4 colors, and the color stays but isn’t glue-y.

    • Tech Comm Geek :

      NYX Epic Ink lip stain – available at Ulta. $7, lots of colors. Stays on beautifully and doesn’t dry out my lips. Let it dry pretty well before doing anything else (30 seconds or so).

    • I’m writing all these suggestions down in a note on my phone so I can check them out this weekend at Target. Thanks, y’all!

    • Rainbow Hair :

      The NYX Liquid Suede Cream Lipstick thingies are grrrreat for an intense color that lasts.

      For a more moderate color that lasts, I love the Revlon Just Bitten Kissable Lip Stain and Balm (known by my friends as the RJBKIBBLES) … it really does last well, and it’s so easy to wear.

    • FreckledKitKat :

      I’ve used Revlon’s ColorStay Overtime in some shade of bright red many times for nights out without fail. I normally scrub my lips really well before I apply and it stays on for most of the night (I normally reapply once after eating). It does tend to stain the lips for a few hours after you take it off so be prepared if you’re experimenting with it prior to wanting to wear it.

  12. mustard with black? :

    I bought a mustard colored top for the first time and I can’t figure out what to wear it with. Every time I put it on with black pants, I feel like I’m a bumblebee and take it off again. What colors work with mustard?

    • Navy looks amazing with mustard.

      • +1 to navy
        My go-to neutral lately is gray. If something looks harsh with black, I’ll pair the same thing with gray and it looks great.

    • I like it with charcoal gray and cream.

    • Navy, olive. Maroon/burgendy/wine? Basically, muddied versions of colors, vs saturated or bright, since mustard is a muddy color.

    • Delta Dawn :

      Could you try white or cream? I have a mustard top and find that I only wear it in the fall, with other “fall” colors. I have worn it with dark maroon ankle pants, under a brown suit, under a dark green suit, and with navy as others have mentioned.

      • Hey, I also have a what-to-wear-with-yellow question:

        My favorite button-down is a cream/pale yellow, with gold/dark yellow pinstripes. I’d like to tuck it into dark-wash jeans, but what belt and shoes? I don’t own any brown. Black seems too harsh. I tried a red belt and gray penny loafers, but the red-yellow-blue seemed a bit too color-blocky. Other ideas?

    • Navy and gray!

      Plum if you’re feeling feisty.

  13. I am almost 38 weeks old pregnant and really not sure how to handle my leave transition. I was having a high risk pregnancy and thought I’d be delivering early, but it appears that’s not the case. I transitioned some of my projects already in case at my bosses request and now he has given them back to me. How do others handle this limbo period? My last pregnancy I delivered suddenly at 37 weeks and me and my boss were not prepared at all.

    • Depending on the nature of the project – could you just keep a sheet of paper or electronic running list of status – at the end of the day at a quick one or two lines on current status? That way if you are off suddenly, your boss will know where it stands.

      • I have a big running list with updates. Some of the projects are quite involved, and now new ones are popping up. Wondering if other people have done more overlap during transition. Outside counsel has offered to shadow for free for example.

        • eh – it’s such a short time period that I wouldn’t spend too much time figuring out how to use this time more effectively. Can you make yourself available as support on other projects that someone else is primarily responsible for — so you are adding something but if you go away with no notice your absence isn’t a big deal?

          • Yeah, 38 weeks. Baby is right around the corner Don’t take work back. Be out of the office as much as possible. Take time to response to emails. or whatever it take to give people the hint w/out actually being out or dropping the ball.

            I pulled an all-nighter (biglaw) at 39 weeks and 1 day trying to finish stuff up. The next morning I was like “what was I thinking, I could trigger labor and have to go into it with no sleep!” Fortunately, DD wasn’t born for another three days.

      • That’s what I did, and I started transitioning at 37 weeks… helpful because I went into labor at 38 weeks on the nose with no warning!
        I would see if you can take bite-size projects and keep your work-recipients in the loop as to your progress… e.g., if you’re a litigator, try to find discrete things you can do (like writing a motion, reviewing a particular set of documents) that require you to complete each step in 1-2 days and can easily be handed off.
        I also would not stress about hours during this time.

  14. Puffy Eyes :

    Any recommendations for how to de-puff my under-eye bags? They are not so much dark circles; the color is ok, but they just look really swollen, even after plenty of sleep. I drink a lot of water, etc., but is there something else I could be doing? Any product I could try?

    • Touche Eclat from YSL has worked for me. But as you already mentioned, water and sleep seem to be best at really fixing the issue. Consistent periods of hydration and sleep… like two weeks of it. Ha, I know right?

    • My eyes get puffy when I eat to much salt.

      Other than that I like the Clinique Pep Start eye cream and good old cold spoons under the eyes for a few minutes in the morning

    • For a temporary fix try cold compresses made from tea bags and ice water. Regular old Lipton will do. Leave on 5 minutes.

      I used to get swollen eyes from allergies. Could that be the issue?

      • Yes, it could definitely be allergy related. Every couple of weeks I get a horrible case of Itchy Eyes. I use Zatidor (based on a rec from here– thank you to whatever angel recommended that), which takes care of the itching, but I do think the remaining swelling could certainly be allergies.

    • I like the skyn Iceland under-eye patches.

    • The ordinary makes a cheap caffeine serum that works great on my allergy/too much salt puffiness. I put it on after I wash my face but before moisturizer in the morning. It only takes a tiny bit so it should last a while. It’s also moisturizing a bit, which is nice.

      http://theordinary.com/product/rdn-caffeine-solution-5pct-egcg-30ml

    • Tech Comm Geek :

      I’ve had great success with the 100% Pure brand Caffeine Eye Cream. It doesn’t irritate my sensitive skin and works great. I notice a difference in about 15 minutes.

    • Origins Gingzing eye cream. I’ve been using it for years to reduce puffiness in the morning. It has caffeine and works perfectly every time.

    • Anonymous :

      Drybrushing works wonder for me.

    • One of my eyelids (yes, just one) got swollen few weeks ago. It was driving me crazy as I could not find the cause at first – I sleep well, I do not eat much sodium, I do not retain excess water, my cosmetics is not irritating, I did not use any harsh products. Then I noticed that my eyelid was fine while on holiday. Long story cut short – I figured it is my pillow (maybe dust mites in it), changed the pillow for antiallergic one ith a protective anti-dustmite cover and it is improving.

  15. I have trouble with my iron levels when I’m on my period. I’m not usually anemic, but that time of the month my levels plummet and I get dizzy, fatigued, etc. I’m trying to correct with diet to avoid taking a supplement. The google machine tells me to eat spinach and red meat, but I don’t eat red meat. Any other ideas to up my iron intake?

    • Veronica Mars :

      Make green smoothies with fresh spinach. You can very easily drink them. You can also try fortified cereals.

    • Molasses. I make gingerbread smoothies or protein shakes with molasses when my iron is low.

      • Would you mind sharing your recipe for gingerbread smoothies? That sounds amazing.

        • Frozen banana (I use about 1/2 a large banana), 8 ounces vanilla almond milk, 1 tbsp of black strap molasses, 1 tsp of vanilla extract (I use vanilla butter bakery emulsion from the craft supply store), and pumpkin pie spice to your personal taste.

      • I know I should know this – but does molasses taste like honey or worse? (Clearly I don’t like honey). Not the OP – knowing myself I know I wouldn’t go make some special recipe with molasses – is it tolerable if you take a spoonful?

      • Yes to blackstrap molasses in smoothies! I like to add both spinach and molasses – you don’t even taste the greens.

    • Some cereals are iron fortified. I think oatmeal is wonder worker for many vitamin and mineral deficiencies.

      • Just looked – had no idea oatmeal had iron? 1 cup has 77% of DV. Now tolerating a cup of oatmeal is another thing – but even a small serving is iron rich.

      • Cream of wheat has iron, too.

    • Anon in NYC :

      For non-meat sources, try adding beans and lentils to your diet.

    • One thing I learned about iron – it depends on you’re eating with it. For best absorption have something iron heavy with vitamin C (orange juice is fine – you don’t necessarily need it in pill form). Also if eating something iron heavy, do NOT drink tea with it — I was eating iron and my standard beverage is iced tea — which hinders/reduces absorption by a lot. I’ve also heard (but haven’t researched) that iron does not absorb well with calcium. I have only heard this from parents of young kids – so if they need iron drops, they’ll make sure not to give them a bottle for a few hours; I don’t know if that applies to adults.

      • I looked into the co-absorption of iron and calcium. I take two calcium chewies and a standard vitamin every morning. As it turns out, the effect isn’t observed at the doses I take, although at twice the dose the effect would be measurable. (Unfortunately, I don’t remember the exact numbers.)

      • I didn’t know that about iron and tea! I drink tea every day and I’m anemic.

    • Have you talked with your doctor? Most young women do not bleed so much that they can become iron deficient just during their period and become symptomatic only then. You would most likely be anemic all the time. Have you been having blood tests?

      I bled a lot when I was younger, and needed to take iron. VitronC is a good one that is well absorbed (the vitamin C improves absorption) and doesn’t cause GI side effects. You would not be able to prevent true anemia with small dietary changes like those suggested.

      Otherwise you need to drink a lot more. You could be borderline dehydrated and the bleeding (if very heavy) could push you over the edge.

      Talk with your doctor.

      • I have talked with my doctor and done blood tests. I’m on the low end of iron, but not truly anemic. I typically have heavy periods with a lot of clotting, which my doctor said was likely causing my iron to drop enough to cause symptoms. I’ll take iron if necessary, but I’m trying to see if I can manage it by adjusting my diet first.
        I use the waterlogged app to track how much water I drink, and I’m typically over the 64 oz goal, but I’ll make sure to keep it up! :)

    • This is why my BC pills have iron pills during the ‘off days’ at the end of the month. If you are already on one and are amenable to switching, maybe talk to your doctor about them.

    • I take Sundown Perfect Iron supplement, one per day during that week, with no side effects and it does prevent anemia-otherwise yeah, I would be in trouble. I wouldn’t mess around, just take a supplement!

    • Clams have one of the highest iron ratios of any food.

    • Anonymous :

      Lentils! Also, iron binds with calcium, so don’t eat your iron rich foods with calcium rich foods for the best absorption.

    • Liver is especially great for iron. Red-meat liver, like beef or lamb, is best. (You may not like this. I am from Europe and grew up eating liver as a regular food, and although I don’t eat much meat these days, liver and onions = mmmmm. Dip bread in it.)

  16. Halogen Cashmere? :

    Anyone have experience with Halogen brand cashmere? I’m seriously tempted by a duster sweater now on sale but I hate to spend $200 only to have it pill immediately. It looked incredibly cute in person.
    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/halogen-long-ribbed-cashmere-cardigan-regular-petite/4525669?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=GREY%20HEATHER

    • Get it if you love it. If it pills and does not live up to your expectations, Nordstrom will take it back. Hold on to your receipt.

    • Aunt Jamesina :

      I have a Halogen crewneck cashmere sweater from two winters ago and it’s held up quite well for its price point. The only hard thing about recommending items like sweaters for longevity is that by the time you’ve put it through it’s paces, it’s quite possible they’ve changed their cashmere supplier or manufacturing process. The reviews certainly look promising.

      • Spirograph :

        Counterpoint, I bought 2 sweaters last winter and they pilled very quickly. I got them on sale, but it was still disappointing.

    • I bought one Halogen cashmere pullover last winter and it pilled terribly. Won’t ever buy again.

  17. Veronica Mars :

    Someone please tell me barefoot dreams is overpriced and terrible and I’ll hate one. Thanks!

    • Sorry… can’t. After a baby, I lived in mine. I’ve also gotten them as gifts for others. Not a bad word to say about their sweaters, even at what seems like a ridiculously high price, but the quality has held up impressively.

    • Hmmm they are pretty cozy… for what it’s worth I found the sleeves too tight and they were somewhat less soft after washing. But overall pretty nice.

    • Delta Dawn :

      I’m sorry– it’s amazing and worth every penny. I have a barefoot dreams cardigan that I bought on a whim a couple of months ago, and I have worn it at some point every day since. Sometimes I put it on when I get home just because I love it that much. It is like wearing a hug.

      • Veronica Mars :

        Oh man. That’s a strong endorsement. This is probably going to be me. I work from home so I could wear one every day!

      • +1 “It is like wearing a hug.”

        Yep. I have one and feel like it isn’t super stylish on me (I’m too petite to pull off a giant sweater), but it is so darn comfortable that it’s in my rotation for when I am flying or when I am lounging at home.

    • Amelia Bedelia :

      it’s overpriced and terrible and you will hate one.

      *also, this is a total lie. I splurged on one after my pregnancy and I LOVE IT. lived in it for six months straight.

    • They are very soft but I’ve found that they shed like crazy! I’ve tried the circle cardigan in both navy and taupe (both returned to nordstrom due to the shedding issue) and the pants. The pants were a nordstrom rack purchase and they’re comfortable enough (and were cheap enough) that I deal with the shedding, but at even the sale price point I can’t justify the cardigans.

    • Anonymous :

      I would recommend looking at Norstrom Rack. I’ve seen them marked down on there, which might make taking the plunge less cost prohibitive.

    • I ordered two from the Nordstrom AS b/c of all the rave reviews, and sent both back. The seemed huge and shapeless, esp around the shoulders – I was afraid they’d sag around the shoulders and make me look big there.

      I’ve enjoyed Bobeau one-button cardi’s (fleece and other fabrics), also available from Nordstrom and Rack if you’re looking for an alternative.

  18. Question for NY Moms :

    Hi, I have a family wedding in NYC next month. I am wondering how NYC moms would recommend transporting 2 toddlers (ages 3 and 1) between and among the hotel (near LGA), ceremony (Manhattan) and reception (Queens). We’re bringing 1 car seat. I know Uber has the Uber Family service, but I’m not sure how well it works in the real world – i.e. how long we’d have to wait for a pick-up.

    • Amelia Bedelia :

      honestly, in DC and NYC I just travel without carseats in taxis. just noting this.

    • Taxi/uber w/o a car seat. In Manhattan you are NEVER moving more than 10 mph within the city. You will feel the speed on the FDR (a highway) as well as the highway thru Queens to/from the airport but honestly those feel fast to me – and you’re barely ever at more than 30 mph – feels fast when you’ve crawled thru city traffic at 6 mph.

      • Do parents in NYC really never use carseats? That boggles my mind. Aren’t there laws?

        Even at 10mph you can get in an accident that could hurt a child…

        • Parents in NYC have car seats installed in their own cars — but in a taxi/uber no one worries that much. It’s NYC — we obsess less than the rest of the country about every minor thing – life is hard enough. And in all these yrs I have NEVER heard of anyone being pulled over or ticketed for lack of carseat.

          • I think the life & safety of your child is something to worry about, but maybe that’s just me.

          • Whatever. Most people just put a seatbelt on their kid if they’re really concerned and get over it. You all are acting like these are infants being brought home from the hospital.

          • Cornellian :

            I actually specifically want to continue to live in the city for so long as possible, because being in a car (at all, even in the best carseat) is a bigger risk to my kid. I hope that if I move out, I can find a place where I can walk/bus/etc with the kid to daycare/school.

          • Anonymous @11:22–It is extremely dangerous for kids to use seatbelts unless they are tall enough that they can sit all the way back in the seat with their legs bending correctly at the edge of the seat and the seatbelt hits at the right point on the shoulder. For most kids this is something like 4’8″ or 4’9″.

        • Cornellian :

          Parents who don’t have cars seem to use car seats for the under 2s as a rule.

          I mostly carry him in a carrier on a bus or subway. Honestly, my kid has been in a car in NYC… 5? 6? times in his whole life, and never at more than 15 mph. I always use a carseat, but don’t side eye folks with 5 year olds who don’t. Honestly, the moments I’ve felt most concerned for my kid were carrying him in his carseat up many floors in a walk up. Life really is fundamentally different in the truly urban areas of NYC.

          There’s actually a good site with statistics on this, I’ll try to find and post in a separate comment.

        • Anonymous :

          It’s pretty common for parents in NYC to not worry about carseats in taxis, but it’s shocking and horrifying to me (I don’t live in the city but my in-laws do). Taxis are way more dangerous than a car driven by the average cautious American parent, and even though the average speed tends to be low because of all the time spent sitting in traffic they definitely have bursts of rapid acceleration and deceleration which can cause accidents. And even if they really never went above 25 miles per hour, children can definitely die in accidents at those speeds. I think it’s insane that parents in NYC don’t think carseats are a big deal.

          • Anonymama :

            “Average cautious American parent”: lol. (Picturing myself driving while distracted by screaming toddler and simultaneously trying to reach back and hang sunshade to ameliorate screaming/burning while sitting in stop-and-go rush hour traffic…)

            That said I do haul car seats around to uber with a 3 year old. I’ve gotten pretty good at installing quickly, and haven’t had too much trouble finding a place to stash it at various places. My fear of being judged may exceed my fear for safety of child, to be honest.

          • Anonymous :

            Have you been in a NYC taxi? They drive like complete maniacs and will accelerate as fast as the car can go when the light turns green and there’s no car in front of them. I know parents (all drivers, really) are sometimes distracted or speeding slightly, but responsible adults normally don’t drive 95 miles an hour or alternately slam on the gas and brake.

      • brokentoe :

        I am seriously alarmed at the cavalier attitudes of people and that crashes -even at “low” speeds – aren’t that big of a deal. Are you willing for your child to sustain these injuries? “A fall off a 3.3 feet desk results in a speed at impact of 10 m.p.h. A 10 m.p.h. change in speed (Delta-V) in a motor vehicle collision is equivalent to falling off a desk. Similarly, a 15 m.p.h. change in speed is equivalent to falling 7.5 feet – off a step ladder. A 20 m.p.h. change in speed is equivalent to falling 13.4 feet – off the roof of a one story building. A 25 m.p.h. change in speed is equivalent to falling 20.5 feet – off a two-story building. A 30 m.p.h. change in speed is equivalent to falling 30 feet – off a three-story building.”

        http://ellisclinic.com/lowspeed/index.htm .

        • Thank you for this, I’m also very alarmed. And yes, I spent 15 years living in NYC. Life is different there but it’s not so different that kids don’t get seriously hurt in car accidents.

    • Cornellian :

      I’d download Lyft to your phone, and any other of those newfangled apps so you can check response times for each of them. Lyft has a car seat option, as well.

      I don’t mind travelling with my baby on the subway and find it’s often faster than a car, but you’d have to look at what stops you’re near. My baby also is too young to run away from me, and there is one of him, so YMMV.

    • Where in Manhattan is the ceremony and where in Queens is the reception? Bus/subway service is doable and no car seats required, but may take around an hour depending on where precisely you’re trying to get. Can’t comment on Uber car seat availability, but I’d suggest doing a test-request whenever you get in (i.e., go into the app as though you’re about to request a car seat Uber and see what the wait time is) and then monitor availability throughout the day you’ll need the Uber. If the wait is like 30 minutes (which I can’t imagine, but maybe?) then perhaps public transit is the best bet.

      • It probably will be — there aren’t that many Uber drivers driving around with car seats in their trunk — mostly bc there is little demand for them esp in Manhattan/Queens.

      • Question for NY Moms :

        Thanks for the suggestions and advice, everyone. The hotel has an airport shuttle, so we will just take that. I don’t think public transportation is an option for us – it’ll be hot, we’ll be dressed up, and kids will likely be crabby from lack of a nap, and there’s at least a 15 minute walk on the Queens side.

        I got a quote from Kid Car NY, and it was $109 one way (!), and we’d need 2 round trips. Now I’m considering renting a van or small shuttle to transport all the family members between the ceremony and reception. For the rehearsal dinner and getting to the ceremony, we’ll play it by ear. Uber or Lyft Family, unless we can’t get one, a regular cab if not. Since the rehearsal starts at 5:30 pm on Friday, I don’t think excessive speed in a cab will be an issue. The vest thing looks interesting – will check it out.

    • Would recommend subway if near to where you are going to go. If not – we use Legends Car Service for airport pickups etc. and have had a great experience every time – they charge $10 extra per car seat and have both infant and toddler seats available. You can book online, they are always on time (in fact typically early and waiting), cars are clean, and drivers are very polite.

      • Cornellian :

        this is probably actually a better idea, especially with two kids.

        • Yes, definitely use a family-oriented car service or take the subway. We always used the subway, either wearing the kid or with an umbrella stroller, when in NYC until our kid no longer needed a car seat. Most kids love public transit, especially if it’s a novelty for them.

          The subway takes forever to get to Queens, though.

          • Gail the Goldfish :

            I mean, depends on where in Queens and Manhattan you are. In the off chance the wedding you’re going to is at The Foundry in LIC, it’s 1 stop from Manhattan and not a bad walk from the subway (and if it is, I’d switch to one of the hotels right by Queensboro.)

    • Anon in NYC :

      Mass transit from LGA to Manhattan can be a pain with 2 kids, luggage + 1 car seat (it can be a combo of bus + subway and can take a while). You can absolutely travel in taxis without a car seat, but whether or not you’re comfortable doing that is up to you. If not, I would probably book a car service in advance with an extra car seat, rather than rely on on Uber or Lyft to have one available.

      Where in Queens do you need to go? Assuming that you can take the subway, I’d say that would be your easiest/safest bet. If you can wear your 1 year old, that makes it even easier.

      • Plus this is probably a weekend? Taking the subway between boroughs on a weekend is a nightmare no matter what age group.

    • Uber family wait times can vary, but not awful as long as you build in an extra 10-15 minutes for where you need to go. To the hotel from LGA, does the hotel provide a shuttle? What about bringing a ridersafe vest for the 3 year old? I started using one for my daughter around 3 just for taxi’s in NYC.

      • I would also do the ridesafer travel vest for the 3 year-old, and put the one year-old in the carseat that you are bringing. If possible, I’d squeeze the 1 year-old into a bucket car seat (my kids have been within the height/weight limits until they were almost 2, although it wasn’t particularly comfortable for them at that point). But that won’t work if the 3 year-old will be in the car seat on the plane.

    • The most dangerous thing most of us do everyday is get in a car. We forget, but its true.

      A dear friend lost her 5 year old, not in a car seat, in the back seat of a car she was driving. In NYC. The infant in a car seat survived. She wasn’t driving very fast.

      I thought the evolution of car seats/boosters seemed a bit extreme, but…..

      The most dangerous thing most of us do everyday is get in a car

  19. I love this topic every time it comes up because you ladies are amazing dressers, so tell me: What are you wearing today?

    Me, in my extremely casual business casual office: a black linen sleeveless shirtdress, pearl studs, silver watch, nude sandals. I love shirtdresses in the summer!

    • I had a major “omg I have nothing to wear” moment this morning after realizing a pair of work pants no longer fits, so I’m wearing a mosaic-print dress and black cardigan, both of which I probably wear once a week. Suffice to say, I’m going shopping this weekend.

    • I’m in ‘if you don’t know what to wear, wear black’. Mixed media crepe-front black blouse tucked into black ankle pants, tortoise belt, brown leader sandals. Silver watch and large stud earrings. Red leather dome bag.

    • Baconpancakes :

      Pink floral wrap dress, white linen blazer, black wedges. Inherited diamond studs and pendant. Wet hair because I lost track of time at the gym this morning.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      Just sitting in my office writing reports today – fuschia crepe dress with a ruffle down the front, elbow sleeve black cardigan, snake sandals, multicolour freshwater pearl necklace and black pearl and diamond earrings, plus my everyday engagement/wedding ring and right hand sapphire and diamond ring.

    • I always love these too.

      – A floral patterned pencil skirt from AT or Loft (can’t remember), that is cream, coral, pink, grey, and black
      – a flowy 3/4 sleeve grey blouse with a ruffle down the center
      – D’Orsay black pointed-toe heels from Target
      – black pearl stud earrings
      – rose gold necklace with black rutilated quartz pendant
      – ozidized silver and gold stacker rings on my right hand and my ring made of out my childhood pony’s tail hair on my left (sounds weird I know, but I get lots of compliments)

      I also have added a rose sweatshirt cardigan thing from Bobeau that I keep at my office because it’s always cold AF in here. It doesn’t really match, but I DGAF.

      • A+ accessorizing! I wish I had a memento from my childhood pony like that.

        • Thank you! My mom had a bracelet made from it as well. There is an artist outside of Philly who does really nice work – Gina Johnson.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I’ve worked through most of my work wardrobe in the Wear Everything Challenge, so I’m on a repeat that I love and is so easy to wear. An Eliza J dress that’s blue and white stripes with some little green stripes — long sleeves, boat neck, stretchy, easy. I should be wearing nude shoes but I grabbed black ones, but I also don’t really care.

      I forgot to put my hair up this morning and I’m living on the “will my rainbow hair show?!” edge. It’s so dead in my office this week though, I’m not sure I care.

    • Boden Phoebe dress in the swan print on blue, a silver necklace, and hot pink Charleston sandals.

    • Black J Crew seersucker skirt suit (because it’s seersucker Thursday!) with a teal modal crew-neck tank underneath and black leather 2.5 inch pointy toe heels.

    • AnglophileAnon :

      This gem: http://www.nextdirect.com/us/en/g7516s1#464585
      The color and texture are even better in person.

    • pugsnbourbon :

      In the spirit of the Wear Everything challenge, I’m wearing a red silk (?) wrap skirt with a black, white and gold floral-paisley pattern that I picked up at a thrift store years ago. Top is a 3/4 sleeve linen-blend boatneck from Loft.

      I like the skirt a lot – very light and floaty – but it’s an a-line silhouette that I don’t wear often, so I feel like it looks weird.

    • PrettyPrimadonna :

      Green and white polka dot dress from Boden with a navy linen blazer with gold buttons. Low-heeled minimalist sandals in nude-for-me.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      Black ankle pants (that I need to replace because they’re faded but whatever), dark teal scoopneck tee from Target (Merona, love them!), Nic and Zoe multiple way sweater untied in black, wine-colored booties. It’s raining today, hence the booties and pants.

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        And a silver necklace my mom “loaned” me six years ago that’s my favorite and she has realized she’s never getting back.

    • Not that Anne, the other Anne :

      Short-sleeved white button up with dark green stripes, dark green camisole, light brown pants, and brown round-toe flats. Basic vintage pearl necklace (fake, but also $2) and red and green flower-motif earrings.

  20. I just started listening to the Stuff You Should Know podcast based on some recs around here. While, I think the topics are interesting, the hosts drive me batty. They start out discussing their research but when they ask each other follow up questions it is all guessing or shoulder shrugging. Did I just pick some bad sample episodes or has anyone else felt the same?

    • I haven’t listened to that particular podcast but have found this pattern very common among true crime podcasts, to which genre I’m currently addicted. So, sympathy.

    • I’m not a huge fan of the hosts. They obviously do research on each episode, but they talk with such authority about every subject, as if they’ve spent their whole lives working on that topic. That’s what really drives me crazy. Oh, to have the confidence of a white man . . .

    • Mary Ann Singleton :

      Yes, I stopped listening to it for the same reason. I feel like they just read a Wikipedia article on the topic and then speak on it with such great authority. And their super casual style annoys me. (I think my breaking point was when they said something like “So then Napoleon said, ‘hey dude,,,,’ [can’t remember actually what Napoleon was supposed to have said because the “hey dude” lead-in annoyed me so much.]”

      The confidence of mediocre white men…

    • Lots to Learn :

      I stopped listening to them for the same reason. Right after I heard one of them stating something authoritative that I happened to know was flat wrong.

      • Ok then, unsubscribe it is. The one I listened to this morning was the same thing. Flat out wrong and probably the one fact most people actually *do* know on the topic. And they just backed each other up on it. How hard is it to hit pause, look up the right answer and then start recording again?

  21. Help me style this bootie :

    I got this from the NAS and my feet love them (and b/c I am a post-Wonder Woman high of anything that Diana Prince might wear and kick butt in).

    http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/sorel-after-hours-waterproof-bootie-women/4600958?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=MIDNIGHT

    What on earth do I wear these with? I’ve never had booties of any sort before. But I need to stretch my wings a bit and figure this out.

    • I would wear them everyday in winter, and some fall. They would be my commute shoe (change shoes in office if needed) wearing with mostly skirts/tights or short enough ankle pants. And I would wear every day on weekends in the same snowy weather with black skinny jeans/ankle pants.

      I wear lots of black

    • I want these so bad! I have the Joan of Arctic Wedge that I wore nearly every day last winter (similar style but with laces) so I can attest to them working with nearly everything.

    • Skinny black or olive jeans, cozy oatmeal colored slouchy sweater?

  22. Yoga pants :

    Looking for yoga or other casual pants that I can wear as “house pants”- pants that I can either sleep in or put on when I wake up and carry about my house business, including things like getting the mail and brining in the trashcans. Maybe on particularity rough days wearing through the drive-through drycleaners.

    I’m 5’10” and don’t actually do Yoga/exercise in any meaningful way, so super athletic looking stuff feels a bit silly on me. I’m – size 10/12 with a bit of a booty so I don’t want anything really tight. Maybe more like a sweatpant? I used to have lands end starfish pants that were amazing, but they ripped and are long discontinued.

    • Veronica Mars :

      Zella from Nordstrom has the best athletic pants selection. If you’re looking for more of a cotton lounge pant, maybe try Victoria’s Secret?

      • I like the Soul 3 pants from Zella. They’re fitted through the thigh but then wide cut at the bottom, so they are less “yoga-y” than wearing full-on leggings. Super comfy.

      • I like the Tek Gear pants from Kohls for this. They come in different materials, I like the cotton ones.

    • Midwest Mama :

      Target has black yoga pants in various styles – fitted, semi-fitted, etc. and they come in longs. I’m 6′ tall and the longs are plenty long for me.

    • Tech Comm Geek :

      Target has Champion capri-length “active pants” that I really like for this. They hold up very well. Both elastic and drawstring waist, which makes me more comfortable.

    • lost academic :

      I am like you :) I love my Old Navy “yoga” pants which have pockets and are bootcut. Weird, I know, but they become the perfect lounge pant.

    • I love the metro jogger from Athleta and I can actually get away with wearing them for errands even though they are super comfortable and slouchy. http://athleta.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=1076900&pcid=1033641&vid=1&pid=348620002

      And I also second the recommendations for Zella and Champion that are above.

    • Gail the Goldfish :

      I have lounge pants from Old Navy for this purpose.

    • Aunt Jamesina :

      I just bought these in black from the NAS, and they’re suuuuper comfy but don’t look totally schlubby: http://shop.nordstrom.com/s/nordstrom-lingerie-lazy-mornings-lounge-pants/3883858?origin=keywordsearch-personalizedsort&fashioncolor=PURPLE%20HAZE

      • Aunt Jamesina :

        And I should add that I’m 5’7 and these are a bit long on me. I also have a booty and they’re flattering and fit nicely!

    • There are tons of available Starfish pants on Land’s End right now. Maybe one is similar to the style you loved?

    • I buy the ‘Alternative Apparel’ pants on Amazon. They are super light weight and comfy.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      LuLulemon Dance Studio pants are my favorite. They have lasted years too. I’m 5’7″, all leg, and the talls were crazy long for me.

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      Natori has some great lounge pants I use for this purpose. I am 5’11” and they are long enough for me.

  23. As if we didn’t need more reasons to wait to announce a pregnancy, one of my colleagues announced her surprise pregnancy on Fb because they were on a fantastic vacation and she could no longer hide it in the photos. 36 hours later, she had to post that they had been through he!! and lost the baby. I just can’t imagine the heartbreak.

    • Or genius could just not have posted vacation photos on FB. But I guess if it isn’t on FB it didn’t really happen and no one will believe that they were on a fabulous vacation.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        Wow, that’s a generous reaction to someone’s terrible news.

        • And yet the 2 posters below said the exact same thing and that’s fine . . . .

          • nasty woman :

            Except they absolutely did not. No one below insulted her intelligence or implied that she was shallow and attention-seeking. That was just you.

            See the difference? That’s why what *you* did is *not* fine.

      • This is insensitive, but I agree with the general point about social media. I am so annoyed but how many people of my generation (and even my parents’ generation now) think “If it’s not on Facebook, it didn’t happen.” You can live a perfectly good life without documenting every second of it for the adoring public. Seeing my friends and family become obsessed with putting their lives out there for validation in the form of likes and comments has made me pull away from the platform, which I used a lot in college and right after. My last Facebook post was in 2015.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        “I’m not judging her for announcing” and “I’m so sorry” are pretty different in tone/judgment from sarcastically calling someone a “genius” and implying she’s a braggart.

        If being harshly critical about the FB choices of someone who just miscarried is the fight you wanna fight, that’s your call. But it’s not a good look.

    • I’m very sorry for her loss, and I’m not judging her for announcing – everyone should announce when and where they want – but nobody ever “has” to announce anything. Putting photos of yourself on Facebook is a choice and it’s totally possible to post photos of your upper body that don’t reveal a bump (it’s actually pretty hard to take a selfie that captures the bump). And even a loss after a public announcement is not something you “have” to announce publicly although it’s understandable why you would want to so you don’t receive painful comments or questions. This is why FB world will not know about the existence of our baby if and until she arrives healthy.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      That is so sad.

      I didn’t publicly announce my pregnancy at all — that is to say, no cute FB announcement (and certainly no maternity photoshoot) — so some far-away, not-that-close friends didn’t know until there was a photo of me with a baby posted. I’ve inherited some traditions/superstitions about talking too much about a kid before they’re born, celebrating too much, etc., and I’m also just very private about my super important life things.

      But I feel very much “to each her own” on that … if FB is the way you communicate with your support network, it might be a reasonable choice to share your joy with them, knowing you may later ask for their support in your heartbreak.

      My heart goes out to her, especially with that quick transition from the high of a vacation and expectations and congratulations, to the low of that loss.

    • I’m sorry for her loss but this is a pretty expected risk when you choose to announce a pregnancy on facebook. I don’t know how old she was or how far along, but a reasonably high (something like 15-20%) of pregnancies end in loss. If you don’t want to take a pretty good chance of having to announce a loss on facebook, don’t announce a pregnancy on facebook.
      Also a little confused by your comment “As if we didn’t need more reasons to wait to announce a pregnancy…” This IS the primary reason women don’t announce pregnancies until after the end of the first trimester.

      • She was far enough along that she was showing. How long should she have waited?

        • I’m not saying she SHOULD have waited, just saying that when you announce a pregnancy on facebook you should be aware that there is a decent possibility you will have then have to publicly announce a loss. If you’re fine with that, then you should announce whenever you want. If you’re not fine with that, then you should keep it off social media.

          • I mean no one has to publicly announce anything, even if they have posted about related topics on FB already. The vast majority of people’s FB friends are distant and they never interact with them IRL. Presumably, she could have told her family outside of FB, same with close friends. She doesn’t owe anyone anything in re: to her pregnancy even if she posted on FB. I don’t care one way or the other what people post on FB, that’s their business and I am able to ignore it if I want to. I would never be so entitled as to think that if I saw a friend announce her pregnancy/engagement that she would also owe me a FB notice that she miscarried/broke off the engagement. She is entitled to tell whomever she wants, whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Being linked on social media entitles me to nothing.

      • Sorry, I didn’t use the right words. It was just proof, I guess. So sad. If they had waited two more days, the announcement wouldn’t have been made.

    • I’m so sorry for your colleague.

      It’s just always safer to wait to announce, IMO. I lost two pregnancies before 6 weeks and was so glad I had told no one except my husband. I hate it when people feel sorry for me and wouldn’t have handled public sympathy very well. It has to make the experience of losing a pregnancy 100 times worse if you had to go through the whole experience in public, and in real-time.

      • Yup. I told my husband when I found out at 4ish weeks and we didn’t tell a single soul until 16 weeks (would have told at 14 weeks, but we were seeing my parents in person a couple weeks later and wanted to wait to announce the news in person and wanted to tell my parents before telling anyone else). I cannot handle people feeling sorry for me and announcing before the end of the first trimester (which is officially 14 weeks, not 12 like many people think) was never a possibility. It’s mind boggling to me that there are people who share the news broadly before even hearing the heartbeat, but to each their own I guess.

      • I will say, after 2 m/cs (both after the ultrasounds), if I hadn’t said anything, I would have missed out on the huge sorority of other women who have miscarried. They suffered, often silently and alone. I suffered with support.

        There can be a positive difference when you share.

        • x10000. I am not saying I tell everyone, but having suffered a miscarriage without anyone knowing and another where my friends did know, that support was invaluable

        • +1 million

          I’m the resident 18+ month TTC person around here (resident b/c I think I’ve posed about it a lot lately..). I fully plan to share the news of my future pregnancy with those in my support network at 4ish weeks. (1) BC, yay, I’ll finally be pregnant; and (2) particularly after this TTC hell, I absolutely cannot imagine facing a loss on my own.

          Only after starting to speak openly about TTC issues was I able to find adequate support for what I’m going through, which not surprisingly has come from other women who are/were in my shoes. I imagine facing a loss would be similar.

    • 1. That is just awful.

      2. It is not more awful b/c she was happy to announce she was pregnant.

      3. Miscarriages are not comeuppance for being happy.

      4. People announce engagements that don’t end in marriages, marriages that end in divorce, births of people who will eventually die. Why should pregnancy be any different? Why should we be so afraid to feel something but not give voice to it? Can we only deal with the good news? I don’t care about my friends/family so little that I am indifferent to their bad news. If anything, the good news takes care of itself. I am long-distance from many family and friends and if anything, I really want the bad news. Let me know when I need to up the prayer / juju / vibes / etc.

      • Rainbow Hair :

        Yes, this is a perspective that makes a ton of sense to me. The first (long distance) friend I told said just that: “yes, the risks are still high because it’s early, but I *want* to be with you to celebrate your joy, and if there’s sadness, I want to support you through it.”

      • Yeah, I know all of those things and it was heartbreaking. They were recently married and she has a young (tween) daughter and they are on their honeymoon in northern Europe so posting lots of family pics and then they posted some really cute pics with her obviously showing and announced. I don’t think it was announcing early at all. She was showing quite a bit so who knows how far along she was. I think over 12 weeks. I am totally not judging. I never really saw the harm in it and it was not a cutesy “we’re pregnant” thing. They are older and it was exciting for him and for her daughter. So absolutely heartbreaking. I guess what I was trying to say was that it was horrendous for her to have to make the second announcement.

      • Yes. Thank you.

      • Nudibranch :

        +1

    • Annddddd all these reactions are exactly why women feel they have to hide terrible events like miscarriages. Good job, y’all.

      • Yep. I’ve had two miscarriages and I’ve never regretted telling anyone about either pregnancy. Now I’m rethinking that. Guess I should have just suffered in silence?

      • Mary Ann Singleton :

        Yes, I’m kind of shocked by these responses. I’d say always choose kindness, people.

        • Rainbow Hair :

          I really hope my comments didn’t add to your distress! If they did, I’m truly sorry.

          It’s awful that people feel they have the right to criticize how people communicate their joys, and process their sadness… and I don’t think it’s a coincidence that it’s a female thing where folks feel so entitled to police.

          • To be fair, she acknowledged when she posted about the loss that it was horrible and intensely private, but she felt she had to because of the excited post just a few days before.

  24. Jam Overload :

    I just received a bunch of nice jams in various flavors (plus some apple butter, which I’m excited to try!). And by a bunch, I mean more than I know what to do with. Suggestions for using it besides on toast or for fancy grilled cheeses? (I’ll definitely do those, but looking for other ideas too!) Preferably ones that aren’t too involved – I’m not the best at cooking and worse at baking. Thanks!

    • I know you said no baking, but the first thing I thought of was jam thumbprint cookies! It would be fun to put the different kinds of jam in different cookies to sample them. You can make them with store-bought sugar cookie dough if that’s more your speed.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      I saw a comment from you elsewhere and was very hopeful that someone just decided her moniker should be Jam Overload. Consider it, anyway!

      Wonder if you’d get tasty results spooning a little jam into smoothies?

    • Stuffed French toast with cream cheese and jam inside
      As an accompaniment to a cheese plate
      Ina Garten’s PBJ bar recipe (super easy and sooo good)
      Search a recipe site for stir-fries that use jam in the sauce (apricot and peach are good for this)
      Toast with ricotta or mascarpone and jam
      In a yogurt parfait with plain Greek yogurt, granola, and berries

    • Liquid Crystal :

      Poke cake ( google it, the pictures will describe it better than I will)

    • I don’t know what flavors you have, but peach and blackberry jams can both be reduced and used as fantastic sauces for pork. People go crazy when I serve this recipe. http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/spicy-grilled-pork-tenderloin-with-blackberry-sauce

    • Baconpancakes :

      I make a lot of jam because I get SO excited about summer fruit I just can’t help myself. Ergo, I eat a lot of jam. You’re correct in your toast/grilled cheese idea, and jam in yogurt as 11:54 anon posted is my go-to, but here’s what else I do:

      -Pour a full pint of basically any jam over chicken in a baking dish, add cut onions and carrots, add salt and pepper, cover and bake at 400 for 45-60 minutes.
      -Shake a spoonful of peach or strawberry jam in a shaker with whiskey, tequila, or vodka, and ice, add seltzer and a few drops of bitters, top with a slice of fruit. If you’re feeling fancy, add thyme to the glass before adding liquid, and burn the thyme a bit with a long lighter before adding the liquid.
      -Zap jam in the microwave to melt it a bit, pour over ice cream.
      -Add to turkey/ham and brie/goat cheese sandwiches with a bit of mustard- strawberry won’t work great with this, but most stone fruits will.
      -Add a spoonful to overnight oats in place of a different sweetener. I then add a bit of the fresh fruit it was made out of for texture if it’s in season.
      -Add to regular oatmeal.
      -Top pancakes with jam.
      -Ice cream cake filling. No baking involved. I buy pre-made pound cake and make this recipe every summer with jam. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/food-network-kitchen/peach-cobbler-ice-cream-cake-recipe-2268823
      -Pair jam with cream cheese or spreadable goat cheese on bagels or toast. This is a good way to punch up the flavor and make toast into a more filling snack.

      • Baconpancakes :

        Also this is a great resource for a million more ideas: http://foodinjars.com/category/preserves-in-action/

        Marissa is the queen of jam and I bow before her greatness.

    • Never too many shoes... :

      Spread over a wheel of brie, top with some pecans and bake.

    • sunrise burritos.

      hear me out. when i was told about them, i thought they were disgusting.

      basically:

      put a soft tortilla in egg (like french toast) and then brown in a skillet on each side.
      spread the tortilla with rasperry jam. (yes, really)
      put eggs, cheese, bacon, green onions, sour cream, salsa on tortilla.

      eat. be amazed.

      • Yes, I do egg on toast using raspberry jam.

        Toast + jam + egg(s) over easy + cheese + green onions & cilantro

        So. So. Good.

        Your tortilla in egg sounds amazing, too!

    • Jam Overload :

      This is late but thank you all so much! I’ve got some experimenting to do :) Baconpancakes, an extra thanks for that blog link – I think that will be my rabbit hole for the rest of the afternoon.

    • Anonymama :

      I like to put jam on turkey sandwiches. (Also I know you said no cooking but I put it on pork or chicken for the last few minutes in the oven and its delicious.)

    • Anonymous BigLaw Associate :

      Dollop of apple butter on top of cottage cheese or plain yogurt. Optionally add some cracked black pepper.

    • I put jam on top of vanilla ice cream. Its delicious.

  25. Happy commuter :

    I’m looking for a neutral color (probably black) flat / slip on sneaker type commuting shoe that is

    1) super comfortable (I walk a mile to work)
    2) waterproof
    3) slip on so I can throw them back on when I’m grabbing lunch on a rainy day and don’t want to ruin my nice inside shoes
    4) sleek enough to be seen by my coworkers in the elevators / hallways / if we grab coffee or travel together on a rainy day (for some reason I always get stuck traveling with coworkers on rainy days…sigh)

    Is this a unicorn? I imagine there must be some light athletic slip on type sneaker that doesn’t scream sneaker! out in this universe.

    • Tech Comm Geek :

      Skechers had a couple that looked promising to me, but I was not checking for waterproof.

    • What about the Steve Madden Ecentric-Q?

    • Might be too casual for you, but there are Clarks brand dark slip-ons with stretch laces that I use for this purpose. The Sillian looks like the closest style this season, but there was also Asney (?) and some others.

    • I am really happy with my slip on Clarks (Sillian Cala Mary Jane flat). They are nice enough to wear to my office on casual Friday and are so comfortable. Nordstrom has a couple of Clarks on clearance right now that I’m considering too. I’ve also been happy with my Propet slip on shoes, but they are more casual than the Clarks.

    • Not a sneaker, but what about Rothy’s? With an insole, I think they’re super comfortable, and they’re also waterproof (machine washable, even).

      • I don’t think they are waterproof in the sense the OP is looking for. Yes, they’ll be fine when they dry, but in my experience they are super unpleasant to wear while they are wet.

      • Triangle Pose :

        What insole do you use? I don’t need a lot of arch support but would like something. I’ve heard people love Vionic insoles but Vionic shoes are so clunky and have too much sole for my feet.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      What about the allbirds lounger? No experience but it looks like it might, maybe work?

    • Eager Beaver :

      What about the Puma Zandy or Vega Ballet?

    • I have the Cole Haan Zero Grands and they are exactly this.

    • I really like Flexx shoes. I commute in them and have worn them to cross country meets (as a spectator).

    • Joan Holloway :

      Idoni Veneto shoes. Can be treated to be waterproof.

  26. NAS workaround? :

    There are a few things I missed out on with the Nordstr0m sale that I am bummed about. I had glitches all day in trying to order 0nline and then they were completely sold out. In previous years they would always restock items for the public sale but this year the sale associates said they weren’t expecting it. Due to so many glitches in my cart, I received shoes that were too big and I need a pair in the right size, but they haven’t been restocked. Do I hold onto them (unworn of course) in hopes that when my size is re-stocked later in the fall I can exchange them for the correct size still at the NAS price? Does that even work?

    I hate that they aren’t re-stocking, meaning that essentially the only folks that lucked out were people who could go in at 10am on a Thursday or all the bloggers I see who got *actual* early access. Sigh! I’m grumpy!

    • Veronica Mars :

      Add the item you want to your cart (even if it’s the wrong size/color). In your cart, click “edit” and it will show you what sizes/colors are available. They will be adding stock back in as people return items, and it appears as an option in your cart before it appears on the product page (not by a lot, like 15 minutes or so). But this is how I snagged some leather jackets last year, I just kept checking throughout the day.

      • Agreed. There are always returns to catch. I’d keep checking if you really care. Yes, they restock some but not all items in the coming months, so there’s a good chance you can exchange sizes if you wait till after the dale. Also, a lot of the AS items will be in stock again in August and Sept and then marked down on clearance. I often snag AS items at AS prices (or lower) in Sept. I do what Veronica recommended and just keep them in my wishlist and track them.

  27. Can I get some good vibes? I have to have a tough conversation with one of my direct reports who has not been coming through on several key tasks. I despise these conversations…

  28. I am dealing with super high levels of anxiety that are very specific to my work and are making it super hard to get anything done. My doctor can’t see me for two weeks to do a referral to therapy. It’s a busy time of year and I’m a completely unproductive mess. Any advice for how to buckle down and get stuff done in the mean time? I feel like garbage about how behind I am, which just makes it harder to get anything done.

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Things that work for me:
      – bribes (I can buy [thing] if I get X done by [time])
      – exercise (I hate exercise but it really does help with my stress. and depression.)
      – check lists broken into tiny steps so you can check things off and note what you’ve accomplished.

      Good luck!

      • givemyregards :

        +1 to all of Rainbow Hair’s suggestions! I also combine one and two and allow myself to buy x thing once I have completed x number of workouts, which is a good motivator.

        • givemyregards :

          Also, the pomodoro method! And if you can’t even stand 25 minutes of uninterrupted work, you could adjust it down to 15, perhaps?

    • +1 Rainbow Hair. Also, here’s my mental trick for whenever I have a big mountain of work (heh) or a huge project that intimidates me.

      Imagine you’re climbing a mountain and are approaching the divide. (I backpack, so this works for me- choose your own adventure.) You’re tired, you’re sort of freaking out because it’s a long way down to a pool of glacier water, the path is narrow and the rocks are a little wiggly under your feet. Did I mention you’re tired? And you have blisters and all the sudden your pack feels excruciatingly heavy.

      You have two options. You can keep going and get over the divide. Or, you can …..call a helicopter to get you off the mountain, pay that bill, and have your face plastered on the news. Once in a while, a hiker truly needs to call the helicopter. But 99.999% of the time, you don’t. You just need to keep going get over the divide. You’re going to do it because you know you can, and because you’ve done it before. You always get over the divide when you hike; you’ve never called the helicopter yet and experience shows you that this won’t be the first time.

    • Anonymous :

      Are you able to take any time off at all? Even just a long weekend?

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve been there so solidarity and understanding … I think start by addressing the fact you “feel like garbage about how behind I am.” Instead, every time you start tackling something, think of how brave (yes, brave!) you are for starting something that gives you so much anxiety. And how brave you are (again, brave!!) for reaching out to get help for it, and how even braver you are to keep going even though you have to wait for the help to arrive!

      You are working and seeking help in very difficult circumstances, and I can already tell you’ll get through it because you’re reaching out for help (via multiple avenues, no less). Keep going. You’ve got this, and there is another side.

    • I’m so sorry, and I sympathize as I have been there often. The other day I was so anxious and stressed out about work, I knew I would not be able to go home and relax let alone sleep. I forced myself to go to the gym (which truly rarely happens during the week) and it honestly did help. I went late, around 9, and by the time I was done I was tired and able to fall asleep shortly after I got home. A relaxing shower after also helped. So I recommend this not as one of those annoying people (kidding) who lightly encourage anxious women to work out, but that it truly did help me. I also didn’t watch CNN while on the elliptical like I usually do because for me, the current President stresses me out. I listened to fun music and put on ESPN.

      I hope you feel better soon. Thoughts to you.

  29. Pedicure in NC :

    Paging Pompom and other Triangle folks – I’m going to Raleigh/Durham this weekend and would love to get a pedicure while I’m there but I’m totally creeped out by the all in one pedicure chair whirlpool tubs. I like to go to nail salons where they just deposit a big basin full of water at your feet, but so far yelp isn’t yielding any such places. Any chance you know of a place?

    • Aveda Institute in Chapel Hill does this. Caveat: it’s been about 3 years since I moved (was in Chapel Hill/sw Durham), so things might have changed.

      Also, I like the whirlpool tubs, and there are places that use disposable liners in the tubs, would that would ease your mind? I think La Vie Nail Spa (202 W NC Hwy 54 #402, Durham) does this, and pedicures also come with a glass of wine or other beverage of your choice (again, it’s been a couple years, things may have changed).

      • Pedicure in NC :

        Thank you! I think it’s mostly the plumbing in those tubs that skeeve me out, although I concede that my distaste for them is not totally rational.

  30. Last night, I discovered a painful ingrown hair or cyst on my l*bia. Not uncommon when I’m biking a lot during the summer, so I wasn’t going to think much of it, but it is noticeably swollen today–and now I think I may have a swollen pelvic lymph node on the same side, which just erupted today and which is noticeably painful.

    I think I probably need to call my GYN. Or am I being an alarmist?

    • Better safe than sorry! I say get it checked out.

    • a millenial :

      i would do hot compresses to help it come to a head and hopefully calm down in the meantime (i also somehow am predisposed to getting lots of ingrown hairs and cysts in my vaginal area…hate it) and also call your gyn for an appointment.

    • Step back: you just used the words “swollen,” “painful,” and “erupted(!)” to describe something on your l*bia. Plus, this seems outside your body’s norm. Go see someone, or at least call to get a read on the situation from your doc- better safe than sorry. #literalselfcare.

    • Anonymous :

      Please seek medical attention.

      It may be nothing. Or, it may be infected and that can end badly if you develop cellulitis. Also, your original bump may not be an ingrown hair. I routinely had these types of “bumps” and assumed they were ingrown hairs. They caused me many years of discomfort. My wonderful family physician eventually diagnosed a mild case of Hidradenitis Supprativa which is now well-controlled by antibiotics. Has changed my life.

      Also, the weekend is coming up and life is too short to be uncomfortable if modern medicine can make you feel better!

      Feel better soon!!!

      • Blonde Lawyer :

        Woah! Hi other person with HS! I’m super impressed you were diagnosed by your regular doc.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I don’t want to alarm you and I’m sharing this for informational purposes. I had something similar and it turned out I had hidradenitis suppurativa. A lot of doctors have never even heard of it. It is very rare and not likely what you are dealing with. But, the first doc, an actual dermatologist, thought it was MRSA and had me on crazy antibiotics before finding out it wasn’t MRSA. It kept coming back, he knew it had to go, but he wasn’t comfortable operating in that dept. My gyno wasn’t comfortable treating it. My GI ruled out some crohns complications and also wasn’t comfortable treating it. I called a general surgeon that considered it too minor of a surgery for him. I called a plastic surgeon that said he only did cosmetic work. Finally, I called a plastic surgeon who gave me stitches in the ER in elementary school in another state. He referred me to a vulva specialist in my state. This was someone who is a dermatological gynecological surgeon. She correctly diagnosed it and treated it. Part of my treatment includes being dairy free as they come back as soon as I consume any dairy.

      If you decide you need medical treatment, try to find a doctor that is part of the HS foundation or that includes HS in their practice bio. You can also ask when you call that you have an issue you want seen and want to make sure the person you see is familiar with HS to rule it out.

      http://www.hs-foundation.org/

    • GotTheTShirt :

      I had something like that. It turned out to be a cyst, something that needed treatment but generally not a big deal. I ended up in urgent care where they lanced it and prescribed antibiotics. (They also gave me a valium so I wouldn’t be freaked out by someone standing down there with a knife.)

    • lost academic :

      Call your GYN and get it checked out, but don’t stir yourself up till they tell you something. If it were me, I’d agree with your initial assumption too (when I ride a lot more especially in the summer the same things crop up but go away in about a week) – it scared the cr*p out of me till I discovered it happens a LOT to riders of all types.

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