Should Your Work Friends Include Your Assistant?

Should Your Work Friends Include Your Assistant? Do you socialize with your assistant or secretary? Do you consider him or her to be among your work friends? Or do you keep your relationship with staffers friendly but avoid turning it into an actual friendship? If the relationship has swung too far towards “friendship,” how do you bring it back to “collegial”? Reader N wonders…

How do you reformalize a working relationship with your secretary? I work in law and I have been cognizant about not talking down to my secretary, who is also a young female. I have noticed recently she has interpreted this to mean we are “friends,” which is fine. Recently, she has seemed to step up her attitude, and does not make requests of me politely. I don’t want my niceness mistaken for passiveness or that she does not need to respect me the way she does others who were not as nice.

Hmmmn… tough question, Reader N! With Administrative Professionals Day observed this Wednesday it’s a good time to revisit the issue. In general, I think it’s fine to be friendly with staffers and other subordinates, but the closer the relationship gets, the more complicated it gets. One reader wrote to us a while ago where she was the only female lawyer, and the group of female secretaries was being very welcoming — in that case, where she already had an uphill battle to be/feel accepted with the other lawyers, I think she was right to keep her distance.  Outside of that circumstance, friendship with subordinates can also be complicated because if the assistant screws up, needs redirection or criticism, or just generally needs firmer deadlines and oversight, all of that is easier to do with an arm’s length, professional relationship, without adding more intense emotions of doubt and betrayal (“but I thought we were friends” / “why is my friend betraying me”). (We had a great discussion on whether a boss should be respected vs. liked just last year.)

As to reader N’s question, how can you bring an office friendship with an assistant back to a collegial relationship? I’m curious to hear what the readers say here, but I think the answer is “very carefully.” My $.02 tips:

[Read more…]

PSA: Administrative Assistant’s Day is Wednesday!

What to Get your Assistant for Administrative Assistant's Day | CorporetteAdministrative Assistant’s Day is Wednesday, April 22 — what will you be getting your assistant? 

In the past, we’ve taken polls on administrative professionals day gifts before, talked about how and what to delegate to your assistant, and swapped stories of amazing assistants — our roundup of gifts for your assistant may also be of help to you.  Comments on our thread last year had some great ideas for what to get male assistants.

Pictured: The Light of My Life™ Bouquet by FTD®, available at FTD.com for $39-$85. 

(L-4)

PSA: Administrative Assistant’s Day is Almost Here!

how-much-to-spend-for-administrative-assistants-dayAs some commenters are noting today, Administrative Assistant’s Day is April 27 — right around the corner.  (Most flower places are touting “Administrative Assistant’s Week” as starting April 24.)  We haven’t had a thread on gifts for your secretary/administrative assistant for a while, so I thought now would be a good time for one. (Pictured:100 BLOOMS OF PERUVIAN LILIES, available at 1-800-FLOWERS for as little as $34.99.)

First, a poll:
administrative assistants day

Years ago, a friend explained to me that she always got her administrative assistant both flowers and cash: flowers so everyone in the office knows you appreciate your assistant, and cash to keep the assistant happy. My friend’s system made sense to me, so I never really looked for more than flowers — but I’m curious if other people get the assistant a personalized gift, or take him or her for lunch, or something else? Please comment in the thread about what you’re getting him or her — and how the equation changes if you share an assistant with other people.

Also, do you plan to celebrate Administrative Assistant’s Day or a full week?  Just curious…