Reader Mail: How to Wear Silk Scarves?

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Tonal Hydrangea Silk Scarf
Today’s reader mail is all about scarves… (Pictured: Tonal Hydrangea Silk Scarf, on sale at Brooks Brothers for $95.20 (was $238).)

I’ve got two silk scarves I bought because I fell in love with them, and one black tie. I never wear them, because I’ve no idea how one is supposed to wear it! Besides, can a woman in her early 20s even pull off that look without looking like an in-flight attendant? If yes, are they supposed to go on the neck under the shirt (I’ve seen that look a few times), over the shirt and under its collar? Does one knot them or just let them hang down, if one knots them – does it matter how?

We used to work with a woman who always wore the most beautiful Hermes scarves — her wardrobe was primarily black, white, and gray, and the scarves were a rich addition of colors and patterns. She had one that had elements of a beautiful, almost hot pink, and it was incredibly flattering on her, particularly so close to her face — but because it was just a scarf, and amidst other colors, no one ever would have said that the scarf was too pink or girly or feminine. We asked her about her scarves once, and she confided to us that she wore them because she found tags at the nape of her neck to be itchy. Her scarves absolutely worked for her — and although she was at a senior level, we think the fact that they worked had more to do with her body type: tall and slender. (Specifically, she would wear them with a collared jacket and collar-less sweater or tee, worn between her jacket’s collar and her tee’s collar — they were unknotted and, while we think they were generally square scarves, she wore them folded into an oblong shape.) [Read more...]

Poll: When Wearing a Collared Shirt and Blazer, Does the Collar Go Out or In?

We’ve been curious about this for a while — ever since we advised that a collared shirt should always stay IN if you’re wearing a suit, and numerous readers wrote to say that they had always been advised (by various career counselors) to wear their collars out. So we thought we’d take a poll.

For our $.02 — which purely comes from observation, as we have never heard a “rule” on it — a tucked-in collar looks better with a suit. More fashionable women tend to do it (Angelina, Madonna) when wearing a suit; and it gives them a neat, sharp look. It also puts the emphasis in the desired place, as our eyes are drawn to their face, not their clavicle or shoulders. We suppose it’s possible that there are greater rules here that we’re not aware of, for example dealing with fabric (cotton goes in, silk goes out) or the type of collar or lapel. Perhaps it’s a regional rule — e.g., in DC, collars go out with suits; in Hollywood, collars go in with suits. Either way, we thought we’d start a dialog…

Readers, what say you? Please comment, particularly if you choose #3…
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Building Your Wardrobe for the Summer Internship

picture-2We’ve had a number of requests for how to build your wardrobe for a summer internship, so ladies, this one’s for you!

Suits. Yes, you will need more than one suit, but not as many as you think. For example, readers asked if they needed 10-15 suits (and we’re hoping the person asking if they needed 100 suits either made a typo or was exaggerating). We would say you need about 3-5 suits, to be worn whenever you know for sure you’ll be seeing a partner, executive, or other VIP that day. Keep an extra suit in your office if at all possible. Your basic suits should be:

1) Your standard interview suit in black, navy, or gray. Hopefully you took our advice and got it in a seasonless fabric, and you bought a suit that had multiple matching pieces (e.g., a jacket, pants, skirt, and a dress). Get them drycleaned as soon as they begin to smell, or approximately every 4-5 wearings.

2) As many other suits that your budget can afford that are like your interview suit, but in other colors — these suits will last you for several years, so it’s well worth it to invest $500-$1000 in suiting. If you can’t afford suits as nice as your interview suit, check out sales as well as: [Read more...]

What to Wear When You’re Laid Off and Looking

We’ve been mulling this reader’s question for a while now… first, here’s the request:

My work wardrobe after 30 years is pretty set. However, I’m currently in recession mode, i.e. my job has been misplaced. I find that my non-work clothes are just not suitable for walking around in the supermarket, given that in my community (high tech in Silicon Valley) I might meet someone there who would hire me. So I want to upgrade what would be my weekend wardrobe (if I were working). Can you help? I have my dilemma posted here.  I hope this doesn’t take you beyond the scope of your blog, but once we get to the executive ranks, I have found that networking etc. can extend the requirements and definition of “professional style”.

We went to her website, and this is what she wore out to drinks with former coworkers:

business-casual-when-youve-been-laid-off

Wow.  Ok.  First, some general theories on being “laid off and looking,” as the WSJ puts it. Keep your confidence high — don’t wear sweats or other clothes that you would normally use to clean the garage.   Networking is a lot about likeability; the more a person likes you — and respects you and thinks you’re competent and cool — the more they’re going to be willing to introduce you to their friends or, should a job open up, think “Oh, let’s get X in here; she’d be great for the spot and fun to work with.”  So our advice here is kind of like advice to teenagers: act cool, and you WILL be cool. Above all, your clothes should be clean, non-ripped, and the overall vibe you should strive to give off is “I’m just running a few errands before my fabulous dinner party,” not “I’m making an emergency run to the pharmacy in the middle of the night.”

laid-off-and-lookingThat said, for running errands and lounging around the house, we recommend wearing the tightest pair of jeans that you own and fit into comfortably (so as to prevent any recession weight gain, or at least recognize it early).  They shouldn’t be skintight, but they should FIT — no elastic waists or pants that are several sizes too big for you. There is plenty of advice to be found on the Internet and in ladies’ magazines about which jeans might work for you, and a huge price range to consider (from $20 to $300+).  Generally, we would recommend finding a dark color in a bootcut or straight-leg style; if you get one with a bit of lycra in it, it will be more comfortable for hanging out around the house. Check Levi’s or Uniqlo if you’re on a budget; we’ve also heard excellent things about Old Navy’s jeans. At right: Levi’s Boot Cut 515 Stretch Jean, available at Sears.com for $29.99. If you arewhat-to-wear-when-youre-laid-off really, really not a jeans person, we would possibly recommend some bootcut khakis or pants with a bit of stretch, such as these from Gap, also at right. Again, the leg should be straight or bootcut unless you can really own the other trends out there like the skinny pants or the boyfriend jeans. (Women: Curvy flare pants – earth brown, available at Gap.com on sale for $45.)

Ok. So now that you’ve got your jeans on, let’s ditch the scrunchie. (You could burn it. Just a suggestion.) Instead, you may want to look into an understated claw or some elastics. Now, let’s ditch the sweatshirt. We would recommend wearing a well-fitting t-shirt in a basic color — black, white, your favorite color, whatever. By “well-fitting” we mean that it should skim your body (not hugging it, and not too boxy) and hit at the right spot on your hips (not too high — the belly shirt has (thankfully) not made a return since the late ’90s — and not too low, either, as the uber-low movement seems to have passed).  Again, there’s a big variety, but the stores for basics — Old Navy, Gap, Banana, J.Crew — are going to be your friends here.

Next, the shoes and the jacket, which are, simultaneously, the easiest and hardest parts. We say “easy” because this is your personality shining through, but it’s also hard just because there are so many options.  Assuming the shoes you wore at work are either uncomfortable or inappropriate for running around town, there are still a ton of feminine, comfortable options that are far, far better than white athletic shoes.  For example, some choices for the shoes:

what-to-wear-when-laid-off-1
Low Mary-Janes or ballet flats are a great look that can be worn with socks or not. Some brands to consider: Cole Haan Nike Air, Geox, Born. Pictured: Cole Haan – Air Bria Stitch MJ (Black) – Footwear, on sale at Zappos for $122 (from $168)
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White sneakers with a heavy tread are fine for working out, but there are a ton of more fashionable, sporty shoes that serve as great “running errand” shoes. Some sample brands to consider: Converse, Puma, Keds, and Asics. Pictured: Converse – Chuck Taylor All Star Ox (Purple Passion) – Footwear, available at Zappos for $45.
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There are a ton of other brands out there that might be a bit too chunky for the office, but are great for running around town and staying comfortable. Some brands to consider: Clarks, Born, Sofft, Beautifeel, and Dansko. Pictured: Indigo by Clarks – Tanzania (Light Brown Leather) – Footwear, available at Zappos for $100.

Next, a light jacket — again, there are a ton of options but pretty much anything is better than a sweatshirt.  For example:

A fitted blazer in a casual fabric — twill, cotton, even a non-blue denim — can be great for running around town. In fact, you may already have some of these in your collection. Pictured: Women: Women’s Twill Blazers – Track Green, available at OldNavy.com for $30. looking-professional-while-unemployed
Traditional ladycoats are another great option, and also available in a huge variety of price points. You’re looking for a fabric that’s breathable and machine washable, in a cut that is flattering to you — it shouldn’t be too big and overwhelm your stature, and it shouldn’t be too tight, either. Pictured: Gallery A-Line Topper, available at Nordstrom’s for $110.
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Cardigans and sweaters are another great option (and can be cleaned sporadically when worn with a t-shirt or something with sleeves beneath it). Some are even made from sweatshirt materials like fleece. Pictured: C&C California Fleece Tie-Front Jacket, on sale for $49 (was $130). what-to-wear-when-laid-off-4

Best of luck to you in your search — readers, please tell us if you have other thoughts on what to wear when you’re looking!

The Hunt: Appropriate Bags for Summer Associates

womens-briefcasesWe got this request in from a reader, and thought we might resurrect an old feature — The Hunt — in which we look for a great basic, available now, in a variety of price points. Here’s the request:

As an incoming summer associate at a large NY firm, I’ve been wondering – what kind of bag would be appropriate? I’ve been told that Longchamp is too casual, and would be interested to hear your thoughts on it. I don’t want to break the bank before I’ve even made my first paycheck, but would like something nice and versatile that will last a long time. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

We would actually disagree with that — we think Longchamp is fine for a big tote bag. It’s functional (fits a ton of papers), is made well (is strong enough to carry a ton of papers) and — especially if you get the black on black versions available in Canada or at the physical stores in New York City, quite appropriate for work. [Read more...]

Reader Mail: Semi-Formal Attire

semi-formal attireWe recently got this request in from a reader…

Hi. I have a question about semi-formal attire I was hoping you and/or your readers could answer. I have been invited to attend a law firm event (cocktails and dinner) in early April and the invitation says attire is semi-formal. I was hoping for your thoughts on what is and is not semi-formal and maybe two or three suggestions for dresses that would fit the bill. I am still in law school, so I’m looking for something I could wear to more than one occasion. I’m hoping to keep the price to around $100. Thanks!

Semi-formal: the bane of everyone’s existence. It isn’t formal, it isn’t cocktail, and no one knows what to wear. So… where does that leave you?

Our advice here is to go on the conservative side of cocktail. Your goal is Jackie Kennedy, not Marilyn Monroe (or, ahem, Romy and Michele). [Read more...]