clothing

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Tonal Hydrangea Silk Scarf
Today’s reader mail is all about scarves… (Pictured: Tonal Hydrangea Silk Scarf, on sale at Brooks Brothers for $95.20 (was $238).)

I’ve got two silk scarves I bought because I fell in love with them, and one black tie. I never wear them, because I’ve no idea how one is supposed to wear it! Besides, can a woman in her early 20s even pull off that look without looking like an in-flight attendant? If yes, are they supposed to go on the neck under the shirt (I’ve seen that look a few times), over the shirt and under its collar? Does one knot them or just let them hang down, if one knots them – does it matter how?

We used to work with a woman who always wore the most beautiful Hermes scarves — her wardrobe was primarily black, white, and gray, and the scarves were a rich addition of colors and patterns. She had one that had elements of a beautiful, almost hot pink, and it was incredibly flattering on her, particularly so close to her face — but because it was just a scarf, and amidst other colors, no one ever would have said that the scarf was too pink or girly or feminine. We asked her about her scarves once, and she confided to us that she wore them because she found tags at the nape of her neck to be itchy. Her scarves absolutely worked for her — and although she was at a senior level, we think the fact that they worked had more to do with her body type: tall and slender. (Specifically, she would wear them with a collared jacket and collar-less sweater or tee, worn between her jacket’s collar and her tee’s collar — they were unknotted and, while we think they were generally square scarves, she wore them folded into an oblong shape.)

Our own body type is the opposite — petite and curvy — and we’ve had trouble making scarves work for us, although we’ve fallen in love with (and bought) far too many. (In fact, the last time we can remember wearing one was when we wore a DvF dress and realized too late that it was WAY too low cut for the office — we tried to tuck the scarf into the neckline of the dress — faux blouse! — and wound up annoyed at how much we had to readjust throughout the day.) Readers, we’d love to hear from you — do you wear scarves? If so, how?

Check out some more scarves, below…


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We’ve been curious about this for a while — ever since we advised that a collared shirt should always stay IN if you’re wearing a suit, and numerous readers wrote to say that they had always been advised (by various career counselors) to wear their collars out. So we thought we’d take a poll.

For our $.02 — which purely comes from observation, as we have never heard a “rule” on it — a tucked-in collar looks better with a suit. More fashionable women tend to do it (Angelina, Madonna) when wearing a suit; and it gives them a neat, sharp look. It also puts the emphasis in the desired place, as our eyes are drawn to their face, not their clavicle or shoulders. We suppose it’s possible that there are greater rules here that we’re not aware of, for example dealing with fabric (cotton goes in, silk goes out) or the type of collar or lapel. Perhaps it’s a regional rule — e.g., in DC, collars go out with suits; in Hollywood, collars go in with suits. Either way, we thought we’d start a dialog…

Readers, what say you? Please comment, particularly if you choose #3…

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picture-2We’ve had a number of requests for how to build your wardrobe for a summer internship, so ladies, this one’s for you!

Suits. Yes, you will need more than one suit, but not as many as you think. For example, readers asked if they needed 10-15 suits (and we’re hoping the person asking if they needed 100 suits either made a typo or was exaggerating). We would say you need about 3-5 suits, to be worn whenever you know for sure you’ll be seeing a partner, executive, or other VIP that day. Keep an extra suit in your office if at all possible. Your basic suits should be:

1) Your standard interview suit in black, navy, or gray. Hopefully you took our advice and got it in a seasonless fabric, and you bought a suit that had multiple matching pieces (e.g., a jacket, pants, skirt, and a dress). Get them drycleaned as soon as they begin to smell, or approximately every 4-5 wearings.

2) As many other suits that your budget can afford that are like your interview suit, but in other colors — these suits will last you for several years, so it’s well worth it to invest $500-$1000 in suiting. If you can’t afford suits as nice as your interview suit, check out sales as well as:

  • outlet stores — Filene’s, TJ Maxx, Nordstrom’s Rack — all frequently have suits available for anywhere from $60-$200. These will typically be suit sets (not mix-and-match pieces the way Theory or J.Crew are) and will be in polyester blends. Try to get the most conservative suit they have that fits you well in sedate colors (black, navy, beige, gray). Watch out for details that date the suit, like puffed sleeves, Peter Pan collars, and ruffled skirts
  • large department stores — Macy’s has a huge suit selection, for example, with tons of Tahari suits available for under $150
  • outlet malls, like Woodbury (in upstate New York) or Leesburg (outside D.C.) — they frequently will have outlet stores of Banana Republic, Kasper, Tahari and Brooks Brothers, as well as larger department store outlets (like Barney’s and Off Fifth) that will have discounted suits.
  • mall stores, like Express, Limited, Victoria Secrets — they will have lower-quality suits that should at least last you a summer, although the fabrics might not wear well during the summer
  • We would advise avoiding eBay and consignment stores unless you know exactly what you’re looking for.

Other pieces. Now that you’ve got your suits, we would advise getting a few other pieces to wear as separates throughout the summer. This may sound weird (and please debate in comments!) but we would advise buying other separates — intended by the retailers as separates — for everything by below because fabrics and colors are often hard to match. For example, a pair of gray Gap pants and a black jersey sweater blazer look fine together — but a pair of gray suit pants worn with a black suit jacket just looks like you’re trying to mix things that don’t match. This may seem like a boring list, but it’s intended to be a skeletal one — your personality and tastes should fill in the rest of the picture; these are just the building blocks to get you started. Our list of these basic separates:

  • 2-3 pairs of nice trousers (not too tight, not too lose; they can be as simple as Gap or Old Navy as long as they fit well)
  • at least one pencil skirt in a basic color like black or gray
  • 5-10 nice tops to wear beneath suits or on top of trousers in flattering colors — again, they don’t have to be fancy, but they have to fit well and look nice (not washed out). If you want to be very efficient here, buy tops in the same color range as your suits — for example, if you’ve got a black suit and gray trousers, buy t-shirts in cool colors (blue, purple, green) to compliment those accessories. If you’ve got a brown suit and some nice beige slacks, get warmer colors like reds and oranges.
  • a black fitted blazer (look for one in a stretch cotton or jersey for versatility — keep it at the office to throw on in emergencies)
  • a neutral sheath dress in a flattering shape
  • at least one twinset in a good fabric (possibly in white so you can wear the sweater beneath brown/beige/gray/navy suits, and wear the cardigan over sheath dresses and trousers). If you look for a twinset that does not have a ribbed, banded bottom, you’ll have more options with it.
  • Another cardigan, possibly, in black or white

Accessories. The summer job is really more about avoiding inappropriate accessories than buying fabulous ones — as you go forward in your career you’ll want to invest the most heavily in shoes and bags. For the summer, we say that a pair of black leather pumps that you can walk in is really all you NEED. Otherwise, don’t wear:

  • open-toed shoes
  • sandals
  • any shoes that look too sexy (heeled gladiators, platforms, etc)
  • shoes you can’t walk in
  • overly blinged-out accessories (e.g., brooches with sequins)
  • bracelets
  • earrings that noticeably dangle (they should be as close to your earlobe as possible)
  • anything that makes sound when you walk down the hallway carrying or wearing it (slingbacks and mules, we’re looking at you)
  • athletic accessories — sneakers or flipflops are fine if you must for the commute, but the second you get inside you should change to work shoes — we’d also advise women to avoid backpacks and other gym bags. If you don’t have something, check out our recent suggestions for good bags.

These seem, to us, the bare basics for a working wardrobe. A final piece of advice — never walk in the hall with your arms uncovered — wear your suit jacket, sweater, or fitted blazer. Readers, what say you?

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Fuschia Sweetheart Cocktail Dresses by JAXWe are seriously behind in answering this poor reader’s e-mail — our sincere apologies!  Here’s the question:

I am a mid-level law associate and my husband is a teaching physician at a local hospital. His boss is getting married in DC in April. It is the bride’s first marriage and it will be a huge event. The wedding is at 5 and then dinner and dancing at 6 at a country club.  I have NO idea what to wear. Can I wear a black cocktail dress? I am so bad at these things and I want to make a good impression for my husband and look professional for my own benefit!  This may seem like an elementary question, but did I mention I am fashionably challenged?  (One more thing:  I am barely thirty, but my husband is a good ten years older. I don’t want to look like a airhead, but I don’t want to look old for my age either!)

Weddings, in general, are fraught with chances for fashion errors.  What is appropriate — or inappropriate — tends to be very region-specific, as well as wedding-specific.  Take your cues from the invitation — the wording of the invitation (are middle names used?  does she call her groom a “Mr.”? is “honor” spelled with a u?) and the style of the invitation (is it entirely in script?  was there an inner/outer envelope?  are there any quirky touches to it?) will give you an idea of what the bride is aiming at for the wedding.  In general, avoid wearing black or white to a wedding — we know a lot of places where black is still seen as a color of mourning.  D.C. walks a fine line between being a cosmopolitan city on the East Coast, and a Southern city — we’d avoid black if at all possible.  (If all you’ve got is a black cocktail dress, be sure to wear a very colorful, happy wrap, as well as bag and shoes.)

That said, look for a dress that isn’t too short, too low cut, too frothy, too shiny, or too bedazzled — because your husband is slightly older you may even want to go for a more demure, knee-length dress.   EDressMe.com has an entire section on “wedding guest” dresses; our pick would probably be the Fuschia Sweetheart Cocktail Dresses by JAX, pictured above (available at EDressMe.com for $195).

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We’ve been mulling this reader’s question for a while now… first, here’s the request:

My work wardrobe after 30 years is pretty set. However, I’m currently in recession mode, i.e. my job has been misplaced. I find that my non-work clothes are just not suitable for walking around in the supermarket, given that in my community (high tech in Silicon Valley) I might meet someone there who would hire me. So I want to upgrade what would be my weekend wardrobe (if I were working). Can you help? I have my dilemma posted here.  I hope this doesn’t take you beyond the scope of your blog, but once we get to the executive ranks, I have found that networking etc. can extend the requirements and definition of “professional style”.

We went to her website, and this is what she wore out to drinks with former coworkers:

Wow.  Ok.  First, some general theories on being “laid off and looking,” as the WSJ puts it. Keep your confidence high — don’t wear sweats or other clothes that you would normally use to clean the garage.   Networking is a lot about likeability; the more a person likes you — and respects you and thinks you’re competent and cool — the more they’re going to be willing to introduce you to their friends or, should a job open up, think “Oh, let’s get X in here; she’d be great for the spot and fun to work with.”  So our advice here is kind of like advice to teenagers: act cool, and you WILL be cool. Above all, your clothes should be clean, non-ripped, and the overall vibe you should strive to give off is “I’m just running a few errands before my fabulous dinner party,” not “I’m making an emergency run to the pharmacy in the middle of the night.”

picture-6That said, for running errands and lounging around the house, we recommend wearing the tightest pair of jeans that you own and fit into comfortably (so as to prevent any recession weight gain, or at least recognize it early).  They shouldn’t be skintight, but they should FIT — no elastic waists or pants that are several sizes too big for you. There is plenty of advice to be found on the Internet and in ladies’ magazines about which jeans might work for you, and a huge price range to consider (from $20 to $300+).  Generally, we would recommend finding a dark color in a bootcut or straight-leg style; if you get one with a bit of lycra in it, it will be more comfortable for hanging out around the house. Check Levi’s or Uniqlo if you’re on a budget; we’ve also heard excellent things about Old Navy’s jeans. At right: Levi’s Boot Cut 515 Stretch Jean, available at Sears.com for $29.99. If you areWomen: Curvy flare pants - earth brown really, really not a jeans person, we would possibly recommend some bootcut khakis or pants with a bit of stretch, such as these from Gap, also at right. Again, the leg should be straight or bootcut unless you can really own the other trends out there like the skinny pants or the boyfriend jeans. (Women: Curvy flare pants – earth brown, available at Gap.com on sale for $45.)

Ok. So now that you’ve got your jeans on, let’s ditch the scrunchie. (You could burn it. Just a suggestion.) Instead, you may want to look into an understated claw or some elastics. Now, let’s ditch the sweatshirt. We would recommend wearing a well-fitting t-shirt in a basic color — black, white, your favorite color, whatever. By “well-fitting” we mean that it should skim your body (not hugging it, and not too boxy) and hit at the right spot on your hips (not too high — the belly shirt has (thankfully) not made a return since the late ’90s — and not too low, either, as the uber-low movement seems to have passed).  Again, there’s a big variety, but the stores for basics — Old Navy, Gap, Banana, J.Crew — are going to be your friends here.

Next, the shoes and the jacket, which are, simultaneously, the easiest and hardest parts. We say “easy” because this is your personality shining through, but it’s also hard just because there are so many options.  Assuming the shoes you wore at work are either uncomfortable or inappropriate for running around town, there are still a ton of feminine, comfortable options that are far, far better than white athletic shoes.  For example, some choices for the shoes:

Cole Haan - Air Bria Stitch MJ (Black) - Footwear
Low Mary-Janes or ballet flats are a great look that can be worn with socks or not. Some brands to consider: Cole Haan Nike Air, Geox, Born. Pictured: Cole Haan – Air Bria Stitch MJ (Black) – Footwear, on sale at Zappos for $122 (from $168)
Converse - Chuck Taylor All Star Ox (Purple Passion) - Footwear
White sneakers with a heavy tread are fine for working out, but there are a ton of more fashionable, sporty shoes that serve as great “running errand” shoes. Some sample brands to consider: Converse, Puma, Keds, and Asics. Pictured: Converse – Chuck Taylor All Star Ox (Purple Passion) – Footwear, available at Zappos for $45.
Indigo by Clarks - Tanzania (Light Brown Leather) - Footwear
There are a ton of other brands out there that might be a bit too chunky for the office, but are great for running around town and staying comfortable. Some brands to consider: Clarks, Born, Sofft, Beautifeel, and Dansko. Pictured: Indigo by Clarks – Tanzania (Light Brown Leather) – Footwear, available at Zappos for $100.

Next, a light jacket — again, there are a ton of options but pretty much anything is better than a sweatshirt.  For example:

A fitted blazer in a casual fabric — twill, cotton, even a non-blue denim — can be great for running around town. In fact, you may already have some of these in your collection. Pictured: Women: Women’s Twill Blazers – Track Green, available at OldNavy.com for $30. Women: Women's Twill Blazers - Track Green
Traditional ladycoats are another great option, and also available in a huge variety of price points. You’re looking for a fabric that’s breathable and machine washable, in a cut that is flattering to you — it shouldn’t be too big and overwhelm your stature, and it shouldn’t be too tight, either. Pictured: Gallery A-Line Topper, available at Nordstrom’s for $110.
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Cardigans and sweaters are another great option (and can be cleaned sporadically when worn with a t-shirt or something with sleeves beneath it). Some are even made from sweatshirt materials like fleece. Pictured: C&C California Fleece Tie-Front Jacket, on sale for $49 (was $130).

Best of luck to you in your search — readers, please tell us if you have other thoughts on what to wear when you’re looking!

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picture-16We got this request in from a reader, and thought we might resurrect an old feature — The Hunt — in which we look for a great basic, available now, in a variety of price points. Here’s the request:

As an incoming summer associate at a large NY firm, I’ve been wondering – what kind of bag would be appropriate? I’ve been told that Longchamp is too casual, and would be interested to hear your thoughts on it. I don’t want to break the bank before I’ve even made my first paycheck, but would like something nice and versatile that will last a long time. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

We would actually disagree with that — we think Longchamp is fine for a big tote bag. It’s functional (fits a ton of papers), is made well (is strong enough to carry a ton of papers) and — especially if you get the black on black versions available in Canada or at the physical stores in New York City, quite appropriate for work.

However, it’s a bit doubtful that a) you’ll HAVE that much paperwork to lug around over the summer, and b) NEED to lug that much paperwork with you to or from work functions like lunches and client meetings. For your purposes as a summer associate, you should be on the hunt for a purse large enough to hold a notepad (preferably legal-sized), but not so huge that you can’t tuck it under your seat at the work-sponsored theater outing. Ideally, look for something with multiple compartments — you should be able to zipper up your personal items like make-up and feminine supplies, yet find your pens and Blackberry quickly. You’ll also want something fairly sleek — something you can wear over your shoulder (leaving your hands free for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, of course) yet keep close enough to your body that you won’t run the risk of knocking other people’s cocktails out of their hands. We’ve looked for bags in black, which can be worn with any color; if you wear less black you may want to look for a bag in white or brown. Leather looks nicer, but canvas or nylon is much, much lighter. The current trend seems to be for bags that are more vertical than horizontal; if you get one of these we’d suggest having anything you might need quickly (lip gloss, pen, business card) in your jacket pocket rather than the bag so you don’t have to dig through it — nothing’s more unprofessional than being up to your elbows hunting around your bag.

That said, it can be challenging to find this ideal bag, particularly in a reasonable pricepoint. Our first line of attack would probably be to try discount stores like TJ Maxx, Filene’s, and DSW.

That said, here are our suggestions from what we could find online…

picture-17 We like the size and unique look of this black tapestry fabric bag with leather trim. We like that there are three big compartments inside the bag, as well as multiple zippered pockets (and a spot for your cell phone!) Originally $120, currently $96 at eBags.com. Green Street Designs Handbag Sierra Madre Black Tapestry Tote Black
This one is slightly more expensive, but looks more standard and has a bit of a designer name attached to it — Ben Sherman’s briefcase. The 9″ straps are definitely big enough to put over your shoulder; we also like that it has feet, so you can set it on a restaurant’s floor without too much fear. We wish it had more by way of internal compartments, but it’ll do — especially given that it’s only $109 at Endless.com. Ben Sherman Nylon Hold All Briefcase
Ben Sherman Nylon Hold All Briefcase
Don’t be too alarmed by the neon orange — the bag also comes in a slew of other colors, including black. Again, we wish this came with more interior pockets, but we like the size, the lightweight nylon, as well as the leather accents. Available at Nordstrom.com for $325. kate spade ‘union square – simone’ satchel
We’ve heard great things about the Foley + Corinna tote — we particularly like that it can be used as a regular purse when you don’t need to carry papers with you, but it converts to a North/South tote if you need the space. Available at ShopBop for $444. Foley + Corinna Supple Mid City Tote
Foley + Corinna Supple Mid City Tote
Kooba Handbags Classic Natasha Bag in Black
We’ve been fans of Kooba bags for a few years now — the leather is so supple and the bags are thoughtfully designed — to wit, interior pouches and pockets abound here. We particularly love that the Natasha bag expands via the twist-lock flaps on the side. Was $645, now $452 at RevolveClothing.com. Kooba Handbags Classic Natasha Bag in Black
We featured this one in blue a while back for one of our TPS Splurges, but we thought we’d mention it again in black. We like that this one is definitely contained — it’s just big enough for a notepad and your personal items, which is perfect. It’s available at Neiman Marcus for $995. Marc Jacobs Casey North-South Tote picture-19
picture-16 Hello, gorgeous. If you’re in the mood for spending your first paycheck (and then some!) on a bag, we present to you: the Nancy Gonzalez crocodile-skin bag, also available in black. Available at Neiman Marcus for $3,650. Nancy Gonzalez Croc Tote

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