Long hours at the office, plus no energy when you’re NOT at the office… these are not the great markers of a lively social life. If you’re not already attached to someone, it can be a nightmare for a young professional woman to try to meet someone intelligent — which means that online dating, a.k.a. shopping for boys, is the default plan for many. There are a variety of sites out there that pander to intelligent women, so, with Valentine’s Day breathing down our necks, we thought we’d review a few… Admittedly, it’s been a few years since we’ve been out there, so if you have any new sites or methods to recommend please write in!
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Right Stuff Dating. If you’re a bit of an elitist (hey, nothing wrong with that), then this site may be great for you — its members must prove that they are graduates (or faculty members) at a select group of “excellent schools.” Most medical schools and law schools are included, as well as the usual Ivies and near-Ivies. While the site is a bit from the Cro-Magnum era, any man who signs up for this site is definitely looking for a smart woman. |
If you’re too busy to even figure out what kind of guy (or girl) you like, Chemistry.com may be for you. Anthropologist Helen Fisher and her team of scientists have designed an extensive “personality profile” for you to fill out; it matches your personality and needs with other people who have filled out a similarly complex profile. The pros: you know the guy is serious about finding a long-term relationship. The cons: set aside 45 minutes or so for the introductory profile section. DC readers: note that they seem to have a special section just for dating in Washington, D.C. (Note that this is similar to the eHarmony matching process, but without the Christian bent. (Chemistry.com is having a special, too: Three months for the price of one on Chemistry.com! You save more than 50%! |
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| We never had good technical experiences with these sites, but you may want to check them out as well:
We’ve never tried these either, but they also have a targeted audience:
Similarly, another classic dating venue for intelligent folks that we’ve never tried (although plenty of our friends have): It’s Just Lunch. |
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| Real life venues (whaaat)?:
- the “under 40″ clubs for local museums, charities, and even libraries — the membership may cost $75 to $1000, but you and a select group of other young folks can attend seminars, dinners, and even balls. For example, in New York, check out the Young Lions of the New York Public Library, or the Junior Council of the American Natural History Museum.
- gallery openings and other artistic fare. If you’re in New York, Chicago, Miami, or L.A., check out GenArt — with packages as cheap as $75, it’s a great way to get out and about.
- trivia quiz nights at bars — try Googling “trivia nights” and your city and you’ll come upon plenty of bars; NYCers check this posting on Yelp or this About.com post |
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Further Reading:
- In the New Dating Scene, The Attraction is a Beautiful Mind [WaPo]
- No Ordinary Love [Atlantic Monthly]
Ellen Parsons took interviewing seriously... so should you!
Wow, it’s the start of the interview season already for those of you still in law school. Good luck! Stay tuned; we’re going to (try) to do a lot about interview tips and a guide to women’s suits. Immediately, though, we have this question from a reader named Summer:
I am a 3L law student looking to buy a nice conservative suit for interviews. I am also a big fan of corporette! I have looked around malls and nothing seems to be nice enough. The only thing that I have found in my size online is Talbots. I also ran across the site www.mycustomclothing.com. Do you think this site is legitimate? Do you have any other recommendations?
Thank you so much for your kind words! We’re not familiar with the site, but we wouldn’t recommend going with a custom suit for a big interview unless you already had a relationship with an amazing tailor. Our best advice with interviewing for conservative jobs is that the entire goal of your interview wardrobe should be to take the focus off your appearance and put the focus where it should be: on your mind, your accomplishments, and the way you carry yourself. You can show your personality, your taste, your quirky sense of humor — whatever! — later, after you’ve got the job. That said, we might suggest adhering to some simple guidelines when buying clothes for interviewing.
- Buy within your budget. No one’s going to “ding” you on an interview because your suit isn’t Armani.
- Choose a dark suit. A black or navy suit is always more conservative than a brightly- or lightly-colored suit, and if you have to buy something inexpensive then it will hide the imperfections in the fabric and the seams.
- Buy a skirt suit. We know, we know: feminism, equality, misogyny, etc. We’re not saying it’s cool. We’re saying it’s a crazy world out there and you should go with the most conservative option available if you want the job — which for women is a skirt suit. The skirt should be knee-length or slightly above the knee. If there’s a slit in the back of the skirt, make sure that a) you’ve pulled out any threads that “closed” the slit with a big X, b) the slit doesn’t go so high that you’re showing your upper thighs or worse — if you’re wearing control-top pantyhose those control tops should not be showing, and c) if it’s an old skirt, make sure the slit isn’t in need of repair. We tend to wear dark pantyhose (“off black” or gray is our preference, for some reason) but in writing this we’ve realized we’re not absolutely sure what’s appropriate — good thing tomorrow is the poll of the week! Be sure you pull a chair over to a full-length mirror and practice sitting in the skirt suit; you want to see what the interviewer will see and make sure you look appropriate and tasteful.
- Dress for the season you’re in. If you’ve got an interview this week, please don’t go in wearing a tweed suit — you’ll look like you’re not aware of your surroundings. Similarly, if you’re interviewing in January or April, don’t go in wearing a white linen suit.
- Wear a suit that fits well. We’ve all had it happen: you gain a few pounds and swear you’re going to take it off so there’s no point in buying new clothes. Trust us, we hear you. This is one of those times that you’ve got to just suck it up and go buy a bigger size (or two), because you will be dinged for your appearance if your suit is too tight. See our Lisa Cuddy 360 Review for reference, but here are some telltale signs your suit does not fit you:
- You can’t button the jacket, or the buttons don’t lay flat once buttoned
- The skirt is “smiling” because it’s being pulled so tight across your hips
- When you walk the skirt hikes itself up because it’s too tight across your hips
- Your arms look like sausages in the jacket
- You can’t lift your arms above your head
