Reader L writes to us, wondering:
Can you do an article about how to wear brooches / pins? They always look so nice on Michelle Obama. I bought two of them and have no idea if they are work-appropriate or what to do with them…
Personally, we love brooches. (Pictured above: Nonogram Pin, available at Brooks Brothers for $29.60 (was $148).) Back around 2003 it was all the rage to wear 2-4 of them (at least, it always seemed like that’s what Stacey and Clinton were advising folks to do); now, thanks to Michelle Obama, they’ve regained popularity. We’re not sure they ever went “out of style” completely, though—in other words, if you like the way they look and Michelle Obama stops wearing them for some reason, you can still wear them.
There are lots of ways to wear brooches, obviously. On the lapel of your jacket or blazer is the most obvious place — this works best with more delicate-looking
brooches, but can be done with larger brooches as well. We’ve seen Michelle wear them as ways to keep a cardigan closed; we’d advise going with a fairly muted, large brooch (the one above is a bit fancy, but would work well for this purpose) and positioning it in the middle of your abdomen — well below your breasts. We’re a big fan of wearing a large, colorful brooch with a solid-colored turtleneck or scoopneck; wear the brooch not on your chest but in the region between your clavicle and shoulder. Finally, for work, we’d also include the brooch-as-hair accessory — if you’re doing a low ponytail or a half-up do: try pinning the brooch in your hair so it anchors to the elastic — it’ll just look like a really lovely barrette.
The more shiny/sparkly a brooch is, the less appropriate it is to work (at least, for our $.02). We’d wear these kinds of brooches to dinner parties and black-tie dinners, though; pinned to the dress at the waist (either centered or at the side), or pinned to the shoulder/clavicle region. If you have two matching brooches you like, you can try to pin them to your dress at the shoulder–we’re thinking of some old scene in a Claudette Colbert or perhaps Katharine Hepburn movie where the heroine wears a sleeveless, Grecian-type drapey dress and does this.
In general, keep in mind that the brooch — worn for work — should bring attention to your face; not your chest or your outfit.
Readers, any opinions on brooches?
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Today’s reader mail comes from someone curious about the “no bare arms” rule…
I’m soon going to be a summer associate at a relatively conservative NYC law firm (not business formal, but a notch below), and I was wondering what you specifically mean by “no bare arms.” While I’m obviously not going to go sleeveless, can I be seen outside my cube in a short-sleeved dress w/o throwing on a cardigan? Like this? Will partners look askance at a 3/4 sleeve cardigan? Do I simply need to cover my elbows?
As far as we know, the traditional rule was always that short sleeves are fine — the elbows can be showing. There is no problem with a 3/4 cardigan or even a short-sleeved blouse (like the one we featured today).
Stepping away from that particular reader’s query… we were thinking about this the other day — why this rule still exists, in this day and age. Michelle Obama appears on cover after cover wearing strapless dresses and people think, that looks totally work appropriate! And on her, it does. And there lies the rub, we think. The basis of many rules in corporate fashion is about the lowest common denominator. The no-bare-arm rule exists because it’s gauche to say no-bare-arms-unless-you-have-amazing-triceps-and-deltoids. Who would judge?* Another basis for a lot of these rules is whether a man could wear it. If you saw your male, 55-year-old boss in a short-sleeved polo or a t-shirt, you probably wouldn’t think much of it — put him in a wife beater and you’d be stuck thinking “ohmygodohmygodohmygod just act normal.” This is not to say that if you DO have Michelle Obama arms, that you’re the exception and you get to wear sleeveless dresses — but rather to explain why you cannot; you do not set the standards and you are best advised to adhere to the standards set by others. (At least until you’re the boss, at which time you can choose which rules to break.) Are the rules stupid? Well, maybe, particularly if you and your trainer have spent hours on those arms. But this is the choice that young women entering corporate America are faced with: which is more important, your career — even if it means following stupid rules — or your vanity?
* Wow, lots of reader comments, and so we’ve edited the text a bit to remove our suggestion that you might not want to see your boss’s arms if she had anything but the leanest body. Lots of interesting questions that we’ve unwittingly stirred up, though — does the rule try to avoid sizeism, or does it perpetuate it? Is our hypothesis for why the rule exists totally off base?
Just our $.02 — readers, please weigh in.
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- Michelle Obama’s on the cover of Vogue, causing Jezebel to wonder whether people are tired of hearing about Michelle Obama’s fashion choices. (We’re not!) [Jezebel, HuffPo] Meanwhile, here’s another article about the boutique she loves. [NYT]
- Forbes weighs in on what women should and should not wear to the office. [Forbes]
- Would the economy be the mess it is if women had played a bigger role? [NYT OpEd]
- Jeri Dansky reviews the book Brain Rules, which says that making time for sleep and for exercise are essential. [Jeri's Organizing & Decluttering News]
- We know a lot of our readers are lawyers — we hope none of you were hit by yesterday’s mass layoffs. If you were, our thoughts are with you!
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A while ago, we got this intriguing e-mail from a reader:
As a late graduation present, I was considering asking my folks for a classic strand of pearls. This turned out to be more complicated than I had thought. Is it (still) true that younger women shouldn’t aspire to larger pearls? I don’t want to buy a strand that will look silly when I’m in my 30s and 40s — what’s the largest I can get away with in my 20s?
The article she linked to explained that larger pearls were for older women — the largest sizes being for women “45 and up,” with the smallest sizes being intended for “older teens, 16 to 24.”
For our $.02: We love our 7.5 MM x 8 MM pearls and wear them all the time — several times a week. They stodge up a questionable outfit and make us feel like we belong when we’re at an event with much bigger wigs than us. As for the size, we would say that if you’re wearing suits you’re old enough to get this size of pearls (which, according to the website, is the last size of pearls acceptable for women under 35). Go to the store and try on different pairs — you’ll eventually find one that feels and looks at home on your neck — and THAT’S the size and length you should get. (We went with 18″ and would never look back, but if you wear button-down shirts or crewnecks frequently you may prefer to go with the tighter 16″ length.)
We would recommend splurging and getting the best set of pearls you can afford — if you can, go for the top grades of Mikimoto brand pearls, sold at finer jewelry stores. Even Zales sells a set of mid-level Mikimoto pearls. If you do end up buying this mid size (6.5 through 7.5MM), don’t consider it money spent on something you can only use for 15-20 years — another look that’s hugely popular among older women is the double- and triple-stranded pearl necklace, and you can convert a single strand necklace INTO a double- and triple-strand necklace if you want to (either by resetting the pearls or getting a special clasp to link the first necklace with a second necklace).
As for larger white pearls — 8.5MM and up — we would actually recommend going fake. You’re in good company – Jackie Kennedy, Michelle Obama and Barbara Bush have all notoriously gone for large faux pearls. (And if you want to wear them and you’re 25, go for it, we say.) (Another option that would probably carry you from your 20s through your 70s would be to really go all out and get a rare colored pearl, a la Nancy Pelosi’s Tahitian pearls. (Hers reportedly cost $80K!))
We’re curious — what are other people’s thoughts on pearls? What would your advice be for our reader? Do you wear them frequently? Did you inherit them or purchase them for a specific event, like your wedding? Have you upgraded a set recently?
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- Forbes advises what to look for in good cashmere. We agree wholeheartedly with their tip to not buy online — there’s a huge difference in quality. We’ve had some very itchy cashmere sweaters (Ann Taylor, we’re looking at you) versus some incredibly soft cashmere. The best brand we’ve ever owned for a cashmere sweater is Autumn Cashmere. Pictured at left: Autumn Cashmere Classic Crew Sweater in Black, available at Revolve Clothing for $224.
- JibberJobber has some advice for women — on how to dress for FAILURE. Our favorite tip? Wear six-inch heels. [JibberJobber] 
- TIME magazine talks about the sacrifices Michelle Obama made, including leaving her corporate law firm job. [TIME]
- On the other side of the spectrum, Sarah Palin’s sartorial choices are causing a buying frenzy of Naughty Monkey shoes and square rimless glasses. [WSJ]
- Hooray for gender equality, right? Interesting side effect: the personality differences between women and men are becoming more pronounced. [Jezebel]
- The Motley Fool has some retirement-planning advice for women. [The Motley Fool]
- Yale Law Women name their Top 10 Family-Friendly firms. [The AmLaw Daily]
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