Top Ten Corporette Posts of 2015

accessories to wear to workHappy (early) New Year’s Eve, ladies!  May you all have a fun, safe evening!  For today’s year-end review, here are the top posts of 2015 according to Google Analytics. See our previous “top posts” here!

  1. How to Style Long Hair for Job Interview
  2. Pantyhose for Work
  3. How to Wear Black and Navy Together
  4. Wearing a Dress & Blazer — Instead of a Suit
  5. Creating a Capsule Wardrobe for Work
  6. What to Wear to a Holiday Office Party
  7. Tips for Whitening Teeth and Nails
  8. How to Look Stylish and Professional at a Business Casual Office
  9. Easy Office Updos
  10. When Is It Time to Stop Wearing Tights?

Comments

  1. Sydney Bristow :

    I know there are a few people here who use YNAB. Did you see they are switching to a web-based version and going to a subscription model? It’s going to be $5/month or $50/year.

    I’m disappointed because I’ve been trying to get rid of subscription fees to save money. But I’m so entrenched in the system since I’ve been using it for 5 years that I’m going to have to suck it up and pay. I know they need to keep making money but they’re product was so great that I regularly told people about it and many friends bought it off my recommendation. Now I’m just annoyed.

    On the plus side, it might be nice to have web access to it. The other new feature seems to be that you can link your accounts and auto download transactions (I’m not 100% sure about that though). The system has always worked for me because I’m forced to manually enter things, which makes an impact on my brain. It might be a nice feature for some people though.

    • Anonymous :

      You can still keep and use YNAB4 – I think it is good until the end of 2016, and people who are using YNAB3 are reporting no major issues even without support.

      I really like the web access part – I’ll still manually enter, but it will be nice to budget and reallocate on the fly/from my office.

      Not sure what I’m going to do yet. Trying the trial of the new YNAB now.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        I’m planning to use YNAB4 in parallel in case I decide not to go with the subscription. I’m going to set up the trial this weekend.

    • I’m going to plug the alternative service I use, Goodbudget. It’s totally free (there is a premium subscription which is a lot less than YNAB’s one but I’ve been fine without it) and has phone apps for most platforms.

      • I’ve been really happy with Goodbudget, too. We’ve been using it (free version) for 2 years, and it’s made a huge impact. Easy to access our account from mine or my husband’s iphones, from the ipad, or online. Paying off the 3rd (of 4 total) student loan tonight!

      • Sydney Bristow :

        Thanks for the suggestion. I can’t imagine switching but I’m betting there are people out there looking for a new program.

        Congratulations Lyssa!

    • anon a mouse :

      I’m really irritated that they are going to a subscription model, and $5/month seems high for something marketed to people working on their finances. If it were, say, $25/year I would have a milder reaction to it. I understand why they are doing it, but still annoyed.

      I’m planning on staying with YNAB4 through mid-next year while I research alternatives. I have to imagine that there are plenty of other people who will be searching for similar options as well.

  2. Stormtrooper :

    Just wanted to say thanks to those who weighed in with books yesterday. I added at least ten from yesterday’s discussion to my “to read” list.

  3. professional affiliation :

    I hope that someone can help me, none of my lawyer friends seem to know the answer to this.

    I am signing onto an amicus brief drafted by another attorney/firm, they are seeking a professional affiliation that they can use with my name. What does this mean? they haven’t been super responsive, like I should know what this means. I’ve already given them my name, what states I am licensed in, and what professional organizations I belong to.

    My google fu is also not working.

    Suggestions?

    • Not a lawyer, but I always thought it meant the name of your employer or company. At least, that’s what I list when I get asked.

      • This is what I would think as well, given everything that you’ve already given them. It’s odd that they won’t tell you, though!

        • professional affiliation :

          I think that they are fielding a lot of emails at this point and can’t respond to all the questions (partially because their original email is unclear). I got a hold of a mentor and she helped me figure it out. I did it as below since I can’t list my employer (it’s in a personal capacity not representing my employer)

          First Name Last Name, Attorney at Law

          And that was fine. Thanks for your help!

    • I am not 100% on this but wouldn’t it be the group that you are affiliated with that would benefit from the outcome of the case?

      • professional affiliation :

        I’ve offered this, and it is not what they are needing.

      • I believe they want to have people with significant impact so are focusing on either people with names that are well known or at known organizations even if not representing that org

        • professional affiliation :

          not exactly. They want to use me, my name, but I wasn’t quite sure what they were looking for. I got a hold of one of my mentors and she steered me in the right direction.

  4. Wedding Food :

    Anyone have experience planning a vegan or vegetarian wedding? What did you do about snide relatives? Most of my friends are educated and understand the social, environmental and ethical implications of meat and are therefore happy to eat veg food, but my relatives are not. I’m not compromising my beliefs for them.

    • I didn’t have a vegetarian wedding, but it was gluten-free. When people were snide about the food I kindly told them that they could eat whatever they wanted before they came to the wedding if they didn’t like the menu provided.
      People who complain about the food at a hosted event are being rude. Just brush them off and enjoy the food you picked!

    • Senior Attorney :

      Just serve what you want and ignore the haters.

      I do, however, suggest you refrain from any discussion of the social, environmental, and ethical implications of meat with your relatives. It would be rude for guests to complain about the food, but it would be equally rude for the hosts to preach about said guests’ eating habits.

      • And pretending that “educated” people get vegetarianism and “uneducated” people don’t is snide, rude, hurtful, and likely to make your relatives defensive.

        • “Most of my friends are educated and understand the social, environmental and ethical implications of meat and are therefore happy to eat veg food, but my relatives are not”

          I’m sorry, were you asking for advice on how to handle your snide relatives or on how to stop being so snide yourself?

        • Anonymous :

          This.

        • Been a vegetarian for many, many years, and I really hate “I’m a vegetarian and therefore, I’m better/smarter/nicer/whatever than you.”

          What people eat is their own decision, not mine.

      • Basically Hash :

        I agree with both you and the anon above you. It’s one meal, and if people really need meat they should eat it before or plan to eat it after. But OP doesn’t need to be preachy and self-righteous about it. If people demand to know why they’re not being served meat, she can politely explain why she choose to have a vegetarian wedding.

      • Second. Most people are aware of these arguments, but just don’t agree with them. (And a wedding is not the place to hash them out!) Completely agree that anyone who complains is being rude, too, though. Meat, alcohol, whatever; you can do without it for a few hours.

        I love food of all sorts, and would be really interested to see what was served at a vegetarian wedding or other formal event. If you just make it sound fantastic, perhaps people won’t even notice the lack of meat.

      • Agree with Senior Attorney. Just serve the food and avoid the lectures. If pressed for a reason why there is no meat, just say that you and SO do not eat it.

        • Wedding Food :

          I’m actually not preachy at all. Very few people know I’m a vegetarian, even my boss who sees me eat vegetarian food every week forgets. The only thing that sets me off is when people ask why there isn’t “real” food.

        • Somehow my posts aren’t going though. Very few people actually know of my eating habits, I don’t preach at all. The only thing that sets me off is when people say it’s not “real” food

        • Wedding Food :

          Very few people actually know of my eating habits. The only thing that upsets me is when people say that I don’t eat real food

      • Basically Clash :

        My initial name tweak put my comment in moderation, oops! but I agree with you and anon. It’s one meal, it doesn’t have to be their favorite food and if they need to eat meat they can have it before or after, depending on when the reception is. But if someone has a problem with it, OP can politely explain the choice without being preachy or judgmental . . . well, she can judge them for their bad manners, but not their food choices.

    • No experience bc I’m single, but if I ever get married and actually have a wedding it will be vegan food only. Guests who don’t like it (relative or not) are free to stay home. You do you. Vegan food is delicious, and anyone who who is snide about it is ignorant.

    • I just wouldn’t tell them the menu and they can see when they get there. But you should also stop being so sanctimonious about it. That would probably help too.

      • I’d eat anything if I’m not paying for it. I prefer steak tartare but that’s never an option. My fiancée says I’d eat a moose and guess what, he’s right!

    • Serve a delicious and bountiful vegetarian meal, perhaps taking care to include something the feels accessible to unadventurous eaters, like a pasta with vegetables, or a potato dish, as a choice.

      Don’t bring up the meal or discuss it in advance.

      If anyone asks “yes of course it will be vegetarian and delicious! I’m sure you will find something to enjoy.”

    • Anonymous :

      I am sure they are just reacting to you being obnoxious about it. (I say this as a vegetarian, who had a vegetarian menu). Just stop being sancimonious about it, and serve a delicious meal like you would at any menu. I think it helps if some of it is familiar- so not all quinoa but something like a vegetarian lasagna or eggplant parm, etc.

    • KS IT Chick :

      I’m fine eating vegetarian for a few meals, but I am one of those folks who really needs to know if there are soy products or other legumes in my food. I am severely allergic to those proteins (last reaction was sitting on the line of anaphylaxis), and I would prefer not to have to interrupt a wedding reception with a 911 call and ambulance ride after using my Epi pen.

      I might get a little peevish if 1) I didn’t know ahead of time that the reception would be vegan so that I could have something in advance; 2) the food wasn’t labeled with ingredients so that I could avoid what would make me sick; and/or 3) someone got snotty about my health issues conflicting with their ethics.

      • Anonymous :

        If you have an allergy, especially a life-threatening one, it’s on you to tell people about it. Certainly a bride should accommodate guest allergies but having veg or vegan food isn’t a reason you should have to warn everyone in advance. People with food allergies should notify the host. There is soy and legumes in non-veg food too.

      • If you have a life threatening allergy you make that known in advance and speak to the catering staff about ingredients. Whether you’re at a vegan wedding or an omnivorous one.

    • Why are you inviting these uneducated, unethical clods to your wedding? Do you like them?

  5. For those still doing their charitable contributions, I took advice from here and funded a project through donors choose dot org and got matching from the Gates foundation with code snowflake. Also, planned parenthood has triple matching for donations made today.

    • I was able to complete three projects in my local schools for a few hundred dollars each. My favorite was a set of science fiction books for second graders. The projects were set to expire today if not funded, so it felt really great to push them over the finish line.

    • Thank you for the heads up re: PP! Just made a donation.

  6. As a single 35 year old lawyer, I found this Modern Love post oddly uplifting:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/03/fashion/single-and-surrounded-by-a-wall-of-men.html

    Here’s hoping that the wonderful women in this community are lucky in love in 2016.

  7. Yesterday’s post about the pros/cons of aging childless by choice got me thinking. I am just shy of 50 and have kids (two teens). My three best friends are all single, roughly my age, and don’t have kids. One friend tried with her ex husband but wasn’t able to conceive. The other two are truly childless by choice.

    I love these women, obviously, because they’re my best friends. And they’ve all three been great “aunties” to my kids. I am sure all three will be fine in their independent dotage as well.

    But there’s this thing that it’s hard for me to describe- I think having kids is what really made me a grown-up, and my childfree kids never really got there. Each of my friends in her own unique way still expects to be treated like a “princess” – both by their friends and the men they date. One friend has had a string of bad relationships with divorced dads because she gets bent out of shape when they prioritize their kids. Another friend gets super pouty when everyone she knows does not make a huge big deal out of her birthdays. It’s child-like. You can maybe get away with this princessy stuff when you’re in your 20’s (maybe) but it’s not cute at 50.

    • And I know plenty of married people who expect to be treated like princesses/princes, are not in touch with their emotions, and have kids but don’t act like grown-ups at all. Please don’t use anecdata to diagnose all single people as childlike and selfish.

      • Edit: …to diagnose all *childless* people as childlike and selfish, not single people.

      • Anonymous :

        + 1. Having children in no way automatically qualifies you as a ‘grown-up’. Many, many people have children and still act like immature and selfish princes/princesses. And plenty of us that haven’t chosen to reproduce manage to have fully functioning, emotionally mature, adult lives.

    • Yep. It is not selfish to not want kids. But having them helps make people more selfless, in general.

    • I think that may be true for some people. I think there can be other impetuses though that cause people to grow up – caring for aging parents, loss of a loved one, etc. I also know mothers who are still immature and expect to be treated like princesses.

      • Sydney Bristow :

        People grow up in all sorts of ways. Or don’t ever grow up. I think it’s due to a lot of different factors.

      • Seriously, one of the most princessy women I know is a mother of two.

        • Anonymous :

          Yeah, my only friend who still makes a big deal about her birthday is actually my only friend who is a mom. The rest of us (childless folk) grew out of it in our mid-20s like normal people.

          • Anonymous :

            Ha! Because everyday is your birthday! As a mom, she wants one day to herself.

          • Anonymous :

            I met her when she was 18 and she’s made a big deal about her birthday every year since. It’s not a recent development as a result of not getting any time to herself since becoming a mom. She’s just a princess and motherhood didn’t change that one bit.

          • To anonymyous at 6:52- Also, everyday is your birthday if you’re not a mom? Like the labour we (the child-less) do isn’t real work because it isn’t motherhood? There is work and labour and giving that is valid and difficult that isn’t motherhood. My life isn’t some endless birthday party because I don’t have a child in it. This mommy self-pity really frustrates me.

    • Jesus. Having kids sure didn’t teach you to quit making judgments based on anecdata. You know what childfree people are over? Sanctimonious mommies (they even made a portmanteau about it- sanctamommies!!) who believe that they have matured so dramatically and are now so selfless because they had kids, while they sit there and yammer on and on about Junior’s prodigious piano talent and how Baby is finally sleeping through the night and latching!! and the trials and tribulations of how *haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard* it is to be a mom. Boo.hoo. Not to mention being late and cancelling plans because of the kids. Just like the other anon, I know plenty of married people and people with kids who behave like children.

    • professional affiliation :

      I think that you are pushing a correlations rather than coincidence. Just because your friends have different values/priorities, it does not mean that it is because they are all child free.

      • Anonymous :

        Another thing they all have in common, in addition to being childfree, is they are all your best friends. Perhaps, despite the exalted state of wisdom bestowed upon you by motherhood, you have simply chosen to surround yourself with pouty, child-like princesses?

    • This is such an unbelievable judgmental post that I don’t really believe having kids made you grown-up. Made you sanctimonious though, that’s for sure, but maybe you were already like that before you had kids. You might want to do another round of thinking in this. The first round was a failed attempt.

    • Just because it took *you* having kids to stop being a princess hardly means that every woman is the same way.

      But actual grown-ups understand that people arrive at maturity via different paths. For me, it was having much-younger siblings who can and should be the priority. But I didn’t spend high school and college snotting down to people who never had to change their siblings’ diapers.

    • Hmmm yeah out of the large pool of people I know, I would have actually described the opposite correlation. Those with kids tend to be more turned much more inwards while those without tend to be turned much more outwards. Honestly, that seems to be more logical to me, given that having kids is a huge commitment of time, energy, and money, and by necessity tends to reduce people’s ability to engage with the community around them.

    • I think it’d be accurate to say that you’ve observed some people (including yourself) mature through the process of having kids. That has no bearing though on the fact that there are people who have kids and are still a mess. Or that some people don’t have kids and manage to become perfectly well-adjusted adults without them.

      And I echo what someone mentioned above. If you’re finding that you’re looking at your three closest friends with what sounds like disgust, it may be time to both rethink those friendships and rethink why you were attracted to those friends in the first place.

    • I’m sure that your experience is what you say it is. And I am certain that having children creates a certain maturity. But I have a different perspective as a 40+ and child-free woman. I have no expectation of being treated like a princess under any circumstances. I never have. I am financially independent; I own my car outright; I care for two animals responsibly; I have a demanding job that I’m good at, take seriously, and show up to regularly that requires me to tell other people what to do; I manage relationships with others in a mature and responsible way; I pay my bills on time; I do self-directed charitable work; and I carry my own groceries and luggage, mow my own lawn, trim my own hedges, fix broken windows, clean my house, cook my meals, get my car serviced, etc. I don’t even understand the concept of being upset that I don’t come first in someone’s life if they have kids or, say, a job. My birthday is coming up and I won’t celebrate in any way until February because everyone is busy and the thing we want to do is in February. Some years it just goes by. I’m fully functioning as an adult in every aspect of my life. But I do find that since I don’t bear some of the markers that society considers to be what makes one an “adult”, like being married, having children, and owning a house, people often don’t treat me like one. And I’ve seen plenty of mothers throw temper tantrums and whine about lifting heavy things . . . like strollers. I think you just found wonderful, childless, but princess-y friends.

    • Here is an interesting article (about a book I think I might like to read) that asks whether remaining child less is hedonistic, and whether that’s a bad thing.
      http://theweek.com/articles/548430/selfdeception-intentionally-childless

      • Anonymous :

        I think the article glosses over the reasons for childlessness, which impact the validity of the points it is raising. It assumes childlessness is chosen for pleasure (as defined in the article). There are many other options, including people who cannot conceive, people who have medical issues they do not want to transmit to a child, and people who have medical issues that make parenting unfeasible.

        It also makes a frw other assumptions that i might take issue with.
        -All children, and therefore all people, bring additional good to the world.
        -Having children is a sacrifice of pleasure for all people.
        -For everyone who does sacrifice pleasure to have children, that sacrifice is equal.

        • I agree. I don’t think, for most people in our society, having children is a sacrifice they make for the betterment of society. People have kids because they want to. I want to have kids and therefore I will, if I am able to and get the opportunity. But I’m not doing it for you.. I’m doing it for me, for my legacy, and for my fulfilment.

        • Amberwitch :

          I agree – for some people not having children is a sacrifice. I know people who have chosen not to have children, or limited the number of children they had, because they were concerned with the population pressure on our planet. Sounds a it more noble than chasing hedonistic pleasures:)

    • It sounds like you’re bad at picking friends.

      • Or her friends are bad at picking friends. Last thing anyone needs is friends who think they’re childish, spoiled and princessy.

    • Anonymous :

      Funny, my experience has been the opposite. I grew up in flyover country and had plenty of opportunity to get an education and have a career, but the culture was definitely to stay in the same small town and start having babies at 20 (there’s a Kacey Musgraves song about this…). Part of it is that these girls had never really tried in school, sports, or other activities, so didn’t have much to derive their self-worth from other than male interest. Because the boys were always the flavor of the week type, they particularly liked the idea of a baby “to always love them.” The result is a lot of classmates who had 3 kids by 25 and (years later) are still frozen in a childlike state where they feel like they need someone to take care of and the child is just a cute little accessory to instagram. If that’s what you’re saying selfless maturity means, I’m going to have to summon Inigo Montoya.

  8. Comfortable undies advice?

    I seem to be increasingly sensitive to exposed elastic on any garment, particularly the leg bands of my undies, which give me red welts to the point of blistering.

    Has anyone experienced this? If so what styles/brands have you switched to?

    I’m against t hongs due to repeated UTIs when I wore them.

    • Are the welts hives? If so, take a zyrtec and they should go away. I have found that wearing different styles (bikini, hi-cut, boy shorts, granny) helps recovery. I also take off my underwear when changing from work clothes to my lounging-around-the-house clothes after work instead of at bedtime.

      • You can also try changing your laundry detergent or running them through an extra rinse cycle.

        Another thing to try is to go a size up.

    • Late reply, but we discovered my son developed a contact allergy to a certain type of plastic when he developed red welts that blister every time his skin is exposed to it. If it continues, you may want to talk to a doctor about it.

      • Thanks, I have done some reading and have found this reaction could be a form of latex allergy. My sister has a latex allergy and some of what I’ve found says it could run in families. I will definitely talk to my doc. Thanks for the input.

    • None of my GAP undies have any exposed elastic – super comfortable!

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