Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind?  Chat about it here.

I don’t know if it’s a byproduct from growing up in the 80s, but here’s my dark, deep secret:  I often look at leather pants and think, “those are so hot.”  I’m told they’re horrible to wear, but somewhere on my fashion bucket list, there’s a hot pair of leather pants in there.  Anyway:  while browsing ShopBop I found these amazing GREEN leather pants.  Green leather!  And they’re cropped!  They’re kind of blowing my mind right now (more in a “whoa, these exist” kind of way than a “must have” kind of way), and I had to share. They’re, um, $875 at ShopBop.  Alisa Leather Pants


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  1. I ripped my pants putting them on this morning. This job (biglaw for just over a year now) has not been good on my figure or wardrobe. I need to lose the added weight NOW. I’ve done Weight Watchers in the past, but don’t like thier new system. I really need to get over the stigma of eating home-made stuff/diet-ish food for lunch. Any advice on that from the group? Everyone here goes to the firm cafeteria and its the social time of the day. I feel sooo fat :( Anyone tried anything useful?

    • Sparkpeople! It’s a free online weight loss site that has menus, workouts, and tons of support! I lost 35 pounds just by following the program (track your food, cardio, strength training, and motivation)

      • Anonymous :

        Ditto Sparkpeople!

      • Third! Helped me loose 30 lbs, and I’ve kept it off for 3.5 years. And, I still participated in weekly treat day at work while loosing. Great program, and free!

        • Can't wait to quit :

          Fourth – love Sparkpeople. I could never stick w/ WW because I didn’t get enough to eat, but Sparkpeople is adjustable so you can lose weight slowly if that’s what it takes for you. As for wanting to go to the cafeteria to be social – why not eat a small, home made something at your desk, and then just go get a cup of coffee for the social part?

      • I am always interested in WAYS to loose weight. I was SO busy doing EBT’s today that i am JUST getting to the HIVE to say HELLO.

        Anyway, the manageing partner says I will be getting a $5,000 raise!!!!! YAY!!!!!

        Evedentely, he like’s how I do EBT’s, and want’s me to recrueit NEW CLEINTS!!!!!!

        But I do NOT want to have to SCHMOOZE with POTENTIEAL CLEINTS. FOOEY on that!

        I have to work alot this weekend on new EBT’s. FOOEY!

        • Ellen’s juxtaposition of a professional woman with a big job and a big boss who pays big money for serious professional work to a women who hasn’t even mastered the basics skills of spelling, writing conventions, electronic social discourse (highlighted by her use of the trademark “fooey”, a word that no one actually uses), and employee-employer relations flies in the face of everything we are taught to strive for as women and teach our daughters vis-a-vis social correctness, academic perfection, and trying to conform and fit in. As Ellen’s character demonstrates, these conventions are not where the sparks of true creativity and innovation reside. What a great demonstration of how the creation of a character can be an extraordinarily powerful and thought provoking teaching tool above and beyond anything that can be simply said with words.

          • Not sure if you’re a regular Corporette, but I had thought I was the most scholarly of Ellen’s followers until now! Good to see that someone else shares my inexplicable need to close-read her.

            I share your opinion that Ellen’s persona is an illustration of irony. I would add to your profile: she talks a big game about being independent and respected as a woman, but also harps constantly on her need for a boyfriend/husband (to pay her bills), need to lose weight, and inability to do things like math or taxes (thus needing either Alan or her father to take over). Her posts are also, often, incoherent or totally non-cohesive in their various points. I think “she” is probably making fun of us, but it’s very artistically done in its own way, and she’s so absurd that I don’t think many people are earnestly offended. Generally the three responses I see from Corporette readers are: 1) ignore; 2) play along; 3) tell her she’s lame and to stop. I can understand each of these responses. I wish she provided more variation and sharper humor, but even as-is I feel like she serves a purpose that defies categorization.

            About once a week I Google her full “name”–Ellen Barshevsky–to check out what she has written on other blogs. She has a very consistent voice. I think it’s possible that the troll/blogger who got kicked off the ABA online site in 2008 is NOT the same person(s) we’re dealing with now, but even if so the new torch-bearers are being fairly loyal to the original.

            I actually find some solace and inspiration in Ellen’s account of life. I hope she is not so obtrusive as to seriously bother readers who don’t like her, and I also try to moderate my own engagement with her because I know that many readers (validly) see this as “feeding the trolls.” I have encouraged her to solve this problem by starting her own blog, but am not having any luck.

          • I love that the two of you have taken the time to deconstruct Ellen (teh Ellen?). Well done, ladies.

    • Whoops, I totally missed the “reply” button! I responded like two posts down! Sorry!

    • AnotherLadyLawyer :

      Ditto the concern about the stigma, but mine is more focused on having to reject offers to leave the building to pick up lunch. What seems to work for me is blaming it on a New Years Resolution, no matter what the real reason is — looked at my Amex bill, realized how much money I spend on food (NYC, so it’s outrageous) and am now attempting to be “good” by bringing in my food. Everyone says “Oh, I should do that!” No one needs to know it is “diet-ish” or homemade because you’re sticking to WW or your own plan. Another option? Eating lunch at your desk, but circling back with the people you’re close to in the office for coffee or a walk around the block in the sunshine in the afternoon. I’d much rather have a 3pm social pick-me-up!

    • Equity's Darling :

      Lose It. iPhone app, lets you scan food items you’re eating, also free.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      There’s a stigma against eating homemade food for lunch? Well, shoot. Could you bring your homemade nice lunch with you to the firm cafeteria so you can still socialize? I bring my lunch every single day. Saves money both in terms of not buying food out and eating up the food we have, saves calories because restaurant portions are big even if they are healthful, and saves time. My colleagues don’t mind that I bring my glasslock downstairs while they go buy food – just one of my personal quirks they are used to, I guess.

      I also have a no-office-treats rule. None of the random pastries/cakes/cookies that get brought in, ever. I may take it and wrap it in a napkin to be polite to “eat at my desk” if someone insists, but I will throw it away immediately. Not worth the calories.

      And no liquid calories. I drink water, or unsweetened tea. No soda, no juice, no “enhanced water.”

      • The “no office treats rule” has just been adopted by me. Thank you! I generally don’t partake, but I do have weaknesses for some select items that show up from time to time.

      • This rule was one of my New Year’s resolutions. It worked for about a week, and then people started bringing in king cakes for Mardi Gras :-) Somehow it’s sooo much more difficult to give up yummy seasonal treats than it is to pass on grocery store birthday cakes.

        • I started just telling myself that I don’t eat/like king cake. I generally don’t like sweet yeast dough baked goods and the copious colored sugar turns me off, so it’s been fairly easy. I hadn’t eaten any in years. But I have to admit that I fell off the wagon on Monday for a fabulous moist iced king cake with lots of cinnamon and a creamy filling. Unfortunately I was really hungry.

          • Hope it was at least from Gambino’s and not the Winn-Dixie. :)

          • You know, I don’t know where it was from. I can’t imagine Winn Dixie and since Katrina, the only Gambino’s is way out in Metairie. I’m thinking maybe it was Whole Foods. But I know it was good.

    • Join the cafeteria crowd but only get coffee and a piece of fruit. Explain you’re working on eating several small meals throughout the day (assuming someone even comments–they may not really care and, after a time, everyone will know that’s all you get everyday). Then eat your homemade lunch at your desk 90 minutes later when you’re hungry again. Cheaper and more healthful, while still participating in the social time.

    • Lean Cuisine. I try to make my own healthy lunch but sometimes it’s just easier to pop a frozen meal into the microwave. I keep a week’s worth in the office fridge and don’t have to think about counting calories when I’m in a hurry.

    • Buy a diet soda/water from the cafeteria and bring your own food from home? Then you could socialize and still be sure you’re eating a reasonable meal. My old office had a cafeteria and I ended up doing that because the healthy options just weren’t working for me.

      • I recently started bringing my lunch at least 4 days, but found a cute lunch box at laptoplunches.com, so I don’t feel as badly about it!! A few other friends decided to do it, too, so there is now a small group of us who pack, but we sit with others in the “common area” who also buy. I follow a low carb type of diet when I want to lose weight so with the little laptop lunch containers I can pack a salad with berries, some ham/cheese rollups, veggies w/ dip, and some air popped popcorn.

    • I’ve lost 38 pounds on spark people. Love it.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve learned to get over it and take my own lunch to the cafeteria. It’s awkward the first few times, but I’ve recently discovered I have a mild wheat intolerance, and so it’s just much easier to bring my own. People’s reactions will be the hardest thing to deal with, but instead of overdrawn explanations or feeling guilty about it, attack it head on and say, “I whipped up a great risotto for lunch today! I’ll go snag us a table by the windows.” If they ask, say you’re feeling sick of processed foods and want to try something different.

      I find it’s easiest to stay on track if I keep my mini fridge and office stocked with basics (baggies of veggies, apples, oranges, cheese sticks, popchips, etc) and then just bring my entree with from home. I buy apples and oranges in bulk, and I cut up and portion out veggies into snack-size baggies on the weekend. I cook a lot, and it’s satisfying to make my co-workers jealous of whatever I’m having for lunch. I do avoid carrying a tacky lunch bag – invest in some good, heavy duty tupperware that seals well and won’t stain. Throw it in a tote or purse. I personally haven’t gotten any pushback from my coworkers, though I was upfront with them about the wheat issue. They even like it that I can go find us a table and save it while they load up their overpriced caesar salads and wait in line. You’ll save money, stay healthy, and best of all, you won’t miss that important social time.

    • I am curious about the stigma you mentioned against bringing in your lunch. When I bring in my lunch I feel like I won the battle for the day against the overpriced lunch spot across the street, but my husband, who make less than I do, refuses to ever bring in food to work for lunch. The funny thing is he enjoys cooking and sees it as a sign of affection. He does 99% of the cooking at home, and when we put away our dinner leftovers, he lovingly puts together TV dinner-sized portions for me to take to the office for lunch.

      • Maddie Ross :

        This is my husband, too. Drives me nuts. I bring my lunch nearly every day (unless I have pre-arranged plans or I’m running super late). My husband goes out every day, even if it’s by himself. He says he needs the break, though I’ve never figured out why eating Subway is more of a break than a turkey sandwich and carrot sticks.

        • MeliaraofTlanth :

          because you get that nice little break for the time it takes you to walk/drive to the Subway and back. I admit that while I try to bring my lunch, I usually break down and go out to get lunch at least 2 days a week for this exact reason. I just need to leave the office (and don’t drink coffee, so I don’t have that excuse for a midafternoon break)

      • This was my husband when he worked in an office. He hated his co-workers asking him questions about his lunch, even just innocuous things like “oh, that smells good, what is it?” These are people he worked with regularly, and generally liked, and it’s not like he is shy in general. He just has a hangup about feeling cross-examined on his lunch. Being familiar with some of those reactions/questions as a lunch-bringer myself, it can be a little off-putting when people use it as an opportunity to question your eating habits, or as one of those all-about-them “compliments” (“oh, you’re so good that you do that; I could never do that; how do you find the time?”). I agree with the word stigma, but it’s a strange stigma, because in my experience most people do recognize the many reasons and value that comes from packing lunch. So the stigma is sort of one that you’re a weirdo for actually prioritizing and acting on those reasons, like you’re a show-off or something. At least, that’s how I’ve experienced it — even though my food from home is not much to show off!

    • SoCal Gator :

      I found MyFitnessPal to be a great companion to the medically supervised weight loss program that I followed. If you have major weight to lose (30 pounds or more), this program is and was for me a life saver. My program was through HMR.

      But if you just need to lose less than that, MyFitnessPal helps you set daily calorie and exercise goals, you can track all of that and it has an incredible support community. Check it out. It can be used online though a computer and/or through a smartphone or iPad (and they all sync). Even now on maintenance, MFP is a permanent part of my life (to make sure I keep the weight off).

    • Weight Watchers also has a Core system- no points. You could check into it. It’s more for people who don’t want to do the tracking and prepared food route.

    • Everyone has been mentioning diet, but don’t forget that exercise is super important too! If you’re really busy all the time you can still do one of Jillian Michaels’s workout videos – they’re only 20 mins each!

    • What about a salad for lunch each day? They must have salads – I don’t mean potato salad or pasta salad – you know what I mean. Or else a small sandwich, or half a sandwich and a cup of (non-cream) soup. Then do you heavy dieting at dinner time – a piece of fish, two cooked veg. It’s important to start the dsay with a decent breakfast – half a grapefruit, one egg, piece of toast or equivalent. (I used to be the diet person in an internal medicine office.)

  2. I, too, like leather pants, but not in this cropped version. $875 to look stumpy, no way!

    But this pair could totally work for corporettes leggy enough for the cropped style.

    • Actually I’m told that everyone in Denmark has a pair of leather pants. For those times when the winds whoosh over from Siberia :-).. Then, you’re very glad they’re hot.

  3. Anonymous :

    Does anyone have any experience with C.Wonder clothes? Fit? Quality? I’m admiring a sweater online but debating paying $78 for something that is 45% nylon.

    • I went into their store recently and was not too impressed. Some of the items weren’t bad, but some were kind of cheap feeling/lo0king when you looked closely. More so for accessories and home items (horrible, thick porcelain, etc.), but I don’t think I’d go in again. Felt like a discount version of Tory Burch (the company is actually from her ex-husband and I think she may be involved, too).

      I’d check the return policy before placing my order.

  4. My SO and I are going on a 5-day vacation in March. I am on the West coast and we are looking for: quick flight, sunny, relaxing and on the beach. Right now we are looking at either the Hilton Los Cabos or Hanua Kai Resort in Maui. Any one ever stayed at these resorts? I would love some reviews/experiences. Thanks!

    • I didn’t stay at that resort, but I don’t think there’s any way to go wrong with going to Maui. Seriously, its amazing. If I lived on the west coast I’d go all the time.

      • Funny, I used to have to go to Hawaii all the time in college (sports, no real “fun time”) and while it’s pretty, it’s not one of my favorite places. Now, St. Maarten, Barbados?? Yes please!! If I lived on the east coast I’d go all the time!! :-D

    • I have not stayed at either resort, but we stayed at the south end of Kaanapali Beach in Maui and I went running past the Honua Kai Resort every day. It looks gorgeous, and is in a great location on North Kaanapali (north of Black Rock). You can walk on the walking trail along the beachfront to Black Rock, around the Sheraton, and to Whaler’s Village for different restaurants, bars and shops. Long story short . . . I’m biased, b/c I love Maui! (West Coaster here, and to date I’ve talked myself out of Cabo in favor of Hawaii every single time . . . .)

      One thing to consider if you want to do some ocean swimming (in addition to sunbathing and drinking fruity drinks poolside, which I’m sure is an activity available both places) — Kaanapali is eminently swimmable, whereas I understand that there are few, if any, swimmable beaches in Los Cabos/Cabo San Lucas (rocks, riptides, etc.).

      • Also . . . Honua Kai is relatively recent construction; it’s one of the newest resorts on Maui.

        • If you go to Maui, definitely go to Merriman’s for dinner one night! Amazing food and amazing wine list, and if you time it right, you can have drinks first out on a beautiful terrace on the rocks watching the sun set. . . .

    • spacegeek :

      Cabo is great if you are a party type. Hawaii is more laid back, and Maui in general is my favorite island. Either is great. Hawaii will be more expensive hands-down. Our vacations are always beachy–we work so hard that mostly I just want to sleep and read and do nothing when on vacation. Puerto Vallarta, Manzanillo, La Paz and Cozumel are all places we’ve been. Kauai feels more wild than Maui, and Hawaii is amazing but stay on the dry Kona side…

      Wish I could help you with those specific resorts, but I don’t have experience with them. Kaanapali is my go-to for Maui. Def consider staying by Black Rock. Good luck and enjoy!!

  5. Ugh –

    Personally, I’m not a huge fan of cooking and I don’t have time to prepare meals every night. Generally what I do is spend some time on the weekend making some larger food items (think lasagna, pot pie, a spaghetti squash, etc.), then I store leftovers in individual serving size containers in my fridge. This makes it easy to grab one container (plus a couple pieces of fruit) in the morning when I run out the door.

    I also try to store some snack foods in my office like fresh fruit, nuts, & oatmeal. The problem at my firm is that we have “birthday tables” where the support staff brings in loads of baked goods and doughnuts and leaves a table next to the office of anyone celebrating a birthday that day. Having some healthier options in my office helps me avoid the downfall of that table.

    Not sure if this helps, just my strategy!

    • How do you prepare the spaghetti squash as a whole meal? I’ve only ever done it as a side dish.

      • Not sure about Rachel, but I do it in lieu of pasta. E.g.,
        http:[email protected]/276955/seasonal-produce-recipe-guide#/262285

      • Tired Squared :

        I often use spaghetti squash to replace the pasta in a main dish. It took some trial and error to cook it properly (as opposed to throwing dry pasta in a pot of boiling water) but it’s definitely worth it!

  6. MeliaraofTlanth :

    Leather pants: hot in the temperature sense, too, and not that easy to move in. (I assume. I’m guessing from wearing chaps for horseback riding). Every time I see a movie poster with the lead female in leather pants (like all the Underworld movies and The Matrix are what immediately spring the mind), my though process is “how can they possible run and chase the bad guys in that? They’d die of a heatstroke.”

    • These pants make me giggle. I mean they’re leather. And green! And cost $875!!! I love it….I think Kat might just be trolling us a little today.

    • Also…have you seen the episode of Friends where Ross buys leather pants. If not — well, you should. It would reaffirm your belief that they are impractical for saving the world or chasing bad guys.

      • Equity's Darling :

        I LOVE that episode!

      • Classic episode!

      • MeliaraofTlanth :

        I’ve never actually seen any episode of Friends (no idea how I missed it, but I did)… but I’ll look that one up tonight.

        • Tired Squared :

          Friends was one of my all-time favorite shows a few years ago, but there are quite a few episodes that I re-watch now and just don’t think are funny.

          That said, the one with Ross’ pants (called “The One with All the Resolutions”) is hysterical. Since you’ve never seen the show, I’d also recommend “The One with the Prom Video,” “The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy,” and “The One Where Everybody Finds Out.”

          • i like the one where they try to carry the couch up the stairs. I still think of it whenever I hear the word ‘pivot.’

            “Pivot! … Pivot!!! … PIVOT! …. PIV-OT!!!”

          • My favorite is “The One Where Ross Got High”, with Rachel’s meat trifle!

          • You really must add the One with the Embryos to the list.

            Ms. Chnandler Bong….


          • Totes McGotes :

            Which is the one with the blackout?

            “Now that I think about it, gum would be perfection!”

          • Tired Squared :

            zora and TCFKAG: You’re right … the one with the couch and the “One with the Embryos” were both good too! I can’t remember the name of the couch one, though (pretty sure it’s not the “One with the Couch”)

            “We steal that TV guide every week!”
            “I KNEW IT!”

          • Totes McGotes :

            And which is the one where Rachel and Monica are fighting and Phoebe is like, “If we were in prison, you two would be my b!itches”?

          • Totes:

            Thats the one (I believe) where Chandler moves in with Monica and Rachel moves out.

            And…I have to live with a BOOOYYYY………

          • ack, stop making me laugh!!! my boss is starting to get suspicious and annoyed!!

          • “The One Where Everybody Finds Out!” Best episode EVER!

          • GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!

          • My favorite is the trivia game where Rachel and Monica take on Chandler and Joey for the apartment. “That’s not even a word”.

            I hated and hate Ross. My ranking of characters was Chandler, Monica, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe and then Ross at the very bottom.

        • The one where they are all getting ready for Ross’s speech and Joey wears all of Chandler’s clothes because Chandler borrowed his last pair of underpants. “Could I BE wearing any more clothes. Maybe if I wasn’t going Commando.”

          • This is definitely my favourite episode ever!!

            “Whew, it’s hot with all of this stuff on. I better not do any, I don’t know, LUNGES!”

      • This episode is the only thing I can think of when I see leather pants :-)

    • These pants look uncomfortable and unflattering. I will admit though that I like the way the blogger at 9to5chic styles leather leggings: http://www.9to5chic.com/2011/12/winter-coat.html

    • Diana Barry :

      I had bootcut leather pants in 2000. Got them at a sample sale in NYC. I don’t know if they’re still in the attic or not! :)

      • Never had leather pants, but I do have a long vintage leather skirt somewhere that I inherited from an ex-BF’s mother. Sort of similar to this:

        I haven’t worn it in a while because my life is boring now and I mostly dress for work, but it’s surprisingly awesome and versatile (or maybe just in my own mind ;))

      • I have leather pants from Ann Taylor… somewhere.

      • In high school (in the late 90s) I had pleather pants — because I couldn’t afford real leather. I think I wore them twice because they were brutally uncomfortable.

        I also had a long, patchwork brown vintage coat that I found at the used clothing store that I loved. I wonder what ever came of it. Hmmm….

      • spacegeek :

        I have 2 pairs of leather pants… that my *grandmother* wore! Seriously she was one Hot Mamma! Now that I think on it, I have 3 pairs of leather pants–I have a gorgeous pair of red leather ones, and a pair of brown suede pants too! I guess I like them… The grandma ones are trousers. The red ones are bootcut and are like a size 4 (sigh). And the suede ones are luxurious and totally not kid-friendly! LOL I have had no issues wearing them. They are like a warm pair of good jeans.

  7. Repost from yesterday: Does anyone else worry about data security in online tracking sites like toggl? I’ve been using it for a week now and really like it, but I worry about someone hacking the site and obtaining client data. I only use last names, but even that is somewhat confidential. I thought about using code names, but I work on so many different matters that it would get confusing/complicated really quickly. Any advice/suggestions?

    • Seattleite :

      We do very little online, so I can’t be helpful there. But each of our clients is assigned a 5-digit number, and then a 4-digit ‘matter.’ Hard drive storage is divided into folders with the 5-digit number and then subfolders with 4-digit matter (and add’l sub-sub-folders as necessary). We do have to refer to a master list to figure out where stuff is/goes, but it’s cleaner to store by client number rather than name. We have too many clients with the same names! Obvs I don’t know if you’re free to choose your own storage/naming conventions but that’s an approach to consider if you are.

    • I love manic time for time tracking. It is free and the time is stored locally on your hard drive. You just have to download the program.

    • don’t know those sites, but i generally worry a lot about all online tracking/security. it is very troubling to me how little control we have over all of it. i spend time trying to implement the opt-outs and safeguards and it just barely helps.

      did anyone read the scary gq article recently about evil sexual predators hacking into computers and watching people through the cameras? (my husband got that mag as a gift- hate it for the most part). I am putting a sticker on my laptop camera as the feds recommended in the article- what these guys did to the women was terrifying.

  8. Anyone seen this top irl and have a review of it? It’s final sale so would like feedback before I buy if possible.


    Thanks :)

    • Tried on that top (or a very similar top) a few months ago.

      Would be flattering for adding volume/interest on top if you are more straight up and down; when I tried it on, the extra volume created by the pleating at the top all wanted to gather in between my b**bs; it also looked like I was disguising a pregnancy. I also felt the fabric was a little on the shiny side for work.

      The “scoop” also fell a little lower on my back than I would have liked (but I’m a fan of turtlenecks and high jewel necks, so YMMV on that point).

    • It looks gorgeous!! Very tempted.

  9. Newly nail-obsessed :

    Yay – Open Thread! Since there is obviously a lot of interest in nail polish and related issues his site, is anyone else excited about the OPI Holland Collection launch next week? And, in a more Corporette-focused vein, thoughts on which colors are the work-appropriate?

    • Newly nail-obsessed :

      (Oops, I was going to say “the most work-appropriate” then took out “most” and forgot “the.” Sorry.)

      • I just looked at a website and it looks like they all have glitter. Is that true? If so, I guess I would wear glitter polish on occasion and I don’t necessarily thing it’s not work appropriate but the hassle of removing glitter polish (even with the wonderful suggestions posted here) is enough to keep me from trying them. I did like the eggplant color, though.

    • Equity's Darling :

      Yes! I’d wear all the colours to work, but I think my office is pretty lax on the nail colours. For more conservative work-places, I’d say that Gouda Gouda and Wooden Shoe are work appropriate, don’t know about the others. Rotterdam is probably my top pick from that collection, or Wooden Shoe or Dutch ya Just Love.

      I’m also SO excited for the China Glaze Hunger Games collection. Ahhhh, nailpolish makes me so excited!

      • I was just going to say that I am super impatient for the Hunger Games collection! Yay!

      • a nonny miss :

        I was also going to comment about The Hunger Games collection! They will all be mine.

      • Newly nail-obsessed :

        Me, too!

      • spacegeek :

        Yes to Hunger Games!! I am looking forward to Fast Track and Dress Me Up for fingers, and Harvest Moon for toes!!

        • Also excited :

          I totally agree on Fast Track. It didn’t seem like anything special in the press release “swatches,” but now that I’ve seen it on actual fingers on Scrangie and All Lacquered Up, I think it is gorgeous! Same for Foie Gras. I wonder if I could make that work for my office…

  10. I’m having flashbacks to the Friends episode where Ross is his date’s bathroom, trying to get his leather pants back on. THE LOTION AND POWDER HAVE MADE A PASTE!

    • But his son thought he was a cowboy. So there WAS that. :-P

    • another anon :

      This is one of my favorite Friends episodes, and that was my immediate response to these pants as well.

      Joey: Does the paste look like the pants?
      Ross: Um, no? Why?
      Joey: Because if it did, then you could make a pair of paste pants!

      Or something along those lines :)

      Why is that taking up space in my brain???

  11. a nonny miss :

    For the Downton fans, I hope this blows your mind like it did mine: http://www.papermag.com/2012/02/downton_abbey_stars_out_of_cos.php

    Also, thanks to everyone who has ever recommended The Hunger Games. I knocked the trilogy out last weekend!

    • Merabella :

      They don’t wear any makeup on the set of this show because it would be historically inaccurate. It is AMAZING how much that can change a person’s look.

      • MeliaraofTlanth :

        they don’t wear makeup on the show? Like any? Does this mean that the women that plays Mary actually has skin that perfect? Jealous.

        • well, considering the lighting needed for filming, I’m sure they use foundation/powder, and very natural colors of makeup designed to make them look like they aren’t wearing any makeup. So, rest assured, they probably don’t look that perfect with literally no makeup in real life ;o)

        • They do – just not very much. They’re supposed to look like they’re not wearing any though. From what I’ve read, just some primer/foundation to look pale and like their skin has never seen sun and some lip/cheek stain.

        • No, they do, in that they wear makeup so their faces are better captured on film. You know, in the vein of wearing 10 products to look “natural.” LOL.

          They just don’t wear makeup that conforms to modern trends like sparkly lip gloss or grey smoky eyeshadow. But they do wear foundation/concealer, etc to even out skin tones and hide blemishes (everybody is suspiciously free of zits, even young’uns….)

          • MeliaraofTlanth :

            oh thank god, I was going to have a complex. The next question, of course, is what foundation are they using that looks so natural? Me want.

          • Do not get a complex! :o) besides, it looks ‘natural’ on film. In person it looks like a thick layer of spackle and powder. Those lights used for filming are reeaally strong, and wash pretty much everything out. Plus, then there are filters on the cameras which really change a lot, too. Think of it like the airbrushing in magazines, NO ONE really looks like they do on a major television show.

    • 1) I love how they show the dogs “on” and “off” screen.

      2) Hello, Mrs. O’Brien! Wow!

    • Is it wrong that off-screen Mr. Bates holding a baby is just about the hottest thing I’ve seen in recent memory? I’m getting old!

      • a nonny miss :

        I thought the same thing! But as an a early-mid twenty something, my friends judged me harshly.

        • Is it because of the baby? Or because of the age difference between you and Mr. Bates? (Or both?)

      • Giddyup!

        Had the same reaction. :)

    • Most unrecognizable in real life: Thomas!

      • He looks way more likeable with the facial hair. I think it hides his Sneermouth.

      • I think Thomas on the show looks like John Travolta. Something about the square face (which is different from a blockhead, although Thomas is both) and strong jaw.

    • I have SUCH a thing for Hugh Bonneville.

  12. We’re thinking of going to the Napa/Sonoma area for our honeymoon following a mid-December wedding. Thoughts on whether we’d have a good time considering the weather, etc.? Any other December, non-beach, honeymoon ideas?

    • Merabella :

      I went on my honeymoon to San Francisco & Napa/Sonoma and it was so great! I think you could very easily have a good time, not matter what the weather, because there are so many vineyards and restaurants to visit and check out, and you will probably have more of a unique experience since there won’t be as many tourists as during the summer time.

      Hit up San Francisco too if you want. It was an amazing city with a lot of great things to do. We really enjoyed it.

    • we bought tickets spur-of-the-moment for a long weekend in the Sonoma area at the end of the month… I am paying attention to this thread, as I haven’t done a lick of planning.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      It will be gorgeous, uncrowded, cozy, and chilly for CA. It may rain, and the temps can dip at night, but that’s fine because you’ll be in your cozy room under blankets with your new husband. I absolutely love wine country in winter. The crowds of tourists are gone, the vintners and restaurants aren’t super busy (unless you go during Xmas) so you can actually relax and talk to them, and the mists and chill can make the (bare) vineyards look almost magical. I actually like the Russian River and Dry Creek areas best, and love to stay at the Farmhouse Inn, but you’d have a wonderful time in Napa or Sonoma, too.

    • Rose in Bloom :

      I don’t know anything about Napa/Sonoma during that time of year, but Biltmore in Asheville, NC is lovely in mid-December if you are looking for non-beach alternatives. We got married in mid-December as well and went there for the few days between our wedding and Christmas. We stayed at the Inn on the estate, which was nice because it gave us tickets to tour the house and everything else on the grounds (and there is a winery there). Asheville is a neat town as well.

    • Hey, I have two friends who took January honeymoons to Napa. It can be chilly (40s at night), but it’s the off-season, so everything I’ve heard you have the place to yourselves (relatively speaking ) and it’s super cheap compared to high season. I also have a buddy who worked at Cakebread for awhile before law school and he and his wife usually take early spring trips out there. I consider them insiders, so it must be a good time to go!

      I think the only downside is that you need to plan a little more carefully as some restaurants may close on Mondays & Tuesdays during the winter, same for wineries, but as long as you research in advance, I’m sure you won’t have any trouble.

      I’m headed there myself in March and would be happy to share all my info with you.

    • I went this past December (on the recommendation of the Corporettes, of course), and it was awesome. It didn’t rain, and the weather was just lovely. Very brisk. It wasn’t all that crowded. I would highly recommend it.

      • My comment is awaiting moderation for some reason . . . I went this past December, and it was awesome. The weather was fabulous.

    • yes! Weather can be fabulous or rainy or both in the span of a few days. It is chilly for California, but wonderful and uncrowded. I am a late December birthday and had no problems getting in at Cyrus, Redd, Ad Hoc etc. then, either. Yountville and Healdsburg are especially great if you’re foodies.

      • karenpadi :

        Oh Redd. My favorite.

      • Ooh, yes! Cyrus, Dry Creek Kitchen and Scopa in Healdsburg; JoLe in Calistoga; and Redd and Bouchon or Ad Hoc on the Napa side.

        Good hotels for chillier weather . . . .
        1. Hotel Healdsburg (right on the square in Healdsburg) — they have a lovely lobby with a fireplace and huge squashy couches all around it, plus fuzzy throws and long lounge chairs in the room (and the most amazing bed linens . . . I think they must be Frette).
        2. Indian Springs, in Calistoga. Guests of the lodge or cottages can stay in the naturally heated mineral pool until midnight! With steam coming off the water and stars above . . . it’s kind of other-worldly. And I found the mud bath seriously relaxing.

        • spacegeek :

          Oh! And if you are in Calistoga try the Lavender Spa (google it)! They have the nicest set up for a couples bath and massage. You are in a cottage together with two bathtubs next to one another and spa tables side by side too. We love to do spa time, and this is the best we’ve had for quality treatments *and* together. We’ve gone back more than once.

    • karenpadi :

      I agree with SF Bay Associate. Winter is the best time to visit Napa. It’ll be chilly and rainy but also beautiful.

      For the best deals, sign up for travelzoo in the bay area. The hotels in wine country have some amazing midweek deals in January (and a few in December).

      • spacegeek :

        Gosh I love Napa/Sonoma… the light in winter is so wonderful there–everything looks like a painting! It won’t be warm but it will be amazing. You will be rested and happy!!

    • I live in the Bay Area and just spent the three day Martin Luther King weekend in western Sonoma. It’s my favorite time of year in that area. Fewer tourists, no worries about whether it will be foggy or too hot. Just perfect. The only risk you run is rain, but if you have cozy lodgings, no problem. :)

    • I have to recommend the Cottages at Napa Valley. Absolutely lovely, perfect for a honeymoon, and daily delivery of Bouchon for breakfast.

    • I love the wine country in the winter – when the rains come, the hills start to green up and look really lush. The mist/ fog/ rain make the landscape really mysterious and romantic. Unlike the east coast or midwest, it rarely rains heavily for multiple days – much more likely is soft, misty rain. And when the skies clear: glorious blue and crystal clear air! Really spectacular. The wineries and restaurants should be mellow with the summer traffic & tourists gone. You can also drive over to the Sonoma/ Mendocino coast (an hour or two away). After my late-Oct. wedding a few years ago, husband and I recovered at the Greenwood Pier Inn, directly above waves crashing into the coast and swathed in fog. It was magical!

      Another possibility would be to head farther south to Big Sur, where you’d have similarly rugged and beautiful landscape, lots of snazzy inns, good food, and possibly warmer temps (but fewer wineries – though some around San Luis Obispo).

  13. Anonymous :

    Dear Managing Partner,

    Please do not engage in extended conversations in the only women’s bathroom. It is really awkward trying to “go” when I am the only person in a stall (and therefore all noises will be attributed to me) and you are standing 3 feet away.

    Thank you.

    • Dear all humans,

      Do not engage in extended conversations in the bathroom. That’s just weird.

      Thank you.

      • There is a woman in our office who talks on her cell phone while literally going to the bathroom in one of the stalls! It is so very odd. I just do my business, flush, wash, and leave and always wonder a) what the other person is thinking while hearing all of this and b) what is so important (clearly nothing b/c she does it frequently) that you can’t take a break from your phone to use the restroom! Just strange.

        • I think talking on the phone while in a public bathroom is so disgusting. It’s bad enough other people can hear my business who are there, but people on the phone too? Ewww.

      • Totes McGotes :

        There is a woman in my office who will go to the bathroom especially to make calls. (?????!) It is revolting… and makes me want to “exaggerate” my sounds. I don’t though, because she also has a reputation of being a bad person to have mad at you.

      • A partner in my former firm used to take his dictaphone in the bathroom and dictate letters and briefs, which our shared secretary would then have to type, ignoring the flushes and other sounds. He was in many ways a really great guy, but 19 years later this is still my most enduring memory about him.

      • Anonymous :

        On the other hand, years ago I knew a tax partner that lived 4 blocks from the office. He left the office every morning at 10 with the newspaper, and went home for 30 minutes.

        I never asked, but it was understood that he was going home to do his business.

      • another anon :

        Also, if you enter the bathroom and there is one occupied stall, and several unoccupied stall, please do not select the stall that is immediately adjacent to the occupied one. Why would you do this??? Please leave at least a 1 stall buffer zone if possible.

    • To be fair, it’s a little ridiculous to avoid going to the bathroom in order to not have “bathroom sounds” attributed to you in the public bathroom. Think of that children’s book, Everyone Poops. Of course, its common to be a little uncomfortable. My solution? flush first, do your business (flushing sound drowns out other sounds), flush again, leave bathroom and get on with your life. People may think all kinds of things about your double flushing, but who cares? I simply don’t have time to sit in the bathroom all day waiting for it to empty out so that no one discovers that my bathroom activities aren’t always silent, making me pretty much just like every other human being on the planet.

      • Just to clarify- I don’t mean to say it’s not also a little ridiculous for her to regularly have extended conversations in the bathroom. I’m not even going to get into the other posts about people using it as their own personal phone booth.

      • Jane Fairfax :

        I had the great good fortune to travel to Japan a year ago for work and one of the things that delighted me the most about the country was the wide variety in Japanese toilets. Everything from what was little more than a hole in the ground to fancy toilets with multiple buttons to wash, dry, etc. One toilet even had a button with musical notes on it that when pushed started a polite little musical sound track that I assume was intended to cover any “rude” noises. I thought it was brilliant. I kind of wish my office had one.

        • Oh my goodness, I loved the bathrooms in Japan! And the fact that every single “automatic” appliance actually worked. I didn’t have to waive my hands in front of the sink for several minutes to get the water on, and there were no unfortunately timed flushes.

          I was there for my honeymoon and my husband thought it was very weird that I would always rush out and be like, “Did yours have the awesome sinks!?”

        • Cats Ahoy! :

          The Sound Princess!!


      • In the same line of bathroom information, our office stocks “PooPouri” to mask any unpleasant odors. It’s been quite popular.

    • Can I say I was just glad to hear your managing partner had a valid reason to be in the WOMEN’S bathroom? Three cheers.

  14. Help please!

    There’s a lawyer at my firm that just doesn’t ‘get’ me. I don’t know what it is about me, but they seem to have issues with me. I know said lawyer doesn’t dislike me in any way, but also doesn’t really ‘like’ me in any meaningful sense.

    Apparently I don’t express enough ‘enthusiasm’ even though I said “great! this is a really interesting case!” I say it with a genuine smile, but I’m not bouncing up and down. That’s simply not my personality. I have never been accused of not being enthusiastic/interested enough. ever. If anything, I am told I am very motivated and interested in the subject and care a lot. So, I find it kind of hard that as a professional I am supposed to be super perky 24/7. Obviously if it’s a big deal moment, I get excited (i.e., we won the case!), but the daily grind?

    I hate to say it, but I feel like it’s partly because I’m a girl. I’ve been told I behave more like a guy (I’m girly in other respects for sure, though), but I just don’t have the girly mannerisms. I’m serious and focused. I make people laugh a lot with my witty or just plain funny commentary. I’m not boring, I’m just not the perky blonde.

    Help?!? Should I be concerned? I’m worried this person is spreading negative feelings about me.

    • You said he doesn’t dislike you, what is giving you the impression he is spreading negative feedback? (asking before I answer more because that will influence it)

      • Because of the nature of where I work…everyone is close-knit, you’re expected to be close with everyone, I know the lawyers tell the other lawyers their opinions of others because I hear them say that they do.

        Thanks for replying! Looking forward to insight.

    • Seattleite :

      How long have you worked there?

    • Unless you’ve left out some information, I think you may be overreacting. It is OK if one lawyer at your firm doesn’t “get” you or doesn’t like you “in any meaningful way.” It sounds like you have been getting good feedback about your personality and motivations from other people you work for. However, I would be more concerned if (a) this lawyer is in a position to make or influence decisions about your employment, (b) you work in a very small firm or on a very small team where this type of personal “meshing” is very important, or (c) you have evidence that this lawyer is spreading negative opinions about you.

      If you want to address it, talk to somebody equally or more senior to that lawyer who you trust and enjoy working with. Ask whether that person knows of any issues that you’re not aware of. If possible, try to get assignments from other people and avoid working with the person you’re not getting along with.

      Also, try monitoring yourself objectively for a bit to see if there might be a reason you might be interpreted as less than enthusiastic. Is your sense of humor too dry for some people’s liking? Are you sarcastic when you’re tired? Do you complain more when you’re sick? As you said, there may be some quirk to your personality that this lawyer just doesn’t “get,” so pay attention to when this person reacts negatively to you and focus on being upbeat and professional.

      Your concern that the lawyer is spreading negative feelings about you is the trickiest one. Do you have evidence that this person has said negative things about you to others? Is it more office gossip from a colleague, or real concern from a superior? Unless this person is saying really terrible or untrue things, you may just have to ignore gossip and trust that people will form their own opinions about you. If this person is your superior, and you have to continue working for him/her, then you may have to address the concerns head-on.

      Again, put this in perspective and determine how serious the situation is. It may be OK if there’s someone who just doesn’t “get” you.

      • Exactly- I would answer yes to all three of your questions, with probably more like a “maybe” to the last one.

        As for humor, I know that dry humor often isn’t appreciated at work, so I definitely keep it to the simple funny, innocent stuff. I actually havent been sick since I started here (shocking now that I think about it!) so I havent ever complained about that (or injuries/etc.).

        The problem is, I don’t know how I can possibly address the concerns. I think it’s mainly that this lawyer cannot read me. I’ve been told (not at work ever before, but in dating) that I’m hard to read at first. Well, when I feel like you’re constantly judging me, I try to keep a neutral face so that I don’t express my thoughts of “what?” when you say these things.

        I’m not trying to say I’m perfect, and I know this sounds totally defensive, but I really don’t see that I’ve done anything fundamentally “wrong”. I did a lot of honest, objective, thinking about it. Higher ups say that I have been so eager and impressive. I really don’t think I should have to fake enthusiasm by being really perky- I think it will come across phoney in five seconds. Other people we work with are not super perky either, why is it a problem for me?

        Sorry for the rambling. It’s just frustrating. In school I had profs ask me to work for them and speak very highly of me to others because of my interest in my work.

        • it's almost saturday :

          Seeing that you’ve evaluated the situation and concluded that you haven’t acted differently with him than any one else my thought is this… You cannot change who you are and to try to do so because a person doesn’t “get” you is not okay. Just be authentic and let the chips fall where they may. In your work life, some people will love you, some people will not like you and others won’t have an opinion either way.

          • Pretzel_Logic :

            ugh, I think you may be me in five years. haha. Personality sounds VERY similar and I am often branded “cagey” quickly. I am, and that does cause problems. I’m also 5’9″ and intimidating to some people (short guys behave differently around me, it’s not just in my head). My dad is the same way and he’s told me that fake it till you make it is very helpful in social or boss-related situations. Basically, you are going to feel like a phony while you’re projecting a perkier attitude than one that you actually have (or ever have), but IT WORKS. People buy it. I am a complete introvert but I have to pretend like I’m not when I’m in public/at work/at school so my natural shyness doesn’t get branded as b**chface. (To be fair, I do have that sometimes. HAHA.)

            My last thought, though, is that unless this guy is your direct superior…don’t worry about it too much. If he has no control over your hiring/firing, accept that you and he have a personality clash. That’s okay. I would think that if you at least have mutual respect, that will go a long way, and if you have good reviews on your work, you probably have at least his respect in the work setting.

          • When I was in training, I had this really excellent, but incredibly egotistical (probably megalomaniacal, actually) vascular surgeon I worked for. He made me slightly crazy, but I amused myself by thinking of the most outrageous, over-the-top compliments, which I would say to him with a straight face (think “that stitch was placed so perfectly.” or “That’s the best looking graft I’ve ever seen.” Or “I don’t think anyone else could have placed that wire as well as you did.”) He. Ate. It. Up. He believed everything I said, and adored me. I was slightly embarrassed, but it worked.

            I still laugh about it. I’m not necessarily recommending the approach, but never underestimate people’s ability to lap up BS about themselves.

        • Interesting.

          I’m a 2L so can’t comment as to career but as someone who is not very perky but is friendly and smiles and laughs a lot, I have to say there is one part of your post that raises flags for me: “being difficult to read”. Many people when being friendly try to mirror the emotion of the person talking to them (I do this). If they are calm, I try to be calm. If they are enthusiastic, I am let myself laugh and enjoy myself too. Please understand that this is not being “fake” or “phoney”. I am feeling genuine emotions but just regulating them around the other person in the most appropriate way. This is nothing to do with being an introvert. I am an introvert (btw – bugbear, being introverted is nothing to do with being quiet!) I know quiet, loud, introverts and extroverts, all of whom are easy to read.

          However, there is one girl I have to work with on a journal who is IMPOSSIBLE to read. She makes funny off “faces” all the time, gestures or slight grimaces or winces which seem completely random and her face is pretty blank. I HATE talking to her. It kind of gets me down. She says all the right things. Because of the disconnect between what she is saying and her tone/gestures, her comments seem on the edge of sarcasm. It makes her seems completely uninterested in the conversation and the topic. If that is what you are doing, it is possible that this is the outcome.

          Speak to a friend bluntly about your facial expressions. Basically, my point is that if you are trying to control your emotions all the time or you just have generally unfriendly facial expressions, you may be coming across as insincere and that is really easy to detect.

          • Oh, and what are “girly mannerisms”? If you are defensive about “being made to be perky like a girl”, you may be overcompensating. It’s possible that your ambivalence about this is bleeding through into your demeanor and your boss is reading it as ambivalence about the task/him.

        • Didn’t your mom ever tell you…

          Not everyone will like you and that’s okay.

          The end.

          Do your best. Then let it go. You can’t control everything. I know, it’s hard to swallow, we all want to control everything, but it’s not the way it works.

          • I was going to reply to all of this helpful commentary, but I feel like I’ll be beating a dead horse. Thanks everyone for chiming in! I’m just gonna let it go and focus on being ‘me’- which apparently everyone else seems to get along with :).

          • agree- don’t worry about it. i have worked with many people i just don’t like, and work with them anyway. i can tell not every loves me all of the time. whatever- it’s a chemistry thing. unless there’s something bigger going on, or it’s your boss, try to let it go.

    • Well, I am the perky blonde and I’ve been on the opposite end of what you are experiencing. We just can’t win. I was frequently commented and praised for my enthusiasm and attitude at my last job except by one mid level who had a miserable home life and worked 24/7 to avoid said home life and to make everyone else miserable. He just didn’t “get” how I was always happy and optimistic. When he criticized something, I’d thank him for the feedback, say I would do it differently going forward, and then move on. He complained to my mentor, the senior partner, everyone, that I just wasn’t taking his cases/life/his criticism seriously enough. Luckily, they all said that I got the message loud and clear, responded appropriately, and unlike other more fragile people (for lack of a better word) I didn’t let him beat me up, make me cry, etc. He just couldn’t handle that he couldn’t break me down. He could yell at me, I’d be professional and then 10 minutes later, smiling and laughing about something with my AA.

      Hopefully, your coworkers see you as a serious and dedicated professional and will defend you if he starts complaining about you being too blah. Some people just need something to complain about.

  15. I got scammed! :

    I need to rant.

    I bought a groupon about a month ago for an online grocery deal. So I happily went to the website, put in a $40 order. A couple days later the merchant emailed me noting that they had issues verifying my groupon code. The merchant refused to accept the groupon, and then today charged me $98.34 for groceries I never ordered! I called the merchant’s customer service- no response.

    So I call my bank, tell them that the charge was NOT authorized. Their response? “Oh well we can’t freeze your card or your account or dispute the charge until the pending charge goes through.” What is the point of having a fraud protection department if their hands are tied until the fraudulent charges goes through??

    I’m EXTREMELY upset at both the merchant, for obvious reasons, and Groupon, for not doing due dilligence on the quality of the merchant before offering the deal. Most of all – I’m upset at myself for being so naive as to trust a spankin new online business with no prior reviews.

    • You should call Groupon and let them know. They are great about customer service and dealing with merchant problems.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

      Sorry, that sucks. I can’t help you with the grocer, but I have had a very easy time getting Groupon to refund me for the price of the Groupon when a deal went sour. It’s may not be much, but it’s something, right?

    • In the nicest way possible: relax. Groupon will refund your money, they have a money back promise. The bank can never do anything about pending charges, because sometimes they never go through. If they processed the payment before the charge went through and it never did, then theyd have to go back and take money out of your account. As for the new merchant, make sure you call again. Your not scammed until you’ve actually been charged.

      If the first time you used the website was a month ago, make sure you didn’t sign up for a monthly delivery service. I remember looking at a monthly delivery service groupon was offering, but you had to sign up for a few months of deliveries so make sure you didn’t sign up for that.

    • Can you post the name of the merchant/grocer you’re having the dispute with?

    • Mountain Girl :

      I had some issues with Living Social last summer. When I contacted Living Social customer service they referred me to the merchant. Really?!? It is the merchant I am having issues. It took me forever to get this resolved but it was the last purchase I made from any of those sites.

      • I’ve had issues with LivingSocial as well, and they did exactly the same. Actually, one of my complaints they never even responded to, I had to continually follow up. I’m using up my vouchers through them but doubt I will purchase any more.

    • Anonymous :

      I don’t get it either but my bank does the same thing.. I had to wait for the charge to go through before I could dispute it. Also (don’t get this either) but apparently businesses will initially charge more for something (which shows up pending on your account) and then the final amount that was actually charged is less.

      • some companies run a charge and immediately reverse it just to prove your card works and then charge the actual amount so that a pending charge may never actually go through. Banks can’t give you money until the bank has it removed. In other words, a pending charge means, “maybe we want this much from her” and the actual charge says “we took this amount from her account.” A bank can give you back what was taken but can’t do anything about a maybe.

        As for why businesses may have a higher amount pending, it can be something like a gas station where they have an average amount, say $50, so when you swipe your card before filling, it says “maybe we’ll need $50 from her” then it’s approved enough for you to fill up, you do, and then it charges for sure the actual amount. This helps to prevent you from having $2 on your debit account, getting $50 in gas, and then making the gas station spend a fortune chasing you for their money.

        As for the 2nd paragraph, THAT is why you don’t want to use a debit card, only credit cards (or the credit option of your debit card), they don’t hold money the same way.

        hope that helps

        • I also bought a Groupon deal recently for a grocery delivery service, and about a week ago got an email from Groupon saying the deal had been canceled and to let them know whether I wanted a Groupon credit or a refund – wonder if it is the same company?

          At the very least, Groupon will refund your money, and if the charge goes through and you have to dispute it with your credit card company, they may also be able to provide information to your bank backing up if there are problems with that vendor. Hope it all works out!

          • no offense to everyone who loves these sites, but i wouldn’t ever use any of them- seems like an easy way to get sucked into stuff you may not ever get for whatever reason

  16. Now or never? :

    Reposting here re: all the advice I got on the morning thread:
    So much food for thought, ladies. Thanks for all the input. I have decided that I am going to go this afternoon and get on some form of BC pill. That way, the Depo can work its way out of my system and I can stop the pill at a time that I feel is comfortable for H & I, at which point we will start using condoms and I will track my cycle and get familiar with my body. I actually own Taking Control of Your Fertility, but haven’t read it because I bought it and immediately lent it to a friend and her H, who are having trouble conceiving. I will have to give it a thorough read when she returns it to me.
    I don’t feel pressured by others’ advice as much as I feel pressured by the fact that the longer we wait, the harder it may be to conceive. Obviously, that comes from anecdotal evidence and statistical evidence, and that’s what has impacted me the most.
    I know that last year, I had the idea in my head of that mythical “right time” to have kids, but it has become more obvious to me since then that such a time doesn’t exist, and if it does, it might be too late. Given the alternative, I would rather resent having a child a year “too early” than waiting and experiencing what many of my friends and relatives have gone through TTC slightly later in life.
    I agree that a group for Not (Quite) The Mamma ‘rettes would be a great one to have.
    Thanks again for all the thoughts. I love this community.

    • Merabella :

      Be careful with the birth control. Pfizer just recalled a bunch of them.

      • Now or never? :

        I saw that! I am going to make sure I pick one that’s not on the list :)

    • Mamma Mia :

      Anyone know how to set up such a group? I’m so not a tech person.

      • on facebook, you should see a “groups” section on the left side. click on “create a group” and fill in the blanks, then copy/paste the main page’s web address and post it for people to join

  17. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

    I’ve gotten really into statement necklaces. So far, I’ve been keeping them on my nightstand lamp, but as I have four hurtling through the air toward me as I type, I’m beginning to think I need a new system. Any suggestions?

    • Totes McGotes :

      I am obsessed with my Lori Greiner jewelry storage case. I have the big one that is a full-length stand-up mirror (might be overkill for what you’re talking about), but there are smaller ones, including some (also mirror fronts) that you can mount on a wall. She has a QVC shop.

    • I have a wooden folding rack thing that I hang on the wall. It has pegs coming out at the points and crosses (I hope this description is making sense…) Anyway, I hang all my necklaces and some bracelets from the pegs. I cannot tell you how many compliments I get when people see them all displayed. It’s a nice little splash of color, and until you get too many (like I currently do), it’s easy to see what all you have.

      • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

        I was thinking of something like this, but I’ve hung a couple of necklaces up in the past (albeit cheap ones) and they stretched out and didn’t look right when I tried to wear them again. Has that ever happened for you? If so, how did you fix it/prevent it from happening again?

    • I use this “the little black dress” jewelry organizer from the Container Store. It’s fun and stores all my jewelry and has held up well so far. It also keeps things out of sight and off the floor, so my jewelry is safe from our cats. And it takes up much less space than a jewelry box.

    • Anastasia :

      I hang my statement necklaces and bracelets on a “mug tree.” I found space for all my coffee mugs in the cupboards and needed to repurpose, and it’s great! (Except now I’ve acquired a few too many pieces of jewelry, so I either need a second mug tree or a new system.)

      My mom has a folding rack like the one Duchess described — love that, too!

    • I hung a bulletin board in my closet and put nails/push pins in it. Hung the necklaces from the push pins. This way I can see all of them at once and it’s easy enough to force myself to hang the necklace back up at the end of the day (as opposed to just throwing it on the dresser).

      • Moonstone :

        I did a variation of this. I covered a bulletin board with wrapping paper that coordinates with my comforter and I hung it near my closet. I used big decorative tacks to hang statement necklaces — stretched out so you can see their beauty. I made something similar for my bracelets, where I used decorative drawer pulls and now I pile 2 or 3 bracelets on each pull.

        It was very satisfying to turn a pile of tangled jewelry into artwork. And I felt less guilty about spending money on baubles once I was able to appreciate them even when I was not wearing them.

    • I love this DIY jewelry organizer from Headlines and Hemlines. It just looks clean and sophisticated and allows the jewelry to shine. I’ll make it one of these days, really.


    • Thumbtacks across the inside “side” wall of my closet keeps them all within easy reach. Love my new system!

    • I have a couple decorative hooks on my wall next to the mirror I use to get dressed. I hang all my fun necklaces on those.

    • I have this hand-shaped necklace stand on my dresser


      to me, it’s a graceful, feminine hand displaying my favorite (non-precious) necklaces, and adds kind of a quirky yet elegant note to my dresser.

      To my husband, it’s a creepy zombie hand coming out of the ground and he would like me to get rid of it immediately.

      Which, for me, just adds to the fun.

      • I’d probably leave it in unexpected places around the house just to torment him but I’m mean like that.

      • Totes McGotes :

        I woke up in the middle of Friday night thinking about this creepy hand! That said, I love CB’s idea ;)

      • I think that means you should also get this one


      • Presumably, if this is on your dresser, and we’re talking about your husband, then he’s seeing this zombie hand in his own bedroom. I think that’s a valid argument for getting rid of it immediately, as asked. I sure wouldn’t want to wake up in the middle of the night and contemplate the zombie hand..

    • Legal Marketer :

      I saw a cute idea. A woman dedicated her top dresser drawer to jewelry and then put various shallow bowls (from mismatched china) in the drawer and just dropped each necklace into one of the bowls. (You could add your earrings or ring or whatever too.)

      I liked it because some of my statement necklaces are big and chunky and tend not to fit in the compartments of other jewelry organizers, and because it just looked so cute.

      • I’ve been doing something like this after reorganizing things last fall, but my containers in the drawer aren’t so cute. The china/pottery idea sounds lovely! Overall, I love having all my jewelry not only organized by out of sight and not catching dust.

    • I corrall mine in a few glass bowls on top of a dresser. It looks like tiny hoards of pirate treasure, which is awesome.

    • I have this: http://www.amazon.com/BelleDangles-CLASSIC-Classic-Jewelry-Organizer/dp/B0057GMK6Y/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1328308770&sr=8-3

      I have most of my necklaces, earrings, watches, bracelets on there and a few things in boxes stacked on top. It’s worked pretty well for me and I actually wear the stuff I own now!

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler :

      Thanks everyone for the great ideas. Please keep them coming.

      • Yes, please! I’m loving this thread. Anybody know of a Pinterest board that showcases jewelry storage?

        I saw this idea for storing bangle bracelets recently and just drooled over all the beautiful colors: http://vixenvintage.blogspot.com/2012/01/bangles-and-bras.html

        • Not a big bangle person, but I want those things for my tights! I had no idea “stocking boxes” were a thing. But then, I’m not really a big container/storage solutions person. Although I wish I was.

      • Question for everyone who hangs up their necklaces or stores in decorative open containers – any good suggestions to keep them from getting dusty and from scratching/ chipping each other ?

    • Accountress :

      I got some nice wood lattice, painted it white, hung it up over my dresser, and put big screw-in hooks into intersections of pieces of wood. It is one of two DIY pieces I have in my home- I’m not creative and I don’t believe in doing something that you can hire a professional to do better.

    • Ruthy Sue :

      I use the canvas necklace & bracelet organizer from the Container Store. The Velcro loops easily accommodate a variety of types of necklaces and bracelets, plus nothing falls off, which is great. Even better is that it takes up almost zero room in your closet, and won’t get dust like a jewelry box.


      • in-House Europe :

        I’m late to this but I wanted to chime in – we have a closet system from Ikea (!!) where one of the “drawers” is a velvet-esque jewelry storage drawer. LOVE.

  18. goirishkj :

    I know that there have been some other commenters previously who are IBD patients or are otherwise involved in Team Challenge with the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation. Any of you running Napa to Sonoma this summer with Team Challenge? This will be my first Team Challenge event as a runner so I’m very excited, although I’ve done other half-marathons on my own. I know my team is just getting ready to start info meetings next month, but since I’m guessing we’re all in different cities, I thought it might be fun to connect via email and share stories and fundraising tips as we get ready for the race this summer! If anyone else is up to it and wants to post an anonymous email address I’ll respond, or I can create a new email address for this if there’s any interest.

    • I’ve done it in the past — and my brother is doing it this season for the second time (probably VA though, but I have friends doing Napa). I’d love to penpal if you have an anonymous e-mail address…I don’t have one right now, but could create one I guess. :-)

      • goirishkj :

        TCFKAG–I’ll set one up this weekend and will post it here. I’d love to hear your thoughts since I’m just starting to step out in this whole advocacy thing. Hopefully I’ll get the email posted before the open thread gets too out of control :)

    • I do the 5k walk (probably in my 7th year now) and my close friend did Team Challenge last year or the year before in my honor. I’ve raised a lot of money in the past but have been much lazier with it now that I’m a lawyer. The second year I did it, I spoke about living with Crohns on a local radio station! It was fun but part of me though “you are nuts, telling the world your poop problems!” I was interviewed for almost a half hour about the cause on live radio. You can email me at [email protected]

      • Blonde Lawyer — if she e-mails you — feel free to pass along my e-mail address. We can all be gastrointestinal pen pals. :-)

        • I swear I didn’t forget my promise to post!

          Here’s an email: [email protected] I’ll also email Blonde Lawyer so we’re set :) Hopefully you see this but there’s already 300 comments so I’m not entirely too optimistic.

  19. I’m not really sure that I *get* this author, but this article made me chuckle and think of Corporette something fierce: http://www.slate.com/articles/life/doonan/2012/02/work_clothes_what_to_wear_at_the_office_.single.html

    My favorite bit: “If you are a careerist Gen Xer or a millennial over-achieving lunatic and are disinclined to sacrifice professional success for that bird of paradise role, then do as follows: Simply match your surroundings by wearing conservative tailoring in muted tones—go greige, beige and even champeige—and glide down the hallway like a venomous asp.”


    • Seattleite :

      Now I want to change my handle to Venomous Asp.

    • Just as a frame of reference: The author is one of the main creative head-honchos at Barneys. He’s married to Jonathan Adler (the designer).

      • Seattleite :

        Huh. My immediate reaction to the article was that of course we’re worried about the rules, have you seen what’s on offer these days, must be nice to be a man! And now, knowing that, I’m adding capitalizations and !!!! to that thought. Don’t yank us around and then sneer at us.

    • Awesome. Also like “look like you’re going someplace better later”. That’s great.

    • Oh dear. Simon Doonan. He used to be funny.

    • Oh, I love him. Kanye E, we will have to disagree. I still think he’s funny.

  20. Vegas Baby :

    Any recommendations for a blazer that is work-appropriate but still casual enough to wear jeans? I want it in black.

    My suit jackets, when paired, with jeans, looks like it should be worn with a suit, and I’m looking for something to wear over a shell in place of my normal cardigan.

    Thanks in advance!

    • I have the Jcrew Schoolboy blazer in wool flannel, and I love it! I have it in grey, and I wear it with black skirts, navy, jeans, etc. The sleeves are lined in a striped material that look cute rolled up for a more casual look.

    • I’ve had good luck w/ Lands End Canvas – have a cute dark grey flannel one I think they still have on there & a dark brown courderoy (sp?) one too. Not sure if they come in black too, but both of mine are nice/dark neutrals that I love w/ jeans.

    • I have a couple jackets from Ann Taylor and one from White House Black Market and one from BR that work with a skirt and shell for the office and with jeans for the weekend. None of them are part of a suit; they were sold as stand alone jackets.

      • On a related note, what are some rules for pairing blazers with non-matching skirts or dresses in warm weather, with respect to color, texture of fabric, etc.

    • Piperlime – the site associated with gap and banana – has a blazer by Tinley Road called the Bleeker Blazer… it’s not wool, but the fabric holds up well and its got a little more of a fashion-y look than a traditional blazer, without being too edgy. I have it in black and have worn it to work and on the weekends with jeans.

  21. I’m madly in love with this skirt from modcloth. I think it would be work appropriate in a business casual office with a twinset or a nice top and black blazer but, well, it’s modcloth, so I’d like a second opinion.


    • pretty in the photo but comments on the page don’t look so good

    • I like it a lot! I couldn’t wear it in my business attire office, but at a more casual place with a black jacket I think it’d look great.

    • Beautiful. Love.

    • Really pretty, just make sure it’s long enough for you. A skirt like that I would want to rest at my natural waist, and 24″ of fabric wouldn’t cut it. All their skirts and dresses are too short for me, but I’m tall.

  22. Anyone expert in random body phenomena?
    I have a small, hard lump in the center of my chest: below bra level, almost right over where my ribcage ends (if it were higher, it would be right in between my bre*sts). It’s not red or pink, just my normal flesh color. And maybe an 1/2 to 3/4 of an inch long, raised up. If I press on it at all, it hurts, but otherwise I don’t feel it. I first noticed it about a month ago. I’m sure it’s not a bite. Anyone have ideas? I obviously have not talked to a doctor about it, yet. But I’m getting more concerned because I was touching it kind of absentmindedly over my blouse, and it really hurt underneath the skin.

    • I know you’re going to get this from everyone else, but go to the doctor. It’s probably nothing, but it could be something serious and I don’t see why you wouldn’t have it checked out.

    • Maddie Ross :

      While I’d still get it checked, this sounds vaguely similar to the lypoma I have on my leg. Lypomas, or fatty tumors, are not tumors in the cancerous sense but are caused generally by trauma or injury. I think mine was caused by a fall while running. It’s near my hip joint and not really noticeable to anyone but me. It doesn’t hurt and is normal colored. About 2 inches in size now, but it started out smaller. I’ve considered having it removed, but have not pulled the trigger. Again, this is just a thought.

      • Research, Not Law :

        I was thinking the same thing – but please do get it checked!

    • don’t want to scare you. it’s probably nothing. but go see a doctor ASAP. ASAP ASAP ASAP. at worst, it will be an inconvenience; at best, it will save your life. i have too many cancer stories about people i know that i even care to recount.

      and please do let us know how it goes!

    • Call your doctor, get it checked out, and truly, don’t spend any more time soliciting internet advice or WebMD info about it. This is the kind of thing that requires a doctor, period.

    • locomotive :

      Go to a doctor. They might send you to a dermatologist (mine did). I had basically the same thing on my upper chest (flesh colored, tiny bit of discomfort when I pushed on it, about 8mm wide) and it turned out to be a epithelial cyst (literally a bag full of skin cells that got stuck beneath the skin). You should definitely go get it looked at, but just keep in mind these are super common for a lot of people and are completely benign, just gross. Unfortunately I had to get mine removed and it scarred right next to where necklaces usually hit so it’s now a big raised puffy scar on my chest and makes me self conscious wearing normal cut tops :( , BUT no health consequences, just my self image.

      • sounds like you’re a perfect fit for the bigger chunky jewelry that some aren’t awesome enough to pull off… it’ll cover your scar but better, it’ll highlight your gorgeous face and neck!

    • Sounds like a cyst, but you should get it checked out immediately. If it’s a cyst, you may need minor surgery, but more likely the doc can drain it in-office and you’ll just have a bandage for a few days. But it could be something more serious, like a fatty tumor or even a tumor tumor.

    • Thanks for the comments; it’s comforting to know about all of the many benign possibilities. I’ll see the doc.

  23. I just wanted to say thank you… I lost my job in November and you all being on my side when the company tried to screw me helped me not to feel so worthless. In December, when my pup first got sick, I became majorly a homebody so I could take care of him and you guys were one of the main way for me to socialize and connect to others when I wasn’t in a professional setting. Now that he’s in his second health crisis, all of your well wishes are an absolute lifeline as I wait to hear whether I’ll get even a small amount more time with him or if the past 6 weeks was my extra time.

    I know we’re really here to discuss jobs and clothes and such but I hope you don’t mind that I’m off topic here… I just really appreciate each of you. Thank you.

    • karenpadi :

      You are welcome! Thanks for the help you’ve given to others.

    • You’re so welcome. Thanks for being a pillar of this lovely community.

    • MissJackson :

      We appreciate all of your sound advice! It’s a two way street :)

    • K, we’re all rooting for you and your diggity dog. Please keep us posted, and hang in there!

    • springtime :

      You’re awesome K! I always like your commentary :).

    • Thank YOU for all of the comments and support you share with the rest of us. Please know that my thoughts are with your pup.

  24. nerve pills :

    Need some job reassurance. Recently interviewed with Midlaw in another market. Interview went well and the recruiter says all reports are positive. Now the firm is looking at their 2012 projections to figure out if they have enough work to feed another atty. Since this would be a relocation, I am grateful they are running the numbers, but part of me feels like they should already be on top of this. I was submitted to them 4 months ago in response to a posted position so it has been a somewhat slow process. I am the only candidate being considered. Words of advice and similar stories with positive outcomes are welcome. I already have floor pacing down.

    • Have to be honest — having lost a job do to insufficient work at the firm — this would be a huge, giant red flag for me. I’d want to know more about how work is assigned, billable requirements, and what exactly happens when those requirements aren’t met.

      • karenpadi :

        Second this. Moved to Big Law from a very stable job in a boutique. Laid off 10 months later. Same thing happened to a friend who was doing the reverse (stable, big law to boutique).

        I’d ask if they have any anti-hoarding policies in place.

        • nerve pills :

          Yeah, I am definitely doing my own research as to what kind of workload they have. They are the biggest player in that market so being tapped out workwise isn’t a good sign.

      • Yes, I’ve gotten this story and had similar situations with two different firms. Neither one worked out, but I ended up finding an awesome job at a firm that did have a need for someone. It if doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be.

    • Check linkedin to see if any associates have departed lately. Consider contacting them to see if they will want to chat. I am aware of one firm in my city that has hired summer associates for full time employment the following year even though they are actively laying off associates (mostly mid levels) currently. There is not enough work yet they keep hiring to keep up appearances. They want clients to think “oh, x firm is healthy, look, they are hiring.” The layoffs are stealth and the associates and firm repeat the mantra that they left for another job or to find a better fit, etc. It is such BS. I know others have left voluntarily to avoid the ax. If someone called them and said what is the true story at x firm, they would dish. If your state has online pleadings, try seeing what lawyers filed things in the last 5 years from that firm. Lexis/Westlaw will have the bigger decisions too. If you are seeing a lot of names that are no longer there, tread carefully.

  25. anonymous :

    After reading the (sometimes heated) conversation about SGK and PP yesterday, I thought the news about SGK changing its policy was interesting, and articulates well both sides of the issue. Whatever your opinion on the outcome, I think it’s particularly impressive what an impact the public reaction made on the decision makers at SGK. All you corporettes who contacted SGK, pulled your donations, or donated to PP actually made a difference, and I think it’s cool when people care enough about their opinions to do something about it and then I see that it’s not a futile exercise.

    • anonymous :


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