Weekend Open Thread

3" chino shortSomething on your mind? Chat about it here.

I forget where I saw it, but I recently saw a picture of Kelly Ripa in her favorite weekend garb: apparently these neon pink chino shorts from J.Crew. They didn’t look overly bright or crazy at all — just kind of perfect with a simple white t-shirt.  J.Crew makes them in a LOT of different colors, as well as different lengths — these are 3″, but they’re also in 4″, 5″, and — only available online — 7″ and 9″ chino shorts. The 3″ neon pink ones are $44. 3″ chino short


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  1. onehsancare :

    I hope it’s not a bad omen that I made my first cup of coffee in my tea mug not my coffee mug. The good news is I made it from the kitchen through the cubes back to my office without spilling any. Batting .500.

    • Mountain Girl :

      If you are wearing anything white and still made it without spilling you get extra points.

    • I’m not sure I understand why it matters that you made coffee in your tea mug. What am I missing here?

      • Ugh, tea residue in my coffee and coffee residue in my tea. Ugh.

      • Either onehsancare is very particular about which mug she uses for which beverage or she does not actually wash her mugs between uses.

        • Anon in Canada :

          Once upon a time, DH and I didn’t have time to buy coffee beans and drank chai and Earl Gray from our travel mugs for the rest of the week.

          The following week, our coffee tasted very strongly of bergamot and cinnamon. And yes, we washed the travel mugs between uses. True story.

      • I thought maybe the coffee mug was larger, and that’s why she was so happy she didn’t spill!

      • Research, Not Law :

        I’m a tea drinker; Husband is a coffee drinker. Occasionally we grab the wrong travel mug, and it’s really gross for both of us. The mugs are washed regularly – the flavors just linger.

      • Yes, tea drinker here and I hate having tea in mugs that taste like stale coffee, which they usually do if they’ve been used for coffee. Drives me insane when my hubby uses my tea mug for coffee or if I go to a restaurant and the mug tastes like coffee. I purposely bought the most floral, girly-girly mugs so hubby won’t use mine. I don’t like the taste of coffee drinks, though I love Haagen-Dazs coffee flavored ice cream and coffee-flavored flan or creme brulee.

  2. cornellian :

    have and love these shorts in two colors. Mine are a size 2 and I’d probalby go with 0 if I ordered again at 5’4 128 ish, FWIW.

  3. After being bummed on missing out the Bay Area meet-up, are there any ‘Rettes in Northern California (non-Bay Area)? Sacramento and surrounding regions?

  4. Midwesterner :

    I finally swore off shorts this summer. I’m 32 years old and just do not feel cute/feminine/comfortable in them. Because I’m pretty lazy on the weekends about hair and make-up, I figure I look much better in a sun dress or maxi dress.

    • SF Bay Associate :

      I gave up shorts years ago and am happier for it. I am in pretty good shape, but something about shorts of any style on me makes me think my thighs look huge. I see women of smaller, same, and bigger, and much bigger sizes of all different builds than me looking great in shorts, but for me, skirts only.

      • cornellian :

        I went through this phase and J Crew pulled me out of it this season. I’ve been trying to pair more substantial and conservative tops with my shorts, which somehow makes them look less like they belong on a 12 year old to me. I have a loosebutton down that my neighbor refers to as my summer outfit.

      • Yep, shorts make me feel like I’m walking around on a pair of chicken drumsticks instead of legs.

    • I feel much more comfortable in sundresses and skirts too. I only wear shorts now to work out.

      • Actualy, these kind of short’s I CAN wear b/c they are not to tight. I will be geting some like these for The BEACH, b/c my tuchus is to big to wear JUST the cute bikini bottom’s alone and I do NOT want to call EVEN more attention to my tuchus at the beach, so shorts is the way to GO.

        The manageing partner will NOT aprove this b/c this is NOT work atire, so I have to pay 100% myself for short’s and halter top’s. Not a bad deal, b/c the big ticket items — skirt’s, suit’s, blouse’s and shoe’s, he WILL pick up the tab for (at 20% that is).

        So anyway, the MANAGEING partner is leting us all go at 4 for the weekend, and I am going RIGHT over to Lord and Taylor’s b/f I go home. There is a good sale going on and I need a new skirt. HAPPY FRIDAY! YAY!

    • Research, Not Law :

      Sigh. I did the same a couple of years ago. The summer J Crew catalog always makes me sad, but shorts just aren’t right for me.

    • Anon Analyst :

      Yep, I’m in my mid-thirties and I stopped wearing shorts a few years ago. Unless I’m lounging around the house or working out. Actually, I do have one pair of white knee length shorts that are more dressy and appropriate for casual Friday’s at my office.

      I’ve been seeing lots of cute looking shorts in stores and I’m tempted to try to incorporate more casual shorts into my wardrobe.

      I wear dresses the majority of the time in the summer b/c I’m lazy it’s nice to just have to worry about one item of clothing.

      • Too funny–I’ve been trying to wear more shorts, fewer dresses and skirts, because I want to be able to work out and also to jump into spontaneous games of soccer, basketball, chase, etc. with my son. I go into a store with all good intentions of buying shorts to wear for momming around town and am inevitably drawn to the sundresses–just the opposite of you!

    • Also not a shorts fan – much happier in casual skirts/dresses. I have a few old pairs that I will only wear around the house, but I do sort of like the bermuda style longer shorts – they don’t ride up and don’t cut me off right at that wide part of my thigh.

    • Anonymous :

      I am also in my 30s but i have been off shorts since, probably college. I’m a pear, and my thighs have always been my thickest/widest point, and i just always hated that feeling of something riding up btween my legs, and always pulling them down, etc. I like skirts soooo much better, and feel cooler in them anyway!

      • oops, that was me! guess i cleared my cache recently…

        • I know what you mean about riding up, but the 7′ shorts seem to stay in place for me. I can’t wear skirts because I have thunder thighs that chafe and am very envious of women who don’t have that problem

          • huh, i think it’s so interesting how people are so different about things like this, because i am totally in thunder thighs land and I guess they [TMI warning] rub together, but somehow I don’t mind it under a skirt, whereas, wearing any kind of shorts when it’s hot, or in any weather, i just can’t stand the feeling of having Any. Fabric. Between. My. Legs. At. All. Ack. Get. It. Off. Right. Now.

    • Senior Attorney :

      Oh, my. I am 53 and still rocking shorts. Even shorts that are pretty darned short.

      In my defense, it gets very hot here, and I don’t generally wear the shortest ones out of the house.

      • Goosebumpy :

        I’m with you! It’s skirts, skirts, skirts at the office, so I like to let my runnergirl legs come out and play on my own time. You can pry my cut-offs out of my cold, dead hands.

      • I’m 31 and shorts are my go to. I love my sundresses in fall/spring but during the summer it’s really hot and humid in VA and I hate when my sweaty thighs rub together :)

      • I don’t think it’s an age thing. I just look much better in skirts, and always have.

        • My grandmother rocked shorts well into the 80s. She had great legs. I’m only 31 but I have cellulite. So I don’t do anything short and shorts that come up to the knee don’t look good on my not so long, not so skinny legs. So no shorts for me. Alas… I’d love to rock the hot pink pair.

          • I wear short skirts, but I have thick inner thighs and shorts just are not flattering on them. In a skirt you can’t tell.

      • same, mid-fifties, still rocking the short shorts – for some reason longer shorts, though it seems to me they are more appropriate for “one my age”, look dopey on me and short inseam shorts look fine. Course I wear jeans most days too, I guess I just like a casual vibe. I do wish the longer shorts looked better so I would feel more put together though.

      • Research, Not Law :

        Hey, no defense necessary! I’m envious. I’d be wearing them if they looked at all flattering!

    • For casual beachwear, I usually wear jersey dresses and mini skirts, but I’m rocking long black shorts with a hot pink JCrew vneck long sleeved tissue tee today, and my pink pirate flip flops, of course. Love the dress code here!

    • Merriweather :

      This could be me! Totally agree. Nothing about shorts makes me feel good.

    • But … what about sweaty thighs? Maybe it’s just me, but I find most skirts/dresses unbearable on a 95-degree day.

      • That’s what bike shorts are for.

      • I don’t know, somehow I feel cooler when my thighs are bare under a skirt, than when they are constricted by fabric completely surrounding them. I guess I can’t explain it. ;o)

    • karenpadi :

      Me too. Haven’t worn shorts in almost a decade. I held on to one pair for boating (canoeing/kayaking) but haven’t really been boating since college.

      I love my sundresses. So comfy, so easy, so pretty.

    • long time lurker :

      I am late thirties and wear shorts on the weekend sometimes. However, I have the same issues with shorts as I do with pants – the rise/fit around the waist/hips. I am kind of longwaisted with a bit of a tummy. I would wear shorts and pants more, because I do like my legs, but finding ones that fit me right is such a giant pain.Skirts are just much easier for me to shop for and fit into, so I do tend to wear a lot of them, along with simple tank-type dresses.

      • Anonymous :

        My mom yells at me when I wear shorts because at 46, she says I am pushing 50. The shorter shorts make my legs look better. Meh.

    • I’m a longtime member of team thunderthighs, so the only shorts I’ve worn for the last 10 years or so have been bermudas. If the shorts go to the knee they work; anything actually short is just not flattering. Glad bermudas have been in style the past few years.

    • I don’t wear shorts very often either because I never find any that fit, mainly because I’m tall and so the shorter lengths feel inappropriate/uncomfortable. BUT, I recently bought these and love them so much that I just ordered another color and may buy a third pair:


      All three Gap locations near me were sold out in almost every color and every size, and they were backordered until September on Gap’s website until recently. So, they must be flattering on ladies of all different shapes and sizes. They come in neon colors too, if anyone is interested.

      • Oh, and they are totally vanity sized. So if you are interested, definitely size down at least one size, if not two.

    • I got a fab pair of what used to be called ‘city shorts’ from gap in a trouser material, four yrs ago. I’m hanging onto them as they’re fab ( knee length) even on my thigh heavy figure.

      Never yet found any as good.

      • Hey ladies, please settle a debate I’m having with my boyfriend, who has agreed to turn to you as an impartial, binding authority on the issue. He has a job where he wears khaki shorts outside all summer (and has great, tanned calves to show for it). Often he will put on a new shirt (buttoned down) when we go out, keeping his shorts on. Our disagreement is in regards to his footwear when going out for dinner after work. On one side of the argument is his black or brown dress shoes with black cotton ankle socks. On the other, loafers with no socks or athletic shoes.

        Please advise.

        • I have trouble believing anyone is seriously advocating that he wear shorts with dress shoes and black socks, but that person is…wrong.

        • Seriously? Loafers or boat shoes with no socks. The other is just goofy.

        • SALit-a-gator :

          Ditto everyone above. Dress shoes which shorts? No. Just no. Ever. I would go with boat shoes or some nice man-dals (sandals for men!).

        • Are you living in Bermuda? If yes, then dress shoes and socks.

          Everywhere else, please. Don’t wear dress shoes with shorts! Boat shoes or very casual loafers are the only way to go.

        • Dear Lord. Loafers with no socks or athletic shoes. No dress socks with shorts, ever.

          • That should say no dress SHOES, although by extension, also no dress socks.

        • Thank you to all who replied. My BF has bowed you your wisdom and conceded his position. THANK YOU. Today we went shoe shopping on Zappos to order him a suitable compromise shoe, and we settled on these: http://www.zappos.com/product/7893430/color/327016. Thanks again!

  5. Yay! It’s the weekend.

  6. Vent: I’ve been looking for a cute, short dress to wear as a swimsuit cover up, and I just spotted the perfect one — on the associate in the next office. At work. Aaack.

    • Anon Analyst :

      Haha, this is funny and frightening at the same time! Luckily at my work, women dress on the more conservative side rather than baring too much.

      • It’s basically just the one associate — please do not ask me what she wore to a big client conference, which she apparently thought would be a good place to meet men — who for many reasons will not be with us after the summer, so it’s not worth the conflict of saying anything to her. But, again, aack.

  7. This is b23. I was at a hearing this morning, so I didn’t get your message. You can email me at [email protected] I’d love to hear from you!

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Work that biz dev, girl :). I love the idea that [this website] can turn into a network of biz referrals.

      • Um, sorry, but I expect that email address will be spammed to death now.

        • I’ve posted my anonymous e-mail on here bunches of times. Have never gotten any spam. Meh.

    • Dessert Doctor :

      Taking off Tuesday through Friday, but mostly because I’m traveling out of state to celebrate my 30th birthday (on the 4th) with family. I’m lucky to be in a job that’s flexible with vacation time.

  8. Wed. the 4th :

    So, how are y’all solving the July 4th dilemma? Taking the whole week off? The weekend before, the weekend after? Just Wednesday?

    • Wed. the 4th :

      Assuming you live in the US and are planning on celebrating Independence Day.

    • Taking off Monday and Tuesday, back in office Thursday and Friday.

      • Me, too. Because I’ve only been at my job for 6 weeks, I only have 2 days accrued. 4:00 can’t come fast enough today…

        • This reminds me how badly I need to find a new job. I have been at my position exactly 7 months now which means I have accrued ONE vacation day (we accrue one day per month after you’ve been here for 6 months). Thankfully the office is closed Wednesday.

          • Wait, you don’t get a bank of 6 days once you complete your 6 months? That is awful.

          • Nope. One of the associates who has been here for 5 years and has plenty of accrued vacation took 3 days off between xmas and new years and our boss gave him a hard time. Even though our boss was out of the office half that week as well…

    • You forgot one option: working every day next week. Because that’s what I’m doing.

    • Taking off Wednesday, Thursday and Friday!

    • I’m just taking the 4th, but I’m really excited because my friend just got a boat, so we’ll be watching fireworks from the river!

      • Nice! I’ll be watching them from my new apartment building’s rooftop. We’re having a party and I’m pretty pumped about it. I hope it’s not 70 million degrees but it probably will be.

    • Just Wednesday. Since so many people are off, I’m going to go joy riding in the company cars, ahem, performing “field trips” and “site visits”.

      • Just Wednesday for me as well. But nobody else will be in the office for the rest of the week so I expect that by about 2pm each day we’ll be putting some music on and rocking like we just don’t care. :-)

    • Anon Analyst :

      The 4th is a company holiday and I’m taking Thursday and Friday off. We’re having people over on Wednesday and the rest of the time I plan to do nothing except read some books and watch Downton Abbey season 2. :-)

    • Senior Attorney :

      Just Wednesday, unfortunately. But I am going to TWO parties so I will be making the most of it!

    • On call tuesday through Sunday. Big resort area expecting beautiful weather. Husband also on call for part of it. Back up plan and back up backup plan in place. My only hope is that people split pretty evenly between coming up this weekend and next. Planning to sleep and chill out this weekend.

    • PharmaGirl :

      Only off on the 4th because the 6th is my last day at my job. Pretty excited to have an empty office for my last week.

    • Taking Wednesday off, working remotely Thursday and possibly a bit Friday. We’re also driving to NoVa this weekend to see our soon to be born nephew! So that will be very exciting!!

    • girl in the stix :

      Taking Thursday, Friday and the following Monday off–but even now it seems too short a time off!

    • Our office has graciously closed its doors on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of next week. I got scheduled for an informal hearing via teleconference on Thursday (since our courts did not get the memo that my office would be closing… hah) So, I will be doing that hearing from the beach.

    • Since almost everyone else is off all next week I decided to take off today and Monday and go in Tuesday. Weird, but Tuesday will be a really quiet day

    • I’m taking off Thursday and Friday and going on vacation (SF/Napa). I just realized that’s the longest time I’ve had off in a row since November! I need to plan more vacations.

      • No days off next week (except Wednesday) and I am actually very excited at the prospect of an empty office. I think I’ll catch up on a lot.

    • Not in the US, but our office is closed Monday for Canada Day (I will work from home a little – month end) and Friday for the Stampede parade (yay!) so only a 3 day work week for me (not counting the little bit of work I’ll need to do Monday).

      Of course, it’s Saturday and I’m in the office today, so a 3 day work week next week will be REALLY nice.

    • Just Wednesday since I used up a boatload of vacation days when we had to go take care of Mr. gov anon’s elderly dad last month. Trying to hang on to the remaining ones so I can take time off at Christmas.

  9. CPA to be :

    Thanks to everyone for encouraging words for me the other night about the CPA exam. I’m in the library right now taking a short study break after a very productive morning. I feel much better about the exam, and even if I don’t pass this section this round, I know I have worked very hard, which gives me some comfort. I’ll let you all know how it goes on Tuesday.

  10. DCettes. Anybody up for a meetup? Email me at dccorporette at yahoo dot com and I can put it together.

  11. I just left my old office for the last time (for 6 months) and start my litigation detail on Monday! I am both elated to be done with my home agency for a while and terrified of the detail.

    Also, I am thinking I should wear a suit on the first day at the detail agency, but my only suit is black polyester, and it’s hotter than the surface of the sun here. Boo.

    • SpaceMountain :

      You might need more than one suit to get through a litigation detail. Won’t you be in court all the time?

      • I don’t think I’ll actually be appearing in court very frequently, just filing things. My SO is a government trial lawyer, and he only has one suit. But I am prepared to buy some more if necessary.

    • Did you ever sort things out with your promotion?

      • They decided to compromise and give it to me during the first 3 months of the detail. I still don’t think it’s fair, but it’s not worth continuing the fight. Thanks for asking!

  12. Ugh moderation. Retrying with out certain words. Anybody up for a get together in DC? My schedule just opened up for a bit. Drop me a line at dccorporette at yahoo dot com and I can send out a note.

  13. This slide show has really made my day. It’s basically DC in a nutshell. http://www.npr.org/blogs/health/2012/06/29/155972981/supreme-court-health-care-ruling-prompts-foot-race-in-press-corps

    • MissJackson :

      Love this, and had not seen it — thanks for sharing!

    • Thank you so much for sharing that. I am dying.

    • This is great. LOVE the woman in the white shift and hot pink shoes. (Are they sport sandals? Can’t tell.) They look much better than the dress with sneakers look, and she really tears it in the last photo.

    • I love it. It also appears that a few women are wearing actual sneakers, but only one of the guys is – way to be prepared, ladies!

    • What’s sad is that people wear the exact same thing to walk 2 blocks to the metro.

      Seriously, DC ladies, you don’t need actual running shoes unless you’re, you know, running. Flipflops, flats, or walking shoes will do.

      (sorry, pet peeve. And this from a woman who starts rocking flipflops with her trenchcoat as soon as it climbs over 50 degrees, so I probably shouldn’t throw stones.)

      • I’m right there with you Bluejay. I’m even ok with streamlined sneakers, just not the huge white sneakers with white tube socks.

      • Eh, I think people should wear whatever they want to feel comfortable on the commute. Plus, you don’t really know how much walking they might have at the other end of the metro ride or if they have an injury or disability or something.

        • I walk two miles each way to the office and have never felt the need to wear gym shoes. Seriously – there are a ton of walking shoes out there that do not look like you’re planning to run a marathon in your business suit. The worst is when they’re worn with white socks and pantyhose.

          • I usually wear comfortable flats, Toms, or Danskos, but I have bad feet, and if I had to walk four miles a day I would absolutely have to wear athletic shoes. And even if I didn’t, who cares? It doesn’t hurt anyone to wear what you want.

          • Second that. Look for German or British shoes if you want comfort with some sensible style. Reike, Clarks, Ecco, even Birk’s footprints.

          • Agreed, DC Jenny.

    • Am I the only one who hears the Chariots of Fire theme in the background while looking at these? Cue the slow motion montage . . .

      • You are not the only one. I made the same comment on Facebook about #4.

  14. Equity's Darling :

    Happy Canada Day!

    I know it’s Monday, but I feel like the long weekend is really the celebration part:) I love fireworks so much. Yay!

  15. SF Bay Associate :

    Whoa – apparently Katie Holmes’ contract is up after five years, because she’s divorcing her resident couch-jumper. See People’s website.

    • WHOA!

    • Ok, this made me laugh. Katie Holmes is testing the free agency market again!

      • Jacqueline :

        Wow! I was never a fan this pair and thought they were both in it for career-enhancing reasons, but I thought they’d stick it out a little longer. Do you think the marriage helped either of their images? I guess she got a bigger profile and some magazine covers, but she’s definitely not A-list!

        • Great article on Slate: It helped neither of their careers, and hurt hers more than his.

    • Yup. Saw that. Cracking me up…

    • I knew it!! I knew it was a five year contract! I also think Suri is Chris Klein’s baby. (And I like to wear tin foil hats).

      • Thirty-Mile Zone :

        I totally agree on all counts. And I used to date a guy that worked at TMZ who gave a lot of “unofficial” support of your latter point.

        • SF Bay Associate :

          Oh no, really? Chris Klein has turned into such a creeper. I watched “The Legend of Chun Li” one day when I was home sick – not only was the movie the worst movie ever, but he was the creepiest and most unnerving presence in that terrible movie. Total s*xual predator vibe. He had that same vibe in the red carpet pictures for American Pie 3. I really hope he isn’t Suri’s father. Yeech.

        • This is the first time I know what TMZ means..

    • Anon Analyst :

      Hm, doesn’t come as a major suprise. I always thought something was a bit manufactured about their pairing.

      • Yeah, but if it was manufactured, it seems like you’d be in it for the long haul. I mean, not like there were any surprises that way, right? I am kind of surprised, I figured if she agreed to marry a crazy dude, she was really committed to the idea.

    • PharmaGirl :

      I’ve been refreshing Suri’s burn book all afternoon. Must know how ‘she’ handles the news!

    • I think the Gawker headline adequately sums it up: Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes Divorcing Because They Couldn’t Fake Being In Love Forever and Plus She’s Not a Dude

      • I know, i Laughed Out Loud when i read that. …. and i share an office ;o)

    • Thank goodness.

      All those Free Katie t-shirts finally worked!

    • I was waiting in line at Marshall’s and checked mail on my phone. I had a breaking news email from People. I admit that I gasped out loud. Strange even to me that I’d care.

      • I was also super surprised, which is weird because it is such.a.weird.pairing.

    • Anonymous :

      I always thought Katie was behaving like this was a short-term gig. She’s spent five years spending Cruise money to build a wardrobe of beautiful, timeless, classic clothes that will serve her for all of her post-Cruise years.

  16. Do any of you have a blog or some such? I’d love to follow you all around the internets!

  17. SpaceMountain :

    I know other military spouses have chimed in previously — if you are mil spouse lawyers, check out this organization I just heard about: the Military Spouse JD Network. They are asking state bar associations to try to make it easier for military spouses to keep their careers despite moving to a new state every few years. I can’t imagine having to re-take the bar every 2-3 years, in addition to raising a family and looking for a new job while your spouse might be deployed overseas.

    • Kontraktor :

      I just read a post on AAM where a lady was asking about how she should resign from her job due to (another) military move. The callousness of some of the commenters was truly sick and appalling. One commenter even went so far as to say that military spouses shouldn’t bother working because they “know” they will move frequently. Um… how about a) it’s illegal to discriminate based on marital status and b) nobody knows anything about the future with 100% certainty, so why should I be expected to be clarivoyant because I am a military spouse? I was blatantly forced to tell one company what my husband did and I got asked how long I was staying, I wanted to say, “Honestly I could get the knock on the door tomorrow letting me know my husband is dead, and then I guess I wouldn’t have that problem of moving frequently with him would I?” None of us know what the future holds, military spouse or not- I mean, we could walk out in the street and get hit by a car this second and not be able to work, so the piont just seems moot to me. I truly resent the fact that we are ‘judged’ in some cases for not knowing the future, especially as military spouses.

      Sorry not much to chime in re bar/exams, but I will say it’s great that there is an organization like this because we need all the help we can get.

      • Kontraktor, I saw that post, too. It is so completely horrible, when I hear these stories it makes me so angry. :o(

  18. Etiquette question: a few moths ago the company I worked for was being awful, and clearly not interested in retaining employees. I started looking around–there are a small number of companies who hire what I do and have various perks and problems. I called up a former coworker who’d left to get his opinion on his new company. We chatted, he was helpful, and I applied and got a job at his company. Now, we all work from home, so I’ve only met him in person once, but his work contributions I respected. He suggested I put him as referring me, and he would get a bonus and we could split it. I did so (because hey, why not?). The bonus just came through and he said he’s sending a check. Sweet! I dot know how much, but it’s more than nothing! Question is–if we were in an office I might make him some cookies or give him a bottle of wine or something, but mailing him something for giving me something seems weird. But should I do it anyway? I mean, he is giving me after tax money, it’s out of his pocket…

    • What a nice guy. I think a thank you note (“Thank you for the referral! I’m excited to join the team”) and a bottle of wine would be perfect, although I agree it’s a bit odd to send a gift. I’d go ahead and mail the thank you note, though. Real mail is always a nice touch.

    • I would probably send something like a small Edible Arrangements or other food item. I wouldn’t write “thanks for splitting your bonus” on the card, but more of a general “I’m enjoying working at your company so far, thanks for all your help getting here” type thing (even if you don’t think he influenced hiring).

    • I’d definitely send a box of chocolate. After all it’s his bonus (because he is truly responsible for you applying) and it’s very generous of him to be sharing it at all, much less evenly.

  19. Need recommendations!

    Looking for a birthday present idea for a teenage girl about to turn 16. I used to babysit her when she was younger – so I think of her as a little sister. I’ve remained close to her and her family since I no longer babysit for them. I am not sure if she will be getting a car/start driving on her own, so any car related ideas are out. Was thinking about some sort of gift card, but that seems like the easy way out right now. She is athletic and plays several sports (volleyball, basketball, softball, runs track), but she’s not what I would call a ‘tom-boy’. She loves hanging out with friends/meeting new people. Looking to spend anywhere from $25-$50.

    Any ideas welcome! Thanks in advance!

    • Does she like makeup? When I was 16 I would have died for a Sephora gift card. I also agree that an Athleta or Lucy card would be great.

      • Anonymous NYer :

        I gave my 15/16 year old cousin a lord and taylor make up set thing for christmas at our annual christmas eve get together. Had like 30 eye shadow colors, a ton of lip colors, and cheek and bronzer colors. She’s always so nice and grateful, but this year she came up to me alone later in the night and gushed about how happy she was with the present and how badly she needed make up (he parents are kinda granola people – awesome, but buying make up for a 16 year old wouldn’t be first on their list)

        So basically what I was trying to say with that long story is ‘I second the make up idea’

    • Second the Sephora idea. I gave my younger cousin (14?) an eye shadow palette from Sephora recently, and she loooooooooooooooooved it.

      • Something similar to this: sephora dot com/smoky-studio-customizable-eye-palette-P310724

    • tell it to her straight :

      how about a copy of ourbodies, our selves?

  20. Random shoutout for Sheraton Hotels… so in my barprep brain(less) state, I booked my hotel room for the bar exam in JUNE. As in not July. I saw the charges on my account and called them, thinking they mistakenly billed me twice. No, its because I no-showed on the June reservation. Doy!

    Not only did they refund my “nonrefundable, nonchangeable” reservation, they rebooked for July at a cheaper rate!

    I know you ladies have an appreciation for good customer service, so I just wanted to share. That and I was freaking about being out the $450, and still in need of a hotel room. Whew!

    • That is fantastic.

    • That is really nice. I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m booking (I feel like I’ve had good Sheraton experiences before too.)

  21. Athleta or Lucy gift card? Both have really good sales and you could stretch a $50 gift card.

    Sweatybands headbands are cute and come a lot of fun prints

  22. Help, I got fat. :

    OK, corporettes. I have a question for you. over the last two years I’ve packed on about 25 lbs. I’ve had a lot of stressors and been really busy… but it was still a lot of weight. I am not a naturally thin person but I kept things around a size 4/6 by watching what I ate and working out. At some point I just lost control and I feel like I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. I have developed some seriously bad habits, especially in the dietary department. It’s also been hard to get psyched about exercise.

    Anyone have tips on how to stay motivated/change habits for the good? I tried medifast but it was too hard and I couldn’t do it while still keeping up the social work obligations I have.

    Anyhow, any tips you might be able to give me for getting back on the wagon, I’d be much obliged. I’m at the end of my rope! So frustrated.

    • PharmaGirl :

      Right there with you. In the past year I somehow started eating Dunkin Donuts sandwiches twice a week and Starbucks croissants 3 days. Neither are even delicious! This plus the potato chips with a sandwich every day for lunch lead to me gaining over 10 pounds in a year.

      I joined weight watchers about 10 days ago and already feel so much better about myself. I’m still quite hungry but have lost a few pounds already mostly due to controlling portion sizes and choosing healthier options. It’s helped me stay accountable to myself. Perhaps that’s what you need? Exercise has never come naturally to me and, quite frankly, I hate it.

      • jbgsunshine :

        Hey pharmagirl, I’m right there with you, coincidentally. Pretty much the same gain over the last yr and signed up to WW for the first time 8 days ago. Good luck!

      • Might I suggest the book French Women Don’t Get Fat? Despite the flippant title, it’s a very enjoyable and meaningful read.

        Biggest messages: eat simply, savor life and enjoy your food.

    • Accountress :

      I don’t diet, so I’m not going to be helpful in that aspect, except to say that the best way to avoid cravings is to remove restrictions, and to take the time, if possible, to make food you will enjoy eating and that will nourish you.

      As far as not being psyched about exercise, I recommend finding something that you enjoy. I think there’s someone on here who takes a hula class, or if you’re a fan of music, maybe a Zumba class? Swimming, what with the summer being in full swing, can be a fun way to move- especially because it’s easy to go from exercise to relaxing and back again.

      Remember to take your time getting back into the swing of things, and that your health is more important than your weight.

    • For the exercise bit, if you truly can’t bring yourself to go to a gym and are stressed for time, I strongly recommend Jillian Michaels workout videos, plus trying to get in more walking/taking the stairs in your everyday life. The videos are only 25 minutes, but they are very intense and will leave you sore the next day. It’s also great because there are beginner and advanced versions of the moves she does – when I was finally able to do the whole series on the beginner level, I went back and did the advanced versions. But also do remember if you’re otherwise usually sedentary during the day, nothing beats just walking (or even standing!) more.

    • Migraine Sufferer :

      Ten Years Thinner, Weight Watchers. Works for me.

    • Anonymous :

      I’ve used a fresh (not frozen) meal delivery service. Most of the meals are good, a few are not, and a few are delicious. I keep only a few supplements in the house — hard-boiled eggs and Greek yogurt because most of the meals I dislike are breakfasts, canned tuna in case I’m really hungry after a workout or something, and fresh fruit and greens. The downside is that it is expensive. The upside is that after about a week of having no choice about what to eat, I’m no longer a slave to cravings. Plus, since the portions are limited, my body has acclimated to that meal size. I, too, have work-related social obligations, but find myself making very different choices at them now. My plan is 1200 calories/day. If I eat two of those meals, I can still be a little more indulgent at the third meal a few days a week without going off the rails.

    • 5 months ago I could have written this same post! (Except more than 25 pounds and it took me a few more years to really wake up and realize what happened and that I needed to do something about it.)

      Everyone is different, of course, but what worked for me was
      1. committing to putting my health (and in this case, weight loss) first, and
      2. myfitnesspal program.

      I’ve never tried WW (I know others swear by it). But I absolutely LOVED myfitnesspal, and it has worked very well for me. It’s not perfect, of course. I think if you have real health problems, it probably won’t work because of how simple it is. Basically, you tell it how much you weight, how much you want to lose, how fast you want to lose it (e.g. 1 pound a week), and it calculates how many calories per day you should be eating. After that, it’s up to you how you distribute those calories.

      At first, I thought it was insane–mine came out to 1200 calories a day and I did not think it was humanly possible. But then, a couple of things happened:
      1. I became highly motivated to exercise (it’s a way to “buy” yourself more calories for the day);
      2. my body got used to eating less;
      3. I became aware of just how much extra food I was eating when I wasn’t really hungry (and not bad food even–lots and lots and lots of fruit–obviously I did not get fat from eating too many pieces of fruit, but it does add up, too).

      I started trying to figure out ways to work exercise into my regular routine. For example, instead of catching up with a friend over lunch, I suggest that we catch up by going for a walk instead. (This is not working as well at the moment because it’s so hot in the summer, but it worked pretty well all spring.)

      I can honestly say that now, 20 pounds lighter (and more to go :)), I am feeling so much better. I am less depressed because in the morning, I don’t try to avoid looking in the mirror. I have more energy. And I feel like I have control over my life again.

      One more thing about myfitnesspal–I think what I like about it is also the fact that it takes the process of weight loss day by day. You have a bad day–you eat too much–that’s ok–you can always do better tomorrow. I found out that I have friends and colleagues who use the program, too, and we are “pals” on it–so they can see if I am exercising, losing weight, etc., and they can post encouraging comments on it (and I do the same for them). It’s an extra level of accountability, if that’s what you need to keep going. (You don’t have to do this, if you want the process to be private.)

      Oh, and I almost forgot–myfitnesspal also tracks some of your nutrients (the “main” ones). So I also discovered that I was not getting enough calcium in my day (especially once I started cutting back on cheese…), so I started eating the chewable vitamins, AND I discovered that I was not getting enough iron. I assumed that I was feeling sluggish because I was too tired and overworked, but now I wonder, if at least in part, it was because of the iron deficiency. I don’t know if I am now more energetic because I have more iron, or because I am exercising, or because I am not lugging around 20 extra pounds of weight, but I know that for some people an iron deficiency can have serious problems and so I was really glad that I “caught” this problem.

      Good luck, whatever program you choose!

      • ChocCityB&R :

        anonie–I swear by MFP, I was able to lose nearly 60 lbs using it, and I still use it every day. I’ve tried countless times to get some MFP users who frequent cOrp*ette to add me to their friend list because I have three friends now and I love the inspiration. If you are interested in adding another friend to your list then please add me @ milele_transfome.

  23. Anyone know where I can see fireworks in the Boston area on Saturday? I’m coming into town for the weekend. I’ll be back in the boonies on the actual Fourth. :(

    • many years ago :

      they used to do it from the bandshell on the charles, with the symphony playing.

      • They still do, but it’s on July 4th, so JAS1 won’t be in town to see them.

    • If you had asked yesterday I would have said Somerville, where we do them the Thursday before the 4th (even if it’s June). But I don’t know where else to see them in the area.

  24. Pumping at work :

    Question for the group about a gift to buy myself. I was thinking about this yesterday while I read the “push present” conversation. Here’s the deal: I am a mother of four and am approaching my twins’ first birthday. I nursed babies 1, 2 and now 3&4 for a year each (assuming I make it another 2 months with the twins). This involves lots of pumping as I work full time as a businesswoman, earning the majority of our household income. I did not receive a push present at any point (my husband is wonderful and does half if not more of the housework and parenting; he was completely against the idea of such a gift saying, “the present is the baby”).

    Anyway, I feel that nursing 4 kids to one year is a huge accomplishment. When the time comes to wean the twins I’d like to mark it somehow. It’s not just about a material object, it’s about the idea of celebrating this milestone. If I were the kind of person who gets tattoos, maybe I’d get a tattoo for this (but please note I am definitely not a tattoo person; more an Hermes scarf person). I would like to mark this milestone by investing in some treat for myself, some luxury I will have and enjoy for a long time and that will remind me of how much I love nursing, how lucky I feel to have been able to do it, and how much effort and committment it required.

    Any ideas about this? I’m imaging spending about $2K-$3K. Some ideas on my mind are: classic quilted Chanel bag (worried I might not use it much); 3 gold bangles (I’ve been wanting them a while), Louis Vuitton something…Note that I am not partial to kid-themed jewelry and am not really looking for something that would have their pictures/initials/genders, etc. Any ideas?

    • I like the idea of the gold bangles but I’d get 4 – one per kid. I know you don’t want anything “kid themed” but I like the subtlety. To others it will just be pretty pretty jewelry. To you, it will be a reminder of your accomplishment, four times over.

      • SF Bay Associate :

        I love this idea, Anon. 4 bangles, one for each kid. That’s awesome. LV is so very overpriced, IMO, and also not that special, though many of LV’s pieces are certainly very beautiful and expensive. I still think about those pleated satin pumps with black lace edging LV did like six years ago. Meanwhile, good quality jewelry lasts forever (I swear I don’t work at DeBeers). Every time you wear them, you can remember your amazing accomplishment.

      • I like this idea (especially the subtle symbolism). I also like the idea of diamond earrings.

      • I think this is a lovely idea.

      • Senior Attorney :

        Anon, you beat me to it! Definitely 4 gold bracelets!!

    • I’ve always wanted to buy myself a beautiful right hand ring. I especially like some of David Yurman’s designs. I also love Mulberry bags, and the LV Alma bags. But like you, I’m a huge fan of scarves, and I think in your situation I might buy four Hermes scarves, each with a theme that reminds me of one child in some way. That would make it more special, and also, Hermes scarves!

    • SAlit-a-gator :

      Wow. Nursing 4 kids while being the major household breadwinner?!? You go girl! That is not an easy feat and you should definitely celebrate. My first thought was not an item but a vacation – kids are exhausting and a trip to Napa with the husband might be just what the doctor ordered. If you do, however, want an item that will remind you of this accomplishment I would go with something you can wear / use a lot. I like the idea of gold bangles, diamond studs, or maybe an nice classic watch (Michelle? Rolex? Cartier?). Handbags are nice, and last a long time, but in my opinion not as long as a watch or jewelry. Congratulations again superwoman!

      • Second this! I am so impressed. Having 4 kids and being a breadwinner? NURSING all 4 kids? Do you write a blog because I’d like to know how you do it.
        Congratulations, you deserve it.

    • A nice watch to commerate countless hours, a necklace to commerate something precious on on your chest. Ok, I will stop with the theme. I don’t have a problem with child commeration presents. In fact, we each got one in our house. I got a diamond watch, he got a BGE grill.

    • I pumped for almost a year as a surgery resident and give you major props for doing it for four kids over three years. I chimed in negatively on the “push” presents, but you are celebrating an achievement, something that took a lot of dedication and sacrifice and commitment to do. Any one who says “breast feeding is free” doesn’t think about YOUR opportunity cost for pumping.

      So get what you want. I personally might get that bag that was featured yesterday, but think about what you would wear, and love to catch a glimpse of in the mirror, or when you look at your hand. I agree with kanye –Treat yoself

    • No ideas on a nice gift to yourself, but, 2 months from now, you totally have to take the pump into a field and have at it with a baseball bat (a la Office Space).

    • iPhones to Suri or not to Suri...or Siri :

      A wise woman once told me that an expensive watch is worth it. no one questions you when you keep looking at your watch repeatedly, day after day after day. Staring at your ring? Not so normal. Staring at your watch? Expected.

    • You could also always get yourself an embroidered Kanye West tweet.


      • Research, Not Law :

        Oh, the water bottle one has me in tears laughing! Oh, boy. EXACTLY what I needed today!

        But for OP: I really like the four bangles or four scarves idea, but iPhone makes a good point about the watch. I have personally been planning on getting a right-hand ring after the next child with one stone for each. I considered a nice bag, but I think I’d end up never using it because I wouldn’t want it to get worn, so it would be pointless. The ring I could wear every day.

        Congrats!!! Pumping is miserable.

    • For one mothers day i decided i wanted a mothers ring, but not a tradidional one. I had three stacking rings made, each with the birthstone of one of my babies. It’s nominally from my husband, but im the one who worked with the jeweler, picked out the stones, etc. and let’s be honest – i paid for it too. I knew i was done having babies and this seemed a nice way to mark the occasion.

    • Working Girl :

      I am pumping while reading this, and I am in awe of your having made it so far with 4 kids. As helpful as husbands want to be–and can be–I don’t think they can ever understand what a sacrifice it is to take your clothes off in the middle of the work day and wash a bunch of flanges and bottles multiple times a day for a year. So please reward yourself with something fabulous that makes you feel really, really, really, really great. You deserve it.

  25. Can any of you amazingly wise, creative women help me think of a gift idea. It’s for a friend’s husband’s bday. She is the one who needs the help. I can’t think of anything to suggest because everything I suggest is apparently wrong. Him and I have zilch in common and, frankly, we are not each other’s biggest fans. He loves cars, cars, and gadgets. He also gets himself all the gadgets he comes across so it’s hard to know what he’d want that he doesn’t already have. He is also into martial arts and action heros, and cars … did I mention cars? Experience ideas are welcome but he cant do flight lessons because he hates heights and he can’t do sailing lessons because she doesn’t want him busy for a whole weekend. Tickets to a show/that sort of thing are out because that’s an anniversary present, not a birthday one, apparently. My friend would like to spend about $150-300, but would probably spent more for the right idea. TIA!!!!

    • SF Bay Associate :

      Around here, there are very special car rental agencies that will rent you a ultra-luxurious sports car, like a Lotus or a Ferrari or a Bugatti, for a day. Renting one of these is on my husband’s bucket list. Is that available around you?

    • Ha, I have a friend’s fiance who sounds very, very similar. He still lives at home at 32 *cough cough* and so has quite the disposable income and just buys himself whatever he wants. He likes to think he’s really smart (it’s really fun when he tries to lecture me about an area I’m a subject matter expert in based on the Wired article he read), I’m guessing this guy does too – so some sort of impressive book/set of books/first edition? Early edition of a comic book he likes?

    • Maybe a “Nascar experience” thing where he gets to drive a car on the track?

      • Senior Attorney :

        Or a stunt driving class?

        • That’s what he wants. There’s a school for this, apparently. But its $2700 to do it and she doesn’t want to be so extravagant. For the record, I would kill my hubs if he spent $2700 on a stunt driving class.

    • long time lurker :

      This person sounds like my brother, who is into those things and who I usually give cash, which is I guess not an option for your friend. Does he have a favorite restaurant/food? Books or subscriptions to magazines re cars and gadgets plus a dinner out?

      • My friend nixed the restaurant idea because that’s not “special” enough for him. Subscriptions are no go because he gets those through work and expenses them.
        Renting a fancy car would be possible but too expensive ($1-2K, apparently).
        There’s no nascar where they are and my friend doesn’t know enough about his collecting hobbies to get him something re: one of his superheros.
        In short, he’s impossible, she’s impossible, and everytime I talk to her about this, it makes me want to stab him in the eye and makes me want to ask her why she is with this doosh!?
        But pls., pls., pls., keep the ideas coming.

        • This is ridiculous. It’s bad enough she’s investing all this energy into this princess, but now you’re doing it and you’re enlisting others to do so too. I think you should stop indulging her in this.

    • iPhones to Suri or not to Suri...or Siri :

      Expensive bottle of liquor? I mean, is he into scotch? You can spend that much money on a bottle of scotch.

      • She got him super fancy vodka last year. Do you guys see what I am dealing with? ;-)

    • Holy crap. Maybe she should just get him a clue. If he didn’t sound like such a prima dona (dinner isn’t special enough?!) I’d say that she could find him some Matchbox sized cars of the super fancy cars and a display case.

      Frankly, I don’t think she should get him anything, because clearly nothing will make him happy. But that isn’t very helpful. Or any of my business. And you are a good friend to try to help. And I give you permission to tell her that you’re out of ideas, and that it’s not your fault he has Special Snowflake Syndrome.

      Hey – there’s an idea. Set up a charity in his name and call it the S-Cubed Foundation and then never tell him what the SSS stands for.

      • sorry – that was overly snarky and slightly mean. I do wish her (and you) the best of luck with the gift shopping.

      • Hahahaha, I would love it, but I fear my friend would never understand.
        I may tell her I am officially out of ideas. All this for a guy didn’t do very much on either of her last two birthdays. For realsies…

        • Then she should get him the guy version of whatever he got her, so they have a set. No way he can argue against that!

      • Merriweather :

        Special Snowflake Syndrome. I. am. dying.

      • {Like Button}

    • Whatever happened to a good old-fashioned BJ? It doesn’t sound like he’d be interested in anything else, frankly.

    • Are you on the East Coast?
      Lake Placid has skeleton and bobsled “experiences”. It’s the complete opposite of stunt car driving, but really fun.

    • Beer brewing class
      Day at the go-kart track or ATV trails
      Leather driving gloves
      Tires (no really)
      Something from his favorite car brand (example: BMW website has some nice jackets/sweaters, bags, etc.)

    • D Train South :

      How about the Nest thermostat? Too boring? It’s a great gadget.

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