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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. It’s not quite holiday party season just yet, but I think it’s never too early to look for a comfortable pair of shoes that also looks a bit special. I really like the gold leather bits, and I think the exposed platform works here. The black/gold combo strikes me as a classic, whereas the teal (pictured), hot pink, and royal versions seem like fun, trendy takes (and would add that little somethin’ somethin’ to a black cocktail dress). The Claudine pump is $145 at Zappos. Ivanka Trump – Claudine (Dark Teal/Modern Gold) – Footwear (L-2)Workwear sales of note for 4.18.24
Our favorites are in bold!
- Ann Taylor – 50% off full-price dresses, jackets & shoes; $30 off pants & skirts; extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 20% off purchase
- Boden – 25% off through 4/18; 15% off 4/19-20; 10% off 4/21
- Eloquii – 50% off select styles; 60% off swim; up to 40% off everything else
- Everlane – Spring Sale: up to 60% off 600+ styles
- J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Extra 60% off sale styles; up to 50% off spring-to-summer styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off $125+; extra 25% of $150+; up to 60% off everything; extra 50% off clearance
- Nordstrom – Free 2-day shipping for a limited time (on eligible items)
- Talbots – Spring Sale: 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns; 30% off new T by Talbots
- White House Black Market – 25% off entire purchase; $50 off $200
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Stay tuned for a list of our latest threadjacks!
anon
I am curvy and want a pair of oxblood/burgundy skinny jeans. Does anyone have recommendations that work better for ladies with curves?
L from Oz
Brax, but I’ve no idea if they’re available where you are. (I have three pairs – not in oxblood but I tried some on.) Ideal for the curvy!
Bluejay
Someone asked this in the past few days – search through the previous threads.
CDA
Surprisingly, I have a pair from H&M that I really like. I’m not SUPER curvy, but there is a goodly difference between my waist and hips, and these fit very well.
a lawyer
Looking for “collarless” blouse or shirt to wear under typical suit jacket. Any ideas on search terms to use? I’m small (5 feet even, size 0 or 2 petite) so the big pockets on the Banana Republic top from yesterday are sort of overwhelming, and i still don’t do collared blouses under suit jackets very well. They stick out or one side sticks out and the other does not, very hard to deal with.
TIA.
Blonde Lawyer
I found some button fronts with a scoop neck and no collar at the Van Heusen outlet. They run big so you would def. need an xs. I love them though.
Basics
I like the Talbots pleated jewel neck top. Short sleeves. Silk. Lots of colors. Goes with suits well.
anon
So, my husband carries his reading glasses around with him everywhere, in a hard case, usually in his pocket. They are still in the original Lens Crafters (or whatever case) that he got them in years ago, and the case is falling apart. Any ideas on where to find attractive hard eyeglass cases for men?
M-C
Any good optometrist..
Monday
Yes, they will likely give you a plain one for free. I’ve also seen them at Bed, Bath and Beyond. I’m sure there’s a plain black option or something.
Midori
Oh oh oh! These shoes make me want to throw a holiday party just so I’d have somewhere to wear them. Love!
Also: I know it’s late in the thread, but can I announce the delivery of my DS#2? He arrived Wednesday morning via c-section, and he’s about the most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life. He’s still in NICU (was a tad early), but we’re hoping and praying he’ll be able to come home soon.
Soooo, lesson for you pregnant sisters out there: It’s never too early to start leaving your desk in order, even if your pregnancy is looking normal and boring. I never dreamed going into my regular 36 week checkup that I wasn’t going to make it in to work that afternoon and maternity leave starts NOW. Normal and boring can turn into change of plans instantly in this realm.
a.
Congrats on the kidlet! I’ll be hoping and praying along with you that he gets home soon :)
Fiona
Congrats!!! I hope he gets out of the NICU soon!
Ellen
Yay! I would trade sitting as an attorney admitted in NYS for a full time mom, even tho I still want to be a judge eventuealley. Because of calendar call I will have to fly down sepereately from Jim to do dileigience. I can’t beleive I am already workeing and would much perfer to be burpeing MY OWN BABY! I first find a decent guy to marry me
EC MD
Yay!
Bluejay
Congratulations!!!!
Now may be a good time to tell a short story about the time my boss took his first vacation in a year and the weekend he left, his second-in-command went into labor a month early. That left me taking over all her projects and running the department for two weeks. It was super fun! So yes, please plan ahead and at least have available some notes on the current status of your projects. It would also be helpful to share your email password with a trusted colleague so that whoever covers for you doesn’t have to fight with IT to get access to your account to answer urgent emails from people who don’t know you had a baby.
rosie
Congratulations! Sending good thoughts to you, your little one in the NICU, and the rest of your family!
Senior Attorney
Congratulations and a big welcome to your boy!!! Here’s hoping you’re all home together super soon!!
Blonde Lawyer
Congrats!
eek
Congratulations! I hope your little man gets to come home soon.
EB0220
Congrats on your new addition! Hope he comes home soon! This happened to me exactly. My baby arrived at 36 weeks and I was only about 50% prepared for leave.
Chellers
Congratulations!!
korakel
I know we’ve had some discussion of tipping quite recently, but that was mostly about housekeepers and waitresses.
I recently started my own business, and work from home. And I order a lot of things online (hate real-life-shopping, love internet-shopping).
Before, I had the packages delivered to my office, where the receptionist took care of them. Now, I have become very close with my mailman. Do I tip him? How often, how much? Or could I tip him at Christmas, like I do with the paperboy?
LF
I think postal workers, as government employees, aren’t allowed to accept more than a certain dollar amount ($10? $20?) in gifts. A Starbucks card at Christmas for a nominal amount will be appreciated.
Lyssa
Wedding question: We got a save-the-date for a June destination wedding yesterday. But it has a regular RSVP section (where there’s no option for “I’ll let you know when it gets closer” or anything like that). FWIW, it’s not actually a wedding – they’ve already gotten civilly married, but they’re referring to it as their “wedding.”
The wedding is for my husband’s younger cousin, who he is fond of, and he does want to go. But it’s in Mexico, and money is tight right now, so this would almost certainly be our “vacation” for the year. I guess the location is fine, as far as vacations would go (I don’t really know much about the area, but it’s a common vacation destination and we like Mexico), but I’d certainly prefer to be able to plan our own vacay, rather than just attend someone else’s. Also, we’ll have a 6 month old at the time, and I sort of feel like I’d like to actually get used to the whole baby-caring for thing before I commit to taking him anywhere, much less to Mexico (My husband’s a lot more of a “eh, we’ll work it out” sort). Though, on the flip side, I guess if we’re going to take him somewhere, this will be easier because there will be other family members around to help out. (Or, he could probably stay with my mother, but I’m not sure how I’d feel about that for however long this trip winds up being.)
Anyway, my question is – are you really supposed to RSVP now for a June wedding? I always thought save-the-dates were more about announcing, and you didn’t have to make a commitment then.
Longhorn
You are under no obligation to attent every wedding your are inviting to, especially ones that cause you distress. RSVP promptly “no,” send a gift wishing them the best, and feel no guilt about it!
(Not to mention that everything they are doing is a ridiculous faux pas–it’s not a “wedding,” it’s a party, or a reception. And yes, it is absurd for them to expect an RSVP nine months before the wedding).
Lyssa
Oh, I wouldn’t go as far as to say that it’s causing me distress, I just don’t want to commit right now to it. And it is important to my husband, so I also don’t want to say no right now, either. He’s a good kid, the cousin, and we’re both fond (we’ve been married long enough and he was young enough that I’ve just about always been part of his life).
LF
He and his wife probably didn’t know any better! If there isn’t an “RSVP by” date, I might give him a call and explain that you won’t be able to make a decision to attend until later… say, after you’ve had the baby. I think that’s a reasonable call to make. 9 months is very early to send out RSVPs — in my experience, 2 to 4 months is more typical.
Star
I agree with this. I’m wondering whether they decided to send the invitations early since attending a destination wedding might require a little more planning and forethought on the part of the guests. It may be that they’re not expecting an RSVP any time soon, but wanted to inform people of the date well in advance.
Bluejay
If it’s a save the date, won’t an actual invitation be coming closer to the date? That’s confusing. Since it’s a family member, I think you should call or email to clarify things and tell him you won’t be able to RSVP until much later. Who requires an RSVP 10 months in advance?
Lyssa
That’s what I’m trying to figure out – I thought that it was just to let us know at first (which was good, so that we could go ahead and discuss it), but was really surprised to see the RSVP section at the end.
I do think that it will be fine to just say that we don’t know right now, at least I guess it will. Crazy, though.
Coach Laura
Lyssa, I think a “Save the Date” for a destination wedding is a good thing for vacation planning. Some employers, like my hubby’s, require vacation requests 9-12 months in advance, and if you don’t get your request in, you most likely won’t get the time off. The bride and groom are probably hoping to get rid of as many obstacles as possible to ensure that people can go. I think it’s OK to tell the couple that you’ve “saved” that time and would love to come and hope to come, but you’ll have to make a final decision after the babe is born.
Lucy
I’d contact them and say that you are so excited to hear about the upcoming celebration but would like to hold off on your RSVP until you have a better sense of how things will change after the baby comes. Perhaps you could suggest a date that’s feasible for your own decision making and say that you’ll let them know as soon as you have an idea, and certainly by X date?
So then they can either say no, you have to decide now or oh sure, that will be fine. Whether or not they’ve made a faux pas is not highly relevant to your decision-making, IMO.
mamabear
I agree with Lucy.
If we’re going with traditional etiquette here, you wouldn’t just fill out the RSVP card anyway. You’d write a beautiful note on your best stationery congratulating the couple and letting them know whether you plan to attend. So do that – write them a note, tell them you hope to be able to attend but won’t be able to fully commit until closer to the date. You don’t even have to tell them why.
Bunkster
@Mamabear – thanks for letting me know about the shoe sale on zulily a couple of weeks ago. I got this gorgeous pair of boots: http://www.zulily.com/p/chocolate-danik-wedge-boot-20646-665861.html?s=1&pos=-46039
They’ll be perfect for tramping across campus to meetings.
mamabear
Oh yay! I love being a shopping enabler. And I love those boots.
Avodah
Hi there! I’m new(ish) to this website, and I have only commented a few times. I’m making a career change from academia to finance.
Right now, I have an EA job at a fund of funds. Any fashion tips for people who are in a support role, but hope to soon grow out of that role?
Basically, how does one “not dress like a secretary”? I’d love to hear peoples’ thoughts and advice!
a lawyer
Take this with a grain of salt, b/c I am in small town law, and our secretaries often dress like they are going to a Saturday picnic, but I would say that adding a blazer or jacket, non-matching, with skirts or nice dress pants adds a “non-secretarial” look. I often wear cardigans instead of the jacket, but I do thnk the jacket adds a professional look.
hellskitchen
I second the non matching part. Never thought about it before but it makes sense…. say wearing a navy jacket with a printed red dress instead of a red jacket. The latter would look too matchy-matchy and not professional enough
e_pontellier
I think “dressing like a secretary” basically means frumpy. So, don’t be frumpy. That little bit of extra effort you put into getting ready (having your nails done, esp. in a big city this is important), wearing jewelry, actually doing your hair, etc., is where you can stand out as not-a-secretary-forever I think.
Sydney Bristow
There is a secretary at the law firm I work at who always looks fantastic. She dresses up to the same level as the female attorneys do on non-court days. Actually, most of the secretaries at the firm do. When I first started, I couldn’t tell for the most part who was support staff and who was an attorney. She wears a lot of pencil skirts, blouses, cardigans, and heels. I think the main reason she immediately jumps to mind is that she must get everything tailored because it all fits her perfectly.
Avodah
Thanks! I’m glad to see I am on the right track. I usually do some combination of pencil skirt, dress slacks, blouse, dress,cardigan, jacket.
Good thought on getting one’s nails done- I agree 100%
Senior Attorney
Just don’t get your nails done with, like, little flowers on your nails. To me, nothing screams “support staff” like nail art.
/curmudgeon
Avodah
@ Senior Attorney
I only get flower designs on my overly long french manicured nails when they match my stonewashed jeans and polyester shirt from JC Penney.
Sometimes, its nice to bleach my dark brown hair so it is “blonde” and pull it back in a super tight ponytail, or hell, just use a butterfly clip.
Its my style. Sort of like the Precious Moments figurines on my desktop and multiple cat calendars.
/sarcastic
(For the record, my nails are short, filed and buffed. My hair is worn in a shoulder-length cut. Most of clothes are black or gray with some jewel-toned blouses and cardigans. My desk decor consists of pens, files and paper clips.)
Tina
Mean girl alert.
Avodah
@ Tina (and Senior Attorney)
I didn’t mean for that to be “mean” I was being silly in response to, what I assume was, a silly comment regarding flower designs on nails.
I apologize if you were offended!
Tuesday
I have a lawyer question I’m hoping someone here can answer. The background is that my FIL has named DH as executor. FIL’s lawyer has prepared all the documents (will, trust). DH (and I) do not like FIL’s lawyer. We think he’s been a bit sloppy and we know he’s very expensive. FIL is not inclined to change lawyers at this point. The question is, once FIL passes, can DH, as executor, simply get a new lawyer to help wind up the estate? I’m thinking it should be like changing doctors — the new lawyer would just request the file from the old lawyer, and we’d proceed from there. Is that true, or did I just make it up?
Thanks for your help.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
There is no rule that the lawyer who drafted the documents must also probate the estate. Once all of the documents are drafted, your FIL will have all of the originals (and if the lawyer is good, your DH, as named PR will have copies), so once he passes, you just take the originals to a lawyer of your choosing to handle probate.
Maya Culpa
Your DH should retain any Probate lawyer he prefers. I have observed where the attorney who helped execute the Will is not always the same atty the family hires to administer the estate. The only reason why my answer may be wrong is if your fil specifically states in his Will that this particular attorney must be retained (which I have also seen), if that is the case, then you should consult with an attorney to see how you can sub counsel.
Tuesday
Thanks, that’s reassuring. We are of course hoping not to have to deal with this for quite a long time, but want to be as prepared as we can be so stuff like this isn’t made harder by dealing with it through the veil of grief.
e_pontellier
@ AnonAz – I would love your Dressler Crim book if you still have it! If you have an anonymous email set up, I’ll email you there, but otherwise, I’ll set up an anonymous one so you can email me. Thank you so much!!
AnonAZ
I do, but I can’t remember the log in! I’ll play with it and look for the book, and post here this afternoon!
AnonAZ
Found it! Its the fourth edition of Dressler’s Understanding Criminal Law treatise published by LexisNexis. The copyright date is 2006, so its not super recent but I doubt the basics of crim law have changed. If you’re still interested, you can email me at anonaz28@yahoo.com.
e_pontellier
I emailed you!
Anon in MD
This is probably too late in the weekend to be seen, but it appears that, based on wireless router names, ELLEN lives in my new building. ;)
ELLENWatch
If you’d be comfortable giving at least a sketchy sense of what you mean, I’d appreciate it. Word choice? Use of caps? spELLEN?
T-shirt PSA
T a r g e t has nice scoopneck tees right now, which I’ve found to be great under cardigans and blazers. As usual, sizing is a bit large. There’s an apparel promotion for 10% off 2 items and 20% off 3 items.
http://www.target.com/p/merona-womens-gathered-neck-top-assorted-colors/-/A-13916176
Some of the review mentioned holes appearing in the shirts, which I haven’t experienced – the quality could vary between shirts.
I'm Just Me
I have that shirt in several colors (and a few prints as well) and wear them frequently. I have not developed any holes either, but there are differences in the fabric thickness between colors.
I have not found them to run large, but that may be because I am larger to start out with.
SFgirlatheart
I work for a professional services firm as the business developer for a regional office. I’ve been approached by the Pres and VP of the company to relocate to a new office in SF (my hometown). It’s about 7 months from now, but they are talking now. I’ve told them that I wouldn’t move unless the offer allows me to have a similar standard of living that I do now. I was “assured” that it would, but no numbers have come up.
I’ve asked for an exploratory trip to meet with contacts, meet with the proposed principal in charge and for our family to look at places we may want to live. The Pres. said it was ok to go, but the company wouldn’t pay for airfare for my family– just me.
I must have had a shocked face because the Pres then asked to show him some numbers. The airfares are not that pricey, all three tickets are the price of most average last minute tickest that we normally buy. I’m not sure if this is a price thing or a principle thing.
I’d love some input from you ladies on negotiations. I feel that I should be getting a substantial pay raise (with cost of living index, seems to be close to a 70% pay increase), would like to ask to be made an associate and ask for a spot bonus.
However, this hestitancy from the Pres. is making me wonder if I’m going to squeezed. I’m happy in my current position and we are doing better financially. My husband is interested in the move mostly to be closer to family and friends.
Thanks! (this is my first real post, so I appreciate your help)
e_pontellier
If you don’t get many responses over the weekend, try posting early in a thread during the week. You might have better luck / more responses.
That being said, I was surprised to read that you requested that the company fly your whole family out to CA. IMHO, that’s pretty unusual — you’re the employee, you’re the one getting a new job within the company (presumably), so it seems like only you should go. If it were me, I’d want my husband to come, but I would definitely try to leave kidlet(s) at home (obviously with appropriate supervision) and I would definitely expect to pay for husband’s ticket.
You said: “I’ve told them that I wouldn’t move unless the offer allows me to have a similar standard of living that I do now. I was “assured” that it would, but no numbers have come up.” — I think you played that well, and there’s nothing else you can do until they put a number on the table.
I don’t have any tips on negotiation except to ask for more than you want, but don’t burn a bridge if they haven’t actually made the offer yet. First, it seems like you and your husband should come up with a number, and if the company doesn’t meet or exceed that number, you don’t move. Secondly, it seems like not moving (and staying at your current job) would make your life pretty miserable though. Sorry I don’t have more concrete advice! Good luck!
Former Gov
I agree w/ e_pontellier re paying for your whole family. In my former job, “house-hunting” trips were paid for only for the employee (airfare, hotel, meals, rental car as sppropirate just like a regular business trip). Usually, the employee paid for his/her spouse and did not bring the children.
mamabear
I live in Berkeley and know how expensive it is here. But I don’t think you should be expecting a 70% bump for moving back here. It’s just unrealistic. I’d prepare yourself for the idea of downsizing your lifestyle as a trade-off for being able to live back with friends and family.
There’s nothing wrong with pushing for a pay increase, and I agree it should be substantial. But I wouldn’t make all your plans with 70% in mind.
a lawyer
Agree with mamabear. I do not believe that the company is going to think a 70 percent pay increase is realistic. If this is a good career move, and a move geographically that you want to make, you should be thinking about how much you would be willing to give up to make the move.
TO lawyer
Happy weekend! Need some styling advice… I bought a pair of dark purple skinny jeans (they’re more of a wine/eggplant color, not bright at all) and I’m wondering what colours I can wear on top. I’ve already thought of the neutrals, but what other colours would work?
TIA!
AnonInfinity
I love maroon and dark purple together.
SoCal Gal
Eggplant IS a neutral in my book. Mustard yellow, orange, red…
will and medical power of attorney question
I am not close with my immediate family and have never been married/had children. I am in my early 30s but want to have proper paperwork drawn up in case of emergency, both who will make medical decisions and who will get my belongings/money/dog.
I have a friend who would be willing to take my dog and another who I trust with belongings and money, do I just have to write that down or do I need to do something so it cannot be challenged by money hungry relatives?
More importantly, I have strong wishes related to my medical care which I know relatives would not respect. A decision to “pull the plug” would likely be very difficult on friends, a burden I do not wish for them. Am I able to write something up so that the hospital makes that decision in a way that cannot be challenged/won by my relatives?
I do not have much money at all but I want to be sure that I would not have my wishes and property disregarded by relatives who are my “closest kin” but who do not know or respect me at all.
Maya Culpa
Based on your concerns re: your family, then you should go to a Probate/Estate planning attorney and have a living Will/healthcare power of attorney and a Last Will and Testament executed. I am sorry about your family situation – let that be your incentive to get your affairs in order. I hope you have someone in your life whom you trust to name in these documents to adhere to your every wish.
Re: costs of these services: do you think you qualify for Pro Bono legal services? That is when you apply to your state’s Bar Association to get free legal services, or at a reduced rate. You will have to provide income info.
If you do not think you make too little to qualify for Pro Bono, still consider calling your local or state Bar association and explain your situation p and see what they can do, or who they can refer you to for assistance.
It is very Important to have your wishes in writing in legal form so no one may do the contrary at that inevitable time.
Maya Culpa
Sorry, I meant to say in that last sentence “…if you make too much…”
mamabear
I think you might be surprised at how inexpensive it is to hire someone to draw up your documents – will or living trust, advance healthcare directive, etc.
You will, though, have to name two people to be primary and backup executors of your estate and someone to make the medical decision. I don’t believe it can be just the hospital.
Make sure your executor knows where your documents are or has a copy, and make sure this is someone that would know something happened to you, because it sounds like you do not trust your family, and your family would be the first notified.
I believe you can have a copy of your advance healthcare directive filed at any hospital you’d be likely to be taken to in case of an emergency.
I’m not an attorney so others can probably answer this better. However, I did go through this document process recently and I wanted to be sure I had a complete understanding of how everything would work. There are a couple of people I absolutely, under no circumstances whatsoever, want to be named as my children’s guardian or to have any control over my estate. So I explicitly named a lot of backups, as you should too.
a lawyer
In my state, the Dept of Health has a medical power of attorney form that is similar to a Health Care Directive. I would call the Dept of Health or even your local hospital and ask if they have something similar.
As for a will, do NOT try to do it yourself, or based on an online form. Trust me, I’m a lawyer, and I have seen how messed up this can leave things.
Iris
Two stupid questions:
How do you all keep your shoes on your feet when wearing tights? I swear, I walk right out of every pair of flats and pumps I own when it’s time to start wearing them with tights. I’m fine barefoot, but dreading that time of year when I have to walk around with my toes curled up in an effort to keep my shoes from slipping off. It’s not a size thing because I can’t go any smaller. Just a style and/or friction thing, I guess.
And do any of you struggle with the zipper on your jeans refusing to lay flat? And kind of pulling to the side so you can see the exposed zipper? I can never predict which jeans will do it – sometimes it’s the cheap ones, sometimes it’s the $200 ones. It drives me insane.
e_pontellier
Keeping your stocking feet in pumps: you can get thin heel inserts that are grippy. I haven’t had this particular problem (I have some shoes that I wear with bare feet, other shoes that I wear with tights) so I’m not sure how well it would work.
No advice on the zipper front, sorry.