Weekend Open Thread

Something on your mind? Chat about it here.

Yes, yes: I’ve posted about velvet skinny jeans before this year, but they’re starting to hit the sales racks in a major way. These “black cherry” Paige skinny jeans look awesome, and they’re down to $104 from $208, which means I’m getting a pair today. They’ve got great reviews, and are available in sizes 24-34. Hoxton Velvet Ankle Skinny Jeans

Oooh: Note that Nordstrom and Amazon both have other colors in velvet, as well as coated jeans and regular jeans. If you’re looking for plus sized velvet skinny jeans, check out NordstromTarget and Old Navy.

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Comments

  1. Bad things – Ugh. My visiting family has already made me cry once.

    Good things – I have a secret stash of See’s candies that I bought for myself for Xmas to be sure I get something I like. I broke into it early. It is keeping me going.

    • F9ck that noise. ROAR BACK AT THEM. Or snark at them. Whatever keeps you going.

    • Sloan Sabbith :

      I’m so sorry, that’s so rough. Can you take some time for yourself to “finish some last-minute shopping” and go sit at a coffee shop and read? Last year I told my family I had some “surprise gifts” to get and…sat at Starbucks for an hour and a half.

    • Anonymous :

      Yesss I love See’s. Going to go home and break into my own stash right now.

      • I suppose NOT being married can be an advantage at this time of year. I can’t imageine haveing to be freindly with inlaws that only think that I took their littel boy away from them by wileing him with my sexueal allure! FOOEY on that! I know that Mrs. Sheketovits liked me but was a littel jelous that her Alan had learned to prefer me (and my sexueal wiles) to her matronly charm. DOUBEL FOOEY!

      • Thanks all for the support!

        Fortunately the See’s buttercreams are the best.

      • Yes, I totally LOVE See’s Candie’s! They are the BEST! You have to be carful not to eat to many. Last year, I put on 6 pound’s over the holiday’s, mostly in my tuchus, eateing these candies and honey pecan n’uts. They helped me forget that I did NOT have a husband. But when Dad found out about the 6 pound’s, he said THAT was the reason I did NOT even have a boyfreind. FOOEY! A boyfreind should love me even if I do have a tuchus. And all of this happened b/f we, as women, have learned to stand up for ourselves, and NOT let men dictate the size of our tuchuses. FOOEY!

    • Anonymous :

      My family hasn’t made me cry yet but my father managed to clog the toilet within 12 hours of his arrival. My family is staying in our friends’ apartment while they are out of town, so it isn’t even my damn toilet. And of course, the apartment only has one bathroom.

      • Anonymous :

        Update – toilet crisis is averted by persistent plunging, now they are convinced the heat is not working. I would appreciate if their daily crises happened after 11 am.

    • Drinking tequila, rudely and happily hiding in my office. Cheers to you my dear.

  2. Anonymous :

    Posted at the end of day yesterday. If I’m no longer using a certain medical practice, can I request that they delete some of my information from their systems?

    (It sounds like they’d be required to keep some portion based on applicable law; the office was in VA. They just took an abnormally large amount of personal data and I’m hoping to have some expunged.)

    • Anonymous :

      I don’t see why you couldn’t ask them to delete all personal info not required to be maintained by law. If they took an ‘abnormal’ amount, there may be something that can be deleted. Otherwise, their standard office practices probably will auto-delete on expiry of applicable legal period.

    • Why do you what it deleted? What qualifies for you as abnormal? Depending on that sort of EHR/ record keeping they have it may not be simple.

      • Agreed. Plus, if the “abnormal” personal data is in the form of your medical record, it’s still going to be subject to state law requirements. But what are you so concerned about? This stuff is also held to high confidentiality standards.

        • ETA, unless you want to go through the trouble of having your medical record amended, under HIPAA.

  3. Sloan Sabbith :

    Current status:
    Number of people at the office: 10 (usually 30-40)
    Number of people at the office in jeans and a sweatshirt or some iteration: 10 (I am wearing the softspun knit sweatshirt from Gap, this is magic fabric)
    Number of people in the office who have already complained we don’t want to be here: 4
    Number of types of cookies in the kitchen: 7

    Plan is to GTFO as soon as I finish what I need to get done. Unfortunately, that’s probably still going to be around 5 (PST).

    • It’s 2:30 and my company is still going full-steam ahead. It’s annoying, because everyone is wearing festive sweaters and trying to have FUN! COOKIES! SECRET SANTA! while juggling the standard workload and annoying client phone calls. The result is that the office shifts wildly from happy to p!ssed-off every 15 minutes.

      I’m reminding myself that my children are also at school today (hello September 1st start date!) and probably feeling 1,000 times more restless than I am. If they can hang in their until quitting time, so can I. *sigh*

      • Sloan Sabbith :

        They are probably doing crafts and watching movies and having a holiday party, though.

        Sorry. Not helpful.

    • Clementine :

      I have zero sparkles left to give, but a workload that means I can’t surf the internet and slip out early.

      I’m full on ‘bah, humbug’ right now. Not helped by my mom who rolled into town early and keeps suggesting I go home early ‘because of the roads’ but at the same time she won’t go spring the kid early from daycare to hang out with him ‘because of the roads’.

      Whatever. I’m visualizing sitting at home with a glass of chardonnay watching the fire.

    • I just made myself hot chocolate with a candy-cane stirrer. It’s seriously improved my afternoon of trying to crank through work as fast as possible.
      Unfortunately, a lot of the stuff I was hoping to have done this week before taking next week off (my company gives us the whole week!!), just got pushed to next week by my clients (who dont have the week off) — bah hum bug :(

    • Rainbow Hair :

      Number of people in my wing of the office: 2 (normally 5)
      Number of people in jeans: 1 (MEEEEE! and they’re actually kinda close to the jegging end of the spectrum)
      Number of pizzas up for grabs in the kitchen: 2 — coincidentally that’s the # of slices I ate!
      Number of emails I’ve sent about work: 1
      Number of emails I’ve sent about fun stuff: 7

      I’ve been getting pictures via text of my kid at daycare making a gingerbread house. Word is that she loves it. But JFC I have to deal with her when she comes home all sugared up.

      Just loaned my boss’s kid my markers… hope he doesn’t wonder why I have markers in my purse today (it’s because I’m drawing instead of working!)

  4. I just got off a 2.5+ hour conference call which began at 8 a.m. PST (we had a bathroom break). The senior person on the call just tried to schedule the follow-up call for this Sunday morning (a/k/a Christmas Eve). Nope. Not gonna happen. I hate big law and litigation with the heat of 10,000 hot white suns.

    Shot, Shots, Shots, where are you?!?

    • Shots. Shots. Shots. :

      I am always with you, you carry me in your heart. I think it’s after 2, which means it is tequila time!

      • It’s whiskey time in my office.

        Because it’s almost 3 PM on the Friday before Christmas and I”m still in my office.

      • www . buzzfeed . com / juliapugachevsky / 15-amazing-ways-to-spike-hot-chocolate

  5. Anonymous :

    We are all in at my office. We are not permitted to leave early, not one minute. Wearing jeans as a protest. Jeans are completely banned.

    • I’m at a jeans-only-on-Friday business casual company. For the past couple years we skirted the line with colored jeans mid-week but this fall I slid into dark denim skinny jeans with an attitude of “Oh please. If these were red or turquoise you wouldn’t give a sh!t.”

      Also–if it’s office appropriate on Friday it should still be office complaint on Monday. Nothing changed but the name of the day, people.

      Fist bump. Wear those jeans.

  6. Anonymous :

    I posted earlier this week about waking up with an odd ezcema-like reaction around my eyes that seems to have come out of nowhere. Thanks to everyone who commented, I’m convinced it’s somehow stress related. It doesn’t make sense the products I’m using… anyway, it’s cleared up now thanks to steroids, antihistamine, and aloe vera. Think I should still go to a derm to see what’s going on?

    • I’m the one who recommended fresh aloe, because the same exact thing happened to me a month ago. Personally, I’m going to treat it as a one-off and not worry. If it happens again, I’ll book a derm appointment immediately. The body is weird and sometimes does weird things.
      Also, aloe plants are awesome.

  7. I can do all my Christmas shopping today and tomorrow? Right?

  8. Data recovery lab? :

    I know I am an idiot for not having a backup, but…the hard drive with my kids’ baby videos crashed. My university IT department told me they couldn’t recover that part of the drive, but a data recovery lab *might* be able to. Anyone have a company to recommend? I am not getting my hopes up, honestly, but I have to try.

    • Blonde Lawyer :

      I don’t but look for someplace that does forensics. I’d call some criminal defense firms or your local prosecutors office for recommendations, assuming they outsource that stuff.

      • One of the best in the forensics business is Jim Vaughn at idiscovery solutions in LA. His team has recovered data off of hard drives that legit tech guys wiped to hide their misdeeds. It will be pricey, but the quote will be straightforward, they set realistic expectations, and they deliver.

    • Computer forensics inc., in Minnetonka, MN (Minneapolis). Ask for Mark Lanterman

      It will not be cheap, but if anyone can do it, he can.

  9. Just need to vent for a moment. I and another associate were staffed on a rather large and complex litigation matter (for our office at least) a few weeks ago. There’s co-counsel, extremely important clients, and millions of dollars at stake. During our first strategy meeting, I suggest a completely different strategy/prospective based on my research that turns the plaintiffs case on its head and is a slam dunk for us. Boss is thrilled and says we’re going with it. I’m then left out off all emails to the clients, co-counsel, opposing counsel. I’m not told about a giant meeting with clients and co-counsel where my strategy is introduced. I just feel like I deserve some credit?? Or at least to be “in the room” given I obviously have a lot to contribute!

    • Idk if you are still reading this but that is a terrible situation to be in.
      Ask your boss why you weren’t included and request that you be CC’d on emails etc. I think it makes sense to be forward with this request since you proposed the strategy and were staffed on the case

    • Anonymous :

      Not that unusual depending on your year.

      • I’m transactional, but I agree, would not be unusual to still exclude the junior associate from some client meetings even if they contributed a lot. There are a lot of dynamics at play, and sometimes it’s client driven. (For my deals: some clients have asked that first year associates not be staffed, for example. Some clients are so difficult to work with that I wouldn’t put a junior in front of them. Sometimes I need the junior to really focus on the grunt work EVEN THOUGH they could rock it on the strategy level, because I don’t have another grunt.). Assume the best from your teammates, and believe me, they have definitely noticed that you are a star.

        • Yeah I guess the the thing that bothers me is that the other associate that IS included (while I’m excluded) is more junior than me!

  10. FaceTime with the Inlaws :

    FIL: “Jenny, your living room looks so clean!” (Note: DH is in the room, this is explicitly directed at me)
    Me: “huh?”
    FIL: “so clean! I like how you put away all the kids toys and you can see the floor.”
    Me: “oh. What makes you think I cleaned?”
    FIL: “oh, I guess I’m just from a different time where the women kept the house in order.”

    Yup. And a time when your daughter in law was a working mom bringing in 3x what your husband, who works part time, does. And for the record, the housecleaners cleaned the room. And our children, who are not slobs.

    I know I’m a grouch but man am I glad he’s 3k miles away sometimes.

    • My own mother gets disappointed that my DH has dinner cooked and on the table when i get home from work. She’s often insinuated that I am not fulfilling my role as a wife and i better watch out or he won’t stick around long.
      I just ignore her and revel in the fact that I wasn’t born in her era and have a life outside of the home and a husband who cares enough to make me dinner.

    • yea, yeah he is. good for you op and boo on your fil. he deserves a nice big eye roll

      • Equestrian attorney :

        Ugh my in-laws do this too. I’m an attorney who makes about 4x what my husband does. He cooks and cleans and does a lot around the house because it’s 2017 and he knows I work more than he does and he loves to cook anyway. My MIL berates both me (failing as a woman) and him (not masculine enough – he should be making the big bucks while I am at home, apparently). It drives me crazy and we don’t even have children yet.

  11. Minnie Pearl :

    I have to go to an event with a group of old female friends and I’ve just gone through a really sh*tty breakup with my bf of 3 years. They don’t know about the breakup and I know they will ask about him/what our plans are/etc. I don’t want to bring it up, is it okay to lie and just say he’s away visiting family over the holidays?

    These are some of my oldest friends and I love them, but I don’t see them that often and I don’t want to lie but I just don’t feel like I can talk to them about it (and also I don’t want to kill the vibe with my sadness). I really just don’t want to go at all but it’s a celebratory event where other friends are skyping in from across the globe so it will be taken badly if I don’t make the effort. We’re all in our early 30s and they are all married/engaged and at the stage in life where all they talk about is weddings and babies and house renovations, and around them I just feel like this outcast for being unmarried and more focused on my career than starting a family.

    Bf and I were in the process of buying a house when he just decided he didn’t want to, wouldn’t talk about it with me, and started yelling at me when I tried to discuss the relationship so I ended it and cut him out of my life. I still don’t know why he turned like that but I’m at the point where I’m glad he’s out of my life though it still sucks to be alone around the holidays. None of them have ever gone through a breakup like this, all of them are still with the first guy they seriously dated. I do have other friends I can cry and drink wine with, just not these women.

    • Just tell them, quick to the point and say, but I do NOT want to say another word about ___ for the rest of the night and move on! It’s easier than lying all night, IMO…

    • Big hugs to you.

      I bet these friends care about you and will respect your wishes to talk or not about the breakup. And what better time to hang out with your friends who love you?

    • I was in a similar situation a few years ago (different facts, but new bad life news, seeing a group of old friends that I love but rarely saw) and ended up just emailing them all beforehand to gently let them know and then tell them I didn’t want to talk about it when we saw them. It was so great – they respected my wishes, gave me so much love and support and hung in there with me for the follow-up over the next year. I can’t promise the same results, of course, but just take the leap and tell them so you can get love you need during this time if they’re able to offer it.

    • Agreed that you should just tell them when up front and say you do not want to talk about it the rest of the night and would rather have a good time and keep your mind off of it. It sounds like they are good friends so I doubt they wouldn’t respect your boundaries there. I think would gnaw at me if I lied to friends I don’t see much when we got together about something big like this. I also think my friends would be really, really hurt when they found out I lied.

    • As someone who is newly single, I suggest a group text. Just tell them all what happened, answer any questions and then let them all know you really need time to enjoy yourself when you go out with them rather than rehash your break up.

  12. Anonymous :

    Agree to tell them ahead of time. I went through something like this but just a smaller group. I asked friend 1 to tell friend 2 what happened and that I don’t walk to talk about it. It took the pressure and anxiety off me.

  13. Anonymous :

    Guys, I just got a br**st (the filters here are so weird…) augmentation yesterday. Can’t believe I went through with it. I’ve always been a pear, wanted to be an hourglass, and my commission this quarter covered everything. I’m still in a lot of pain, but I have a whole holiday week to convalesce and watch cheesy Christmas movies.

    • Opposite! :

      Hey hey now, congrats! I just got a reduction and doesn’t it deep great to look in the mirror and see what you always wanted/expected to see? Best wishes on your recovery and take it easy! I’m 9 days in and my best Christmas present will be getting my stitches out.

  14. Super Anon :

    I’m late 20s and have recently started having really heavy periods with lots of “material” in them. Should i be concerned? I’m not TTC nor having *fun* so I’m assuming it’s not an STD nor a miscarriage.

    By really heavy, I mean going through 3+ “super” pads a day. Tampons are impossible, I’m relegated to the old lady extra long maxi pads and still bleed through them.

    Help!

    • Anonymous :

      Sounds worthy of visiting a doctor to me!

    • Give you our OB a call. Could be normal but anytime there’s a change with no discernible cause, you should call.

    • Bleeding through a tampon/pad in an hour is where they usually draw the line of concern. 3 seems normal, but still worth mentioning. You could have fibroids or something. Your hormones do change with age and body fat, which can affect your flow

  15. My company failed to pay all of the employees that I’m responsible for. They were supposed to get direct deposit on Thursday. Now people aren’t getting manual checks until Tuesday. Merry Christmas from the giant company with a huge HR department. I’m sure they will do absolutely nothing to make this OK. I feel like such a POS, even though I had nothing to do with it and no control over whatever mystery happened in payroll that caused this.

    • Mineallmine :

      That stinks. What happened – a computer glitch or human mistake, or was this a deliberate delay in payment? It would make me question the company. If it can’t be trusted to pay people, then it can’t be trusted.

      • Yeah, if it was deliberate than start looking!! A company that can’t make payroll is not one that will be around for long.

  16. I appreciate all those who make room for others in their homes and hearts this holiday season.

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