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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Abilene Mixed-Media Midi Dress

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A woman wearing an army green midi dress with black pointed heels

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

A lot of olive green items are catching my eye this season, but this mixed-media dress from Simkhai might be the best one yet. The silhouette is extremely traditional-looking, but the faux leather skirt adds a little something special.

I’m always a little nervous about faux leather items being noisy after hearing a coworker squeak down the hallway in leather pants 20+ years ago, but I’m hoping the flowy skirt lends itself to being a little bit quieter. 

The dress is $765 at Saks Fifth Avenue and comes in sizes XS-XL. 

Sales of note for 11/11:

  • Nordstrom – Extra 30% off clearance + tons of early Black Friday deals! Kat did a mini sales roundup here.
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off + extra 11% everything
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything! + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 22% off all full-price styles with code (for Boden, this is a big sale!)
  • J.Crew – All outerwear on sale + 50% off women's boots + extra 50% off all sale styles
  • J.Crew Factory – 40-70% off everything, and extra 70% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – The November drop: 15 new styles + colors! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Nordstrom Rack – Clear the Rack! Extra 25% off clearance + up to 70% off wear-now styles
  • Soma – All bras $30, and 5 panties for $39! Also take 25% off sleep and apparel — readers love Cool Nights PJs and these no-VPL panties
  • Strathberry – 20% off sitewide for a limited time
  • Talbots – 40% off entire purchase + free shipping

282 Comments

  1. Lost some weight and need some new pants for work. What are your favorites? Under size 14 for the first time in years.

    1. I’ve gained up to where you are and like Madewell and Banana and JCFactory (regular JC has been too straight for me). Athleta Brooklyns for athleisure / plane travel days.

    2. Gap’s 365 trouser is a staple for me! I’d love if they did a non-pleated version but the pleated version is my everyday trouser as it is.

    4. Congrats! Liverpool LA from Nordstrom was my favorite brand when I was around a 10-12.

    5. If you’re still losing and don’t want to spend a ton of money on a potentially interim size, Old Navy Taylor wide-leg trousers are shockingly decent for the price.

    6. JCF, loft, and Talbots have always been my go-tos for work pants as a person with curves. I don’t find any Athleta pants other than the linen ones nice enough for work. I also wear Good American jeans if you can wear jeans to work.

  2. People who own hot tubs- do you shower both before and after getting in? We were advised to shower before so it stays cleaner, and then of course after to get the chlorine off, but as someone who doesn’t like getting wet and drying off over and over again, that seems like a bit much. Also interested in how often you actually use it.

    1. Aren’t hot tubs usually outside and unless you are at the beach, showers are inside and upstairs often? My friend had one and paid for it to be removed. We know DINKs who had and used one in their deck but had to upgrade the electrical system in their 1950s house to add a circuit for it.

    2. I’ve never met someone who showers before getting in a hot tub. Turning it into a multi step process is the best way to ensure you rarely use it.

      Ask someone in your area how much it costs to heat their hot tub during winter. I know people who don’t use theirs from December to March because it’s so expensive.

    3. If showering afterward is a personal comfort consideration, and only the pre-shower is for the good of the hot tub, I’d sooner experiment with skipping the post shower.

      1. As for the pre-shower, I’d just assess. I put my hair up because I don’t want to get it wet. I despise lotions, so unless I used a lot of sunblock or bug spray, I don’t personally have much to remove from my skin from the neck down.

    5. You will literally never use it if you do this. It’s rare enough as it is, we had ours taken out.

    6. We use them daily on ski trips and love it then, but would never have the time to enjoy it the same way in “real life.”

    8. I shower before going into the pool or hot tub – it’s basic sense to keep the shared space clean of hair and body products and sweat. Buuut I also only use hot tubs at places where there’s an outdoor shower so I don’t know that I’d be so fastidious if I had to go in and outside to do that.

    9. I have a hot tub that I use regularly. If people are in it while wearing moisturizer and sunscreen, or if they’re really sweaty (like after exercise), it’s bad for the tub filters because oils can’t be completely removed even with cleaning, so you have to replace the filters more often.

    10. Shower before to get rid of sunscreen, lotion, etc. It’s really gross to contemplate getting into lotion soup. Also shower after to get rid of the chlorine.

    11. I think that most people who shower before getting in a pool or hot tub have a shower close by so that it doesn’t involve drying off in between. Just rinse off in the shower, then jump straight into the pool or hot tub while you’re still wet. This obviously isn’t practical if you don’t have a bathroom with a door directly to the backyard or a shower outside.

    12. Shower before and after. My hot tub is at my ski house, so we are usually sweaty/sunscreeny before. Hot tubs have a tons of chlorine relative to pools, so yes, I definitely shower afterward with soap, because I have sensitive skin and you don’t want that chlorine drying you up.

  3. I knew diamond stones weren’t worth a lot resale. I’ve learned ruby stones are also worth similarly, and even pearl necklaces. I guess I’m not sure if the low price on pearl necklaces is due to trends or is it like that all the time? And of course fancy China and crystal and dining room furniture isn’t worth anything resale, either.

    What indicates wealth? Is there anything worth it to re-sell? Do you buy secondhand jewelry and if so, how do you trust the quality, and does the quality even matter?

    1. I buy secondhand jewelery from a trusted local jeweler who does both new and estate. We’ve gone there for ages and you’re exactly right – it’s much cheaper to buy estate and better for the planet. I’ve bought higher quality pearls there vs. new from Tiffany or Mikimoto. Diamonds/rubies hold more value vs. white pearls but south sea pearls are more expensive.
      Name brand (Cartier, Mikimoto, Tiffany. Rolex) hold onto more of their value and can appreciate especially if it’s a rare piece. Honestly though I buy what I enjoy, what I plan to wear, and don’t think too much about the appreciation.

    2. Real estate and stock are investments. Jewelry is fun to have a wear. Nice china looks good on a table. Don’t confuse the latter with the former. When you’ve made enough money, you may want nice things but you’re not buying them for the resale.

    3. There’s a reason that lots of people have pearls from grandma, but not substantial amounts of gold. When times get tough, gold is the first to go, and pearls can’t be sold, so they get kept.

    4. The only thing that might hold value
      are the metals: platinum, gold and sterling silver. And you can readily melt them down and make something new with them. Pearls get damaged as do more fragile stones. And of course people are making better quality alternatives to mined stones.

    5. I’d love to know what OP meant by “what indicates wealth?” – that seems like a different question than the others.

      I’ve said this here before, but the last time I bought a few pieces of my mom’s silver pattern, the jeweler sold it to me at the day’s silver price – thus totally excluding any value the pattern itself might have had for artistry or the like. Just the melt-down-and-sell price.

    6. Pearls I know about. They don’t have a lot of resale value unless they’re a high end brand like Mikimoto, or are unusual pearls like a conch or abalone pearl. Certain natural pearls (not cultured) can go for a lot. But you have to know the provenance.

      Your best bet is to unstring your pearls and have them restyled into something you’d wear. If a dainty 18″ strand is not for you, consider combining it with metal (like gold or silver wire wrapping) or other stones. You can find lots of inspo online – my favorite haunt is the kojima pearl website!

  4. This blog showed leather skirt last week for the office. I will forever associate leather clothing at work with My Cousin Vinny and I can’t imagine a workplace with a dress code where it’s ok. Would anyone weather leather or vegan leather to the office?!

    1. In a conservative cut like this, yes absolutely! I work in financial planning, so we’re business-casual unless meeting with clients. This would be perfectly fine for a non-client meeting day.

    2. Yes, leather skirts (not form fitting) have been office friendly for a long time now. I remember buying one at Ann Taylor like 20 years ago.

      2. Yeah I’m curious about where op lives, works, and shops that Ann Taylor is unimaginable.

        1. I live in a suburb. My office is very male and I’m personally pretty conservative in what I wear. I usually don’t think that what is shown on runways or mall catalogs or ads is 100% what people wear IRL. I’m so glad I asked so I could learn on this so-friendly fashion blog place. Thank you!

    3. I have. Mainly a pencil skirt in actual leather that is lined but recently a pleated faux one. The rest of each outfit is pretty basic for office attire.

      1. Likewise. In a classic cut (pencil, A-line, etc.) and with otherwise professional styling I’ve worn leather skirts to the office in a variety of business casual settings. The key is that the leather looks nice (not too plastic-like) and is paired with a classic top (button down, sweater, blazer).

        If black leather feels too much, brown or a rich jewel tone (burgundy, deep teal, etc.) may also help you imagine office styling.

    4. I wear an A-line, midi-length black leather skirt to work with conservative blouses, sweaters, and jackets.

    5. I have a pair of vegan leather pants, they are camel colored and look like dress pants (from alice and olivia a few years ago, although I just googled and they’re still available). I have worn them a few times, but not often because they aren’t that comfortable. my desk chair is made of leather, so they kind of stick? It’s not a violation of our dress code, and these particular pants can be made bus cas, but I just never reach for them because they are A LOT in several ways.

      1. I don’t think they’re inappropriate, but it feels like you’re trying way too hard, so I avoid the look.

          2. Which is not a thing I need or want to reflect at my workplace. Again, trying too hard.

        2. It’s giving Day-to-Night Barbie, which, to be fair, was my favorite Barbie when I was a kid.

          I think that leather can be a totally acceptable work fabric in the right cuts, colors, styles. Super tight leather pants? No. Straight-laced knee-length leather skirt? Fine. And it helps if you style it with more conservative other pieces.

          Source: I work at a pretty conservative law firm.

    7. I’m sitting at my deck wearing an A-line midi leather skirt and turtleneck. I’ve gotten compliments on this outfit before.

    8. I don’t. As someone whose assets attract a lot of attention, adding leather to the mix just makes the problem worse.

      1. I am the flip of this. It’s the privilege of the flat-chested, that nothing I wear would ever be remotely racy, even a leather skirt.

    9. In the mid-2010s I had 2 “leather” skirts from Ann Taylor that I wore to work at the big 4 regularly. I was unsure at first but then realized many other women were wearing the same exact skirts!

    10. I still remember the first time I wore a leather skirt to work, feeling very transgressive and daring. In, like, 1997.

    12. Yes, routinely in the fall. I have worn a leather pencil skirt and a sweater. I might even do a wider cut leather pant if I owned them. If it’s not too tight, I don’t think it would be a problem in most offices.

    14. I have a black leather Prada pencil skirt that I bought on sale in 2002 after seeing a picture of Jennifer Aniston looking oh so cool in one with beautiful black leather boots and a turtleneck. Keep hoping I can someday fit back into it.

  5. There were dresses like this at AT this fall that I wish I’d seen because they are now mostly sold out.

  6. We’re living in our cabin temporarily, and there’s no cable or internet. What DVD tv series should we watch next? We’ve enjoyed NCIS, the original Quantum Leap, MASH, Coach, Friends, Will & Grace, and Big Bang Theory.

    4. Schitt’s Creek
      The Americans
      The Diplomat if you can get the previous seasons on DVD

      And if like me, you love a police dog show:
      Due South for vintage vibes or Hudson and Rex

    7. The West Wing!! The box set that came out last year has tons of special features and commentary on certain episodes.

    8. Can you download streaming shows when you’re online and then watch offline? Just got into the Four Seasons (Tina Fey, Netflix) and loving it.

      1. I just finished Good Wife and enjoyed it although the legal dramas started to feel repetitive and I often skipped those scenes as the seasons went on. There is a sequel called Good Fight, I think, that I haven’t tried.

        DH and I like some of the shows OP listed. We liked Brooklyn 99 for a very light watch. DH and his friends like The Office. We watched That 70s Show many years ago, but I’m not sure that I could now.

      2. I loved this but The Good Fight spinoff starring Christine Baranski is even better. I love how it starts to get surreal in the season Trump gets elected.

        1. Christine Baranski is also the neighbor in Cybill, which I loved (mainly for her). It’s like how Karen and Jack were the best part of Will & Grace.

      1. And if you like Patricia Routledge in that, try Hetty Wainthropp Investigates. One of the few mystery of the week shows that doesn’t always involve a murder!

    14. JAG. DH and I just did that series last spring, loved it, and were surprised to find out that NCIS spun off of JAG.

      And always Law and Order forever.

    17. Party Down. Stars Jane Lynch, Adam Scott, so many other recognizable actors. And hilarious.

    19. I’m watching Band of Brothers (the 2001-ish HBO series) and I love it. Great war story (you know how it ends) and if you are even vaguely into guys, it is full of incredibly attractive men.

  7. I need 2” heels (block is OK) for all of my suiting pants. Can’t run too narrow due to new foot problems. What is the best if you are willing to spend? I am on my feet and walking a lot (but not in my current heels, which are like the ones in the picture from a variety of mall brands).

      1. How do they run? I’ve seen a few in the wild but never read a review that didn’t seem to be from a paid influencer.

        1. I have a pair. I’d say they run a bit small, I sized up a half size. It took a bit to get used to the arch support in the shoe – it’s kind of intense. But once I broke them in, I wear them regularly.

        2. I have a few pair. I tend to have wide feet and I agree with the recommendation to go up half a size if you’re the same. They are really well made though, especially for the price.

        3. My best friend won’t stop talking about how much she loves them, so you can take that as a non-influencer anedote :)

    3. Mid price, I like Cole Haan and Kate Spade. Tory Burch and Stuart Weitzman for a bit pricier picks.

    5. Stuart Whitman, Aquatalia, Andre Assous, AGL

      Budget picks: Vince Camaro, Pella Moda

  8. WWYD if a family member showed up to your house sick for an overnight weekend visit? MIL is normally very sweet and considerate so this through us for a loop. During a phone call the previous weekend (Oct 11) she said she started feeling sick with a cold. We said hope you feel better soon, let us know if you plan to come or not as it gets closer. No big deal to reschedule if you’re still sick. Anyways, she arrives on Friday (Oct 17) coughing up a storm. She lives 3.5 hours away so obviously we weren’t going to tell her to go home but husband and I were both surprised she still came. It was awkward. I made her tea and offered cough drops frequently. We are now cleaning the house vigorously and doing all the immune boosting teas, etc and praying she wasn’t contagious on day 7 of symptoms.

    1. My coughs last about 3 weeks after I’ve recovered from a cold. I don’t stop my life for them.

    3. I personally am less conservative about germ exposure than you sound, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal (and ime cough often lingers well past cold contagiousness) but to me, her initial call sounds like her scoping out whether *you* all are comfortable with her coming. That was the time for you (or your husband) to say “we’re being careful; if you’re not feeling 100% let’s reschedule!”

      1. Agree with this. We’re not longer very Covid cautious but we were for years and my parents still are. The time to tell her not to come was when she called you and said she was getting sick.

    4. My FiL did this at thanksgiving a few years ago. He absolutely refused to go to a hotel, even with us offering to pay, so we tried to quarantine him in his room which didn’t work and he ended up throwing up in our living room (ew). He’s no longer invited to stay at our house. Not so much because of the illness itself. but because he wouldn’t move to a hotel when we requested it. I won’t host guests who won’t leave when we tell them they have to.

      Coughing is a harder call imo. A post-viral cough can linger for weeks (months, even, in my elderly mom) and you aren’t normally contagious on day 6 of a cold. That said, if you wanted her to not come or stay in a hotel, I think she should have respected your wishes.

    5. Idk, coughs seem to linger long after an illness. I wouldn’t be too worried days after the onset of symptoms. I would tough it out and increase handwashing.

    6. If the lingering cough was her only remaining symptom, I would not have personally been bothered by this.

    7. If she’s close enough to have some insurance coverage, could you (plural, obviously it should be her son) go with her to urgent care? She’d have a much better time with a treatment regimen!

        1. Yeah, and this seems so infantilizing. “Come, dear, let’s get you to urgent care since you clearly don’t know how to take care of yourself”.

        2. Completely. Many of us have colds and lingering coughs after. That’s just how they go.

      3. There’s not really a treatment regimen for a post-viral cough except time and home remedies like hot tea and cough drops. You might be able to get tessalon perles but in my experience doctors are kind of reluctant to prescribe them and they don’t work that well.

    8. Unless someone in your house is immunocompromised, I see no issue with this and I think you’re overreacting by offering a hotel

      1. I agree with this. Unless there’s something else (immunocompromised, etc.) then just be kind and care for the sick person in your home.

    10. This really depends on what the other person has. The general rule of thumb is be fever free without something like Tylenol for 24 hours or more than 24 hours on antibiotics. I don’t like being sick and wouldn’t want a sick person to just show up without advance notice. Especially if it’s a visit that can just be rescheduled.

    11. Sick people should stay home. But I feel strongly about that precisely because I’m one of those people who gets post viral coughs that last weeks to months. There were years of my life where I had a cough pretty much non-stop. I stayed home when I was actually sick, but it’s obviously not reasonable to do that for weeks on end.

    12. Colds happen it wouldn’t occur to me to cancel or that anyone else should over a cold.

    13. Coughing up a storm seems different from a lingering cough. Is she okay?

      Cleaning is never really wrong, but it’s 2025 and we now know that most of these kinds of infections are airborne.

      1. Eh, I disagree. Coughing up a storm can still be akin to a lingering cough after a cold.

      2. Anecdotally a violent cough after an upper respiratory infection isn’t uncommon, especially in older folks. My mom is in her 70s and overall in really good health, but takes forever to kick the cough after any kind of infection, even a cold – and it can be violent. She’s broken a rib from coughing when the initial infection was just a mild cold.

        1. I’m 47 and just broke a rib while coughing. And I’m not a delicate flower – I’m a sturdy lady! My doctor said that the current virus going around takes something like 6 weeks to clear.

        2. Yup. My late 70s mother seems to be coughing most of the year now, and she has seen her doctor about it more than once.

  9. I need a sanity check from impartial strangers. DH and I are first time home buyers. My parents live in the area we’re targeting and offered to “check out” the neighborhood of any houses we’re interested in. I told them that isn’t helpful because we’ll still want to see the house ourselves.

    The other day I was talking to my parents about a house we like in the context of renovation potential. I sent them the listing so they could see photos. Apparently one of my parents decided to scope it out themselves and informed me afterward. The owners weren’t home. Parent walked around the side of the house, spoke at length with a neighbor about the property and owners, and somehow got a piece of mail with the owners’ names on it and took a photo the envelope.

    If the neighbor was willing to have a conversation and share details then fine I guess. I’m uncomfortable that Parent poked around the sides of the house when it wasn’t a scheduled tour. But I’m absolutely livid about the mail photo. I think it’s invasive and a wild violation of boundaries. And I never asked Parent to do any of this! Parent is insisting that I’m being dramatic, they were helping me out, and this is how house hunting works. Am I overreacting or is this inappropriate?

    1. It’s out of line. Just tell parent you can look up the current owners if you need to and need to run all of that through each party’s agent. Also tell them you don’t want to jinx yourselves as buyers by being notably aggressive or following non-market practices in a competitive market.

      1. +1. Stop sending them listing. They’ve just downgraded themselves to ‘need to know’ status about your house hunt.

        1. +1. I would stop sharing basically any specific details of your house hunting. I’d be super annoyed too. I’d talk generally about the houses but now they don’t get to know addresses or details until you are under contract. I wouldn’t make a big thing about it, I’d just keep forgetting to share the info. If you want to show them pictures when discussing ideas, screenshots, no links.

        2. Absolutely this. They just got themselves invited to the housewarming. They should know nothing until then.

      1. Yup. Parent should now be on a starvation-level information diet. My own parents made a practice of poking around construction sites of new build houses in their neighborhood, usually at the stage where the house is framed out but there’s no front door and not a lot of walls. They stopped when someone’s doorbell camera caught them doing it, and that neighbor told the family who was constructing the house, and a stern letter from a lawyer showed up in their mailbox. Boomers are nosy as F.

    3. It’s weird, but I’d be grateful for the information. Neighbors can make or break your experience.

      1. What you need is the sort of friend who is the Community Mouth who already lives there. These people don’t need new stalkers.

    4. Tell your parents they’re going to tick off the buyers and cause you to lose out if there are multiple offers. There’s also no need for a photo of the mail to figure out who owns a house, which is public information. They’re being creepy and weird. I would avoid sharing any info with them in the future.

      1. Not necessarily. My house is in an anonymous trust and not publicly available information.

        1. You would be shocked at what’s publicly available. One of my go-tos is voting registration: public, lists name, age, address, voting frequency, party registration (if any).

          1. Trust me that I’m concerned enough to have checked everything officially. It can be done if you know what to do.

          2. Trust me that I don’t believe you. Most states don’t allow that. Mortgage documents are usually also public record.

    6. This could blow up a process for you. Do not send them any more information. They clearly cannot respect your requests and boundaries.

    7. OP here. I blew up at Parent about this and made it clear that we’re not sharing any info going forward until we’ve already closed on a house. Other Parent thinks the reconnaissance mission was insane. This is disappointing and I’m worried it will come back to bite us but I’m glad to know my reaction was reasonable.

      1. For what it’s worth, I think your parent was nuts! But I also think it’s *unlikely* to come back to bite you; like if someone came snooping around my neighbor’s house for sale, and explained their child was thinking of buying it – I would roll my eyes internally a little & think “welp, they’re overstepping but probably they’re just proud and excited that their kid can buy a house! Put this on your list of things to remember *not* to do when I’m that age!”. I wouldn’t call the realtor or tell the owners you all are a problem or anything remotely like that! As a practical matter, I would also have promptly forgotten your name and your parents’ name.

        Good luck with the house!

      2. Entirely reasonable reaction, and this is entirely something my parents would do (down to one thinking it was insane) so you are not alone.

    8. We ended up with multiple offers when we sold our last house, and one of the offers was from buyers whose parents had done stuff like this… and it was a large part of why we went with another couple’s offer.

      **For some additional context– the parent was acting as the agent and kept making weird requests of us that made us think inspection/closing would be an ordeal.

    9. “ somehow got a piece of mail with the owners’ names on it” depending on how that happened, could be mail tampering and is a federal offense.

    10. Snooping through someone else’s mail is unhinged behavior. I didn’t look up who the owners were of any house I visited. Why would that even matter to me? I could see talking to neighbors about the neighborhood if it became a serious contender, but I wouldn’t ask about the owners.

    11. I don’t know if it’s that weird – I live in a real estate market that’s been so crazy for so long that people do poke around houses and chat with neighbors without tours. When I rented in a condo building, the unit above me was for sale and we had several people come by when I was home and ask to look at our apartment because “it’s the same floor plan.” It wasn’t actually, but that’s how motivated people were to purchase something. The mail thing is odd, but I can imagine someone got a misdelivered piece of junk mail and showed it to your parents.

      That said, you ought to think a bit of how your parents will act when they are really close. My parents and sibling live on the same street and they (well, my sister) had to set up ground rules so my mom (bless her) wasn’t traipsing in and out of both houses unannounced all day long.

  10. I dunno about this color but in black this dress is gorgeous.

    Help me improve at public speaking. I’ve take a few classes through work and gotten a lot better, but then I see the execs do it and it’s like they’re playing a different game entirely. It’s not the words I struggle with or nerves, it’s the performance of it all (volume/gestures/facial expressions). Are they getting some kind of special coaching and if so how do I find it?

    1. i was at a conference last week and one of the presenters talked about toastmasters. It appears to be mostly a volunteer organization to help people get better at presentations/ public speaking. maybe give it a look? i

        1. I wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss Toastmasters. The execs weren’t born as F100 executives, it’s not like they couldn’t have used it to begin. I’m pretty comfortable with public speaking and a lot of it comes down to lots practice talking in front of groups of people. My understanding of Toastmasters is that it’s a dedicated time/place where you get to practice public speaking often and you getting feedback.

          But by all means try out a special coach for it if you want to skip that. But I guarantee that they’re going to tell you to practice, practice, practice and then give you feedback on it.

        2. I would not be so quick to jump to that conclusion. Anyway, the way to get better at it is to do it a whole lot.

          1. This. I am good at public speaking because I have been doing it regularly for decades. I have never been coached. The value of toastmasters is that it gives you a place to practice.

        3. I worked for a F50 company, and they had a Toastmasters club for employees at their corporate HQ. So, I think you are off base dismissing it.

    2. Practice! They do it all the time. Search out opportunities to present to an audience. If you’re religious, scripture readings at church, community theater, offer to present at meetings, etc. You got this!

      1. I’m think I am looking for something more sophisticated. I’ve done several basic public speaking courses already.

        1. If you’ve taken several classes already and you still aren’t good, then what you need is practice. There isn’t some secret magical formula you only learn in extra special CEO class.

        2. What the CEOs have is dynamism. You can’t teach that – that’s part of who they are and how they ended up a CEO. For us mere mortals who don’t eat competitors for breakfast at 4 am or whatever those nonsense leadership books talk about, you have to just decide that you’re going to do something that feels insanely foolish – talking like a coach giving a pep talk – and do it.

          For example, I have a voice I use for reading the verses from the lectern at church, and everyone loves that voice, but heck no it’s not my usual speaking voice; I’m channeling the eloquent reading voice of an old theater teacher. I’m acting when I get up there. Because how else do you make Habukkuk sound good?

          So try out acting like a CEO in front of your bedroom mirror. Try out that level of enthusiasm and modulation and hand gestures. Eventually you’ll become comfortable with it…or you won’t and you continue to give polite speeches, and that’s ok because that’s who you are.

    4. Whatever you do, don’t start off telling the audience how bad you are at public speaking. I see this all the time, and it baffles me, and it is always a self-fulfilling prophecy. Have these speakers never heard “fake it ’til you make it”? There’s a reason that is a cliche.

      1. God, yes. Nothing is more cringe than starting off with “teehee, bear with me here, just stop me if I’m not making sense!”

    5. Yes, the exec almost certainly have had multiple rounds of PR/Comms/Executive presence training. Practice makes perfect though, so toastmasters is a great way to get better. The biggest thing I would advise is to avoid filler words (uhm, ah, you know, like, etc.) and get comfortable speaking a bit slower and with more animation than normal.

    6. yes, this is all technique and skill that is very much learnable. I haven’t done toastmasters, but I know people who really recommend it, although some of them are only passable speakers. Also groups seem to have a range of focus topics, so what you get out of it probably depends on the local chapter.
      There are coaches for voice, body language and presentation out there. One who coaches in English that I think does a good job is Jean Luc Dumont. I think he’s based in Belgium? He focuses on academic/technical presentation, including oration and body language.
      I also had a useful workshop on body language ages ago but that was in German. There are lots of coaches out there, some are obviously more useful than others, but this skill can be taught and practiced for sure.

    7. It’s definitely coached, there’s lots of public speaking coaches who specialize in this. Will your company pay for training? If this is going to be a bigger part of your job going forward, I recommend asking around to see if there’s already someone that your company can recommend or schedule for you.

      If you search for “presentation coach”, “public speaking training”, etc., you’ll find lots of individuals and agencies who offer this service. There’s a whole spectrum of price points and focus areas (ie: crafting the talk vs. stage presence).

    8. I have to moderate panels and present webinars in my role. By far, the most helpful thing to me is having my sessions videoed. Having some time and space afterward has helped me realize I’m better than I realized and also tipped me off to where I can improve. My best advice is to think about it like any other business meeting. Pretend you are sitting around a table and making your points. Other things I’ve found helpful: Ask for a lav mic versus a hand mic if you have options–it makes it easier to talk with your hands without thinking about it too much. If I have important points and am not sure if I’ll have a teleprompter, I break them down so that I can look over and reference my slide versus looking down. Be human but prepared. Some of the jokes or asides I make probably seem off the cuff–they aren’t. I’ve planned ahead of time what I will say if I’m not getting results fast enough to in-room polling, if the point I’m making might be controversial, etc. Don’t be afraid to step out behind the podium. If walking feels too unnatural, you can push for fireside chat formats where you have a chair. Practice. practice. practice. Don’t be shy about asking rhetorical questions of the audience every now and then–it keeps them engaged and helps underscore the point you are making.And keep in mind that the more natural and conversational you appear to be, the more willing people are to listen. Treat it like a conversation.

    9. agree that the biggest thing is practice, repetition. I did a exec presence/speaking training as part of a leadership program at work and the most helpful part of it was an exercise where you were recorded giving a 1-2 min speech on whatever topic. Then analyzing body language, etc. If you’re already comfortable with your words, not using fillers, etc. then this is a great way to refine your delivery.

    10. Our office hosts Toastmasters meetings, and folks have found it helpful because you practice and they give feedback on your presentations that includes facial expressions, body language, etc. Th idea is that you learn these skills by the time you need to present at conferences, etc

  11. You all are the best with travel advice and I’d rather hear from your real experiences vs. AI.

    Planning second trip to Greece. Trying to decide on 1-2 islands. Went to Santorini last time and had fun, but not interested in returning. Athens gets a bad rep but we really liked it and will spend another few days there.

    -In our 40s. Want a mature vibe – like, Mykonos is probably last on our list.
    -Want to be within a ~4 hour ferry range of Athens, ideally the slow ferries (Blue Star etc) as way more enjoyable than the hi-speed.
    -Budget is flexible but not YOLO, ideally around $300 per night but would go to $500 for something breathtaking

    Initial research has me looking at the slightly-less-traveled Cyclades (Milos, Sifnos, Antiparos?) or possibly Saronic (Spetses?) but appreciate all advice!

    1. I’ve only been to Santorini and Mykonos but just wanted to affirm you’re right to skip Mykonos. It wasn’t horrible but definitely not the right place for 40 somethings looking for chill vibes. Money also goes less far there than on any island except Santorini I think.

      We really liked Athens too. I don’t know why people are so down on it.

    2. Hydra is small but I enjoyed it – its claim is it has no wheeled vehicles, even bikes. It’s I think less than 2 hours from Athens, and could be a stop on the way to Spetses.

    3. I went to Crete with my parents as a surly teenager so I was mostly surly, but it’s got amazing history and lovely Mediterranean beaches.

      1. I was going to come recommend Crete too, except it’s a longer ferry ride than you were looking for! Because you liked Athens, Crete is one of the islands that has a big enough economy to not be 100% tourism driven – yes, there are resorts that are pretty much just package resorts, but you can also wander through urban-ish parts of bigger cities, good food in non tourist restaurants, stop at small villages if you rent a car

    4. Crete is fantastic and big enough to spend your whole vacation.

      We also loved Naxos, which is quite small but that’s a benefit because they don’t even let cruise ships stop there.

      Also I would just skip the ferries entirely and fly to the islands if possible because they herd you on to those boats like cattle and it’s no fun at all.

      1. We did both for Santorini (ferry one way, flew the other to connect to our flight home) and preferred the ferry! We were also thinking islands that are ferry-only might be less likely crowded with package tours, etc.

        1. I preferred the ferry too :) If you get seasick, definitely fly, because the water can be really rough. But for those with strong stomachs the ferries are fun.

      2. +1 on Naxos! Lovely beaches that were not super busy in September, great food, and an easy bus system to navigate. If we were to go again, I would look at staying at the Naxian on the Beach, Sea Lillies Suites, or Ammothines Cycladic Suites. And I would make sure to get a reservation at Lithos!

        When we were debating which islands to visit, we found that the reviews from “Santorini Dave” were VERY helpful. It was hard to find detailed information about the smaller islands from any of the bigger guide books, and he didn’t steer us wrong!

    5. I went to Paros last year and really enjoyed it. It had a very nice laid-back vibe, and the people were so friendly. We went in shoulder season so it wasn’t super crowded. It’s a big island with lots of variety. We went horseback riding, rented a couple of boats and had the most lovely day out at sea, hiked, explored beaches and towns, had good food and enjoyed Naousa. We went with a group of people all in our late 30s and enjoyed “nightlife” which for us at this point is good food and good c*cktail bars. Naousa felt energetic but not like partying was the main scene.

    6. I lovvvved Naxos this past summer. In comparison to Santorini it felt so much more slow and enjoyable. Food was amazing as it’s the breadbasket/agriculture center of the Greek Islands.

  12. Realistically, what is going to happen with the jewelry stolen from the Louvre this weekend?

    1. I’ve just started watching Lupin on Netflix and saw the news and thought “huh, guess I’m not the only one who started watching this show…! I assume broken down into component parts and sold? Or it’s a commissioned heist from some meglomaniac zillionaire? And they will keep it in a box and admire it.

      1. I hope they keep and admire or sell to someone who will. I immediately thought of Lupin, too. And then of the Mona Lisa heist that was similarly brazen and even crazier because no one even noticed she was gone for days!

      2. I’m not sure that breaking them down would bring enough $$ to justify the heist. Loose diamonds and other gem stones aren’t really that valuable, and these pieces had many small stones which would not fetch much of a price on their own without the provenance adding to the value. And you can’t really advertise “part of the stolen French crown jewels” to jack up the cost of a random .5 carat diamond. Also, these are also old pieces so the ccc may not be good enough to fetch high prices when converted into “random” loose stones.

        I do think the large emeralds have more value, but to get full value as loose stones you would need to go through legitimate sales channels, and after the heist those channels will be on the lookout.

        I highly suspect this is a commissioned heist from someone who will keep and admire the pieces. The pool of people with resources to commission such a heist is not limitless. And whoever was paid to do this will eventually run out of money and, if not re-bribed to stay silent, will become interested in the reward money. These pieces will eventually be found.

    2. Thieves usually melt down the metal. There was a great piece earlier this year, maybe in The Atlantic or New Yorker? About a group of thieves and especially one guy who was kind of klepto but loved stealing high-value sentimental pieces like medals and championship trophies and stuff like that, from lower-tier museums in rural northeast. He’d steal these absolutely historic quality pieces- and just melt it and sell that gold. Horrible to have the sense of price but no sense of what things are worth

    3. My husband and I were talking about this, and we decided the only reason to do such a daring theft is if you had some crazy billionaire client and were doing the heist on commission so they could just keep the jewels in their safe and parade around wearing them in their super-villain-billionaire-hideout. Either that or a ransom kind of deal, but I’d be shocked if the French government would pay a ransom.

      Fun fact: I was at the Louvre one year ago today, and I took photos of the pieces that were stolen. Isn’t that crazy??

    4. I assume that it will be used by organized crime as collateral for different deals, like a lot of stolen art is.

      1. Tell me about the use of stolen art as collateral. I had thought that secured lending was a snoozefest but could pay attention for this. Is there an article / book somewhere? I have a long trip coming up.

          1. Second this. It’s an interesting documentary (it’s about the Elizabeth Stewart Gardner museum heist)

    5. I would presume black market for people who buy stolen treasures. Same reason people rob war torn countries — so people with few ethics can possess things that people refuse to sell them.

    6. I like to think that there’s some distant heir to the French throne behind it.

      1. A previous count of Paris sold the sapphires to the Louvre in the 80s or 90s, for not *that* much money. His grandson (the current head of the family) doesn’t seem like the mastermind type.

        At least we have photos of the grande dame Comtesse de Paris wearing these jewels!

  13. I’ve been very effectively targeted on Insta lately with ads for Beauty Pie under eye concealer. Any other BP products I should try while I make me first order?

  14. In recent years, it’s become even harder for phlebotomists and nurses to find veins on me and it’s becoming an issue – I have to do a monthly infusion of a specialty medication and my arms and hands are completely bruised from multiple failed attempts and one nurse had to give up. I’m hydrating and making sure that I’m warm – is there anything else that I can be doing? No one seems able to give me any better advice than that.

      1. No one has ever said but let’s consider that a very last resort. I’m in my 30s with an active lifestyle and a baby and I don’t want to have a permanent port.

        1. Ports are not permanent. They can be and often are taken out. If properly implanted, a port should not impede your life. I had one port from age 3 to 12, another one from 12 to 20, and then another one from 20 to 28. I exercised, swam, backpacked, climbed mountains, had relations with guys…everything normal. They do wear out, though. The lifespan of a port depends on a variety of factors.

    3. ugh that stinks. one of my arms is better than the other, that was the one i offered when i was getting a lot of blood draws. (pregnancy maybe?)

      off topic, but you couldn’t pay me to donate blood at a non-medical location, though! did that once (library) and blood literally spurted everywhere.

    4. People haven’t typically had significant difficulty finding my veins, but I do recall that when I was pregnant and get poked more often it was always super easy after I had exercised. So if it’s possible to run a lap or lift something heavy beforehand that could help. Extra points if it’s rock climbing – gets those arm veins to pop.

    5. I have “deep” veins that phelbs struggle with–and I have my whole life, but I didn’t realize it with any clarity until I was pregnant and needed to be stuck weekly. I finally started going to the hospital for draws. They have phelbs who are far above what you’ll get elsewhere.

      1. I think what they have are actual phlebotomists (vs. nurses or medical assistants).

      1. This or a port are your answer. So this. Eat something salty (like a BIG meal of Chinese food) the day before so you have a bit more retained fluid. Then drink abundant water.

        1. Yeah, the water and salty food tricks haven’t been working 😭 but I might try lifting weights just before. That’s one I hadn’t done.

    8. For giving blood I pump my arms vigorously and use small weights to short-term increase circulation to make my veins or arteries more prominent. This is anecdotal and I’m not sure if it applies in your circumstances. Have you tried asking in a health-specific forum? I’m sure there are many people in your situation, it sounds really painful, I’m sorry.

    9. If you’re open to long term lifestyle changes, I started lifting weights, and my blood draw was SO much easier than the year before, and the nurse indeed confirmed that lifting weights makes your veins easier to find.

    10. I have shy veins but sometimes the nurses are just…not good at finding veins. Do they use the UV light that shows all your veins? Ask for that. It’s really cool and it helps. I also often do hands (you can see my hand veins) and my top forearm veins if my elbow veins are being annoying. Also, I’m not ashamed of the bruising. It is what it is.

      I also try to hydrate a TON an hour before the appointment. I know you said you were doing that, but…do it more. It helps for me!

    11. I don’t have any tips, but no nurse should be permitted multiple failed attempts. Our local children’s hospital has an official policy that a nurse gets 2 tries, and then she has to call someone else in. The nurses all know who is good with tough sticks, and they should start you with their best right off if you have a history. One of my kids was a tough stick, and they told us to always tell them that in advance so they could start off with the best available for her. (If your office has a former children’s nurse, she is probably better, but I’ve always found that the nurses know who can find your vein.) IV insertions are so uncomfortable. I hope the medical staff can do a better job for you going forward.

      1. The nurse told me the policy is two sticks but she would be willing to try three if it was OK with me. The nurses come to my home for the infusions so there wasn’t an option to switch to anybody else in the moment. They had to send a substitute on another day and she struggled as well but eventually got it – a former ICU nurse with decades of experience. Ugh.

        1. Is there an option to go to an office for the infusions? I doubt they are getting the best candidates with a driving job, and each one would do significantly less IVs a day than someone in an office during it all the time.

    12. I specifically ask that they use the child needles. It is smaller and typically makes it easier to stick me. My veins roll so it’s not a hydration issue. Also, don’t let them miss multiple times. If the nurse isn’t experienced enough, ask them to find someone else.

      1. Yes perhaps try infant needles if they will work, and on the back of your hand if that’s feasible for why you are being stuck. Sticking me in the arms successfully appears to have about a 30% success rate. When I just don’t feel like chancing unsuccessful stabs, I ask for a baby needle used on top of my hand. It’s a little bit uncomfortable but there are days that the trade off is worth it to me.

    13. I have deep veins that roll and also have experience drawing blood so I understand your frustration and the phlebotomist’s frustration. Before they even attempt, I request that they use a butterfly needle. Drinking lots of water does help too. Thankfully, the infusion clinic I use has access to a UV finder and ultrasound so if they don’t get it on the first try, I insist that they use one of those. If I’m at a provider that doesn’t have an ultrasound, I give them two tries before they need to get someone more experienced. I take blood thinners so the bruising can look pretty horrific a couple days later if I allow them to dig, not to mention that it can get uncomfortable.

    14. Is this something you have to take indefinitely?

      I had a family member that was taking IV immunoglobulin monthly. There was a subcutaneous infusion version of immunoglobulin that they were able to switch to and tolerated well. No more sticks into veins.

      Unfortunately not all medicines have other options like this.

  15. What was the best sign you saw at the protests this weekend? I did the “So Bad Even Introverts Are Here” one but saw some fun ones like “So Tired of Mediocre White Men” and “I Knew It’d Be Bad but Holy Sh!t”

    1. There was a woman in my town with a really elaborate butterly costume and a sign covered in butterflies that said “These are the only monarchs we want in this country.”

    3. I didn’t see it in person but on the Broadway subr*ddit… “No kings except Jonathan Groff.”

    4. I wasn’t there, but I saw it on Threads – it was the little Richard Scarry worm driving his little apple car, and it said, “My other car is RFK Jr’s brain” :D

  16. Several weeks ago I asked what to do with an extra day in Phoenix. Big thank you to whoever encouraged a day trip to Sedona. I drove up last night and watched the sun rise from Bell Rock this morning. totally worth it! Heading off for one more hike before I drive back to Phoenix.

    I’m going to try to fit in some of the Phoenix museum suggestions during conference week. thanks everyone!

  17. Can anyone speak to trying HRT and seeing an improvement in symptoms? I have an appointment with my ob gyn in a few weeks to discuss all the peri issues: lack of sleep, weight gain, mood swings, intense cravings, fatigue, joint issues, the works. I feel like I’ve aged ten years in a year. And I just don’t feel like myself. I still exercise and eat healthy and practice good sleep hygiene, but it doesn’t work like it used to. I’m at my wit’s end and so tired of feeling like I’m dragging myself uphill through life!

    1. I’m 43 and started vaginal estrodial and hormonal BC pills about a year ago. It’s made a huge difference with balancing out the moods/sleep/fatigure but I also added a bunch of supplements that are helping too. Take a blood test first before adding, and do one at a time, but for me a B vitamin, vitamin D3, magnesium glycanate, and PEA (for brain fog) are all helping a lot.

    2. I have a Mirena IUD so that’s progesterone, I think. At age 45, When I went to my doc with peri symptoms, I got put on daily 1 mg of estrogen right away. Helped reduce night sweats, even out my moods, within the week. Obviously the doctor has my history, I’m low-risk, blah blah blah. He says I’m good until age 52.

      I still have too many chin hairs. Like I’m not not-peri now. It’s just…. Even. Less wild swings.

    3. My gyn put me on continuous BC because peri had made my periods a nightmare (2 periods a month, crying at my desk, etc). Didn’t help with weight gain – I think that’s here to stay. Magnesium glycinate helps with sleep. More recently I’ve started v@gi nal estrogen, which has helped make that area a little more comfortable.

    4. Yes, I went on HRT (you can add GERD and Dry Eye to your list) and it made a huge difference. One of the arguments that seemed to influence my doctor to be comfortable with staying on it was she was prescribing drugs for each issue so I was taking quite a few on a daily basis and instead HRT took care of almost all of it. I’m low risk for breast cancer, heart attack and stroke, but high risk for osteoporosis and estrogen is protective for a lot of “later in life” issues beyond just perimenopause and menopause symptoms.

    5. Mine straight up wouldn’t even discuss it – she wanted to see XYZ charted irregular periods – but she was open to me going back on BC. I had to make a separate appt for that…coming up in just a short 6 weeks, so I’ll let you know real soon, ugh.

      1. I have just started the journey with HRT at 50. Started on progesterone only due to irregular bleeding. That got under control and got estrogen added which again messed up the bleeding. Ugh. hRT has not been the panacea I hoped for but I remain patient that eventually the right combination of doses can be found and my symptoms relieved. Oh what I would give for a good night of sleep!

    6. I’ve just started on estrogen patch + oral progesterone. Love it. My grandmother was on HRT for decades with no issues. Per my doctor, cardio risks are lower if you start while you are still having your period vs if you wait until after menopause. My doctor is also mid-40s and is super up on all the research because she’s personally interested.

      I EBF 3 babies and don’t smoke/very little alcohol, ‘normal’ BMI so my breast cancer risk factors are low. There was also a recent study that vaginal estrogen is fine for even BC survivors so there’s no reason for doctors not to be treated women and their symptoms.

      1. I’ve been on the same combination of hormones for the last 2 years and it’s honestly been life-changing. The hot flashes stopped in the first weeks and I slept through the night for the first time in several years. I feel like a new person.

    7. I did a telehealth appointment with a doctor specializing in peri/meno. She put me on 100mg daily of progesterone, and I’ve been on it for a year now. I think it’s helping me. I didn’t have sleep issues, but I had a lot of anxiety and mood swings. I started the estrogen patch in the spring, mostly for long term prevention of cardiovascular and cognitive issues, but it really didn’t agree with me. It made super bloated and moody. Once I went off it I felt fine. So I’m going to stick with progesterone and maybe try estrogen again in a few years (I’m 46). I also have the estradiol cream which I use maybe once a week when I remember.
      My periods were super regular until this last one, which is now 10 days late (no chance of pregnancy), but I’m not sure whether it has to do with the COVID shot or whether this is the start of irregular periods.

    8. Estradiol patch, progesterone, and testosterone gel. Sleep was the first symptom for me and the progesterone made a huge difference. It’s still not great but it is a whole lot better. Testosterone made a huge difference in my brain feeling like it was all there again. The big thing was finding a certified menopause specialist because they focus on treating symptoms and not arbitrary blood tests that don’t mean anything.

  18. I don’t have pierced ears, but occasionally like to wear earrings for fancy occasions. Clip-ons hurt my circulation. Someone here recommended a place on Etsy (LifeEssentialsCanada) that made these great earring with a metal wire that you just kind of twist in place and then the earrings just slide onto your ears. I loved those, but stupidly only bought one pair and just lost them, and the Etsy shop is no longer in business. Does anyone know of anything similar?

      1. Not OP, but both hurt. I finally bit the bull et and pierced my ears a few years ago at 38.

    2. Following because I’d be interested in these too. I occasionally wear some earcuffs I bought at a Renfest ages ago and haven’t been able to find anything like them since.

  19. I am looking for winter walking boots. I have looked at Sorel and Merrell and nothing has caught my eye. I walk about 3 miles a day, and I need something that is comfortable and ideally somewhat cute. Waterproof would be a big plus, as well as warm. I have a wider toe box as well. In non-snowy months I walk in Hokas. Thanks!

    1. I walk a ton in Winter (have a dog, she needs walks). These are my favorite and worth every penny. They are on a sneaker last, and I put in a superfeet insole for slightly more arch support. They’re easy to get on, warm enough but not sweaty, and just really great winter shoes.

      Sorel KINETIC™ Impact Women’s Puffy Zip Waterproof Boot

    2. Following. I need something like the Merell Mocs but found they made my feet way too hot.

    3. This is not a personal recommendation, but last year I looked on and off at Timberlands and thought they looked interesting. I haven’t bought yet but I just browsed again and am newly curious. I especially like the look of the Women’s Timberland Warm-Lined Waterproof Roll-Top Boot.

      Winter footwear is so hard for me, I feel like I’m constantly on a quest.

    6. I have a pair of Cole Haan Zero Grand ankle boots that work well for this, assuming you’re meaning walking around cold sidewalks as opposed to traipsing through snowy fields.

    7. I have a wider foot and Danner hiking boots would be my go-to for this. They were a little tight when I bought mine but they’re leather so they wore in well. Mine have lasted years and you can get most models resoled. They’re the most expensive shoes I own because I’m not a fancy shoes person generally but I think they were worth it. They have waterproof and insulated models.

    9. I wear my ABEO shearling lined boots a lot in the winter, but mine aren’t waterproof. I’m charmed that they make a removable shearling insole (it looks Aetrex makes one too), without which they wouldn’t be supportive enough. I also wear my waterproof insulated Blondos a lot when I want to look cuter, but they’re not really walking boots.

        1. Oh man. I just realized I put yaktrax on them a couple years ago and I don’t even think about it now. They were slippery before I did that.

    12. When I moved to New England a few years ago, I noticed a LOT more Blundstones than in my previous area, and now I’m a convert. I spent the extra $30 on Vibram soles and they truly feel like wearing sneakers to me.

    13. My dressy Aquatalia boots are crazy comfortable. I don’t have any of the more casual ones but I would think they would be even more comfortable.

    14. Not sure they meet the cute requirement, but my Keen winter boots are so comfortable and keep my feet dry, so I can walk for hours. Love them.

  20. Very specific request. My insurance does not require a referral so I’m in search of a doctor to evaluate my arm. I don’t recall a specific injury, but the pain is recurring and I think has been for many years. It’s a specific/sharp pain in my left arm below the bulge of my bicep (“bulge” … I’m not THAT muscular but just to give an idea of location..). Said differently, 4-5 inches below the top of my shoulder bone. It’s triggered doing very specific motions that I can repeat to make it hurt.

    Is this rotator cuff? Does a general orthopedic doctor see this? I suspect something is torn, which I hate but I would like to just know so I can figure out what to do. I’ve lived with it for a while but now I have a 2 year old that I’m picking up a lot so it has been extra aggravated lately. I expect I’ll need an MRI to diagnose than hopefully some kind of PT. I’d love to just go to PT directly – is that acceptable? Busy, fully time working mom so I’m trying to do whatever I can that is most efficient to help this along. TIA.

    1. Orthopedic surgeon to evaluate, ideally an MRI to diagnose. I’d try to find the local pro sports orthopedic practice (Hospital for special surgery in the tri-state area). They tend to be super on top of all the new treatments/research.

      1. Eh no need for “surgeon” just yet. Start with sports medicine practice, a hand-arm-shoulder specialist if you can. They’ll have a favorite surgeon if you need one.

    2. Yes, I’d go to an ortho, and yes, statistically, it’s probably rotator cuff, or perhaps biceps or labrum. The doc will either know, or refer you to an MRI. PT doesn’t make sense until they know what the issue is.

    3. In my state, MRIs do not require a prescription, and you can go to a freestanding MRI clinic on almost no notice. The radiologist reads the results, and we’ve always received the report by the next morning. It was a few hundred dollars but worth it not to deal with the ortho appointment (there are orthos who specialize in shoulders, though), getting the referral for an MRI, waiting for the MRI staff to call you for an appointment, waiting weeks for the appointment and the report, and then going back to the ortho. Ugh. Your ortho may be annoyed, but you could still make the appointment and take your MRI with you.

      1. MRIs often cost thousands depending on how many images, and many US health plans require pre-authorization and will only cover a certain number of images, so proceed with caution re the above advice….

    4. I have an excellent primary doc, so for something similar, I went to her. She checked (by asking questions and having me do specific movements) to make sure PT was appropriate and recommended PT. PT worked super well.

      I think it’s fine to start with PT if you have access to skilled PT who can appropriately assess and decline to treat if you need MD evaluation. However, if you have a good primary, I’d start with the primary just to confirm that PT is appropriate.

    5. I had shoulder surgery for an instability, slap tear, and impingement. Go to the sports orthopedist. I went to many other doctors who knew nothing.

  21. My husband and I are planning our (delayed) honeymoon to Bordeaux in the spring. Both of us speak French and have spent considerable time in France, but never been to Bordeaux, so would love any recommendations for hotels/restaurants/activities/day trips! We love regional specialties, will want to tour a winery (recommendations welcome) and explore a bit more of the surrounding areas. We have 2 weeks. Thanks in advance!

    1. Definitely go to St Emilion! Was the highlight of our Bordeaux trip.

      A lot of the wineries don’t do tours/tastings like they do in the US but there are great wine stores where they will basically do tastings of the local producers for you, then ship you bottles of what you like. We walked into one randomly and had a great experience.

    2. Biarritz is nice if you would like to do a few days on the coast. Though in the spring, it will be fairly quiet . The Hotel du Palais is probably the nicest hotel option in Biarritz.

    3. I really like hotel and restaurant properties I have located in the Relais and Châteaux group. We don’t run into as many American tourists as they tend to require some language skills.

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