Coffee Break: Perennial Belt

90 Comments

1. Which is the best reason to give when asked why I want to leave my popular employer after 8 years:

   – I’ve moved states and am looking for something closer to home (this is false, but is easy)

   – After an incredibly busy regulatory period for the last 8 years, work for teapot handles is now quiet without anything on the horizon and I’m looking for new challenges in teapot lids

   – I used to work in teapot lids, and after 8 years in teapot handles, I’d like to go back to lids – there are great features about lids I really miss/enjoy

   1. is one true? not to sound trite but usually there is a way of framing the real reason in a way that is appropriate and sounds authentic.

      1. Two and three are true.

         1. Why not just say both? Combined, they’re a great answer: why you want to leave and why you want to go in the direction you’re seeking to go.

   2. Don’t lie.

   3. More importantly, which one is true /and/ relevant to the job you’re applying for\. No one who is hiring actually needs to know why you’re leaving your old job – they need to know a) you’re not a drama llama problem and b) why is the *new job* a fit for you?

   4. don’t lie and in particular about something so easy to find out!

      what do you want from the new role? that should drive how you explain the real reason in a tactful way.

   5. I would focus on the first one. The others make me wonder why you aren’t moving divisions within your company.

      1. I agree.

      2. Except it’s really not going to look good when they find out it’s a lie.

         1. Explain a bit more, please.

            1. the OP is clear that it’s not true. it’s both an annoying lie to have to keep up (pretending an entire history of life somewhere you didn’t… actually live) and a very easy one to pop up in a background check…

            2. That’s not why the OP is leaving but I assume it’s true that she moved somewhere else?

      3. Yes, as long as you actually moved / are moving, I would go with this route.

   6. Two or three are fine. I had a lot of interviews in the past year, and everyone was satisfied with my short and sweet explanation about why I was looking to change jobs. I don’t think people expect you to share a lot of details about this.

2. I like Talbots belts. They have some that are reversible that really fill wardrobe holes.

   1. I still laugh about the time I showed my husband how to reverse his reversible belt without using a tiny screwdriver to unscrew the buckle from the belt part. It really blew his mind.

3. I had a cold last week and I’m still miserable. It’s impossible to swallow without intense pain. Negative for strep, no fever at all, urgent care says it just needs to run its course. They said my throat looks ok so I assume it’s post-nasal drip rather than my tonsils. Tell me I will eventually get better.

   1. Oh, I meant to add my son had the same cold and he was negative for covid. He’s fine now. I wfh and almost never leave my house so I didn’t pick up something outside the family.

      1. Have you tested for covid? Because a stabbing sore throat is the most notable symptom of the current variant. It sounds like knowing you have it probably won’t change your treatment, but if you go out, it would be polite to mask up.

         To treat it now, try saltwater gargles, hot drinks with honey, and steroid nasal spray. Hope you feel better soon!

   2. It will eventually get better, but intense pain is unusual for post-nasal drip. Dry/scratchy/irritated, yes, but what you describe sounds way more like strep and apparently false negatives are pretty common with strep. I had it a couple years ago and it took 3 swabs (and me feeling like I was dying) before I finally got a positive test and antibiotics. So if things don’t improve soon I’d go back to the doctor.

      1. The rapid strep was negative but they also took a swab to culture overnight – so they’ll let me know if it’s positive.

         Also I have cold symptoms and no fever, both not associated with strep IME

   3. they do make throat sprays that have a slight numbing effect — or else just drink a lot of very cold drinks or maybe hot drinks with honey.

      1. Honey and lemon juice. Hope you get relief.

   4. throat coat tea works magic!

   5. Oh this has happened to me before and it is miserable. I actually remember when it happened when I was in high school, and I am approaching my 49th birthday. Have you tried taking something to dry up the post-nasal drip a bit, like the good Sudafed? I hope it passes quickly.

      1. That was probably mono. Worst throat pain ever, and you were the right age.

         1. +1 I remember when I had mono and they had to do a throat swab to check for strep. I knew it wasn’t strep and the throat swab was so uncomfortable and painful. The technician dropped the swab and had to do it again and I almost cried.

   6. I watch a lot of Real Housewives and so many of them make this same transition. They start off natural and pretty, then get some work done and still look pretty, and then get too much done and look increasingly bizarre.

      1. +1 I feel like Heather Dubrow is a great example of subtle work that keeps you looking fresh but not overdone. But most of the rest of them have gone waaay overboard.

         1. Funny as her husband was the one to go through the overdone phase.

   7. I had a bad round of … something in my 20s and had that intense pain when swallowing. I basically took as much advil as I could for maybe 6 or 7 days? It was the only way I could sleep through the night.

4. does anyone else find Kristi Noem’s physical transformation to be… I don’t even know. She’s so pretty now but in such a fake way, whereas before she seemed solidly middle of the road in a boring way.

   1. She looks absurd. There’s a standard she’s trying to meet, I get that, but she’s leaning more toward caricature.

   2. She’s not pretty now

   3. I don’t think she’s pretty now. I think she looks like an alien with all that filler and surgery. I think she was much prettier before. (Looking at this pic for reference: https://zarenclinic.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/08/did-kristi-noem-have-plastic-surgery-before-and-after-analysis-00.jpg)

      1. I can’t believe that’s the same person. She was really attractive before.

   4. You think she looks pretty now?

   5. Yes, but I think it’s primarily because it feels like a clearly adult woman trying to look like a nubile young girl/doll. It’s the only way I can really explain it. I think even 1-2 years ago she looked much more like your typical maga woman, which is an aesthetic I solidly place in “good for you, not for me” category. And yes, yes, we don’t need to talk about women’s appearances but it’s a fashion blog for overachieving chicks and she definitely counts. FWIW, I think Pam Bondi looks amazing – the woman is in her 60s! I may not agree with her on anything but hats off and I would buy whatever moisturizer she is using.

      1. i’ve always thought Pam Bondi looks rough like the day after a drinking spree but did not know she’s 60.

         1. Pam Bondi is haggard and horrid like her boss.

      2. She’s 59 according to Wikipedia. I thought she was much younger!

         1. She fully looks 59 to me. Just 59 trying to be 30 instead of natural 59.

            Isn’t there some saying about how you can take a decade off but not more. 59 year olds with good work can look 49 but no 59 year old looks 30.

   6. wow, that is quite a bit of work. nope!

   7. somewhat related – https://www.youtube.com/shorts/ITbiRMxdh3Q

   8. I think she looked better before. I don’t think she actually looks “conventionally pretty” after.

   9. I think what gets me is that previously she looked like a wash-and-go kind of woman, whereas now it looks like she needs a hair/makeup team for daily life. I don’t understand how any woman of substance can find the time and patience for that. (Giving her the benefit of the doubt that she’s a woman of substance at all since she was governor.)

      1. +1. Her previous look seemed achievable for a busy woman. Now it seems like she spends way too much time each morning applying false eyelashes and contouring. Combined with the mermaid waves it says she cares more about being s-xy than being taken seriously in a room full of our country’s leaders. I say this as someone who styles her hair and wears makeup every day. A recent photo of her actually inspired me to schedule a haircut.

         1. As a woman of a certain age who loved her own long, flowy hair, I have cut it up to shoulder length and ditched a lot of the loose waves. My hair was signaling something I am most decidedly not. There is a certain look common to the MAGA women, even regular women in my mid-sized SEUS city.

            1. Yeah, I ditched my blonde for a darker shade and donated everything red. That and clean face makeup clearly says not in the cult.

            2. I feel like where I live that look is less about politics and more about being a rich SAHM with big budget (in terms of both time and money) for beauty maintenance.
               There’s overlap between that group and MAGA to be sure but they’re not synonymous.

   10. I liked her so much better before. She looked like a working mom I’d hang out with. Now? Mercy. The extensions, the giant hoop earrings, the fillers, the fake eyelashes. Why if you’re successful and smart would you go out of your way to make yourself look like a bimbo?

       And no, she is not pretty now. It’s impossible to be pretty when you’ve turned into a MAGA fem-bot.

       1. I agree. She used to loke smart and still approachable.
          She looks fake now

   11. MAGA will accept women as leaders so long as they remain deferential to male leadership and, most importantly, continue to uphold conventional beauty standards. In other words, MAGA might be willing to listen to a woman if she looks f8ckable.

       1. This is truth.

       2. It’s incel bait. Make the few conventionally attractive women in your cult the face of it. And make them look vaguely like blow up dolls.

   12. In this photo (2018), she looks a bit like Elizabeth Prelogar:

       https://sdaho.org/2018/04/13/2018-farm-bill-introduced/

       Now? I am not sure what she’s going for.

       1. I despise the woman, but she looks perfectly good here. She’s pretty, looks professional, that hairstyle is reasonably flattering. There is nothing that needs to change. Put this picture against her current look and you can barely tell they’re the same person.

          1. I am the Anon who posted the photo and compared her to Prelogar (who I think is smart and beautiful), and I agree.

             The transformation isn’t for the better.

          2. I think the hairstyle is unflattering but otherwise I agree she looks pretty and relatively natural.

       2. I can’t believe that photo was 2018. That hair was out of style years and years before then.

   13. She’s a ghoul. And she looks it.

       1. Exactly!

   14. Eh. I’m pretty pro fillers, lashes and hair extensions. Love it all. Rock it lady do your thing. Jasmine Crockett, for instance, looks like a million bucks. But Kristi doesn’t look…well. It looks likes she’s wearing a costume to hide something.

       1. You can’t compare Jasmine Crockett to Kristi Noem. There’s so much differentiating them as women (age and power/seniority/tenure, to name a couple), not to mention the huge r a c i a l differences in beauty standards.

          1. I’ll give you race but they’re both nationally recognized politicians and less than ten years apart in age. I think jasmine is doing a LOT and it looks incredible. I think Kristi is doing a LOT and it looks terrible.

       2. Agree. I’m 50 and do Botox, have long hair, get eyelash extensions, wear makeup, etc.—not a “natural look” fan by any means. But I don’t think she looks good at all. It’s all too much. She looks like a puppet or weird doll or something. And I can only imagine how much worse in person.

          1. Yeah I feel like she’s not actually doing too much so much as she’s doing it all poorly and also not doing the underlying stuff. Like the hair extensions need to be blended better and probably shorter; they hang weird and look obvious. If it were shorter and not in obvious curls you wouldn’t clock them as extensions. Her eyelashes plus heavy nighttime makeup look insane but everyone would probably react much better to well done lashes with daytime makeup. And her skin should be flawless underneath which it isn’t. Skip the Smokey eye and get the skin right! Lip filler is mostly not like this; she just did way too much filler and popped dark lipstick and gloss on it. I think everyone is calling it too much when it’s just badly done. I bet people in your life clock you as looking great “naturally” because if you don’t get these treatments you only spot the badly done versions.

             1. I don’t think anyone on this thread is saying it’s impossible to look good with makeup, botox/fillers or even surgeries. They’re just saying Kristi Noem doesn’t look good. I’m not sure there’s a big difference between too much and badly done? It seems like you’re arguing semantics. “Too much” IS “badly done” imo. Specifically, she quite literally has way too much filler and way too much makeup.

   15. It’s that MAGA woman look. It’s a very bizarre thing.

       https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/03/maralago-face-conservative-girl-makeup-brutal-aesthetics-of-maga-trump-gaetz-guilfoyle/

   16. No, she looks awful now. She was attractive before in a wholesome Midwestern way. I will never understand ruining your face with plastic surgery.

   17. they call her ICE Barbie for a reason.

5. I own a home that is beautiful but quirky. Some of the quirks are becoming real issues. I have decided this is the year I fix those things and have hired a bunch of trades in the last few months.

   Over time and multiple visits, it becomes obvious to a workman that I live there alone. About a third of the time, a subtle undercurrent of hostility develops. At my age (late 30s) I think my being alone and childless indicates a certain political persuasion or at least I meet the definition of “single independent woman” which has become a pejorative term in right w i n g circles.

   What can I do? I sometimes fib about the home being my dad’s or invent a brother or even partner living with me. But anybody spending time in my house, using the bathroom, working in the master, whatever…they are going to know.

   I’m worried about being targeted by these men as unrest escalates. But I need to fix my home. Advice?

   1. Have one framed photo of a man that you take out and put somewhere during these occasions and then mention your “late husband”? Sucks that you have to though.

   2. I do a lot of repairs myself, and can converse coherently with most trades people and am not afraid to call bs. I am good for a solid referral for those who do good work. That has always been enough. If someone gives me the ick when doing an estimate, I don’t hire them.

   3. Don’t hire someone who weirds you out. Maybe you are right that he doesn’t like that you’re an unmarried, successful woman with her own home. Maybe he is a thief. Maybe he does shoddy work. Maybe he grooms children.

      Listen to the feeling and find someone else.

      1. +1. I am the one who hires all the tradespeople in my home, both because I work at home and because I grew up with family in trades. Anyone who couldn’t speak to me respectfully, look me in the eye, and explain what they were proposing to do and why wasn’t hired. Unfortunately I have had a few super MAGA folks but they were all subcontractors and I was polite but did NOT engage and had my GC there for their work (watch the Patton Oswalt bit about sub-contractors this was my experience almost to a tee).

         1. All of this. We also go very much with gender role reversal and if my husband is the one that’s home, I leave a note on the fridge with instructions on what scope I am interested and not interested in, and a memo to call me. Anyone that balks and defers to husband is not hired.

      2. This. My mom was a single mom and dealt with this and I’ve been alone plenty. The biggest thing is not to hire someone you don’t feel comfortable around.

         Consider a taser or bear spray if you’re really worried.

   4. Find better contractors and do not hire any tradesmen you feel hostility from. I live in a red area in a purple state, and work with a lot of tradesmen. I absolutely do not want to dismiss your concerns as a single independent woman -I fully realize that’s a different situation than me. I just really know a lot of very good tradesmen out there who may be conservative, but they’re far from this weird ass JD Vance women haters version – so find those people! And then focus on talking about projects only.

      1. +1. I’ve encountered plenty of “Is your husband home?” types, and I don’t do business with them, but I also don’t feel like each of them is a threat to my physical safety. It would be worth reflecting on the subconscious signs that may be giving you this reaction so you know what to look for.

   5. This situation sucks. I agree with the other commenter to pretend a photo of a man is your deceased husband. In general any woman should be cautious when home alone with a workman. Make a mental note of everyone’s name when they arrive. Keep your valuables locked up or in your line of sight. Occasionally lie and say a friend might be dropping something off that day. Stand closest to the door if he wants to show you something in an enclosed room. Don’t put yourself in a physical position that makes it hard to defend yourself. Ask him to back up if he’s too close- pretend he’s blocking the light or something. Don’t give away too much information because it feels polite. You can be vague or redirect questions. These men don’t need to know your usual routine, what exactly you do for a living, etc.

   6. can you ask in a local FB group for recommendations and then see which women recommend the same guy?

      but I’d agree with the dead husband photo or maybe even a few men’s clothes hanging and a photo of your long distance boyfriend?

      1. This sounds like a growth sector for a woman. We need more women handy-“men”!

6. Dumb question, but does anyone know how to pronounce this brand? DeMillier
   It’s a british brand, but it looks french enough that I’m unsure if it gets a little flair. Dee-mill-ee-er? Duh-mill-ee-aye?

   It’s been stalking me around the internet for months.

   1. It might help if I spelled it correctly. DeMellier. https://demellierlondon.com/

   2. deMELL-yee-eh if you want to use the owner’s pronounciation

   3. You can call the company and listen to the greeting. I did this when settling a debate about Athleta :)

      1. Thank you both! (Genius!)

   4. Depends if you pronounce it in Spanish or English, it is a London base brand but with a Catalonian owner/founder that produces in Spain. I always have heared her pronounced in Spanish.

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