This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
I feel like we’ve seen beige sneakers, and we’ve seen black details on sneakers… but it’s a rare sneaker that combines the two in a way that looks minimal but noticeably cool.
I think this $99 sneaker from Edelman is one of the few ones that’s doing it well.
The shoe comes in another 4 colors if this one isn’t for you, though, and has 54 good reviews.
The shoe is available in sizes 5-12.
Sales of note for 7.3.24
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 70% off; limited-time savings on selected shoes
- Ann Taylor – 50% off your purchase in stores and online
- Anthropologie – End of season sale, extra 50% off sale styles
- Athleta – Semi-annual sale, up to 70% off
- Banana Republic Factory – Event of the Season – 50-70% off everything, take an extra 25% off your purchase
- Boden – Sale, up to 60% off
- Eloquii – Extra 60% off all sale
- Everlane – Up to 70% off
- Hugo Boss – Extra 20% off sale with code SALE20. This pretty silk blouse comes down to $110, and these chic pants are $95.
- J.Crew – End of Season Sale, up to 60% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 50-70% off everything
- Lo & Sons – Independence Day sale, up to 40% off
- Loft – 50% off your purchase
- Madewell – End of season sale, up to 70% off with code.
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide. (Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think this is the biggest sitewide discount I’ve ever seen…)
- NET-A-PORTER – Extra 15% off sale with code at checkout.
- Rothy’s – Lots of great finds in the “final few” section
- Talbots – 40% off your purchase
- Theory – Summer sale, 20% off
anon
I picked up this Emerson Fry caftan. It is pretty see-through. I was hoping to get away with wearing it on weekends, just going to brunch or the farmer’s market etc… Anyone have this? What do you wear under it? Just nude for you underwear and hope for the best? Or do you save it for the beach as a cover-up only?
https://emersonfry.com/products/emerson-caftan-cerulean
JHC
I have one and use it only as a cover-up for this reason.
ABanon
I’d just return it. It’s beautiful but you can’t wear it anywhere. Even the beach — it won’t look nice over anything but a white/nude swimsuit & that’s terribly impractical.
anon
Thanks JHC and ABanon. I was even debating getting the tiniest of slips, although that defeats the cool cotton fabric…..
Anon
+1. I ordered and returned a few of their caftans last summer for this reason – too see through.
anon
I just bought a few pairs of cotton eyelet shorts to wear underneath. The top is fine with just a bra. I love it too much…
Anon
I have a couple and they’re pool/ beach coverups, walk to the snack bar. Her other dresses are more substantial while still being lightweight if that’s what you’re looking for. I wear her regular cotton dresses all summer long. Big fan of the brand.
Anonymous
What’s everyone doing next week for 4th of July? Just found out my husband has W-F off and wishing I’d made plans to go somewhere fun… maybe we’ll do a last minute trip.
anon
Not much. We always go to a family member’s house to swim during the day. I could really take or leave the evening fireworks. Our city and neighborhood are batcrap crazy about fireworks, and it gives me so much anxiety.
Senior Attorney
I’m taking a solo trip to Portland, Oregon for a week to visit my daughter! Will also be spending time with friends who moved there a few years ago. Very excited!
Anon
Anatomy scan after previous loss. If that goes well, the time off will feel more celebratory. Otherwise, it’s going to be hot af so swimming!
Peloton
Hey, good luck! I really hope it goes well for you.
Anon
Fingers crossed for you!!
Anon
Throwing a little party for a handful of friends at our summer house.
Anon
In Bar Harbor/Acadia Maine with my daughter for a week of vacation!
Loofah
Ugh that sounds SO NICE! I hope you have a great time.
Anonymous
I’m getting a filling on the 6th; other than that, no plans. We also have off Thurs – Fri but more travel isn’t in the budget right now. I think I’m going to organize some closets and try to go to the beach. I can’t deal with the firework crowd hassle (in NYC).
Anon
getting the heck out of the country – 4 day weekend in the Bahamas!
Anon
We didn’t do it this year but I like to be out of the country over the holiday as well (especially post 2016) and we often take our summer Europe trip then.
anon
Relaxing at home. I travel for work, so the last thing I want is another trip.
Anon
There’s a cute neighborhood gathering on the 4th at a park near my house. They’re not all neighbors that I personally know, but I think we will check it out for a while (it’s in the morning) and then come home and grill some late lunch. We can’t see fireworks from where we live but we will hear them all night, which means our two rescue dogs will come in well before dusk, and we’ll probably watch a movie!
TelcoLadyJD
We have a 1.5 and 3.5 year old – so it will be a long holiday weekend of keeping our children alive. LOL. But we’ll probably go to a nearby neighborhood July 4th parade and picnic, do a couple of playground trips, and go swimming. Also, hotdogs and popsicles.
Anon
TAHOE! It’s the best for the 4th.
Anon
Russian River, similar awesome!
Anon
Family pot luck at the lake. It’s one of the few times a year that my mother’s crazy-healthy, athletic family goes all in on comfort food and I am here for it. Then there will be digestive boat rides. Followed by a family pickleball tournament.
Anonymous
I have a car trip coming up with family – is there maybe a cozy mystery or something people would recommend on audiobook? i’ve never read cozy mysteries but maybe that could be a family thing. preferably something that is written simply, like with $.10 words instead of $1 words.
Peloton
Does “family” include kiddos (and if so, ages / any content limits there)?
I really loved most of the books in the Aunt Dimity series, and the mysteries are gentle enough for almost all ages.
Anon
You want All Creatures Great and Small on audiobook. It is the best.
Peloton
Oh my god, yes, we listened to this on a road trip when I was a kid. It is the PERFECT family car trip book.
anon
Shady Hollow by Juneau Black is a quintessential cottage core mystery. I gave a paperback copy to my 95 year old neighbor and she loved it! Definitely PG rated and definitely more in the $0.10 word category.
Senior Attorney
Depending on the ages of everybody, the audiobook of The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society (the title might be slightly garbled) is very enjoyable, although there is some WWII content that’s hard to take if you’re sensitive. It’s an epistolary novel and all the letter-writers are voiced by different actors.
Anan
We’ve been listening to To Night Owl from Dogfish. (Also an epistolatory novel). It’s about two twelve year olds whose dads have met and fallen in love and send the girls to the same sleepaway camp to get to know each other.
Also- on my Library’s Libby there are hour long dramatic adaptations of Agatha Christie novels- they’re quite fun.
Anon
Because of Winn Dixie is a great all-ages choice.
Anon
For Reasons, I will have to socialize quite a bit over the coming year with someone who is best described as a loud, proud, and overtly religious homemaker. (Yep, she calls herself a homemaker.) If you’ve ever been in this situation, what did you talk to the person about? I can only handle so much info about junior’s soccer game before my eyes glaze over (or about how great Louisiana’s Ten Commandments requirement is before I start quoting the Constitution).
Anon
Find your common ground and dive in there. Do you both enjoy baking, crafting, decorating, organizing the kitchen, etc. Most people IRL stay away from intentionally being incendiary and you may be pleasantly surprised at how much you might have in common if you give it a chance. One of the best things in my life is having friends from every political stripe.
Anon
This.
anon
+1
Senior Attorney
Definitely find the common ground. If it were me I’d talk about baking.
Anon NYC
Yes I love to cook so I’d talk recipes.
Peloton
Hey, I’m related by marriage to this person! Pretty early on in our relationship, I said, “you know, Beth, I just don’t like mixing politics or religion with family, because I get plenty of that at work/church, and I really prefer to hear about what’s going on with you when we get to catch up. Can you tell me about how Nick’s soccer team [or whatever] is going?” And then ask questions that steer to things *she* is doing and *she* is experiencing or feeling and away from religion and politics. I don’t even mind if she tells me about, like, how she’s organizing an event for the church, as long as we stick to what she’s doing and don’t steer too far into religion/doctrine. And I do the same — she does not hear about my political opinions or my religious views.
Oh, I also absolutely muted her on all social media, because the kind, interesting, smart woman who shows up at our toddler play dates is a TERRIBLE person online. If I looked at her social media presence, we would not be so close (and I think we are genuinely close at this point!). None of us are our real selves online (thank god). I think the relationship has turned out to be a positive one for both of us, and it would not have been if we had not decided religion/politics were off-limits at the start. (I actually think now we could probably talk about religion or politics because we like each other enough, but I don’t think either of us are willing to risk it).
Anon
I don’t think OP needs to give that speech unless the person in question brings those topics up. I live in a state with lots of people like that, and they often don’t bring up the topics to people randomly. Some do! So just be prepared either way.
Peloton
I assumed she was affirmatively bringing them up since OP said she was “loud and proud” and referenced her bringing up the Ten Commandments thing, but I totally agree that if she is just a keyboard warrior who has the good sense to not actually rant to people in real life, just match that energy!
Anon
Don’t pigeonhole her – find common ground. Maybe that’s cooking, your kids, whatever, talk about those things and ignore the rest.
Anonymous
You just have to ask lots of questions and try your best not to let the interested act drop. I had one of these in my life and I could not find a single common ground…. she didn’t consume any of the same media I did, have any similar interests or hobbies. I used baking as my ’emergency’ topic switch when the conversation really need to stop I’d talk about the newest recipe I had tried.
Anonymous
I have two different approaches. Either find common ground like food, wine, vacation spots, music ,ect or just ask about something you have no idea about. Is this lady churning butter and spinning yarn or does she go to monster truck shows or something else that you can ask about? i find it interesting when someone can tell me about something I know little about. Neither of these work if she’s a blowhard or jerk who only spouts right wing nonsense but they’ll work on more people than you’d think.
Anonymous
Oh also lots of liberal working parents like talking about their kids’sports. It’s a pretty harmless topic . Even as a non parent and non sports fan its easy to understand that its a big deal to the kids.
Anon
Sounds like an “aww bless your heart” would be just the thing here.
Anon
Not a great way to amicably socialize!
Anon
She could say the exact same thing to OP. This kind of snarking at people accomplishes nothing.
Anonymous
No, not this.
Adults can handle those with other views maturely.
anon
My first suggestion is try to be a curious person who can get along with other people. 45% of Americans say religion is “very important” in their life and 1 in 4 mothers are full time homemakers; this is not a rare thing. But then again my husband is an overtly religious homemaker who likes to talk about musicals, woodworking and local sports whereas I am a boring biglaw partner with no hobbies so I am biased in thinking he would be the more interesting person to socialize with. If you have to socialize with this person, then treat it like a job and make work-appropriate small talk.
Anonymous
Weather.
Anon
There was talk the other day about ladies in New York wearing white sneakers to work. I’ll also be there soon, would white Hokas look completely stupid with dresses for commuting? Or are the “clean white sneaks” you all described more of a cute sneaker? I have both, so debating what to bring, but Hokas are best for my feet.
Cat
Hokas are not a “street sneaker for with a dress” – you can do intentionally clunky but Hokas aren’t it. Better to go with low-profile white.
Anonymous
New Yorker here – You will see ALL kinds of things on the subway, but for wearing with dresses, people probably meant cute/fashion sneakers, not something you would actually want to run in. I personally prefer Birkenstocks for my summer commuting; they look okay with skirts and dresses but are cool and just as comfortable as sneakers for me. But it is also fine to do what is best for your feet.
Anon
I mentioned this in the thread the other day and meant Vejas, Tretorns, Addidas shell toes or designer ones (I saw Loewe and Gucci Bees in my office). I’m personally a fan of Nike Daybreaks or other old school low profile tennis shoes.
Anon
Just wear Hokas for commuting. I’ve done this many times in Boston, in my colorful pair. No one has said anything to me or looked askance.
editrix
I’m probably older than you but I see a lot of New Balance 327s and wear them myself. As distinct from Vejas and Cariuma Salvas, which have their place. I work in Midtown, not in finance.
tabby cat
I have used Vanguard personal advisor services for a few years and feel it’s time to re-evaluate what’s out there.
I need a place to handle my and my husband’s backdoor Roth IRAs, handle our brokerage accounts, link to our 401(k)/HSA/savings accounts in other entities, and provide calculators that assess our retirement picture using all of our accounts. I like to play around with hypotheticals to see how much we would have to save to retire at X age. Our managed assets would total about $200K. My view on advisory fees is that you get what you pay for, but I also realize that our needs are simply. We’re in our early 30s and saving for retirement is our only major financial goal.
anon
Fidelity.
You don’t need to paying % advisor fees, especially for your needs.
It’s even worse than “you get what you pay for”. You often LOOSE a lot by paying for an advisor that takes a % of your holdings … even in down times when they aren’t making you extra $$. And now Vanguard is like everywhere, trying to get you to invest in their managed funds when you would be better off just investing in VTI / total stock market funds and letting it ride.
I have had Fidelity, Vanguard, and TIAA accounts, and am finally consolidating all with Fidelity and just closed my Vanguard accounts. I strongly recommend the Bogleheads forums for asking investment questions and Fidelity customer service for facilitating your basic needs. Keep it simple, invest for the long term.
I also recommend using Fidelity as your “bank”. I am able to keep essentially all of my $ in very high interest and money market funds, moving over money just as I need it to a “cash management” account for bill pay. I use the Fidelity credit card for 2% cash back on everything too, and like using their website for my investing/banking/bill pay.
anon
We have accounts with Fidelity. We ended up getting under this “friends and family” plan with a low fee because my parents also have accounts there. I’m not sure what the fee is without that, but but we’ve been happy with the services over all.
Anon
I would use a fee-only CFP for this, and not pay a percentage of my assets.
Peloton
At your net worth, I would self manage at Vanguard.
Anon
+1
I expected another zero in the AUM given the lead up. At this amount, you are better off self-managing and using a fee-only adviser if you need someone to give you a sanity check on your plan.
Anon
Agree. If you want advice post on the Bogel Head forums and then sift throught the replies for the most common recommendations. Vanguard has a pretty decent retirement calculator and so does Nerd Wallet. Here’s a link to the Monte Carlo simulator that many advisors use: https://www.portfoliovisualizer.com/monte-carlo-simulation
Anonymous
This is a NB knockoff shoe.
Cat
Totally agree- I scrolled back up to double check if NB had added a new logo style.
anonypotamus
To me this looks like a knockoff Loewe flow runner!
Anon
Does anyone have the Boden plisse dress with a tiered shorter skirt? Where do you wear yours? Events? Dates? I’m not sure where this dress fits in my life (I ordered in a pinch when I was suddenly a size larger after perimenopause and COVID). Still can’t figure it out but it’s a nice dress. Sleeves are sheer-ish. The fabric seems fancy, but I don’t have a lot of fancy events in my life.
Anon
Just looked it up and while it’s cute enough, this isn’t a dress I would wear, either. Maybe a date night, but even then this isn’t my style.
If you need permission, this an internet stranger says it is perfectly fine if you send it on its way.
Anon
lol, I just looked it up and I bought it too. It’s hung unworn in my closet. I have a cocktails, nice restaurants and fancy kind of life but I never have put it on. It’s literally NWT! Now that you’ve called my attention back to it, I may wear it next time I go to a restaurant.
Anonymous
Hope people don’t mind a follow-up question – had posted a few months ago regarding my cardiologist of 20 plus years since I was college age who is retiring and I was wondering how to acknowledge it, as I think he’s amazing. The consensus was a card. Have that written and ready to mail as it’s now his last week.
Just got an email from the university health system’s cardiology department that they have established a fund his name. Not super clear what the fund does but it just things about pushing forward his legacy in cardiology at this university with funds being focused on the needs of cardiology nurses, PAs etc. For anyone who knows anything about university development, can I assume that he wanted and agreed to this fund being established, rather than the university just doing it in his name? I assume so because he is going to continue to work at the health system for another year or so in teaching and research, just not patient care, before fully retiring. I mean I am guessing he decided he wants something that is helpful to staff that works with him like nursing or PAs, rather than say the funding going to naming a conference room or endowed chair or something after him.
Question – what is the appropriate amount to give for something like this? I know there isn’t a right answer, but what would feel right to you? I’d like to give but don’t want to give embarrassingly too little or too much, as IDK if he will see a list of who gave what. I’m age 40s, lawyer, single, have known him for two decades. FWIW I went to this university and have been wanting to start giving to the university now that I’m financially established myself so I just view it as – this year I’d give to this fund, rather than a general fund for undergraduates or the law school or whatever.
Anonymous
Just give whatever you’d give to the university, without agonizing over the amount. Feel free to do whatever you’d like.
Peloton
This is such a lovely sentiment. If I were in your shoes, I would probably donate $500-$1000, but if your budget permits more or less, I don’t think either would be inappropriate.
Anonymous
Give whatever amount you feel comfortable giving. He may not have started the fund, but he would have agreed to lending his name to it. Often these funds are established by colleagues as a gesture for their colleague’s retirement. It is considered an honor.
As the cardiologist is staying on to teach, he may receive a list of those who gave to the fund to personally thank. Best practice is not to include amounts so he would have your name and contact information only. This is up to the honoree if he would like to do this extra stewardship step.
Anonymous
Omg give whatever you want why are you making this a huge weird thing
Peloton
Girl, it’s a Friday afternoon. This is the energy you’re bringing to the world???
Anon
Have the weekend you deserve, Anonymous!
Anon
You are really overthinking this. I get that you are grateful for his care, but the amount of energy you are expending on this is a little concerning. How many times have you posted about this now? Donate $500 a year if you can.
Anon
University staff here. He will not see the names of the donors or the amounts — the possible exception is if the donation is in the millions. So give whatever you want, but it won’t be a personal gift. And don’t expect the money to be “given” directly to the staff or for him to have much say in how the money gets used, either.
If you want to personally thank this person, send the card. The fund is perfectly fine, but it won’t be a personal act of gratitude except for you.
And I agree with everyone else: you’re overthinking this to an extreme, and it’s unclear why.
Anonymous
This may be university dependent because I’m on staff at a university health system where in honor of donations DO in fact include a notification to the honoree. Amount is not included though I suspect it would be if it were in the millions. But a few months after the campaign, honorees get a list of who gave. Agree with the prior posters though once the fund is established and the honoree generally agrees with use of their name and overall goal of it, they really get zero say in what the university does with the money. OP do whatever feels right. I know everyone is saying you’re overthinking but I think people who’ve been through it really do develop an attachment to providers. It may sound abnormal to super healthy 30 year olds but it really isn’t from what I’ve seen at my health system. If it were me I’d give a few hundred – say 300-500 and for me it would be just about giving to this fund this year rather than an undergraduate fund.
Anon
recommendations for the comfiest, squishiest water slides or “recovery slides” ? I’m not opposed to Oofos but also willing to try Amazon-style dupes. I’ve read a lot of reviews but would love advice about actual slides you’ve worn!
Anon
I managed to find Oofos on sale but still resented the price. But they’ve outlived a lot of other shoes for me despite wearing them constantly as house shoes. I got the thong instead of the slide, which to me makes the longevity more impressive, especially since they are still supportive (they’re not flattened or deflated if that makes sense). So I’m in favor of giving Oofos a try.
Anon
I missed the word “water.” Oofos are the comfiest, squishiest recovery slides, but I agree with 3:33 that they are slippery when wet.
Anon
SO slippery. I made the mistake of wearing them to the beach, and I ended up tripping and bruised my leg when my foot basically shot right out of them the first time they got wet.
Anon
I love my Oofos and am counting the days until my replacement pair arrives, but they’re terrible wet. They’re very slippery, both the foot bed and the sole so if, by “water slides,” you literally mean slides to wear around water, I would get something else.
Anon
For actual water wear, I would get a sandal that straps on to your foot and not a slide. Slides just don’t stay on in the water.
I have a pair of Merrell hiking sandals that I like for water wear. I tried a bunch of Chaco, Keen, and Teva styles with no success for my weird feet before going with them.
Anonymous
For wearing around water: I still swear by the original Adidas striped slides (flashback to middle school in the late 90’s when everyone wore these with crew socks lol)
Beat Down
I have had a year full of loss, including death and the loss of a long term relationship. I am emotionally depleted. I have never traveled alone but, more and more, I have a need to get away. I have about 8 days available in early July. I have reservations because I have never traveled alone and I’m a lady past my prime with lots of feelings of unworthiness these days. I’m working on it. Japan, Copenhagen, Spain, Italy, Turkey all sound so exciting but I’m paralyzed by fear and feelings of ineptness. I can’t seem to book anything. Add to that I’ve always hated planning trips. I’m looking for words of encouragement and inspiration, dear ‘rettes. Where would you go? What would you do? How do you push through fear when it arises? Please be kind and TIA.
Senior Attorney
Copenhagen is DIVINE, albeit super expensive. I did a wonderful thing called Meet the Danes, where I had dinner at somebody’s house. My host was Christine and she was lovely: https://www.meetthedanes.com/experiences/136 HIGHLY recommend! If you’ll email me at seniorattorney1 at gmail I’ll give you the scoop on what we did and where we went.
Senior Attorney
Also you can ask ChatGP to plan your trip and it will do a surprisingly good job. Just say “what shall I do for a week in Copenhagen?”
Pep
Trip Advisor has an AI trip planning tool you could check out
Annie Q
This works very well! I did this for a trip to Taiwan and ChatGPT did a really good job.
Peloton
I am sorry for the experiences you’ve had this year, and I’m so proud of you for doing this for yourself.
In July, I personally would do the northern Italian coast, assuming you’re fine with heat if it comes with a beach. (Otherwise, I’d do Copenhagen — I don’t find Japan particularly relaxing; Turkey is wonderful but a challenging solo first trip as a woman; and Spain will be even hotter than Italy, I think). There have been some great threads here relatively recently with drool-worthy accommodations overlooking the water; if you can’t find them, someone will definitely have a recommendation for you.
I hope you go and I hope you have a wonderful time.
Anon
Since you hate planning trips, can you outsource to a travel agent?
Kate
We had a great recent post on CorporetteMoms about what to do in Copenhagen — check it out (not just tips for parents/kids!): https://corporettemoms.com/copenhagen-with-kids-travel-tips-for-families/
Anon
You need a travel agent! That way someone else can take care of the planning and just show you where to go.
Tour Recs
Join a group like G Adventures or Intrepid! They’ll do all the planning for you and you’ll meet some potentially fabulous people on the trip. There also always tends to be a lot of solo female travelers, so it’s a great way to meet other similar ladies from all over the world. I’ve done a ton of their trips and they go to all of the places you listed, so poke around their sites and see if any of the trips strike your fancy!
Anon
This! G Adventures has a max of 16 ppl on their tours so it’s not massive but there are enough people if you want to “mingle”. They would be happy to accommodate you on short notice. I went to Iceland solo with them and had the best group!
Anonymous
Agreed on the tour group! My mom’s done 4-5 trips with OAT (Overseas Adventure Travel) and has been super happy.
Anon ideas
I am soon to be in the same boat, going through a divorce.
Some easy ways to travel: try a day trip
Try an overnight trip near you
Next step, for a few days, ask a friend for her most recent itinerary from a long weekend
Consider joining a travel group through a travel agent or alumni club or something – they do all the planning, you show up and make new friends, if you want to
Anon
I would not recommend Turkey for a first trip as a solo female. I was there with my spouse and child last month and on the few occasions I stepped out alone the harassment was intense. I’m very widely traveled in Europe (including eastern Europe) and have also done some travel in southeast Asia and Africa, so this isn’t a case of me having no travel experience in non-western countries. Japan, Copenhagen, Spain or Italy (especially the northern half) would all be great. I’ll put in a plug for Mallorca – it has a bit of a rep as a package holiday destination for middle class Brits, but we visited in July a couple years ago and I really loved it (and it wasn’t as hot as I expected, due to the ocean breezes). Plus you’re in and out of the water so much the heat doesn’t really matter.
Anon
When you say harassment, what do you mean exactly?
Anon
A lot of staring, crude comments and gestures, which happened even when my husband was present, but the worst incident was when I went out solo and a man followed me home and kept grabbing my arm. I had to go into and out of half a dozen shops and literally hide behind other people to lose him. It was pretty uncomfortable and made me very glad I wasn’t solo for the whole trip.
To be fair this was in Istanbul, and I know bigger cities in general are more prone to this (I know I get catcalled in NYC more than in suburban areas) but based on my experience it’s really not a place I’d recommend for a woman on her first solo trip. Spain, Copenhagen, northern Italy and Japan (I’ve been to all of them) would be much “easier.”
Anonymous
You can do it! Be kind to yourself and make things a little bit easier by not setting your sights on The Best Trip Ever.
If I were in your situation, I would look at the options for direct flights from your nearest or favourite airport. Are there direct flight from any of your chosen destinations? If so, that makes everything a little bit more easy.
Do you have status with an airline? Start there. Same for a hotel – unless you specifically want quirky or boutique, go for easy, with a known chain like NH (good for Italy), Radisson or Clarion (Copenhagen) and book through their homepage.
How active are you looking to be? What’s your heat tolerance?
If you want to do a lot of sight seeing and being active, know that July is a very hot month in Italy, Spain or Turkey. If you want to read on the beach, wander through an old town and have a cocktail and dinner in the evening, Italy, Spain or Turkey would all be great.
Copenhagen is lot more temperate in July. You do not need 8 days there, but it’s easy to combine with a day trip to Malmo, or a short plane ride for a night in Oslo or Stockholm if you feel more energetic during your stay. Japan is super interesting, and would be a trip to remember.
Europe is generally walkable, so bring good shoes. When you’re there, maybe join a guided walking tour – the other people in the tour will also be tourists and likely to chat a little. You really don’t need to plan beyond airfare and hotel.
People will speak good English, be willing to help and used to tourists. This is very doable.
Senior Attorney
Day trip to Malmo is fantastic. We booked a private guide through Viator and had a great time.
Anonymous
Early July is . . . only 2 weeks away? Honestly, I wouldn’t do any of the trips you’ve listed in that time frame, if you’re the one doing the travel planning. Instead, contact a travel agent and have them plan for you, or find a tour to join. Personally, I’d join a tour. I have no problem traveling by myself, and am really good at spending time by myself, and even for me, 8 days alone in a foreign country would be entirely too much for me.
CK
If you want to be inspired, join the Facebook group Solo in Style: Women over 50 Traveling Solo and Loving It. There’s a lot of encouragement from experienced travelers to women traveling solo for the first time. Women posting about recovering from divorces, losing their spouses, etc and finding themselves by traveling. Women who are scared to travel alone but doing it any way. A friend of mine recommended this group to me and I love reading the posts there. Inspiring and uplifting! Your fear is your brain’s desire for familiarity and safety holding you back. Moving forward with this trip will give you confidence and help you on your healing journey. There are so many posts on this FB group about women feeling fear, traveling alone for the first time and feeling empowered. Although not the same, I went on a tour of France as a solo traveler after the ending of a significant relationship. I was nervous since I was not traveling with a friend or partner and it was wonderful! The group gave me an opportunity to share the experience with others but I loved having my privacy at the end of the day. You can do this for yourself by booking tours on Viator.
Go for it! You can do it and you’ll be so glad you did!
Anonymous
Early July is next week! Buy a plane ticket to whichever of Barcelona, Madrid, Rome, or Milan is easiest. Plan from there. Stop dithering and don’t rush into Japan or turkey on a week’s notice.
Anon
+1
Anon
Early July is next week. Plan a domestic trip.
Of Counsel
I am in my 50s and have travelled by myself (sometimes at the last minute) quite a few times. Here are my thoughts:
(1) Given your time line, Turkey is not great because you need a visa. Any of the other countries you mention would be great for a last minute trip.
(2) How do you feel about heat? Any of those places except Copenhagen will be quite warm in July.
(3) Where are you coming from? For an 8 day trip I would prioritize destinations you can get to with AT MOST one connection. Nonstop is even better.
(4) In your shoes and with your lack of travel experience, I would go with Italy or Spain. They are really easy countries to navigate for tourists. Most people you will encounter speak at least some English. You can read the signs. Exactly where depends on whether you are a museum/historical sites/history person or a beautiful countryside/beach person.
(5) It would be worth looking at a few tour companies to see if they have last minute deals but I would not count on it.
Come back and tell us where you are coming from and what interests you about the countries you identified and I can help more. Also, have you considered the UK or Ireland?
Anon
Americans don’t need a visa for Turkey anymore. They recently ended that requirement.
Anon
https://www.travelandleisure.com/turkey-visa-requirements-us-travelers-8423496
Also I just went and didn’t have a visa.
Of Counsel
Ooh nice! Thanks for the correction. When I went it was last minute and I had to go to LA to get my visa processed quickly enough, but that was pre-pandemic.
As a side note, I did not encounter any issues being harassed in Istanbul but obviously everyone’s experience is different.
Anecdata
You can do it! Think of this as an experiment/prototype of many awesome, exciting, interesting, refreshing trips you’re going to take in the future – wherever you go, you’re going to learn a lot about what YOU like and dislike about traveling
Practical advice: if not using a travel agent, pick Spain or Italy. Can’t pick? Look up flights to Rome, Milan, Madrid & just book whichever works for your dates and has the shortest flight time from your home. Book a hotel. Order the Rough Guide to Italy/Spain from Amazon w/overnight delivery. You can flip through it on the plane :). Truly, that is all the planning you /have/ to do – don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good!
I hope you have a fantastic time!
Meredith
Good on you for taking this step. Of all the places you are thinking of I think Italy is the easiest to navigate with no second language and little planning. I love Copenhagen (despite the $) but whilst a lot of people speak English, it’s not necessarily as geared to tourists as some other parts of Europe. That can be great if you are feeling adventurous but tough if you aren’t. That’s also a great length of time to pop on a tour of Ireland and I do think particularly the coast is good for the soul.
Anon
I think major tourist cities in Italy like Rome and Venice are reasonably easy to navigate, although I’m not sure I’d go as far as “easier than Copenhagen” which I think is very easy for Engilsh-speaking tourists, but rural Italy can be quite challenging without any Italian.
Senior Attorney
+1
Meredith
Fair enough, people have different experiences. However given this board skews US, some common conveniences that the OP might be used to like UberEats etc don’t run in Denmark which although probably a social good, is a genuine consideration if you are travelling alone and last moment, maybe not in the greatest headspace and find yourself overwhelmed.
Anon
Do they run in any Euro city? I’m American but have never gotten food delivery in Europe. It honestly never occurred to me it was an option!
Anonymous
You can get food delivery in Europe, including Denmark
Just Eat, Foodora etc.
Anon
It’s not on your list, but since other places in Europe are, I would suggest London. It’s the easiest of easy to get around, it’s charming and everyone speaks English. It’s also easier to do a lot of solo stuff because there’s no language barrier. You can go get last minute theater tickets, have high tea, stay in a nice hotel. There’s lots to see and do and it’s also great if you want to hang out in a cafe with a book. And you can go to bookstores! It’s probably the hardest to mess up, easiest as a solo traveler place to go. FWIW, I LOVE a solo trip. I’m married now but I still often extend work trips by a few days to explore a new place myself. Eat at the bar of any restaurant and it’s amazing how much fun you’ll have meeting random people.
Anon
Agreed, London is very easy and great for solo travelers.
Beat Down (OP)
Thank you so much to all and each of you for sharing your thoughts, experiences, and support. This is the kind of advice and encouragement I hoped for. You are a wonderful and amazing group!
Roxie
No one said Ireland??
I’d fly to Dublin and hop on an easy bus to Galway and spend several days there, renting a car and driving down and around though Kilkenny and Killarney.
English speaking, smaller cities and easier to navigate, lots of greenery and small towns, nice people, truly a joy. Go have fun!
Anonymous
The UK would not be the cheapest but comfortable if you’re nervous. If you feel a little more adventurous, most of the destinations would be easy to manage even if you don’t speak the language. If you don’t want to arrange a bunch of things, stay at a very nice hotel and explore the area around it. You’re not obligated to see everything or anything just because you go to a new place. Loss is incredibly hard so do things you love.
Lexi
Consider a using an agent who can make it easier for you. Also, what about a small tour? A day tour or a small tour for the whole trip.
RiskedCredit
I too highly recommend Copenhagen. London is great too but this time of year its a lot of events that people leave central London.
For me, my goal once I’ve sorted out my ex husband is to take a trip to Bali. I need a break but I’m looking at next summer when I will go to Greece or Croatia and the following December when I plan to go to Bali.
Anonymous
When I was in a similar situation I went on a trip run by Martin Randall Travel, with some trepidation. It was marvellous. The right mixture of interest, small group, and some personal down time. Look them up on the web.
Anonymous
Camino de Santigo (St James path) is the answer if you are grieving does not matter the reason. Book with one of the companies that organize everything for you: accomodation, transpotation of your lugace etc.
This one is quite reputable: https://santiagoways.com/en/
(I would no recommend to anyone going alone Copehange, pretty but boring to death)
Annie Q
You are NOT past your prime! I lost my husband of 29 years in 2018, so I have some idea of how you feel. You’re amazing for wanting to travel.
You just need to break the planning process down into bite-sized steps. Here are my steps to planning a one week trip.
1. Pick a country and two cities, or two cities that are close even if they’re in different countries. Or even just one city if it’s an amazing place and you don’t like moving around.
2. Book flights. Go to Expedia or Travelocity or Priceline to see prices, but book with the airline so that if/when things go wrong, you’ll get decent service.
3. Book your hotels. I book with booking.com so that my reservations are all in one app and to read the reviews. Read the reviews carefully.
4. Go to rome2rio.com to see how best to get from one city to the other. If a train is best, book it right away even if people say it’s not necessary — I have regretted listening to that advice. In Europe and South America (maybe others by now), there’s a long-haul version of Uber called Daytrip.com whose drivers will drive you from one city to another.
5. Book a walking tour for the first day in each city to get oriented. Pricey but always good — viator.com. Much less pricey but more variable in quality — guruwalk.com. Or Klook, or any of many others but only book tours that have a lot of good reviews.
6. Make a list of the top 10 things you want to see in each city. Find them on Google or Apple Maps so you can see everything in one section of the city at the same time. Consider other tours from Viator.com Guruwalk.com (or Klook or any of the many others.
7. Do a Google search for each city and read some blogs. Bloggers can have great tips and ideas that the guidebooks might not have.
8. Buy a guidebook for each city if you like guidebooks.
9. I don’t usually book restaurants before I get there, unless there’s a great restaurant I really want to visit.
10. Print out all your reservations on actual paper. Print a copy of your passport. Put everything in a folder. This is all just in case.
Buon viaggio!
Annie Q
Also, never leave your hotel room with all your cash and all your credit cards. Leave some in the safe in your room.
Anonymous
i did the thing and went for a blood draw this morning after hydrating really really well! (i’ve had high creatine levels the past 2 blood draws so doc said to hydrate.) now i’m so tired though ha.
Anonymous
You’re tired from a blood test?
Anon
Go eat a donut or drink a margarita or something and get off the internet.
Anon
Not the OP but even a very simple, small quantity blood draw wears me out for half a day. My blood pressure plummets (usually to around 65/5) in response to being stuck, and it takes quite some time to normalize after. My doctor described it as my body overreacts and thinks I am bleeding out, so it cuts flow to all but the necessities. I cannot donate blood because of this, and have to plan to just chill without driving myself home or really needing to be awake for at least four hours after any bloodwork.
Anon
I read about people who react like this and am always just wowed. I have a chronic illness and am on a medication that requires monthly blood draws, plus there are all the other blood draws my docs want at various times In July, due to a unusal set of events, I have 4 blood draws scheduled, most of them will be 5 to 6 vials.
How do you handle medical requests for blood draws, do you just ask to not have them? And I’m not doubting your reaction, one of my sisters faints with every blood draw, so I definitely know it can happen.
Peloton
I only have this when pregnant, but they run a bigger needle gauge on me so the blood flows faster for multi-vial draws. I won’t pass out/vomit if it’s an under five minute draw but will if it’s like 15 minutes, so they just get it done fast. They also always have a cot in a back room where they send us woozy girls to lay down if we need it, and they bring apple juice and snacks. I also eat a full meal right before going in, and I only go in when I’m not already dizzy (there are good days and bad days) and when I know there won’t be a wait.
I decline the GTT because there is no way I can do two hours of blood draws on an empty stomach without passing out. I tried with my first and just couldn’t do it. My OB lets me do a food log and finger sticks for a week instead, which is not an issue at all for my body.
Anon
I literally described what I do for my blood draws (including the monthly tests I had to have for several years to check liver function based on a medication I had to take): I make sure I don’t need to drive myself, either by getting a ride or by going to a lab I can walk from, and then plan to do nothing strenuous after. Sometimes this means I just block my morning and do mindless catch up filing, and if it is a late afternoon draw I will go home and go to bed early. It’s never really been a huge deal, just normal for me. I have never actually fainted, just get panicked reactions from any new staff when they see my blood pressure readings.
Anon
Oh, for me, they have to use a butterfly and the draw takes FOREVER. Large gauge needles don’t work because my blood pressure is so low that my veins practically disappear. I don’t go lay down on a cot in the back room, I’m not woozy, not nauseous or vomiting, just very tired. I hydrate well before hand and make sure to eat, but food usually doesn’t help (rather, it sits like a lump until my blood pressure normalizes a few hours later).
Anonymous
Yeah, the just have a margarita poster should know one of my family members faints at blood draws.
Anon
I’ve developed a vasovagal response from blood draws and shots. I usually don’t faint, but it is not something I have control over even after working on it. Compression garments and being hydrated can help a little to moderate the blood pressure drop.
I’ve always had health issues, but my philosophy was that willpower can always compensate. Fainting is an unpleasant reminder that willpower has its limits!
Anon
I was replying to the snotty person who was all over the place on Friday afternoon.
NaoNao
Eh, I get it–whatever the OP is getting tests for can be very scary and going to the doctor can be a big adrenaline rush and dump–I’ve left offices slightly shaky and wanting a nap just due to the whole…medical thing even if it’s routine.
anon
yay! i did two unpleasant health-related things this week and feel good about it. gotta celebrate adulting wins.
Anon
Waiting for an x ray right now. Doing the thing!
Anon
I returned clothes that I had bought from three different clothing stores today – went and did the thing!
It’s not as bad as it sounds, just 4 pieces of clothing total, but it had been lingering for a while. One Fedex dropoff and store dropoffs.
Samantha
I am in a mid-career professional in a different field but I have been entrusted with managing a big project which impacts my department. There is a lot of scoping, figuring out the responsibilities of different teams, goalsetting, sequencing different steps, identifying roadblocks and so on.
What’s a good easy template I can use to keep track of the project? I prefer Excel (I use it for everything) but am open to something else that works better if it’s not much effort. My work uses MS Office Suite if that’s relevant, and I’d prefer not to install something new.
Anon B
What are the periodicals or newspapers for well-researched article sources these days? I subscribe to the Journal, WaPo, NYT, FT and occasionally check out Harper’s, the New Yorker, etc. but the so many stories feel click-baity… I’m willing to pay for it- where is the interesting, well-researched journalism or long-form writing happening these days? I guess I’m looking for Heather Cox Richardson-level pieces on events globally, the economy, fashion, science, and such. Happy to cobble these together from multiple sources, but I’d prefer to avoid wading through a morass of “why does your house smell like mildew” and “the laws of men’s socks” among the more involved writing.
Peloton
Economist and the Atlantic (although the latter definitely suffers from clickbaitiness, but less than some others)
JTM
I subscribe to newsletter that compiled the best long form articles from the previous week. It’s called The Sunday Long Read. I go through it on Sunday while I’m having my coffee, pull out the pieces that look interesting, and read them over the course of the week.
Wardrobe Oxygen also does a good roundup on Saturdays with good article links.
Anon
What would you wear to a Broadway show at 7pm in NY? This will be my first show. Can I wear shorts? Or should I wear a dress? Not sure if people dress up
Anon
You will see everything. I’m old school and still dress up for the theater, it’s not the movies. I hate when people wear athleisure and god forbid shorts to things like the theater, nice restaurants, etc. I mean you can, they won’t kick you out or anything, but have a little respect for the venue and the experience.
Cat
people wear all sorts of clothes. personally I wouldn’t wear shorts because (1) that’s just really casual, and (2) the fabric of the seat coverings can be itchy.
Temps inside can be unpredictable (cold or roasting) so I prefer layers. in this case a sundress & wrap would be my pick.
Anonymous
I just went to an evening show on Broadway. Most people were wearing jeans or day dresses. There was very little of what I would consider “going-out” clothing. I wore a black sundress with a jean jacket and felt that I had nailed the level of formality.
Anon
I wouldn’t wear shorts mainly because the theaters can be chilly but also it is a little on the casual side, especially for an evening show. Jeans are fine, as are sundresses.
Runcible Spoon
I suggest trousers or a non-mini dress, and not shorts — you don’t want the skin of your thighs to be touching the seats for itch and sticky reasons. Short sleeves on top, but bring a cover-up of some sort — pashmina, huge square scarf, cardigan, jean jacket, etc. Enjoy!
Anon.
People in New York going to the theatre are moslty tourists so they aren’t going to be black tie or cocktail wear. On the other hand, shorts, tees, sloppy jeans and athliesure are just so disrespectful of the actors! Put on a sundress at least. My son wore chinos and a polo with dockers to Hamilton last year in NY. It wasn’t that hat or an imposition on him to wear real clothes.
Anonymous
Favorite women’s exercise/health magazine?
(Shape? Women’s Health?
Anon
Prevention in magazine form. But I mostly don’t subscribe to any magazines.
Anon
Does anyone use hydration enchancers in powder form (to add to water)? If so, which ones? I’m trying to up my hydration but am having issues with straight water all the time. Would like to flavor up at least one of my bottles to make it a little more fun.
Anon
True Lemon
Anon
I just slice up a cucumber or lemon and toss it in my water bottle
Peloton
Liquid IV at like a quarter to half strength of whatever the recommended balance is.
Anon
LMNT