Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Pleated Cotton Skirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The styling on this H&M skirt looks a little more beach-y than office-y, but I think a 100% cotton skirt would be a great business casual option for summer Fridays. Swap out the bikini top pictured for a twinset or a button-up blouse and you’ll be ready for work.
Opacity is always a concern with white clothing, so this might be an opportunity to grab a slip from the back of your closet if you’ve got one.
The skirt is $44.99 at H&M and comes in sizes XXS-XXL.
Sales of note for 4/17:
- Nordstrom – Beauty savings event, up to 25% off – nice price on Black Honey
- Ann Taylor – Cyber Spring! 50% off everything + free shipping
- Boden – 25% off everything (thru Sun, then 15% off)
- Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide — we have and love these sateen sheets
- Evereve – 1000+ items on sale, including lots from Alex Mill, Michael Stars, Sanctuary, Rails, Xirena, and Z-Supply
- Express – $29 dresses
- J.Crew – 30% off all dresses
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything, and extra 50% off clearance
- Lands' End – 50% off full price styles and 60% off all clearance and sale – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
- Loft – Friends & Family event, 50% off entire purchase + free shipping
- Macy's – 25% off already reduced prices + 15% off beauty & fragrance
- M.M.LaFleur – Spring Sale Event – Buy More, save more! 10% off $250+, 15% off $500+, 20% off $750+, 25% off $1000+ (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off if you find any exclusions.)
- Sephora – Spring sale! 20%, 15%, or 10% off depending on your membership tier; ends 4/20. Here's everything I recommend in the sale!
- Talbots – Spring sale! 40% off + extra 15% off all markdowns
- TOCCIN – Use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!
- Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!
Would you do this? I’m a lawyer and I’ve had my own criminal defense practice for six years. My husband is a big law partner. We have two kids, ages 7 and 10. Our usual set up is that my work is generally pretty flexible, I am careful about not taking on too many cases so that I can do most of the after school parenting, sick days, etc. I have been very busy the past few years and it has been stressful. It occurred to me that basically all of my current cases will be wrapping up (sentencings) by early June. Should I plan to just take the summer off instead of taking on any new cases now?
The idea of not having to juggle childcare and to just hang with my kids sounds appealing, but I’m reluctant to actually do that for a few reasons. I’m worried it might just lead to the end of my practice completely. I’m worried I will be bored. I’m also worried my husband will think I’m boring / not contributing to the family. I’m also worried about how other lawyers will perceive me and think that I’m not a serious attorney that they would refer cases to.
Money is not a concern. We live in a low cost of living area and are basically FIRE but not acting on that yet.
what does your pipeline look like? if you take referrals, do you think those referrals will dry up after turning down the work? could you turn down work completely for a month, then start ramping up again (slowly) after that point?
to me it sounds like a dream … just make sure the work is there after you are done.
+1. I would love to have the summer off.
How flexible are the summer camps around you? How flexible can your schedule be with hearings and trials?
Why would you announce to anyone (except for your husband) what you are doing?
My inclination is to take on a reduced case load. Refer cases out, and don’t tell people why. You have been slammed recently, so everyone knows you have plenty of work. Enroll the kids in camps. Pull them out early if you have the afternoon off, or don’t send them every single day.
I think my hesitancy around this is that while it is amazing to have flexibility, I personally struggle with it sometimes because I have these nagging feelings of “I should be working” and the idea of just shutting it down for the summer and fully engaging with home and kids is appealing. And sometimes a case that seems simple turns into a lot more and I don’t want to end up scrambling.
I think I might need to sit down and really think through what my goals are.
I’m wondering if you are defaulting to the other extreme, even if it’s not what you want, because you aren’t on an even keel with your work. You might find those feelings resurfacing again over the summer, albeit in a different form.
sounds like this summer off could be an insightful practice run for actual retirement from your job, and could help you figure out a lot of things without having to make that forever change.
As long as taking a step back doesn’t dry up your referral pipeline when you’re ready to ramp back up, then absolutely take this time off! My kids are similarly aged and it would be a dream to have a summer with them and slow everything down for a bit.
What do your normal sources of work look like and how frequent? The only downside I see here is if you have a small group of referral-generators and, with you turning everything down, they find a new go-to. Is something in between an option, where you take only a couple of cases for the summer, to keep your leads “warm”?
I wouldn’t announce to the community what you’re doing… just quietly do it.
Exactly. There are so many reasons why you might defer clients that are referred to you.
If one of your referring sources asks about availability, you can say that it’s temporary for a few weeks, and can proactively communicate once you’re at your usual capacity again.
But I wouldn’t communicate that to everyone.
A summer is just a few weeks.
At those ages a lot of kids want to go to camp and be with their friends. I’m not sure it would be fun for them or you to be home all summer. I do think if you could plan on a lighter load so you can do fun stuff together in the late afternoons, that would be really nice.
IDK if your criminal defense work is paying clients (like white collar crime, etc. with paying clients who want to stay out of jail) or indigent defense where you are just getting referrals. If the former, that work could really dry up but do cases come in on the regular? Could you do lunches with those referral sources and treat your summer sabatical as its own big case that will wrap up by August / September? I feel that summers in court are slow other than for first appearances, discovery, motions practice, and pleas. No one is seating a jury then if at all possible. If you do indigent defense work, IMO that work is never going away. There will always be poor people and they will always need a seasoned lawyer (especially one who doesn’t need to make money and can actually service them well). So IDK. If you can afford the time off, I’d do that. I’d just keep your staff on the payroll and maybe get a continuance if anything big rolls in that you’d otherwise want.
If you are taking appointed cases that work will always be there, but how easy it is to dip in and out will depend on the assignment system.
I’m skeptical that this would lead to the end of your practice unless you want it to. Try it. This is a huge perk of your set up. If you don’t like the impact on your business you don’t have to do it next year.
I feel like I’ve worked with a lot of male professionals too who take time off to travel or do the vacation house or whatever. You only have so many summers with your kids (plus to travel while in good health) (plus see grandparents while in good health and compus mentis) so if money isn’t a concern I’d chance it. If you’re sitting in the office twiddling your thumbs you’re going to regret it.
Is there any amazing case that could drop in your lap or something else that would be amazingly professionally fulfilling?
2+2 is not equaling 4 here. The summer is like 10 weeks. That’s an extended vacation not a death knell. I’d do this in a heartbeat. Just don’t make some big announcement to your referral network, you can just be too busy at the moment or have a conflict for anything that might come in right now.
Agree.
This! Go for it.
The work question and the husband questions are separate.
A few weeks over the summer does not seem to warrant this level of concern about not contributing to the household, to be honest.
100%! You just let your referral sources know the plan. If work dries up, you can seek appointments with the conflict wheel for a while, especially if money is not an issue. Sounds fabulous.
Eh, I disagree on styling this skirt for the office. I actually really like it for “play” and if it were more “just below knee” midi would go for it… but this is close to maxi, and voluminous, and would do nothing but annoy me as it got caught in my desk chair wheels.
Yeah, I would feel a bit sister wife wearing this to the office. A midi length would be better.
Has anyone been to Palm Springs the week between Christmas and New Year’s? I’m hoping for weather that is pleasant to be outside in, but like compared to NY. So jeans and a sweatshirt would be fine. Don’t need pool weather. Am I in the right weather zone?
we’ve looked into that same trip and decided it wasn’t warm enough for us to be happy – daytime highs pleasant for exploring but too cold at night for our desire to have dinners outside.
I feel like South Florida would work; Charleston can be really iffy. If you can see the weather a few days out and book something last minute, it can be delightful (or awful). Florida for the win here.
The weather in the desert can be hit or miss at that time of the year, though it will definitely be more pleasant than NY. Chances are you will be fine in jeans and a sweatshirt during the day. Nights will be cold.
yes. and yes that’s about right. we played golf but definitely a sweatshirt and probably more like a light weight jacket.
Note that it can rain in SoCal anytime from ~Dec – March, even though it’s the desert. And it’s not that warm–sixties daytime, maybe seventies. If you’re coming from, say, Canada, it will seem warm. If you’re hoping for HOT, it’s not that.
Oh no I def do not want hot!
Just a vent, not looking for advice – but sometimes it’s really hard to be married to someone who doesn’t really know how to be happy.
I can relate to this, and this is something we covered extensively and not really successfully in couples’ therapy. At the end of the day, I can’t make him be happy, and he would have to do some significant individual work unpacking why he doesn’t know how/feel like he deserves to live a life that excites him or makes him feel content. I think there may be some under-treated depression at play here too, but all I can do is encourage him to vary his treatment. It’s a very powerless feeling and can lead to me feeling like I have to run this happy home on my own from an emotional standpoint.
Sing it, sister.
I’m sorry. Nothing else to add to that; it sucks.
Like never? Not in small bites (a cookie, that first sip of martini or cool lemonade on a hot day?), not ever? Would he be open to a happiness challenge à la Gretchen Rubin?
OP here and not like that in this case – he can enjoy the small moments (thank the lord). It’s more things like assuming that every life decision needs to be hyper-analyzed through the most negative lens, assuming that we need to defend against the worst outcome at all times. Or things like choosing to engage on a very stressful, not-time-sensitive task right before bedtime and then lie awake stressing about it. You don’t actually have to live like that.
Has he done individual therapy yet? Sounds like he could really benefit.
My father was like this, and there were true reasons. He had had horrible things happen in his life. Sometimes bad things really happen to people that change your outlook on life.
Also, if your husband had a parent who was like this, it can be extremely difficult to remove that imprint.
I feel your pain. I have been married for over 25 years and my husband has no idea how to be happy.
I kinda can’t imagine how you married him in the first place? Didn’t that drive you bonkers when dating?
Not OP, but people change over time.
I feel like this is either a fundamental personality trait (and therefore present from the get go) or depression (and therefore at least potentially treatable, though I recognize it’s not always that simple).
It is definitely not that simple. And personalities are not 100% fixed over time.
Mental illness causes permanent changes to the brain that often cannot be treated or undone.
I feel like you have neither knowledge nor personal experience in this matter.
I know plenty of people in both categories and have far too much experience with the second, both first hand and with close friends and family members. I honestly don’t know anyone who spent most of their life happy and then stopped being able to be happy in the absence of a mental health condition . I’m not anon at 10:44, just pointing out that if he hasn’t always been like this, then there’s a good chance this is depression talking.
Lots of people get married after knowing someone for 2-3 years, which in the grand scheme of things is a relatively short time. Imagine also a situation where you marry someone in your 20s when you’re still undergoing significant changes in who you are as a person and how you approach the world and how you manage your mental health. Lots of people undergo stress and upheaval and are grinding pretty hard during that phase of life – it’s easy to imagine a scenario where you believe (and I’m sure OP’s partner believed this too) that it’ll “get better” or you can “finally relax” or you’ll finally feel fulfilled or feel satisfied when you defend your thesis, graduate from med school, get your first job, get financially stable, get a better job, get out of private practice, get pregnant, whatever. And then you’ve been married for 10 years or 20 years and start to realize that maybe the unhappiness wasn’t solely attributable to the circumstances.
i think the “love hormones” wear off about 2-3 years also. https://www.verywellmind.com/three-year-relationship-problem-8663224
OP here and we were together for almost 10 years before getting married. I love him and think he’s a wonderful person – but depression is a b*tch, and living in Trump’s America (for some very specific reasons) isn’t helping. He’s in treatment.
Gotcha. I hear you OP, this is really tough. I struggled with depression for much of my life and honestly wondered if I was just one of those people who could never be happy. But somehow (meds, therapy, changes I made, and TBH my partner), I no longer feel that way. And in fact, I am pleasantly surprised to look around and realize that I’m actually happy most of the time now. I hope things get better for your husband. Have hope.
Counseling too, not just meds?
I think he was so happy to be with me at the beginning that it overshadowed his more natural/ingrained default state. Not because I’m something special per se, but because his family isn’t happy either and I was refreshing and exciting.
It’s very hard to change when you grow up in that negative environment. Your parents can figuratively beat that out of you, if you ever had it.
A lot of times opposites attract even when there’s a flip side to every coin. People are really different!
Not a helpful or even particularly kind response.
My ex used to say things like “when we move” or “once I get this new job” then everything will be good. Well, he finished college, we moved for my law school and he got a good job with a nice school district near by. Then it was “when you finish school.” I dumped him before I finished school. No future thing will make an unhappy person, happy.
Wearing a simple Farm Rio blouse today and it makes me so happy.
I love Farm Rio.
This is kind of a fashion question. Mustaches and fire departments — how / why did this get so common? I just saw the picture of new 2026 recruits to our city’s fire department. These are young guys; so many mustaches! It’s like the 70s are back! My cousin is joining the fire department elsewhere and she says that it’s the same there (rural area). Is it job-related (maybe they can’t have beards with the masks so mustaches are all that’s allowed)? IDK if hair / grooming habits are is as identifiable with other vocations, but this has gotten so noticeable since my cousin joined (all my SM feeds are fire related now it seems).
Beards are hot in general but I wonder if they can’t have those because it affects the way any facial protection sits on their face? I know my brother shaves if he’s anticipating wanting to wear a mask like in a plane. (He’s just covid cautious though.)
Mustaches and mullets are in right now among the young guys in my rural community across all vocations. That stupid broccoli cut hasn’t hit here yet.
Hahaha, I live in a campus town and know exactly what you refer to.
My college daughter is not happy about this trend.
Heh, the broccoli cut. They look a lot like all the moms in the 1980s.
it has nothing to do with fire departments and everything to do with being a current trend for 20-something dudes in general. I am sooooo glad it wasn’t the thing when I was that age because I find it to be such a turn-off.
I for one am amused that the youts are all trying to look like Mike Ditka. Or 1970s adult film actors.
Mike Ditka > broccoli boy cuts
I don’t think these guys have put two and two together about the impact of grooming on their ability to get dates.
Yes it’s the trend right now. My husband (mid-30s not 20s) took Covid as an opportunity to play around with his facial hair and had settled on a mustache by 2021 maybe? He wasn’t trying to be trendy–like I think it was lowkey a gag for his friend group–but it ended up really suiting his face, so I guess he became a trendsetter by accident. It’s been funny to watch all the young guys start looking more and more like my husband.
FWIW, his dad and uncles were all initially appalled but have come around.
Before I met him, DBF had a beard/mustache combo for years. For whatever reason, he shaved it off and updated his match.com profile with a new pic. I saw it and messaged him the next week.
We’ve been together 17 years. I always jokingly remind him that if he hadn’t shaved it off that weekend, I would have scrolled on by and we would never have met!
No beards are allowed due to breathing equipment. Firefighters of all generations sport mustaches. My firefighter husband thankfully does not.
Yup. Always been common since no beards allowed due to mask/equipment fits.
This happens in the military too for the same reason.
And for unknown reasons, mustaches are now “in” among young guys.
It has been a tradition for a long time in fire departments – I think I heard it originated as a way to limit smoke inhalation back in the day. So, I also did a quick Google on this for fun…check out this NYT article on this very topic…from 1986! https://www.nytimes.com/1986/06/21/nyregion/the-fireman-s-mustache-badge-of-the-brotherhood.html
Yup. My bonus son has a stache and just graduated from the fire department. They all looked like boys trying to look more grown with the silly facial caterpillars/
I have a mostly good marriage and am having trouble relating to friends who are divorcing. It seems like more than one of my friends’ divorces follows the same pattern.
First a heartfelt conversation about how awful the marriage has been and they are breaking up. It feels shocking because I thought they were happy. Then I, of course am supportive, and sympathetic. I’m careful not to disparage the soon to be ex husband but I dive in to support her. Checking in, buying lunch and dinner so there’s lots of girl time. Making sure her birthday feels special. Then, a few months later the reveal: there is a new guy and he’s perfect. Oh and by the way he’s been around for a while. Since well before the divorce talk. But you won’t judge right?
I don’t judge I just…I guess I also feel betrayed? Like they get my buy in with the initial conversation about how they’re lonely and it’s hard but were also kind of misleading me. Does anyone else get stuck in this pattern? Like I don’t want to outright ask whether a friend has been cheating on her husband at these initial conversations but it seems like it’s extremely likely. I’m post reveal in the latest one and absolutely ready to just pull back and feeling kind of duped. This is the third time this has happened to me. Am I just crazy naive?
Huh, divorce is just completely uncommon in my circles so I haven’t seen this. I don’t have a single friend who’s divorced outside my 20s. In my 50s now, big city, highly educated professional set. But what you described isn’t really shocking.
Same, but a lot of people had a starter marriage right out of college that didn’t work (and has nofallout / drama / kids) but are on marriage #2 for 15-20 years. BUT I hear that there is another wave when the kids go off to college, so hoping that that’s not the case with my circle.
Totally. I understand all of this is happening out in the world but I really just don’t encounter it.
IDK but my sense is that when a couple split up, things are generally not great and haven’t been for a while. The driving force is often (always) one person has started leaning out AND towards someone else. Otherwise, things could stay meh forever (and maybe get better). I feel that it’s usually been the guy leaning (wives in my divorcing cohort are often very busy with littles and have no time for anything) and the tell I’ve been seeing is who starts working out, out of the blue, is the leaner.
But yeah, I hear you on feeling a bit used and mislead.
What I see a lot is men who treat their wives as the one who had a baby, so they don’t get why their wife is mad that they do a lot of the childcare (starting with they are the ones nursing the baby, so they get stuck as the default parent early) when the guy wants to watch sportsball all weekend and not, say, watch a kid while she runs to the store. Those men lean out to someone who doesn’t nag so often and their ex-wives and kids deserve better.
I also see a lot of marriages break up over $. Like one person spends to the point where there are big problems.
But what I hate is when the cheater and affair partner run around on Insta or whatever that they are such soulmates once the divorce is filed. Um, yeah. Doubly-so when they get Jesus involved (like there is a branch of the newly religious that is almost “Jesus for cheaters” (like she may have broken up two marriages but posts “My heart is with the LORD!!!”). People be crazy. I think they forget how cheating really hurts people.
I think sometimes people who decided they were going to leave don’t actually leave until they have something lined up, so that leaving won’t mean being alone.
I don’t think it’s weird to have an honest reaction to what looks like infidelity – however, I can see scenarios where this might not be as bad as it looks. Maybe she has been effectively divorced and casually dating for a while before talking to you. And, I know for me, I tend to keep any issues in my relationship pretty private, so these reveals could seem huge.
But also – there are plenty of people that have a hard time being single, and will jump to the next person quickly.
Your feelings seem normal, and it’s OK to not feel good about infidelity, but I would evaluate each situation on a case-by-case basis and not make assumptions, especially if someone is important to you.
It’s funny you say this because I had the opposite reaction. IME when someone gets into a relationship shortly after separating, it always turns out that person was cheating or having an emotional affair. The person denies it at first but eventually the truth comes out.
+1. Have seen it several times. They have a new boo when they break up with the OG spouse.
I’m curious how old you are/how close you are to them because I think this pattern is more common among my mom’s friends/acquaintances (late 50s/early 60s). In those cases, they separate first for a while and then get divorced 6-12 months later, and often either don’t tell other people about the separation (in case they change their mind) or my mom wasn’t in their super tight inner circle who knew about the separation. The new man/woman is often genuinely someone who was met during the separation period.
I’m in my 40s. This friend has kids my kids age. So does the affair partner. I believe her that it was a bad marriage, but it’s definitely not as if they were functionally broken up. There is a lot of deception going on here. To the point where I’m getting frantic texts abouy the secrets I’m supposed to be keeping. I’m trying not to judge but I could never imagine doing this to my husband.
Oh wow, I think you are well within all sane bounds to tell her that she is adult enough to know there is a difference between supportive friendship and covert ops coverups. If she has secrets she wants kept, she should stop texting about them (that’s discoverable in a messy divorce, isn’t it?), and she should just plain stop telling them to you or anyone.
Different context, but +1M to this. I do not want anyone’s secrets at this point in my life. I’m carrying enough mental weight as it is.
I’ve had a few friends like this – often the divorce is the last step in a drawn out splitting up. Sometimes they were already functionally split up and even still there will still be a period of grieving their old future, regardless of there being someone new. In many respects, I treat the elephant in the room of potential overlap the same as a friend who I know is pregnant but hasn’t told me yet. I don’t ask the ultimate question (even when I see them heating up deli meat) and when they are ready to share they will.
+1.
I have a friend who cheated on her husband with an old boyfriend. It was definitely not the last step in a drawn-out splitting up. She didn’t want to divorce, and her life is now much harder (she went from being a SAHM to earning minimum wage and living in government-subsidized housing). Sometimes affairs are just gigantic mistakes that people thought they could get away with, not part of a broader intention to leave.
Yes, I’ve had this happen to me too, but my friend was the husband who was cheated on. He endured marital counseling, did everything he could to try to preserve the marriage, dealt with skepticism from others that he must have done something wrong for her to be leaving, and the whole time his wife was secretly building a relationship with another man. He thought it was just an emotional affair that went nowhere, but later the pair ended up getting married after the divorce, and then it was all clear. How horrible would you feel if you were wracking your brain trying to understand why your marriage was failing, and your wife was never honest that she was moving on to someone else?
This can be really painful. I have male friends and am against the idea that married women can’t keep these friendships, so I always feel like I’m taking it a little personally when someone has a “guy friend” as an affair partner and it all comes out later!
The guy friend trope is there for a reason. I would be surprised if at least one of your male friends was not “hopeful”…
I think that there is a lot emotional affairs that start before the physical cheating. And I feel that in many of these friendships, one party is often hopeful that the lines will blur.
[FWIW, there is a great older Law & Order, from the Briscoe & Curtis era, about this — a women with a first husband killed rock climbing who then marries his friend, who is later shot.]
I’m wondering how long you have known these women, where you know them from, and how old they are.
In my experience, many couples are very quiet about the problems behind the scenes. Happy couples often put us in an awful double bind: we aren’t supposed to air the dirty laundry, but then it’s a “surprise” and a “shock” when our “seemingly happy” marriages collapse.
So… don’t do that.
But three women whom you are close friends with were probably cheating on their husbands? That sounds like a friend group issue, because it isn’t that common. I’m wondering about the dynamics of that group.
Yeah. It’s actually 2 confirmed in the same friend group. I guess it’s possible the one friend kind of followed the other friend’s path at least in the way she told us? The first friend actually behaved in a way that still gives me chills but that was almost a decade ago. It all worked out for her even if her ex and her new partners ex were kind destroyed by it. So maybe the second friend is only seeing upsides. It’s definitely weighing on me.
I really feel like being a good friend makes me a terrible person in these situations. It’s not like I’m going to tell her husband but she’s constantly asking for support of the new relationship, in the form of keeping secrets and assuaging guilt, because I supported the divorce and I just see those two as different.
Op. Also just to clarify; there is no probably. There’s no doubt on the timelines once they came clean. They were cheating in that they were not divorced, separated or under any kind of agreement. Whether the marriage was “functionally over” I don’t know. I can see that definitely being the justification for my friends but I don’t the men they married would agree.
I’ve seen this pattern like 3x also… and I always think less of the cheater. I get that some relationships become more like roommates but you still owe that person the dignity of ending it before pursuing something else. (And in cases with emotional affairs I think part of what you owe your partner is to cut the affair partner out of your life. If it’s true love they’ll still be there.)
Apparently women cheat more than men. This doesn’t surprise me.
Bra recommendations needed! I am a 32A/B and ordinarily wear an underwire push-up to create a normal-looking shape. I look downright weird in a sports bra because the compression flattens me out and then my ribcage sticks out farther than my chest. I need to find some sort of bra that gives me a normal shape and will stay in place for dancing. I tried wearing my normal push-up, but it slid around too much. I have not had luck with the brand Pepper. Fellow IBTC members, help!
Brooks Crossback 2.0 sports bra. Provides some support and some shape.
Not a part of the IBTC, but maybe adding something like Cakes to your sports bra would help add some volume, and won’t slide around?
I highly recommend going to a private bra person for a formal fitting. I am also in the IBTC and ended up with a Natori bra (not push up) that is beyond wonderful. I went with black because $$ for me and I wanted it to look good for a long time. Look in your area for one, they are generally small women owned shops.
Fellow 32A here. Bras never fit well, were always too loose around the torso, bra straps falling down, and gaping in the cup. I went on Reddit’s A Bra That Fits and found I’m actually a 28D and got some recommendations for styles that fit my shape (fuller on the bottom of the cup, shallow at the top). I live in Natori Feathers and Natori Cherry Blossom. Now I usually forget I’m wearing a bra, it’s that comfortable. Side note, brands like Pepper that market to smaller sizes don’t typically carry my true size and try to stuff me into the same A and AA cups. Good luck!
I came here to suggest a smaller band size and a larger cup size!
It might not be the problem – she could genuinely be a 32A – but is worth checking out.
(I’m a 32DDD and the stores always try to shove me into a 34 or 36 band size.)
Victoria’s Secret used to have encasement style sports bras that didn’t flatten you out. Haven’t shopped there in a while but it’s worth checking out.
Check out the A Bra That Fits subreddit. Do the measurements, read the wiki, and don’t discount it if it tells you a wildly different size. Even if it does confirm your current size, there are great recs for sources that work for your particular size and shape.
Transactional lawyer here curious about people’s experiences in-house and what to ask about in an interview to get a sense of workflow/expectations.
I’m a senior associate at an Amlaw 50ish firm on a slightly reduced hours schedule. Because of the work and the way my group functions I don’t worry much about hours. I have a lot of latitude to run my own deals and do work on my timeline. I bring in a lot of my own work and am told I will make (income) partner this year.
I log off by 4pm to pick up my kid from school 90% of the time and I’m able to go to school performances and most field trips. I also log back in after bedtime 90% of the time and start work before my household wakes up probably once every two weeks. A lot of my clients are three hours ahead of me.
I like my practice, group, and working at a firm but an in house opportunity has arisen in an organization that does work in an area that I’m very passionate about. This is a “dream job” that doesn’t come up very often. Everyone says in-house means better work life balance but what I’m wondering is…does it really?
It seems like the billable hour model actually allows for a lot of flexibility and I’m nervous that even though the in-house role would likely mean less hours overall I won’t have the same flexibility for kid/family things. I have one kid in lower elementary and not planning on any more. So I’m wondering how others have thought about/experienced this as they have moved through their careers.
Of course every organization is different, so also looking for advice about how to ask about flexibility, etc. without coming off as not wanting to work.
This depends a lot on the company, of course… but for me, what you’ve described is super normal in-house, but (1) people also get, and take, PTO days without having to worry about making up the hours, and (2) you don’t have the burden of client development work on top of your work-work.
I think it really depends on the organization, your direct manager, and your role. And to some extent, what you personally value. If you love grinding it out but just want to be able to do it at home or from your mountain house, whenever works best for you, in-house is likely not the best move. You are correct that for all its faults, the billable hour model does allow for flexibility and my sense is that in general firms are much more flexible than in-house environments. My company is in-office, meeting heavy, and values face time. That said, no one is physically at the office very late, people leave for kid things and appointments routinely. As long as the work was getting done and it was okay with your direct manager, I could see an arrangement like yours working. In general, the WLB is so much better. No weekend work. PTO and sick leave. I no longer feel anxious or guilty for not billing. I no longer have to choose between getting ahead or catching up on hours v. anything else I want to do. The mental noise about productivity for productivity’s sake is gone. There is simply not the expectation of constant availability and constant overwork that there is in a law firm. That said, with the commute I’m still spending 45-50+ hours/week on my job. I think it’s very fair to ask about flexibility, and in-office requirements straight up. Orgs vary wildly and it’s important to make sure expectations are aligned. Everyone knows better WLB is a selling point for in-house, so I don’t think that by talking about it people will assume you don’t want to work so long as there’s nothing else about your answers that give that impression.
Former big law now in-house, with multiple friends doing the same. On balance, in-house is better than big law. Assuming the department is properly staffed, how much better depends on (i) how good you are at setting boundaries (work will consume as much time as you give it to consume); (ii) how high the position is (higher = more work but more $$$) (iii) also how many time zones you are working in. On the last, if you are working across Europe, Asia and North America – the times for calls are just going to suck.
If you’ve managed to set workable boundaries in Big Law on your time, you should be able to do the same inhouse. The biggest difference I notice is that people respect my boundaries more – having to cancel something outside work is meet with profuse apologies, not an expectation.
Interview questions that get to the work life balance are asking your interviewees when the last time they had to work all weekend was and what were the circumstances. Also questions about typical work days. When you are post interview, negotiating the offer, I would be upfront with asking about if the 4pm break will be possible and say it is part of your current working conditions.
Does anyone have a bench or chair in the bedroom that is good for draping half-worn clothes? I know the answer is to have less clothes, but until that day, I need something that looks nice in the bedroom and doesn’t drop clothes like my current chair that is all wood with sloped arms.
A treadmill, Peloton, or Nordic Track is not attractive, but highly functional for this purpose.
lol
Ha!
The answer is hooks inside your closet. Separate from your clean wardrobe but not strewn about your bedroom.
I have a thrifted wood piano bench that is long enough for my folded up dog-walking clothes and to sit on for putting on shoes.
There are chair versions of a gentleman’s butler if that is what you want.
If you have room, get a portable clothing rack. They make cute ones and it bridges the gap between back in the clean closet and what you’re wearing for the week.
I have a coatrack in a corner of my room behind the closet door that is perfect for this.
Arlo Swivel Chair – comes in a ton of colors and reliably fits about 5 loads of laundry lasagna before it starts to destabilize.
I prefer hooks on the wall so my seating can be sat in without smushing my clothing.
I use a pretty coat rack for this. I use hangers on it for anything I’m worried about getting misshapen from the prongs.
I just saw a chair for this! The Yetch Laundry Chair, haha: https://yetch.studio/products/laundry-chair
This is a product that does not need to exist.
I love hearing updates from posters – anyone have any updates to share on issues they posted about here?
I am the college mom who wanted to clean out her daughter’s messy room. I ended up sorting all the junk in her closet and drawers into “trash,” “my guess is you want to donate this,” and “my guess is you want to keep this.” I threw out the trash, including many treasures such as dried-up markers and petrified chewing gum, bagged the “donate?” pile, and put the “keep?” items away neatly. She came home for spring break and was happy and relieved that I had gotten the purging process started for her. She spent less than an hour going through the “keep” and “donate” items, took a carload of unwanted things to Goodwill, and deep-cleaned her room before she went back to school.
She was not traumatized, as several posters suggested she would be.
Love this!
Wow, that is a great outcome! Wish I could hire you to come help my partner with his apartment.