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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Crinkled Jersey Crewneck Top

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A woman wearing a black crew neck top and black skirt with black sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Years ago, Eileen Fisher made silk T-shirts that were among my most-worn blouses. They all met unfortunate ends with spills or other damage, and I’ve been looking for replacements ever since.

These crinkled jersey tops are the closest contenders I’ve seen so far. I love an elbow-length sleeve, and the textured fabric elevates it just enough to be a perfect work top. It’s only available in two colors for now, but I’m hoping that there will be more options soon.

The top is $128 at Eileen Fisher and comes in sizes XXS-3X. 

Looking for more tops for work? As of 2025, some of our favorite dressy tops for work outfits include ones from smaller brands like M.M.LaFleur, Modern Citizen, The Fold, Tuckernuck, Melloday, and Saint & Sofia, as well as bigger brands like Boden and CeCe. Some great fancier sleeveless tops include options from Loveappella, this wrap top, and this high-necked option from Amazon.

dressy top for work outfits from MMLF; it is a pale pink and has a draped waist detail
M.M.LaFleur
A woman wearing a white top and dark blue jeans
Boden
dressy top for work outfits - a cropped T-shirt with a wrap at the waist
Modern Citizen
A woman wearing a green long sleeve knit top
The Fold (exact)

Sales of note for 5/23/25:

279 Comments

  1. My almost 7 year old tends to have a bit of an addictive personality. She has fallen in love with reading, but she was up reading at 4:15am. She started a new book last night and i guess was eager to finish it. Fortunately she didn’t wake me (i can see it on our camera), but she is also a high sleep needs kid who is a pain in the neck to deal with when tired. On the one hand, reading is better than waking me up, but she should be trying to go back to sleep! Not reading for 2+ hours. Is she old enough that this is where the natural consequences are sufficient?

    1. A 7 year old still needs help and support. Yes, natural consequences but also tools for avoiding the problem next time.

      When my 13 year old was binge reading the new hunger games book I asked if she was okay to have it in her room or if I needed to put it in mine to avoid her reading all night and she asked me to put it in my room then got it at 6am and read for an hour before school and finished the next night. Teaching them strategies to avoid unhealthy behaviours is a key part of parenting. Kids know that if I want to avoid night binges on my own books, they get stored in the kitchen.

      1. What dork child or adult is soooo into reading that they need to hide books from themselves??

        1. Hi, it’s me, I’m that dork.
          My question is about a camera in a kid’s bedroom. Is that a thing now? Aren’t the kids weirded out? Are they really that habituated to constant surveillance?

          1. Yes, this! How is this acceptable, absent a health condition or some other situation of concern.

          3. I missed the camera piece. That’s not okay for a 7 year old unless there are health issues.

          4. Camera is not normal at all. My 7 year old would absolutely die of embarrassment about a camera in her room. She acts fairly young for her age and is firmly still in kid not tween territory in terms of interests and behavior, but she has sleepovers and talks with her friends about things she doesn’t want us to know about and a camera feels like a huge invasion of privacy to me. My husband insisted on keeping the baby monitor until age 5 or so (not for the camera, but so he could hear her when she woke up if he was hanging out in the basement) and while I understood his point about convenience, even 5 felt uncomfortably old to me to have a monitoring device in a kid’s room. Baby monitors are for babies and toddlers, not school age kids!

            I think at this age, since kids can read a clock, you can just set bright line rules. “If it’s before X time, you have to try to go back to sleep. If it’s after X time but before Y time, you can read quietly in bed, but can’t leave the room. After Y time you can leave the room.” Etc.
            Reading is great (and not dorky!), but sleep is very important too.

          5. Me too! If a book is gripping, it’s hard. As a teenager I routinely stayed very late to read.

        2. uh, ok. sorry you don’t enjoy reading. The power of a fantastic book is quite an experience.

          To the OP – I loved reading in bed when I woke up in the morning in elementary school. Naturally, around 6am. Maybe you can just set a rule that if it’s before X time, she needs to keep the light off and rest or sleep?

          And curious about the camera situation; once kids start school I would have thought they were firmly out of the “baby monitor” years!

        3. Is this a real question? Or are you being rude to make yourself feel cooler?

          I have always loved reading and stayed up into the night to get in “just one more chapter.” As an adult, I can regulate more.

        4. What kind of adult talks like this? And if you have never discovered the joy of reading a really good book, that’s sad for you.

        6. Booktok is literally covered in memes about people struggling with this.

          Not hard to tell you never went to the bookstore on the first day of a new release when you were a kid.

          3. I was in my early 20s when Harry Potter 7 came out. I took a day off work to read it when my pre-ordered copy arrived in the mail.

        8. I shared a room with my little sister, so I used to read in the closet with a flashlight in the middle of the night! I am that dork.

        9. Loads of us actually. Turns out being smart and curious and a good reader as a child directly correlates to being a high achiever as an adult

        11. lol, would you attack someone for binging a Netflix show until the middle of the night? Some books are just as good…

        12. I am almost 41 and I still stay up way, way too late if I’m in the middle of a good book. So does my 11 year old.

          Maybe you need to read better books :)

        13. Sorry you didn’t learn how to read until you were 10. And sorry about the continued consequences this has likely had on your education, career, and earning potential. But rock on with your cooler-than-thou self.

          1. There really shouldn’t be continued consequences on education, career, and earning potential of not knowing how to read until you’re ten (!).

    2. Congratulations on raising a reader, and encourage it as much as you can!

      When I was that age, and my kids were that age the rule was no reading between X pm and Y am, and if any there was going to be trouble with that, the adult gets the book at bedtime. Flashlights were a hot commodity for reading under the covers when I was a kid, but my mom just let me read until the batteries or bulb burned out and then they weren’t replaced until overnight camp the next summer. My kids definitely understood that we were doing this for their benefit, and that they needed sleep, and my teen will voluntarily hand me a book he thinks is going to be too tempting.

      This is not a sign of an addictive personality!

    3. Staying up late because you can’t put a book down is a joy. Just let it go this time.

      1. +1 I enjoyed the occasional late night binge-read around this age.

        Presuming there are no big events the next day (tryouts, exams, etc.), I would let your kid sort this out themselves. If it becomes a habit, this may be bedtime procrastination and maybe your kid needs more control over their daily schedule.

      2. Yesss its one of my core memories. Don’t ruin this for her with camera and timers and all that. It’s not addictive. It’s good to enjoy things and relish in life.

      3. +1 I did this as a kid, even up into that 3 or 4 am hour that means trouble in the morning. I never once regretted it and wish I had it in me to do that more often these days. I still sometimes binge read for 12 hours in a day when the book is good and the mood strikes, and I’m an otherwise functional adult.

    4. I don’t really see a problem I’ve always been a reader and stayed up past when I was supposed to if I was really into a book, but I was also a kid (and an adult) who really needed sleep and sleep needs always eventually prevailed and I’d just fall asleep. I’ve certainly never felt the need to hide books from myself, though maybe it helps that I’m a fast enough reader that I usually just finish the book before it gets too late!. Every now and then, I do stay up too late reading, and I’m a little tired the next day, but it’s not the end of the world. I just go to bed a little earlier the next night. That’s a pretty normal lesson to learn. If you hear that she’s falling asleep in all her classes, then maybe you need to handle it differently, but otherwise these things tend to work themselves out. And don’t spy on her, that’s creepy!

    5. Are you actually reviewing camera footage of your child’s bedroom every morning?!?

    6. Apologies all – i meant to post on the moms page. the camera has been in there since she was an infant (like it was a baby monitor), and she has a twin and they share a room so it was helpful to see which kid it was. i almost never look at it/kind of forgot we had it, until my phone just did some update and now i get notifications. will discuss taking that out with the girls this evening.

      1. Good plan. I think the camera is a huge invasion, personally. It’s developmentally appropriate for them not to be watched all the time. Even if you’re not actually watching it (though you apparently do sometimes…), the fact that it’s there is so unsettling.

        1. If you must, put it in the hallway. You can see when they open the door or whatever but definitely not in their room unless there is a specific health concern.

        3. Good grief, I can always count on this place for massive overreactions. It doesn’t sound like it’s a habit to check the camera, it’s just there and hasn’t been removed.

          1. Ahh okay! Then let’s have your mom install a camera in your bedroom, even if she’s not going to check it all the time. But apparently she will sometimes.

          2. Complete overreaction, which I understand because I too was a really good mom before I had kids. FWIW, I didn’t use a baby monitor for more than a couple weeks with my first kid (didn’t bother at all with my second) because we live in a very small house. My teenager is an a-hole, but that’s because it’s junior year, not because I didn’t assiduously use a baby monitor until the precise day that it was a violation of her civil rights.

      2. Yes, the presence of a camera is even more concerning if the twins are sharing that room, as they really need to be able to converse in private in their own room.

    7. The camera is not okay. Kids need privacy, too.

      I read your comment as “she woke up during the night, read for a couple of hours and went back to bed”. If so, that is a perfect example of excellent sleep hygiene and good instincts on her part.

      Lying in bed and not being able to sleep is not a good thing, much better to do something else for a while.

      If you meant that she never went to sleet and read continuously, that will probably self-correct.

      One thing to think about, though, is whether she needs more alone time during the evening than she’s currently getting. Like adults, kids sometimes regulate their introverted or alone time by being awake when at night or early in the morning.

    8. I’m an elementary school librarian.

      I wonder if she might do well with some sort of a bedtime routine related to reading. Perhaps the two of you read together and then when you reach a logical stopping point, the book goes away until tomorrow.

      At 6/7, they are going to need support around those routines. They don’t quite have the logical consequences part of the brain yet.

      1. We did this with my kid for YEARS. Snack and reading at bedtime from baby/toddlerhood until at least mid-elementary school, if not longer.

      2. I agree with this. With my 9 year old, we still do bedtime stories, even picture books from the library – there are a lot of wholesome and wonderfully illustrated books for all ages, and the picture book quality ensures a calming transition into the sleeping hours. TBH, some chapter books are a bit too “exciting” for my kid.

        IMO, parents do have a responsibility to teach and monitor good sleep hygiene. The occasional staying up late is certainly fine and my kid has definitely learned that they pays for it the next day when they’re cranky and tired.

        If screens were involved, I’d be even more strict.

    9. My son’s friend was such a reader at that age that he would get called into the principal’s office for reading instead of doing any classork. When he got in big trouble his parents took away his “reading privileges.” Of course, it just made him want to read more.

      1. I also regularly got in trouble for reading during class. I don’t think my parents cared *too* much.

      2. My first grader’s class has a lot of dedicated individual reading time. Way more than I remember having in elementary school. Which is great.

    10. The only issue I see is your daughter is being trained for a police state. Is there some point when she will be allowed privacy? I am just appalled.

    11. If she stayed up all night, I’d tell her not to do that again. But if she woke up on her own, well, some people just wake up early. I am a dedicated night owl but around her age, I would wake up on my own between 4 and 5 and do things like read, make myself breakfast, watch TV. I just went to sleep a bit earlier.

    12. I would also add that she may not be challenged in school. I am a huge reader who read a lot late into the night but I still managed all of my school activities. My family is also readers though so it wasn’t really a problem.

  2. I would like to hire an accountability coach/buddy. Probably focused around billable hour targets, maybe meet every month for 15-20 min via zoom for a while, and then hopefully transition to once a quarter. Helpful if they are familiar with billable hour structures. Looking for a reasonable cost – would prefer to hire a stranger instead of asking a friend. Any suggestions?

    1. I think my very basic therapist would do this for me. Wouldn’t be familiar with billable hours but you can explain it. Therapist is covered by insurance so it works.

        1. I don’t even have great insurance and my therapist is. There’s a difference between a therapist billing insurance for you and being covered by insurance and maybe having to submit for reimbursement yourself.

        2. This is part of the ACA – therapy is now covered alongside other medical services, not as its own thing.

    2. I’m a trained coach, and could easily do this with you — and even get in a bit of coaching. Not much, but a tiny bit. I’d probably charge you for a 3/4 or full coaching session, because even though the time is short, I’d have to do the same background/admin around the meeting. So my suggestion would be to look for an actual coach, or–if they genuinely need to understand billables in order to guide the check-in well— someone who coaches lawyers.

      1. This. I am a trained, credentialled coach and former attorney, who spends a lot of time coaching attorneys (on other things, but I understand billables).

        We’re out there! Post a burner email and you may get some leads.

    3. If you post here once a month with a regular name and a little context, we’ll be your accountability partners for free!

  3. I want to buy a solid gold initial necklace for my young teen’s upcoming middle school graduation. Any store recommendations? I want something with enough substance to last a long time, but budget is about $300. Not interested in plated gold as those only last a year or two before tarnishing (she wears necklaces 24-7, including the pool).

    3. Are you looking for a hanging charm or an offset initial built into a chain? Maya Brenner fits into your budget. I’ve been wearing mine daily for five years, taking it off only to clean occasionally, and it’s held up well!

      1. Ooh, this looks promising – thank you!

        I realize $300 is not an ample budget. Baby Gold has solid gold necklaces for about $160 but they look extremely dainty – I was hoping to get something less dainty if I double the price.

        I will also pass along the advice/request not to wear jewelry in the pool.

    4. I don’t think there is any jewelry in the world that will hold up to regular wear in a chlorinated pool. Teach her to take her jewelry off before swimming. 13 is plenty old enough to learn the lesson that if someone is buying you something worth $300 you need to take care of it.

    5. This does not fit the budget, but Devon Woodhill has some gorgeous solid gold letter charms that were around $500 before the price of gold exploded.

    6. I love recommending the Cachet Collection from JeanJean Vintage – they are pendants cast from Victorian seals, and they are beautiful and unique! You can pick a design/sentiment that reflects your friend/loved one. Have gotten them for friends. In gold, they are a bit more than you budget, but not over the top:
      https://jeanjeanvintage.com/collections/cachet-collection

      1. I don’t know if they have letter charms specifically, but Costco is pretty solid on gold prices. Or there are plated/shiny-but-not-gold brands aimed at durability – Hey Harper maybe? But yeah, even something you leave on showering won’t stand up to constant chlorine

  4. Can anyone recommend a real estate agent in the Boston area? We’re first-time homebuyers looking to purchase in Dedham, Norwood, West Roxbury, Roslindale, or Waltham. Budget is $600-750K.

    1. Can you buy a house for that near Boston?! Wow that seems inexpensive. And like I need to move.

      1. Can you purchase a condo or perhaps a townhouse for that much in those neighborhoods, yes. A stand alone house, not likely.

      2. Not sure about the other neighborhoods but that budget in Waltham does get you into the range of some smaller single family homes. If you want anything big or beautifully remodeled it’s more like $1M though.

    2. Hi neighbor! My personal advice would be to narrow to the town you really want and then use a realtor who has a multi-decade tenure in that town and does ~75% + of their work there. We just bought in one of the W towns slightly west of your list and we were only able to get into the market because we had a realtor who specialized in the one town we were looking at. We were first time home buyers with a tight budget and she helped us primarily look at (and ultimately buy) off market opportunities so we could avoid a bidding war. She told us which streets flooded in bad weather, which ones were used as a cut through to busier roads, where adjacent land with trees was conservation land owned by the town vs. a vacant lot that was buildable, etc. The town knowledge was so helpful and the connections probably saved us a couple hundred thousand dollars (based off what we paid for our house vs. what similar comps and Zillow said ours was worth). We found interviewing realtors really helpful to find someone with the right vibe as us, so don’t skip that part. Obviously lots of people get houses without going the route we did, but it made an inherently stressful process so much easier. Sorry I can’t pass on a specific name for your area, but wishing you good luck!

      1. Agree on finding a realtor who specializes in the very specific suburb. When I was looking around Boston, we explored each town/suburb and went to open houses in that area. We found our realtor by attending an open house where she was the seller’s agent, and we liked interacting with her, the approach, etc.

    3. Ryan Wilson’s Wilson Group (Keller Williams) office has helped me buy two homes and sell one. Great team, all realtors are good, and they know the area very well. Cannot say anything about how their office has handled the NAR commission landscape (I have no idea)

    4. Meghan Russell at Engel & Volkers. I think she even grew up in the general area where you are looking, so should know it really well.

    7. Definitely narrow your focus. We have lived in Wayland for over a decade. I can probably get you some resources if you are looking in Waltham/Belmont but that won’t be the same person for Roslindale and that also won’t be the same for Norwood/dedham.

      Do you want a house or a condo? A yard? Do you need a train to Boston? How family friendly does your spot need to be?

      Our first house ended up being in Quincy but we looked at West Roxbury and Roslindale too. They were very different!!

  5. Sephora’s Sun Safety Kit is live for sale today. It’s only available for purchase on their app today but it’ll be on their website tomorrow.

    1. Is someone from Sephora’s influencer team hanging out here? This kit is being mentioned all the time now.

      2. I asked for the PSA when it is available since I don’t regularly look at Sephora but I’m interested in this product.

      3. OP – I’m just a regular person who saw it was highly recommended last year on this board so I bought one and have been keeping an eye out this year. Thought I’d share since Sephora has been a little weird with releasing it this year.
        I have a 5 year old that is always asking to wear make-up and this kit with fun little samples has been a nice way to scratch that itch while also getting some spf on her face in the summer.

      4. Multiple people have asked about it here. I didn’t ask but I’m interested!

    2. thanks very much! But could companies please stop pushing separate apps for everything…

      1. My theory is that they use apps to avoid paying on referral links and on-line ads.

      2. They know that if you actually install their app, set up an account, etc etc, you’re more likely to buy in the future, so they incentive that. They’re not genuinely confused/I promise their design team knows about app-haters.

    3. I bought it last year based on a rec from this site. It was nice to have some travel sizes, although some were so tiny I only got two face applications out of them. If you have a sunscreen you like and wear eeligiously, you are money ahead to buy or make travel sizes of that brand. But if you don’t have one, or want sunscreen everywhere, it was nice to throw the bottles in my golf bag/car/purse and test new ones out. I burn very easily so I figured any sunscreen, even if it got hot in my car, is better than zero. I bought a few full-size this spring from a brand I like so I will probably skip it this year.

      1. We use for camping or weekend trips, so good for that (me and two teen girls, one who worships sephora and otherwise wouldn’t care for sunscreen, so it’s a nice gateway drug for her).

    4. I was underwhelmed with last year’s kit – I’ve been spoiled by Japanese sunscreens. By comparison everything smelled funny and felt overly goopy.

      1. Which one do you use? I keep hearing about this but don’t know where to get it.

    5. Anyone know if the Vacay All Day set is likely to be restocked this year? It would be the perfect gift for my niece. I know Kohls Sephora has one too but their version doesn’t have the Glossier lip balm.

    6. I bought it in store and they had to go in the back and get it for me. My favorite Japanese sunscreen is discontinued so I’ll try anything now! FWIW, I have mature dry skin and rosacea, and so far the Dr Dennis Gross and the Biossance I found super drying and slightly irritating, especially the latter.

      If anyone has found an acceptable substitute for the Rohto Mentholatum – Skin Aqua UV Super Moisture Milk SPF 50+ PA++++ I would love to know!

      1. My skin is combination, but also older with rosacea, so I have some of the same concerns. I love Neogen Day-Light Airy Sunscreen, and the Skin 1004 Water Fit Sun serum. I feel like the Purito Wonder Releaf Centella Daily Sun lotion is a bit shiny on me, so it may be good for you. Same with Skin Aqua Super Moisture UV Gel – the gold label.

    7. Thanks, I get one of these every year; it’s great for actually following the reapply after 4 hours or after a swim instructions.

        1. Sample sizes that fit in my bag. And don’t lecture me about needing to use drug store travel containers instead. Those suckers leak.

        2. depends on what is regular sunscreen for you. All I knew growing up was the basic drugstore kind, that has that sunscreen smell and is quite sticky. So something I’d be willing to put on only if I’m at the beach or hiking.
          They keep saying here that you should wear it every day. I gave Neutrogena and Beach bum a try but didn’t like them enough. A sunscreen that you don’t wear is of course ineffective. This kit has smaller sizes of pricier options, so made it easier to find one that I really like without having to shell out hundreds. Sometimes I even reapply now.

  6. Do woven wool twill dresses exist anymore (other than on Posh)? I’d love to go into a store and try things on or at least to know I can return (and I’m open to uses once I know my size in a brand and can confirm that nothing has been altered, which I’ve been burned on before).

    1. This seems like a hard time of year to find wool dresses, especially if you are shopping in person. Maybe tropical wool suiting if you have a good selection of well-stocked stores near you.

      Twill refers specifically to the diagonal weave structure of the fabric (like the fabric denim jeans are made with). It creates a more dense fabric than plain weave, although it can have better drape. Herringbone is a subset of twill, where there are subtle stripes made by setting up the loom so the fabric is woven with alternating, offset diagonals. Is twill specifically what you are looking for?

    2. “wool gabardine dress” is the search you should try. There are a few out there, but not a ton.

      1. OP here. Thanks for the term. I just don’t want a knit (I have a loose stomach area that I don’t want fabric clinging to).

        1. Yep, gabardine is a type of woven twill fabric common in tailoring. “Summer weight wool” might also get you some hits. It will give you woven fabrics but not necessarily a twill weave.
          (I’m a fiber dork and a book dork)

    5. If a dress that matches a blazer is ok, I think they just did a roundup of seasonless wool suiting here

  7. I’m looking to purchase more current skirts to wear to work, but I work in a conservative industry (think blazer or dressier cardigan as topper). What kind of skirt would you look for?

      1. Oh, man. I need more crazy print skirts like I need a hole in the head, but… that’s awesome!

    2. I’m seeing a lot of midi skirts, some full and others slip style.

      I personally think the slip style skirts look like they are trying to get away with wearing a nightgown at the office, but I am old and it seems a style that is popular with the intern crowd. It also doesn’t veer nearly so office-inappropriate as some outfits they have otherwise tried to come in wearing.

      1. What tops are they wearing the full skirts with? A blazer doesn’t seem balanced unless the skirt is of a substantial fabric (too much structure on top v. softness on bottom), and a cardigan or lady jacket seems old-lady or costumey. The only top I can see working is a sweater or fitted tee.

        1. Not the OP, but I feel like a lady jacket is the only answer that works with a fuller long skirt. I feel also that they go on in the office or for warmth, but underneath is something simple that you could wear out at lunch or when driving.

          A cropped / “fun” blazer topper might work, but not a full-on blazer styled off of men’s styles.

          I’m also still wearing Senior Attorney’s The Jacket (grey knit boucle short moto jacket), including with skirts.

          2. Also I have a few trucker-style jackets (denim and other fabric) that work well with full skirts. Not necessarily for the office, though.

        3. I’d wearing my fuller skirts with a short sleeved sweater, but a twinset would be cute too. A tucked in tank (in a nicer fabric) with a lady jacket or jean jacket on top would also be cute.

          1. Does Jcrew still sell the oxford shirts that had the bodysuit bottom to keep them neatly tucked in? They would be great under that kind of skirt.

  8. Low-stakes shopping question.

    My monstera plant needs repotting, so I need to find a bigger planter. Would love one that has a drainage hole that I can plug. Any suggestions?

    1. Big planters get so expensive, I usually start at secondhand stores or antique malls/outlets. There’s one “new to you” type store near me that just put out a huge display of planters. I’m sure they’re more expensive than a plastic pot you could get on amazon but probably a lot less expensive than a ceramic pot from a garden store.

    2. Big Lots or similar near you. (New England has Ocean State Job Lot; there used to be the Christmas Tree Stores; various stores with “pottery” in the name). Planters get crazy expensive, crazy fast, so at least check the budget stores first.

    3. costco had ceramic ones! a lot of times i’ll use 2 pots – a pretty pot and then a liner pot that has drainage holes added so I can bottom water. i’ve used a bunch of random things for liner pots, including cool whip containers and cottage cheese containers, but if you’re looking for a bigger size a “grower’s pot” might work – very cheap at lowe’s or home depot.

    4. no specific brand recs but found planters w/ drainage (including large ones) at Burlington last summer that I’m obsessed with. (and my local burlington is normally a d-ump). Home goods also has lots of options this time of year

    5. You can buy them at your local garden center. They probably have better options than big box stores.

    6. Check your local supermarkets, as well. Our local Kroger had a ton of ceramic pots at better prices than the local garden center/Home Depot/Lowe’s…

    7. Veradek planters are great if you like a more modern look. Composite, light weight, reasonable price (and often available at costco). Have holes that you can plug–they come with removable and re-insertable plugs. I have several around the house, inside and out!

  9. Speaking of skirts, about a decade ago I got this (https://www.etsy.com/listing/676570566/funky-jungle-print-maxi-skirt-tigers) hot pink satin skirt with an elastic waist that has turned into a summer work horse for me in recent years. It’s comfy, fun and dressy enough to be worn for a variety of events. Most of the skirts I’m seeing out now have zip waists or are otherwise fuller. This type of skirt might not be trendy any longer, but does anyone know where I could get similar fun and comfy skirts from?

  10. Gut check please.

    In late March I ordered a Theory trench coat (the Oaklane trench) from Neiman Marcus online. It’s a gorgeous coat. I wore it for the first time on our Europe spring break trip in mid-April, and by the end of the first day, it had an area that was pilling on the chest. Note that I was not wearing any sort of bag that would cause pilling – my bag is smooth leather all the way around. The pilled area is not huge, but the concern is that it will continue to pill in other areas and will eventually (quickly probably) look ratty. There are a couple other areas where there’s a tiny loose thread, which is probably the beginning of pilling too.

    The coat was expensive (over $500). Would I be reasonable in asking NM for a refund or replacement?

    2. It’s worth a try. A few years ago, I emailed NM asking if a refund was possible related to poor quality control. I bought Koio sneakers for a trip, and the sneakers squeaked incessantly. I couldn’t believe I spent so much for shoes that announced my arrival into a place. I was able to return.

  11. I have a goal to repaint our antique lamppost in our front yard this summer. We understand from the previous owners of our home that it was imported from England, and I would like to paint it a very nice British racing green. I think I have an idea of what I should do in order to pull this off successfully, but I am a very new DIY-er. Anyone have a good resource to share?

    1. Metal, yes? Wire brush to remove any big flakes of peeling paint. Coarse sanding block to make sure things are smooth. Outdoor spray paint primer followed by outdoor spray paint. Brush-on paint can get tricky on vertical metal, so I’d spray, but you can brush if you’d like. When spraying, practice on some cardboard first – light strokes.

      1. Forgot to tell you to damp rag (or more vigorous cleaning if needed) after sanding before painting. Be sure to let it dry.

    2. I would not experiment on something antique and a key feature of the front of your house. This is the time to hire someone.

      3. Counterpoint: this would be hard to irreversibly mess up. OP just needs to tape off any glass in the lamp, protect nearby surfaces from overspray, and move their vehicles out of the downwind path.

        1. That’s a lot of extra things that can go wrong there, not really making much of a counterpoint!

          1. I swear the commentariat here somehow believes they are genius level intelligent and able to fully understand all nuances of a situation upon first encountering an idea while also being completely inept and incompetent at following basic directions, all at the same time.

    3. My brother learned how to renovate multiple houses by watching youtube videos. I’d look for a couple that seem run by older handymen types.

  12. My late mom sewed, but eventually started buying her wool suits from Talbot’s. I recently found a lightweight camel wool skirt (straight, midi length) that was hers, with a camel double-breasted longer jacket. The quality is amazing, as is the workmanship. IDK how old this is (and I suspect that the cuts would age and frump me up significantly). Help me imagine how to save these from the dust bin / donating. Complicating things: I am a fair-skinned brunette with rosacea, so camel looks horrible on me (she was more olive-skinned).

    1. As a cool-toned fair-skinned brunette, I advise you to give up on the idea of ever wearing camel.

      1. Another cool-toned fair-skinned brunette who is sighing in disappointment. I love camel. It does not love me. An equivalent shade of taupe is so much harder to find.

    2. I’m fair and I love a camel skirt especially in the fall. Deep jewel toned or brown sweater, tall brown boots, that was my jam in the mid-2000s for what I thought was a very grown up look. Seems like that look is back.

      The jacket is harder. I can’t wear beige next to my face, it washes me out. Can you wear scarves? Or turtle necks? Something to break up the beige around your neckline. Pair the jacket with pants instead of the skirt.

    3. The cut of the jacket largely is what it is. But for the skirt, do the side seams need to be narrowed or tapered, to give it a less “frumpifying” look? Does the length work for you or would a shorter length be easier?

    4. As a pale brunette I find camel skirts work as solo pieces with a bold colour shirt. Keeping the camel away from the face is key

    5. Try the jacket over a top in your best color, to see if it can work. I wore taupe, which makes me look deathly ill, with light blue tops back in the day.

  13. PSA that May 11 is mother’s Day, so now is the time to get organized for mailing cards or gifts.

    1. my preschooler’s bday is May 11 and every time we see a sign with the date on it (obviously advertising mothers day), she thinks everyone wants to celebrate her bday. hope she’s not too disappointed when a million flowers dont show up on our doorstep

      1. Aw that’s cute!!
        But I’m sorry for you that your mother’s day likely gets consumed by your kid’s birthday! My birthday is also sometimes on Mother’s Day, and now that I’m a mom I feel bad for my own mom always having her mother’s day celebrations swallowed up by my birthday celebrations.

    2. Additional PSA – teacher appreciation week is next week so make sure you’ve got that on your radar if you have school aged kids in the US.

      1. I’m grateful our PTA plans a bunch of stuff and I don’t have to do anything except donate money. Getting gifts and making cards for each teacher at the holidays is enough me.

        1. I’m fine with the kids writing notes to their teachers but I would kill to just give the PTA a set amount of money and let them handle the gifts. Unfortunately the SAHMs in my school see this as their big crafting opportunity and there are loads of pinterest inspired gifts given to teachers who (imho) would probably rather have a giftcard or cash!

          1. You live in the wrong area. I’m in a Boston suburb and the PTA does exactly this.

            It’s a cash collection and the teachers are treated to stuff they actually want. (Confirmed, my good friend is a teacher in the district). It’s something like a luncheon with a gift card tree where all teachers and staff take one, plus an in school activity run by a couple parent volunteers to generate notes from the kids. The room parent does one gift from the class.

            I like the pooled method because it covers all teachers (eg music, Spanish, art), not just classroom ones.

          2. I’m in the Midwest and it’s exactly like the 1:41 poster described to teacher appreciation week.
            For Christmas, we have to give individual gifts and we do try to cover the specials teachers, the bus driver and some of my kids’ favorite lunchroom supervisors, but I’m sure there are people we miss and we can’t give very much to each person because it’s such a long list of people.

    3. Threadjack: I’m very proud because today is my sister-in-law’s birthday and I actually got a card in the mail last week!!

  14. Help me live out my Anthropologie-clad homesteading fantasy. I (meaning mostly DH but I helped) built raised garden beds for the first time this year. I need at least two things to make this more comfortable for me. I welcome other suggestions!

    A garden stool. I’m thinning out seedlings and the bending over is killing my back (I’m also 7 mos pregnant). The beds are a little over two feet high so I thought that would be easier on the back but alas. Alternatively, I could kneel next to the bed on some kind of pad, but I need help getting up.

    A basket (or two) for harvesting veggies. I’ve seen very utilitarian looking things at the garden store but I’d like to indulge my cute flowy dress pregnant lady moment, too, with some wicker (?) handheld flattish (?) basket. I’ll get DH to cart in anything heavy like squashes and tomatoes. Thanks for any suggestions!

    1. Don’t know if the pregnant part makes a difference, but gardeners with bad backs kneeling instead of bending is a classic. There are mobility aid tools that can help you get up, search for mobility aid standing tool or similar.

      You might enjoy a Korean hand rake tool, and Japanese hatches, there are excellent traditional tools made for kneeling or squatting gardeners.

        1. Highly recommend a garden kneeler like this. Years ago I snagged one for free at a yard sale b/c the owner thought it was ugly. Would gladly pay full price for one today.

          Even if bending and kneeling isn’t a problem, the kneeler saves your pants from getting filthy and prevents things like sappy cottonwood detritus from grinding themselves into your kneecaps.

        3. I have one like this and alternate between kneeling and sitting on it. Get one of the covers for your handle that holds your tools too so you can keep everything nearby.

    2. Gardener’s Supply (gardeners.com) should have some garden stool options. They can be a little slow to ship sometimes. Alternatively, though not cute at all, a turned over five gallon bucket is about the right height/size for a stool.

    3. For the basket, I think the term you want to search for is a “trug” – if you search for wicker trug or garden trug, you’ll see a lot of options.

    4. are you currently thinning out the seedlings from a seated position (or are you standing?)? i keep a cheap folding chair in my garage for things like this. otherwise i’d suggest a kneeler with handles like the others have suggested.

      definitely get a cute gardener’s hat also, my skin never freckled as much as it did when i was pregnant!

      1. I tried both standing and kneeling. I think if I’d started by kneeling then I would’ve had better luck with it, by the time I switched to kneeling my back was already killing me. So my black leaf lettuce is still a tangled clump.

        I appreciate the hat suggestion! I have a variety of floppy pool hats but I definitely could use some garden specific hat recommendations.

    5. Would the beds accommodate a 2 x 6 or 2 x 8 board nailer onto two sides, opposite each other? My beds are lower than yours but I had them made with that modification and it gives me a place to sit and just lean here and there to weed. The boards also provide a handy spot to put a cold drink.

      1. Nailed, not nailer. Also, I endorse Senior Attorney’s recommendation for that specific garden kneeler. I have had one for 20 years and find it very useful.

    6. Just a thought, I’d consider your due date and growing period before investing in a garden. I had a lot of flowers going and had late June babies in Zone 9. We don’t have a sprinkler system and hand watering a relatively small yard still felt like a burden when the baby came. My 2 cents. If you’re fine with everything dying back, knock yourself out. If it would bother you, maybe table this for next year or stick in something very low maintenance.

      1. Fair enough, but it’s already planted at this point. Either the prospect of fresh veggies will inspire me to get some fresh air or DH will need to take over.

  15. Low stakes question – when did you ‘learn’ to clean? With summer coming up I planned to spend some time teaching my young teen/tween how to properly clean with the goal of having them fully take over their bedroom/bathroom cleaning in between cleaners visits.
    Laundry and entry level cooking skills are also on the ‘home economics 101’ agenda with the goal of them knowing how to shop for groceries, budget, do their own laundry, clean their apartments and do minor fixes to homes/cars by 18.

    1. Laundry before I left home, but I don’t think I really learned how to clean a home until I was living on my own and just had to figure it out. I’m constantly amazed at how little my husband knows about cleaning. (But seeing his parents’ homes, I’m not surprised.)

      1. Yea, my husband is also going to be a passive learner for the ‘how to clean’ part. His parents were hoarders and did not have a tidy home so while he’s not messy he’s also not great at cleaning things (the order of operations being dust from the tallest thing down, then vacuum, then mop was news to him). He was also shocked the first time he saw me wash our pillows!

        1. How do you wash pillows without them getting lumpy? And no, drying w a tennis ball does not help. I just sheath the pillows is anti mold and anti bed bug covers and hope they last a few years.

      2. A big motivator for me was that my parents house is very clean and I wanted my apartments to be just as clean. So I can see how if you don’t have that it wouldn’t come up. Honestly I’ve been to friends apartments where I’m like I don’t understand how you live like this.

        Although yes, my end of college apartment was a mess

    2. I didn’t. My mother used to task me with dusting but never taught me about the difference in cleaning products. We were out of pledge so I used windex on wood, which ruined the finish. Instead of teaching me, I was just banned from housework. Which sounds like a big win for a kid but the result is I didn’t learn. And by the time I was old enough to care, I could afford a cleaning service.

      Idk how I’m going to teach my kid things like this. Maybe I’ll pay my cleaning lady extra to show my future children what to do? I applaud your efforts.

    3. Properly clean, like scrub toilets? I didn’t. My family growing up had a cleaning service, then I lived in college/grad school dorms with janitors and then I had my own cleaning service. There was one year in law school where I didn’t live in a dorm and couldn’t afford a cleaning service and my toilets probably just weren’t that clean.
      Vacuuming I started helping around age 7-8 I think, although it’s not really something you have to “learn.” I put away clean laundry from a young age but didn’t learn to operate the machine until my mom showed me shortly before I left for college.
      Cooking I was more interested in, so by mid-elementary school I was helping with that at home. I also took cooking classes at my middle and high school. In 8th grade I think it was required for everyone and then I think I took an elective cooking class in high school.

      1. My parents didn’t teach me how to clean either and I turned out fine. We had a cleaning service every two weeks. They taught me how to do my own laundry in high school when I complained they didn’t do it often enough. As an adult I’ve figured out how to clean between common sense and google. Frankly my bathroom isn’t spotless and I only dust my baseboards when having company, but my apartment is reasonably clean. As soon as we get a house we’re hiring cleaners though. I don’t mind weekly swiffering or using comet on the sink because I see instant results. I hate frequent, preventative cleaning that doesn’t make a visible difference in the moment.

        1. same. my dad was a total neat freak though and so our counters were always spotless, floors swept after dinner. i struggle with this now as a parent a bit because we have a nanny who does some housekeeping tasks while the kids are at school. They are still on the younger side, but I frequently remind them it is not other people’s job to clean up after them and try to involve them in cleaning up after meals, etc.

    4. I taught my kid to clean her bathroom and do her laundry at age 10. She did a much better job at 10 than she did as an older teen.

    5. Before age 10 for most cleaning tasks like vacuuming, sweeping, dusting, and putting things away. Laundry came a little later because ironing is actually dangerous, but by 14 I was responsible for doing the entire household’s laundry. Simple cooking skills like boiling pasta and frying an egg or sausage links were early high school. I’m not sure the home and car repairs is a common goal anymore unless you mean really basic things.

      Things I wish I learned that you should add to your list:
      – how to clean an air fryer
      – how to regrout bathroom tile
      – how to replace a door handle on an interior door
      – how to build a fire in a charcoal grill
      – how to clean mildew off gutters
      – how to check the condition of a roof with asphalt shingles

        1. Here I am at 51 planning to learn the charcoal grill part this summer when I will have my first real full-sized Weber.

        2. I am a fully fledged adult who can paint walls, repair drywall, hang fixtures/curtains, but all of the tasks above are firmly in ‘call the professionals’ territory aside from the air fryer/grill tasks. I CAN clean gutters but after age 40 the risks of getting on a ladder outweight the rewards…

      2. I realize maybe this wasn’t apparent, but I meant that I still don’t know those things in my mid 30s and feel guilty about never learning to do them. It’s reassuring to hear that others think these are hard skills too

    6. honestly never. i learned how to do laundry in middle school and cook basic stuff, but sort of taught myself using google at some point.

      1. Same. If it matters I always helped my parents make easy dinners so just absorbed it and at a certain point in middle school, it was my job to make dinner a few times a night. So I got to figure out timing (when to make the sauce, when to boil the pasta, how to make sure it was ready around 7) by myself.

    7. My mother was a home ec teacher, so I got lessons in cleaning, cooking, sewing, and home repairs my entire childhood. Once I started getting an allowance, I also had required chores, and both increased each year.

      This was a long time ago, but I think by the time I was 13, these were my chores:
      – keep my bedroom clean and vacuumed weekly
      – clean the kids’ bathroom – mirrors, counters, sinks, toilet, put towels in laundry – alternate weeks (trading off with my brother)
      – wash after-dinner dishes twice a week
      – iron pillowcases and napkins alternating weeks with my brother, and iron any of my own clothes which needed ironing

      I also knew how to cook dinner for the family and clean up the kitchen after. I had intermediate sewing skills and had started making some of my own clothes. I knew how to mow the lawn and could do it for extra money.

    8. My parents didn’t explicitly teach me that much stuff, but I learned it by doing chores as a kid or watching them doing it at home or I just figured it out when living on my own later. It’s mostly not that complicated, and if I have a question about something I just google it. A lot of cooking skills I also picked up from friends and roommates or learned from cookbooks and podcasts and recipes online.

    10. I gained the ability to vacuum/do laundry/clean counters/etc. when I was 7-8. I gained the ability to mentally manage cleaning tasks independently when I was an older teenager. Learned how to change a car tire and do an oil change at 15. Grocery shopping, figured that out on my own in college – my mom’s style of shopping and meal planning doesn’t jive with my brain so I had to figure out it myself.

    11. It will always be wild to me that there are grown adults who have never really cleaned their own homes, and that there are half-grown kids who have never helped their parents do the cleaning.

      I was helping my parents wash our windows and dust before I was in school. I knew how to clean the toilet and wipe out the sink and tub by early elementary school. Vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, and shower cleaning followed once I was tall enough to reach and manage the equipment. Cleaning was a whole-family task and we all chipped in.

      Cooking, grocery shopping, budgeting, repairs, all of those were similar. The whole house participated in these activities. I honestly don’t remember a time when I wasn’t capable of making a basic meal (even if just heating a can of soup) or tightening a loose screw myself. My own kids have been raised the same way.

      1. Eh… cleaning, especially bathrooms, is one of the worst parts of life imo and if you can feasibly opt out it makes a lot of sense to me. My parents had a cleaning service on a five figure household income. I had a cleaning service on a five figure household income. It’s not something you have to be a millionaire to afford and it makes life sooo much better.

        1. Even then, what did you do about messes between the cleaning service visits? A kid throws up, someone has a GI issue and a blows up the throne, the dog tracks mud across the carpet, etc.? Did it just wait until the cleaning person came?

          1. Of course you clean up messes. But messes in the first two categories are pretty rare! Mud is different and just needs to be wiped up, not sanitized to oblivion.

        2. “Cleaning is one of the worst parts of life” is quite a statement!! I really don’t great all, so funny to hear that.

    12. I started getting assigned weekend cleaning chores around 8 or 9. My mother did not keep a very clean home and the summer before 8th grade I convinced her to pay me to deep clean our whole house, which she agreed to. I got the house pretty darn clean and made enough to buy myself a bathing suit that summer. I learned laundry around that time. Cooking evolved from about 8 when I was making English muffin pizzas for the family through high school when I was making linguini with clam sauce and then improved when I got an apartment in college as a sophomore (so 18). I don’t have car repair knowledge other than having fixed a couple of flats on the fly in college using the car’s manual. I think it would be a good goal to give your kid all this knowledge before leaving home, for sure. And it is not too much to ask by any means.

    13. Honestly, rather than try to tick off a specific list, I’d focus on teaching good problem solving skills. Then it doesn’t matter what the particular situation is, they’ll be able to figure it out.

    14. My 13yo boy has chores. He cleans his sink and toilet. Cuts grass. Cleans his fish tank. The first few times we’d check after he finished, critique, then have him redo or correct if necessary. I wouldn’t trust him with laundry.

    15. My tweens clean their shared bathroom–they divide up all the parts but it all has to get clean and I double check and make them redo it if it is not clean. This only happened a couple of times and now they are good at it. They do their own laundry, including folding and putting it away. They clean their own rooms. Bathroom, laundry, and rooms have to be done by Sunday afternoon. I don’t micromanage when they do it, but if it is not done they lose their phone (this has never happened haha). They do the dishes each night and take turns either being the one to rinse and wash pots or the one to load the rinsed dishes. They are also responsible for unloading the dishwasher after school and taking out the trash and recycle. Those are their main chores. They have an allowance that we use to teach budgeting–saving, investing, spending. We are going to teach them this summer how to navigate an airport and how to get a taxi/uber. They can both cook simple meals and one is really into baking so has learned a lot more about that and is really good at it!

    16. I was taught a lof cleaning and household skills from my grandma between when I was 8-15, like cleaning floors and baseboards, walls, windows, ceilings, dusting, leather conditioning, oven cleaning, laundry, silver polish, carpet cleaning, weeding, plant care, ironing, sewing, knitting and basic carpentry. It was all fun and part of spening time together, and I got paid for some jobs.

  16. Thanks for the mothers day post!

    Help me find a gift for my mom who has returned every gift she’s every received. She wants a physical gift though, not an experiences/tickets/time/etc

    Late 50s, lives in a NYC suburb, “big job”, likes gardening, yoga, cooking. No grandkids.

    We gave her yoga stuff recently so that’s probs out. Maybe something gardening related? She plants flowers, not fruits/vegetables.

    1. Anything from Terrain is catnip to women who appreciate fancy garden stuff. There is a lovely bricks and mortar location in CT if she feels like a drive?
      Alternately what about a partial CSA share if there is a farm near her?

        1. I live near one of the PA locations and that store is a dream. I could spend every penny I’ve ever earned there.

    2. As noted in the post above, nice pots are expensive, so a good cute flower pot. Independent gardening stores usually have options. (I’m a weirdo who registered for nice planters on my wedding registry, so I may be a bit biased here)

    3. We did BirdBuddy for our fussy to shop for mom’s and they all loved them. I did not think it would be nearly as big of a hit as it was. Apparently spying on birds is scratching all kinds of fun points for them.

    4. If she likes cooking and appreciates nice things, maybe a Le Creuset Dutch oven or similar?

      1. The new floral braisers from Le Creuset are SO cute, they would be a great Mother’s Day gift for a cook.

    5. Has anyone used a plant subscription they liked? Like a houseplant delivery? I’m seeing “Hey Rooted” , “Horti”, and “Plant in the box”?

    6. My mom is the same way. She has found flaws with Voluspa candles and Le Creuset pans, among other things. Contrary to the advice you’ve been given, I just assume she doesn’t care about the gift and finds satisfaction in the process of receiving something and then complaining about it. So my goal is to find a store that this is pattern of behavior is least damaging to and avoid businesses I care about. Target has some nice things that work, so that’s where recent gifts have come from.

      1. We might be sisters… in addition to finding fault with just about anything, my mom also gives terrible gifts. Luckily we’re not big on gifts altogether.

      2. My mother does this, too. She’s shocked that I don’t bother with gifts anymore.

    8. Does she have a drip irrigation setup for her garden? Might be good to help save her time. Drip Depot is the gold standard.

      Alternately — is she into a particular kind of flowers? You might get her a gift card at a place with heirloom chrysanthemums, dahlias, or roses. If you want something more immediate you could get her a gift card to a place that sells plugs for cut flowers, like this site:
      https://gardenclubplants.com/collections/plug-plants

      For dahlias you can get gift cards at Connell’s
      for roses you can get gift cards at Heirloom Roses
      https://rubylovely.com/

    9. My MIL fits this description and loves the AeroGarden we got her years ago. I think they went out of business but you may still be able to purchase them.

    10. I send my mom flowers every year. Sometimes cut flowers, sometimes a planter from the florist if they have a reasonably priced one I think she’ll like. She likes both but she loves the plants; the tulips I gave her 20 years ago have expanded along an entire path in her garden.

  17. For anyone who has gotten an IB diploma (or who has kids in an IB high school):
    1. Is junior year really, spectacularly beyond awful? In terms of volume of what kids describe as busy-work?
    2. Is there any point in even getting an IB diploma if you don’t get it until you are a college freshman?
    We’ve done IB MYP program and it hasn’t been an issues, but a whole bunch of kids at our (very good but gigantic) public high school are consistently waiving red flags at my rising junior (but they went through the program and are waiting them from world class college, so there’s that cutting in the direction of “just tough it out”). The only reason I can see staying in IB (knowing nothing about it really) is that those kids have to be placed in IB classes and can’t be stuck in some weird mix of classes when AP classes fill up or aren’t offered at the right time (some kids luck out and take all APs and get a big GPA bump, but others just get 50% of what they want or can’t get a pre-req, etc.). If it matters, the IB cohort of the school drops year by year, from 80% for freshmen to 20% by senior year (and IDK what % gets the IB diploma, I think it’s not 100% due to testing and other requirements, but it’s >50%). IDK why the school is set up this way but it used to have IB just as a county-wide magnet in addition to zoned kids and now just opts everyone into it and has no magnet program.

    1. It sounds like that is a poorly run IB program. Our program requires 4 teacher references in grade nine year to be accepted and excellence in the pre-IB grade ten year.

      1. I think it’s how a large public school in a large county with large wealth disparities tries to make it an equitable opportunity for all. Kids, even if they aren’t at the handful of IB middle schools, are pushed into it in 9th and if they do nothing, stay there on a set known path that they will commit to offer and staff. It’s like opting people into 401Ks vs making it optional to join. But it is very bumpy and parents (including me) are not familiar with how it *should* look.
        At our city’s Country Day school, few kids bother with it because the parents think that the school overall is solid and they don’t need IB to signal “quality education” the way kids in a dodgy public school do.

        1. In Canada so it may vary but my daughter is also at a large public school (1100) but there definitely is not pressure to allow anyone to do the classes. They specifically require self-motivated students with references.

    2. I did IB 20 years ago. It was very intense and I was an anxious perfectionist and it probably wasn’t good for me. Buuuut I was very well prepared for college. I don’t know I think it depends on your personality. If I had an anxious perfectionist kid I’d probably steer them away from the full diploma.

      1. I also did IB about 20 years ago, and am also an anxious perfectionist. My IB class was very small though and I loved it! It was the right amount of challenge and critical thinking. My experience in my particular IB program did not prepare me for college though which I found to be a very overwhelming experience and standard test driven. My IB experience taught deep learning and independent thinking while my college experience was much more cram session than anything, which exacerbated my anxious perfectionism. I also didn’t receive any college credit for IB classes – maybe this was unique to my college but you had to notify the college in advance and take the final exam for the class and pass it to receive the equivalent course credit, and I missed the deadline. The IB programs where I currently live are not at all like what I experienced, they just seem to produce mental health issues in the students and parents alike. I’ve chosen not to have any of my 3 kids in it.

      2. I am a fellow anxious perfectionist who did IB 30 years ago and I agree it was also probably not good for me. But – it was the best thing I ever did in most ways because of the deep friendships I formed (that have lasted to this day), and how easy college was for me in comparison (and this was a T20 school, so pretty selective). I graduated summa cum laude in three years and got into my dream grad school. No regrets and would do it all over again if I could, despite the late nights and lack of sleep and stress. It helped make me the person I am today.

    3. My daughter got an IB diploma last year. She chose IB over AP because the AP courses she took sophomore year were memorization-focused and full of meaningless busywork, and she preferred writing essays. The distinction between AP and IB was presented as “AP is 2+2 = 4. IB is 2+2 = why,” which sounded appealing. I was very disappointed in the program, particularly for history and science. The science courses are two years long, so they only get to take one type of science (biology, chemistry, or physics) at the “college” level instead of two or three. The history courses are also two years and are just a bunch of random disjointed topics selected from a menu by the teacher, as opposed to the AP history courses that are surveys that start at a point in time and move forward chronologically. There is a lot of basic cultural and historical knowledge that my daughter just doesn’t have because of this approach. The second year of HL math is similarly disjointed. They also get locked into an elective for two years, which was problematic when my daughter decided she was no longer interested in art and wanted to drop it her senior year. Despite claims from the high school and a private college counselor that “colleges all give credit for IB exams now,” she barely got any college credit despite scoring well on the IB exams. In terms of workload, junior year was manageable but senior year was ridiculous. This appeared to result from the fact that the high school had used COVID as an excuse to eliminate its pre-IB track for ninth and tenth grades, so the kids came in woefully unprepared and the IB teachers spent junior year on remediation and didn’t get started on the big projects until senior year, when they should have started or even completed some of them during junior year. Finally, the IB cohort at her school was very small so she ended up having to take six courses with the class bully, who targeted her and made the experience miserable. I wish I could go back in time and talk her into doing AP instead.

      1. I don’t think your experience is typical. My IB history classes were one year and were chronological. There was an option to take a second science for kids who wanted to and math was just normal calculus.

        1. How long ago did you complete the program? The syllabi are dictated by the IB organization and there have likely been changes since you were in high school.

        2. +1

          At my daughter’s school, you can take a second science. We wouldn’t have let her do it if she was limited to one science. She’s doing Biology and Chemistry. The scheduling works such that they can take Biology and Chemistry or Chemistry and Physics but not Biology and Physics but I think that’s a teacher scheduling limitation not an IB issue.

        3. Yeah, that’s not normal, I took IB Physics and Bio and Math and also took the AP tests for all of those. Math covered things beyond BC Calculus, but it was enough to do well on that test. I also got college credit for all of those (it was the same for IB or AP), but I still had to take intro physics and intro bio. In my experience, only calculus really gets you out of much in college because colleges want science majors to take their versions of the classes.

          1. “In my experience, only calculus really gets you out of much in college because colleges want science majors to take their versions of the classes.”

            I don’t know about this statement — the engineering-focused state school I work at gives AP credit for every science subject with scores as low as 3! (which is kind of wild to me, a 3 is crap).

            I even got credit for bio, chemistry and physics at MIT with AP exams (needed a 5 though), although that was a while ago and it looks like they changed their policy and currently only give credit for AP physics. Crediting physics but not bio and chem doesn’t really make any sense to me because I think physics is the science subject where the MIT course differs the most from the AP course, but anyway…

          2. I got credit for them, but I still had to take the intro classes. In the case of physics, I got credit for one version of intro physics, but not the version I needed for my science major (physics with calculus). In the case of bio, I got a generic bio credit, but I still had to take intro bio because the intro bio classes required for a bio major or as prereqs for upper level bio classes were a multi-semester sequence with no one semester that corresponds to what’s covered in AP bio. I think chemistry might have actually counted toward one semester of the intro chem sequence, but that’s the one I didn’t take, so it didn’t help me.

            I’m a STEM prof, so I’ve worked at a lot of different universities, and they all have different policies depending on how they structure their intro classes, but it’s pretty common for AP/IB to not correspond well to college classes, especially for bio. Plus, the intro classes are important for teaching the basics of how things work at the university and some schools try to do interesting lab or integrative activities, so universities don’t always want students to skip them.

          3. You definitely don’t need to repeat the intro classes at the school I work at, if you get 5s. The class you get credit for depends on your score and so (generaIizing broadly) a 3 is like “physics for non-STEM people,” a 4 is “physics for engineers” and a 5 is “physics for physics majors.”

            I don’t disagree that that there’s value in repeating the courses locally, especially at more selective schools, but it’s not universal.

    4. Generally junior year is going to have the most crushing workload for any college-bound kid, no matter what program they’re in.

    5. I went to a school with IB, had many friends who did the IB full diploma, but I didn’t. Whether it’s worth it or not depends on your other options. In my case, I took many of the IB classes (math, science, language, and some English and history) but opted out for other things because we had better teachers and classes for those at my school and I learned more in those classes, though the IB classes I did take were very good. It didn’t matter for college admissions or time to graduation. I got into all of the very selective schools I applied to and got lots of IB/AP credits, but as a STEM major I still needed four years to graduate (I ended up with almost an entire extra year of credits).

      While that’s just one data point, there certainly didn’t seem to be any admissions advantage for my friends who did full IB over my friends who did what I did, and pretty much every college treats IB and AP credits the same. As long as you take a challenging course load, it won’t matter that much. I always vote for good teachers over anything else, so I’d go for whichever classes have the best teachers.

      1. OP here and thanks. We have no way of knowing who the best teachers are because the school is the size of a small college (3000+ students) and teachers are always coming and going. So there may be two AP Biology classes at the same time period, but one has a 10+ year teacher and one has a new teacher on a provisional certificate. You never know down to when classes start in August. And the schedules are such that one kid got an extra study hall due on semester due some conflict with A/B day year-long classes and semester-long classes, so you actually have to loop in a human to straighten out and by then, it may take a week or more to sort out.

        Kiddo has a nervous perfectionist vibe, but also does not do well in classes that are full of more rowdy non-scholastically-oriented kids. The IB vibe is more like Hogwarts and the rest of the school is very big-SEC school party vibe (like Bama Rush, but for high school). I am honestly torn here.

        1. I think you have to let your child make the final decision. Just warn her that once you start down the IB path forever will it dominate your destiny–those courses are all two years long so you are stuck even if you hate it.

        2. What does your kid want to do? If she’s not into the idea it’s going to be an ungodly slog.

          1. She really doesn’t know. And as a working mom, my network vanished during COVID and after moving, so I’m starting from scratch. We know one kid who is doing IB despite the Bs just for the rigor and “serious student” pool, and that seems to be the only thing kiddo can point to (if J does it, it should be good for me).

      2. +1 to this – I am seeing more students in our school lean towards ‘just’ 3-5 AP courses vs the full IB diploma as it gives them more leeway to balance school with other things (lean in to a team, do the school play, take a leadership role in a club, etc.)

      3. I don’t know about an admissions advantage, but anecdotally, I went to a prestigious and very demanding college and the people who had done full IB diplomas seemed much better prepared than the people (like me) who had just taken a bunch of AP classes and State U college classes.

        1. I think the difference in preparation is in the amount of writing. IB kids have to write several big papers that take a lot of planning and background reading and editing. AP is mostly short essays.

          1. I pretty much only knew science and engineering majors so it wasn’t really about reading and writing. Not that writing isn’t important for science careers in the long term, but there isn’t typically much of it required in undergrad STEM classes and I don’t think that’s where the difference between the AP and IB kids was.

    6. I adored my IB program with mostly excellent teachers at a public school. I’d highly recommend it for a kid who is very bright and academically motivated. The kind of kid whom it serves well probably doesn’t need their parents crowdsourcing opinions on it.

      I also took a few APs and I think the structure of IB allows for a much better education if the teacher is skilled. If the teachers are unskilled or unavailable, it’s a lot easier to teach an AP to oneself.

      1. The last sentence is very important. There are few test prep resources for IB and plenty for AP.

      2. OP here and I agree to all this. This board is my Hail Mary since I don’t know that many moms locally. I think it’s the 2-year commitment that has me just wanting a double-check since we have such a small data set on this. Kiddo is fine just to keep on going. My sense is that anything hard will be a struggle (and this is for a kid who maybe isn’t yet used to the hard things being hard for her and that that’s not a failing on her part).

        1. My kid was not used to finding anything difficult, and she did learn some coping skills in IB that have served her well in college. Better to have to learn while they still live at home than when they are off on their own.

        2. Is it definitely a 2 year commitment if you don’t care about getting the credit? My colleague’s son dropped IB after junior year because he wanted to do the school’s theatre specialization and was in band and choir so IB was too much which his rehearsal commitments.

          Most universities have detailed info on what credit they give for which IB courses at HL or SL. Or none on occasion.

  18. I have some silver fillings on my top side teeth that are visible when I smile, and it really bothers me. Yesterday a dentist gave me an estimate of $11,000 to put crowns on the visible teeth. I want to look at some other options. I feel like I would be a good candidate for veneers since the problem teeth are on the top. What do we think of veneers? Are they always obvious?

    1. My dentist would replace the fillings for white ones. Why would this be a case for veneers or crowns?

    2. Almost every dentist replaces those silver fillings over time for the white ones anyway because those fail. Crowns and veneers are an over the top solution for that problem.

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