Coffee Break: Sweat-Absorbing Cloths
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If you're like me and your face gets pretty sweaty during a workout (mine also gets pretty red and makes me look like I may collapse anytime, even when I'm fine), you've probably found that pulling up your workout shirt to wipe your face (my former technique), or cleaning off your face with tissues or a regular towel (too rough) isn't ideal. I've discovered these cloths are a good solution!
These 10″ x 10″ microfiber towels absorb a lot of moisture and dry quickly compared to a regular towel. They take up less room, too, and one can even fit in a leggings pocket. They're machine washable, too. I can also see these being helpful for perimenopause hot flashes.
A set of five towels is under $15 at Amazon. I bought the pictured olive green, but lots of colors are available, including an assortment.
Sales of note for 6/16/25:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Nordstrom Rack – Refurbished Dyson hairdryers down to $199-$240 (instead of $400+)
- Ann Taylor – 40% off summer must-haves + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new womenswear styles with code
- Eloquii – Extra 45% off all sale
- J.Crew – Easy summer styles from $39.50 + extra 50% sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 60% off clearance + extra 70% off 3 clearance styles
- M.M.LaFleur – 30% summer essentials with code + try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – 30% off all tees, shorts, dresses, and more + extra 30% off all other markdowns
Does anyone know of a one-piece swimsuit that is both plus-size (18-20) and long-torso? I’ve tried just sizing up but it’s too loose in the bottom and still cuts too low across the chest. I know the easy answer is to buy separates, but I’m asking here in case I’m not thinking of a good brand. Thanks!
J Crew should have that.
JCrew’s swim (or at least long torso swim) goes up to 16 only IIRC. I’d suggest Boden which offers “long” in 16-18 and 20-22.
It goes up to at least 22.
None of the long torso one pieces currently on the website go above 16?
used a bad word. Sorting by ‘long torso’ in the current swim selection online doesn’t give any size options above 16.
Lands’ End has long torso and definitely has 18-20 sizes. Maybe I’m an Old but I’ve thought some of their suits can be surprisingly cute.
Summersalt goes up to a 22 and carries long torso. I really like my suit from them.
Land’s end has that. They also have cute midkinis this year if – I have a long torso and mine doesn’t really show any midriff. Just in case you like any of those options but dismiss them because they’re not a one piece
I tried the “long” size from J Crew and just gave up. I ended up buying a bikini, with the bottom being “ultra high waist” that covers the model’s belly button but stops a couple of inches below mine.
In today’s volatile world with climate change, war, AI, etc — what careers would you never ever consider (or suggest to a dear nephew or niece, for example)? What careers do you think will have a place in the future?
Never ever for me: journalism (I think as a paid career it’s dying), military (high chance of being involved in a stupid conflict you don’t necessarily believe in)
For the future: Special needs therapists (occupational, speech, physical). Not sure what else.
Everything medical is going to be in high demand in the next 20 years as the baby boomer cohort ages.
Agree
+1 except for radiology which I think is going to be an early casualty to AI
If I was going to do it all again, I’d be an anesthesiologist. Good work/life balance. good comp. Very geographically mobile.
I doubt it, maybe the techs who illegally sub for radiologists all over the country.
There’s a shortage there at the moment. They’re already using machine learning for some scans but I can’t see them getting completely away from human review. Too much liability. I could be wrong, though.
yes, though many of these fields you are overworked and underpaid, especially if you go the physician route, given the cost of a medical education in this country
Physicians are not underpaid 🤣
Yeah I know a urologist who makes ~$400k in a LCOL area working 35 hours per week.
I thought *specialists* make bank but the general family physician is underpaid I thought — that’s why they’re all trying to go private where people pay like $2000/yr for the privilege of having a GP.
I’d say for the value they give to society, I’m comfortable with that. Urologists are surgeons. The cost of going to medical school is very high in this country, and a very long time of training without much income. I’m less comfortable with the $400k going to drug sales reps, investment bankers, young management consultants, but whatever.
I’m the person who mentioned the urologist and I agree it isn’t crazy given the specialty and cost of med school. But I would also never describe MDs as underpaid. Even general practitioners are usually making plenty to live comfortably even after paying off school debt.
many general practitioners are not able to live comfortably while paying off debt. they have little to no admin time built into their schedules, yet receive tons of patient messages they are expected to respond to, etc. I am not a physician nor am I married to one, but many of my closest friends are, and they work A LOT. my father is an ophthalmologist and loves his job, and fortunately when we went to medical school in cost A LOT less, but each year he gets reimbursed less by medicare and insurance companies, while the cost of med school continues to rise. he does totally fine as he is at the end of his career, but it’s not all sunshine and roses.
It isn’t just the cost of medical school, but also the years of working as a resident and doing a fellowship for $70k per year. Four years of college, four years of med school, five years of residency and 1-2 years of fellowship before they make the doctor salary.
Many physicians are getting their loans paid up by their employers separately from their wages. US physicians are not underpaid.
US Physicians are not underpaid, compared to what?
I feel that primary care doctors are underpaid — 500K in med school debt and they often don’t make “real” money until well into their 30s (and then it’s eaten up with loan repayment and having to pay an on-the-books nanny for childcare since they have in-person jobs they can’t be flexible for). Not a lot of maternity leave if you have a baby in school or residency (and if not then, it may be too late). Med school costs the same for a pediatrician as it does for a hand surgeon.
It’s like law school, where the debt is there is you’re a small town T&E lawyer or criminal defense lawyer, but there’s no repayment for many of these jobs and they are needed. But doctors can generally afford their loans (but it’s not cushy), whereas lawyers can’t be guaranteed to even get a JD-preferred job.
So many spouting opinions who have zero understanding of what the dynamics are like right now for primary care. So much depends on the type of physician, type of schooling, etc. I would have thought a board of mostly attorneys would have a better sense of high salary but high cost of education, insurance, etc. And though not directly billing by hour the same way, you better bet they’re on a conveyer line with insurers for how much time to spend per patient. Now add in ever growing administrative burden–have you seen what denial rates are like these days and preauths and requests for info, etc. etc. I wouldn’t steer youth there now. I think it’s about to get much, much worse as affordable insurance gets further out of reach for so many. It means people a lot sicker by the time they see you and with less means to do anything about it. Depressing. Just ask veterinarians.
Never: military, health insurance, unskilled labor
For the future: skilled trades, health care, STEM (b/c this anti-science administration won’t last forever)
While I do not disagree with your take on journalism and generally feel like the guidance I got as a kid (major in your passion and the job will follow!!!!) is not what I plan to message to my own children, this early 2000s journalism major is using her journalism degree skills DAILY in her finance job. I learned to write, ask questions, pick up the phone, talk to strangers and gain trust quickly, have empathy, know when to shut up, be inquisitive, work to deadlines… and omg, the grammar training I received!!!… things that my traditional finance bro counterparts struggle with bigly.
I have a master’s in journalism and earn 225K. I’ve held jobs as a reporter, digital marketing director at a media company, and editorial leadership at an association. Currently, I hold a communications leadership role at a company where I frequently speak, moderate panels at conferences, develop research reports, and ghostwrite presentations for our subject matter experts. I love what I do. But I would never, ever steer someone to journalism now. I do well but I think that was in spite of, not because of, the opportunities my degree has afforded me. The amount of continuous learning and reinvention has been unreal. And clawing your way through a glutted field. There are so many more stable ways to get where I am.
Even jobs most exposed to AI will continue to grow in the future, just at a smaller rate. The areas that will see a big drop are office support, customer service, food service, manufacturing, and retail sales.
If I could do it over, I would become a physician assistant in a dermatology practice.
Nurse. Very versatile degree in my opinion. You can do clinical care you can do clinical trials and you can transition to management
I don’t believe in this at all. I went to journalism school, work in corporate communications, and am using AI to improve my job. I understand that for certain professions like lawyers and doctors your education is training you for a specific job, but most white collar jobs are fairly interchangeable with a degree and some upskilling. I’d recommend they use college to discover areas that interest them and work hard.
What’s your non-work thing that you know a lot about, and why?
I know a great deal about antiques because my mom used to take me with her when she’d go browsing when I was a kid and there was nothing for me to do but read the tags on items. And I definitely put this knowledge to use as an adult – we have mass market pieces where spills and durability are a concern, like our coffee table, but our good furniture is good and brings me so much joy.
Flowers! My mid life hobby is growing cut flowers and I’ve learned an insane amount in the last two years about cut flowers, natives, and more. (Still need to learn more about beneficial insects though, the thrips and aphids are killing me this year.)
Perfume. Gardening. Knitting. Classical music.
As a child and teen I was a competitive horseback rider. I don’t ride anymore so when I come across a horse (sadly not often), those around me are always surprised by how comfortable I am with them. Not sure if it counts or not. Cannot wait for my daughter to be old enough to ride.
Antiques, historic building techniques/materials, and sewing. Honestly I kind of hate that I have this knowledge, I just can’t really get excited about most mass produced things becausey brain automatically analyzes how they’re constructed and with what materials and most often the conclusion is not good.
R&B music
Travel planning. I’m an informal travel agent for at least a dozen family members and friends.
Astrophysics, b/c of my undergrad degree.
Knitting, crocheting, handweaving, and the various related tools of the trade, including looms and antique fiber prep equipment.
travel planning, in particular airport logistics / layover advice if you have choice of connections, and best lounges by status or credit card. I’m all for making the “travel” part of the travel part of the fun.
Classical music. I have a bachelor’s degree in music performance and enjoy annoying my pompous church choir director by recognizing weird chords and complaining about poor voiceleading in the alto part.
Historic American architecture, cooking, and real estate in certain markets.
Who pr0t3sted this weekend and did their civic duty?!
I did! Went to a very crowded No Kings rally in my good sized Midwestern City. Interesting crowd composition. Not alot of diversity (at all!) and as the media had reported, a fair percentage of the crowd was older (seniors).
tell us how you feel about it without telling us how you feel about it
I did not, I was traveling. I wish I had, but I disagree with your perspective — my civic duty begins and ends at voting.
I think voting is the bare minimum. It’s okay if you didn’t protest, but I agree with OP that everyone who cares about democracy should be in the streets, if safe for them to do so.
I prefer to be in the sheets.
Why can’t she have an opinion?
Hope we can stem the tide of fascism so you are not bothered to care about that freedom. How inconvenient for you otherwise.
We did. I was surprised I didn’t see more young adults. That was particularly disappointing. And very few young men, unless they were with their ?wives/families.
If not now, when?
Yes! I was there with 3 friends and were all in our early 30s. Looked like a LOT of Boomers, a decent amount of Gen X and Millennials like us (but not many as I expected) and virtually no one younger than us.
This was downtown in a major city, right in the neighborhoods lots of young people live in.
In my 30s I was still working 2 jobs, or 1 with loads if weekend overtime. I feel fortunate now in my late 40s to finally be able to get out and protest.
Where were the college kids?
I did!!
This is offensive. I do not go near crowds for my mental health.
Please reframe your thinking regarding civic duty. Not everyone can participate the exact way you think they should.
So glad to hear you wrote letters and donated.
I did. More than anyone else I know. Thank for checking.
It’s not offensive, it’s just self righteous. Anyone who’s ever been to church in the South recognizes this personality. Funny to see it showing up in the political context, though!
Not at all surprising to see it here.
Por que no los dos?
So weak.
I’m so sorry – I am very, very anxious in crowds. I couldn’t go for other reasons but I appreciate
FWIW, scolding and hectoring people about being insufficiently liberal/civic-minded/leftist, etc. is a GREAT way to get people to ignore political stuff or switch teams.
*appreciate that people were out there.
This is just being a coward. If you are too socially anxious to be in crowds, then you are not prepared to fight for this country in any meaningful way.
Yeah, fuck the mentally ill, right?
Thanks, Internet Stranger! Hope you have the day you deserve.
You too! Hope your shadow doesn’t frighten you on your way home.
So interesting you know about shadows outdoors, as you never leave your mom’s basement!
This is exactly the ableist, offensive commentary I am talking about! Anon @ 5:50, you need to look inward and educate yourself about the privilege that keeps you looking down on those of us who are doing the best we can with our limitations.
My my my, we’ve found ourselves a troll.
Democracy is truly endangered by creeping fascism, so just voting is not enough.
I was out with 4000-6000 people in a small Midwestern city. There was a pretty good mix; there were lots of people over 60, but more young people including young men than I saw in the April demonstrations, and more Black protesters. Very few other people of color – although I did see one protest sign in Spanish – for understandable reasons.
Friends posted video from all over. I expected a lot of activity in Portland OR and Atlanta but was surprised and thrilled by the size of the demonstration in Mobile, Alabama.
I was in Oklahoma and the protest was huge. Definitely not just a blue state thing.
This is nice to hear.
Florida showed up and showed out all over the State! I was in Orlando with three friends and ran into others. One friend is very moderate from a Republican Veteran family. It wasn’t just the leftists.
I did! I’m in a smaller mid-south city and was blown away by the number of people who participated. As others have noted, though, vast majority were Boomers. I would have loved to have seen more young adults.
I did. Big crowd, not many young people. Lots 50+. Didn’t see any violence or altercations.
I’m in Berkeley. There were smaller neighborhood protests around me, apart from the larger ones in downtown Oakland and on the pedestrian bridge over 80.
I went down to my local one and high fived everyone and thanked them.
Despite what everyone likes to say about “boomers,” the neighborhood protests were all gray haired people. Love to see it!
If there were an organized plan beyond protesting I would be so much more enthused. Glad all the Boomers have come up with snarky signs for the 19th protest in a row. What change is that going to lead to?
Obviously there is a lot more going on than protesting, including litigation on innumerable fronts. But leadership is needed from Congress, and agitating is one way to get its attention, as well as to show how citizens feel about what is happening in their government. Mass protests are a pressure point. I’m not sure what else you think can be done at this point.
And do you not think that protests had anything to do with the passage of civil rights legislation in the 1960s, or with the end of the Vietnam War?
The midterms are in what, 18 months? There’s *almost* enough time for someone to come up with a plan.
I know I am going to sound neurotic and I don’t defend my neurosis, so please go easy on me here.
DH’s college friend group are primarily tech founders. All of these tech founders are pretty early stage (mostly Series A) and who knows how successful they’ll be. The ones that aren’t tech founders are VC guys or software engineers at tech companies. They are all obsessed with money, prestige, and one-upping each other. One of the guys who is an engineer recently made a dig at my husband, saying “Joe didn’t buy the dip because his wife’s father thinks a recession is coming – how did that work out for you?” in a mocking tone. This guy bought a lot of crypto when the market was down during the tariffs, and is now feeling very proud that it went back up. Another guy in the group who is a founder will frequently make digs at my husband, calling him things like a “little b-word” or “fobby” (most of the guys are not from the U.S., but my husband is the only one who is not a citizen yet and has an accent). The guys all grew up wealthy and are just very privileged in many ways, and will make comments I find classist (saying one guy’s girlfriend shouldn’t have an opinion on a topic after an argument, because she went to community college before transferring for her four-year degree). Another frequent refrain is that I am way too pretty for my husband, and everyone stares at us wondering how he pulled me (one of the friends has not said anything to me besides this in the 5+ years I’ve known him, including 3-4 comments at his own wedding in front of his family and friends). They are also very right-leaning, and at least a few have voted for Trump.
I now find myself just like… angry at this group. DH recently got word his job is phasing out in 3 months, and I hate the idea of these guys judging him for it. I don’t like the way they speak about him and I resent them for making digs about my husband/my father/me. I have already intensely limited my time with this group. However, I still just have lingering resentments, and I just feel like I can’t shake the anger at worrying they might judge my husband. How do I let this go? It’s on me now since I don’t have to see them, but I am really struggling to not be a hater.
I don’t think you sound neurotic at all — your husbands’ friends sound terrible!! Obviously since your husband is friends with them (why? does he feel conflicted about it? realize they’re jerks to him?) and they treat him badly and you care with them, it’s a gross and tricky situation. But YOU are definitely not the problem!
oops, that should be “husband’s friends” ha! but definitely they’re terrible.
Yeah they sound awful and this is a totally valid complaint!
Yeah your husband’s friends are a-holes. Why does he spend time with them? Does he actually enjoy their company, or is it more maintaining his network for future employment / investment opportunities? I’d separate the idea of friends and potential business associates. And I personally would run far away from the toxic bro founder culture and find different people to hang out with in general, but depending on his professional goals, your husband may not be able to do that.
I’m missing the part where your husband still wants to spend time with these people and why??
Right? These are not friends.
If a friend of mine loses a job, we all jump to try to help them make connections and other things to help.
He’s extremely loyal and is still friends with everyone from basically every stage of life. The digs at him don’t seem to bother him, but he’s gotten into some pretty heated exchanges with them over politics and I think does really resent them for their political leanings. He’s definitely less close and doesn’t respect them, but for whatever reason unable to cut the cord.
He can file them under the label friend if that gives him piece of mind, but also make an effort to meet new people and fill up your social calendar with encouraging and rejuvenating people. Just move on to better things.
I have a friend who still invites that one grad school friend who sounds like the people you are describing, which completely clashes with the vibe of the rest of the friend group. Seeing this bro dude at gatherings my friend hosts is super annoying, makes me question her judgement and might eventually impact my willingness to follow her invites (although I love her so I’m putting up with it for now). If your husband wants to challenge his loyalty mindset, that would be something to consider.
Are you in the Silicon Valley, where misogyny is not a bug, it’s a feature?
Yes – was your experience that the successful guys are entitled, status-obsessed, and misogynistic as well?
Absolutely.
and the less successful dudes copy those behaviors…
These are guys who were probably the biggest nerds in high school and now they’re suddenly cool (among tech bros only.) Now that they’re “cool,” they have a neurotic need to lord it over others.
Attractive women are commodities to them and they treat them/talk about them in those terms.
You don’t sound neurotic at all, they sound awful. Maybe their judgment/rejection will allow your husband to move on to friends who better share your values. I would try not to think about them and focus your time and energy finding and building a community of people you and your husband both enjoy spending time with.
Does their behavior bother your husband?
Just have him brush up on how to steal jewelry from his friends.
Lollll
Damn I must be missing a reference here!
The new John Hamm tv show, I think.
Yep :)
Who is telling you you are neurotic?
If these are the friends your husband has chosen, I think you have a husband problem.
I think your husband needs new friends and that you should feel free to bow out of spending time with these people until he figures that out.
I’m in the heart of Silicon Valley and spend zero time with awful people like what you describe, so please have hope OP. Plenty of the decent folks I know work in senior roles in tech, though plenty are in other fields too.
Why would you try and let it go? They suck don’t see them
If these are your DH’s friends, this is a major red flag about your DH. Run, girl.
Seriously!
Permission granted from this internet stranger to be a hater. They suck.
how much do you worry about bed bugs when you travel? If you’re coming back from a place with a problem (like Paris), what preventative steps do you take?
Don’t bring your bags into the hotel room or immediately put them in the bathroom without touching the carpet. Remove the sheets from each bed and check the mattress and headboard for dark spots with your phone flashlight. Make sure your sleeved are rolled up and your clothes don’t touch the bed while checking. I never use the drawers in hotels and avoid sitting on lobby furniture. I know people who have gotten them from nice hotels and I’ve had a scare myself.
If you didn’t check the bed then you’re already screwed if you got them. You can put all your clothing directly into the dryer for 30 minutes when you get home but your suitcase and shoes are contaminated. Leaving your stuff in the garage won’t help much. Bed bugs can live for up to a year, they aren’t like lice that die in two weeks without a human host.
Medium worry? We check the bedding/mattress before unpacking anything.
We worry a lot. We take clothes to the drycleaner immediately (suitcase to big zip lock bag immediately and wash everything else on hot. We use soft duffels and backpacks and those go straight into the dryer for 30 minutes.
I travel but I just don’t worry about this.
Same. I know it could be an issue but I figure I’ll deal with it if I ever have to. I travel too much to worry about it.
same
We’ve never done anything special. In probably 200+ trips as an adult, many of them to big cities, I’ve brought them home exactly once. We paid ~$2k for a heat treatment to kill them and successfully got reimbursed by the hotel where we picked them up (a cheap airport hotel by O’Hare). It was honestly a non-event compared to what I’d heard about it.
I don’t give much thought to them and we will unpack clothes into hotel dressers. (We typically stay is very nice hotels for holidays.) Suitcase normally stay on our first floor for a few days, mostly as I don’t want to lug the suitcases up several flights of stairs.
We have a large chest freezer. Everything that cannot be washed at 60 degrees, go 48 hours in the freezer
I have learned through painful experience that my husband is so allergic to bedbugs that we will discover the hotel has them with 12 hours of sleeping in an infested bed, and possibly even wake up while being bitten, which is not supposed to be possible. When this happened, we left in the middle of the night, put all of our luggage in sealed trash bags, and then ran all of our clothes through the dryer at a laundry mat the next day. The key is to run them at high heat for at least 20 min while already dry, so if you wash anything, let it get fully dry and then add 20 more min. I think we also sprayed down the suitcase with rubbing alcohol. We did not bring any bed bugs home. You can also heat treat luggage.
Bed bugs move slowly, only come out at night, and generally don’t venture more than a few feet from the bed as they just are looking for warm bodies. So ideally, don’t leave your suitcase on the bed.
Honestly, we have had bed bugs in our apartment twice – we live in NYC and got them from neighbors. They are not THAT hard to kill assuming you know you have them. Don’t go crazy. The tricky thing is, a decent chunk of the population doesn’t react to bites at all–including me as far as I can tell–so people don’t necessarily have them.
It isn’t necessarily easy to spot signs of an infestation by inspecting the bed unless it is really bad, so I would not bother with that. We couldn’t find them in the hotel where my husband got bit when he inspected the mattress, but when he turned on the light in the middle of the night to apply more itch cream, he found one crawing across the bed. Same thing happened the second time we had them at home.
I am dealing with recurring closet moth infestations and got this bad boy https://thermalstrike.com/#
I use it for killing moth eggs now, but when i travel it is big enough to fit my luggage in, and so when i come back from traveling I make sure there’s no electronics or deoderant and then cook the bag. It kills the bugs.
You can also leave your luggage in a hot car for X hours, since high heat kills off the bugs. And a dryer cycle on high heat for at least 50 min, or bake in oven for same amount of time at 150.
Kill with heat.
Also, the luggage in bathtub until the bed linen check is completed satisfactorily.
It’s never too soon to avoid pest infestations.
I check the bedding, mattress, headboard etc. and never take my suitcase out of the bathroom if I can avoid it.
Paris does not have a bed bug problem!! This is fake news. Sure bed bugs exist there just like every other major city. I take no precautions except staying decent places.
I am going to have two days at home alone while my husband takes our kiddos up to the cabin. I do have to work (running low on PTO) – but I’m feeling a little at loose ends about what to do with myself! I still have responsibilities (prepping some stuff for when I join at the cabin this weekend, making sure the dog survives) but want to make the most of this opportunity to recharge. Other than getting some solid reading time in – what would you all do?
Secret Single Behavior! Want to stay up late watching the show you love but DH hates? Eat cheese on crackers for dinner in the bathtub? Just go wander around the shops for a few hours without anyone wondering where you are and when dinner will be?
This. I enjoy living like a teenage boy when I have the house to myself. Ice cream for breakfast, too much Tv and random junk food.
Today is my last day of this. Husband and kids were gone Saturday and Sunday and will be home mid afternoon or early evening today.
I did a lot of gardening (the kind with dirt and flowers), enjoyed some beautiful weather outside, and got a pizza delivered just for me – with only the toppings I like! – last night.
Family other than me had an amazing meal at their destination (sent me pics) so the “awww you got pizza? No fair!” complaints will fall on my deaf ears haha.
Do you all ever talk to the pharmacist when you get prescriptions (or new prescriptions)? I’m just wondering if they follow various meds and interactions a bit more than the doctors who all see us for maybe 10 minutes and then it seems very piecemeal (like the blind men with the elephant)? I’m a bit vanilla (but have had one major problem with a common first-line antibiotic (a listed side effect) and can’t have anesthesia without zofran), but am not managing an aging parent with a whole new medical team after a move to my city. Maybe I am underappreciating pharmacists? Or the complex ways that meds can work differently on the elderly? I am making sure to fill his few daily meds at only one pharmacy and get them all reflected on each doctor’s mychart (but just seems like a LOT to keep up with) and I’m wary of how things may go sideways easily.
This is exactly a pharmacist’s job. If you have any concerns about drug interactions, you can and should definitely ask. make sure you’re talking to the actual pharmacist and not one of the techs.
Yes, of course. Maybe ask them if there is a best time during the week to get a little time with them – a lull in customers – so you can try to go in then and have a conversation. And in my city, there is one pharmacist well-known to give that extra attention, so if you do not like your current person, look around, esp for an independent pharmacy, for more personal attention
How do you manage talking with a pharmacist in situations where you have to use a mail-order pharmacy for some/all meds but have an in-town pharmacy for shorter-term ones? Health care is really just such a mess and it seems that pharmacists (who have a lot of education) are really not used as much as they could be (maybe in hospitals this is different?). I feel that the left hand truly doesn’t know what the right hand is doing (never mind shady or shady-ish places where it’s tele-docs who have never met you writing scrips and/or doing compounding, etc.). I used to be a lover of generics, but for some meds, the dosing doesn’t have to be super-precise (so for something I will be on for just a little bit, I’d be concerned about that enough to want the name brand of whatever since most dosing is for adult men, who outweigh me by a lot).
My mom was 80 pounds when she died (digestive organ cancers are a b*tch) and I wondered if anyone factored that in when dosing various meds. I guess with pain meds it kept her pain free (more so than if she were heavier than a typical 200 pound man), but still. We care about kids’ dosing a lot based on weight and I can’t believe it matters not a bit with adults.
And I don’t even know what we do when you are microdosing GLP1s that are compounded and that doesn’t show up on your EMR (along with who knows what else that you get in the mail).
All I know is that some meds affect the liver more than others (e.g., transdermal ones) and as I get older, I want all of the liver and kidney functionality I can keep.
Honestly, I have had a harder time with mail order pharmacists, but you can call and ask to speak with a pharmacist. Sometimes there will be a wait.
I have found my local pharmacist (which is where I fill most of my meds) has been great. They see me regularly, get to know me and my family members, and are helpful.
Doctors are generally very poor about educating about side effects, and drug interactions. Medicine is actually quite sloppy these days. I’m amazed if my doctors even know what medicines I am taking. You have to keep track of this stuff yourself, sadly.
Yes, when I get a new prescription, sometimes there’s a flag that the pharmacist wants to go over it with me. When that happens, I never decline it. Can’t hurt, may help is my attitude.
Pharmacists are amazing! Well, not every single person on every single day, but on the whole they’re smart and engaged. If you’re at a local pharmacy or can get someone’s focused time it’ll be great to have them on your care team. The single-pharmacy and the MyChart help, but a few short conversations may be really valuable!
Yes. They will advice on interactions, what to avoid, how to use, when to switch for a generic one and when not to, and they are the ones who actually know what the medication looks like. Very little chance that your GP will know which one you’re talking about if you “know that the brand with the yellow ones were better than the long white ones”, but your pharmacist might.
Pharmacist are actually happy to talk through this with you. Even at chain pharmacies like CVS. I have noticed that the pharmacist wants to tell me more about my drugs, even when I don’t have questions.
Yep, that’s what they’re there for.
Any advice for cutting back on stress eating? Over the past few years I’ve started increasingly to eat while working & even though I’m aware, I’m having trouble resetting my eating habits. I’ve had some success with upping my exercise & trying to eat fewer smaller meals/stocking healthier options for snacks but (for example) I ate a ton of chips while trying to finish a writing project on deadline today because it just felt like I couldn’t focus without them. More than the health implications I just don’t love the feeling of being so dependent on eating to manage stress or perform at work.
OP here – posted & immediately realized that should have said “trying to eat fewer LARGER meals” … not smaller meals. Anyway – appreciate any thoughts from this group!
Sounds like you need to manage the stress foremost, and then the need to stress eat will dissipate. Meditation, therapy, and hard exercise — pick two of the three and really commit to them.
Frankly, this is just not helpful advice.
Frankly, it’s the only advice that will actually work.
Honestly, I just can’t keep chips in the house.
I hear you.
Same. If I have snacks in the house I’m going to eat all of them in 48 hours. This is also why intuitive eating is such a nonsense concept for lots of people (like me.)
OP circling back. I think anon 3:48 is right. It’s a stress issue. But also appreciate the solidarity re snacks. It feels nice to know I’m not alone on this..
Ugh. I logged into a hearing this morning only to have the arbitrator make a gross comment about how he hopes I’m a good wife while saying hello. I know it’s popular to hate on “political correctness” but I liked it better when men were more scared of the repercussions of saying garbage like this.
What the hell does being a “good wife” have to do with anything? That is super weird and sexist!
My first guess would be that he was referring to the TV show and hoped she looked or behaved a certain way?
Are you in a situation where you can choose your arbitrator (or where the parties select a mutually agreeable one)? This guy is on your blacklist, obviously, and you can also quietly tell other female colleagues to put him on theirs.
I’m not. In my industry they’re assigned randomly. I’ve literally known him professionally for more than a decade, well before he was an arbitrator. Seems like he’s having some kind of issue with his wife but seriously it was weird and gross.
Wtaf.
Ugh, so gross.
I have a shipment of frozen smoothies from Daily Harvest that will arrive this Thursday, when I am out of town. I contacted Daily Harvest but it’s too late to cancel. It’s shipped through UPS. What are my options here? I could have a neighbor take the package and put the smoothies in their freezer until we come back next week (or honestly they could keep the smoothies for themselves, I don’t care). I would rather not inconvenience my neighbors like that, though. Can I return to sender? Can I change my delivery date for an item that has to be frozen/refrigerated?
If you don’t care, then just offer them to your neighbors for free. If someone has lots of extra freezer space they can offer to store them (or extras). I realize I’m lucky though in that my block gets along and generally trades favors, like being on package watch, watering plants, offering to do curbside pick-up for others if we’re going to a store anyway, so the fear of inconvenience is not a familiar one for me.
I would ask a neighbor or friend to grab them, no problem. How much of an imposition this is depends on how much freezer space they’ll take up. Is it a giant box?
My neighbors would love to help you out like that – either by storing them or eating them! Reach out to one or two and see if they’d take you up on it. It’s a nice thing to have a little more neighbor interaction. It wouldn’t be a bother. I was happy to help take in trash cans for my neighbor recently while they were on vacation. They’re not my favorites, either!
This. Just ask your neighbor. It’s not a big deal.
Back when we used to get Blue Apron, we had an order delivered while away and I texted a neighbor to ask if they wanted it and they were super excited to try it! Just text and ask.
I’ve never done this for frozen food, but I’ve been able to modify an UPS shipment while it was in transit to be held at a UPS pick-up location. In my particular case it was our local Walgreens. So it would be a gamble, but if you could look into your tracking number options to see if it can be held for pick-up at a pharmacy. You’d just have to cross your fingers that they think to put it in their freezer.
Personally, I think letting your neighbors keep them sounds nicer/easier.
Ask a neighbor.
I’ve always just offered that kind of thing to a friend or neighbor.
Unless you live in a very rural area, this is not an inconvenience to your neighbor! My neighbors routinely receive deliveries if someone is out of town or just at work and worried about porch pirates. It is no trouble at all, I’m sure someone would be happy to either move the smoothies to your freezer or at least take them so they don’t go to waste if you don’t want to share a key.
I am at a conference and the men are wearing suits without ties, and the women are typically wearing slacks and a nice blouse or button-down shirt. It’s not a very formal field so any of this is fine. However, these seem like two different levels of formality. Am I wrong? What would be the equivalent of a man wearing a suit with no tie for a woman?
Pants and a blazer?
I would say that but then none of the women were really wearing blazers!
I would say that but then none of the women were really wearing blazers!
Ehh, there’s a larger difference between degrees of formality in men’s clothing, I think. So they don’t always match up one-to-one with women’s clothing.
Seems about equivalent to me. A dress that is one the more casual end of business-casual would also be about equivalent.
For those of you in BigLaw or MBB or something else that pays $$$, how do you handle it within your family if the rest of your family is very poor? I know some people who are like NFL players and buy a house for their parents or pay their rent. I’m not like that, but I make six figures while the rest of my family has never made more than 5. So their kids often have significant school loans, etc. I had loans, but not for undergrad. Do you give periodic generous gifts for graduations or holidays? Fund class trips (like a few thousand to go to NYC or DC for someone who lives far from either coast)? There isn’t one right answer, but now that my parents are gone, I feel like my teen nieces/nephews have no one supporting them (my parents were comfortable thanks to pensions, retiree medical care that was excellent, and having bought and paid off a very modest house). Maybe I should step up here and there?
It would be very kind of you to do so. How’s your relationship with your siblings and siblings? There’s not a significant income/lifestyle disparity in my family, but I’ve seen with friends how often pride is tied up in money when one sibling is more financially successful, so think about how this would go over with your family dynamics and be careful how you phrase your offer. Generous graduation gifts are easy if your siblings might be prickly. If you think they’d take it well, you could also approach your siblings and say you’d like to do something nice for their kids, is there a trip they’re looking forward to or a school extra you could contribute to directly or give them extra spending money for, etc. You could also offer to open a 529 in their name.
siblings and *niblings
Has anyone’s therapist broken up with them? We go to couple’s counseling and our therapist appears increasingly uncomfortable. The reason, as far as I can tell, is that DH has unacknowledged and untreated depression, and while the therapist does not think couple’s counseling is the right place to dig into this issue DH also keeps answering his questions with deep existential dread. I think the therapist just doesn’t know what else to do here without turning it into individual therapy. Should we take the hint? DH really likes this guy (partially because he’s a guy) but I don’t know if the therapist is handling this well. I have limited experience with therapy and don’t know what the “protocol” for something like this is if there is one – but it can’t be such an uncommon issue?
Therapists are adults who can use their words. I wouldn’t worry about making them uncomfortable… well, are least not with what you say in therapy (doing something like contacting them at home is different and inappropriate).
If the therapist wants to break up with you because of what your DH is saying at therapy, he can tell you that. Until he does I’d keep on keeping on.
Agreed. You can also just bring it up in your session. You may be interpreting him wrong.
I’m not hearing you say much about how *you* feel about the therapist — and, more importantly, about the therapy. I have a hard time imagining how it’s helping, given the dynamic you describe — but that could just be lack of imagination on my part.
If the therapist thinks your husband’s depression is influencing the couples therapy, it’s literally his job to say something about that. If he “appears increasingly uncomfortable” for other reasons, at the very least he should be willing to discuss it if you bring it up. You don’t have to give your interpretation about your husband’s condition, you can just say, “Hey, I noticed x, y, and z lately, and I find myself worrying it means you’re uncomfortable working with us. Can we discuss it?” However he handles it should be good information…