Coffee Break: Belmont Loafer
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I've always found shoes from Børn to be extraordinarily comfortable — so I'm excited to see these loafers.
The cushioning is always insane, as well as the softness of the leather — they're just really good shoes. These are nicely on trend, and for $110 look like a great option if you want a great walking shoe for work (that isn't a sneaker).
The loafer comes in 4 colors, sizes 6-11, for $110, at Zappos.
As of 2025, some of our favorite loafers for work are from Sam Edelman, Everlane, and Madewell. If you want something more classic, readers love Sperry and Ferragamo; if you want comfort, Vionic and Dr. Scholl's both have options. Meanwhile, if you want something a bit more feminine or slouchy, the Tory Burch loafers are all really highly rated at Nordstrom (especially this “ballet loafer“)!
Sales of note for 6/16/25:
- Nordstrom – Designer clearance up to 60% off
- Nordstrom Rack – Refurbished Dyson hairdryers down to $199-$240 (instead of $400+)
- Ann Taylor – 40% off summer must-haves + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new womenswear styles with code
- Eloquii – Extra 45% off all sale
- J.Crew – Easy summer styles from $39.50 + extra 50% sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 60% off clearance + extra 70% off 3 clearance styles
- M.M.LaFleur – 30% summer essentials with code + try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Free shipping on everything
- Talbots – 30% off all tees, shorts, dresses, and more + extra 30% off all other markdowns
Help me find some energy. I was a rock star in my 20s. In my 30s/early 40s, I could just motivate to push though what I needed to push through. Now, early 50s, and I am tired. Like could use a 30 minute nap after lunch each day tired. I sleep well at night. I could use another hour a day, but between working FT and kids (teens) and an erratic schedule juggling that and the fact that they need rides various places and in the summer that varies by week (and now working in various stages of progressing driving in our state), I just want to go to the gym. But I am just so tired. The summer humidity saps my energy even worse and makes a spontaneous workout at home impossible if it’s lightening out (I’m theoretically OK with being rained on). I’d love even weekly tennis (requires another person and the weather to cooperate). But I just feel like I’m at the age where I’d like to cruise into my older years healthy and with strong bones and just am running out of steam all the time (that’s another thing: can’t workout too close to a meal but if I wait too long, I’m out of juice — my body’s biochemistry has no wiggle room left). On HRT and doing well on that front, so it’s not that.
Have you had all recommended bloodwork? Ferritin and vitamin d deficiencies present this way, as do some thyroid issues.
Yes — all OK. I’m a regular blood donor and always working in iron from red meat and beans / oatmeal / cereal / green veggies with it. Vitamin D is fine. Thyroid keeps checking out OK even though I’m always cold and have various relatives who are hypothyroid (incl. a child). Maybe I’m just old and tired?
Try stopping blood donation for six months. It may be that your blood donation regimen is asking too much of your body during menopause.
I’m curious about this. I donated all the time in my 20s/30s, when I swear I had the heaviest periods. For an older woman, I’d think it would be less of a metabolic burden (if that is a phrase; you can get the concept though, yes?).
I hear you, but I think giving stopping it a shot for six months to see if you feel better is a very simple, free intervention.
A blood donation is approximately 10x the volume of blood of an entire period, so if you’re doing that even 2x a year, you’re losing more than twice the blood you were while menstruating.
Blood donation really wipes me out, and you might be the same way. Whether or not you think you “should” be able to donate without ill effects, it is entirely possible that you can’t.
My guess is that it is a red herring. Plenty of older and tired people. IMO u less you can get yourself to bed at 9 (impossible in my house, that’s when the kids suddenly decide to be social), you will be tired if you have a very full plate.
+1 I could have written this post and it was a vitamin B12 deficiency
+2. Same — including the B12 deficiency.
No advice but I could have written this exact post — 48. This coming school year my kid’s school will be closer to the easiest gym so I’m hoping I can go after dropoff and just make it a habit.
Agreed. Late 40s. I’m good about working out still, but I cannot hang like I used to. I go to bed at 9pm every night – before my tween/teen kiddos.
Maybe not what you want to hear, but it sounds like if you’re gonna make time to exercise at this stage if your life something else has got to drop. It’s like you said, you know you need to do it to live the kind of life you want to live long-term, so I’d look through things and see what isn’t spring a long-term goal that could drop, or something that is supporting a less important goal than your continued physical health. An old church leader was asked “how do you do it at your age?” And he said “when you can’t do everything, you can only do what’s most important.” Which is excellent advice for all of us.
For working out, you have to do it even if you’re tired. For most of us, if we waited until we felt like we had the energy to, we would never work out. But it gives you energy, and if you do it every day, it can address a lot of the energy issues you’re describing (provided. you don’t have any nutritional issues or underlying causes). When I head to the gym, oftentimes I feel bone-deep fatigued and would love nothing more than to lay down. By the time I’m done, I feel like I could run 10 miles.
It doesn’t have to be HIIT – you can try long walks, yoga, at-home pilates videos, gentle jogging, dance cardio, whatever floats your boat. Just get your body moving.
Besides that, make sure you’re getting enough electrolytes, protein, B12, and vitamin D and eating well. Cut down on sugar and alcohol.
Yes, it’s a stage of life thing, but one of the biggest gifts you can give your children is your own health and longevity. They want you to live to be 100 way more than they want you to sacrifice your own wellbeing to take care of their every need.
Ha to cutting down on alcohol. One beer a week and it makes me sleepy.
Why bother with the beer?
My guess: known amount of alcohol per drink and fewer calories than other beverages? I feel that I can’t overdrink with beer but liquor drinks can hit me like a ton of bricks midway into my first drink.
Even one beer a week can have an impact. A glass of wine zaps my energy for the next day or two. Our metabolisms change as we get older.
Same here. 50 and need a nap each evening or can’t make it past 9. Had all the bloodwork done and take iron and vitamins d and b complex. Soo tired!!!
Exercise and increasing my daily movement gives me energy. Seems counterintuitive, but as others said, if you just force yourself to start it becomes a self perpetuating cycle.
Exercise does not give everyone energy. I would fall asleep at my desk if I worked out before my workday.
And yes, like the other posters, I have had my bloodwork done and nothing is wrong. I’m just tired and exercise makes it worse.
Same. I’m 51 and have had all the tests and a sleep test. My best naps are right after long walks on the weekend.
Same. I am never as tired as after a workout. It is frustrating because a morning workout routine is the one that gets done but it exhausts me for hours after; an evening workout would really help me to sleep but it is too hard to protect that time.
Exercise may make you tired immediately after it, but it will boost your overall energy over time. That’s what people mean.
For most of my life, exercise not only drained my energy immediately after it, but drained my energy over time as well. Even if I committed to a recommended routine for as long as six months, it never increased energy for me and just made my life worse.
A few diagnoses and treatments later, I can actually expand how much energy I have by regularly exercising; it’s amazing. I finally know what people were talking about all that time.
What if you just concentrated on what you need to do in this season to get in the workouts?
Maybe it’s planning them on the family calendar, joining a gym, signing up for weekly cardio tennis classes or actual lessons or hiring help. (For me a college kid a few hours a week is more than worth the expense.) it’s all just to get through the summer so it doesn’t have to be a long term or perfect solution. You can reevaluate when and how you work out in the fall when the weather and schedules are less challenging.
My exhaustion was high blood sugar.
I added testosterone gel to my HRT to help with energy if you haven’t tried that.
No one can work full time and exercise and clean and be a limo service for teenagers. Something has to go. The idea that this is normal has to go. How did we get to the place where teens are not riding the bus, walking, and riding their bikes?
Can anyone suggest some one-shot drinks? A lot of things I like, flavor-wise, have just too much liquor for me to handle well now that I’m an infrequent drinker (trying to cut empty calories and too lazy to try a proper mixed drink at home). Beer is OK but too filling usually (I only drink lagers, which have lower alcohol, but maybe they are too starchy in the summer?). What is crisp, refreshing, and not loaded with booze for summer drinking at a place with a proper bar? I like an Old Fashioned (in winter) and recently even margaritas are too much for me.
Do you like bitter? A lemon, lime, and bitters is great in the summer.
Many bars will have a low- or no-alcohol section of the menu so scan for that. But if they don’t, consider things with “spritz” or “spritzer” in them, like an Aperol Spritz. You might also like something that’s “with soda” like a vodka soda, rum & diet coke, or gin & tonic. Those can taste boozy so you might prefer the spritz
Agree with looking for spritzes. Elderflower liquor with club soda and a squeeze of lemon or lime is very nice. I like Americanos, which are Campari, vermouth, and club soda. I also like just vermouth and soda, but you need to get decent vermouth.
I like dry roses (the wine, not the flowers) in the summer, too, and sometimes add a little seltzer to dilute them and make them fizzy.
I note you mentioned not handling margaritas – I find tequila to be very hard on me. I feel more hungover and queasy after drinking even small amounts of tequila vs almost any other kind of liquor.
YES to elderflower liquor and seltzer – it’s so good.
I often add a can of seltzer to tequila (“ranch water”), vodka soda is good. I like G&Ts ok but i hate to spend the calories on tonic when diet tonic exists and is good. My husband drinks a lot of diet tonic by itself.
Fever Tree has a light tonic that has about half the sugar/calories but not fake sugars. I really like it, you can taste the gin better when you use it for gin and tonics.
You can just ask for a gin and tonic or a vodka and soda.
Do you like bitter? A lemon, lime, and bitters is great in the summer
I like a cape cod, moscow mule, or tequila sunrise. You can also ask for a light pour or tall which will have more ice and mixer in it.
Mojito!
I’ll often get a highball and ask for a light pour. So gin & tonic, light pour, extra lime is a good one. Or whiskey soda, light pour.
White wine spritzer is also an oldie but a goodie — if available you can ask for the white wine in a carafe and add it to the seltzer as you want to for taste.
I like a vodka tonic with a big squeeze of grapefruit.
Gin and tonic with lots of lime! A good botanical gin like Hendricks will work great (especially Neptunia Hendricks) and one shot is fine.
Try a Paloma — it has a shot of tequila, but then it’s lime juice, seltzer, grapefruit juice, and simple syrup.
B-52
To all the women saying they are 50+ and tired, I really recommend the book The Plan by Lyn-Genet Recitas. It’s an anti-inflammation meal plan that did wonders for me. As we get older, more foods start causing inflammation than we realize, and a nutrient-dense, non-reactive diet can create a huge impact on our energy levels (among other things).
The cover is misleading as it focuses on ‘lose weight fast’ but the content of the books are much more about health and wellbeing. I think unfortunately the publishers thought weight loss would get more buyers.
Or we develop Celiac and go undiagnosed like 80% of other Celiac patients, and no wonder gluten-free helps.
I think gluten can be inflammatory for a lot of people who don’t have Celiac too – same with refined sugar. Elimination diets can be really helpful for testing what foods might be zapping us of energy or causing other symptoms.
By contrast I once tried the whole 30 and it made me obsessive, hungry, and impossible to have over for dinner. But my gut, skin, and mental health were…exactly the same. Because, it was an elimination diet aimed at people with food allergies sold to me as virtue. I don’t think developing a crummy relationship with food is the answer here.
+1
I’ll take a look at it based on your recommendation. I looked into anti-inflammation diets a few years ago and it just seemed like I would have to change my eating habits 110%.
You can do an elimination diet where you temporarily change “110%” of what you currently eat, then add things back in one at a time and see how you feel.
So I’m 50 and maybe not the target of this complaint but I’m tired sometimes because well, life is tiring. I work full time in a high stress job, have a lot going on outside of work. It’s just a phase of life. Not everything is a medical issue. Sure diet and exercise are generally good ideas but they aren’t cure alls.
yes. thanks.
I am a lawyer who is going to spend a month at a construction site. I wear skirt suits and dresses every day. I need pants! I live in the middle of nowhere and my local hardware does not stock my size. Here is what I am looking for:
– Extremely high rise (like 11″) preferred
– safe for machine wash
– no wild colors…black, olive, and/or dark neutrals OK
– long enough to at least cover the tops of my mandatory steel toe boots – no ankle pants, 32″+
– Straight leg or tiny boot cut – not skin tight or loose/wide leg
– Size is the real struggle: 0/25″waist, 32″ inseam or longer, extra-high waist (I have a weirdly long torso).
A friend suggested Duluth Trading dry on the fly pants but it does not come in my size or specs.
Try Zara or Mango
Can you do black jeans? If so, Levi’s Ribcage should work,
Lucy & Yak Addison trousers if tapered leg is ok
Madewell
Gap sky high waist
All these have 11-13 inch rises.
Workwear/casual or more “regular” pants? Pants may be foreign to you, but your list of requirements is not at all out there, so any of your normal brands probably have pants that’ll fit. Not so sure about workwear pants, though. Carhartts are pretty low rise.
The Cintas (yes the uniform company) uniform pants are my go-to. I like the Cathy fit bit I dont think theyre available anymore. Individuals can purchase their stuff, not just businesses. I’ve been out of manufacturing for years but still keep a couple pairs around for this sort of thing.
Old Navy has lots and lots of pants.
Dickies, Carhartt, and Lee are the classic brands for these kinds of work site pants, and they come in long sizes and long rises depending on the style. Easily found on Amazon, just do a search for the brand and “high waist” or “high rise.”
I like the Dickies Renegade pants myself, but they are not particularly high waisted.
I wear the Dickies men’s original 874, and they fit like a dream. Very high-rise and available in a selection of lengths. I see them on Amazon in 28×32 (the waist runs slim), but that may not be small enough for you. Extended sizes may be available elsewhere.
If you need actual workwear pants, try Dovetail! They’ve got great pants and many of them come in extended lengths.
Talbots has machine washable suits
Screaming into the void. My elderly mother is in a wheelchair after surgery and my father is planning to bring her home and taking care of her there. There are no accomodations in their home for her. Rehab needs the bed so will discharge her once she can get in/out of a wheelchair alone. He will not accept any modifications to the house (chair lift), an aide, or anything really. He has dropped her while helping to move her from wheelchair to the bed before but claims that will not happen again (because…reasons).
They have enough money to pay for help, to move into an accessible space, to have her spend time in private rehab and won’t. This is like watching a slow moving car crash. ARGH.
Is there a social worker you can talk to? Places get penalized for readmissions, don’t they?
argh, i’m so sorry.
Are you going to help?
Sorry – what I meant is it can be incredibly overwhelming to be in the position your parents are in. I had to organize all the accessible stuff for them. You think it sounds easy, but it is not.
Unless you have a distant relationship with your parents, and don’t help with these sorts of things, I am kind of surprised by your comment.
Thank you to everyone who commented on my ER adventures this morning. Turns out my regular doc is out on vacation for 2 weeks so I’ve got an appointment in the next few days with one of her colleagues. It was really, really good to hear everyone saying I made the right call; I was crying to my husband about it (before we left for the ER) primarily it felt like such a dramatic and crazy thing to do.
I’m glad you went in and that you followed up with your general practice, be well! I hope everyone reading took away that it’s better to be safe than sorry when it comes to any unexplained chest/torso pain, especially with breathing difficulty. It can feel really dramatic, but dramatic is better than dead.
I’m the sepsis poster from the earlier thread and that day I was on a multi-generation vacation with my in-laws and it was July 4th. I’d gone to urgent care earlier in the day just before early, holiday-hours closing, and fortunately they gave me very explicit, “if you feel like you can’t breathe deeply, or feel faint, or develop a fever, go to the ER immediately” instructions. Like someone pointed out, a lot of us are conditioned to be considerate, not to take up too much space, etc. My impulse probably would have been to skip the fireworks to rest and “not ruin the holiday” for everyone, and it could have been disastrous. My son was only 3 and not really old enough to remember, but every year he talks about the time little sister stayed with Nana and he watched fireworks with Dad from the top deck of the hospital parking garage while the doctors made sure Mom didn’t die.
Niche nerdy content warning:
I’m on the Rancho Gordo Bean Club town hall Zoom right now, and Andy Richter is the “surprise guest.” Long time bean club member, he says. :)
I love all parts of this! I must’ve missed the Town Hall invite, ha.
I’ve been meaning to chime in to people asking about getting off the Bean Club wait list — when I got in I immediately bought 2 subscriptions, one for my household and one for my father-in-law who always joked about his Texas bean dishes (who had never been on the waitlist). So if you have a buddy who you know of in the club you might be able to make a deal that whoever gets in first can maybe coordinate with the other.
Does anyone have a wall-mounted pivot mirror in your bathroom that you love? I cannot see my face well enough without glasses to even apply concealer!
This is mine. Amazon says I ordered it three years ago and it’s still going strong.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RD4FK54?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_8&th=1
The magnifying side is 10x – it’s important to know how much magnification you need. 10x is a lot – my husband can’t use mine – but since my reading prescription is +2.75, it works for me!