Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Maxine Plaid Midi Skirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
It’s hard to think about fall when the temperatures are over 90 degrees, but this plaid skirt from Veronica Beard is getting me excited for falling leaves and cooler weather. I would pair it with a turtleneck and boots for a business casual vibe.
There's also a coordinating blazer, but that might be a lot of look for a formal office.
The skirt is $398 at Veronica Beard and comes in sizes 00-16.
Sales of note for 7/15/25:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale is open for everyone — here's our roundup!
- Ann Taylor – Semiannual sale, extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear with code
- Eloquii – Limited time, 100s of styles starting at $9
- J.Crew – End of season cashmere sale, take 40% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – End of season sale
- Talbots – All markdowns, buy 2 get 1 free, on TOP of an extra 40% off (last day is 7/15)
How is this a midi?!
How is it not? Maxis are ankle-covering.
if it’s this length on the model, I have to imagine it would cover the ankles of many American women.
I guess it’s a midi in the sense that it’s not a mini or maxi (I agree, maxis are decidedly ankle-covering) but when I picture a midi skirt, it’s more mid shin.
Yeah, it’s a midi only on models!
Catalog models are not crazy tall, only an inch or two above average. It’s runway models that are 5’10”+
The description on Veronica Beard says the model is 5’10.
even if the model isn’t crazy tall, the average American woman is bigger around than the average model. I’m 5’9, but I wouldn’t wear a size 2 or whatever the model is wearing, and I bet the size 8-10 version of this skirt is a bit longer than the size 2 version.
Really? Average is 5’4”. I do not believe that catalog models are 5’5” and even when websites were showing more “inclusive” size models, I never say one below 5’8”.
They make special versions of clothing for models, so that they look roughly the same on a tall model as on an average height woman. They don’t just pull a skirt off the rack for the modeling shoot.
So they’re not taking photos of the clothes they’re actually selling to us? Seems a bit scammy.
It’s been happening for decades, at least since the 1960s. Basically they have longer lengths and sleeves.
I don’t think this is correct— or at least not universal for clothing catalog and website photos.
Agree – midi does not equal ankle length.
I’ve been noticing that more and more. Midis are close to the ankle, and maxis are down to the floor. I don’t love this trend – I like my midis to be about calf length and I don’t feel like paying to hem everything.
This reminds me of the skirts my elementary school teachers wore in the late ’80s. Something about the length and overall shape … no thanks.
Agreed, this is really unflattering even on the model.
I absolutely guarantee that this skirt would drag on the floor if I tried it on.
Wouldn’t this be considered tea length?
No, I think tea is higher. Below knee, but not necessarily midi.
I would call this length full or long.
Anyone have experience with the devices that are supposed to help you improve your pelvic floor health by providing some feedback on kegels? I am doing traditional pelvic floor therapy now (meaning a series of exercises) through a provider that specializes in it, and am horrified at how weak my muscles are. When I try to do a kegel, either my abs or glutes take over and I am wondering whether any of these devices would help me isolate and work on just those muscles. Plan to ask the PT at my next appointment but looking for real life experience in the meantime.
I have a perifit and it can be helpful for pf strengthening and coordination. I also find it to be hilarious. Definitely the most entertaining of those types of devices.
Full body exercise can also be important for pf strength. I had the most success with that approach, went from a 2/5 to nearly a 5/5 with pf-friendly strength training exercises. I had good coordination when I started, though.
My company just started offering a teletherapy pelvic floor therapy option via Sword Health. I’m only about 10 days in and also kind of horrified by how week my muscles are! It does seem like the app/device work pretty well (there was a learning curve) and you can text/call your OT for more advice plus there is a real doctor involved. It is an internal ‘wearable’ device in case that squicks you out but overall I think it’s worthwhile.
Did you have symptoms of a weak pelvic floor?
Yes, and I’m prone to prolapse given other health issues. I travel for work frequently so IRL sessions were going to be hard, my PA suggested starting with this program and then she’ll refer me to an in-person practice if necessary. Though 4-5 sessions a week of mostly good effort via device/app are still probably more effective than the 1-2 sessions a week (max) I could do otherwise.
Oh my! I got something in the mail about this from my insurance company. Do we really want to put everything in the cloud including how strong our pelvic muscles are? lol.
If that was the magic trick I assume your PT would have told you already.
PT education and training seems to vary very widely. I’ve seen more than one PT for the exact same issue, presented with the exact same information from my referral, and gotten different management, ranging from “actively made things worse” to “slightly helpful” to “fixed, thanks!”
I bought a package of Emsella sessions and did those in addition to pelvic floor therapy with a PT and saw great results. I wouldn’t do just the Emsella, but I do believe that combining it with pelvic floor therapy accelerated and improved my results.
I could never wear a front slit to work. I’d be distracted checking for coverage. The fabric pattern looks like it should be a lightweight wool blend.
Me either. But I said this a few months ago on a pencil skirt with a front slit and commenters swore up and down it made no difference in their movements or sitting. Delusional. Plus front slits are ugly.
This skirt is long and the front slit doesn’t even go to the knees, I don’t think coverage would be an issue.
Right! I can see no front slit for above the knee skirts, but I don’t understand it for ones this long.
If you look at the photos on Veronica Beard, the slit goes at least a few inches above the knee on the model.
Oh god no not a flash of knee
Eh, if it’s a few inches above the knee and if you sit, that typically becomes an even higher slit. Add to that all the fabric wanting to fall to the sides, and the original comment from Tomatoes is very valid.
But why? Why do I need a flash of knee with a skirt slit? It’s just so unnecessary and yes, ugly.
Y’all do be some anxious nuns
I mean, is it supposed to hint at s*x appeal or something? It looks dumb.
That skirt looks narrow enough that a slit might be necessary to be able to take more than tiny little mincing steps.
I don’t mind the front slit look when standing, but we have conference rooms with sofa seating and skirts like this just don’t work for me in those settings. Back slit for walking is way easier to deal with when sitting down.
Yeah, my office is effectively a fishbowl, I have hips, and my desk has no apron front. No way I am taking a risk on this
Agree, not a fan of front slits especially for work
I’m looking for a not-too-large standing desk since I have to move my desk into my bedroom to make space for the baby to have his own room (currently nursery/office). The desk I have currently is very deep, which won’t work in our bedroom. I’m petite so it would need to be 24 inches high or so at its lowest seated position, which was hard to find the first time around. Any ideas?
I think Uplift has a frame that will go that low.
Fully (now owned by Herman Miller) makes a standing desk frame that designed for shorter people, it’s called the “3 Stage Low”.
Link to desk – https://store.hermanmiller.com/standing-desks/jarvis-laminate-standing-desk/2548841.html?lang=en_US
Best Wishes to your friend as they recover. How nice of you to prepare this!
For a series specifically I enjoyed Kristi Hunter’s Regency series about Hawthorne House siblings; The Island of Ordinary Daze by Angela Hunt & Lori Copeland.
I have read some but not all of Roseanna M. White’s Regency tale including setting of Scotland (The Reluctant Duchess).
Linda Chaiken has a series about a family drama with main characters exploring parts of colonial Africa (something about tomorrow’s treasures, don’t recall the exact name).
Elizabeth Camden’s Against the Tide & Into the Whirlwind and several others.
Standalone recs include any of Lynn Austin’s. She does have some series-a WWII novel, an American Civil War era, and others; Mesu Andrew’s historical biblical standalone characters (Gomer, Sarai).
A friend is facing medical treatments and I’d like to send her some books. She says she reads Christian fiction, which isn’t a genre I know. I’d be grateful for any recs. I think that any good fiction that stays away from adult themes would also be welcome. Thanks very much!
I’m a Christian, and even I think Christian fiction is a terrible genre. It’s sappy and formulaic and, as a rule, just not well written. They are Harlequins without the steamy scenes. Maybe look to classics instead, like Agatha Christie or more modern cozy mysteries. The Mitford series by Jan Karon wasn’t terrible, and the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency and at least its first couple of sequels were good, clean and light without being silly.
But her friend specifically asked for Christian fiction. The fact that you think it’s terrible is irrelevant.
This — no need to insert yourself and your reading preferences here.
The OP did ask for other recs that stayed away from adult themes, not just Christian fiction.
Because Agatha Christie novels are very tame and won’t offend her sensibilities. Besides, she probably already has access to the most popular Christian fiction and OP risks duplicating what she’s already read. I’d do the Miss Marple Short Stories.
My memory from reading them as a teen is tame, but after watching Marple and Poirot, there is a lot of dark human behavior that might offend her sensibilities. This is a situation where Anne of Green Gables or Emily of new Moon books might work, or some gentle travel memoir. There was a discussion in the last year or so about books for someone to read to a blind senior–if someone can find that, it could have some good suggestions.
This doesn’t seem like good advice to me.
Formulaic doesn’t mean bad; people have liked formulaic literary genres since prehistory. And while facing medical treatments, formulaic can mean predictable and comforting and easy to read (and don’t underestimate easy to read while dealing with side effects, sleep issues, discomfort, interruptions; I know my reading habits are very different when I’m sick).
I read the occasional mystery and have read Dorothy Sayers and some Agatha Christie, but it’s not a favorite genre for me.
I do like clean romances though, which I generally find more romantic and relaxing to read than steamier ones, which can easily be annoying, distracting, or stressful. I can do without a Christian bent, but I can appreciate the idea that romantic relationships often lead to starting families and involve family and community ties. A lot of romance genre books are so narrowly focused on themes of psychology and self-esteem and self-realization that they can start to feel navel gazing to me or just not fully relatable. But family dramas are kind of stressful and boring to me without the romance hook.
OP, I don’t really have recommendations unless she’s decades behind (I think the last Christian romance I read was Janette Oke’s Love Comes Softly and I had to look up the name, and maybe historical settings are a different subgenre anyway), but your local library may know which librarian can help with some suggestions.
If looking to classics, a lot of us have read Little Women and Anne of Green Gables, but there may be some Louisa May Alcott books she’s missed (e.g. Rose in Bloom, Old Fashioned Girl aren’t about the March family) or some Lucy Maud Montgomery she never got to (I am not confident I ever read the Emily books, and I know the Blue Castle isn’t even set on Prince Edward Island). More people have read Gene Stratton-Porter’s Girl of the Limberlost than her other romances.
But I think these are all public domain by now, so maybe not ideal as gifts!
Lucy Maud Montgomery’s short stories are my absolute favorite comfort read when I’m sick and you can find them online for free:
https://www.pdfbooksworld.com/short-stories-of-lucy-maud-montgomery
Hah, just realized you recommended Jan Karon’s Mitford series. I did the same below. OP get that book!
Jody Hedlund is a great writer in the historical romance niche of Christian fiction, if you think she’d like that. I generally finish her books in one or two sittings – you just want to keep reading.
A friend who is Christian and enjoys Christian fiction recently recommended Under the Tulip Tree to me. I did not enjoy it because I’m not Christian and the story was heaviliy focused on that aspect. The same woman also liked Sunflower House, although I don’t think that’s Christian Fiction based on what I see on Goodreads, and I haven’t read it
Although not fiction, I recently read Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand and thought it was excellent. Spoiler alert: the person on whom the book is based converts to Christianity toward the end of the book – up until that part, the facts of the book are rough, but it is about a POW during WW II.
A gift card to Amazon so she can get on Kindle Unlimited and binge tons of titles. It’s very inexpensive and there are tons of good reads on there.
Agree with this approach. I love buying books for people, but not when I’m unfamiliar with the genre.
The Ellie Jordan Ghost Trapper series on Kindle is pretty PG, ethically wholesome, and surprisingly religiously unthreatening as far as the genre goes if I recall correctly. But it’s more sarcastic than feel good and necessarily has some dark gothic themes.
Not at all what OP asked for and some church ladies aren’t up for ghosts, but it was a church lady who recommended them to me.
This. I hate when people pick books for me.
How about Christy by Catherine Marshall? It’s an old classic.
This is not my preferred genre — but I remember reading this book as a young teen and loving it.
I also do not like Christian fiction but adored the book as a teen. The difference between Christy and most Christian fiction is that the character of Christy is genuinely grappling with her faith in a way that real adolescents do. It’s not just a sappy romance set in an idealized pioneer world.
If she’s older, my very own Mom wrote a cute Christian fiction romance set in the 1970s about the Jesus People movement, it’s called (I couldn’t talk her out of this, I really tried) “All Men Are Liars” and it’s very light, fluffy and fun. It’s on the ‘Zon in Kindle and KU.
High five for the title!
I’d go with an Amazon gift card or look at the best sellers list on a site like christianbook.com.
Something from the Alex McCall “Ladies Detective Agency” series? I probably wouldn’t call them specifically “Christian fiction” but the main character is Christian & they are very wholesome + light/fun/easy to read mystery novels that a lovely older Christian woman I know adored
I remember trying to read these about 10 years ago but couldn’t get into them.
Same.
+1
Mary Higgins Clark doesn’t write specifically Catholic books, but she was a devout Catholic and her books are very wholesome.
It’s Christian YA, but I remember enjoying Jeri Massi’s Derwood, Inc.
Jan Karon’s At Home in Mitford is actually a great (albeit very sweet and sentimental) Christian novel.
I recommend Patti Callahan Henry, specifically Once Upon a Wardrobe.
It has been a long time since I have read Christian fiction, but I used to really enjoy Lynn Austin.
Very niche recommendations for you, YMMV: Georgette Heyer is about as close to Jane Austen as you’re going to get regency romance. Kisses only and still great. Fantasy? Try W.R. Gingell or Kate Stradling. Comfort re-read? The Hobbit or LOTR trilogy. Kindle has a lot of vintage Harlequin romances now–Betty Neels, Mary Burchell, Elizabeth Cadell come to mind. Too good for just children? Joan Aiken’s ‘Wolves Chronicles’. Absolute favorite author, Terry Pratchett. Time travel? Kage Baker. Very little on the page sex, nice chatty British romances – Trisha Ashley.
How does she feel about married people having sex on the page? Super historical romances, Alice Coldbreath.
I love that I reached 46 before knowing a genre of Christian fiction even existed. Heathen forever and so proud of it.
Any tips for before and after upper bleph? I’m especially interested in anything I can do to minimize the scar in my eyelid crease. My surgery is next week. Thanks!
Silicone scar sheets are probably the best thing you can do for scar treatement (with your provider’s ok). Beyond that I’d make sure you are religious about sunblock for at least the first 6-9 months post-op.
Yes, to sunscreen! And wearing sunglasses/a hat. The new skin on a scar is very prone to sunburn.
Check out @thekerriesmart on IG. She just had it done and has lots of tips.
My teen is learning to drive. It is triggering major anxiety in me. I keep having intrusive thoughts about awful car accidents involving teen drivers, for example. I haven’t experienced something quite like this since I had PPA many years ago and was afraid to drive on the freeway with my infant in the car. We’re doing all the things, like practicing with him, enrolling him in drivers’ ed, etc. Yet I am afraid of something awful happening. During the student/parent orientation for drivers’ ed, we were told that it takes five full years to master driving, plus we learned all the statistics about how many accidents involve teens. Intuitively, I knew that, but having it put in such stark terms did a number on my brain. I accept that fender benders are likely to happen, as I had a couple myself. I’m talking about the accidents that lead to serious injuries or worse.
How do I get over this?
Please be kind, I promise that I’m not vomiting my anxiety all over my teen, OK? I haven’t even shared these fears with my DH because I know I’m not being totally rational.
This is very hard. You’ve listed all the things you’re doing with your teen as they start driving, which is great.
What are you doing for yourself and the anxiety? If you treated your PPA, you could return to those things (meds, therapy, etc). If you didn’t, then you could consider short-term meds or short-term therapy, to soften the anxiety a bit and then provide some specific strategies around this. If you don’t like those options or they don’t make sense for you, try extra exercise to shift some of your brain chemistry.
Anxiety and intrusive thoughts are tough, I know. Sending you a hug.
Thank you. This reaction has surprised me a lot. Usually, my flavor of anxiety is ruminating, not intrusive thoughts, which feel a lot scarier to me.
I’m not Anon 9:47 but want to second their advice. Others are giving good advice on how to actually keep your teen driver safe/help them learn to drive, but it seems to me that if you’re having intrusive thoughts, you probably need to be in “treat the anxiety” mode rather than “my fears are giving me useful information and I should respond to them!” mode. I’d focus on yourself first and once your emotional weather feels a little more under control move on to whether/how to beef up your teen driving rules/protocols (which are pretty reasonable to start with!).
I have no advice but I do want to validate that some anxiety and even fear about a teen driving is normal and okay and probably even necessary as you make decisions about when and where to let your teen drive.
I find myself asking how any of us managed to learn this and do it competently!
I would focus on keeping the kids off highways for as long as you can. Street driving is lower stakes while still teaching excellent fundamentals. Driving in big cities is stressful but good practice, and the risks of a bad accident occuring at 15-20mph are so much lower than at 65 mph.
Yes, and driving with a parent in the car is much less dangerous than driving with friends. Even good kids do reckless things to show off for their friends
I have to say I strongly disagree with this. Big city driving is difficult even for experienced drivers. You need to be on autopilot operating the car and managing typical traffic patterns so you can focus on pedestrians, bikes, jerks running the red light, cars pulling out of alleys, etc. It’s a great way to get a new driver into an accident.
Conversely highway driving is simple. They just need to be conscious when changing lanes and merging.
OP here, and we live in a medium-sized city. We can avoid freeways pretty easily. But I personally grew up in an area where lots of highway driving was required, and while the speed was higher, it was also easier. Not much in the way of traffic, and I learned more about the “feel” of driving that’s really difficult to accomplish in stop-and-go traffic.
Count me among those who finds city driving much more dangerous, but we have a notoriously high level of pedestrian deaths where I live and that’s my ultimate nightmare to hit someone.
Another who’s not sure I agree about city vs. highway driving. My teen had an accident on surface streets when she pulled out from a stop sign and didn’t seen an oncoming car. Similarly, way back when, I had an accident when I turned left at a stoplight in front of an oncoming car.
Honestly, the most important thing for teen driving safety is to be his parent and not his friend. Once he gets that license, there is going to be boundary pushing because he’ll want to go for joyrides with his friends, even if he’s a responsible teen overall. It’s just inevitable. You can do so much to reduce the risk by not allowing certain uses of the car. Your state might have restrictions for young drivers as well. Enforce them.
This
Yes, that’s a good point. DH and I are rule followers, so we will be enforcing the rules for 16-year-old drivers when the time comes.
This. Even if your state doesn’t have leveled licenses, you could mirror some of the restrictions in those states. Like no passengers that are not a parent, no driving after midnight, no phone use (even handsfree can be a distraction). And then graduate to fewer and fewer restrictions at 6 months and 1 year post license.
I like this!
No advice, but just sending hugs because this is hard!
I really love the podcast Flusterclux, and I think they have an episode on this.
I’m not sure what it’s called, but there’s an app you can get that tracks how your teen drives. Might help knowing what’s actually going on.
They have *parent*-driver’s ed class now?!
One thing I’ll say: what made me the most nervous as a new driver was my mother’s extreme reactions to anything remotely off. She’d grimace, suck in her breath, brace her arm against the dash, gasp, etc. Sometimes all at once, sometimes one or two at a time. Please try not to be too reactive…
Kind of a weird question for the hive but I’m going for it.
I work as an independent consultant and one of my clients is a local college. They are on their third leader in four years (retirement of a long-time president A, president B who was there for a few years, now an interim president C who will not apply for the permanent role). I was hired by president B to fix a biiiiiiiig problem having to do with a mismanaged donation — largest in school’s history.
I have come to the point in the project where I will be leading a strategies/tactics session with a cross-functional group. However, it’s come to my attention that there is unclear communication, whispers/rumors, gossip, etc. happening interdepartmentally about the project, about who’s responsible for it, about who made what decision, about reporting structures, etc. Given this, I do not think it would be authentic to force everyone to put on a happy face and fake their way through a guided brainstorm.
There’s also a lot of underlying fear/mistrust based on the number of presidents in the past few years and their different styles/promises/preferences — scar tissue, if you will.
Have you ever been in a session like this where you need to give voice to an elephant in the room before moving forward successfully? What worked and what didn’t? I would ideally like to clear the air but not spend our entire 2 hours together airing grievances. I have some ideas but would love to hear from the smart women on this thread.
Set an agenda and communicate it in advance. I would not address rumor and gossip as an outsider. You are there to move things forward. And send a clear recap email including next steps and who is doing them.
You should definitely acknowledge it. If not it will simmer in the background. Try to give people as much information as possible. Say you know that there were XYZ problems in the past but you will do it in a transparent, uprfront way. If you want to do some type of debrief do it in a structured way, like “start/stop/continue” – look up retro frameworks.
One of my old bosses used to do one 15 minute meeting with each disgruntled person. You could complain all you wanted then, but that was it. It did work but was time consuming.
I’ve never seen a situation like this play out well because there is fear of reprisal no one will officially say anything
I think some version of what you said at the end of the post. Let’s clear the air, but save grievance sharing for another time so we can get some work done in this meeting. Validating people’s concerns goes a long way. Providing clear, direct communication goes a long way. Acknowledging that there is a problem goes a long way. Let the team know that you are aware of the situation, provide space for people to bring their concerns to you (even if it isn’t in this particular meeting), and tell them how you are rectifying the situation to the best of your ability (obviously depends on what and how much power you wield in this role).
I think you can acknowledge that everyone has been through a lot of change in the past few years, while making it clear that you’re there to facilitate the best path forward. If negativity comes out, I think it’s OK to let people acknowledge it and talk through what has and hasn’t worked before, as long as you gently guide people back to the main task at hand.
If you get a lot of resistance and attitude, it’s probably not you. There are elements of your situation that sound an awful lot like my higher-ed workplace. We’re exhausted and feel like we can’t find steady ground, which sometimes comes out in weird interpersonal ways. We’re also extremely wary of consultants who don’t grasp the fact that we’ve been put through the wringer.
This is a situation where I’d work with people one on one and not in a big group all at the same time. There’s no rule that cross functional input has to happen in a big strategy session. Meet with people individually or in smaller groups and start based on what you already know.
I’ve been doing a ton of one on one work, but it’s too late to cancel our team meeting now — and besides, I believe that this group needs to hear all the same thing at the same time. A level-set, if you will.
Can you split it into two sessions? I don’t know how you get past legitimate grievances and fear without first truly acknowledging them. Spending 30 minutes letting them air and then 1-2 week later having the brainstorming session might be more motivating.
I think the current president (regardless of whether they are interim ) needs to ‘own’ this. You’re going to get dragged into the mud. I’ve addressed things like this by working with the primary leader 1:1 and having them either do 1:1’s behind the scenes going into the session; or take their lead on whether they need to clear the air. Focus on what the group wants to happen going forward not rehashing the past.
I would really appreciate hearing any stories from readers who have decided to take on a new challenging job at the same time as handling personal upheaval (e.g. new baby, elder care issues) – what factors you considered, whether you are glad you did/did not move jobs and if you regret the decision, etc. I am unhappy in my current job but it provides the usual mix of stability and flexibility given I’m established there. I have the opportunity to go and work somewhere very different but it would be a big leap and I am handling a lot on the home front right now. Thank you very much!
I have done it previously and recently had the opportunity to do so again and turned it down. In the previous instance, even though the timing was bad I was really ready to move up and chafing at being in the role I was in. And the money was a step up enough that I felt like it would allow for some improvements in my family’s quality of life. There were definitely times where I missed the flexibility, ability to phone it in, etc. of my old job, but overall I’m glad I made the move.
More recently, I had the opportunity again and being in the middle of another round of big life changes (new baby, eldercare issues), I turned it down. The money wasn’t enough that my quality of life would change much and I just value the flexibility and earned trust of my bosses that I have now.
Funny I have had almost the exact same experience! I took a new job coming back from mat leave and it was literally one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. Worked out well in the long-term and I’m glad I did it but it was NOT easy. Ditto on changing into a bigger new role during Covid – it was the right call but required getting us set up with more childcare and automating more home stuff.
I also recently turned down a lateral role (with a raise) because of new, significant elder care responsibilities. I’m better at knowing my limits now and the raise wouldn’t be enough to justify the stress.
I took a huge new job while I was six months pregnant with my third child. Worked a few months, went on mat leave, then came back to work and crushed it while juggling baby and family stuff. If you want the new opportunity, go for it! Apply, see what happens, then make the best decision you can with the information you have at the time. You can arrange your life accordingly.
I turned down a opportunity with something akin to very challenging elder care issues. Even if I could literally get the job done to their standards, it would have taken too much from me and I couldn’t devote myself to it in the way that I want.
When my first child was 9 months old, I got a call from a recruiter about a job that sounded like the perfect next step on my career, albeit a big step up.
I turned the recruiter down a bunch of times but eventually they talked me into an interview. I got the job. It involved travel and my husband (who is now my ex) really had to step up.
But that job change and big rise in pay did more for my career than pretty much anything else I could have done. I have no regrets at all. Don’t sell yourself short! We can do hard things.
I went for a promotion (from individual contributor to manager) while pregnant. I disclosed my pregnancy almost immediately after accepting the new position and went on leave about five months after the promotion went into effect. It worked because I had a new boss start right around the same time as my promotion, and she is someone who I had actively recruited for the job and is hugely supportive of me. I’m doing well in the position and when I have doubts (juggling an expanded role and a toddler is no joke) she’s been very reassuring that she’s very pleased with my work and thinks I’m doing a great job. Her vote of confidence and support has been significant for me.
To yesterday’s USNA poster:
I applied to a service academy 25 years ago. One good way for you to be supportive could be to stay up to date on how each section of her application is going. How’s her training going for the athletic standards? Where in the process are her nomination applications with Congress?
I’d also encourage you to encourage her to pursue an ROTC scholarship at the same time. If she believes she’s competitive for an academy, she’s competitive for a full-ride at a different four-year. She may view ROTC as an inferior runner-up, but ROTC programs are ranked (either officially or unofficially, I can’t recall) and encourage her to research the best Navy ROTC programs. She may be mollified by the idea that if she didn’t get into USNA, she’s going to the very best ROTC program.
Signed,
My body’s not designed to do a pull-up, no matter what a service academy has to say about it, and #1 ROTC was a fantastic experience
This is kind of you but that OP is having a mental health problem that causes her to ruminate over various college entrance scenarios, comparing them to her experiences as a youth and predicting disaster. OP if you’re reading this, please seek help. You should know that you seem obsessive, incoherent and rambling. I’m not a mental health professional so I won’t guess at causes or treatment but PLEASE talk to a mental health professional — help is available & it’s so worth it!
I don’t know why you think you get to diagnose people on the internet, but maybe you should get help with that. Try therapy.
There’s no diagnosis unless the masses who are calling her “College Anxiety Poster” have diagnosed her with anxiety. You are not helping by stigmatizing therapy by acting as if “try therapy” is an insult. It’s a kindness to let her know — “hey, this is not normal” instead of replying to her posts with “what the heck” or “College Anxiety Poster Alert.” Replying to her with actual college information is also not helping and we need to stop!!
We are heading to Boston in a couple of weeks staying at The Ritz. Can y’all help with a nice restaurant and a casual restaurant recommendation? We like everything and will be traveling with our well behaved tweens.
I never miss Beacon Hill Books or their cafe for lunch.
My favorite casual restaurants are in Cambridge/Somerville – Redbones for BBQ and Cambridge Common for American. Cambridge Common is easy walking distance from Harvard Yard, which I imagine you might visit.
Mama Maria’s is very cool given it’s location right next to the Paul Revere house. I also find nice restaurants with familiar food (pasta) easier on my kids. For casual I would suggest something in Chinatown, or hitting the Seaport – lots of easy casual places like BarTaco or Lola plus the brew pubs (Trillium) will be open.
DH and I had dinner at Mama Maria’s for our anniversary last year, and it was one of the top 5 meals I’ve had in the last 3 years. Great setting, great service, great food.
I assume you mean the new Ritz on Dalton St, not the “old Ritz” (which has since been a Taj and is now the Newbury) on the public garden, nor the Ritz residences in the theatre district? On Dalton St there’s a Flour bakery right next to the hotel. Amazing sandwiches and cookies for casual lunch. Some people like their breakfast pastries, but not me. I believe the hotel also has a well regarded restaurant named Zuma and people like the afternoon tea service there. If you want really casual neighborhood-y, I recommend making the walk to Charlie’s Diner on Columbus for breakfast.
Where would you go for a nice lunch in NYC near Union square? Outside counsel is paying so I’m sure she doesn’t want me going bargain basement, but I don’t want to suggest anything too outrageous either.
Union Square Cafe, Gramercy Tavern, Shuko, ABC Cocina or ABC Kitchen
Thanks!
Leon’s
Color advice, anyone??
My skin is freckle colored and hair is a medium brown with some natural goldish tones. I like wearing rich jewel tones like raspberry, navy, and emerald. I have a solid fall and winter wardrobe in colors I feel good wearing, but always have trouble interpreting this color scheme for summer weather. I do like how a light oxford blue looks on me. Anything that gets describes as dusty is a no-go, as is coral, and I am not sure a shade of khaki exists that doesn’t make me look like a corpse. Where do I start so I don’t look like I stepped out of a winter scene into 90 degree weather?
Can you wear true white? That’s one of my staples in the summer as someone who looks best in clear jewel-tones. I also find a saturated blue works like a neutral but flatters my warm pale olive coloring and feels seasonally appropriate.
The Concept Wardrobe will help you figure out your “season” and they have a palette of recommended clothing colors, including neutrals and lighter shades. But you may want to go to a department store, pick a shirt in different versions of each color (like ballet pink vs bubblegum vs magenta), and hold them near your face to see what works best. Once you understand the pattern it’s easier to shop.
Frankly I’ve given up on beige because it’s too hard to get right.
Tell me more about this concept wardrobe! Does this really help with building a wardrobe
I found this really helpful to identify my season and get ideas for clothing color. I don’t pay attention to all of it (I think the pattern stuff is nonsense) and they acknowledge that the recommended palettes aren’t 100% applicable to every person. But it was enough to understand the pattern of what will probably look good on me and what to avoid. https://theconceptwardrobe.com/colour-analysis-comprehensive-guides/seasonal-color-analysis-which-color-season-are-you
You sound like me. My closet is full of blue pretty much no matter what the season. I have plenty of navy or navy and white stripes or patterns, plus turquoise and some lighter blues, they just need to stay bright, not dusty. I don’t see anything wrong with raspberry or emerald either. Summer is a good time for bright colors, other than when you’re in really bright sun and trying to stay cool. Then I usually go for white or light blue or gray.
A chartreuse green maybe?
It sounds like you are cool-toned rather than warm-toned, despite the gold in your hair. I would DIY a color season analysis to determine whether you are a winter (high-contrast cool) or summer (low-contrast cool) and then try colors from the recommended palette. For winter, navy, chartreuse, white, black, pearl grey, cool olive, and icy pastels will work. For summer you also have icy pastels, navy, and white, plus some medium saturated cool colors.
+1, I think I just learned I am a winter from reading the description of best colors. Olive is my personal fave bc so many people think it looks drab on the rack, but sings against my coloring! I would add deep blue-purple and lavender to the list of specific colors to try out if you get bored of blues.
If olive sings on your coloring, you’re likely a winter. Olive has yellow undertones. In most coloring systems, spring and fall has warm undertones, and summer/winter has cool undertones.
However, some people lean more neutral or look good in colors that aren’t totally “theirs.” It’s all an art, not an exact science.
likely *not* a winter.
Yeah, definitely NOT a winter if olive looks good on you.
I’m thinking she’s a Deep Autumn from her self description. Deep autumn has all of these beautiful saturated colors and it makes sense that she doesn’t like “dusty” anything, which is a soft characteristic.
Op google deep autumn and see what you think.
I am very definitely a winter and some khaki and olives look super on me. It depends on how ‘warm’ they are. You have to hold them up to your face and see.
I’m a summer and mostly wear gray and navy as neutrals, but I also find that the right olive works well in pants, not right by my face. I like it better than black, and in outdoorsy clothes, it’s often the best option in a sea of unfortunate browns. They key is to go for a bluer olive rather than a yellower olive.
I’m a cool summer and I swore off olive altogether. Too hard to get right.
I find that the colors I’ve been instinctively drawn to, and away from, for my whole life have turned out to be “my colors” now that I’ve had them done.
Maybe the colors you hate say more than the colors you love – I hate mustard yellow, orange, coral, and warm greens. Always have.
I really think a neutrals wardrobe looks very chic for summer. What are your best neutrals?
Also, navy is the perfect summer color.
Very quick sorting hat:
Do you look best in stark white? Or cream, and all the variations of off-white? If white, you are either a winter or a summer and look best in cool colors. If off-white, ecru, vanilla, beige, tan, etc. then you are a spring or a fall.
If you look best in intense saturated variations of cool colors, you are winter. If you look best in very saturated warm tones, you are a fall. Less saturated, less intense cools are summers; less saturated and intense warms are springs.
I have found that Kettlewell.com has palettes that really show seasons in an understandable way. I can’t speak to their clothes, but their color sorting is really simplified and easy to understand.
Look for light lemon yellow, lilac and cool light pinks. Pistachio and mint.
Interview attire question – I’m doing an in person second interview for a Senior Counsel role at a government-adjacent organization in Toronto (a Crown Corporation, for those in the know). Until this week, I hadn’t interviewed in 11 years. Really excited to be onto round 2 and contemplating wardrobe. I don’t currently own a suit – when I need to dress up I have a nice blazer that I pair with a contrasting dress. In winter I wear opaque tights, summer bare legs. I think I look cute and put together. Mid-30’s.
Is this interview appropriate? I don’t want to seem out of touch either direction…
Depends on the crown corp, some are very formal, some are very chill. I think your dress and blazer inclination is probably a good middle. Closed toe shoes.
Buy a suit, I think.
Is there any reason to keep tax, car, or insurance documents from over 7 years ago? I don’t even have the car in question anymore. I think I just want permission to shred it all. Can I!??!
Of course.
I give you permission to shred!!
Shred! Shred! Shred!
For personal taxes, IRS audit window is 3 years; can’t see any reason to keep them at 7
Sorry to butt in–I’d always thought (heard?) that the audit window for personal taxes was 7 years! Was I misinformed or have things changed? I’d love to get rid of some older paperwork…
I just googled this last week because a coworker was spouting the 7 year thing, and I thought it was ridiculous. Yes, 3 years is how long the IRS site says you have to keep records unless you have specific circumstances.
One of the specific circumstances was “if you’ve filed a fraudulent return, keep records indefinitely” which I found really funny. Because people who are knowingly filing fraudulent returns are worried about keeping the records around forever.
Three years from when you file, so if you file late, you should keep the records longer. And, the default statute of limitations for federal crimes is five years; not sure if tax crimes have longer statutes of limitations, in case the government decides you have engaged in wrongdoing. Maybe that’s why folks suggest keeping tax records for seven years or more.
I am thinking about getting a walking pad for under my standing desk to increase my step count. Has anyone else tried this? Was it successful? Any specific brands/models you would recommend?
Please don’t take camera on meetings while using a walking pad.
Beyond that, I’ve yet to meet someone who actually uses theirs long term.
This is why I miss old-fashioned conference calls. Not everything needs to be on video and people should be free to stand up and stretch or use a walking pad if they want to.
OK but a former colleague used to take video-less con calls on the treadmill, and I will just say huffing and puffing on a conference call when it’s your turn to speak is not more professional than being on video while doing so!
I got a $300 one from A-zn and it does just fine. I use it for camera-off meetings only. I can never figure out how to actually focus and type while walking.
I got one (well a peloton treadmill with a desk lap thing). Use mine a ton – get 15-20k steps daily. Have been using it since I got it 3 years ago. I use it to answer emails; browse corporette, and do easier work tasks. I highly recommend.
Mini rant alert.
One of my firm’s in-house counsel (different department, thank g-d) has begun using AI to answer any and all questions. He apparently no longer thinks for himself. Even when asked a direct question during a meeting about his area of expertise, he will type the question into his LLM tool and regurgitate whatever it spits out. At best, it has pulled up a relevant article and provides a very basic answer without much nuance. Most often, it is meaningless drivel with enough keywords that it sounds relevant if you don’t know anything about the topic. At worst, it is flat wrong and often in risky ways. It doesn’t provide efficiencies that mitigate the risk it introduces, and it just makes someone who I used to perceive as intelligent look dumb and incompetent.
What a strange thing to decide to do!
My company held an actual meeting to announce that you will be held responsible for the AI product you put forth as your own work. I see that was necessary.
I need to spend a week with my kids in a college town with a major medical facility. I’d like the best kitchen any extended stay suite hotel chain has. How much do they vary or do I need to look property by property? I’d like to not have to eat every meal in a restaurant and to have some food there with us. Maybe use paper products and plastic ware. What is good for this sort of stay? No local Airbnb market except at home football games in the fall and graduations.
I love Marriott for this, either Residence Inn or TownePlace Suites. Those two brands are very consistent across sites; obviously, check reviews to ensure you don’t have an outlier.
They have kitchenettes with real plates, mugs, silverware; a dishwasher; a range and pots and pans; and a real fridge and freezer.
A destination university hospital system may be able to advise since it’s a common need. For example if I search for medical stays for Duke I find this list: https://www.dukehealth.org/sites/default/files/extended_stay_options.pdf
+1 asking the hospital is your best bet.
I stayed in the Residence Inn-Watertown in Boston, and it has a full size refrigerator and I think a small cooktop, plus a microwave and dishwasher. I wasn’t cooking myself, but it seemed adequate. The full size fridge is always a plus when traveling with kids.
The Residence Inn has the best kitchens. The dishwasher is great and will help avoid the need for disposable dishes.
Been happy with Courtyard Marriotts if they have that
Residence Inn or Homewood Su-tes have been good for me.
I just stayed at an H2Suites that had a full size fridge, dishwasher, real plates and basic cookware. No cooktop, but you can get a portable burner set-up from the front desk.
I always ask the Patient Concierge office (or the equivalent) at the medical facility, and give specifics about what I am looking for and price range. Otherwise, I choose one of the Marriott extended stay properties as mentioned.
Seconding Residence Inn and H2Suites. One Residence Inn room I stayed in was bigger than my apartment.
I need a simple black blazer and by tomorrow night for a Thursday interview. It’s a casual place – they’ll for sure be in jeans – but I want to wear biz casual dress + blazer. Help? I’m in Boston so I have most major retailers at my disposal. Size 10. I lost a lot of weight and my go-to JCrew Going Out Blazer is wayyy too big (size 16!) and it’s evidently not in stock anywhere (not a summer item I’m guessing..). HELP.
Yikes. If I were in your shoes I would bite the bullet and just head out to the mall and try stuff on.
dept stores near me tend to have some options in stock.
also maybe off the wall, but Express or WHBM tend to have ‘going out blazer’ esque pieces that work well over dresses still!
What are your available large department stores? I’d go there, and ask a salesperson to point you to the clothing lines that would be likely to carry a black blazer at this time of year. Also a good idea to wear the pants that the blazer needs to coordinate with, so you can assess colors and proportions in the moment.
Maybe also hit up Talbots, Anne Taylor, and JCrew, etc. but if you want to be sure, call ahead and find out if they actually have what you’re looking in stock.
It’s going to be hard to find much on short-notice and in-store, but your best bet is to go to a traditional mall with multiple department stores and hit up Nordstrom, Macy’s, etc. until you find something.
I’d either go to the Copley/Pru mall combo and try on whatever is in stock or, if you’re in the suburbs, go to the Street/Chestnut Hill Mall in Newton which together covers Bloomies, Vince, MMLF, Ann Taylor, JCrew, BR, and Talbots
Ann Taylor have 4 styles of standard black jackets in most stores. Go online and take a Quick Look to check stock levels before going to the store.
what would you wear for a corporate headshot? taking them in our office soon. Company policy is avoid busy patterns & white outer layer (since background will be white). It’s definitely a blazer / s-uit vibe.
neutral jacket w/ neutral blouse or w/ colorful blouse?
more statement blazer color w/ neutral under? I’m in marketing so feel like I can be a little more colorful/creative…
What’s your coloring like? Do you have a favorite color that flatters you? I would pick that for the blouse/shell portion of your outfit. The blazer could be black/grey/navy – whichever complements your coloring and the blouse you chose.
I would pick a darker colored blazer and a light colored, not white, blouse. No patterns.
I think simple and polished looking hair, earrings/necklace, and makeup are noticed more than the upper chest/shoulders in headshots, esp if you have long hair.
Solid colors that work with each other and your own coloring, and polished versions of your normal hair and makeup.