Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
M.M.LaFleur's sale section has a lot of new things in the sale, so it's definitely worth checking out. I was JUST noticing yesterday how many brands have double-breasted knit sweaters (I was actually thinking about them for a Hunt), so I'm psyched to see their double-breasted jardigan in the sale.
It comes in black, beige, and this navy/ivory stripe — I think it is the rare double-breasted look that looks nice open as well as closed.
The sweater was $359, but is currently marked to $249, with lots of sizes left in all colors. (Note that unfortunately you can return for store credit only.)
(Also: I did not know MMLF did kids' clothes!! This mini sweater is adorable if you have any well-dressed babies and toddlers in your midst.)
Sales of note for 8/21/25:
- Ann Taylor – $20 sale types (select styles), 25% off tops and sweaters, and extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles with code
- Dermstore – 20% off the Anniversary Edit
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off all sale
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off late summer styles, plus extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything and extra 15% off $100+
- M.M.LaFleur – Up to 70% off new markdowns – try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Neiman Marcus – Last call designer sale! Spend $200, get a $50 gift card (up to $2000+ spend with $500 gift card)
- Nordstrom – 9,800+ new women's markdowns
- Rothy's – Ooh: limited edition T-strap flats / Mary Janes
- Spanx – End of summer sale
- Talbots – 25% off your regular price purchase, also, end-of-season clearance
- Tuckernuck – Sample sale, prices up to 70% off! (Including lots of this bestselling work dress marked to under $75)
I’ve asked this before but late in the morning, so not many responses. Has anyone ever felt like they suddenly were getting a lot more blisters? Is this just getting older? Is there anything to be done about it? I wore a new pair of Rothy sandals yesterday (bought just to be comfortable/soft!) for like a five minute walk and STILL got a blister.
Have your feet maybe gone up a half size and you’re still buying the lower size? Especially likely if you’ve had kids.
Did you give up wearing “hard” shoes during the pandemic and are just now getting back to them? Have you consistently been getting pedicures without doing hard activities to build new calluses on your feet, thereby wearing down whatever toughness you might have had?
There’s no such thing as more blisters for aging – it probably has a very logical lifestyle cause :)
Or a new skin sensitivity cause!
Was it hot and humid, and were you wearing the shoes without socks?
I had the same experience with a new pair of Rothy’s recently (flats, not sandals). Which was not a problem I had with my other two pairs of Rothy’s. So maybe it’s just the shoes.
I tried to replace my worn-out Rothys and discovered that the newer styles come up higher on the achilles tendon, which is bound to cause blisters.
For me this happens with water retention which has a few triggers for me (hormonal, or if I eat something I have a food intolerance to I swell up noticeably). I am not sure if there are other things that can up the odds of a blister, but that’s my pattern.
This is all interesting – thanks for brainstorming it with me!
I just use Body Glide on my heels the first couple of times I wear a new shoe. Once they are broken in a bit they are fine.
I’m at the point with my company and my job where everything is terrible – overall company performance is bad, leadership is out of touch/actively ignoring the problems, my work feels very inconsequential/not worth it. I say to myself “why am I doing any of this, it’s not at all important or meaningful” about 20 times a day. The only redeeming thing about my job is that my paycheck shows up on time on a regular schedule. Otherwise I’d want to do ANYTHING else. If you’ve gotten to this point, how did you cope? It’s really hard to go to work right now and it’s obvious that I’m struggling but I don’t even care enough to pretend better (which I know is a me problem).
I keep going for the paycheck. But I’m also not someone who feels work has to be “meaningful.” The paycheck is the meaning.
This really wears you down though.
I’m someone that can’t work like that. I would start looking for jobs.
Agree. I truly wish I were wired that way. It would certainly make my life better.
Job hunt. Paychecks show up on time elsewhere, too.
What financial goal are you trying to hit? I found it helpful to pay myself $x/per hour that I spent dealing with a bad boss by making a transfer of the relevant amount to my debt in the parking lot before I drove home every day. That was more of a dopamine hit than just making a lump sum payment would’ve been. I only dealt with the bad boss for a few hours a day, so I got to calculate a slightly different amount each day based on how much presence he’d blessed me with each day.
I did have to do some math to make sure I could afford the hourly rate I picked! But this really worked wonders for me.
Vigorously apply to other jobs. I also give myself a deadline for when I can quit, even without another job lined up. The deadline will obviously depend on finances.
Reading with interest because I’m right there with you.
Job search. Change is possible, it just takes persistence and time. Not all companies are terrible.
In the meantime, make time for the things and people you enjoy.
I feel this! I have been job hunting for over a year now and am getting lots of interviews but no offers. (I’m in a niche nonprofit role, not willing to relocate, and am old/senior enough that there are just not that many good options for me that wouldn’t mean a big pay cut). At least in NYC, the job market right now is objectively awful too – it is very much a buyer’s market. We have really wildly overqualified people applying for the openings in my department right now.
I am lucky that the org’s work is somewhat meaningful to me; it just could be a lot better. And I like most of my coworkers a lot – that is the saving grace. Hang in there.
Not sure what field you are in, but in many fields just having a solid job likely to carry you during the current economic situation is itself a win. And in most industries, I would not switch jobs and be the last person hired/most likely to be laid off.
What do I wear to spectate at a golf tournament? I am a city dweller who does not own gear for golf or tennis or anything preppy and I do not wear shorts. I’d be willing to purchase a polo, I guess, but I’m not sure if that is right or what kind of pants. Is there a dress equivalent?
Cotton or linen dress and sneakers for sure
Thank you. I think I have something appropriate!
Hat or visor. Sunglasses also. Small purse or clear bag
Thanks. I’ve been caught up in the bag rules at other events so the reminder is helpful
Cotton or linen dress as mentioned. I also saw a lot of athleisure dresses or skirt/shirt combos when I went to the one held in our town a few weeks ago. It is super hot, so cool fabrics are key.
If anyone is still following the tragedy at Camp Mystic, parents of girls who died testified in front of Texas legislators this week and it’s pretty clear they’re gearing up to sue the camp into oblivion. There was some talk here and on the moms page about how the families were loyal to the camp because of the long history and devotion over generations and how most would go back if it reopened, but that looks all gone to me. The parents of both of the counselors who died have written op-eds this week describing the failures of camp leadership and the utter lack of preparation. The flood plan recovered from one of the counselor’s trunks was “shelter in place. All cabins are in a high, safe location” when the camp knew they were in floodways. Other parents and relatives on message boards have indicated that there is growing evidence of extreme negligence and willful disregard for safety (as indicated by the repeated lobbying efforts to remove the camp buildings from the flood zones in FEMA maps, etc.). They report that many families have already retained counsel. Meanwhile, the camp itself put out the lamest statement ever that will probably only incense families more. That camp is done for and all I’m hoping for at this point is that the new safety regulations (passed in Texas after the parent testimonies) will prevent this tragedy from ever happening again.
Texas will never pass safety legislation, that’s a pipe dream.
The state House and Senate already have. The final version isn’t worked out yet.
Here in Austin we have been inundated with stories, articles, etc. about this tragedy. It is impossible to look away from, both in real life (my neighborhood is covered in green ribbons) and on social media (filled with posts about the children, especially a few whose families are in my outer circle). It was horrific six weeks ago, and continues to be especially today as snippets of the parent testimony come out. One thing no one has mentioned yet is that this was not the first time Mystic flooded, or the first time there was a loss of life from flooding. Nothing will bring those sweet children back, or any other person who was lost that night, so I am thankful at least some awareness has come from this, as well new discourse on the importance of safety and evaluation measures.
This is tough. I grew up in the area and we all knew about the bus that tried to evacuate and got swept away. I think that’s one of the reasons everyone said stay put. This was such an unprecedented flood.
Good for the families. This shows why we need a functioning tort system without mandatory arbitration, immunity, and other barriers to recovery. Maybe some eye-popping judgments will make other camp managers take safety more seriously.
I haven’t been, but they should sue. This is small town good old boy politics that was about saving them money. They chose not to be prepared because they wanted to make more money. Hopefully parents will also force other camps to get inspected or licensed with a viable crisis plan to operate.
I live in Houston and have been following closely. What exactly is suing the camp going to accomplish at this point? A family in our community is the aunt/uncle of the little girl who was away (at a different camp) whose parents and brothers died while on vacation in the area. She just started 3rd grade at an area school. It’s all so heartbreaking. i also think the government is culpable. We had other friends who were vacationing in the area, staying with friends who own a home in the area with a landline, and none of their cell phones nor the landline received any sort of notification until 9am Sunday morning.
I think the motivation probably comes from wanting to hold someone/some entity accountable for some really tragic deaths. I completely understand the impulse behind it.
As a former litigator, I am usually very, very, very resistant to litigation in most cases for “normal” people seeking retribution (it almost never has the desired result, takes too long, can be wildly unpredictable, is expensive, is emotionally difficult etc.). But here, I fully support — primarily as a cautionary tale for other camps in the area with the same “good ole boy, we do what we want, we’ve been here forever, we’re above the law/nature” mentality. The kids’ safety wasn’t sufficient to actually put in the infrastructure for flood warnings and to not build cabins in obvious floodplains, maybe the risk of losing the land/money from litigation will be.
I volunteer a lot in scouting and we get so much pushback from PARENTS about safety. It is shocking. No one wants to do medical forms. I think many kids are bringing undeclared meds. One mom wanted me to have a small burner in her kid’s tent at night. And yet if anything went wrong, it would be my fault.
Everyone wants safety but for someone else to magically do the work with no support (or funding).
If the camp ever reopens, which I don’t think it will, the lawsuits can force change to their cabin siting and safety policies. The local or national government isn’t to blame in the case of Camp Mystic (I’m not commenting on blame for any of the other individuals who died along the river). Maybe they’re not perfect, but the camp failed at every step of the way and was stone-cold negligent. There’s a lot to it that’s beyond the scope of a post here, but knowingly letting young girls sleep in cabins in floodways while a flood watch was on while also having the only “evacuation” policy be “stay where you are” is horrific to think of. Every life could have been saved with ample time to spare if they had a) evacuated to high ground the night before or b) evacuated on foot to high ground the moment the flood warning was received at 1:14 am on July 4.
Yup, this. The camp owners stuck their heads in the sand and lost their lives, and many others’ lives, in the process. It’s an appalling level of negligence. At first, I was like, “horrible things happen sometimes and it was an act of nature.” The more I learn about it, the clearer it is that Mother Nature was furious AND many, many people failed at following basic precautions.
Only one owner/member of the family died. Two other family members (his sons) were assisting in the chaos and it’s unclear where any other adults were besides a maintenance worker who is credited with saving lives in one cabin.
Wow. People who owned the camp died too. I don’t think litigation is bringing anyone back and sometimes things are just tragic. I hate the American impulse to sue over everything. Doesn’t help anyone move on and heal.
Strong disagree. The deaths were preventable, and camps need to know they will be held accountable if they fail to implement basic safety measures. The other camps on the same stretch of river that were accredited (safety plans are part of the accreditation process) were able to evacuate in a timely manner and no one died.
At some point, many deaths are preventable. And yet we build dams and skyscrapers knowing people will die building them. I don’t know if we can ever reconcile this.
Helping people move on and heal is not the purpose of the tort system. Fear of tort losses is pretty much the only mechanism we have left to motivate people to act safely, since we don’t regulate enough or enforce the regulations we do have.
No, it’s not “just tragic.” It’s preventable.
Those owners willingly took that risk, their staff and campers did not.
This is well said.
It’s just not logical that they’d knowingly take a risk that would cause their own loss of lives, those of other and destroy their legacy. It’s tragic and sometimes tragedies are just that.
They would absolutely take the risk. They gambled that a low-risk (flood of that size), high-consequence event would never happen because it kept $9M a year in camp tuition rolling in. They lost.
Litigation doesn’t help bring anyone back, but it could save future lives. The post above at 3:50 is exactly how I feel about it, too. Sometimes freak, unpredictable bad things happen, but this one was foreseeable in a macro sense and the loss of life on this scale was pure hubris and human error. The lack of preparedness and lack of prompt response is unconscionable.
Good. Sue them into oblivion. Whatever happens to the camp is nothing compared to what those families will endure for the rest of their lives.
Maybe I’m just cynical but so what if the camp (and other local areas) do pass guidelines requiring evacuation when the flood warning sounds? All that’s going to happen is that there will be a lot of false alarms forcing people to evacuate when it turns out the flood isn’t as bad as predicted, and people will get tired of the “government oversight making us do all these things that we don’t need” and eventually there will be a push back against safety precautions until the next fatal disaster.
Yup. And people die evacuating over low water crossings. I can almost guarantee you that until this horrible, horrible incident, most people who died in Hunt died on low water crossings.
It wasn’t just about the evacuation procedures, though. Those cabins should never have been located where they were.
Yeah, but that’s a different question. I was responding to the siren comment.
If it were just about evacuations, I would agree – it’s actually a really hard public safety decision to decide when to call for an emergency evacuation (for anything! floods, hurricanes, even airplanes) because there are known, non-trivial risks to evacuating (and yes, fatalities), and it’s unreasonable to not second-guess that call.
But this situation seems different, because the root of the problem isn’t the “shtf, do we evacuate right now or not”, it’s that there was *no* rational emergency flood planning, and the camp *knew* the cabins were in a flood plain. This was predictable, not just “fallible people did the best they could in an impossibly difficult situation”.
Suing won’t bring the victims back, may or may not bring the families comfort, and honestly probably won’t have an impact on this particular camp’s safety in the future (unless they’re total sociopaths, these people are going to be wildly cautious about flood safety going forward), but the main impact it does have is improved safety standards that the *insurance* companies start to enforce. And we need that.
And we could say that about every safety precaution. Few people on the aggregate die in planes, trains, and cars too, but we use those tragedies to spur safety interventions. This is the overall issue with prevention — you don’t know it worked because it worked. For every person who complains, there’s also someone who thinks about that tragedy and decides it’s not worth the risk.
This is a very comprehensive timeline of events that is pretty damning for Camp Mystic: https://www.reddit.com/r/KerrCountyFloods/comments/1lxcep8/blame_the_camp_mystic_tragedy_on_gross_negligence/
I skimmed but weren’t the warnings basically “it might rain 6 inches”? That doesn’t seem to portray the severity of what was about to happen.
This.
The flood warning at 1:14 am warned of “life-threatening flash flooding.” The warnings were repeated with increasingly dire language throughout the morning. The owner waited well over an hour after that warning to even BEGIN to respond – in which time the entire camp could have marched on foot half a mile uphill to safety. Despite the cabins being in a flood way, despite the camp’s FEMA lobbying, and despite the lack of a flood warning system on the river, that action would have saved every life, if only the camp had had a plan to do it.
To be fair, maybe Texas issues them on different criteria, but I get 10-20 “life threatening flash flooding” alerts per year and the VAST majority of the time there are no actual death, and when they are, it’s people who drove through a flooded road. That phrasing reads like a reminder for tourists (don’t drive into flooded roads!) to me, not an actual emergency alert. “Get to higher ground now” means it’s time to move.
It should have read as an emergency alert to camp leadership who were fully aware young girls were sleeping in a floodplain that had flooded before, though. Even if it had been a false alarm, a fun sleepover on higher ground would have been a great option for those girls.
Reading this, they should have started a systematic process to move everyone to the highest point at 1 am. Had it been a false alarm, the worst thing that would have happened is they spent the night in a hall.
The girls that survived are actually lucky those teenagers didn’t listen to the stay in place advice and evacuated as many of them as they could. It was their collective calm response that saved so many, not the adults who were responsible.
Exactly. If those teenagers hadn’t acted, entire other cabins would have been lost. The fact that the death toll wasn’t astronomically higher is due to them, not Camp Mystic.
I was one who doubted the camp would be held accountable and I will be really glad to be wrong about that.
On a purely practical level, their liability insurance companies will pay out their limits, which is unlikely to be nearly enough to pay the settlement value of the claims (based on my educated guess on what those limits probably are). The plaintiff attorneys swarming the area will collect their 40%. The families will get some amount that will not help their grief even a tiny amount. The corporation that owns the camp will declare bankruptcy and either liquidate or reorganize depending on whether there was flood insurance on the buildings. (If they did not have flood insurance, it is not likely they will have the money to re-build and I question the value of the land given its flood history.).
People always think that litigation will result in some kind of closure or change, but that almost never actually happens outside of product liability cases (and often not then if the product makes enough money to offset the litigation expenses). That is particularly the case here where the other camps in the area apparently did take better safety precautions and therefore have no lesson to learn.
I would be happy to be wrong; but I have litigated this dance way too many times. (Although to be VERY clear I am not licensed in Texas and have no involvement with this case in any way.)
Some of the other camps had better safety precautions and some just got lucky. Heart O’ The Hills was basically destroyed and the director was killed, but wasn’t in session. Camp La Junta had no loss of life through some miracle, given that young boys were trapped in the rafters with floodwaters touching their feet and had to swim out to safety. Camps on the North Fork were less badly hit (including Camp Waldemar). Mo Ranch Presbyterian evacuated the night before and probably saved lives. There are a lot of lessons for all of them to learn – at Camp La Junta, for example, the electricity was wiped out quickly and the loudspeaker system the camp had been planning to use was down.
Also, Texas Monthly had an article over a decade ago about the bitter legal battles within the Eastland family over the land Camp Mystic is on. It’s worth a ton. It eventually settled with $10M in legal fees all around.
Yes, I highly recommend the other, earlier, Texas Monthly article about the family in-fighting over ownership of the land versus the camp. These people are wealthy, wealthy, people and this land is worth a fortune. They can afford to rebuild.
And I was just reading about Mo Ranch, it sounds like they attribute most of their good fortune to a single person who was monitoring the forecast and alerted others despite a lack of official warnings. It reminds me of Five Days at Memorial, the book about the hospital in New Orleans during Katrina – there’s a section that contrasted their (horrible) management with another inundated hospital and how the outcomes were so different. Good leadership is so critical in these situations.
I think litigation helps a state or local agency clean up it’s act. I don’t know how state immunity works in Texas, but there seems to be a lot of agency misconduct, including not issuing warnings in a timely and effective manner, and in issuing the amendments to the flood plain map that let the camp escape insurance company pressure to make the property safer.
Texas has a very strong governmental immunity statute. I very much doubt they will pay a penny or that there is a claim that would survive summary judgment.
I may repost on Monday…
I’m looking to essentially rebuild my wardrobe with a 70/30 focus weighted toward work clothes as I get going. I am starting new very senior job ~10/1, I’ve lost almost 80 lbs in the last 16 months and just need a full refresh going in to the fall. I’m 40. I appreciate clean, classic lines; nothing too trendy but want to look modern, polished.
My dream would be capsule-esque, coordinated outfits. I don’t need designer but also I can appreciate a nice splurge piece that gets use, too – maybe an extra nice blazer or dress here and there in my closet. Otherwise, I’m totally happy with JCrew, for example.
Where do I start? I adored Trunk Club (sob). Is this what a Nordstrom shopper can help me with? Idk why I’m so skeptical about them – probably in part because no one who helps me on the floor ever looks remotely like me, either in age, presentation or overall style. I also find their in-store inventory somewhat underwhelming, but then their online inventory is brutally overwhelming, and also online pushes some really over-marketed brands (Tory Burch comes to mind…) that just don’t do it for me.
What’s a girl to do?
What is your general size and body type?
5’7″, size 10.. probably 8 at this point? 160 lbs and carry most of it in my lower abdomen (thanks pregnancy, c sections and weight loss!).
I am 5’5”, 155, size 8 with the same abdomen.
If you want an easy button, get a bunch of stuff from Tuckernuck and JCrew on sale over Labor Day weekend.
ooh, tuckernuck wasn’t on my radar but should be. I feel like there’s a whole wide world of brands and shopping and styles I’ve never had on my radar having been a stubborn 14/16 for most of my professional life!
Can you give us an example of a person whose style you admire? For example, I’m a big fan of most of what Kate Middleton/Meghan Markle wear, even though I’m not those body types, I try to channel the looks in ways that work for me.
I owned a handful of MMLafleur in my former larger size, Boden and Jcrew, too.
I guess I love Clare Underwood, Olivia Pope…. clean, crisp. Not afraid of color, but definitely identify most directly with neutrals and black (maybe because of my former size…). I just don’t want to scream crazy trendy 40-year-old-trying-to-look-20-something. I’m very senior, pretty high power and need to reflect that! A lot of that is in tailoring, and I’m not afraid to take that step with the right pieces once I rebuild.
This look is 100% The Fold. I went to the London store last December and left spending more than. I ever had in one sitting and then doubled with an online order (and I wear a uniform !). It’s sorcery and worth every penny. I am now committed to just going to London every year for my birthday to a refresh and buying trip.
If you post a burner, I’ll contact you with a very specific recommendation for a stylist who works remotely. I’d rather not post the person here, because the last time I did that, a rather unpleasant connection followed, and I don’t want to wander into that territory again.
I don’t have a burner… do you? I can make one if I figure it out. please check back – i will work to figure it out!
Ok – that was a lot easier than I thought.
corp burner 123 (one word) at the mail of goo gle.
Thank you!
HI! I’ll send you an email soon about that stylist.
J Crew quality has gotten somewhat better recently, so it’s worth a look. Also try Brooks Brothers and MMLaFleur for basics and The Fold for something more unique. For fun blazers check out Veronica Beard, Cinq a Sept, and L’Agence. I see people wearing interesting dresses and suits from Hugo Boss, but they might be older styles because when I shop the brand all I find is weird stuff. At a senior level I think it’s helpful to show a little personality. If you want to go with basics, they need to be of high-quality fabric, well-made, and tailored for a perfect fit.
For workwear I gave up on the “capsule” concept and just buy whole outfits. This blazer goes with these pants and these two tops. The only exception is my black notch-collar MMLF jardigan, which goes over most of my dresses.
Ba&sh is another higher-end brand.
Personally I find Bloomingdales to be the best selection and easier to navigate than Nordstrom, both online and in the store.
Look at Evereve. I really like how they style outfits on their site. So many things I would love to copy + paste.
Evereve is no good for workwear, especially for a senior woman. The last time I was there they were trying to sell track pants made of pinstripe suiting as workwear.
I would look at Max Mara, Boss, Lafay-tt- 148, Veronica Beard, Hobbs (sold at Bloomie’s), NM house brand cashmere, for step-up-from-JCrew quality for work. Vince and rag & bone also have some surprisingly neutral work pieces among trendy casualwear. I recently sampled a Frame blouse and was pleasantly surprised. Watch the sale cycle, though – no way was I paying $400, but end of season $100, absolutely.
But also, there’s nothing wrong with JCrew, they just don’t tend to have a lot of what you’re looking for in-store.
The last time I updated my work wardrobe, I found it helpful to adopt a specific palette of neutrals and accent colors; that way I ended up with fewer closet orphans, and it was faster to get to a usable critical mass of new pieces.
Bringing back the topic of throwback music, what are you loving and what is exciting you?
I am living for Adam re-joining Three Days Grace, it’s making my teenage dreams come true.
There’s a Spotify playlist called Xennial Workout Mix that I listen to when I strength train and it’s basically a dance party of straight jams from the 80s, 90s, and 2000s.
1984 Xennial checking in here, will be adding that to my list ASAP.
I posted about this in cmoms earlier this week but didn’t get many responses. Looking for ideas for November/December trips in places that aren’t freezing (doenst need to be particularly warm – just over 30/40 degreees). With elementary kids. We aren’t big beach people so that’s out. Bonus points if not a huge jet lag (we are in EST)
that is a surprisingly larger amount of the US than you might think. Like Nov and Dec in Philly are often in the 50+ mark.
What about somewhere like Costa Rica – tropical adventure more than “plop down on a beach”?
Even the Chicago area is usually above 40 in November.
Yeah, in Michigan I don’t usually put my garden hose away until Thanksgiving, because we are still doing bonfires in the backyard well into November.
South America is awesome from the East Coast, the time change is zero to two hours max. I’ve taken kids to Argentina which was amazing and Chile is also good, and Brazil might work too. If they can handle a red-eye flight think about it, it’s so fun to leave winter and go to summer and it’s not as heavy of a lift as trying to get to Australia/New Zealand.
Can you say more about Argentina with kids? I hope to go soon. Although I would go during our summer/their winter because I’m a heat and humidity hater.
New Orleans? Bayou tour, jazz, WWII museum, different cuisine.
Your weather constraints don’t really rule most of the US or Europe, so maybe tell us a bit more about what you like? What have your favorite family vacations been?
Anyone got a little low stakes gossip to share on this summer weekend?
I have gossip that I wish I knew more details. A long-tenured, prominent person at our company just left, but it was “a surprise”, “happened quite fast”, “we’re assessing the immediate gaps in coverage”.
It sounds like their boss wasn’t even in the loop, but the way the departure happened is in line with what happens when someone is fired for performance.
So I don’t know if this person rage-quit or got fired or what, but SOMETHING HAPPENED and no one will share details via messenger, so I’m going to have to find someone with details next time I go into the office.
And now there’s a low-key conspiracy theory that this person leaked company information to the press, so maybe that’s why they got fired. It’s been a whole bunch of drama about internal leaks, with speculation about who’s leaking, and it would be an excellent turn of events if it turns out that it was this prominent person who just suddenly is no longer at the company.
A couple I know just got engaged, and I am so nervous for the woman. The last time I talked with him, he said that he wasn’t able to ‘feel love as a feeling’ but that he collected data points to decide who to date. He was still unsure about her the last time I spoke with him a year ago, but said he was hopeful that with his back against the wall and no exit options (they’d just moved in together), he would finally be able to feel sure about her. But he said that he was constantly comparing her to other women and wondering what was out there. Also expressed that he asked her for a threesome and would prefer to be non-monogamous, among a litany of other things. Hoping he has truly changed, because she is a really sweet woman.
Sounds awful, but I’m convinced these people are born this way. We all make our tradeoffs.
1. I’m planning to move in with my long-time partner soon, but I haven’t told my long-time roommate as she’s going through a rough breakup.
2. A friend of a friend eloped with another person after cancelling a large (400 person+) wedding a few months out. I’m dying for more information!
With a different person? How long have they been together before eloping? And why did they cancel the other wedding? This is great gossip.
I just went through something similar in terms of telling the roommmate you’re moving out. The more notice you give, the better it’s received. I gave 7 months, which isn’t necessary, but 3 or more months I think makes it so they can digest the news and incorporate it, but not feel shocked. If you can wait a few weeks while she heals, but still give many months in advance notice, she should take it okay.
My friend and her husband are so ill-matched. He couldn’t find initiative in a paper bag and doesn’t care to make anyone else’s life easier. She has to ride his *ss to get anything done (trust me on this one), but then the problem is she can’t turn it off and stop hounding him about dumb stuff that doesn’t matter. Their vibe is so, so toxic and I think it’s creating unhealthy patterns in their five-year-old.
I’m curious for lawyers and other white collar professionals, what the culture is like regarding weed if you live in a state where it’s legalized recreationally.
I was recently in a state where you can even get a THC drink at the bar. I’m not someone who has ever really dabbled beyond a gummy here or there, but I decided to try a daytime mint and had a great experience.
This got me thinking. We’d all consider it perfectly polite conversation to tell a colleague, even a boss, about a wonderful new wine you tried. I can’t imagine ever going to work and say I had this great cannabis strain!
There are law firms with entire cannabis practice groups. Is recreational use less taboo there? Less taboo in recreational states? Or do you still keep it a secret if you use?
This is a wonderful question! I had never even thought about it, but now I am curious!
I’m in a state where it’s been legal for recreational use for over a decade and I still get a little weirded out talking to colleagues about it. I’m not judging other people who do it, but I still feel like it’s not something I should talk about. It’ll take a long while for it to feel normal, I think!
It would be like admitting you sat around all weekend eating Cheetos and watching the Real Housewives. Not fireable, for sure, but also not the “done” thing. My office skews snobby, though.
I would not mention it. Cannabis is not in the same category as wine. Opinions differ, and why rock the boat at work. That would be dumb unless you knew the other person like a friend.
With wine you can at least pretend that you are appreciating the taste and not drinking it to get plastered. The only purpose of THC is to get stoned.
don’t people self medicate, to reduce stress, wind down etc?
I feel like saying everyone does it to get stoned is probably similarly oversimplifying as saying every wine drinker is looking to get shit faced.
I’m not sure I understand your comment. Wine drinkers claim to like fine wine because of the complexity of its taste. There is no equivalent claim for weed.
Right, there isn’t anyone claiming to enjoy the aroma of weed, they take it to feel the effects. But I was making the distinction that the description getting stoned is the extreme end that getting sh!t faced is for alcohol. There is a spectrum of imbibing.
still doesn’t mean I’d gab about it at work, tbf
while use isn’t exactly taboo, it’s kind of hard to parse why it feels different to talk about, and I think it’s because discussion of weed or related edibles people usually focus on the great high, but if you’re talking about wine or a drink, it’s about how delicious it was – not how buzzed you got / stayed.
The “moms need wine” culture isn’t about the taste. Neither is the “I just love a glass while cooking dinner” crowd.
When MJ was legalized in my state I had a lot of cognitive dissonance between enjoying it and feeling like I was doing something horrible to my kids and my future. I wound up realizing that was a lot of how it has been taught, but also because the penalties for being caught with it used to be relatively large, particularly for a licensed professional. You had to know or seek a criminal in order to purchase it. Because it wasn’t regulated you had no idea what was actually in it, and fentanyl etc was a big concern. All of those reasons went away once it was legalized. I still don’t think you should drive on it or give it to people under 25, but I think there’s going to be a lot of reassement in the coming years, especially once it can be studied at the federal level to see what the effects are on your health and how it compares to alcohol.
But yea for now probably not best to discuss unless you know your audience really well.
FWIW, I would say that mommy wine culture is also not the way to talk about drinking in the office – for the same reason above, it’s too much about the buzz.
Wine also has long European cultural traditions going back centuries, and for better and worse, knowing good wines is a signifier of class or cultural exposure. Recommending cannabis products doesn’t usually evoke a rich cultural heritage. For the over-40 crowd, cannabis evokes smoking pot in secret, which is how most 40+ somethings first encountered cannabis.
It’s interesting that heavy drinking was hugely encouraged at my firm / getting smashed at summer events was par for the course. A lot of discussions among younger colleagues revolved around drinking.
But I doubt they’re handing out gummies the way they did shots…
I’m a no on discussing in the workplace.
Thanks for the replies. I’m in a state where it is not legal, so I’m definitely not discussing it at work. I was just curious if it was different for people in states where it seems to be part of the culture. So many dispensaries in the same downtown walking area!
TLDR: Is carrying a backpack on one shoulder any more ergonomic than carrying a tote bag?
I am recovering from a shoulder injury that I think at least partially was caused by the way I carry my tote-style laptop bag. I was considering getting a laptop backpack but is that really going to be better for my shoulder if I only sling it on one shoulder? I have a car commute so the time that I am carrying my work bag is pretty minimal. I don’t think I am likely to put the backpack on both shoulders most of the time because it will wrinkle clothes.