Coffee Break: Ella Print Tote
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This Tory Burch tote has been a great option for years, and I'm loving all the new prints I'm seeing.
The nylon bag is, of course, a classic — I think it's been around since the inception of the blog — and while the large logo isn't for everyone, a lightweight but sturdy bag like this can be a great option to carry to work if you want to keep the load light.
That said, I primarily remember seeing black, navy, and other solid colored totes — I can't remember seeing so many fun prints. This black and white graphic one is probably my favorite — wear it with a black and white jacket with a contrasting pattern (like a houndstooth or plaid) for an instant dose of chic, or try pairing a plain black jacket with another accessory like a scarf in a contrasting black and white pattern.
The pictured bag is $280, but there are a lot of options to choose from (as well as the basic solids!), some marked as low as $168.
Sales of note for 9/5/25
- Nordstrom – Summer sale has started, up to 60% off top brands
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including new arrivals
- Anthropologie – 30% off clothing and accessories
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- J.Crew – Everyday styles from $34.50 — see our full roundup of what to buy for work at J.Crew
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off fall faves + extra 60% off clearance
- L.K. Bennett – 20% off all new-season
- Nordstrom Rack – Season Closeout: extra 40% off select clearance dresses, sandals, shorts, and swimwear(ends 9/11)
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance sales
- Soma – 5 panties for $39 + 35% off 3+ styles + buy 2 get 3 free panties — readers love these PJs and these no-VPL panties
- Talbots – 25-40% off select fall styles + extra 30% all markdowns — here are all the reader favorites at Talbots
- White House Black Market – 50% off all sale styles (ends 9/5)
How’s the quality on Garnet Hill’s clothing? And for tall women, does it hang weird? (I’m 5’10)
Good quality. Can’t speak to your second question.
I’m 5′ 9” and the cashmere sweaters/socks are great; so cozy!
They don’t put inseam lengths on their website so I’ve never ordered anything other than a sweater or socks.
Love their cashmere scarves.
I am 5’6″ and long-waisted with a straight figure. I’ve always found it to hang weirdly with a lot of excess fabric under the arms.
Good quality. You will pay to have it shipped to you, and if you need to return you will pay to have it shipped back.
Good quality, and Same height and all sweaters, dresses fit well.
Except, pajamas were short. Order those from Gap or JCrew instead.
Gap has Talls in PJs (need for tall daughter).
For those of you who have dresses from The Fold, how well is this likely to fit on a 5-4 woman who is pear-shaped? Maybe go with a structured fabric (like a twill) vs a knit? This dress ticks a lot of boxes for me. Link below.
This is the dress:
https://thefoldlondon.com/product/auletta-jersey-dress-black/
I would say it depends on your proportions in height more than width.
I’m taller than you but short-waisted, and on me the waist on these kinds of dresses from The Fold hits me far below my natural waist and is very unflattering. If you have a longer torso, you’ll do better with this than with a shorter. You’ll probably have to hem the dress unless you want it as a maxi, The Fold silhouette is tall. I don’t think their clothes are particularly busty, so you’ll be all right in terms of bust and hips. Arms will probably be need to be scrunched up a little.
+1, I am a human corgi. I prefer buying their tops to their dresses.
Is a black suit one of those basic things I “should” replace when it wears out? I’m an academic and I wear suits 2 or 3 times a week; it’s not a requirement but I love wearing them. My workhorse black blazer is starting to pill at the shoulders. Should I get a new black suit? I have three suits in good condition in the classic suit category (if you will): navy, pinstriped, and gray (although this one doesn’t fit as well as it did before I had kids).
(I have several other suits are that are perfectly professional but more on the fun end of the profession suit spectrum. Maybe another way of putting it–is it possible to veer too far in the fun suit direction?)
Yes, I think.
If you have anything somber, are your fun suits going to be up to the task? Or do you need a black one? Typing to you in the surprise purchase black funeral dress I bought in 2021 because I had comfort-fooded out of my prior one.
I’d skip it. I think black professional suits are tough to do well, and you have other basic suits in your wardrobe should you need one.
On me, after about age 30, a black suit read more as “banquet server” than “competent professional”. Your mileage may vary.
I think you have found words for my feelings about a black suit, thank you! My black clothes generally get a lot of wear (color is good on me, it’s fast to put on, etc.) but lately I’ve been feeling that I don’t like the suit as much as I used to, so I’ve hesitated to replace it.
I agree with this. If not “banquet server,” then “funeral.”
I use black blazers with gray or tweedy pants frequently but as a full suit, nah.
Since you’re voluntarily wearing suits merely because you like them, not wearing them to meet a dresscode, I’d say you should only buy a black suit if you enjoy wearing a black suit more than some other color. Since all this is voluntary, veer in the direction of what you enjoy and like.
In academia, you can generally wear what you please, so long as it’s clean and reasonably professional.
Buy the new black suit if you enjoy it. Wear fun suits if you prefer those.
My one word of warning is that you see your students 1-3 days per week. If there is a fun suit that you wear every third week, for example, it may be noticed if you wear it when you have the same students. The seminar meets once per week and Prof. Nutoqw has worn her flamingo pink suit twice in the last four meetings.
Yeah- academia is usually pretty relaxed, though it depends on the uni/department.
In math and engineering ‘clean and reasonably professional’ are perhaps aspirational instead of standards .
Haha… I do have a hot pink linen suit that I’m careful to wear once a semester for this exact reason. :) The weather lines up with my once a semester approach so it’s perfect.
If you like wearing suits and wear then several times per week, then I think a black suit is a good investment and likely will get lots of use. The wear on your current black blazer supports that you like and wear black.
If you wear your current one that much, sure!
Black isn’t my best color so I don’t wear it that often, especially not as a top. Most of my suits are worn as separates these days anyhow, so I would be more likely to go for an interesting blazer than a full suit myself.
For people who have gotten college counselors for their kids, talk to me about that. I have a junior and it seems that I’ve missed the boat locally for the “good” counseling outfit; their roster of juniors is already full. I think we have explored her areas of career interest and have visited some large, medium, and small colleges, along with taking the SAT already. I think she is really just looking at maybe 10 schools in our quadrant of the country that mostly in the 25%-75% admit rate range (maybe harder for programs like engineering, accounting, and nursing). I was thinking I was reaching out early for help with the actual application over the summer (so it is done the minute the common application opens up) and am really surprised that either we can’t find good local help (or zoom help @ 20K (I had been thinking it might be 5K)). I’d love not to hound my kid about her application, but not enough to outsource it for 5 figures. You can tell that I work mainly with guys (who are decades younger) and clearly don’t know or talk to enough local moms. I am thinking I can just wing it but I also have a younger kid and am feeling so not up to this. What do families actually do? Their school is so big and counselors there don’t even know the 100s of kids they are assigned.
Is your daughter smart and self reliant? I’m in my 20s so recentish experience with this and I had no parental help or hired help I just looked it all up myself and wrote all the necessary applications/documents etc. It’s really not that hard for an independent junior to do themselves.
Agreed. Maybe this is harsh but my kids will likely be auto-accepted to a state school based on their high school coursework, and my feeling is that if they care enough to want to go elsewhere, they should do the work of the application. If they can’t even be bothered to apply to college, why should I be paying upwards of $40k per year for them to attend?
25% vs 75% admit rate is wildly different. If the schools she’s interested in are mostly closer to the latter and her grades and SAT score are in range, the application is a formality and you definitely don’t need any paid help with it.
I think if your range is 3×25% and 4×25%-50% and 3×50%-75%, then maybe just add a few more in the 25%-50% or try to refine those and have some safeties she’d truly be happy at and have her do her best.
The same amount of nagging is required to finish the common app no matter where the kid is applying.
No, not really. A certain degree of nagging is required (at least for some kids) no matter where you apply, but there’s a huge difference between trying to get something done vs trying to get it done well.
If the schools you’re applying to have a 75% acceptance rate, and you have a solid GPA and SAT relative to their average, trust me, no one is going to do more than glance at the rest of the app. It might literally not be read. It has to be submitted but the quality truly does not matter. But obviously for more selective schools the quality of the overall application will matter a lot.
I used one mainly because i didn’t want to have to hound my kid and it was worth it to me to outsource it. factors to consider: does your kid really need hounding? are you or her other parent in a position to edit and would she allow it? how familiar are you with the schools that she might apply to? Most people I know used one for the eldest but I live in NYC and kids were applying to the most competitive schools and, candidly, they could afford it. I do not intend to use it for my second because i didn’t actually think the advisor brought that much to the “picking schools” portion of it (not that she wasn’t helpful just me and my husband are very familiar) and i think my younger one will let me edit his work and we won’t kill each other. If this turns out to be a mistake I know there are people you can find who charge hourly for discrete tasks. All in, it was not the best money i ever spent.
OP here and I think I’d rather just spend $ on touring actual schools and having someone do the hounding (I hate that, kid hates that, and I feel that I don’t understand the process (Naviance + common app + whatever else there is). I think I do have a decent understanding of the list-making process (maybe not for kid 2, who will likely be higher-stats and has some special interests she may want to pursue).
We hired one to supervise the Common App for around $600. She was a college counselor at one of the local private schools. It was a few hundred extra for her to advise on target schools and to provide feedback on the essays, which was not terribly useful, and to get my kid to believe that campus visits and engagement were actually important, which was useful because I could not get that message through. We found her through word of mouth. Just ask anyone you know with a kid between 12th grade and the middle of college. Health care providers who treat teens are surprisingly knowledgeable about these things too.
Best money I ever spent. My kid gets extremely anxious about administrative tasks and figuring things out, and resists when I try to scaffold. I don’t believe she would have gotten it together to fill out the applications on her own, even though she was ranked third in her class and theoretically smart enough to do it on her own. She could barely handle the driver’s license application and the passport application, both of which were much simpler.
This is not a response to OP, just a general question/observation: I applied to colleges 20 years ago and no one I knew had a counselor and my parents were not involved at all. I signed myself up for the SAT and used my part-time job earnings to buy an SAT prep book and pay for the application fees. I checked the college guide books out of the library, read them and came up with an application strategy (where to go early decision etc.) and hit the deadlines (sometimes at 11:59 pm…).
I don’t think my parents knew when the deadlines were. They were loving, involved, supportive, college-educated parents; they just saw college as a thing that adults do and not really their business to interfere with.
My oldest is only 12 but I was sort of thinking that she would manage her own college admission process? Is it much more complicated than 20 years ago? I know admissions in general are more competitive but there are many fine schools she could go to, many of which are not *that* selective. I guess I’m just not sure if I’m totally missing something that has fundamentally changed about the nature of college admissions in the last 2 decades.
Which would you prefer in a partner: 1) someone who meets all your emotional and intellectual needs and is your best friend or 2) someone who is a billionaire and checks many superficial boxes, but is largely unfeeling?
1. Billionaires are gross I make enough money
how’s the sex?
Depends on whether the billionaire cares about me having a side piece. If I can have a fulfilling romantic relationship outside of billionaire husband and then I have access to his money…
#1, no question! Maybe not “best friend” but certainly “a very, very good friend.” To quote my mom from long ago: “You can marry for money, but you still have to face the SOB at the breakfast table every morning.” Life is hard enough without knowingly marrying more trouble.
I could see either working for me, assuming fidelity and good sex are present in either scenario, since sex is the one thing marriage (for me) precludes the spouses from seeking elsewhere. I hate the idea of likely having to apologize for my husband in scenario #2, but I think people would “get” the decision.
Obviously 1. But I am a rich man myself so I don’t need to marry one.
#2. I have no problem making friends and keeping myself interested. I’m sure I could win over a rich husband, but I can’t make a charming rouge anything but a cost center.
This is never the choice though. #1 lives in his mother’s basement and doesn’t even help around her house; she still does his laundry or he’d never change the sheets, bless his heart. And no one is ever so well off that I’ve been motivated to compromise.
#1, no question.
I’m also not sure I’d want to date a literal billionaire even if I loved him. Hundred millionaire, sure, that would be nice to fly first class everywhere and stay in ultra luxury hotels or pied-a-terres in other cities, but billionaire level wealth means you’re going to be semi-famous and getting tabloid attention and that sounds horrible to me.
How old is guy #2?
Kidding, kidding.
is this a hypothetical or a real life issue? or are you writing a hallmark movie?
A billionaire is guaranteed to cheat on you and/or divorce you, so #1.
+1
Also I’ve been there and there’s nothing worse than being married to an unfeeling spouse.
Is this a choice you are making? It sounds like the billionaire won’t do anything abusive in this scenario?
This may sounds cynical, but it depends a lot on what standard of living I can provide on my own. If I can’t provide anything for myself and (1) means abject poverty, then (2). But if I can pick (1) and maintain a decent/secure standard of living (let’s say food, shelter, medical care, utilities, and a 5% savings rate) then (1). And the more I earn the more likely I am to have (1) as an option.
If this is a choice you are making, I would like to know more about your life.
I can’t tell whether you mean me or OP…it’s not a choice I’m making.
And if you are asking for a Hallmark movie at anon 3:57 asked, may I suggest that your protagonist mulls (1) and (2) and dislikes them both, so she decides to invest in herself: she gets an economics Ph.D. focusing on intra-household bargaining, after which she meets (through her work) a zillionaire who is also her soulmate?
Love this!!
OP here – it was a choice I sort of made when I was choosing my partner. I live in a very wealthy area and was seeing several sons of billionaires or hundred millionaires who were on track to make a tremendous amount of money themselves. I didn’t like them and instead dated the guy I liked the most. Now that we’re older, and everyone is partnered up, I’m seeing some women in our social circle who definitely chose closer to #2 (although those were maybe also the guys they liked the most!). I was just curious people’s thoughts! The movie “Materialists” also explored a similar theme and though I loved the ending it seemed like most people didn’t.
I had a similar-ish choice and chose 1. Main issue wasn’t even the unfeeling-ness towards me but I wanted to have kids and didn’t want to do that with anyone who wouldn’t be 100% into the idea because they loved those kids vs. checking a box, etc. 15+ years later and very happy with my choice, quality of life and our family. The main thing I always tell my children is that you need to be self-sufficient and self-reliant because then you can be free to make the choices you really want.
When you marry for money you pay for it every day of your life.
Assuming this billionaire also doesn’t feel an emotional connection with you he’s intentionally choosing a trophy wife he doesn’t care about. How do you think this man will treat you, especially as your looks fade with age and your emotional needs grow (ex: wanting a present father for your kids, dealing with health issues)
All the billionaires I have met are jerks. I would not want to live with one of them.
Obviously number 1.
I have had to make this decision before, and I picked #1.
A PSA for any ‘rettes who are struggeling to visualise sister sizes and UK bra sizes and how to get a well-fitting bra, I remember there’s been a few posts lately, including strapless searches.
MM styling on youtube, who has done some excellent body shape masterclasses, has recently made a video about bra fitting, and it’s a good introduction to real bra fitting and a couple of good examples of shape differences, would recommend: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgi8sZkO3P0
(Obviously do not click if bra-fitting is NSFW for you, it’s a what you see is what you get video from thumbnail onwards.)
Good post. I also like the Irish bra lady on instagram.
I have a college friend who staunchly posted on FB that he’d never turn his kids in, even if they killed someone. I was really taken aback. This person had been a minister (then left that, is very liberal). I don’t get it. I know this was in light of recent events, but my mind goes back to the Unibomber, where I think that the brother did the right thing (and maybe prevented even more people from dying; we will never know).
Just loading b/c I can’t really say it among others. No one in his comments had anything but positive things to say (so I guess the internet really is just an echo chamber).
I think a lot of people feel this way, even if most wouldn’t say it publicly. I would bet more likely than not if someone knew their child committed a crime of this sort that they wouldn’t turn them in.
Maybe some of the sentiment is coming from the obvious (and now, announced) fact that the state of Utah is going to seek the death penalty, if they even get to keep the case – my bet is that the feds take it just as they did Luigi Mangione’s case. Execution is much quicker in the federal system than the state system. I think some people may feel that by turning him in, this father effectively signed his son’s death warrant. And I can see why folks on either side of the spectrum (and perhaps, especially someone with strong religious values) might react negatively to that.
It’s such an incredibly unlikely and emotionally fraught situation that I can’t really judge what another person says (or thinks) they would do – I really doubt that anyone can put themselves in that situation unless it happened. I agree it was the right thing to do in both situations you reference (probably particularly in the ub’s, given he was a serial offender, though it seems likely that this fellow would have been sorely tempted to repeat if he were somehow able to get clean away), but man what a horrible situation to be in.
On the echo chamber, I’m sure I would scroll on by, but I’d definitely be thinking “yeah, like you really know what you would do there.” There was a time in my life I liked the idea of having discussions like that on FB, but that time is long-gone for me.
I would do whatever necessary to save innocent lives from future harm, but I don’t think I’d turn in my child for a past crime. I’ve seen enough of the so-called criminal justice system to think I owe less to it than to my child.
This is how I feel as well, especially as a criminal defense lawyer.
Well, we know from the weekend thread that at least one woman would turn in her kid for shooting Hitler, so…
Maybe excepting that (which for many of us would likely be some sort of anticipatory self-defense / defense of third parties).
In a scenario like the Kirk killing, or the killing of the UHC executive, I’d turn my kid in. First, I’d get the best lawyer and mental health professional I could, and I’d have them broker the process. I’d be very concerned that my child might otherwise be killed during an arrest, or someone would decide on vigilante justice.
Fundamentally, if your child commits murder, how could you not? It’s okay to avoid justice because you love your child? That’s unacceptable. Get them all the help you can, but taking a life is the most serious of crimes. I believe that you would also be accountable as an accessory after the fact. Some people have no understanding of accountability.